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30 Hilarious Stories From Vets About Pets And Their Sometimes Clueless Owners
Tell me if you didn’t dream of being a veterinarian when you were a kid. Personally, helping animals and seeing them every day sounds so much fun! However, when we grow a little older, we understand that being a veterinarian means not only petting cats and dogs every day. Yeah, unfortunately. It also requires many years of hard studies and determination, but once you survive this - it’s a rewarding path. But! There is a slightly complicated part when it’s time to deal with pet owners. Well, of course, not every one of them can make you question your decisions, but it happens.
Speaking of dealing with pet owners, veterinarians in this Facebook group share the most bizarre requests that they have received. If you think ‘oh, it can’t be that bad,’ spoiler alert - yes, it absolutely can. Check it out for yourself!
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Had a very elderly woman come in saying something was wrong with her dog, very serious, it wasn't breathing and could we do something about it. She unfolded the blanket revealing one a those stuffed dogs, battery powered, the ones that look so real, their chests move up and down,and she was SO sad, crying! We took the "pet" to our treatment area, replaced the AA batteries and the woman left completely happy. She did return 2 or 3 more times after that asking for help and we gladly abliged by replacing the batteries. Is kinda sad, but she was so happy.
A woman came in carrying a photo of her dog, asking if we had seen her. After some confusing conversation it turned out her dog had passed over but she was looking for the reincarnation of it. I explained that her dog would most likely not look the same, or even similar, when she reincarnated, and that she should rather be on the look out for a young dog that "felt" the same; some weeks later she returned with a puppy from a shelter, thanking me enthusiastically because not only did the new puppy not look like her deceased dog, but she had come back as a boy!
Bored Panda contacted Dr. Georgia Jeremiah, DVM and CEO of Furmacy, who kindly agreed to share her personal stories and insights regarding veterinarian jobs!
Speaking of funny stories, Dr. Georgia remembered: “I performed a surgery on a dog who had eaten an item of clothing that had become trapped in her small intestine. When discharging the patient, I presented the offending article of clothing to her owners in a ziplock bag. The man looked like a deer in headlights when the woman slowly turned to him and said 'these underwear aren’t mine'. Needless to say, I left quickly and let them sort it out!”
We were asked by a client that while their cat was being cremated that the person doing it read out a verse from the bible. The cremation man was so sweet he went down to the library and found the verse they were after and read it during the cremation.
Oh yeah and another woman brought her young female cat in because she was getting very fat. On examination it was clear that the cat was heavily pregnant, but the woman said that was impossible - the cat never went outside and the only other cat she had contact with was her brother. "Is he neutered?" I asked, and most indignantly she replied that I was suggesting something very obscene and marched off to complain to my boss. Fortunately he was able to convince her that cats don't have the same moral standards as humans.
She also shared one more story that she remembered: “I had an elderly client who was struggling to get his severely obese dog to lose weight. We formulated a diet and exercise plan that the owner was dedicated to following, yet after a month, the dog’s weight was still stable. I asked him to keep a journal of everything he feeds the dog down to the morsel as sneaky treats are often the culprit. He later presented me with a journal that showed an additional three cooked meals plus treats that he fed his dog alongside his formulated diet. Once we removed the pancake breakfast, the dog dropped 20lbs!"
We had a former client bring in a cat to be neutered. He asked if prior to the surgery we could place his cat in a kennel with a female cat for one final.... Our sharp receptionist politely responded with "I'm sorry sir, but we no longer offer that service".
We had a client ask to put down her 7 yo Golden because she was tired of dealing with occasional allergy issues. Then she asked that if her husband showed up with lost fliers to just not say anything. We got the dog into rescue. WTH???
That is the most cruel thing I have ever heard. those immature bastards should not be allowed to have pets
“Veterinary work is incredibly rewarding , but can be emotionally draining. Every day you get to make a difference in the lives of pets and their owners and no two days are ever the same (as cliché as that sounds). It’s also funny - I cannot imagine doing another job that would make me laugh as much as vet work,” she emphasizes.
