There are a ton of reasons why we love the United Kingdom—from its gorgeous nature and culture to its wide-ranging cuisine and renowned literature. But something that keeps us coming back is our love for the British press with all of its ups, downs, and unique quirks. There’s honestly hardly anything better than making a big cup of tea and opening up the serious Sunday papers or going for a cheeky scroll through the digital tabloids. It’s entertaining. It’s fun. It’s off the hook!

Now that’s where the ‘Mental UK Headlines’ Twitter page comes in. A social media project that unites nearly 100k followers, the account features some of the funniest, most bizarre, and downright ludicrous news stories and headlines found in the British press. Both in the tabloids and in the more serious (digital) papers. And today we’re featuring some of their very best finds to bring a smile to your face. Just because the press isn't yellow doesn't mean it's not immune to some truly bizarre headlines.

Go on, grab yourself some biscuits and enjoy a good laugh. Don’t forget to upvote the pics that you enjoyed the most, send a few your friends’ way, and if you really love what you’re seeing, give ‘Mental UK Headlines’ a follow for some more top-tier humor.

Bored Panda got in touch with author, comedy writer, journalist, and all-around talented creative Ariane Sherine from the UK. We had a chat about tabloids, catchy headlines, and why the Brits love the sensationalist press so much. Read on for our full interview with her!

#1

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Nkotanyi
Community Member
5 months ago

I guess detention would have been enough. So much sadness and depression being separated from your favorite seatmate in class.

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Journalist and comedy expert Ariane, from London, shared her thoughts about the tabloids (or the ‘red tops’ as the Brits call them) with Bored Panda.

“I think the British press, particularly the sensationalist yellow press uses a lot more wordplay, humor, and puns in headlines—and also employs shock to grab the reader,” Ariane told us.

“You’ve also got our tabloid the Daily Sport, which I wouldn’t even class as a newspaper as it’s mostly made up for entertainment and titillation!”

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Troux
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

He would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids.

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Rachknits
Community Member
5 months ago

'One was so drunk it fell off the roof' hahaha

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We were curious to get Ariane’s take on why the British enjoy tabloids so much, whether it’s all for the sake of being entertained or if they actually believe the biased news printed there.

“I definitely think people read the Sport purely for cheeky entertainment and to look at scantily clad women, as it’s only meant for that,” the journalism expert told us.

“But a lot of people get all their news from the Sun or Star, which is a bit worrying. They definitely believe everything they read in those papers—and they shouldn’t!” she warned.

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Funhog
Community Member
5 months ago

Ahh.. the golden gull.

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Nathaniel
Community Member
5 months ago

Legend.

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James016
Community Member
5 months ago

Beer, curry and Tool’s music. Not a bad way to re start life

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Meanwhile, when it comes to writing striking headlines, Ariane said that a lot depends on the topic in question. If you care about the issues on a personal level, you’re already more likely to read the story.

She shared some of the things that journalists ought to look at when writing headlines: “What’s the human interest angle? What would grab my attention? You have to distill the story into its essence in one sentence. What makes it entertaining?”

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NsG
Community Member
5 months ago

Ah, but is this a Colin or Wiggles cake? Coz that looks like Wiggles (from Sainsbury's), because otherwise this wouldn't just be a pothole, it'd be an M&S pothole.

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Vorknkx
Community Member
5 months ago

Piglet tried to dispose of the body?

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Nathaniel
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

Cougar rather than Leopard I reckon.

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The ‘Mental UK Headlines’ project is fairly fresh. The account was started up on Twitter almost exactly a year ago, in April 2021. In that time, they’ve gotten the love and attention of 98.2k followers.

The account shows us a few things. First of all, how much a good headline can boost our mood for the next few hours (who doesn’t love a hearty chuckle?). Secondly, there are some truly weird events going on in the world. And lastly, the British yellow press is willing to write about pretty much anything and everything for the sake of a ‘story.’ Whether that restores or destroys your faith in humanity depends on your perspective.

