“I Simply Left”: Guy’s Wholesome Birthday Gift For Niece Makes Him An Unwelcome Guest
Just because someone’s a member of your family doesn’t mean that they’re always right or that you have to support them 100% of the time. It’s important to call them out when they’re in the wrong and treat you poorly. Because love—real love—means enforcing healthy boundaries even when things get incredibly uncomfortable, not rolling over when they yell at you.
Redditor u/legatoovercook turned to the r/entitledparents online community for a spot of advice after revealing that he’s now an unwelcome guest in his own brother’s home. Things came to a head at the OP’s niece’s 5th birthday party when she unwrapped his gift. Instead of giving her an iPad like his sister-in-law hinted at, he got his niece something else. Cue the temper tantrum from both the kid and her mom. Read on for the full story. Bored Panda got in touch with u/legatoovercook via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
Kids sometimes get upset when they expect one gift and get another. But you would think their parents might act more maturely
Image credits: Ivan Samkov (not the actual photo)
A guy turned to the internet for advice after a very uncomfortable situation at his niece’s fifth birthday party
Image credits: growgokids
Image credits: legatoovercook
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
The family’s reaction to the uncle’s birthday gift was wrong on a lot of levels
There are several main issues at play here. First of all, it’s unseemly to treat a guest (least of all a beloved family member) like they did something outrageously wrong just because they bought a different gift than was expected. You simply don’t yell at your relatives, either in private or in public.
Yes, things might get heated and nobody’s perfect, but everyone should strive to treat others like they themselves would like to be treated. It’s the foundation of politeness, kindness, and empathy. The situation shows that either the woman doesn’t respect her brother-in-law or there are far bigger issues at work here, and she’s dealing with those personal frustrations by lashing out at others. There’s also the chance that she’s simply incredibly entitled and can’t fathom anyone not listening to her demands… but it’s hard to make judgments from afar.
Secondly, the child’s mom shouldn’t have told her that her uncle would supposedly be getting her an iPad. When you raise someone’s expectations—especially when that ‘someone’ is a child who has a lot of emotional and mental growth to do—only to dash them, you might get frontline seats to a terrifying temper tantrum.
Image credits: Timur Weber (not the actual photo)
iPads are very expensive and it’s not the sort of present that you demand from your guests
And thirdly, the mom should never have dumped the demand for such an expensive gift on her brother-in-law. We’re not talking about a random toy here: iPads are gosh darn costly. Depending on the model, it can set you back quite a bit.
According to Apple, an iPad Pro currently costs anywhere from $799. An iPad Air is $599, a 10th generation iPad costs $449 while a 9th gen device will set you back $329. Meanwhile, an iPad Mini costs $499. Not everyone has that kind of money just sitting in their bank account, to be burned on someone’s birthday gift.
You simply can’t ask your guests to buy such expensive gifts and then get mad at them when they opt for a mud garden for kids. And if we’re honest, the mud garden sounds like a far healthier option than giving a kid a(nother) screen to stare at. If you’re bombarding your child with unlimited screen time from an early age, you may end up making them addicted to technology, the internet, video games, TV shows, and social media from a very early age, while their minds are still developing.
MedlinePlus stresses the fact that sitting in front of a screen is a sedentary activity which means that your child is inactive. This can lead to a lot of problems down the line, including weight gain, attention problems, poor sleep at night, anxiety, and even depression. Now, that’s not to say that kids should live completely without technology, but it’s vital that parents enforce healthy boundaries here.
Image credits: Robo Wunderkind (not the actual photo)
It’s up to the parents to set a good example for their children to follow
Some of the things that parents can do here include setting a good example. Children emulate what others around them do. So if you’re always on your phone and on the computer, they’re going to do the same. Reduce the amount of time that you spend in front of screens to show a good example.
Something else to keep in mind is to prohibit eating meals and snacks in front of any screen. That way, your kids will have a healthier relationship with food. In the meantime, find alternatives to phones, iPads, consoles, and computers, like having a board game night, going to the playground, heading out for a walk in the park, etc. If you feel that things are really getting out of hand, set hard limits on screen time. You can also set up a challenge for the entire family where nobody will use any screens for a week.
As we’ve mentioned on Bored Panda before, parents have a huge responsibility to ensure that their children don’t grow up to be spoiled and entitled. While it’s perfectly fine to want to be in the spotlight on your birthday, it doesn’t give you the freedom to treat others poorly. Do that enough times and you might soon find that you’re running out of friends who are willing to tolerate you (and your parents).
A wonderful idea that parents can consider embracing is putting in the effort to create healthy and empathetic birthday traditions. For instance, after a celebratory breakfast and getting to pick out a gift or two, the family could then do some volunteer work or donate some old toys to kids in need. That way, you’re teaching your child about the importance of generosity and kindness even on their special day. It helps them understand that the world doesn’t stop turning for them.
Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo)
Here’s what the internet had to say about the drama at the birthday
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While his brother does seem like a potential AH, this has the scent of abusive relationship all over it.
