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30 Comics That Explain And Show What It’s Really Like To Change Your Gender, According To Transgender Comic Artist Julia Kaye
At 32, cartoonist Julia Kaye lives in Los Angeles, where she works for Disney TVA. But, much more than just that, she is also a brave transgender woman who, like most people who have gone through gender transition, had to face her fears and the prejudice of others in order to become who she is today. Julia’s experiences and gender transition are illustrated within her 3-panel comics that she frequently shares with her followers on her social media platforms.
Published on the cartoonist's Instagram, the said illustrations are a way to show and highlight the problems faced by those going through gender transition. However, it’s not only that—Kaye’s comics also serve as support for those who might be in a similar situation too.
Today we’d like to feature 50 of the newer comics; however, the rest of them can be found collected in book format in "Super Late Bloomer: My Life In Transition," which Julia released.
More info: Instagram | twitter.com
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Carmen Sandiego 4 years ago
She looks awesome! Your dress tastes change over time- whatever your gender is- anyway!
Valisbourne Spiritforge 4 years ago
That's a life lesson everyone should learn. If you like something, nothing else matters. I'm a big burly looking older guy. I love cute stuff. Most of my life I didn't share/show that for some reason. Now? Who cares, if I like it, I like it.
Ursula 4 years ago
You know NOTHING about patriarchy and the damage it does in a girl's life, as you grew up as a man, with all the added benefits and priviledge. You can do whatever you want with your body, identify as whatever, I don't care, but not this. You were part of the patriarchy not so long ago and you will never be a real woman, because you've never been through all the s**t we go through just for being born as a woman. Trauma, sexual harassment coming from MEN influence a lot how we dress, so no, you know absolutely nothing, you're just playing dress-up, because this is all a princess game to you. And no, women don't dress to play into "patriarchal validation", it's something you will never understand, because you just can't.
Sordatos Cáceres 4 years ago
Must be f****d up to be constantly wondering why you dress certain way
Ursula 4 years ago
Apparently this is what being a woman is all about: dressing up, being a princess, people calling you a woman, getting offended by everything (not the actual important stuff though, those don't matter, such as child brides, women earning less, doing all the housework and not having rights in some parts of the world, sexual agression, being forced into feminine careers by schools, etc.) - all according to a man, who is taking hormones and is now a trans woman after he grew up with male priviledge and experieced none of the things a woman goes through during childhood and puberty.
Load More Replies...Bored Panda reached out to Kaye.
“As for how autobio comics came into my life and what inspired the 2 series:
Honestly, I've never been any good at keeping a traditional written journal and comics have always been a huge part of my life. So when I started my gender transition, it just made a weird sort of sense to turn to making journal comics to help me navigate the constant barrage of highs and lows in my life. Making them each day became art therapy for me—my sketchbook was a place I could be fully honest with myself about how I felt, something I used to greatly struggle with."
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#2
Sky Render 4 years ago
Kids always take this sort of thing better. When a parent doesn't want their kids to know you're transgender, it's because of the parent, not because of the kids.
Lila Launehase 4 years ago
Kids understand soo much and are sooo much more easy going than many adults...
#3
"Originally, I never had any intent to share them with anybody but my closest friends, to hopefully help them understand what I was going through. But as time went on, I realized that by sharing them with the public, I could possibly help other people who are trans hopefully feel seen and thus feel less isolated in their own experiences, as well as help cis allies better understand the sort of things we go through. That first series eventually became collected in the book 'Super Late Bloomer: My Life In Transition.'"
#4
Carmen Sandiego 4 years ago (edited)
Yeah! You don't need to look a certain way to be a certain gender (and be called by your correct pronouns)
Sordatos Cáceres 4 years ago
I mean there is difference between misgendering ut of malice and other simply ppl getting it wrong
Sky Render 4 years ago
Dysphoria, the joy of any transgender individual! It really is hard to put all that aside and just be happy knowing that you know yourself.