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NsG
Community Member
5 months ago

...I believe this...

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#11

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Nkotanyi
Community Member
5 months ago

If he hasn't hit anyone, just give him an official driving license. He proved he deserves it.

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Ed Brandon
Community Member
5 months ago

What a time to be alive.

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During a previous interview, London-based comedy writer Ariane told Bored Panda that humor plays a huge role in British culture. 

“I think it is inherently witty and quirky but coupled with a huge dose of irony and self-consciousness,” she shared her thoughts about British wit with us.

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Otherkin
Community Member
5 months ago

WHY???

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#14

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Buren
Community Member
5 months ago

How many birthdays does this pothole have?

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Ed Brandon
Community Member
5 months ago

She knew...

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“[British humor is] sarcastic, petty, ridiculous, embarrassed, self-conscious, and underpinned with the knowledge and awareness of how silly Brits are,” the comedy expert explained to Bored Panda how we can define this unique sense of humor.

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Who Panda 420
Community Member
5 months ago

Just being a hero

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Nathaniel
Community Member
5 months ago

Could be worse. They could have been watching Eastenders. Now get out my pub you slaaaaag!

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NsG
Community Member
5 months ago

They've not posted this one well, but basically, someone threatened to call social services because of her eyebrows.

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“When people think of us, they think of the Royal Family, iconic images like London buses and phone boxes, afternoon tea, period dramas, and posh people—like Hugh Grant in Richard Curtis films!” Ariane said how the world tends to think of the British.

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Ashley Hall
Community Member
5 months ago

Som many people are left "crying and shaking", traumatized, or "devastated" these days.

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River Webb
Community Member
5 months ago

that must be a pain in the ass

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Skara Brae
Community Member
5 months ago

She'd be a lot more recognizable if both eyes were on the same side of her nose.

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“They see us as charming and antiquated and think we're adorable. Spoiler: we're not really like this! Which they'll find out if they ever visit Britain, but I guess most people never do, so we remain cute and posh in their imaginations,” the comedy writer quipped.

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N G
Community Member
5 months ago

How's a girl supposed to chop wood these days

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#23

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DaveR38
Community Member
5 months ago

Brexit Britain at its worst :(

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Michelle M
Community Member
5 months ago

And the 2022 Darwin awards goes to...

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Meanwhile, Lisa McLendon, the William Allen White Professor of Journalism and Mass Communications and the coordinator of the Bremner Editing Center at the University of Kansas, was kind enough to share her insights about text and how to leave an immediate impact on the audience with us during an earlier interview.

The professor said that when you have to make an immediate impression on someone, like with a sign, it’s best to focus on clarity and brevity. That’s especially important in our world where there’s a seemingly endless stream of information and shortening attention spans.

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Nathaniel
Community Member
5 months ago

Peppa Pig to appear in the next series of Hannibal.

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James016
Community Member
5 months ago

The next word out of the baby was “innit”

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Konpat
Community Member
5 months ago

Chaotic evil at its finest

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"Clarity and brevity are essential. You only have a second or two to get your message across, so you want people to understand quickly with zero confusion," she told Bored Panda.

What’s more, journalism and editing expert Lisa stressed the necessity to proofread all of your work. And then getting someone else to proofread it again. It’s especially useful when you’re using text in ways that can’t be easily and cheaply edited later (like it would be online).

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Tigerpacingthecage
Community Member
5 months ago

Yeah, we all make mistakes - sure, but you need to take responsibility for your actions. Saying "everyone does it" isn't really taking responsibility.

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troufaki13
Community Member
5 months ago

-"What is the purpose of your visit?" - "Well actually I'm a terrorist and I will be performing terrorist acts throughout the country" - "OK sir, enjoy your stay"

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Buttered_Crumpet
Community Member
5 months ago

Makes me proud to be British :)

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She also stressed that it’s important to choose the right font, with the audience in mind. It should be clear. It should be readable. It shouldn’t have your readers second-guessing what they’re looking at.