Sure does. I hope this guy keeps the lines of communication open with his brother.
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Even my niece who is ten and fairly responsible lost her fake Apple Pencil in her bedroom somewhere. My godson loves drawing on my iPad, and he is 5, there’s no way I’d let him near it unsupervised! I don’t understand why someone would ask for such an expensive, fragile gift.
Dam. My nieces and nephews would have loved a mud kitchen when they were little.
I had to look up what it was and now I want one ( and I'm 41 lol).
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This would be the last gift I ever buy any of them and the last time I would ever be in that house.
I've a few questions. How does people don't feel ashamed to ask for expensive gifts ? Who and why give ipad to kids ?
People who aren't ashamed of asking for expensive gifts are either A) Extremely close to the gift giver and might be asking as a joke (obviously not the case here) or B) Is an entitled narcissist who thinks the world owes them their souls and then some. I think this is is the case, since she threw such a tantrum. (The mother, not the child) She was shocked someone dared to not get on their knees and lick her heels, so much so it sent her into a fit of confusion and rage. As for who and why someone would gift a kid an ipad - Either a parent who is lucky enough to have a responsible gentle child, or yet another rich ahole who takes money for granted.
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All of this is bad but nobody is addressing the fact that this woman told her daughter what she was getting for her birthday. Who does that? You find out what they want but you don't tell them they're definitely going to get it. Gifts are supposed to be a surprise. Where's the fun and surprise in that? What a s**t mom.
Should have told the kid that Mommy lied to her, why did your mommy lie? Because I never said I was getting you that thing, why did she lie to you and say I was?
He is correct! You should have put it over on the entitled Karen of a mother! This whole thing was 100% her fault! Not any one else's! That's crazy to ask for this for a child that is a 5 year old! The parents should provide stuff like that for the child if they think they should have it not the aunt or uncle!
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Totally NTA. Sounds like SIL was just using OP to buy an ipad for his niece. SIL is acting like an entitled POS and she's teaching her kid to be an ungrateful brat. His brother is also to blame here. He didn't have the balls to speak up.
I have an older brother who is a cowardly scum bag! And a turd.
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Yes SIL's parents are probably not very good at bringing up children.
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I think the brother is in an abusive relationship. I think if he wants to be able to talk to his brother he should try and contact him via third party like work or a friend.
Lately it seems like a lot of these stories read like they're written by a bot or AI. "5th Anniversary"? I've never hear that expression used to describe a child's birthday before. and an iPad? Would someone really expect an uncle to pay hundreds if not thousands of dollars for a 5 year old's gift (have you seen the prices of Apple iPads lately)? Some of these stories sound very made up...
A lot of other languages use the term 'anniversary' to mean what we know as 'birthday' in English. French being one of them
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Your brothers wife has his ballz in her purse. The wife is a witch. I would have snapped on the whole damn lot of them and took back my present and got a refund. And that would be the last gift any of them got from me. Tell them to kick rocks and tell your brother to grow a pair. Yep, im that pety.
The fact she TOLD the KID she was getting one when the OP never agreed to it is rude to OP AND her kid.
Entitled Karen cries boo hoo because her ploy to get an iPad for herself failed? My parents never allowed me or my brother to have birthday parties. But my sister was horribly spoiled rotten by our father! Mine and my sister's birthday are two days apart! So you can imagine her having a big party with gifts. And two days later I get a card and the words Happy Birthday but your sister gets an entire brand new matching bedroom suit. My family so sucked s**t!
A simple letter to the brother’s place of work will suffice. “Dear bro, your wife is awful and a bully. Your daughter is being brought up in the same vein. You will lose your friends and family. You will die saad and alone, filled with regrets. Grow a pair or deserve this fate. Make the right decision.”
Your brother is a coward and your sister in law is a cold, abusive A$$. I'f she is abusing the brother too, it could explain his silence. I'd track down some resources for getting him help with domestic abuse and then go to his place of work and talk to him after he is off shift.
What 5 year old needs a tablet then again I see it quite alot nowadays even with some of my friends they just give them a phone or Tablet to keep them quiet :(
It is a great gift. My grandchild have an outdoor playkitchen... and she loves it... - ipad... never in the whole is it healthy for a child to have one this young...
Did Op tell sil that brother said just to buy a toy and forget about the iPad? That'd be the first thing I say.
Maybe that's the reason he can't get in contact with his brother.
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I'd have laughed when the SIL first requested it and again when the hissy fit started at the party, and I'd have walked out with my gift. You want your kid to have an iPad - YOU buy it.
IPads and other electronics should be a parent's purchase, considering the amount of money and the mountain of responsibilities that go with them. Time to Google mud kitchen. It sounds fun.
It was a setup intended to either exact tribute or otherwise create friction and drive a wedge between her husband and his family. This is how some women own their men and try to control others. I have an extended family member in a similar relationship.
If an uncle was supposed to buy her an iPad, did the parents buy her a pony?
