You know how in school, there was always that one kid who just couldn’t stay silent no matter what everyone was talking about? They would raise their hand in the air and start elaborating on whatever it was that nobody, not a single one, had asked in that classroom.
Fast forward to today, and we see the same thing happening all around on the internet. And this particular subreddit titled “Nobody Asked” has collected some of the most entertaining examples of people explaining far too much even though they were never asked to do so.
Below we selected some peculiar examples, so scroll down, upvote your favorite posts and let us know what you think of it in the comment section!
This post may include affiliate links.
Oh To Be A Good Christian Mother But Also A Survivor
"They slink around the house like unfixed cats" BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Best vent ever!
In the beginning I thought very young kids and snot but it got even better hahaha
Load More Replies...I hate parents that don’t understand that their kids do need privacy. Most of the time it’s not even about sex but we all need our private time. My parents didn’t knock on my door in like 2 decades, it was maddening. I couldn’t even do things like drawing or writing because they would come to snoop and mock it.
Don't take this the wrong way, but you're parents sound like twats.
Load More Replies...I've read that this is a prank review, left by someone who specialises in prank (and funny) reviews.
Something to look forward to, yah! Like I said earlier, teach them to do their own laundry and supply with tissues. (lots of tissues 🤣)
Load More Replies...I never had boys so I am a bit Naive. It took me to getting to the 4th paragraph before I got it. ROFL
I have 3 girls myself, but grew up with 3 brothers, so I kn"EW" what was "coming"! (yeah, I went there)
Load More Replies...Vegan Coworker
I have a co-worker that I get along with really well who‘s vegetarian. I learned that only after YEARS when the topic randomly came up. I am still amazed by that. (In hindsight, I should probably have noticed she never ate meat, but I don’t pay much attention to what people eat and what not.)
The only time I ever tell co-worker I'm vegetarian is if there's an order for pizza, or someone brings in food and I have ask what's in it.
Load More Replies...I didn't eat meat for many years, no big deal just didn't want it. We had a company meal and a rather dim woman called Joyce was organising the food and said to me "I know you don't eat meat so I've arranged for you to have chicken". I'm not often lost for words, but I was on this occasion.
I totally read this wrong. I thought it said virgin. Oh my! It wasn't til I read the comments that I realized my mistake.
My first year at university, my dorm mate told every guy she met that she was a virgin and wanted to change that. Every single one. Damn was it awkward.
Load More Replies...A few years ago I remember a woman who was vegan decided to climb mount Everest, to prove that vegans were just as fit and healthy as meat eaters. She died about 2/3 of the way up. At least she died doing what she loved. Telling people that she was vegan.
You hate them? That’s a pretty strong word. Also, livestock are major sources of methane — a super strong greenhouse gas. Eating a more plant-based diet is environmentally better.
Load More Replies...What is it with people and their need to announce that they are either a vegan gay or do cross fit? Most people don't care and will take you as we find you. And for the Gay people, it's 2021 being gay is as normal and acceptable as being straight as it should always have been. Like the other things, it doesn't have to be announced along with your name when you meet someone for the first time.
Not their fault. If they don't mention it every 6 minutes, they start getting ready to explode. vegan-8-mi...5ab6f4.jpg
I Figured It Belonged Here
Yes I came to say that. This channel stopped being a serious documentary source decades ago
Load More Replies...I'm a molecular neuroscientist and I can verify that humorous television not only doesn't rot your brain, but laughing can stimulate your brain in ways educational programming cannot.
Actually, you do have an IQ of 136 for nothing. (if it is that high at all - whcih I seriously doubt, if you don*t understand the depth of The Office and find National Geographic stimulating)
Coincidently I also have an IQ of 136 (genuinely). Number one, I nor this turd are anything special, there are plenty of geniuses (140+) in the world. Number two, intelligence does not mean that you find humour or simple things unentertaining. The Office is great TV, though personally I prefer the original British version.
I don't know my husband's IQ, but he skipped two grades as a kid and he's highly intelligent. Sometimes watches crappy action thrillers.
Load More Replies...‘Those who boast about their IQ certainly lost some while boasting about it’ - something I made up on the spot Idk
Load More Replies...IQ tests and results are way overrated imo. I theoretically have a high one, but it’s so unimportant. It doesn’t measure all the other talents people can have! Also, I think the test is skewed towards people who have a decent education, are tested in their mother tongue, are not struggling with poverty, and such. I’m sick to death of people boasting about their high IQs, how they could get into MENSA, blah, blah, blah. (Btw, assuming you do think IQs are a valid proof of intelligence, 136 is not incredibly high.) “Smart” people did absolutely nothing to be smart, and they could lose it all to a car accident, neurological illness, etc.
You probably know a person who wouldn’t miss a chance to throw their opinion here and there, or give advice without being asked. And even though everyone seems to be less than impressed with their gesture, it seems like nothing can stop them. Are they just being nice? Do they feel an urge to show off? What’s up with that?
Psychologists believe that unsolicited advice-givers tend to be rigid in the way they approach life in general. They typically believe that they are right, and when they approach a problem, they often have difficulty seeing the situation from multiple perspectives. This is why you should always take such advice with a pinch of salt.
