Friend Asks Woman To Pay For Everything When They Go Out Since She Lost Her Job, Gets “Not Happening” Reply
We’ve all helped a friend out once or twice, right? It’s a great feeling to cover for food or whatever else they need at the time, when they’re down and out. And most of the time, a month or a week later, you’re getting the same favor from them.
But what if that friend decided to quit their job and then expected you to pay for everything whenever you went out? Well, a Reddit user was in this exact situation and said: “not happening.”
More info: Reddit
Sometimes money troubles can drive even the groups of closest friends apart
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual image)
A poster came to Reddit wanting to figure out if she’s a jerk for not paying for her friend every time they go out
Image credits: u/Clementinecutie13
Image credits: Adrienn (not the actual image)
The poster’s friend quit her job and wanted all of her meals and activities paid for as the poster had a better job and had recently gotten a promotion
Image credits: u/Clementinecutie13
As the poster agreed to only pay every once in a while, this caused friction between them, with the friend pushing the poster to pay “just help her out”
The people in the story were 20-something students. One of them had quit her job to focus on her studies, without any backup plan to have finances for extra spending.
When they would go out, they’d cover for each other every other time, so they ended up even. It worked for them. But once the friend quit her job, she asserted that the poster of the story, Clementinecutie13, should pay for them whenever they went out, because, hey, it’s only fair – OP had a good job, a recent promotion and was pretty stable.
Naturally, the poster pushed back, saying that there’s no way that’s happening and suggested going together to places where they wouldn’t have to pay, such as chilling at home or a park, to which the friend reacted negatively, thinking that OP should just help out. According to a comment by OP, her friend would also act as if she was too good for the outdoors. Clementine says that she hates it, always has, and always finds something to complain about.
In another subreddit, the pleasingly dubbed Entitled B*tch, OP posted about three months later with some more details. Clementinecutie13 suggested some positions to her friend, but they didn’t work out, because she wanted to work two days per week and not in the evening.
The friend would continuously complain about how little money she had and how OP should help her out. Turns out, this behavior continued for about 4 months, according to Clementine.
Every time they would go out, she’d complain about being strapped for cash and follow it up with “but I’m not ready to get a job yet, I’m in school.” Even more ludicrously, she only had one class a day for the entire week, according to OP.
Ever since then, they haven’t been hanging out much at all. Plus, she doesn’t want to enable the friend, because the situation would only get worse, as her mom is already doing so.
Image credits: energepic.com (not the actual image)
Even more details are revealed in the comments of both posts. The friend worked at a fast food place before quitting and when OP attempted to refer to her job, she vehemently refused, citing some sort of “conflict of interest” even though they would have worked at different locations. Clementine intuits that she just doesn’t want to work in fast food, retail, etc.
She’s also living with her parents, so she doesn’t really need to spend on rent, food, or worry about a lot of the concerns of upkeeping a place of her own.
There are a lot of peeps on the internet wondering whether you should give money to your friends: paying them for their services, giving them small or larger loans, and things such as occasionally paying for their lunches. An article by Chris Lema suggests that you should pay for lunch all the time.
Chris says that besides being virtuously generous, it may have some practical benefits. It may make people like you more, as people love gifts, and they may reciprocate with more of the same. Also it may have some business advantages, but Chris’s tips are likely more for well-off businesspeople.
Others also say that you should never lend money to your friends or even give money to them. People on Quora discussed this, with some saying that you should never ever give money to friends, as it ruins friendships often, with people beginning to fight over money.
Then again, if you trust the person and know they’ll be able to pay you back, it’s no big deal. It’s really up to you to decide what’s within your means and whether you feel good about having money pass between you and your friends.
Clementine’s post gathered more than a thousand upvotes and 150 comments. The community judged her not to be a jerk, saying that she should really respect herself more and get better friends. Do you have similar stories of super entitled friends? Let us know in the comments!
The community judged that the poster wasn’t a jerk, saying that she needs to get better friends
Image credits: Leah Kelley (not the actual image)
I lived this story, but on a bigger scale. Room mate didn't make enough at her job to pay rent, so her parents did. Then she got stressed out by her job (I thought it was easy, and even she couldn't explain why she was stressed) and quit. Never told her parents. For about 3 months I paid all the utilities, bought our groceries, we could never go anywhere because after those expenses I couldn't afford to pay for both of us. We kept all the details in a ledger because "one day" she would pay me back. Eventually her parents found out, were appalled, and wrote me a check for the money she owed. We moved in with her cousin, and she did the same thing again to him - no rent or share of bills/groceries. She even took the money we gave her to pay utilities (close to her new job) and spent it. Cousin got the late notice and had to pay it all himself again. Got even more complicated, but eventually we all went our separate ways.
I'm sorry you had to deal with someone that immature
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I'm always amused when someone says they're "struggling" while they aren't even trying.
Exactly... people that age have no idea what actual stress is yet. I wish I only had to deal with what college involved....while making what I make now.
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I don't blame the poster a bit for saying no. Everything I read tells me the unemployed friend is selfish and entitled. She worked 3 days a week and was stressed out? Please. Then to tell her friend it shouldn't be a big deal, to pay for everything, because she just got a promotion. Had a similar situation when I was younger. I was working and made decent money. Me and a buddy went to the mall were he spent most of his money on a really ugly gold chain. Afterwards he said he wanted to go to Red Lobster, I said ok great. So at dinner he was ordering all kinds of stuff. I kept asking if he was sure he had enough money, he acted insulted that I would ask. In the end, he didn't. His bill was 75$. He only had 30. So he looks at me to save the day. I told him no, I asked him several times if he had the money and he said he did, so figure it out. I ended up paying, but made him give me all his cash, and the ugly chain as collateral.
I lived this story, but on a bigger scale. Room mate didn't make enough at her job to pay rent, so her parents did. Then she got stressed out by her job (I thought it was easy, and even she couldn't explain why she was stressed) and quit. Never told her parents. For about 3 months I paid all the utilities, bought our groceries, we could never go anywhere because after those expenses I couldn't afford to pay for both of us. We kept all the details in a ledger because "one day" she would pay me back. Eventually her parents found out, were appalled, and wrote me a check for the money she owed. We moved in with her cousin, and she did the same thing again to him - no rent or share of bills/groceries. She even took the money we gave her to pay utilities (close to her new job) and spent it. Cousin got the late notice and had to pay it all himself again. Got even more complicated, but eventually we all went our separate ways.
I'm sorry you had to deal with someone that immature
Load More Replies... I'm always amused when someone says they're "struggling" while they aren't even trying.
Exactly... people that age have no idea what actual stress is yet. I wish I only had to deal with what college involved....while making what I make now.
Load More Replies... I don't blame the poster a bit for saying no. Everything I read tells me the unemployed friend is selfish and entitled. She worked 3 days a week and was stressed out? Please. Then to tell her friend it shouldn't be a big deal, to pay for everything, because she just got a promotion. Had a similar situation when I was younger. I was working and made decent money. Me and a buddy went to the mall were he spent most of his money on a really ugly gold chain. Afterwards he said he wanted to go to Red Lobster, I said ok great. So at dinner he was ordering all kinds of stuff. I kept asking if he was sure he had enough money, he acted insulted that I would ask. In the end, he didn't. His bill was 75$. He only had 30. So he looks at me to save the day. I told him no, I asked him several times if he had the money and he said he did, so figure it out. I ended up paying, but made him give me all his cash, and the ugly chain as collateral.
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