I too was curious about what present they got her.
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SIL is a total entitled Karen and AH. This dumb chick doesn’t understand respect is earned and not automatic because his brother is f*****g her! She’s in for a really rude awakening when this little Karen in the making becomes a teenager and adult. Now is the time for both parents to pull their heads out of their asses and teaching her how to behave and appreciate things for what they are. OP should just move on with his life and let those two live out their self absorbed lives.
Moving forward, a$25 generic gift card for tje child and equal for the mother. Go low contact but first let your brother know how disappointed you are in him as a father, brother and adult. And, absolutely let everyone know the full and true story. Plus, don't go back there.
When bro was like get whatever I would have thought dad was buying her the iPad. An in actuality mom was already telling kid uncle was buying it. Of course you know as soon as kid got it she would have ran off an ignored everyone blasting it full volume anyway. And then if she broke it I would assume uncle would have to pay the repairs. I'd go to a second hand shop an find an early model an give her that. Being greedy means you get what you get. Bro will come around. At least he better before she screws the pool boy an turns kiddo into baby Karen expecting to get whatever she wants from anyone.
I remember that age many years ago my aunt dared to buy me a shirt and my brother a toy for Christmas. I had a tantrum and I’m very sure I hurt her feelings at the time. It’s been over 30 years and I still cringe when I think of how much of a spoiled s**t I was acting. I have a feeling this child will have the same epiphany years later we can only hope.
I am sorry but everyone that is saying the wife is the one who wanted the IPad, yall are so wrong. If that was the case the little girl wouldn't been upset. I'm sure mom have one and the daughter asked for one of her own. Mom probably told her she was going to have her uncle get one for her birthday. That little girl is 5 all about her screaming at the uncle about not buying what she wants is crazy. You will be surprised about entitle kids, I seen a lot and trust me they don't change their ways especially if they are getting it from a parent.
I am very curious what present the parents got their daughter for her birthday. It would put things more in perspective and maybe show some insight into their motives.
Brothers a d**k for throwing out a good relationship with his sibling because his wife's a raging b****. Wife's a raging b****, and should not only not get an apology, but get an emotional backhand across the ego. That poor kid. Being raised so badly by such a heinous narcissist. I feel bad for the adult she might become. I feel sorry for the op too. To be tossed aside for someone else clearly in the wrong, guy probably trusted him. What a way to burn your bridges - hope the brother is happy with his choice to be controlled.
the niece and the SIL sound like two peas in a pod. Spoiled brats.
I would love that gift, and, as much as I would still want an iPad I'd be glad that I even got a gift that expensive anyway for a child, so OP is far from TA
WTH just happened here? If I were at that party and seen this go down, I would have had. A private conversation with the SIL about how inappropriate this is. 1. You do not tell a little girl what her gift is and who is bringing it. 2. Uncle never confirmed that he was bringing it. 3. Do not ask others for expensive gifts ( With the exception of a baby shower and someone says they are willing to) 4. So.e people feel uncomfortable buying a child an iPad. 5. She is teaching her child to be disrespect and ungrateful. 6. SIL is flat out rude!!!
This is one of America's biggest problems today, entitled people thinking they should get what they want by just demanding it. You see it every day in the news as they are kicked off airplanes and out of restaurants or wherever for their antics. This guy is better off, not having to deal with his brother's entitled wife and kid again.
Would OP have given an iPad if his brother had asked? How did OP respond when SIL asked for an iPad? Did OP tell SIL that he wasn't going to give an iPad to the 5-year-old niece? Entitlement, yes. But it appears that the family issues go deeper and beyond a birthday gift. This reads like an episode taken from a soap opera.
Wow! My granddaughter didn't get an iPad until she hit 12 yrs. Her younger sister got an Amazon Fire kids tablet in a rugged surround (thank god) that does the job well, at 7 yrs old.
No, don't feel bad. They sound like entitled brats ! It's your brothers fault and the mom is teaching her daughter to be entitled too. They are so ungrateful! Any gift should do, it's the thought that counts.
Some Mothers are incredibly manipulative. Yout SIL was trying to push a parental level gift off on you. FYI You do not give a five year old an iPad. They are easily broken. Instead a far cheaper and both better protected and more child friendly features is available from Amazon. I would text your brother and tell him that was an AH move. HE is the one who told you any toy twice! Just let this go because your job is not to make his wife happy...his is. Tell him you were apalled at the behavior of his wife and child. He better think if he wants to have to keep these two in the style they would like to become accustomed to and deal with their embarassing outbursts. I would ask for it back and donate it to a woman's shelter for a kid who has had their whole life turned over and would enjoy getting to play with it. It is good sturdy toy. I would ignore all of them.
ESH. Yes the mother is Entitled and narcissistic for telling the kid what the present was "going" to be, BUT - Your friend who suggested that a girl would do well learning the skill of cooking AND cleaning (mud kitchens aren't just simple toy stoves or easy bake ovens for cooking, they have sinks for cleaning), needs to also be shot.