Please I Just Wanna Get The Group Project Done
Group projects should be outlawed at this point unless you can prove your willingness to participate.
Sometimes I'm thinking what's the point of these projects and then i think that probably they prepare you for stupid lazy colleagues in your workplace!
Load More Replies...I hated group projects. One person does all the work and the whole group gets the credit. So wrong!
I'm always the one person that does all their work everyone else's, and yet I get called unproductive.
Load More Replies...I wish guys understood how always on the alert women have to be that a man might be interested in them. One wrong step and it could lead to anything from verbal abuse to ending up in dustbin bags along the motorway. I've seen the above screen shot being shared as if the woman was really up herself thinking everyone fancied her. If he'd just stated in his first text it was about their project he'd have saved her that anxiety. I just realise that in his world this wouldn't have occurred to him.
You're assuming it was the guy asking the lady if she was free this weekend. It could be the other way around. Or it could have been a guy asking a guy or a lady asking a lady.
Load More Replies...in my most recent group project, my partners did nothing. i was out sick for a week, and beforehand they designated me as the art person for the poster. the entire time i was out they did nothing. they didnt even do so much as write anything down. i was left with a couple of hours to draw everything. i had a breakdown from stress. that accumulated with the piles of missing work i had was horrible.
i'm always strict at group project, like if you don't at least contribute snack for the work, u won't see your name in the project
I'd continue Group w/out this nitwit since he thinks setting up a meeting is a date request.
Do You Even Lift?
Part of normal, healthy eating is to eat based on what suits your brain, but I guess he doesn't have to if he doesn't have one.
None the less, sometimes your brain will make you crave specific foods because your body needs specific nutrients in that given moment. (This, of course, does not apply to addictions)
Load More Replies...Cool asking a question that you have no interest in, you just want to brag. Way to go bro.
Some people just ask you questions so they have an excuse to give their own anwers.
I do the same, but for some reason all that fuel is pleasurable. Go figure 🤷♂️
Apparently there are some people who derive no pleasure whatsoever from eating. I've met a few people like that, but not many.
My BIL has said the same. I was kind of floored. I live to eat for pleasure
Load More Replies...Start off with a big juicy quarter pounder, Roast potato's carrots, peas broccoli and lashings of gravy, That is the entree. Then I would have a chicken caesar salad, I don't want to over do the calorie thing you know. Then..........
About Your Boomer Story
I'm already wasting precious time replying to your dumb idea, so let's not push it, chief.
Sometimes, their perspective lacks humility and insight, even though they often seem very competent to people around them. Same with sharing their opinion on matters when no one really asks them. They wouldn’t do that if they genuinely did not believe they were right.
On the other hand, we just all have to accept that some people really like talking. You see, it’s much more fun to talk than to listen and not every talker can be a great listener. Moreover, we have to realize that one of the most powerful communication skills you'll learn is good listening at an early point in your life. After all, communication is meant to promote understanding between people and you can never get to that point if you’re not listening to others.
What Am I Supposed To Do? Never Talk About My Family On The Internet?
My mom passed away when I was 11 and my dad was never around but it makes me so happy and excited for people who have parent(s) and appreciate them! Don't take them for granted, folks.
My mum was a hardcore narc and alcoholic. I love to read posts like that because it makes me happy that person has a wonderful parent. Yeah it might make me think a little but I wouldn't bring down that person for it. It comes across as desperately needy frankly.
Load More Replies...Well now you’ve infected someone else’s holiday celebrations with your parental trauma, congrats? This is why therapy exists.
My grandmother was notorious for leaving out ONE ingredient when giving recipes for her delicious cooking. If you wanted to know, you had to get up at dawn (the South with no AC) when she cooked and watch her like a hawk.
It's becoming a trend. In my town there was this woman who made the local news because she was offended by all the Mother's day ads in shops because she wasn't a mother and her mother died when she was born. To her that was a totally valid reason to ban Mother's day in my town despite all the people who had or were mothers. This year she didn't succeed...
This person is carrying around a lot of buggage. More like traumatised than TMI.
The word 'mother' is a trigger regardless of how it's used in a sentence, even as a brand name! This made me sad.
Load More Replies...Why is this response more than 2 sentences, my mother had crippling arthritis and could never write more than 2 sentences. This comment is offensive to those of us who never received more than a greeting card with, "Love, Mom" written at the bottom.
I have 30 years clean and sober. My mom was a flaming codependent, my dad, step-dad and second step-dad were alcoholics, some were quite abusive. That being said, I will happily eat your not quite as good as mom cookies and tell the world that being a shitheel and blaming it on your upbringing is lazy and counterproductive. Start going to Al--Anon and quit playing the victim.
Give Me A Sign
I'm really interested to know how/why he posted that to Wendy's. Surely the story must include either weed, alcohol or both!
The response is a joke...it wasn't posted to Wendy's
Load More Replies...Don't know about the rest of you old farts, but I don't have to look at someone else's aging process to recognize my own. I own mirrors. Do love the retort for this, tho.
I Mean Yeah But Kettles
They may have started the conversation talking about kettles, but I feel like someone needed to let off some steam...
