Woman’s SO Isn’t Invited To The Wedding Of Her Friend Who Gave Her A Kidney, So She Skips It
Sometimes, there are times in life when people must pull themselves away from their friends who once were very close to them. For example, so close that they gave them a kidney. What a sign of friendship, isn’t it? Well, sometimes, even these friendships, like the one from today’s story, start to decay when people are just too different to get along due to different worldviews. Yes, you might have a kidney gifted from that person, but what if they are very hateful towards your significant other due to their gender expression?
More info: Reddit
How should you react when your close friend very clearly dislikes your significant other who is transgender?
Image credits: Leeloo The First (not the actual photo)
A woman’s friend, who once gave her a kidney, didn’t invite the woman’s transgender significant other to her wedding, claiming it was a mistake
Image credits: Jennifer Murray (not the actual photo)
Image credits: João Jesus (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/Throwitaway4981
So, the woman decided to skip the wedding, as she didn’t want to attend a celebration her significant other was not welcome at
The post’s author has a friend she met in college, and despite their different worldviews, they were close. In fact, they were so close that at one point, the friend gave one of her kidneys to the OP.
Recently, the friend got engaged and started planning her wedding. The trouble began when the original poster noticed that her significant other, who is transgender, wasn’t included. So, she called the friend, hoping it was a mistake, only to learn that she forgot to put him on a guest list, but she still hoped that OP could make it.
But the author knew it wasn’t a simple oversight. So, she tried to explain how important it would be for her significant other to attend the celebration, but the friend kept lying. In the end, the woman decided to skip the wedding since she couldn’t go with her boyfriend.
This left their mutual friends divided – some thought she was wrong for making it about politics, while others praised her for standing up for her relationship. So, to find out what side is possibly right, she took to Reddit.
Most of the people told her that her choice was right. Standing up for her transgender significant other wasn’t a political move, but her friend not inviting him was. So, quite a few netizens wondered why the woman was so set on being friends with someone who’s quite openly transphobic.
Image credits: Євгенія Височина (not the actual photo)
After all, a person doesn’t have to shout slurs out loud to be transphobic. Transphobia has many ways of showing up, from microaggression to straight-up violence:
- Using incorrect pronouns;
- Deliberately using a trans person’s deadname;
- Bullying;
- Discrimination (housing, medical, legal, you name it);
- Violence.
So, the friend, as far as we know, doesn’t call the OP’s SO slurs straight to their face (who knows what she does behind their back). Yet, the woman revealed that they had argued about gender, and her friend had revealed her, let’s just say it, backward views. And, well, her not inviting the author’s significant other to her wedding was more than telling.
Sadly, transphobia very negatively affects trans people. It not only causes them physical harm, but it also causes these people to suffer from various mental illnesses — anxiety, depression, and many others.
So, we can agree that the post’s author standing up for the person she loves and her friend apparently hates was definitely the right move. But it is sad that the person, who once gave her kidney, is now pulling away as she can’t understand that person’s gender identity.
While not everyone in the woman’s life agreed with her decision, most of the people online seemed to think it was the right choice
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Sigh. Trans people existing is NOT politics or political, people. Yes, we're being used as scapegoats by reich-wingers, but that's no different to every other lgbtq+ group, as well as cis women, non-white people, the irish, the french, the italians and so many others throughout recent history. Really sucks for this lass that her otherwise amazing friend has chosen hate towards us, and the lass's boyfriend specifically, and I don't envy the position that's put her in. Hopefully one day the friend will grow up a bit and drop the hate.
To the people downvoting me: If you think, for some gods only know why reason, that I should be polite or respectful towards people that are ACTIVELY HARMING ME AND MY KIN, that are CREATING LAWS SPECIFICALLY TO HARM OUR YOUNGER KIN, that are CURRENTLY TRYING TO ERADICATE US, then you've got your head stuffed so far where the sun don't shine that it's gonna take more than a crowbar to pop it back out.
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It's fine to pass on the wedding, especially if her official reason is they are over the limit in guest. Send a tasteful card from both. If OP has the patience to try and educate, do that, have a dinner etc where you know it's the friend's reactions not a worry about how relatives are going to react, and go from there. Sounds like she comes from bigoted people, who will certainly be at the wedding. She may just be hoping to avoid conflict and taking the low road. But don't go if your partner isn't invited, especially if he's upset/insulted.
NAH. Bride & groom can invite (or not) whoever they want to their wedding. And OP is free to turn down (or accept) any invitations they receive. That's how it works. And after that, they can remain friends (or not).
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Yeesh I feel bad because clearly this is a supportive friend (she donated her kidney!) but I just couldn’t be friends with someone transphobic.
Sigh. Trans people existing is NOT politics or political, people. Yes, we're being used as scapegoats by reich-wingers, but that's no different to every other lgbtq+ group, as well as cis women, non-white people, the irish, the french, the italians and so many others throughout recent history. Really sucks for this lass that her otherwise amazing friend has chosen hate towards us, and the lass's boyfriend specifically, and I don't envy the position that's put her in. Hopefully one day the friend will grow up a bit and drop the hate.
To the people downvoting me: If you think, for some gods only know why reason, that I should be polite or respectful towards people that are ACTIVELY HARMING ME AND MY KIN, that are CREATING LAWS SPECIFICALLY TO HARM OUR YOUNGER KIN, that are CURRENTLY TRYING TO ERADICATE US, then you've got your head stuffed so far where the sun don't shine that it's gonna take more than a crowbar to pop it back out.
Load More Replies... It's fine to pass on the wedding, especially if her official reason is they are over the limit in guest. Send a tasteful card from both. If OP has the patience to try and educate, do that, have a dinner etc where you know it's the friend's reactions not a worry about how relatives are going to react, and go from there. Sounds like she comes from bigoted people, who will certainly be at the wedding. She may just be hoping to avoid conflict and taking the low road. But don't go if your partner isn't invited, especially if he's upset/insulted.
NAH. Bride & groom can invite (or not) whoever they want to their wedding. And OP is free to turn down (or accept) any invitations they receive. That's how it works. And after that, they can remain friends (or not).
Load More Replies... Yeesh I feel bad because clearly this is a supportive friend (she donated her kidney!) but I just couldn’t be friends with someone transphobic.
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