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71 Y.O. Bride Accuses Granddaughter Of Upstaging Her, Internet Says She Needs A Reality Check
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71 Y.O. Bride Accuses Granddaughter Of Upstaging Her, Internet Says She Needs A Reality Check

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There are certain rules when it comes to attending weddings, don’t cause a scene, don’t upstage the bride, and so on. However, there are certain environmental factors that might end up making the later rule somewhat moot. Like the bride being 71 years old, for example.

A woman wondered if she was in the wrong for daring to wear a dress and makeup to her grandmother’s 5th wedding. While she acknowledged that she did put some effort into her look, she never expected that her grandmother would take such offense. Netizens shared their thoughts and confusion at Grandma’s entitlement.

Wedding-goers often have to keep some unwritten rules in mind

Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual image)

But one woman wondered if she was truly “wrong” for wearing makeup to her grandma’s wedding

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Image credits: anthropologie.com

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Image credits: Zinkevych_D (not the actual image)

Image credits: redthrowedding

Wedding etiquette has a lot of rules one has to keep in mind

OP’s story is interesting because it intersects with a number of unwritten rules. Some folks take wedding guest etiquette very literally, no white for anyone but the bride, etc, while others embrace the “spirit” of the law, that is, the concept that these rules exist to be respectful towards the happy couple.

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In the latter case, one could see the argument that OP was perhaps in the wrong. Her grandmother, despite four other occasions of feeling like she was the center of all attention, decided that her granddaughter’s look was upstaging her. This, at face value, is not exactly respectful.

However, there are a few assumptions we need to work through. While it’s true that some brides do feel like it’s their moment, this woman has been married four times already. She has more wedding photos than multiple generations of some families. Indeed, as an older bride, she most likely stands out a lot more than a bride would at a “regular” wedding.

Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual image)

An insecure person will find something to complain about

The next part might be somewhat delicate. At the end of the day, if OP was as radiant as the grandma claimed, she would probably have stolen the show, regardless of what she was wearing. While this is pure speculation, there is a decent chance that the grandmother simply suffers from acute and intense insecurity. Some people spend much of their lives insecure, while others develop it later, often from the effects of age.

Since OP was, perhaps, the best-looking person at the event, the grandmother naturally fixated on her appearance first. It’s also worth asking, just how unimportant was this woman’s wedding, that some photos would take up her time immediately after it. Perhaps this would also explain her ability to have five weddings (so far) over the course of her life.

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Image credits: Teona Swift (not the actual image)

Ultimately, the grandmother took something not that important too personally

Abraham Maslow, often best known for his pyramid of needs, described an insecure person as one who “perceives the world as a threatening jungle and most human beings as dangerous and selfish; feels like a rejected and isolated person, anxious and hostile; is generally pessimistic and unhappy; shows signs of tension and conflict, tends to turn inward; is troubled by guilt-feelings, has one or another disturbance of self-esteem; tends to be neurotic; and is generally selfish and egocentric.”

While we don’t know that much about the grandma, her visceral reaction to another person looking good at her wedding appears to be beyond neurotic and is downright selfish. While OP questioned herself about the choice of dress, it’s worth noting that there didn’t seem to be that strict of a dress code, and much was left up to interpretation.

The severity of the grandmother’s actions would also point to some level of insecurity or entitlement, as she wasn’t just annoyed but downright angry. This hardly seems like a rational response when it is your fifth wedding, but perhaps her reaction and the number of weddings all have something in common.

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Image credits: Los Muertos Crew (not the actual image)

Many netizens needed more information from OP

Many commenters thought the grandma was being ridiculous

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But a few sided with the grandmother

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hannahtaylor_2 avatar
DarkViolet
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Granny is jealous of her own granddaughter. Pitiful. I hope that if OP should get married, Granny will be told that in order to avoid being upstaged, she should remain at home, safe and secure. No sense in raising her blood pressure by the possibility of someone else looking more gorgeous than she.

jdtimid123 avatar
jdtimid123
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idk what those last few comments are talking about. That dress is almost casual. It's not exactly a prom dress 🙄 and yeah, definitely sounds like the sort of grandma I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to, especially with the "we know how she is" comments from other relatives. Sounds like she was going to be upset regardless. Also, the first round of make up doesn't sound like anything too crazy either. I think the previous wedding got in Grandma's head and she was going to be looking for any "slight" regardless of how op dressed. Even if she had worn a pant suit with no make up grandma would have been complaining that she was trying to stand out by not wearing a dress like most women do.

stephyg1980 avatar
Ms.GB
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They must be Amish...just borrowing the neighbors internet in secret

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keitho avatar
Darth Starfish
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, ok Gandma, we can take a break for a bit, a long bit. I'll show up to your funeral glammed up as well though, just to p**s your eternal soul off.

rdennis avatar
R Dennis
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not mad at this... If I make it to 70 (odds are not in my favor), I would just be happy to be alive and hopefully at a point in my life Idgaf about petty s**t. Oh wait, I'm already there!

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hannahtaylor_2 avatar
DarkViolet
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Granny is jealous of her own granddaughter. Pitiful. I hope that if OP should get married, Granny will be told that in order to avoid being upstaged, she should remain at home, safe and secure. No sense in raising her blood pressure by the possibility of someone else looking more gorgeous than she.

jdtimid123 avatar
jdtimid123
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Idk what those last few comments are talking about. That dress is almost casual. It's not exactly a prom dress 🙄 and yeah, definitely sounds like the sort of grandma I wouldn't go out of my way to talk to, especially with the "we know how she is" comments from other relatives. Sounds like she was going to be upset regardless. Also, the first round of make up doesn't sound like anything too crazy either. I think the previous wedding got in Grandma's head and she was going to be looking for any "slight" regardless of how op dressed. Even if she had worn a pant suit with no make up grandma would have been complaining that she was trying to stand out by not wearing a dress like most women do.

stephyg1980 avatar
Ms.GB
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They must be Amish...just borrowing the neighbors internet in secret

Load More Replies...
keitho avatar
Darth Starfish
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol, ok Gandma, we can take a break for a bit, a long bit. I'll show up to your funeral glammed up as well though, just to p**s your eternal soul off.

rdennis avatar
R Dennis
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not mad at this... If I make it to 70 (odds are not in my favor), I would just be happy to be alive and hopefully at a point in my life Idgaf about petty s**t. Oh wait, I'm already there!

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