Michael Beswick 4 years ago
People are hardwired to interpret gender based on physical characteristics, so when someone "misgenders" it's usually because their primal recognition kicks in which is hard to ignore. Such a situation can creates a huge mental conflict in someone that isn't accustomed to it. It takes willingness and experience to overcome this.
Potato 4 years ago
Or you could stop assuming? I promote the trend of leaving out pronouns altogether when able, when you're not sure. A person is a person.
Load More Replies... #5
Sky Render 4 years ago
That is the worst! I try to remind myself that society defaults to masculine pronouns for basically everything, but come on.
Suzy the observer 4 years ago
I'm a cisgender woman. As a child, my mom did not want to bother with my hair and kept them short so I often was called a boy and referred to as he. It pissed me off furiously. So on an extremely small level, I get it. But please tell me, If you look like a woman, why do people misgender you? I'm sincerely trying to understand what it's like for you.
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L.j. Bus 4 years ago
To be honest, sometimes they even call me sir when I clearly have all the lady parts and always have. If it truly is just occasional then just don’t take it “personally”, sounds bad when I say it like that but I mean that on occasion the other person really is clueless, and no hair-do is long enough, no hips or breasts large enough, that sort of thing. I do feel for anyone going through this though, as a female born in a female body, I will never feel the weight of some things you’re forced to go through. Just wanted to soften it up a bit by saying it could still happen when born in the right body instead of transitioning. But of course, it is only understandable that it bears so much weight while transitioning or after. Big hugs to all who can use them!
Sky Render 4 years ago
Misgendering isn't a big deal when it's an accident and the person who does it apologizes. I'd expect someone to apologize for it whether the person misgendered was cisgender or transgender. It's just plain rude to brush something like that off!
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Truth Monster 4 years ago
I'm a polite person, and I would apologize, but in this case he doesn't owe her an apology. He was mistaken, she corrected him (which, one could argue was rude) and he opened the door for her. Is she required to thank him?
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Robert Bois le Duc 4 years ago
But at least he helped with the door. He's trying to understand. A hater would have ignored the situation & turned their back.
Scagsy 4 years ago
I am really sorry that it hurts when this happens. I have a similar anecdote from an alternative perspective: I misgendered a bus driver a few years ago. She had short hair and was stockily built. I barely glanced at her as I was getting off the bus and so I only got a fleeting impression of her. I said 'Thanks, mate' and she said 'You're welcome'. As she was saying that I realised my error and felt immediately really bad for it. The problem was that I was so overcome with embarrassment that I couldn't bring myself to speak again. I hope I didn't upset her, it was simply an honest mistake. It's probably just me but I carried this guilt with me for weeks, regularly beating myself up for it. It still feels awkward when I think of it now. So, am I the a**hole?
"A couple of years later, when I was 3 years into my transition, I realized the landscape of my life was radically different than it used to be. I found myself feeling the pull to go back and make a second series to help navigate what my life had become. This time, to help show that life keeps moving on past that fraught, anxiety-ridden first year of transition and settles down. To show that as your gender dysphoria lessens, you have so much more capacity to truly live your life as yourself. It's a side of transition that isn't talked about enough. So I started making daily comics for 6 months, for better or worse, no matter what. Eventually, the second series was collected and published earlier this past year as 'My Life In Transition: A Super Late Bloomer Collection.'"
#6
Sky Render 4 years ago
I take it you've never seen someone misgender a friend. It hurts for the person who gets misgendered, and it hurts even more when getting misgendered is the rule rather than the exception.
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Samantha Rieth 4 years ago
They are crying because someone articulated that they care yet while feeling embarrassed that they are now crying (I speak from experience, Thanks Julia!)
the Me_greatest 4 years ago
Worst misgensering I had. I knew a F2M person. I haven’t seen them for a long time, the last time I saw them was when they were female. I was walking down the hall and they came out of a classroom. I said oh hi he said oh I go by now.
