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40 Of The Funniest Things People Overheard In Courthouses, As Shared On This Instagram Page (New Posts)
All the Law And Order fans, pull your seats closer! This time, we are diving deep into courthouse drama with real emotions, high stakes, and unprecedented cases. Except we will not be watching them but rather hearing them firsthand.
Well, almost. Thanks to this smashing Instagram page known as “Overheard Courthouse,” there are tons of hilarious conversations people overheard in court that ended up in its feed. Witnesses, defendants, judges, prosecutors, respondents… all come together in these totally real and some made-up dialogues that are worthy of a Tarantino movie.
Scroll down below for our selection of the funniest Overheard Courthouse conversations and be sure to check out part 1 of the article.
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Please, we're in a courtroom- let's keep it professional Mr. Spaghetti.
Previously, Bored Panda spoke with the creator of the Overheard Courthouse Instagram account who said that it all started with @attorney.memes in 2018.
“While I was growing that account, I decided to start an account similar to the likes of @overheardla and @overheardnewyork that would detail all the unusual things that are heard in courtrooms,” the creator told us.
At first, the page was posting transcripts of trials collected from various websites they found online. But when the account grew in popularity, the followers began sending them transcripts from their own depositions/trials and unusual statements that they had personally heard. “So the account started to form its own identity,” the creator recounted.
Had to check. 7 month old heifers weigh at around 200 kg. Seems large enough for me ;)
The person who runs Overheard Courthouse argues that the reason why courtrooms are the perfect place for hilarious conversations is that there is the clash between the etiquette that’s required in a courtroom vs. life outside the courtroom.
Moreover, according to the creator, “Many people outside of the justice system aren’t aware that there’s a certain demeanor expected while in the presence of the court that differs from today’s social norms which tend to be more informal.” When you put someone who’s not familiar with the etiquette that is expected in a courtroom, it makes for some hilarious moments.
The creator explained further: “These individuals are usually known in the U.S. justice system as being 'pro se' or 'pro per' depending on the jurisdiction. The submissions involving pro pers are some of the funniest ones because not only do you have someone who may not be familiar with courtroom etiquette, but they’re placing themselves in a position where they’re not trained or experienced to handle their case and all the complexities and nuances that may come with it, which leads to some hilarious moments,” they told us in a previous interview.
Judge: Agreed! Defendant, you are hereby ordered to refer to officer Baggins by his real name!
Poor person. This did not mean that they were stupid, just did not understand the question. It happens to all of us one time or another. Or They might have been mentally challenged and nobody knew.
Oh my Rao, where's a babelfish or universal translator when you need one
Maybe it was more than obvious to the judge after the marriage proposal, that the respondent wasn't competent enough to participate that day.
Hmm, wonder if they were a professional dancer and trying to impress the judge or a amateur trying to impress the judge, or either one just dancing for shîts and giggles???
Piano wires and salmon? Wow that sounds like an interesting murder case!
I mean it could be argued that it shows a demonstrable lack of good judgement.
This isn’t fair. Court mandated urine tests are observed- someone is watching the stream leave your body and anger the container. Personally I had major pee anxiety under these circumstances and was unable to go so yeah.
Dad's attorney the day before: "Try to find a calming and quiet environment for the call." Dad's attorney now: 🤦🏽
“Your honor my client both likes and has big butts and cannot lie, as he is under oath.” “The jury cannot deny.”
40 per month? Tell me the judge is a man without telling me the judge is a man.
So much fir innocent until proven guiltree…. I’ll show myself out.
I think this falls under the heading of "Fûck around and Find out!" lol.
I have never understood why people want to attack the person their spouse/SO etc is sleeping with. The spouse/SO is the one who should be beat ;)
the best type of laws, "im being arrested for insider trading??!! but i did it outside, HAHAHAHA, case dismissed
Defendant:"I'm just watching all the pretty colors of the rainbow, your honor. Now I'm sliding down into a pool of my mom's tears..."
I want to be known as Mister Doctor WD Gaster Jr. Esquire III, PhD.