“The hardest part is usually dealing with owner expectations and financial concerns. There is often an assumption that you will know what is wrong with an animal simply by examining them, without performing any diagnostic tests. Whilst this is often the case, we still require diagnostics in a lot of cases to reach a concrete diagnosis. Because most people pay for these costs directly out of pocket, it can be challenging to formulate a plan for a pet’s care that encompasses the diagnostics you wish to perform and takes into account an owner’s financial situation - a scenario that is less common in human medicine.”
Asked for testicles from their dog back so he could keep them in a jar at his office, so when his daughter was old enough to date he could bring the boyfriend in the room and explain what happened to her LAST boyfriend that didn't treat her well....
Additionally, Dr. Georgia Jeremiah shared that “Saying goodbye to an animal is bittersweet in most cases and euthanasia can truly be a gift, yet as an ER vet, I frequently encounter cases where an animal is uninsured and the owners have limited funds to treat. As I don’t own the hospital or control costs, we do everything we can to lower the expense or seek alternative funds for them, yet euthanasia is sometimes the most humane option. It is the most heart-breaking aspect of veterinary medicine where finances limit your ability to do your job and many vets have received death threats or worse for not treating animals for free. It’s why the suicide rate amongst veterinarians is one of the highest out of all professions.”
Man brought in his cat that had been deceased for at least a month for us to have cremated - he had been storing it in a plastic cooler at his house since it died and it stunk to high heaven. AND he wanted a clay paw print to take home. Tech did it - and I'm thinking maybe I don't pay her enough.
Now, as it is clear that the veterinary profession is hard, but rewarding, she shared her favorite part of her job: “Being able to save critically ill animals. When a pet enters my hospital on a stretcher, struggling to survive and walks out of the hospital back into the arms of his or her owners. It’s priceless.”
Had a lady bring a small garden snail in a jar and insist we scan it for a microchip - she was convinced it was "rare" and that scientists or the government were probably tracking/studying it. We humoured her and ran the scanner over it. Surprise, surprise, this snail was not microchipped!
And finally, as in every job, there are misconceptions. Dr. Georgia shared few of them that are common in veterinary:
“We do it for the money: most of us have crippling college debt and earn a fraction of what our human doctor counterparts earn.
We play with puppies and kittens all day: We are usually rushing between consultations with chronically or critically ill patients, covered in all manner of bodily excretions whilst trying to stick to our schedule. We’re sorry if you have to wait, most appointments run over due to unexpected symptoms that need evaluation. But please - bring us your puppies and kittens, we love puppy and kitten cuddle therapy when we get a chance!”
I was asked by a client to discuss my diagnosis and suggested treatment with the patient - a guinea pig - through a animal communicator to see if the guinea pig would agree. I was pleased to hear that the animal thought that I was very nice and gentle and that it would trust my judgement... (At least the guinea pig was able to take a decision as it's owner obviously wasn't!)
And a few more:
“My pet doesn’t need a yearly physical exam: Your pet’s yearly physical exam helps us pick up any signs of disease early on. Most of the time, there are no issues, but it’s a great opportunity to discuss any concerns you have with us and for us to get an update on your pet’s health status. I discover more health issues performing yearly exams that you would believe and I’m grateful to be able to catch them quickly. We are also not legally allowed to prescribe preventative medications such as flea & tick products without seeing your pet on a yearly basis.”
New clients requested that I cover the windows and turn out the lights when they arrived for their pets appointments....because they were vampires......they ended up being wonderful pet owners....new staff members thought I had lost my mind when I would inform them of this clients special needs.
And of course, don’t forget to check out Furmacy and Wag!, the best places for you if you have a pet or if you are thinking about getting one - keep that in mind!
A man called our equine clinic once trying to make an appointment for his wife's ob gyn annual visit. After I fell out of my chair laughing I finally convinced him his wife would not like how our vets checked mares.
Our Hospital Manager recently had a member of his church call him at home and ask if it was possible his dog had impregnated his cat. The dog is a pug and the kittens had smooshed faces.
We had a client come in the other day for an exam because they were worried about the 2 large lumps they found on their "female" dog's underbelly...turns out the dog was not a female after all! The best part? It took several minutes to convince the owner that her dog was in fact a male.