#7
crazy_cat_notAlady 4 years ago
hey, truth monster, cant comment on ur post...but I think I understand what u r asking there. each of us has unique and different meaning making systems. it need not mean that life is planned. but sometimes, assigning meaning to events does help us move forward. much like what Viktor Frankl said in Man's Search for Meaning.
#8
Sky Render 4 years ago
After 30 years of denying all emotions, I welcome those moments when I can't help but feel all the things. And yes, the boobs do rule.
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Honestly I find boobs awful. They get in the way of everything, they don't fit in clothing well and hurt my back.
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#9
Toko Danganronpa 4 years ago
It's hard not to be afraid of change, but change can make you so much happier.
Daria B 4 years ago
True. I think, for most cases, it's not really the change that we're afraid of. It's the process to reach that change.
Load More Replies... #10
Sky Render 4 years ago
Bloody hell I can relate to that one... I don't think I could ever have even come back from where I hid from myself without my fiance there to help me...
#11
Sky Render 4 years ago
Ran into this with my own older brother and his wife. They'd rather deny their transphobia than confront it, and have basically thrown me entirely from their lives. Why do so many decide that they would rather hate than love?
L.j. Bus 4 years ago
So sorry you had to deal with that. I get that it’s weird and it takes some time to adjust (had a transgender friend before) but transitioning or being transgender (is that the polite/correct term btw?) should Never be the reason to behave badly towards someone like that. No wonder it’s a hard thing to do. If it’s any consolation, lots of families just don’t work. Your coming out has merely been a katalyst. If not that, there would have come some other thing to cut someone (partially) out of their lives. Don’t ever think it’s as black and white as your gender. I almost feel like apologizing for your brother’s and his wife’s lack of empathy towards you being a human being with feelings and all 😔
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Lizzy innit 4 years ago
Awwww don’t be sad come to my house for the holidays! We are gonna put a sign with ‘no transphobic people allowed’
Carmen Sandiego 4 years ago
I help running an orphanage, if she wants to stay near (well behaved) children, she is most welcome!
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Brian bell 4 years ago
As painful as some of these are, they induce real empathy, which is exactly what is necessary to generate allies and induce pro-social change. Good for the artist... this is really important work Julia. Thank you.
Rukkia 4 years ago
I have never understood how families could do this to their children. It is just so hurtful and damaging. To anyone who has gone through this, no matter what anyone says, it is not about you. It is about their fear and ignorance. You are doing wonderfully and deserve to be loved and respected as you are.
Debbie Burton 4 years ago
That 'I love all my children equally' s**t..... it's a bloody cop-out!!
#12
#13
Samantha Lomb 4 years ago
Honestly with dementia she probably doesn't even remember you. My grandma has dementia and she is now starting to forget my grandfather whom she has been married to for over 50 years. And she ws asking for her parents who have been dead for 30
Adriaan Verhelle 4 years ago
Just call your grandma. You do not need permission from anyone to do that.
Liam's mom 4 years ago
If I were Julia's grandma, I'd rather know Julia and forget her each time (because of dementia) than not know (of) her at all.
AzKhaleesi 4 years ago
ummm if grandma had dementia than it's probably that she wouldn't have remembered the "grandson" so I would've just been like grandma it's me your grand daughter, and replaced every "boy" memory with a girl one. *drop mic
Nicole Holt 4 years ago
The thing about people with dementia: You can walk in however you are. They won't judge/care. And sometimes they don't remember who you were before, or who you are now, or who you will be tomorrow. Just go and give them love. Life is hard for them, too, in this situation. I'm dealing with dementia in the family right now.
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 4 years ago
Dont ask anyone if you're ready to come out. That's your choice when you feel ready and people shouldn't pressure you into coming out when you arent ready or preventing you from coming out when you are. It's your choice when you're comfortable.