I live in the USA and I do have a kettle but rarely use it because memory has failed me due to depression and anxiety.
We all have a friend or family or mother who can change any conversation into what they want to talk about.
Why doesn't the UK acknowledge that microwaves exist? Boiled water tastes the same whether it's out of an electronic kettle, a stove top kettle or a microwave. You can not tell the difference. Boiled water is boiled water. If there was an art to it, the Food Network would have made 10 competitive cooking shows about it by now.
Well pretty much everyone in the UK has a microwave too, but I can't imagine it to be anywhere near as convenient for boiling water as a kettle.
Load More Replies...I think a kettle is a kettle, whether it's electric or not. The whole purpose is to heat the water up to make a hot beverage. Be it tea or coffee. That's all I care about.
“That’s Cool”
No one asked, but that doesn't matter. I'm here to let you know that I won't watch it and now you have to deal with that...
Some people apparently don't know that if somebody discuss something you aren't interested in on the Internet , you don't have to participate. If there is a thread asking you to name your favourite song by band X, you can be sure there will be at least a few dozens comments like "I don't care about band X" and "ugh, who listens to this crap".
On A Video Of A Fat Cat
And has no clue about the concept of "colloquialism".
Load More Replies...And an Oxford student almost 1000 years ago would have no bloody idea what any of our words mean, much less read it. English is a living language, which means it changes and adapts over time.
Should an Oxford student not be able to use punctuation and capitalisation correctly?
If an Oxford student would think through a few Google searches, that student would understand the OP and learn something in the process.
Since he said that imma make some more confusing sentences so he cant read them `–´
I imagining the nonplussed look on 'Oxford's' face when he finds out what the first comment meant. Also, I wonder how he is with Australian vernacular.
I could translate! English private schoolboy taught RP, but now live down under!
Load More Replies...To be fair, I have no idea what that means either without looking it up, but my guess would be that on a fat f**k scale, this guy is a 9/10.
9 Years Mother F**ker
To those trying to quit a bad habit/addiction: Even one day is an achievement for many. Do not let assholes put you down.
Yep, they should both be congratulated even if one is being a d**k. Smoking cigarettes a horrible habbit.
Load More Replies...Um... rude much? just because you have a so-called "better achievement" (which you don't... all achievements, big or small, are all valid.) than that other person, doesn't give you a reason to put them down. Congrats, random person who is 1-month cig free. Here's to another month!
Wow, never seen gate keepers for quitting smoking. Encourage and support you asshole. (12 years quit here and who cares? I'm QUIT and so is the guy for 1 month)
I've never had the habit myself, but know people who've really struggled to quit. I'd applaud someone who'd managed a whole DAY smoke-free if that was progress for them!
Load More Replies...This reminds me of a friend who, bless his heart, in response to my proud announcement of being able to run 5 km without dying (I was a beginner), said: "Cool, but 5 km is literally nothing." I think (emphasis on think) he meant it to motivate me to want to run further, but I almost punched him in the knee :)
I know a non-runner who lives with a marathoner. The long-distance runner was supportive when his hubby took up running and competed in a 5 km race.
Load More Replies...The first few months are the hardest. Congrats to the dude who quit and keep going. I packed up in 2005, and I still get the odd occasional pang. Don't give up giving up and yes, you will feel the benefits very soon.
That's real - I quit Feb 2010 and I too get the occasional "knock" in my brain. I once heard: "After quitting, you're never again a non-smoker, you'll always be an ex-smoker."
Load More Replies...If you don't have anything nice to say....oh you know how it goes lol
“Yes I’m 27”
Other than that perv... I think the person's outfit is very beautiful and she has a lovely smile!
Exactly. Also first part of his handle (sairas) means sick in my language so there's another flag.
Load More Replies...He wants underage because he is an insecure piece of s**t that likes to control women
Meanwhile, underage girls are smarter than that and they keep running away.
Load More Replies...They Just Wanted A Guitarist
As an American I would just like to say yes we have an abundance of morons like this and yes we we are very embarrassed!
Lol thanks for saying that, I’m an Aussie so this offended me a lot, but it’s nice to see that some Americans on the internet aren’t total morons.
Load More Replies...Ummm.... Well Done?
I don't see why people disrespect "manual labor" so much. Most of those jobs contribute more directly to society, and it's better and healthier not to sit at a desk all day.
Just think about who was "essential" and working during the pandemic. OK, so I was in that group working in a call center, but we were contracted to a major bank so considered financial.
Load More Replies...Too bad money can't buy him a better personality.
Load More Replies...So let’s all be mechanical engineers so when the job market is flooded this not-very-smart person is out of a job. Why do people fail to realise that ALL the jobs need doing by someone.
The expansion joints and the motors don't build themselves! Good luck to that mechanical engineer being hands off with a flooding toilet.
Load More Replies...What a d**k. Note, they're talking about good, union jobs that folks are staying in until retirement. Let's see how this mechanical engineer does 10 or 20 years from now as new mechanical engineers are coming out of school with more relevant training. The union folks will likely still have jobs.
Also, important - doing the job you want to do, college degree required or not.