Didn't something under the dog tell her that? What did she think that was?
A client asked if we would board the ashes of their deceased pet while they went on vacation bc their dog enjoyed being at our boarding facility so much!
This is sweet, good they took good care of their boarders!
We had a client that wanted us to neuter her dog instead of spay her because it was cheaper....
biology is not taught enough in schools. Even animal biology and correct terms.
A client wearing a moomoo came in with her dog that had fleas. She said she had a rash and was wondeting if it was flea bites. She then lifted up her dress to show the doctor her itchy crotch.....and was not wearing underwear
Weeks after euthanizing her dog, one woman came back to the clinic because she couldn't find the spirit of her dog at home. She wanted to walk around the clinic to see if she could " locate" him. She even made a tech smell his collar so he could help.
We had a client that would bring her rabbit in and she would talk for the rabbit in this creepy tiny voice! One of the techs came out of the exam room after reviewing the tx plan with the client and said - "that rabbit just called me a b***h"! Lol! The rabbit always swore at us!
We have a rather shady hotel down the road from our clinic. One day a guy that lives in this hotel comes in holding a shoe box saying his cat isnt breathing. We quickly got him in a room and grabbed a doctor to get in there right away. The guy is freaking out (slightly.....very intoxicated) saying his cat is dying and asking if we can save it. The doctor open up the shoe box and there is a Nike tennis shoe. The guy did not believe that it was not his cat and make the dr use his stethoscope to make sure it was "dead".
I had an elderly woman ask if we could see her Tiger.. When I asked if that was the name of her kitty, she said "No, I have a 3 month old Tiger at home and he's not eating well".
We have a client that insists that her male cat thinks he is female. Not only does he think he’s female, he understands human speech enough to know when someone uses the wrong pronoun in regards to him. So if someone “accidentally” calls the cat “He” or “Him”, she goes into a blind rage and cries and apologies to the cat. She has even asked that our official records be changed to protect “his” feelings.
I had a client ask for a copy of my license so she could open up a veterinary account at a distributor to get 'flea medicine'. She promised not to buy controlled drugs.
A client was boarding a dog at the clinic, and requested that we keep a photo of the family in the kennel with the dog. Not only the photo, but a frame that you can record messages into. The family requested that we play the message at least six times a day.
After amputating a cat's tail, the owner asked for the tail back. 3 weeks later the owner came in with a new designer purse, with her cat's tail as the zip pull !
We had a client claim that the reason her cat kept getting sick was because it was urinating on mothballs and that the urine + mothballs was making meth. So the cat was high.
I don't remember them doing that in Breaking Bad. Hollywood never gets the facts right!
We had a woman who would take her cats home after euthanasia to sleep with them one last time then brought body back the next day for cremation... thank god we don't see her anymore
Ifyou know you are taking your pet to get euthanized then you can already have your last sleep with them the night before. Alive!
umm, we've had more than one person lift a shirt to show us a rash...
Had a client who a few years after I had gelded her horse asked if I could put the testicles back on because he had become so good and tractable she wanted to breed him! Said she has gotten them off the roof were I threw them and had kept them in her freezer.
We had an owner ask the tech to trim her toe nails (the owners nails not the pets)
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I alternated roaring with laughter and staring at the wall loosing faith in humanity
Oh man, I have another one: Woman asks us what to do when her male dog pops a boner. We tell her that that isn't a health concern, but that if he's displaying unwanted behavior otherwise, that we have a trainer we can refer her to. She tells us that she's not that worried, just wanted to make sure it wasn't a physical health concern, and that she's able to "give him relief" by letting him "finish" between her toes.
I alternated roaring with laughter and staring at the wall loosing faith in humanity
Oh man, I have another one: Woman asks us what to do when her male dog pops a boner. We tell her that that isn't a health concern, but that if he's displaying unwanted behavior otherwise, that we have a trainer we can refer her to. She tells us that she's not that worried, just wanted to make sure it wasn't a physical health concern, and that she's able to "give him relief" by letting him "finish" between her toes.