Samantha Rieth 4 years ago
When I came out of the closet I was asked by my brother if I had told our father who passed on a few months earlier and accused me of having killed our father with this. (I had not told my dad.)
#14
Emma Byrne 4 years ago
Nor would I, but that's mostly because I only have one pair of boots and no-one in their right mind would want to borrow them.
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Andy Acceber 4 years ago
My wife and I wear the same size shoe. It's great. We each have our own frequent shoes, but there are also several pairs we share. This is especially true of special occasion shoes like snow boots and slippers.
#15
Daria B 4 years ago (edited)
In my case, although I'm a heterosexual binary woman, I'm more comfortable expressing admiration towards women/girls I find attractive rather than men/boys. Boys, okay, but men a bit less. Still not a huge problem, though, and I believe this is more of a socially conditioned thing. Subconsciously, I might fear my compliment to be inappropriate, or that the other people might over react. For the same reason, less problem saying a celebrity is cute, rather than the person standing there before me.
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Hobbes Maxwell 4 years ago
I was always attracted to women, but since I started transitioning, I realized I'd been repressing all sorts of thoughts and feelings, bi/pan-sexuality being one of them. So yes, can confirm. boys ARE cute!
#17
Dark Pearl 4 years ago
Heather, being trans doesn't mean your sexuality is defined by what sex you were BORN as.
coraline 4 years ago
if you are a man, but you decide to relate as a woman who dates women, you are a LESBIAN
EyeYamStewPeed 3 years ago
Nobody forces lesbians to have sex with women who have male genitals. It's a choice they can make if they like the person with the male genitals. Or they could not have sex - relationships aren't about that. Also, I thought attraction was about personality as well as physical appearance - but apparently to you what's in your pants is all that matters - slightly concerning. Overall, I just don't like that you're being a TERF - exclusion in any way is horrible. Just because you don't understand other people who you have no experience with doesn't mean you can discriminate against them.
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Lune 4 years ago
If you are a trans women and your a lesbian, that means your a lesbian, not straight. trans WOMEN. Identifying as a women means you are a women.
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#18
L.j. Bus 4 years ago (edited)
How many surgeries does it take? I thought it was just the two obvious areas 😅🙈 (genuinely curious)
Chaotic-Pansexual (she/they) 4 years ago
Well as far as surgeries go, many trans people do get the two main areas done, but a lot who can afford it also receive cosmetic surgery to feminize or masculinize their faces in order to feel even more comfortable with their appearance. But there’s no specific amount, a person can get as many or as few (if any at all) surgeries as they want and the amount doesn’t make them more or less trans, it’s all about what they can afford and what makes them comfortable. :) hope that helps
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#19
#20
Sky Render 4 years ago
Definitely looking forward to that! I miss being able to wear my hair back. Though hairbands are nice...
L.j. Bus 4 years ago
Oh is that a thing? Didn’t think bone-structure would change. Well, not without surgery. It is a massive thing, transitioning. All those people thinking people transitioning opare just attention seekers ought to have schooling on what it all entails. Every little detail!
Andy Acceber 4 years ago
It is a surgery, but it's pretty common for trans women who can afford it.
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#22
Steffen Rehm 4 years ago
I fell attacked. But yeah, i know more then i would accept to know, of this type of men.
#24
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 4 years ago
We had a very slight smell of gas coming from our regulator going into the house. Called the gas and a guy came out and fixed it within 30 mins. Wow. I was totally amazed. As it was their end, didn't cost me a cent.
#25
Sky Render 4 years ago
Disrespecting the dead is not cool. And yet it happens to transgender people more than anyone else.
L.j. Bus 4 years ago
Yes it is baffling how pretentious some can get. It seems no-one can be certain enough without having a will made (don’t know how it’s called exactly)
Load More Replies... Samantha Rieth 4 years ago
I'm the youngest of five and so happy to be in decent health so that I can out live them. My children will burry me properly.