This too. Some people are not attracted to fields that make a lot of money, and some people don't care about what they do for work at all and just want to make enough to live without worry. A healthy society has room for everyone.
Load More Replies...A mechanical engineer that does no manual labor? If he cannot build it he cannot fix it. If he cannot fix it what use is he? nMy gizmo does not work. Here let me draw you a schematic.
Someone Give This Guy A Medal
Besides of the lack of empathy in that post, talk about another Captain Obvious (if you were dead, you couldn't post you ignorant git)
Tbh the original post is also insensitive. You could just say "RIP Dennis Farve, who died in a tragic automobile accident. Please drive safely, everyone" instead of posting a sensational pic of his wrecked vehicle. I'm sure his family really appreciates that moving tribute./s
Load More Replies...Holy f**k that truck...not surprised the driver died (RIP), but very surprised by how it's still standing up, so to speak...seriously, how??
It's not really "standing up" it just created a new center of balance at the point of impact.
Load More Replies...To the replier: You make it sound like he planned it. I don't think that was the case...
In The Comments Of A Comic
Where did this person get the idea that eating fries once makes your muscles disappear?
I mean, its certainly unhealthy for you if you choke to death eating them....
Tell Me More
Like is this a tomah-toh or a tomay-to? We should be told.
Load More Replies...Does this person think you can only eat plant matter in direct sunlight?
Did not know eating a tomato in the dark is a big deal. I may have to live on the edge and try that myself
No Better Time To Have Scabies Than When It’s Rainy
I don't know why but this one is one of my favourites. Of all the things to say unexpectedly 😆
This poor soul. Not only does he have a mite infestation, he's stuck in a windowless box.
This is not a non-sequitur. They are talking about being out in the rain. The 3rd person is saying they didn't notice because they are in isolation. Seems like they are just moving the conversation along. I mean, how much more could you take it if you stick to simply talking about when it rained and when it didn't?
Way To Bring The Mood Down. Top Visible Comment On A Meme Posted By A Cat Based Meme Group
Because some people can't understand if a post is made that isn't immediately about them. Because if it relates in any small way to anything they can relate to, the can turn the spotlight towards themselves and be the attention vampires they truly are. Fairly certain this is the summary for the whole post.
Load More Replies...I'm a bit ashamed to admit there but I used to travel a ton for my job, and I'd call my dog, who was being watched by my neighbor. I'd leave a message and say hi to my dog. My neighbor said when I'd talk my dog would run over to the answering machine, sit, and wag her tail, listening to me speak. It made us both happy
Oh, aren't you lucky. I had a cat die when I was 10.
Load More Replies...First image that popped into my brain: Debbie Downer from SNL. I think the cat committed suicide just to escape the gloom.
I mean that’s sad, maybe he doesn’t have anyone to talk to about it.
My Friends Mom On Facebook Grossed Me Out With This One
"Her" toilet paper. Everyone has the capacity for grossness, but it clearly says it was their friend's mom.
Load More Replies...Are you hoping to learn something other senses can't tell you? Is it simply for your own enjoyment? Just curious.
I occasionally use it to determine my health. Gross, but useful. Helps me tell where I am on my period, or whether I'm dehydrated.
Load More Replies...Happy Birthday! Let Me Tell You About A Death In My Family!
It's the only normal thing to do on the day a loved one dies; you go online and find posts about the day and type away.
Load More Replies...My coworker is always so happy that I remember her sister's birthday - no, I am not especially attentive to detail, it just so happens that it is also the date my mother died. I will never EVER tell her that!
"and hope my dad made it to heaven ok" said that so casually like "yeah, sure, send me a text when you get there" - some people are so tone deaf, I swear lol
Strange, even rather cruel. But I'm gonna cut the guy some slack because his Dad just died yesterday?
I can kinda see the bitterness there, and the sour feeling from seeing others happy on the worst day of your life. But you shouldn’t post about it. If you don’t want to see posts like that, stay off social media for a while. It’s probably healthier in the long run anyway.
Yes Thank You For Explaining The Joke We Would Never Have Got It Without You
Totally unrelated - I met an old gentleman in a grocery store once who wore a shirt that said "If lost, please return to Margret." Several minutes later and in a completely different aisle I saw an old lady with a shirt that simply stated "I'm Margret." Made my day!
Or that’s his sister on the left and he likes his girlfriends old, just saying.
There's a lot of these explainer types on BoredPanda who point out the obvious. Oh, look at that, I guess I'm one of them now.
That's the comment I was going to make. _So_ often the top comment is someone explaining the already painfully obvious joke.
Load More Replies...Well done, Captain Obvious! Based on this display of pure genius, our training team has recommended you for solo assignments.
He Was Born In August
Why did i read every sentence in different voices becuase the text changes too
Walk away, I am a grumpy old man. I was born in March. I have severe flatulence and my sphincter has a hair trigger. Follow me at your own risk
Had to look up "sphincter" - uh, thanks, I guess? Learned a new word.
Load More Replies...Please…you know this is a dad who “hates” the cat while wrapping said cat in his/her/their favourite blankie.
And his granddaughter probably bought him the shirt
Load More Replies...And he's having a terrible time figuring out which Entenmann's pastry a Manly Macho Man should get...