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N G
Community Member
5 months ago

Don't look back in anger.

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James016
Community Member
5 months ago

“Attic shark do doo” 🎶

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#33

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indiecognition
Community Member
5 months ago

He couldn't resist a rest

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#34

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Buren
Community Member
5 months ago

TWO YEARS???? That must be bull s**t.

Nubis Knight
Community Member
5 months ago

It is b******t. You can hold in farts while awake but as soon as you sleep, your muscles relax and the farts find their way out.

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FlowerBot
Community Member
5 months ago

Lol, I was brought up that a woman doesn't fart in public. Fast forward many years and I have never farted in my husbands company. One day I wake up scared sh'tless, sat bolt upright 'what was that' I say panicked. My husband was nearly crying with laughter, he couldn't speak. Yes you've guessed it, I farted so loud in my sleep I woke myself up scared. This was a few years ago and even now, when reminded of it he cracks up. Hmm very nice!

Kimi Tomminello
Community Member
5 months ago

Lol my husband farts and snores himself awake as much as the dogs do and it cracks me up every time.

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Miss Kat O
Community Member
5 months ago

Does she not leave him at any point to like go about her day... and maybe let one out?

abby smink
Community Member
5 months ago

That's what I was gonna say...shower farts?

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Dash Blue
Community Member
5 months ago

I held in my feelings for two years. What a relief it was when I finally let loose, and had an emotional outburst filled with tears, and lots of farting.

Andy Acceber
Community Member
5 months ago

Fun fact: Research suggests that farts held in too long come out the other way. The idea that you can hold in your farts for two years is nonsense. But, straining your system to hold it in can cause real problems... problems that present much sooner than two years down the line.

Sara Rodrigues
Community Member
5 months ago

That is not entirely true, only some air is able to pass back through the digestive system, around 10% or less. Our system is highly effective at moving things down, hence why it's not possible to reabsorbe or move the air back up. That's why most people end up bloated, with colics or other health issues when they try to hold their farts in for a long time. Don't hold your farts!

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Nathaniel
Community Member
5 months ago

is that a fog horn I hear coming from the hospital?

Kevin Lord
Community Member
5 months ago

That’s 100% not a British headline.

SeamusRGN
Community Member
5 months ago

Irish barista, story in irish mirror. not brits

Minimo
Community Member
5 months ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Yes Brits. Just not English.

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SGH
Community Member
5 months ago

This comment has been deleted.

Jill Pulcifer
Community Member
5 months ago

My mother was on a date once and they were taking a "scenic route" to a restaurant that was already far away. As soon as she sat in the car she realized she had to fart, but since it was her first date with this guy and she really liked him she held it. It was the 70's so they are drinking, and he's chatting and she's starting to pray. Finally after the longest car ride in the history of having an emergency fart they arrive. She stands up and just blacks out, it brings the entire parking lot of this busy restaurant running to her rescue, and her body just takes care of business. So she's laying there, out cold, just farting and farting and farting, then wakes up, completely unharmed and feeling physically better, but wanting to be unconscious again as soon as the relieved crowd tells her what happened. Im assuming it was something like this.

Theo Blackwood
Community Member
5 months ago

It says Irish twice and you still have the audacity to put this on a “UK headlines” post???

Who Panda 420
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

I've seen this on South Park but is it really possible? I mean wouldn't they just come out in your sleep?

finisz
Community Member
5 months ago

Yaps.

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Elaine Mattingly
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

She imploded?

GPZ
Community Member
5 months ago

Why do I have an image of Mr Creasote in my head now?

Pascale Pierloot
Community Member
5 months ago

She got so bloated, she thought she was having twins.🤣

Merilyn Horton
Community Member
5 months ago

Better out than in.

Caroline Overill
Community Member
5 months ago

Nobody light a match

GramDB
Community Member
5 months ago

NO WAY!

