Hey Pandas, How Did You React When Someone Came Out To You? (Closed)
I would like you to share your experiences with us.
Most recent was my (M40) cousin (M19).
Him: I need to tell you something, and I need you to listen, I'm just going to say it, OK?
Him: I'm gay.
Him: Is that it?
Me: Pretty much, yeah. Now, Grab that [Hay] bale and bring it down to the stable.
Me: Wait! Is that you boyfriend in you car?
Him: Yeah, you want to meet him?
ME: F**k yeah! We'll move this hay in no time with 3 of us!
My daughter. I said I know, but I have always told you there is nothing you can do that will make me not love you. I loved you from the moment I knew I was pregnant. I will always love you. I will still be proud of you and I will always be there when times are hard. I’m your mom. Nothing has changed. I’m grateful you have the courage to tell me and live your life the way you choose. She is married to a wonderful woman I love and respect and they are totally happy.
i said oh, nice. whats her name?
my daughter told me she has a girl friend.
My son told me he was gay, and I hugged him. And I told him, without pause, that I love him, and he can love man, woman or both, or nothing at all, and he will still be My BEAUTIFUL SON.
One of my HS best friends came out as Bi to me. He’s dating a girl and they’re both very happy.
When he came out it wasn’t anything spectacular or a big event. We were playing video games together and in conversation he said “I reckon I’m Bi, does that change anything for you?”
I said “hey! That’s awesome. And nah it doesn’t change a damn thing, I still love you bro.”
(We’re both 18)
"Finally, now my friend group is officially the queers, queens, and everything in-betweens"
I think he knew that I didn't care one way or the other, and that I already knew. Friends are friends, that's all there is to it.
my brother (5 years older) came out to me (16). Told him it wasn't a secret. Still miss him.
I was shocked, but I hugged them and told them that I will always support them no matter what(my bisexual best friend, 8th grade, first person to come out to me). Some popular girls kept trying to get them to tell about it, and I defended them with my heart.
My ex came out to me whilst we were seeing each other. We'd gone out for 2.5 years as teenagers and then hooked up again as adults, nothing serious but because of our previous background it was comfortable. Anyhoooo, one day she rings me up and is bawling her eyes out and apologising profusely and I have no idea what she's apologising for. Eventually she calms down and says "I think I'm gay", I think I just said "okay" which set her off apologising again. Calmed her down again and said "it's fine, just be happy that's all I want for you, I'd rather you say this now than 2 years down the line". Anyhow, she started dating, was best woman at my wedding and then just started dodging my calls because of the lifestyle change (her and her girlfriend were always busy, off out doing things and eventually I just gave up being brushed off).
friend i had a crush on said that she has a crush on me.i was happy.next day ironicly a priest came and did a seminar about how sinful is lgbtq.my friend sided with priest.ignored her for 2 months then became friends.respect her opinion but i dont agree.we are fine now
So ik this isn't the question but I came out to my mom with a fact riddled PowerPoint filled with scientific facts. She basically just told me I was too young to know and it would be to hard for her to remember the right pronouns. Afterwards she acted like it never happened and we haven't talked about it since.
Honestly whenever 1of my friends come out its pretty much just another piece of news because all of us r queer
Roommate in college. I was changing for bed, standing there in my bra, and she says "You know, I'm bi." And my sweet summer child self thought "By what? By the bed? By the table?" I must have looked confused because she followed up with "Bi-sex-u-al." She offered to find other accommodations if I was uncomfortable. I put my shirt on and said we were cool.
I was caught off guard, but when my most recent family member came out, I finally got to use the quote "you're no son of mine." I'd actually thought she was going to be a girl until the doctor said otherwise, then 18 years later she realized the doctor had been wrong.
My only regret is having given her such an obviously masculine name. I was delighted when she chose the name I'd have given her if she'd been DFAB. Also, using the same non-gendered nickname has made it easier to deal with extended family who aren't aware of any of our statuses and wouldn't be accepting. (It still makes no sense to me that some people are so offended by things that aren't even their concern!)
My husband 's answer: Better that than (irrelevant soccer team) supporter... At least you'll have a chance at being happy!
Ooh good question! I always give them a big squeeze, tell them I love them, and make sure that they are safe and loved. Other than “I love you” I often don’t say much when they are coming out. It’s their moment to shine and my turn to sit back and celebrate/accept/listen to them
And for any of you who are queer, please know that from this queer to you I LOVE YOU AND YOU ARE IMPORTANT ❤️
My oldest child came out to me as transgender. It was difficult to hear but after reassuring him we were okay and loved him, we just said, okay let’s figure out the next steps.
I quoted Vince Lombardi via Homer Simpson, your outta the family.
My best friend in 7th grade came out to me. I hugged her and told her that O would support her no matter what and that I was proud of her.
i dont remember it was like 3 years ago but something along the lines of "cool"
my friend: i use they/them pronouns now
my dum bass: okay.
me: hey they
I was thrilled! I congratulated him and hugged him tight and told him I was a lifelong ally and was there for him 100%. He is a family member and most of our family and his parents have always been supportive.
I've had a lot of people come out to me. I usually respond with a "congrats" or "that's cool" or "I support you, Brosita/Broskita/Broski
A long time ago, someone came out to me as trans. i made him a cocktail dress.