Judge (Thinking to himself or herself): “We have ourselves an open-and-shut case.”
Geography has never been my strong suit. Apparently it’s not the judges either.
There's a saying "Snitches get stitches" and sometimes "...and end up in ditches." It means basically if you tell the cops on your criminal buddies, they will come beat you up. It also applies to kids on the playground or arguments between siblings. Basically, there's an unwritten code that no matter how bad things get, you don't get the authorities involved.
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What do we do with this rhyme now that staples are being used to close cuts?
Priorities... fur babies are just like children to some of us. They're definitely family members! We got to give them the love ❤
Oh, boy; I imagine getting fired from that company was not fun for either of those firing the defendant or the defendant!
Attorney:"Your Honor, on the basis that I'm throwing everything at the wall to see what will stick here."
Smh, these people have no idea what personal manners or etiquette are these days.
Scripture also says that we are to submit to the governing authorities, provided that their commands do not violate the Word of God. I suppose I’ll give him credit for trying… !
The only reasonable possibility for this claim being true would be let the client choke someone in self-defense or was defending someone who was truly helpless.
Nothing wrong with that. There should be no shame in those kinds of things. I, myself, have written some to acclaim, and others have published on Amazon and made a fair bit of money. I'd appreciate if we didn't shame people for these sorts of things or make it out to be some taboo guff.
No they don't. This judge is a cretin. It's illegal to park on double yellow lines, but is it immoral? It's immoral to commit adultery, but is it illegal?
I was in traffic court once for a speeding ticket. The guy who went before the judge before me had been ticketed for driving without proof of insurance. In my state, if you can prove you did in fact have insurance at the time, the ticket is dismissed. The defendant handed the judge an insurance card. The judge didn't accept it because 1)it wasn't in the defendant's name 2)it wasn't for the car he was driving and 3)the policy start date was after his ticket date. His response when questioned about those things? "I didn't think you'd actually look at it"
Worth a shot to be honest. I've seen some s**t. 🤦♀️
Load More Replies... While serving on a Grand Jury, the popular phrase among us was "What's on you alleged mind?"
Laughed so much at some of those... They should make a book of funny things said in court. Could even make chapters with the context of charges or the people involved xD xD
Went to traffic school when I was a teenager. Everyone had to stand up and say why the court required them to take the class. A young woman said she got a speeding ticket 65 in a 45. The instructor said that usually doesn't result in traffic school. Oh, she said, she meant to say 65 OVER in a 45!
Went with my friend to traffic court. Judge offered to defer the ticket, meaning she'd have to pay the full amount, but it wouldn't go on her driving record if she didn't get another ticket in the following 12 months. The other option was to pay half the ticket and it would go on her record. She picked option two. When the judge asked why, she just shrugged and said, "I know myself, and in less than 12 months, you'll know me pretty well too." But they pretty much offer that deal to everyone where I was living then. Another friend told the judge, when asked if she had a reason for speeding or anything to say on her own behalf, "No, I just like to go fast." The judge cracked up then cut her ticket in half anyway. Yes, this was some white ppl sh** which is why my black a** went along for entertainment.
I was once in the court public area supporting a friend who was on a pretty serious but bogus charge. He was acquitted, and the quality of the witnesses can be summed up in two examples The first was that the two main prosecution witnesses, a married couple, gave completely contradictory stories, both claiming to be the one who opened their front door when my friend was supposed to have been trying to kick it down (despite him having a broken ankle at the time, his leg in plaster and on crutches); giving completely different times as to when the supposed event took place - over half-an-hour difference; and both claiming to have rang the police while he was supposed to have been at the door (police records showing that the call had been made some two hours after the later time claimed by the witnesses, among many others. But the real beauty was an exchange between the prosecuting barrister and the female witness. ...cont
cont.... PB. Would you tell the court how Mr. X was acting when the door was first opened. FW. Well, he was shouting and swearing, Your Honour. PB. There's no need to call me 'Your Honour, I'm merely a barrister. Now, Mrs Y, what exactly did he say? FW. Well, Your Honour [even the judge had to quickly cover a smile at that one], I don't really like to say because I don't swear, but his language was f#cking disgusting! The case was dismissed shortly after on the judge's direction, citing unreliable and clearly dishonest witnesses.
