30 Of The Funniest Jokes And Memes About All Things Programming (New Pics)

Yes, do this please.

Last week I fixed a monitor in the office that had been “broken” for a week and that several people had already tried to fix. And yes, you guessed it how I “fixed” it. And I don’t even work in IT.

but then you find out that your pot no longer works on your new induction stove, the carrot is moldy and the peeler is in the dishwasher anyway.

Ah, I see he has certified as a Scrum Master.

Meanwhile two nasa astronauts ride a multi billion dollar rocket to the space station to finds its broken junk that they feel unsafe i. And every single test and launch of this massively behind project is late on time and ahead on cost and shows its junk. By the airplane maker who builds aircraft that failed engineering school

Oh this is evil. I’m stealing this, but only for badly designed surveys.

I always enjoy naming queues in my code "foo". ;-)

They cut the baby in to nine, each spend a month raising it, then build it back. Simple!

Nice cheat code!

Okay, this one made me laugh

tabs or spaces?

You wouldn't believe how many times this 'rule' saved my butt...

They were going to cancel it, but someone laid the schedule out in a table... ;-)

googleling is an artform - especially when you don't even know the name of the thing you are looking for. Furthermore the internet has now become so poluted with all kinds of made up nonsense, that knowing how to filter it out, so you only get the usefull parts, is a great skill.

They wanted a bigger byte of the market! I'd laugh even louder if the previous limit was 16, as that's just a nibble!!!

This refers to the July 19, 2024 outage of all Crowdstrike services, that caused $5.4 billion in losses in what might be considered "the largest IT outage in history", all stemming from a single faulty software update pushed on a Friday afternoon (a big no-no). CrowdStrike supplies a security software called Falcon to thousand of companies. The software embeds itself into the Windows kernel, and the update made impossible to boot the PCs affected.

Here it is explained: Do the opposite of the second wish means to fulfill 3rd wish. However, you have to ignore the 1st wish, meaning the 3rd wish shouldn't have been fulfilled(as it reversed the 2nd wish allowing the 3rd wish to be fulfilled).

17

Awww. I do try to be a good senior dev. I hope I make the junior devs feel good about their work.

Incognito browsing only prevents your browser from recording your actions, not the servers you interact with. So if you Google something whilst in incognito mode, Google still records it.

Highfalutin Heron

Highfalutin Heron

Community Member • points

posts

comments

upvotes

FollowUnfollow

Premium

Premium user. Get details.

give(peace, aChance);

Been done there that. Needs more mutexes and semaphores. ;-)

My brother works in one of the companies working on self-driving cars. I asked him how they intend to handle winter in Canada, where the lanes change when snow falls and change again when the snow is stacked too high on the edge of the roads. He said he'd love to know that too.

That is the valuation if the startup is in San Fransisco. The exact same company with the exact same product and same developers started in New York is worth $200 million. Started in Chicago it's worth $100 million. Started in Philadelphia it's worth $500 thousand. Company valuations are purely based on perception, and not on reality. It's why Tesla is worth more than every other car manufacturer on Earth put together.

I don't know about Java, but some programs can only be used in old versions, because all the updates just make them worse and worse. (Here in Germany, we call that "verschlimmbessern".)

Well I'd buy a lot of things like multiple plot of land in good places with that money then I'd use most of the billion dollars building houses on them to sell or rent out :)

Replace the monster with coffee and cigarettes and then I'm good

Looks like retirement.

Is that little Bobby Tables?

The two hardest things in programming are Cache Invalidation, Naming Things, and Off by 1 Errors.

And you have auto-commit turned on... Time to see if the backups work...

I wish they used something else. In my industry it would be helpful to use fractions in file names (it's not that big a deal; I use decimals instead).

42 is always the answer, on any question

Great code should also be aesthetically pleasing. When you see a good design, the variables are well named, the classes and packages are well organized. The build runs quickly, and dependencies are well managed. You're like "damn that s**t is sexy". I mean, I assume, I've never actually seen this happen.

Don't forget to specify your return date too

New shoes, New backpack.. is this a glitch in the matrix?

"Being good at smt doesn't mean it works. Love, Mom

Damn you stroustrup

Meanwhile I'm all, "Stop screaming, dude, I'm not even done here, why are you always so dramatic"

Badge still works, phew

Uhm... no. It was not the free market, it was HER who willfully decided that doing TikToks and p*rn on OF is easier than working a factory job, an option that most machinist don't have btw. It was not "the free market" who opened an account self-describing as "semi-pro sl*t". An Aerospace Machinist makes on average $28/hr, that is on the higher end of most specialized blue collar jobs, she decided begging for $130k from her "simps" is a better use of her time. (all from a cursory glance at her twitter profile)

I was always Team "Year X". My coding has always included good formatting and thorough comments and I've never done any programming shortcuts that wouldn't make sense to future me.

Sooo.... Does he do sound design or did he just forget about it?

I've worked with people like this. They are given calculations to make along with examples in the user story. I do the code review and they have not done the calculations at all, but instead hard coded the examples so it will pass testing. 🤦 They did not pass code review.

Preach! My hardest job ever was working in a boiler room-like call center fulfilling orders for products shown on TV (mostly infomercials back when those were a thing), along with the occasional credit card application. That job made me temporarily hate the world. My hat goes off to everyone who works in the service industry, and fast food workers deserve so much of our respect as well as a living wage.

Took me a moment. If you need help, replace the symbols, eg. "1212" is equivalent to the first string and "1221" is equivalent to the second.

I will now spend the next 6 years building a dependency injection framework for Smalltalk, and Xerox shall rule the world!! (once I also invent a time machine, which should be about as hard).

I'm always looking at code and saying "who wrote this sh*t?" and then realising it was me

I tell my junior devs. First, make it work. Then make it work fast. When I'm working on really large datasets, algorithm efficiency is much more important, but most developers don't really need to worry about it. In the case above... okay n!^2 is really bad, please fix that. Unless n is always less than 5, then let it slide.

Generative AI? Nah, Regurgitative Plagiarism Program.

Do they actually take it, though? From what I've heard, truck drivers are incentivize for speed and penalized for anything that slow them down, including safety measures like "breaks", "peeing", and "a full night of sleep". I hope I'm wrong, but that's what I've heard. Maybe it depends what country you are in.

So long as I got paid, I would not care

Huh?

Vectors: OK. Matrices: OK. Quaternions: run away screaming

All this cyber security knowledge has to come from somewhere ;)

We think when our consciousness is uploaded we will still be us (reference) but in actuality it would just be a copy/simulation of us (value). More recent OOP languages would still pass this by ref so maybe we'll be ok? ;)