50 Funny And Spot-On Posts From The “Marriage And Martinis” IG Page

This is not a question of equality. This is not showing consideration for a person who is sick.

Perfect....lol

I have grown very powerful over the years. Not only my pants, but my shirts also are too weak to sustain my mighty body parts.

very-very clever! I would like to apply that :)

Insta-Gran!

Every single time!

thats cute

There are times when you don't want someone to offer solutions to your problems. Sometimes you just need a hug.

We all need someone who will listen and support without judgement.

Probably as a best man.

Also, if you take the last of the toilet paper, put the new roll on the spindle, don’t just leave the roll on top of the toilet tank!

Men is too headache

I get so irritated by Americans who think "voila" is "waaa laaa".

Awww

How sweet though

this is like the time my brother got stuck upside down on the monkey bars, so i had to help him. told him to let his legs go and his only reply was "i don't wanna im gonna fall to the sky" i said thats not how gravity works buddy

I feel that one! Every year I did presents for my husband's family, until this year I finally realized why tho? It wasn't that he made me do it, I just kind of did together with other gifts and never ocured to me before, that it could be his problem. I ranted about it every year but never told him. Sometimes I am thick as hell.

LOL-had this conversation with hubby this morning

😂

you need to wag your tail more when he gets home

well said lol

ive been getting ready to make my bed for 1 year

Thanks baby. Let's do the opposite. You do my part, I do yours.

Yeah... Having kids gives me some insight into the reasons why my mom always started vacuuming or doing noisy chores in the kitchen at 7 a.m at the weekend. Sweet revenge. I'm planning the same for my boys as soon as they grow into their teens 😅

With their teacher because they don't wanna eat their vegetables!

Yep. Feeling all that right now. And so here reading BP and ignoring my work...😶

LOL

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You may be doing something wrong during the night. Just saying. 😜

Memories of dad.

I do that.

Glad I am not the only one. Imagining a cluster of tiny houses, paths to a fire pit...i think i just described hobbiton.

this sums up parenthood 100%!!!!!

Should be with THE NAP!

We called that "the hunt". "What's for dinner?" - "just go hunt something for yourself."

It seems that now since everyone is home for school and work, I am doing triple the laundry. As I put items out of the dryer, I often say "when did they wear this? I never saw this on any one? He never wears that for me?" 🤔

You actually managed to get all the suitcases in the trunk?!

Yeah, we all need to be able to vent while understanding that you still love that person you're venting about.

I get into an Uber, chanting in my head 'don't look at me don't look at me don't look at me don't talk to me don't talk to me don't talk to me nope don't

It's go time!!!

Ryan should just stop lol

Don't do n°4, or else mankind will go extinct.

All different weeks though.

No blur!

Slowly move backwards to a safe distance and break out the emergency chocolate treats. Gently lob them, do not handfeed untill sobbing stops if you are fond of your fingers and wish to keep them. She'll be ok.

So true. 9 times out of 10 I can tell hubby where whatever he is looking for without looking for it myself. The other time, I can usually find it by looking.

Depends who's doing the cleaning part.

Always send wine. In case you're wondering, wine is always the answer.

That's what you say

(Add a slight echo) Eight...

Is this a good thing or a bad thing

what was the joke tho

Has there ever been another reason? I think not.

Here I am!!

Finally a partner that gets it

Its really good for kids' development to be consensually swung around n stuff

I moved from a southern us state ( rice, dauted fresh veggies) to a northern state ( stewed meat and potatoes..my god the potatoes ). One day i was homesick and cooked some foods i wanted. Stepkids balked and (ex) hubby said " what did you expect?" . One of the most hurtful things that happened to me. Ex husband idea of making dinner was to call the pizza place for delivery

Sometimes wish I enjoyed alcoholic beverages in order to partake in these pleasures. Hope chocolate milkshakes will do the trick!!