Load More Replies... "I don't even know why I got called for jury duty. I'm not even registered to vote." Packed courtroom got to see the judge ream him out.
I once received a subpoena to a small assault case because I was the only witness. It was supposed to be a group of 5 cases being heard. Besides the courtroom people, I was the only one who showed up. Not a single defendant showed up. They were all found guilty.
I once heard the defendent claiming, that he didn't mean to kick the police dog. He said, that he was aiming at the officer.
I was in traffic court once for a speeding ticket. The guy who went before the judge before me had been ticketed for driving without proof of insurance. In my state, if you can prove you did in fact have insurance at the time, the ticket is dismissed. The defendant handed the judge an insurance card. The judge didn't accept it because 1)it wasn't in the defendant's name 2)it wasn't for the car he was driving and 3)the policy start date was after his ticket date. His response when questioned about those things? "I didn't think you'd actually look at it"
Worth a shot to be honest. I've seen some s**t. 🤦♀️
Load More Replies... While serving on a Grand Jury, the popular phrase among us was "What's on you alleged mind?"
Laughed so much at some of those... They should make a book of funny things said in court. Could even make chapters with the context of charges or the people involved xD xD
Went to traffic school when I was a teenager. Everyone had to stand up and say why the court required them to take the class. A young woman said she got a speeding ticket 65 in a 45. The instructor said that usually doesn't result in traffic school. Oh, she said, she meant to say 65 OVER in a 45!
Went with my friend to traffic court. Judge offered to defer the ticket, meaning she'd have to pay the full amount, but it wouldn't go on her driving record if she didn't get another ticket in the following 12 months. The other option was to pay half the ticket and it would go on her record. She picked option two. When the judge asked why, she just shrugged and said, "I know myself, and in less than 12 months, you'll know me pretty well too." But they pretty much offer that deal to everyone where I was living then. Another friend told the judge, when asked if she had a reason for speeding or anything to say on her own behalf, "No, I just like to go fast." The judge cracked up then cut her ticket in half anyway. Yes, this was some white ppl sh** which is why my black a** went along for entertainment.
I was once in the court public area supporting a friend who was on a pretty serious but bogus charge. He was acquitted, and the quality of the witnesses can be summed up in two examples The first was that the two main prosecution witnesses, a married couple, gave completely contradictory stories, both claiming to be the one who opened their front door when my friend was supposed to have been trying to kick it down (despite him having a broken ankle at the time, his leg in plaster and on crutches); giving completely different times as to when the supposed event took place - over half-an-hour difference; and both claiming to have rang the police while he was supposed to have been at the door (police records showing that the call had been made some two hours after the later time claimed by the witnesses, among many others. But the real beauty was an exchange between the prosecuting barrister and the female witness. ...cont
cont.... PB. Would you tell the court how Mr. X was acting when the door was first opened. FW. Well, he was shouting and swearing, Your Honour. PB. There's no need to call me 'Your Honour, I'm merely a barrister. Now, Mrs Y, what exactly did he say? FW. Well, Your Honour [even the judge had to quickly cover a smile at that one], I don't really like to say because I don't swear, but his language was f#cking disgusting! The case was dismissed shortly after on the judge's direction, citing unreliable and clearly dishonest witnesses.
Load More Replies... "I don't even know why I got called for jury duty. I'm not even registered to vote." Packed courtroom got to see the judge ream him out.
I once received a subpoena to a small assault case because I was the only witness. It was supposed to be a group of 5 cases being heard. Besides the courtroom people, I was the only one who showed up. Not a single defendant showed up. They were all found guilty.
I once heard the defendent claiming, that he didn't mean to kick the police dog. He said, that he was aiming at the officer.