Stop Having Fun At That Party With Your Friends And Family, And Check Out The Moon
Yet... he can't stick with his MOOOOON, goes online for rambling?
Load More Replies...I mean, the moon isn't exactly my favourite show and for the last few years they've just been showing re-runs but I do watch when there's nothing else.
Yeah, it's a bit monotonous, but the 'eclipse' special is a classic.
Load More Replies...Ugh, those spoilt little kids with their big fancy rocks in the sky. Back in the day, we didn't even need the Moon to be entertained, we just stared at a brick wall all day long and were happy!
I hear they are thinking about canceling the moon because of low viewership.
I quit watching because I got tired of all the commercials. Maybe if they made the moon ad-free!
Load More Replies...Saw This In A Facebook Comments Section
Matt is saying that something is so cute (probably a baby) that he grew ovaries just so they could explode. The person responding thinks that's funny and then mentions that they had a son also named Matt who passed away. This one is sad, and I don't think it belongs here.
Load More Replies...Let me explain: the person Matt saw some cute baby video. The baby in the video was so cute that Matt (as a male) grew ovaries and they exploded (due to cuteness overload). Basically it's just a hyperbole. The other commenter was rude
Were they rude or just sharing at an odd time? People who lose children sometimes mention them at what to us is odd times, but need to make these connections.
Load More Replies...How does one grow ovaries and have them explode? I don't understand even one part of this...
I thought it was a woman saying they got pregnant and their baby was very cute so they exploded.
Load More Replies...Someone Please Go Get Him
Some of these comments simply reinforce my low opinion on humans. RE toys: kids were tougher back in the day, so creepy toys were fine (LOL).
Then Why Would You Post A Comment, Christina?
This comment is at 67 up votes. LET MEH UPVOTE TWICE MORE WORLD!
Load More Replies...I remember that time I went to a website where people asked for solutions to their problems. I was up all night typing "I don't know" in every post.
I’ve been in the restaurant business for about 40 years and I can’t tell you how often I hear a customer ask “how’s the mahi-mahi?” only to hear the server say “Oh, I don’t eat fish”. Omfg, but your customers do, what do THEY say??
On A Post About Dogs
I wonder what he found that was previously unknown to man.
Load More Replies...Think he's related to Roman centurion and nobleman Biggus Dickus?
*Through crappy mic* SIR THIS IS A MCDONALDS DRIVE THRU DO YOU WANT THE HAPPY MEAL OR NOT?!
Found In The Latest Hot One’s Interview
This is weird... btw I identify as way too hungry to wait for lunch so I'm eating chips under the table
Speaking as a mother, I think they're wrong. Also, I think every argument can be improved, by prefixing it with "Speaking as a mother, ...".
i am gender fluid and all i can say is wtf. i promise not all of us randomly bring it up in conversation with no prompting lol.
Umm, say what? Ryan Reynolds has to be one of the funniest, most kind-hearted and charismatic human on the planet right now... also I like pizza.
Being gender fluid gives you LESS reason not to be into Ryan Renolds. I'm a cis male and frankly if Ryan Renolds was into it, I wouldn't say no. The man is charming and has abs sharp enough to grate cheese on.
“Not Relatable” At Least He Upvoted
Not relatable. My infinity gauntlet has square stone holes. But here's an upvote
Totally not relatable. I'm an AI-based synthezoid superhero powered by cosmic rocks and my mom's a purple genocidal tyrant, true, but she still uses a landline and her old Nokia.
Accurate meme. the charger we had yesterday was pretty much the only one so me and my sister were pretty much battling for it since our devices were real low lol. Mine was on like 1% and hers on 29%
I’m Here For The Game, Not Your Sons Bowel Movements
Is their tub brown? Cause I damn sure am not going to miss a fresh pile of human s**t in a white shower! I don't care how tired I am.
Load More Replies...A future serial killer, or some psychopath like Matt Gaetz or Ted Cruz I think.
Load More Replies...He should be of a reasonable age not to s**t in the tub, due to the content he's playing on the Switch.
Load More Replies...I have even less sympathy for stepping on a shower steamer than I do for people not checking if the toilet seat is down first and falling into the toilet. At some point you gotta take responsibility for where you put your own body parts.
I'm just wondering how you step in your kids feces every day, like, does he poop closer and closer to where you walk and is it still unexpected? Are you blind? Do you not look where you walk? After having stepped in feces multiple times, do you not check before going in the shower?
Have to have some visual and nasal obstructions to not see a darker colored substance and step in it, nor be able to smell it in the shower... Then you wonder if they got a magnifying glass to inspect it, with its vivid description.
Load More Replies...My Friend Who I Haven’t Talked To In Months Finally Texts Me About His Karma
And it's not... if they got 8k on a single post, then in order to have only 6k they have to have been very far in the negatives until that post (which from context I think we can assume is recent).
Load More Replies...Well, my heartfelt congratulations on your apparently biggest achievement in life! Let me get you a cookie to celebrate...
I have a 'friend' who makes a competition out of who reads a book faster. Some people... 🙄
Load More Replies...The important thing is people I don't know approve of me even though they know nothing about me.