Vincent Van Bro 3 years ago
This is why I wanna be cremated, because bro I don’t want someone to call me a woman based off my friggin bone structure
abby smink 4 years ago
There was a whole YouTube video about this by...I forget her name. She's a mortician with her own channel. I'm sure that's supremely unhelpful. lol
#26
Casey 4 years ago
I've lived this. I'm living it now. I met The Love Of My Life 5½ years ago. The only problem was that I'm not The Love Of His Life.
Cathelijne Van 4 years ago
Then he is not the love of your life... Please find out why you would think that. And keep in mind there is not one love of your life walking around, but many!! Maybe you think you are not worth to be loved and loving him confirms that?
Load More Replies... #27
Carmen Sandiego 4 years ago
And if you feel like you can't, just remember that there are people who support you and can help!
L.j. Bus 4 years ago
If your journey seems long or hard, just remember all you’ve overcome. You’ve survived them all. Often enough thinking you’ve reached your limit. Instead you’ve overcome those limitations. You will persevere. Just keep on trying. Or like they say in certain sports (and healthcare): just keep getting back up. You got this!
#29
#30
Emma Byrne 4 years ago
Buddy, lovely, mate, pal, sweet, all are gender neutral. To my mind, but I'm agender so maybe it's easier for me?
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#31
#32
Sky Render 4 years ago
Agh, I hate facial hair so much... No matter how thoroughly I shave it off, it always feels like I missed basically all of it.
L.j. Bus 4 years ago (edited)
I feel for you and others in that position, it sucks. I remember from my diabetic transgender friend she couldn’t take those meds that would soften her voice and reduce the facial hair. That must be aweful. If you want a longer lasting result, epilating is the way to go. For me the slowly increasing the epilating (with some tweezers) helped. Keeping the skin thight helps too. You can always cut up wax strips in smaller bits, there is always the tattooing cremes that make your skin less sensitive. I’ve always had/have a female body but have lots of testosterone and I just take a pincet and a mirror. I do have an epilator for under my arms as well and that is definitely something to brace yourself for but just in case you’ve never tried it and just in case there is a tip in here useful to you or whomever reading this, it has been worth writing it down.
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#33
Emma Byrne 4 years ago
I'm agender. I have a more traditionally male brain but my assigned sex is female. Some might argue I'm a trans guy but I don't think so. I just don't conform to gender norms and never have. I think like a man and present as a woman. I've had some disphoria over the years and some euphoria, but it averages out that I'm just human and that's enough for me.
Emma Byrne 4 years ago
What I mean to say is, you do you. As long as you're comfortable wear it. Comfort is FAR more important than looks.
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#37
Dark Pearl 3 years ago
Somebody who leaves awful comments under posts of people living their truths, that's either a shitty person, a shitty person, or indeed, a shitty person
#39
#40
N G 4 years ago
Is it too forward to suggest adoption? The child has already been brought into the world - now they need someone loving and awesome to raise them.
L.j. Bus 4 years ago
Adoption would be great, there are kids enough! If it is even an option in her case. I have only heard romours and I truly hope I’m wrong but being gay and/or single is still often enough frowned upon. Let along “so shortly after transitioning” or something like that. I do hope I am very wrong though. A transitioning from fostering to adoption might be easier? No child should be without parents. Just one is better than none. And of course we do mean people worthy of the name parent
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VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 3 years ago
Surgery to get a uterus, thus making it possible for her to physically have a child (I think). She could also adopt if she wants :)
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#42
Brian bell 4 years ago
Yup. There is a time limit. It may not be an official one, and may be fairly flexible, but at one point... you can't keep making excuses for bad behavior.
#44
Sky Render 4 years ago
It's so true! Fundamentally I'm the same person, but at the same time, now I'm not putting on a show for the world pretending to be what I'm not. And that really does make a big difference in how I express myself!
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
That's great! You be you. Become who you truly want to be. I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines :).