I don't know what a mud kitchen is but I want one. Unfortunately, I think to op might have to chalk up his brother as a loss until he stands up to the wife. If he really wanted to talk to the Op he would have made contact by now.
If I'd been there, I would have gone up to the brother and told him, very loudly, "sounds like you have a big spoiled brat on your hands. And I'm not talking about the kid". I bet the kid doesn't even really understand what a tablet is. This b***h needs to be divorced and lost. I hope the brother can stop being a doormat and get out of the grasp of this abusive relationship. And take the kid with.
Now my nephew had an IPad and IPhone at 3. His parents brought it though. They would never asked nobody else to buy it. But my sister been fighting 1 cancer after another. They used his blood core to help her beat ovarian cancer. To her he saved his mom's life. But even though they buy the stuff they still raise him to be humble. He skipped pre-k and went straight to kindergarten. At age 7 he started up an awareness for Autism in kids. His dad knows a lot of the Steelers so he connected with them. He did this when he seen some kids try to bully his little cousin. He met Kirk Franklin and donated money to his charity. (My nephew models). He has so many awards with school and won an award that most men don't win until they are in they 50's. He meets kids with cancer and gets to know them and friends with them. He met this young boy who was fighting with cancer told him about God the little boy asked to be saved. He handed him a kids book about God. When the little boy pass away his mom
Called my sister up thanking her my BIL and nephew for all my nephew done for her son. My nephew is 13 he threw a birthday party and gave gifts away to all the kids and adults. He don't expect anything from people, he gives. This little girl takes just like her mother. It's how she's being raised I guess. But her parents should be buying the IPads. If they can't afford it don't expect it from someone else.
Load More Replies... I am not buying my own kids no IPhone nor IPad. If they want expensive stuff like that, than get a job and buy it yourself.
An outdoor kitchen that is sized for children. It comes with a fake stove, oven, knobs that twist, storage cabinets for pots and pans, drawers, and a sink you attack a outdoor hose to.
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This has the nuances of made up bullstuff and I feel like I'm thinking clearly but just in case, It's an ipad. For a 5 year old. Not even a generic Android tablet but an ipad. Hell why didn't they just ask you to buy her her first car and make it a big beamer SUV for her 5th bday. It would make as much sense
Me thinks it's like the bowling husband who gifts his wife a bowling ball when she loathes bowling, suddenly the neice would have been too immature to use it ' so I will until she is'
On one hand this has a few logic holes (niece not noticing size difference, calling a birthday an anniversary, etc), I also 100% believe it to be possible for someone to act like that.
Dads don't throw kids birthday parties, they don't send the invites, or buy the gifts, wrap the gifts, make the cake, put up decorations.. if some mommas can back me up? When you really think about it, when your kid gets invited to another kids birthday party, what do u do? You call that kids mom and ask what gift to bring. So if the mom says ipad then bring the ipad. Plus that kitchen prolly cost equal or more, so obviously he could afford it.
Seen similar scenarios. Dad is there for the kids. Mom is there for mom, the kids are there as an accessory and a way of keeping dad leashed. Best to use a third party as buffer until the divorce, then be there for bro and the kids because it's going to be a bumpy ride and he will need all the support he can get. Well, unless mom gets 2 to 5 then no problem.
Dude, you did NOTHING wrong. Your SIL sounds like an Uber, magnificent, ultra, mega B***H, and your brother seems like he's pussy whipped for agreeing to go with it. I know the commandment is "Thou shalt not argue with the provider of the nookie", but I'm pretty damn sure the bro code is legit "Bros before hoes"...so your brother is also a B***H! And your niece??? Spoiled a*s rotten because "Lord" freaking knows you can't punish crotch goblins anymore and everyone is too damn lazy to teach kids ANYTHING. So...birth control for EVERYONE!! NO ONE needs to be having any more semen demons. They want their kid to have a damn Ipad, THEY can buy it. I'm sorry you have to go through such an ungrateful personal ordeal. And this is why I'm yeeting EVERYONE into the sun. Humans suck a*s.
As a former PreK teacher, when kids came to my class with tablets, I put them in the closet. Kids and parents threw tantrums. I said that they distract from learning at this age. When parents insisted, I told them that even in Big School, as my kids called it, they will not be allowed to keep them. I feel sorry for both brothers because I saw this a lot with this age group.
I need to know...what did the parents buy for their kid? Did them and most others buy her toys but expected you to fork out a few hundred dollars for a freaking iPad? NTA... Idk who tf would spend that much on an iPad for a 5 yr old. That is just ridiculous. And the fact that she told her daughter to expect one from you just shows what a terrible person she is.