This reminds me of those desperate guys who go thru their "little black book" calling all his exes for a date/hook up.
Ok, Genie
I won't, but this won't stop me from my toxic posts. BTW, boxers make excellent family pets.
I’m Not Even Sure What He Expected Somebody To Say
and everyone claps, one woman cried because she has never heard such beauty, one man asks you to give a wedding toast even though you barely game with him, you don't know how this happened, but you are humbled by their respect
Do people actually think others believe them when they write this stuff?
I remember a great confusion in an older online game because a quest NPC had the same voice as one of our team members and we kept messing things up because he found it funny to imitate the NPC.
Lol while talking to the mirror and winking and complimenting himself on his voice!
Load More Replies...ah, me too! according to the original poster on Reddit, "It’s legit almost 1000 comments of people roasting and posting memes"
Load More Replies...Did I also mention that I'm kind of a big deal ? I own many leather bound books, and my apartment smells of rich mahogany.
I am divorcing my partner of 20 years after reading the glory of your text and only now knowing what it is to truly fall in love. I orgasmed a bit just now fantasizing about you writing it by hand. Use cursive to do it and I'd already be carrying your baby.
What A Catch
Found This Gem On A Post From A Recipe Page
“Because it’s cheaper” would have been easier to write, fewer words.
Hard to imagine cans of soup cheaper than that.
Load More Replies...It looks like prison food. I’m looking for something to move in there.
i would make change. change the mushroom for ground beef, the sauce for some ketchup and i'd add some buns, oinion and some cheese and grill the ground beef on the BBQ with the buns.
Why do Americans make every stew, casserole or bake with 'cream of X soup'? Bleughh.
There was a big trend starting in the 50s for food companies to come up with easy recipes that you could use their products in. They'd print them in advertising or on the label. Campbell's soup did that a lot, so these sorts of recipes are pretty common. Not a thing I do and I'm American. I enjoy cooking and know how to make some decent sauces. However, some people don't. Or they do and sometimes want something fast they can throw together and pop in the oven on a weeknight. Other countries have convenience foods, too. We're hardly alone in that. For instance, I find the idea of powdered custard absolutely noxious. Its existence doesn't lead me to assume that Brits don't know how to make custard.
Load More Replies...That's not Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup. The mushrooms are too big. Campbell's mushrooms are diced.
Does it? It looks like a dog with gastrointestinal issues ate mushrooms and it came out the back end.
We're All For Growth, But This Is An Asmr Cooking Video
I think some people have extra profiles to like their own posts, then the chain reaction starts.
Load More Replies...Don't worry, I don't think that watching a video adds too many calories...?
Oh, I didn't know. Let me just throw away this batch of homemade cookies I just made, because god forbid I eat while you're on a diet.
Autonomous sensory meridian response--It's a calming sensory video.
Load More Replies...Take Notes
Kids, man. They're all idiots, at least those I've come in contact with. Even me.
My cat just dropped something while sitting on my lap. (Can't se what he dropped. Can't move! Cat is on my lap!)
Load More Replies...I Just Wanted To Play 8 Ball
And again, another woman who knows she has to walk on egg shells trying to deal with the possibility a man is interested in her, to keep herself safe. If that game invite came out of the blue I think she's being perfectly reasonable.
I agree that in some instances women do have to behave in the way you describe, but that's still a massive leap for you to make based on a single screenshot.
Load More Replies...this is the less weirdest i have seen so far... set your boundaries.. if you feel uncomfortable about weird messages say so and do not talk around the topic and leave room for interpretation... we don't know what happened between them and what the conversation was like before he asked a seemingly "harmless" question about gaming balls.
He asked if she wanted to play an online pool game. How much more innocent would you need him to be?
Load More Replies...Daniel, out of the blue, hits his ex up to play a game? Block this fool.
I know a "things that escalated quickly" article that this could have been added to
That Moment When He Doesn't Compliment You Back
Okay, unlike other I-have-a-boyfriend posts here, this one was really dumb.
This is really stupid (compared to the 8ball post) - she contacted him?
The Ladies Never Asked, Nor Did The Men Tbf
RIGHT? I've never seen a driveway or road sign like that in England.
Load More Replies...Either this post was intended for a different thread or it is a kind warning to give all the ladies time to run and hide.
Ha! What an idiot. What are the ladies supposed to do? Leave England?
Ok Neil
De definitely is not wrong. But he is very pretentious too.
Load More Replies...I tried to understood what I read, but it's in the inaccessible past. Along with all the reasons why I might have gotten up and walked into a room.
Pluto was never ours to give in the first place.
Load More Replies...In fairness, Tyson does tweet stuff that sounds like it belongs in a high schooler's notebook.
We cannot know the future, true, but I predict that 20 years from now, he'll remember that post and wince.
Roses are red, violets are violet. Sometimes Neil DeGrasse Tyson should stay quiet.
Not Even Sure What That Had To Do With The Image Tbh
That was wicked, you made me laugh against my will 😂
Load More Replies...To be fair, people with autism find it more difficult to pick up on non-linguistic cues online than those without autism. I know this because my sister is always asking me if someone is being serious or sarcastic.
