“Turns Out It’s A Big Deal”: Guy About To Lose His Girlfriend Over New Tattoo

The phrase “your body, your choice” doesn’t only apply in the context of women’s reproductive rights. We are the owners of our bodies, so that should automatically mean that how we style it is our and our business only. Yet, sometimes people who are close to us might feel uncomfortable with our choices.

The hero of this story got flak from his girlfriend for getting an ankle tattoo without telling her. The Redditor Dingoatemycat69420 asked other netizens whether he was the jerk in this situation. The Internet deliberated and delivered a pretty unanimous opinion. You can find the entire story below!

Bored Panda asked the editor of Things & Ink Rosalie Hurr to weigh in. It’s a tattoo magazine that embraces tattoo culture and is for artists, collectors and those who are yet to go under the needle alike.

Rosalie was kind enough to share her opinion on whether a partner should have a say when a person wants to get a tattoo. Read her insights below!

More info: Things & Ink | Instagram

Body ink is a topic of contention – some people like it, others are against it

Image credits:  Lucas Lenzi (not the actual photo)

This man decided to get a tattoo, but his girlfriend’s reaction was not what he had anticipated

Image source: Dingoatemycat69420

Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)

The editor of the tattoo magazine “Things & Ink” Rosalie Hurr says: “Your body, your choice”

Back in 2014, Rosalie Hurr wrote a blog post about whether a partner should influence your decision to get a tattoo. “As the owner of my body, I would say no,” she wrote then. “But with much internet searching, I can sympathize with the partners who argue that it is partly their body as well.

They are the ones who will view your body especially as age affects your tattooed artwork, and they are the ones who we expect to love us as we grow old.”

However, today, Rosalie is adamant and says: “No. Your body, your choice. There’s the argument that they look at you and so have to look at the tattoo too. But you live in your body, it’s your home. You should be able to decorate it however you please.”

A lot has changed since she wrote that blog post. She has more tattoos, for example. “I’m also now married to the boyfriend I mentioned in that blog post. I have a tattoo under my boobs [as well] and he doesn’t care at all!”

There are some instances where a tattoo can be up for discussion, though. “Of course they may have a point if you’re getting something offensive, you’re getting tattooed while drunk (not something Things & Ink recommends) or you’re getting their name,” Rosalie observes.

“To help them come around to the tattoo, you might want to include them in the process – chat through your ideas, or find a tattoo artist together. They could even come with you, you never know – they may want to get a tattoo themselves,” the tattoo magazine editor suggests.

She says that the most important thing is to have an honest discussion. “What’s the real reason they don’t want you to get it? Are they hung up on old negative stereotypes, are they worried about tattoo regret, or is it a way to control you? Sometimes, not always, you might find the tattoo outlives the relationship. So you also need to be sure that you really want the tattoo,” Rosalie cautions as well.

Tattoos are taboo for some people since there’s still a stigma around them

Academic researchers Kristin A. Broussard and Helen C. Harton published a study in 2017 titled “Tattoo or taboo? Tattoo stigma and negative attitudes toward tattooed individuals.” While doing the research, they observed that people tend to perceive tattooed individuals negatively.

The academics did two studies, in fact. The participants in the first one were college students, and community members in the second. Their observations were that tattooed targets “were rated more negatively on other character attributes than the same target images with the tattoos removed.”

The upside is that people deemed tattooed persons “as stronger and more independent” than non-tattooed persons, especially women. Other research from 2004 also reiterates this finding: society sees tattooed women as less passive and more powerful. Broussard and Harton conclude that despite their popularity, tattoos and tattooed people remain stigmatized.

Tattoos are associated with deviance, attention-seeking and recklessness

In many people’s minds, body art is still associated with prison, gangs, crime and drug addicts. Or, in other words – deviance. Clinical psychologist Vinita Mehta, Ph.D. writes for Psychology Today that some of these stereotypes of tattooed people include “lower levels of inhibition, competence, and sociability, and higher levels of promiscuity.”

The actual reasons why people get tattoos are rarely that dark. Psychologist Luzelle Naudé of the University of the Free State in South Africa interviewed college seniors about why they got a tattoo. 25% of the participants said they got a tattoo because it had a personal meaning. 12% viewed it as an expression of their personality.

However, Naudé’s study also has insights about why some people are against tattoos. 11% of the participants in her interviews said it clashes with their religious views. “I am a religious person so my body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. I’d like to keep clean,” one college senior commented.

Other reasons include the fact that tattoos are permanent and are painful to get. Those who viewed tattoos negatively referred to them as “ugly, trashy, messy, cheap and filthy.”
And they described tattooed people accordingly: “evil, satanic, dangerous, rebellious, ungodly, stupid, reckless, unprofessional, weird, not-Christian, associated with criminality, cruel, showoffs, outcasts, anti-social, bereft of morals, and defiant of society.”

The OP explained why he asked for his parents’ permission

Commenters delivered their verdict – NTA

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