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#46
Dark Pearl 4 years ago
You have to like some kind of animal. Even if you like boa bloody constrictors, it counts as being an animal person and I want to hug you.
#47
#48
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 4 years ago
My aunt had that and had to go to the emergency room, but after a week she was moved to a regular hospital room and a couple weeks later she was fine. You'll get through this :)
#49
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 4 years ago
I broke up with my ex over an argument. I really liked her and she really liked me, and I miss her a lot 😔
L.j. Bus 4 years ago
Aww, I hope you get through this part soon, however it may be moving forward. Anything is possible I guess. Hope the hurting stops soon. Or evolves in something else if no relationship is really for the best. Big hugs x
Load More Replies... #50
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 4 years ago
I have this problem. In in a relationship already with someone I really like but I like another girl. I have no idea what to do 😭
M Calad 4 years ago
I can give you a very good piece of advice my therapist gave me when I felt confused about a relationship I was in previously. It is this: take a paper. Now imagine how you would feel about yourself in 1 year or even in 5 years if you continued this relationship. Write down all that comes to your mind. Then imagine the same but without this person, just on your own. How do you see yourself? Write it down. Don't think, just write what comes to your mind. Then read and compare the answers. Which set of answers resonate more or seem more positive? This exercise can be done for any decision. We have the tendency to give too much focus to the short term future. But when we see beyond in time, we may get a different perspective. Do it for both persons you like. Your intuition may truly tell you what's best: if being in a relationship with one of those two persons you like, or just alone. If not, then time will show you what's best. May you be well ⭐
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What do you think ?
Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 4 years ago
I know being LGBTQ is hard, take it from me. But a lot of people are struggling with it as well, I'm with you and you are not alone :)
BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 4 years ago
I had no idea trans people had to go through so much. I want all you trans pandas to know that you all are so brave and I hope you are much happier being your true selves!
Caroline Overill 4 years ago
I was born female, I want to stay female, I am heterosexual. I am also 5ft 11, very overweight owing to depression and I get called sir in shops.
Carmen Sandiego 4 years ago
Check out the song "Scars to your beautiful" by Alessia Cara. Dunno why but this reminded me of it.
EyeYamStewPeed 3 years ago
Nope. You are being discriminatory towards the LGBTQ+ community and should perhaps shut the f**k up about topics you clearly know nothing about. Why would people pretend to be female just to have sex with lesbians? They go through intense social stigma, even more than most gay people. They even might get surgery to change their physical sex to match their gender - all to have sex with lesbians? What about transgender men, who were assigned female at birth? Do they want to have sex with gay men? I don't think your argument stands up very well, I don't think you're educated at all on the topics you're talking about, and I think you're a discriminatory bigot who deserves to die in a hole.
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Chloe *Leah* Pheonix 4 years ago
I know being LGBTQ is hard, take it from me. But a lot of people are struggling with it as well, I'm with you and you are not alone :)
BlackPearltheSeaWing/NightWing 4 years ago
I had no idea trans people had to go through so much. I want all you trans pandas to know that you all are so brave and I hope you are much happier being your true selves!
Caroline Overill 4 years ago
I was born female, I want to stay female, I am heterosexual. I am also 5ft 11, very overweight owing to depression and I get called sir in shops.
Carmen Sandiego 4 years ago
Check out the song "Scars to your beautiful" by Alessia Cara. Dunno why but this reminded me of it.
EyeYamStewPeed 3 years ago
Nope. You are being discriminatory towards the LGBTQ+ community and should perhaps shut the f**k up about topics you clearly know nothing about. Why would people pretend to be female just to have sex with lesbians? They go through intense social stigma, even more than most gay people. They even might get surgery to change their physical sex to match their gender - all to have sex with lesbians? What about transgender men, who were assigned female at birth? Do they want to have sex with gay men? I don't think your argument stands up very well, I don't think you're educated at all on the topics you're talking about, and I think you're a discriminatory bigot who deserves to die in a hole.
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