Hey Pandas, AITA For Kicking My Sister’s BF Out Of Our Place?

I never thought I'd be doing one of these but I don't really use reddit and it seems to me I see better advice on here anyhow so I'm hoping some of you might be able to help.

Here's the deal.

So my(22) sisters(25, gonna call her L) bf(26, call him D) lost his sister just over a year ago in a car accident. It messed him up pretty bad mentally and he started spiraling.

Now I'll admit I've never been his biggest fan, I find him immature and inconsiderate and many other things. But nobody deserves to go through that kind of loss and I feel for him. I really do.

About three months ago D got in a fight with his parents (he'd given up his apartment to move back in since his sis died) and they kicked him out. He asked L if he could crash at our apartment for a while. She asked me and I said sure, because I knew he was doing bad and she said it would only be for two weeks...

Well like I said that was a little over three months ago. Since he's been here he has been improving a little bit. He's still not fully back to himself. So I have let a LOT slide.

He started putting empty beer bottles on the top of our cabinet. I told him our neighbors gave us roaches and we only just got rid of them so to please not do that. He claimed he never got roaches doing at HIS apartment and I said "none the less, I don't want them up there. Please take them down" and he did... For about 3 days. Then he started all over again. I asked him twice more but L asked me to let it go because it was something his sister used to do and I guess it's his way of being close to her. So I dropped it.

Then he rearranged our living room because it was "giving bad vibes." Well now it cramped and the is right against the neighbors wall and he moved a bunch of my stuff and it took me ages to figure it all out. I kept my mouth shut.

Then he started eating my frozen meals I take to work. He knows dam well that while I don't care if he helps himself to anything else in the house, the frozen meals are off limits. He took my last three, didn't ask, didn't apologize, and didn't replace them. But I once again let it go because L insisted he's having a hard time and he's depressed and cooking is hard sometimes when you're like that. Which yeah it is. I'm also depressed. And exhausted, and agitated and a million other things and I get it but I still make dinner for all three of us every. Single. Night. Because neither of them like to cook. But fine whatever. Let it go.

There's a lot more examples but I'll digress.

Today was the last straw for me. I've been sick the last two days. So I haven't done much in the way of cooking or cleaning. He offered to help me clean my room. I told him no. He offered again, I told him no thank you. He offered a third time and I said "look dude I appreciate that your trying to help but I really don't want any help and I really don't want you moving stuff around in my room. It's my personal space." He asked me why I was being a stubborn b---

I don't like that word. He KNOWS I don't like that word. I finally snapped and said "look dude I don't want you in my room alright as-hole" and he FLIPPED HIS SH*T took an attitude with me like I'm a f*cking 3 yar old having a temper tantrum. Talked down to me and tried to intimidate me.

I said nothing. Because yesterday was the one year anniversary of his sisters death and I understand it has to be hard. And L gets pretty severe anxiety when people fight (childhood trauma I won't go into) so I one again let it go. Or at least I tried to until he said "yeah that's what I f*cking thought" like he thought I was admitted to being in the wrong rather than trying to be kind to that mother f-----

He doesn't pay rent. He doesn't pay utilities. He doesn't pay groceries or Internet or anything else. He doesn't cook and he rarely cleans. But he still has the audacity to disrespect me in MY HOME after everything I've let go and I'm just finally done. On top of it all when L tried to calm him down he screamed at her until she cried.

I waited til they both left for work.

I spent FOUR HOURS writing and revising and making this text nicer and nicer but I told L that he had three days to get his stuff and get out. And if he isn't gone by then I'm putting in a request for a change of locks.

But now she's saying I'm TAH for kicking him out with such short notice and the day after the anniversary and how it's cold and if his parents don't let him come back he'll be sleeping in his car.

But I really just can't find it in myself to care. I've spent months dealing with his bull and I'm livid. He's had plenty of time to save up and find a place and if he hasn't managed yet thats not my problem.

But now L is having this meltdown and crying because she's stressed and she's begged me multiple times now to please reconsider for HER sake. And I'm starting to feel bad about it, solely for her.

So I'm asking for a little perspective here. AITA?