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14submissions
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Hey Pandas, Does Life Ever Get Better? Is It Even Worth It?
For my whole life, I’ve never found a place I actually belong. People think I’m too “weird” and they say I’m too much and wish I’d be gone. They tell me I’m too stupid and that others are far better than me. I believe what they say is true so I try hard to get better but I’m always stuck at the same level as others advance. Maybe by asking this question I can get some hope, or not. It’s not like anything really matters
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#1
Yes, it really does. Until I was 43 years old, I suffered from severe major depressive disorder, including several hospitalizations for attempted $uicide. Three years ago, we finally found the right combination of meds to really help.
My depression lifted, and my entire world changed. I couldn't have imagined this life - joyful, beautiful, engaging, etc. I had no point of reference to tell me it could be like this. The best I could imagine was that life would just be less miserable. There was no way for me to see just how wrong I was, and how much More life had to offer.
When the depression controlled my life, I couldn't comprehend a different way to feel. Now, understanding life without having to fight those demons every day, I feel more free than I ever have before. But if this was the only way I had ever felt, there's no way I could understand genuine depression. It's not apple vs oranges, it's apples vs giraffes.
Your feelings are valid. YOU are valid. The fact that you ARE means that you are important and worthy of love. You don't have to earn that - it's a fact of your existence.
It gets better. Don't give up. Unlike Sisyphus, you can reach the summit despite the burden of your trials. You just have to not give up. So far, you have survived 100% of your worst days. You can do this.
Final score:
8points
Mari 3 months ago
Thanks for giving hope. I am fighting for 14 years now, I have a chronical depression. I take meds, I feel way better than before but I have still to fight to get through the days. Your story gives me hope and I will try once more to find better medication. I am so happy for you, enjoy your freedom !
RELATED:
#2
Life absolutely is worth it.
Sometimes it feels like everything sucks, but every day that you wake up choose to continue to try is a step toward a less sucky future. Regardless of how “weird” you are (imo you’re the good kind of weird star) anyone who tells you you should be less you isn’t worth listening to. And you should live your best life just to spite them
Final score:
7points
GhostlySnail (she/her) (Submission author) 4 months ago
It cut off the rest of my message :( rude. Anyway things do matter, and you’re the most incredibly smart person I know so if anyone on earth can get out of a sucky situation and prove all those idiots wrong, it’s totally you. Stay safe star <333
#3
Dear Stardust. Your thoughts and your way of thinking show that you are a really nice person, someone who has deep feelings. Claim your place here on earth, one day you will find people who share the same intrests. Until then, try to find a way to feel better: therapy, medication, study, a new hobby, love of a pet, writing a diary... I know how hard it is, it is a fight but it is worth it.
Final score:
6points
#4
You haven't found your people yet! It takes a while to find them and it usually happens through 1 other person. It sounds like you are hanging out with people that don't have the same interests or values. Look at your interests then look in your local hippie paper and see if there is a group that meets somewhere. Online is too iffy. Take a shower, put on clean clothes and - here's the hard part - go to it.
Those people you hang with now - have a comeback ready like - at least my family tree isn't a wreath. sounds like they won't expect it.They aren't better than you, they are different than you.
Final score:
5points
Lyone Fein 3 months ago (edited)
Yes. With people it is quality over quantity that is important. Having one or two people that you can spend quality time with once in a while does more for your mental health than spending a ton of time with people who make you feel like c r a p.
#5
My dear Stardust, you don't always have the choice of people around you, but do the best you can. Try to seek people who are kind, be kind to others, and to yourself. The people around you who seem so confident are in truth not. Hold tight, and stay safe. It will get better. And your fellow Pandas are here for you.
Final score:
5points
#6
Hi Star! I don't think I've spoken to you; so nice to internet-meet you! I'm mid 30s, so probably a fair bit older than you, and it's only now I'm more (not completely) content with myself. I still have depression, and there are still days -- even with medication -- that I wonder what you've asked.
I looked at your bio and it seems you're a teenager? I detested high school and frankly, I don't think I could summon the saliva to spit onto most of my ex-class members nowadays if they were on fire in front of me. You are worthy, and if these punks are telling you otherwise, please try and ignore them because they are *wrong*. You may not fit into "their mold". I was like that in HS and it f**king hurt... until I realised that I disliked these people too much to *want* to fit into their mold. Just because the people that are physically around you at this particular time may not gel with you doesn't mean you're stupid, a freak, or worse than.