Does A “Smarter Than You” Fact That Was Totally Useless To The Conversation, And Not Even A Correction Count?
Where I'm from (Louisiana)Sea food is anything that lives in water because you say I'm cooking some sea food you don't say I'm cooking some river food
Use a whole fresh salmon. Melt butter in a pan and add crushed garlic, about 1 clove, lemon juice and some salt. Slice some fresh lemon and chop some dill and basil. Stuff the salmon with the dill and basil and score the flesh and put some of the herb mix in. Add the lemon slices inside the fish and cut the rest in half to add to the scored areas. Pour on your sauce starting with some in the middle and then , on a piece of kitchen foil, pour some sauce mixture, put the salmon on top and drizzle the remaining sauce on top. Wrap the salmon and either bake it or barbecue it until it is cooked
I Have A Civic
I Mean, “I Can Help” Would Have Worked Too
Nice. And are you going to also follow me home to help me unload it, too? No? Then let’s wait until 4 PM when my friend who can gets off work.
Dude In The Red Was Literally Talking About A Mac And Cheese Recipe
Pretty sure they meant cheating on a diet, but hey cheating can only mean your uncle right?
Oh your poor great uncle's second wife. We're here for you, now that it's about you. Please, go on.
Why Laura
I’m with the answer on this one, this is stupid and perpetuating stereotypes.
I am also with the answer, I think she wants to say "Be grateful that you still have your husband, even if he's lazy" - sorry for explaining the obvious - comparing something you don't like about your SO to being widowed is really a bit harsh and rude to people who lost their partner.
Load More Replies...In many languages there is a term like "unwidowed widow", equivalent with desertion, from legal times when divorces were unobtainable (like Gräsänka in Swedish, Strohwitwe in German, Onbestorven in Dutch, ... ). That you can jokingly use in this situation.
I Bet His Parents Are Proud
Well, "poor driver" mostly, to get such a high quote you must have hit a number of kerbs and fenders.
Load More Replies...If you have to pay that much on insurance you're a very lousy driver with a lot of points on your drivers license for traffic offences.
Oh! We just have to not be poor! Thank goodness for this absolute legend.
Good For You?
Or the converse could also be true! Your man wants the PS5, because he’s already got the tools. :)
Load More Replies...I collect videogame consoles, my fiance collects videogame consoles. Totally happy he doesn't want to collect fixing tools nobody will ever use.
Some men do actually work with their tools and don’t just collect them. Some do that and play video games. Some murder children. My only problem with hobbies is that last one.
Load More Replies...I got the tools, I want the PS5. I'm just waiting for the black ones to become available.
Commented Under A Meme About Blunts
Just grow up kid, one of these days you'll be smart enough to laugh at this comment! Good luck. 😄
35 likes for this has just made me completely give up on humanity forever.
Yikes, Lady
Found her. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charity_Dean
Load More Replies...Garidleed Aw Man I Messed Up
For i and L I hit one key above, so I got 8 and o
Load More Replies...Maybe Go Somewhere Other Than A Meme Account For Your Relationship Problems
Am I the only one who tried to do to this before realizing I didn’t have enough fingers?
No. These are people actually born with six fingers.
Load More Replies...It's Just A Funny Meme Sharon...
And yet it seems to happen all the time, according to the internet.
How Inconsiderate
This Is A Girl With Almost 8 Million Subs On Youtube Btw
There are courses to fight this urge. https://cmaministry.org/how-to-train-dog-not-to-pee-in-elevator/
I dunno. I’m torn. On one hand… it’s TMI. On the other hand, if she legit has urinary incontinence… she’s bringing awareness to the fact that even movement, such as the jostling of an elevator stopping and going, can cause you to “leak.” She’s normalizing it for women who might have experienced this, which would not be a bad thing.
I'll never understand the urge to publicly display this sort of information (real or otherwise) for everyone to see. I just don't get it.
Incontinence doesn't care about how many followers you have. So sorry to hear that. I peed myself on purpose in 3rd grade, after not being allowed although it was urgent, and I wouldn't have lasted more than five more minutes anyway, and as I was sent home then, I decided to be sent home a few minutes earlier. And I wanted to cause trouble for the teacher refusing to let me go - no, nothing. Another time that effing with me was talked down into being some kind of minor nothing, and a minor case of that, where "nobody is guilty, but you should have gone in the break", which I had done. The laughing of my classmates didn't sound like a minor case ... the fun they made of me neither. "No relevant damage", just some laundry. And also - that day, I didn't look out of the window after finishing a stupid task, so some kind of punishment was overdue anyway ... and, did anyone want to know this?
This Was Posted In My Small Town’s Fb Group
As Seen On My Twitter Feed This Morning
Honestly I've found the acidity really helps with the limescale
Load More Replies...Fecking Grapes
I Just Wanted To Learn About Leeches
Well Here's A Fun Fact I Never Needed To Know
When
The Irony Lol
Someone Attention Seeking On A Tumblr Pov Meme Post
When you're walking and your ankle makes an attempt on your life so you end up here:
R/Murderedbywords
She's Sooooo Different
Stultus Es
Missed the joke so bad they can already see it coming back on their other side...