Sçrew the craźƴ sil and brother and selfish entitled child. If brother won't stand up to his "c u Next Tuesday" of a wife, the best thing is to accept the shunning and if they try to get back on your good side, don't even respond ṭcalls / texts. Better off without that dysfunctional group
I seriously hope you took your gift back. I would've just snatched it and calmly walked out. SIL would've been standing there yelling at herself because you don't argue with fools!!! Also I would've not even bothered to call my brother since he allowed that behavior and didn't stop it. Life's entirely too short to deal with toxic people just cut them completely out of your life and keep living it in peace never look back
No kid NEEDS an iPad. I didn't have one growing up. I had napkins, placemats & pens. Mommy shouldn't have promised her daughter a $400 gift from Uncle. They're the A-holes.
I loved those mud kitchens growing up! At the time, they were made of metal, complete with a stove, sink (with a working faucet!) and cabinets. There's also pots and pans and dishes to make meals just like mommy! These days, they're made of more durable plastic, but no less fun (thanks, little tykes)! And while the set runs $200-300, they encourage imagination as well as skills in getting around a kitchen. iPads, on the other hand, runs at least $400+, and that's with what comes in the box (travel adapter, charging cable, SIM card); extras like iPods cost more! All it takes to wreck it is a drop to the floor, or some liquid to hit it; then you have to get it fixed or a whole new one, and no one has that kind of money to spend on it!
Your a good guy, it sucks to have a heart, because we hurt when heartless selfish ungrateful insensitive sneaky ppl act the way they do, we always want to make everyone happy and we give ourselves the blame when they don't get their way, f ur narcissist sil, + i know all to well how u feel , take it from someone in ur shoes she controls everything ur brother does, and he allows it or he will have to live w her useless threats , probably u will never see ur daughter, i will take every penny , i will lie and tell ppl bad things ECT.. ECT..it's not his fault for not having balls just like someone I know,, stay away from them ur better off and ppl like ur SIL will never call u or allow ur brother to call u unless they need to use u for something else believe me..ur better off w ppl that really live and respect you..stay away from toxicity, it's hard for us w hearts but be strong
Do other countries say anniversaries instead of birthdays? Nvm I scrolled down 😂
It sounds like your sister in law is a petty entitled Karen! And what 5 year old needs a $800 dollar fragile toy? None! This woman goaded the child to be an ungrateful petty child just like she is! I'd tell her to stick the mud kitchen where the sun don't shine! And rotate on it. My brother said anything I'd beat him senseless!
If you look at the OP's post history you'll see this is some sort of advertisement and likely AI written
A childless single bloke asking for advice instead of grabbing a random gift makes sense, so he's not at fault, imo. iPads are so expensive and not suitable for such a young kid.
Load More Replies... While his brother does seem like a potential AH, this has the scent of abusive relationship all over it.
Sure does. I hope this guy keeps the lines of communication open with his brother.
Load More Replies... Even my niece who is ten and fairly responsible lost her fake Apple Pencil in her bedroom somewhere. My godson loves drawing on my iPad, and he is 5, there’s no way I’d let him near it unsupervised! I don’t understand why someone would ask for such an expensive, fragile gift.
Dam. My nieces and nephews would have loved a mud kitchen when they were little.
I had to look up what it was and now I want one ( and I'm 41 lol).
Load More Replies... This would be the last gift I ever buy any of them and the last time I would ever be in that house.
I've a few questions. How does people don't feel ashamed to ask for expensive gifts ? Who and why give ipad to kids ?
People who aren't ashamed of asking for expensive gifts are either A) Extremely close to the gift giver and might be asking as a joke (obviously not the case here) or B) Is an entitled narcissist who thinks the world owes them their souls and then some. I think this is is the case, since she threw such a tantrum. (The mother, not the child) She was shocked someone dared to not get on their knees and lick her heels, so much so it sent her into a fit of confusion and rage. As for who and why someone would gift a kid an ipad - Either a parent who is lucky enough to have a responsible gentle child, or yet another rich ahole who takes money for granted.
Load More Replies... All of this is bad but nobody is addressing the fact that this woman told her daughter what she was getting for her birthday. Who does that? You find out what they want but you don't tell them they're definitely going to get it. Gifts are supposed to be a surprise. Where's the fun and surprise in that? What a s**t mom.
Should have told the kid that Mommy lied to her, why did your mommy lie? Because I never said I was getting you that thing, why did she lie to you and say I was?
He is correct! You should have put it over on the entitled Karen of a mother! This whole thing was 100% her fault! Not any one else's! That's crazy to ask for this for a child that is a 5 year old! The parents should provide stuff like that for the child if they think they should have it not the aunt or uncle!
Load More Replies... Totally NTA. Sounds like SIL was just using OP to buy an ipad for his niece. SIL is acting like an entitled POS and she's teaching her kid to be an ungrateful brat. His brother is also to blame here. He didn't have the balls to speak up.
I have an older brother who is a cowardly scum bag! And a turd.
Load More Replies... Yes SIL's parents are probably not very good at bringing up children.
Load More Replies... I think the brother is in an abusive relationship. I think if he wants to be able to talk to his brother he should try and contact him via third party like work or a friend.
