I'm pansexual, and my GF is bi and trans. She was forced out, and I haven't come out yet to my parents, so I'm looking for ideas. Or maybe I'm just looking for success stories. My parents are super religious and pretty intolerant by the way.
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I have not yet come out to my parents for my sexuality, because I don’t know what it is, but my dad knows that my pronouns are she/ they.
One day, I don’t know how it happened, but my dad asked me how I fit in with my queer and trans friends. I was a bit scared , I didn’t know how he would react to me being queer/questioning, but I told him that I use they/them pronouns along with she/ her. He was pretty chill. He still doesn’t get what non-binary means. He still argues that they/ them refers to multiple people, but he didn’t make a big deal out of it. :P
On another note, I have this feeling that my family KNOWS I’m queer, but I can prove it without coming out. I have two pride stickers on my mirror that’s on the inside of my closet door that I know they’ve seen. One of them is a rainbow heart-shaped sticker and the other is also heart-shaped but nonbinary. One day my mom (who is a bit transphobic and homophobic) decided to look in my room to see how messy it was. When I walked in my room, the closet door was wide open and she stood up next to it and looked in. There was NO way she could have missed those stickers…
Anyway, hopefully a time will come when you can tell your parents, and they will be super supportive.
I've come out twice. Once for sexuality, once for gender.
When I came out the first time, it was to my mom. I told her I was queer. She simply said 'I know', and life moved on. Looking back it was pretty obvious I wasn't straight. I was lucky that my family was accepting.
The second time is much more recent. I came out as trans. I think it was one of the scariest things I've ever had to do. I told them that I'm a boy, and that I wanted to go by Harvey. They were mostly fine with the whole 'boy' thing, but it was my name they got stuck on. They said it was 'an old jewish man's name', which isn't something that bothers me, as that is what I will someday be. It's taking time to fully accept me as I am. But I hope that one day they'll be able to love me as Harvey.
I'm sure they will! They're your parents and they love you no matter what.
I knew consciously for four years before I came out (ages eleven to fifteen), and was coming to a point where it was going to explode out of me. I decided to give myself a month and then do it, but that same night when I was a home, I was obviously, visibly miserable. My sister went upstairs and my mother asked me what was wrong. I said I had something I needed to tell her, so we sat down and I steadied my breaths before telling her I was gay. She sat and cried with me, not because she had a problem with it, but because she didn’t want me to have a harder life. Then she ordered me pizza and I went upstairs to tell my sister. She said ‘Yay!’ And we sat and listened to pop songs while she talked about how great and cool it was that she had a lesbian for a sister (not performative—she meant it. It made it easier for her to come out as pan a few years later).
A week later, I was sitting in the car with my father, and he was talking about my future. He said ‘Someday, when you have a house and a husband…’ and I said ‘Daddy, I’m gay.’ Without hesitating, he said ‘Okay, someday, when you have a house and a wife…’ That was the best reaction in theory, but after four years of building it up, it felt so anticlimactic that it was actually super depressing. Like such a huge deal for me meant nothing to him. He’s amazing, though, and has always been such an incredible ally. I love him very much. He’s on this app and will recognize this if he sees it. So if he does, thanks.
But yeah, here I am eleven years later, living with the love of my life, still so lucky to have an amazing network of supportive, accepting people.
Last year, I knew I wasn't straight. But I wasn't sure what I was. I have since figured out that I am, in fact, a lesbian.
I texted my mom that I was bi, but I haven't yet told her I am a lesbian. I'm not sure if my dad knows though. That is an awkward conversation to have
For a while I was bi- until I realised I wasn’t into men, I just wanted to look like them.
When I came out to my mom as transgender, she said it’s a phase, but I have always felt like I was born the wrong gender, but when I told her that I prefer to be called Charlie, she supported it. When I came out to my parents as gay, they supported me. I wish I could say that for my grandmother who found out today that I have a boyfriend, she said “well I guess you aren’t non binary anymore because you have a boyfriend.” I felt like saying that I identify as a male, but I kept my mouth shut, and I was so embarrassed that my mom said that I have a boyfriend.
Me: Mom, i like boys and girls.
Mom: ok
i never really got to come out, at least to my parents. they deep searched my phone and found my pinterest where i would dm my gf at the time (it was actually right after we broke up) and they confronted me about it. we haven't talked about it in 6 months and they like to pretend i'm straight. for my friends it was way easier. for the first friend, she already kind of knew, so i confirmed it with her. for another, we were texting and i just slipped into the conversation, "oh btw i'm gay" and he was like "cool" lmao. but for most of the other friends i just mentioned my (ex)gf and they didn't even really seem surprised. they all took it well except for one super religious friend but she's come around to accepting it. so yeahh. good luck!
um idk why someone downvoted you. have an upvote, and im glad everyone supported you!
Coming out as lesbian: I told my sister I had a crush for the first time (bad idea) and she ran and told my mom. When I told my mom that my crush was a girl, she started on The Rant.tm about how I was too young to know. Over the next few months I made as many lesbian things as I could and covered my spots in the house with them. About 2 years later, she now has come to terms with it.
Coming out as Nonbinary: I walked into my parents’ room and told them that I wanted to go with they/them pronouns from now on. I got a several hour lecture about “is this really what you want? If you had different friends you might not be this way” my mom then went on to say something along the lines of “if you had different friends you might be gender fluid, but you wouldn’t be trans” and I had to explain to her that I am not trans, I’m nonbinary. It’s been a few months, and they haven’t quite come to terms with it, but they’re trying
I’m also an enby lesbian! Sorry that your parents are a bit strange about the community. But the way you handled them not believing that your a lesbian is hilarious!
As a wee kid I was openly bi and didn’t have a hard time coming out. However I slowly realised I might be non-binary, and told my mum. She had no issue, but she did tell me that it was a big decision and that I should be sure of it before saying anything. So for about a month, I was demigirl. Then I became full non-binary, however my parents still have a small issue with accidentally saying the wrong thing. My nan was the big issue, and I never really said anything. I later realised I was just a lesbian because I only wanted to look like the men. I am currently questioning being ace, because it doesn’t appeal to me much, but I do want to be in a relationship (only going as far as hugs kisses being iffy.)