For me, life got better out of HS because I detested the people around me. You will find your niche. Might be offline; might be online. You're obviously an intelligent woman. (I speak English. I can ask Japanese people where the toilet is. That's about it.) There is somewhere for you. You are always welcome to email me if you want to chat; check my bio for my email. You may not feel appreciated by those around you right now, but please know that people will care if you're gone. I haven't spoken with you, but I would mourn you. I'm sure the other posters here would mourn you. You are loved, even if it's from places you wouldn't think. Please stay safe.
Final score:
4points
Stardust she/her 3 months ago
I, i feel grateful for your message. Im bad at expressing feelings but thank you so much for sharing your experience, i feel a bit less lonely now. I left my old school and thought id flourish but im just doing worse, im a bit immature for my age but yeah i loathe my new classmates (even if some of them are nice). I hope you’re doing well
#7
Life definitely gets better if you will allow it to.
We can't control what life throws at us, but we do get to decide what kind of catchers glove we want to have.
There's only two things that we have total control over, and those are our thoughts and our behavior.
If you decide that you choose happiness, then it's up to you to act and think in ways that will support that.
It's doable, and I should know. Years ago, I came home from work and found my husband hanging in our garage. Instead of supporting me, his family turned on me, doing whatever they could to hurt me.
Their actions, along with my own horrific grief, nearly destroyed me.
It's times like this when we find out who we are and what we're made of.
With the help of a therapist, I regained my sense of self, and grew into an even better, more badass version of myself.
In time, I forgave them, which then freed me up and I became lighter.
Make the the conscious decision that life is worth living. Have a conversation with your higher self and state your purpose, and then watch what happens.
Final score:
3points
#8
Oh Star… I enjoy you and your comments. We are separated by distance and age (I just turned 45, yay), but I understand your sentiments. I’ve always felt very separate too, and unfortunately I discovered alcohol before a diagnosis of depression. It is a struggle, but I will not stop fighting. YOU make your life worth it. YOU make yourself happy. Stay strong and know that BP is the village that opens its arms to you.
Final score:
3points
#9
So, I don’t know if I’ll be much help, but I’m going to try. Here’s a bit that I’ve written for times like this:
(Here’s the shortened version)
The Rebellion of Hope
All I can control are my own thoughts and actions. Nothing more.
“Fate guides the willing, and drags the unwilling.” -Seneca
So why should we pretend that we have control? An old Arabian proverb says that we are like dogs tied to a caravan. We can choose to resist, and get hurt in our trying to control what we can’t, or we can go with it and enjoy what we can.
How can I assume a total perspective on every single outcome of this event?
“Appearances are all we have. Suspend your judgment, and you will find peace.” -Sextus Empiricus
How can we say for certain that something will be bad? In saying that, we assume that we have a complete and total understanding and perspective on the event. Why should we deny ourselves the solace we can take in the knowledge that something good can come out of something bad?
I can choose hope.
“The last of the human freedoms: to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” -Victor Frankl
How can we say that an event will have no good outcomes? Maybe it will, maybe it won’t. But why should we deny ourselves joy by focusing on what’s going wrong? If we accept that we can’t change it, admit that we don’t know every outcome, and then choose to hope, we’ll be content. Contentment and joy are attitudes, not reactions. And we get the choice, every day, to choose between anger, resentment, frustration, and fear, or joy, contentment, and peace. Your choice.
Final score:
2points
Probably Legal (Submission author) 3 months ago
And some quotes, just for fun: “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” -Haruki Murakami “Hope: being brave enough to want something even when you know you might not get it. Hope is only lost when we can convince ourselves that it is.” -Me “When the winds of fate blow, some build walls, others build windmills.” – Chinese Proverb “God has arranged all things in the world in consideration of everything else.” – Spinoza “Happiness does not depend on what you have or who you are. It solely relies on what you think.” – Buddha “There are two ways to live your life: one is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein “Serenity is not freedom from the storm, but peace amid the storm.” – Unknown “For now we see in a mirror indirectly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known.” – 1 Corinthians 13:12
#10
Hi. I am a 62 year old woman who has been taking antidepressants for 31 years. And they have definitely saved my life.