Happy they told me, but the first time someone came out to me was them confessing they had a crush on me
Me (39f) to my sister(30), holding my new born baby: It's your time, now. She: It will be difficult... I like girls, not men... Me: So...? Never heard of donors...?
Queue in hilarity and relief (on her part)...
The nail salon I went to for many years was owned by a gay female couple. One did my nails, the other waxed my legs. Many years passed, then the manicurist decided to come out to me. I stopped her mid-sentence & said, "I know, I've known since my 1st visit here." (She looked shocked.) I continued, "The energy between the 2 of you was so intense, I picked up on it & I said to myself, those 2 are a couple, & if they're not - they should be!" I told her I never said anything b/c it wasn't my place, what if they were in the closet, or if a gay-phobic customer overheard & quit going to their salon? I didn't want to be the reason they lost a customer. She thanked me profusely for that. I added, "Besides, if it bothered me, would I sit here week after week holding hands with you while you do my nails?" She laughed. Afterwards, she trusted me enough to confide her romantic troubles to me when they occured. The only reason I quit going there was the fact that I relocated to a different state when I retired.
I said "you can see my surprised face"
He told me he was actually bisexual then asked me out on my birthday and it was really awkward I was like 11 and I basically just freaked out and said "no sorry" and I really regret being like that cause I think it was harsh but we good friends now
I just said "okay", when my best friend came out to me.
My dumb naive younger self had no idea what it meant. Didn't change how I saw her and I think she was glad for that.
Only ever had one person come out to me. We were supportive and saying "good for you". But afterwards everyone i told said "well we knew that."
Incredibly honored! It took me years to overcome my fear of public speaking, and now I do it with ease. That PALES in comparison to how scary it must be to reveal such vulnerability! To all of you out there getting ready to do the same thing, I wish you the best!
The first was back in the '90s. We were about to move in together and she thought she should "warn" me she used to be a guy (she was five years post-op). I asked her to pass the salt. She asked if I had any questions or concerns. I asked if she was happy. She said yes. I replied "Great! Can I have the salt please?" She and her partner have been telling the story of my "reaction" for decades. It wasn't that I didn't care, it was that, so what? You are my friend and I love you, I don't give two hoots who you were before we met.
I am a lesbian. Came out to my mom. She never hesitated and just said that I am her child and that she loves me no matter what. So has many friends come out to me. Although I usually just know, I make it a "deal" in the sense of telling them that it's ok and that they have my support weather they come out to other people or not. I know for some it's a bigger thing than for others because of their circumstances at home or within their family or even their ethnic background. For anyone who wants to come out, I would encourage you. The people who really want to be in your life, will stay. The fakes and bigots will leave. So good for you right?
I've been privileged enough to be someone that people come out to all my life, and incredibly privileged to be the first person a few times. I've always tried to be a safe space for my friends and family and I'm happy that translated into trust and sharing. I know that coming out is a massive and terrifying step for many and I feel incredibly honored to be a part of their journey.
When I say coming out I am not only referring to sexuality but also neurodivergence.
My response is usually some variation of ''Wow/Amazing/Awesome. I'm so proud of you for sharing. Would you like to talk about it or are you still processing? And the most important thing I always say - I love you and this will change everything and nothing at the same time. This is who you are and stepping into that can be very overwhelming when you've had to pretend to be something or someone else your entire life. It's really scary but so rewarding, and I'm here for you.
If they do want to talk about it - we really get into it. And not just the positive parts, we explore what to expect when coming out to others. The challenges that lie ahead. But we do also explore all the good things too - how the people that are meant to be in your life will love and accept you. And something important to remember is that unfortunately many of us will lose people we care deeply about when we step into ourselves. And that's okay. Those aren't your people. We are.
A friend of mine came put as genderqueer before I started transitioning. I had asked their pronouns, they said they were fine with any, and we never actually discussed it. Same way with my gender although we do talk a lot about gender in general now
'Cool now can we order the food?" Said to my friend who came out 18yrs ago.
They are happy I'm happy they are happy.
"okay...you know it isn't exactly breaking news, don't you?"
"Oh okay then"
For me, I act as chill ab it as possible. just a simple "oh ok cool, love you." works perfect for me. its honestly not a big hoopla and isnt cause for any alienating or big speech on my part🤷♀️
One of my friends in middle school told me they were pan, and I just looked tey up and down and hugged them, I said " I accept you for who you are, and will always be your friend.
My best friend told me she was pan. I squealed and hugged her. I'm so happy for her. She may or may not have also been a minor (*cough* major) influence on me being bi. I kinda had a crush on her later on. Got rejected. We still besties tho. She made a cake and decorated with the Pan flag when she told her parents. She's an awesome person and I can't imagine ever loving someone more than I love her. I couldn't ask for a better best friend :D
I (straight, male) was 18 at the time. A guy I met at parties wanted to hang out and have a beer, we met up, had some beer and he started to act a bit weid and started giving me compliments. It never occured me before but he must have thought I was sending signals so he thought I was gay. He came out to me and I declined him. He was a bit dissapointed and also afraid as he was still secretive about it at the time. We remained friends and he even tried to hook me up with one of his girl friends. Cool guy, shame we parted ways going to college.