Baali Venomax
Community Member
5 months ago

Saw that in the Daily Mail this year too.

Artie B
Community Member
5 months ago

She must never leave her boyfriend's side then.

KimB
Community Member
5 months ago

Jeezus this gives a whole new meaning to a**l retention!

greenbean
Community Member
5 months ago

Didn't the person poo for 2 years?

Kim Bush
Community Member
5 months ago

Like a lot of women, she probably figured he did it enough for both of them.

Atero
Community Member
5 months ago

Issue ballooned out of proportions...

Darren
Community Member
5 months ago

That must of been a massive fact when they let that out. Hope there was a can of air freshener nearby

Daniel Mattock
Community Member
5 months ago

South Park did it

D K
Community Member
5 months ago

And the lesson here, boys and girls, is to just let ‘em rip!

Too lazy
Community Member
5 months ago

Didnt she ever poop??

Amy Doyle
Community Member
5 months ago

Couldn't she have had went to the bathroom or went to take a walk.

#DreamSMPistheBest1
Community Member
5 months ago

Just release it.

OHJeans
Community Member
5 months ago

Surprised she didn't take off like a balloon.

Brandy Grote
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

Do you not have a bathroom, or a door outside? Are you always around him? True love = farts, man.

Bubba
Community Member
5 months ago

I can smell his pain

My O My
Community Member
5 months ago

It is possible to hold in farts for longer then a few minutes? But. He has to take a dump sooner or later...

J. F.
Community Member
5 months ago

I think they mean she didn't fart when she needed and hold them in till it was safe. It's impossible to hold gas in for two years straight

David Brown
Community Member
5 months ago

I'll bet that fart was epic. Wonder how long that bad boy lasted?

HaitianPlanner Chic
Community Member
5 months ago

That's quite a load of hot air!

JJM
Community Member
5 months ago

You can't hold them in - they have a life of their own..........

grafxgal60073
Community Member
5 months ago

Bogus clickbait headline.

Gretel Hallett
Community Member
5 months ago

Not possible; they come back up the other way as burps.

naturespocket
Community Member
5 months ago

how painful. when you do that it just travels back up and out as a burp. so yeah don’t do that

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indiecognition
Community Member
5 months ago

And she would walk 500 more

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Friday
Community Member
5 months ago

It’s all part of the experience really..

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Who Panda 420
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

I saw this apparently it was found safely outside in a hedge. Apparently the staff were very worried about it as nature abhors a vacuum. 😂

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Liz
Community Member
5 months ago

The couple in the photo seem awfully cheery about it

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Vorknkx
Community Member
5 months ago

Did he order the seagull covered with curry?

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Phill Healey
Community Member
5 months ago

Good!

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#41

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Phill Healey
Community Member
5 months ago

Isn't this just about the Youtuber Colin Furze?

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Olivia Lisbon
Community Member
5 months ago

“Why are you pulling me over?? It’s right behind us, fool! Aaargh!”

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Liz
Community Member
5 months ago

I saw an entire box of Voodoo Doughnuts face down the other day…doughnut guts spilled everywhere…f*****g tragedy

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Essex Eagle
Community Member
5 months ago

Its a joke....

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Nathaniel
Community Member
5 months ago

A park? You have a park? In our day all we had was a grass verge to play on and we were thankful of that!

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Foxxy (The Original)
Community Member
5 months ago (edited)

It should be mentioned that this little girl has Autism and struggles a lot with selective eating, which in some cases can be so severe that they would rather starve than eat something that isn't familiar or suitable for their selective tastes/texture etc.

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River Webb
Community Member
5 months ago

so the limit is 7kg?

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River Webb
Community Member
5 months ago

ngl having to pay 54 pounds for fish and chips is pretty traumatising

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Scagsy
Community Member
5 months ago

I've heard that she's also against photos in horizontal mode.

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Nathaniel
Community Member
5 months ago

He's a cockwomble.

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Note: this post originally had 70 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.