Both of my parents were extremely a*****e, and I started being depressed at about the age of 11 or 12. Like you, my teenage years were very lonely and painful. Once in a while I thought I found a friend I could talk to. But honestly, as a teen, everyone is really wrapped up in their own little world and problems.
I started talking with therapists/counselors around the age of 20, when I was at college. And I highly recommend doing this for yourself as soon as possible. Your highschool probably has some sort of guidance counselor on the faculty, or maybe you have a favorite teacher? Just any adult you admire. Ask them if you can make an appointment to talk with them sometime outside of class.
If there is something you love to do, you should do more of it. No matter what anyone else says about it. It could be art or music. It could be gaming. It could be legos. Or rock collecting. Bird watching. Whatever. If it gives you peace or makes you feel good. Do it more.
Final score:
2points
Lyone Fein (Submission author) 3 months ago
PS. I feel like talking with therapists (and others) has given me so much self awareness. And with self awareness comes increased power over my choices. Choices about actions, but also about thoughts, beliefs, and feelings. This is very freeing. This is what makes life better. It is work, but it is within your grasp.
#11
Hi Star. I’m so sorry life has been tough on you. I’ve had struggles of my own, with intense OCD and anxiety. I’ve had days when I just want to give up, and give in to what life is burdening me with. But we don’t have to give up. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, no longer how long and dark it seems. I made it through my anxiety and OCD, and let me tell you, it was an every day struggle. It had been worsening for a year and a half, and took months and months for me to start down the right path.
I just wanted to let you know, that no matter how long you’ve been struggling, it’s never too late for things to start getting better. All you can do is carry on each day.
I’ve been using therapy and meds to help me out, and it really does help. If you have someone to reach out to to help you organize therapy, I strongly encourage it.
I was ashamed and embarrassed to admit I needed help, and I denied what was really going on in an effort to reassure myself that I was okay. The first step to getting through my intense anxiety was accepting myself, and understanding that I'm different.
I read that you are in high school, I am too!!! I know how it feels to have people at school judge you, I knew people did when my OCD was really acting out. But hey, if you ever want somebody to talk to, I’m here. I’d love to chat and help however I can.
Don’t give up on yourself, you’re stronger than the world is giving you credit for 💕🩷💕
Final score:
2points
#12
It depends on your outlook on life and what you do with it.
There's a lot of dystopian, unjustices and cruelty in the world. There's a lot of hardships and heartache we go through. Sometimes we endure suffering and it can feel overwhelming to move on.
But at the end of the day, we have our little world, our own lives that we can fill with whatever joy we can find. It may be small and insignificant to the masses, but they're not a concern when you're going about your own life.
I have a lot of problems. There's a ton of uncertainty and political worries going on in my country of Canada. But like our government, we make the best of it and carry on, doing what we can to improve our lives and focus on what makes living so good.
I work a stressful job. It's not glamorous, nor desireable. It pays and at the end of the shift I can go home, where I'm greeted at the door with hugs and kisses. We're working on a diamond art piece that is both meditative and addicting, but we're doing it together and it's something we're bonding over. Just being with my daughter, having established a close-knit bond, unlike me and my own mom's, it keeps me motivated. Definitely worth enduring the grind to see that shining smile and sparkling eyes every day. Even if I had no daughter, I would still find peace and love within myself. There's lots of interests I have. There's so much in the whole universe to discover. The yearn to learn is also worth it.
Final score:
1point
#13
No. Life is ok through your 30s but it seems to be downhill from there. I am 65 now.
Final score:
0points
#14
Life at the moment is boring, but in a good way. Dramas have been and gone. You have things to look forward too. Moments of peace, and serenity, and contentment.
Final score:
0points
What do you think ?
Stardust she/her (Post author) 3 months ago
Just going, I wish to give up but it’s not feasible so I’m toughing it out. Thank you so much for asking though <3
Load More Replies... Stardust she/her (Post author) 3 months ago
Just going, I wish to give up but it’s not feasible so I’m toughing it out. Thank you so much for asking though <3
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