Lately it seems like a lot of these stories read like they're written by a bot or AI. "5th Anniversary"? I've never hear that expression used to describe a child's birthday before. and an iPad? Would someone really expect an uncle to pay hundreds if not thousands of dollars for a 5 year old's gift (have you seen the prices of Apple iPads lately)? Some of these stories sound very made up...
A lot of other languages use the term 'anniversary' to mean what we know as 'birthday' in English. French being one of them
Load More Replies... Your brothers wife has his ballz in her purse. The wife is a witch. I would have snapped on the whole damn lot of them and took back my present and got a refund. And that would be the last gift any of them got from me. Tell them to kick rocks and tell your brother to grow a pair. Yep, im that pety.
The fact she TOLD the KID she was getting one when the OP never agreed to it is rude to OP AND her kid.
Entitled Karen cries boo hoo because her ploy to get an iPad for herself failed? My parents never allowed me or my brother to have birthday parties. But my sister was horribly spoiled rotten by our father! Mine and my sister's birthday are two days apart! So you can imagine her having a big party with gifts. And two days later I get a card and the words Happy Birthday but your sister gets an entire brand new matching bedroom suit. My family so sucked s**t!
A simple letter to the brother’s place of work will suffice. “Dear bro, your wife is awful and a bully. Your daughter is being brought up in the same vein. You will lose your friends and family. You will die saad and alone, filled with regrets. Grow a pair or deserve this fate. Make the right decision.”
Your brother is a coward and your sister in law is a cold, abusive A$$. I'f she is abusing the brother too, it could explain his silence. I'd track down some resources for getting him help with domestic abuse and then go to his place of work and talk to him after he is off shift.
What 5 year old needs a tablet then again I see it quite alot nowadays even with some of my friends they just give them a phone or Tablet to keep them quiet :(
It is a great gift. My grandchild have an outdoor playkitchen... and she loves it... - ipad... never in the whole is it healthy for a child to have one this young...
Did Op tell sil that brother said just to buy a toy and forget about the iPad? That'd be the first thing I say.
Maybe that's the reason he can't get in contact with his brother.
Load More Replies... I'd have laughed when the SIL first requested it and again when the hissy fit started at the party, and I'd have walked out with my gift. You want your kid to have an iPad - YOU buy it.
IPads and other electronics should be a parent's purchase, considering the amount of money and the mountain of responsibilities that go with them. Time to Google mud kitchen. It sounds fun.
It was a setup intended to either exact tribute or otherwise create friction and drive a wedge between her husband and his family. This is how some women own their men and try to control others. I have an extended family member in a similar relationship.
If an uncle was supposed to buy her an iPad, did the parents buy her a pony?
I too was curious about what present they got her.
Load More Replies... SIL is a total entitled Karen and AH. This dumb chick doesn’t understand respect is earned and not automatic because his brother is f*****g her! She’s in for a really rude awakening when this little Karen in the making becomes a teenager and adult. Now is the time for both parents to pull their heads out of their asses and teaching her how to behave and appreciate things for what they are. OP should just move on with his life and let those two live out their self absorbed lives.
Moving forward, a$25 generic gift card for tje child and equal for the mother. Go low contact but first let your brother know how disappointed you are in him as a father, brother and adult. And, absolutely let everyone know the full and true story. Plus, don't go back there.
When bro was like get whatever I would have thought dad was buying her the iPad. An in actuality mom was already telling kid uncle was buying it. Of course you know as soon as kid got it she would have ran off an ignored everyone blasting it full volume anyway. And then if she broke it I would assume uncle would have to pay the repairs. I'd go to a second hand shop an find an early model an give her that. Being greedy means you get what you get. Bro will come around. At least he better before she screws the pool boy an turns kiddo into baby Karen expecting to get whatever she wants from anyone.
I remember that age many years ago my aunt dared to buy me a shirt and my brother a toy for Christmas. I had a tantrum and I’m very sure I hurt her feelings at the time. It’s been over 30 years and I still cringe when I think of how much of a spoiled s**t I was acting. I have a feeling this child will have the same epiphany years later we can only hope.
I am sorry but everyone that is saying the wife is the one who wanted the IPad, yall are so wrong. If that was the case the little girl wouldn't been upset. I'm sure mom have one and the daughter asked for one of her own. Mom probably told her she was going to have her uncle get one for her birthday. That little girl is 5 all about her screaming at the uncle about not buying what she wants is crazy. You will be surprised about entitle kids, I seen a lot and trust me they don't change their ways especially if they are getting it from a parent.
I am very curious what present the parents got their daughter for her birthday. It would put things more in perspective and maybe show some insight into their motives.
Brothers a d**k for throwing out a good relationship with his sibling because his wife's a raging b****. Wife's a raging b****, and should not only not get an apology, but get an emotional backhand across the ego. That poor kid. Being raised so badly by such a heinous narcissist. I feel bad for the adult she might become. I feel sorry for the op too. To be tossed aside for someone else clearly in the wrong, guy probably trusted him. What a way to burn your bridges - hope the brother is happy with his choice to be controlled.
the niece and the SIL sound like two peas in a pod. Spoiled brats.
I would love that gift, and, as much as I would still want an iPad I'd be glad that I even got a gift that expensive anyway for a child, so OP is far from TA
WTH just happened here? If I were at that party and seen this go down, I would have had. A private conversation with the SIL about how inappropriate this is. 1. You do not tell a little girl what her gift is and who is bringing it. 2. Uncle never confirmed that he was bringing it. 3. Do not ask others for expensive gifts ( With the exception of a baby shower and someone says they are willing to) 4. So.e people feel uncomfortable buying a child an iPad. 5. She is teaching her child to be disrespect and ungrateful. 6. SIL is flat out rude!!!
This is one of America's biggest problems today, entitled people thinking they should get what they want by just demanding it. You see it every day in the news as they are kicked off airplanes and out of restaurants or wherever for their antics. This guy is better off, not having to deal with his brother's entitled wife and kid again.
Would OP have given an iPad if his brother had asked? How did OP respond when SIL asked for an iPad? Did OP tell SIL that he wasn't going to give an iPad to the 5-year-old niece? Entitlement, yes. But it appears that the family issues go deeper and beyond a birthday gift. This reads like an episode taken from a soap opera.
Wow! My granddaughter didn't get an iPad until she hit 12 yrs. Her younger sister got an Amazon Fire kids tablet in a rugged surround (thank god) that does the job well, at 7 yrs old.
No, don't feel bad. They sound like entitled brats ! It's your brothers fault and the mom is teaching her daughter to be entitled too. They are so ungrateful! Any gift should do, it's the thought that counts.
Some Mothers are incredibly manipulative. Yout SIL was trying to push a parental level gift off on you. FYI You do not give a five year old an iPad. They are easily broken. Instead a far cheaper and both better protected and more child friendly features is available from Amazon. I would text your brother and tell him that was an AH move. HE is the one who told you any toy twice! Just let this go because your job is not to make his wife happy...his is. Tell him you were apalled at the behavior of his wife and child. He better think if he wants to have to keep these two in the style they would like to become accustomed to and deal with their embarassing outbursts. I would ask for it back and donate it to a woman's shelter for a kid who has had their whole life turned over and would enjoy getting to play with it. It is good sturdy toy. I would ignore all of them.
ESH. Yes the mother is Entitled and narcissistic for telling the kid what the present was "going" to be, BUT - Your friend who suggested that a girl would do well learning the skill of cooking AND cleaning (mud kitchens aren't just simple toy stoves or easy bake ovens for cooking, they have sinks for cleaning), needs to also be shot.
I don't know what a mud kitchen is but I want one. Unfortunately, I think to op might have to chalk up his brother as a loss until he stands up to the wife. If he really wanted to talk to the Op he would have made contact by now.
If I'd been there, I would have gone up to the brother and told him, very loudly, "sounds like you have a big spoiled brat on your hands. And I'm not talking about the kid". I bet the kid doesn't even really understand what a tablet is. This b***h needs to be divorced and lost. I hope the brother can stop being a doormat and get out of the grasp of this abusive relationship. And take the kid with.
Now my nephew had an IPad and IPhone at 3. His parents brought it though. They would never asked nobody else to buy it. But my sister been fighting 1 cancer after another. They used his blood core to help her beat ovarian cancer. To her he saved his mom's life. But even though they buy the stuff they still raise him to be humble. He skipped pre-k and went straight to kindergarten. At age 7 he started up an awareness for Autism in kids. His dad knows a lot of the Steelers so he connected with them. He did this when he seen some kids try to bully his little cousin. He met Kirk Franklin and donated money to his charity. (My nephew models). He has so many awards with school and won an award that most men don't win until they are in they 50's. He meets kids with cancer and gets to know them and friends with them. He met this young boy who was fighting with cancer told him about God the little boy asked to be saved. He handed him a kids book about God. When the little boy pass away his mom
Called my sister up thanking her my BIL and nephew for all my nephew done for her son. My nephew is 13 he threw a birthday party and gave gifts away to all the kids and adults. He don't expect anything from people, he gives. This little girl takes just like her mother. It's how she's being raised I guess. But her parents should be buying the IPads. If they can't afford it don't expect it from someone else.
Load More Replies... I am not buying my own kids no IPhone nor IPad. If they want expensive stuff like that, than get a job and buy it yourself.
An outdoor kitchen that is sized for children. It comes with a fake stove, oven, knobs that twist, storage cabinets for pots and pans, drawers, and a sink you attack a outdoor hose to.
Load More Replies... This has the nuances of made up bullstuff and I feel like I'm thinking clearly but just in case, It's an ipad. For a 5 year old. Not even a generic Android tablet but an ipad. Hell why didn't they just ask you to buy her her first car and make it a big beamer SUV for her 5th bday. It would make as much sense
Me thinks it's like the bowling husband who gifts his wife a bowling ball when she loathes bowling, suddenly the neice would have been too immature to use it ' so I will until she is'
On one hand this has a few logic holes (niece not noticing size difference, calling a birthday an anniversary, etc), I also 100% believe it to be possible for someone to act like that.
Dads don't throw kids birthday parties, they don't send the invites, or buy the gifts, wrap the gifts, make the cake, put up decorations.. if some mommas can back me up? When you really think about it, when your kid gets invited to another kids birthday party, what do u do? You call that kids mom and ask what gift to bring. So if the mom says ipad then bring the ipad. Plus that kitchen prolly cost equal or more, so obviously he could afford it.
Seen similar scenarios. Dad is there for the kids. Mom is there for mom, the kids are there as an accessory and a way of keeping dad leashed. Best to use a third party as buffer until the divorce, then be there for bro and the kids because it's going to be a bumpy ride and he will need all the support he can get. Well, unless mom gets 2 to 5 then no problem.
Dude, you did NOTHING wrong. Your SIL sounds like an Uber, magnificent, ultra, mega B***H, and your brother seems like he's pussy whipped for agreeing to go with it. I know the commandment is "Thou shalt not argue with the provider of the nookie", but I'm pretty damn sure the bro code is legit "Bros before hoes"...so your brother is also a B***H! And your niece??? Spoiled a*s rotten because "Lord" freaking knows you can't punish crotch goblins anymore and everyone is too damn lazy to teach kids ANYTHING. So...birth control for EVERYONE!! NO ONE needs to be having any more semen demons. They want their kid to have a damn Ipad, THEY can buy it. I'm sorry you have to go through such an ungrateful personal ordeal. And this is why I'm yeeting EVERYONE into the sun. Humans suck a*s.
As a former PreK teacher, when kids came to my class with tablets, I put them in the closet. Kids and parents threw tantrums. I said that they distract from learning at this age. When parents insisted, I told them that even in Big School, as my kids called it, they will not be allowed to keep them. I feel sorry for both brothers because I saw this a lot with this age group.
I need to know...what did the parents buy for their kid? Did them and most others buy her toys but expected you to fork out a few hundred dollars for a freaking iPad? NTA... Idk who tf would spend that much on an iPad for a 5 yr old. That is just ridiculous. And the fact that she told her daughter to expect one from you just shows what a terrible person she is.
Sçrew the craźƴ sil and brother and selfish entitled child. If brother won't stand up to his "c u Next Tuesday" of a wife, the best thing is to accept the shunning and if they try to get back on your good side, don't even respond ṭcalls / texts. Better off without that dysfunctional group
I seriously hope you took your gift back. I would've just snatched it and calmly walked out. SIL would've been standing there yelling at herself because you don't argue with fools!!! Also I would've not even bothered to call my brother since he allowed that behavior and didn't stop it. Life's entirely too short to deal with toxic people just cut them completely out of your life and keep living it in peace never look back
No kid NEEDS an iPad. I didn't have one growing up. I had napkins, placemats & pens. Mommy shouldn't have promised her daughter a $400 gift from Uncle. They're the A-holes.
I loved those mud kitchens growing up! At the time, they were made of metal, complete with a stove, sink (with a working faucet!) and cabinets. There's also pots and pans and dishes to make meals just like mommy! These days, they're made of more durable plastic, but no less fun (thanks, little tykes)! And while the set runs $200-300, they encourage imagination as well as skills in getting around a kitchen. iPads, on the other hand, runs at least $400+, and that's with what comes in the box (travel adapter, charging cable, SIM card); extras like iPods cost more! All it takes to wreck it is a drop to the floor, or some liquid to hit it; then you have to get it fixed or a whole new one, and no one has that kind of money to spend on it!
Your a good guy, it sucks to have a heart, because we hurt when heartless selfish ungrateful insensitive sneaky ppl act the way they do, we always want to make everyone happy and we give ourselves the blame when they don't get their way, f ur narcissist sil, + i know all to well how u feel , take it from someone in ur shoes she controls everything ur brother does, and he allows it or he will have to live w her useless threats , probably u will never see ur daughter, i will take every penny , i will lie and tell ppl bad things ECT.. ECT..it's not his fault for not having balls just like someone I know,, stay away from them ur better off and ppl like ur SIL will never call u or allow ur brother to call u unless they need to use u for something else believe me..ur better off w ppl that really live and respect you..stay away from toxicity, it's hard for us w hearts but be strong
Do other countries say anniversaries instead of birthdays? Nvm I scrolled down 😂
It sounds like your sister in law is a petty entitled Karen! And what 5 year old needs a $800 dollar fragile toy? None! This woman goaded the child to be an ungrateful petty child just like she is! I'd tell her to stick the mud kitchen where the sun don't shine! And rotate on it. My brother said anything I'd beat him senseless!
If you look at the OP's post history you'll see this is some sort of advertisement and likely AI written
A childless single bloke asking for advice instead of grabbing a random gift makes sense, so he's not at fault, imo. iPads are so expensive and not suitable for such a young kid.
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