This Was After People Called Him Out For Saying Females Like It Rapey And He Was Banging Two Chicks At The Same Time
Haha Didn’t Steal
I Mean, You're Not Wrong... Just... Absolutely Nobody Asked For This
I think some people just can't pass a post without commenting.
This Dude Sounds Wounded
Dude, you've never seen your ex's vagina! You've never seen any vagina! If you had, you'd have some idea about how they work.
Again, this is a person who can't pass by a post without trying to add a "funny" comment. I may have been guilty of this in the past.
Very Specific Rebuttal To Dropping Coffee Nihilism
Somewhere somebody always has it worse than me - and still my feelings are valid and so are yours. I am sure this guy is tremendous fun at parties.
Can't Let A Man Celebrate!
I hate this, I hate how some ex-addicts cant just congratulate others on how long they've been sober, or just stfu and stop putting others down and make it seem like their effort isnt worth it because they havent been sober as long as them. One month? Good for you! Ten years? Good for you! Because every day youre sober is another victory.
Thanks Jimmy, We Definitely Needed To Know That
So he's probably got millions for an ad budget...and this was what was chosen? Really?
Fair Enough Mate
Found In The Reviews For A Phone Case. Last Night I Hook Up With A Girl
Thanks For Ruining It
Seriously, what kind of person dislikes bats? I'm always happy when I see them again, hunting around the street light in front of my house ... haven't seen them a few weeks, but as I work elsewhere, it may be due to that. I also might worry if they're ok, I haven't seen any since May or June. Seriously, bats are totally cool, in many ways, and as every animal - they just wanna live and get by... Leaving them alone, letting them be, is the lowest we owe to every single species on this earth.
Geocide? The murder of stones? Like the assassination of King Rocky The Rock, Rock King Of Rocktopia?
Hey, I Am A Speed Cuber! Guys! Anyone!?
Why do you think the original post is racist? I think the caption was quite funny and the picture is really sweet!
Load More Replies...I Missed The Part Where That's My Problem
i felt bad for the guy. how could you slap someone who just told you he loves you? i took courage to do that. but if she reacted like that she dodge a bullet
I would wonder about the actual words he used to confess to his crush. Maybe he said he loves her, maybe he said he'd like to do her and deserved a slap.
Load More Replies...Science Student Cringes At The Legitimate Use Of The Word Chemistry (In The Context Of Romantic Chemistry)
A Review For Multivitamins
Fr Tho
Premature ejaculation is an issue that affects lots of men, you should consult your doctor for advise!
Typical Cardi
Stay Classy
Most Comments Were Pretty Nice And Were About Actual Bananas But Then This Dude Decides To Come In
On A Sales Post For Pokemon Cards
The four Fs (basic and most primal drives): fighting, fleeing, feeding and matering.
This Is Art
Dude Posted This In A Facebook Group About "What People Are Wearing"
Alright Thank You Billy!
I said it before, I'll say it again: kids are idiots. But at that age, I find they should know better.
We Get It, You Have Sex
Don’t Know Where That Came From
Dad?
Found On A Super Mario 3D World Challenge Video
Sober? Great! Now Become Vegan!
This is wrong. I'm not saying being a vegan is wrong, I'm one and pretty convinced about it. But, this guy has other issues to take care of right now. For some, it may be a point in life where becoming a vegan is right, for some it isn't. Just brushing this adviece over anyone and everyone, at any time, does neither take into account what serious things a recovering addict is to do, has to do, nor does it take into account that being a vegan isn't just some deitary choice, or becoming one isn't a means of supporting other progress, but a serious decision in its own right. Also, does he even want to become one? If he expresses interest in it - offer support if you can and want. If he just gets by, day-to-day. People who haven't been there shouldn't feel entitled to give advice. They don't know, they just don't know, for they can't know. Veganism is great, there's a ton of reasons to it, but this isn't the time, place and situation in which advertising it is right.
If he just gets by, day-to-day ... I didn't end the sentence and ran out of space, so ... if he just gets by day-to-day, becoming a vegan would only make it worse. If he wants to ... fine, offer support. If you're into heavy advertising it, instead of convincing by cooking delicious stuff - fine with me, as I think industrial use of animals is wrong, I won't ever advise continuing it by any means, but look at who you're aiming at. Look at the situation they're in. Does this feel right? Also, it may cause more damage, to him and to the idea of veganism. If supporting a recovering addict isn't unconditional, it won't work. Also, it is hard enough without additional loads of work and transitions. Leave it be. Try again later. Support those who ask for it. Don't connect things that don't go with one another. Also - who says he isn't already? Addicts are persons in their own right, by no means less of a human than anyone else, and may have a set of values they beleive in and live by already
Load More Replies...Classic Response
Thats One Of The Funniest Facts I’ve Ever Heard
Fun fact: I actually f*cked a girl while someone I don't even know watched Ratatouille. At least, I am not able to prove otherwise, though I haven't even tried. And I do like the colour purple although I'm straight, and my cat pooped an hour ago, and my car has exactly four wheels, and ... and ... lamps emit light, you know ... Smoking requires being able to handle fire ... I ate rice, once, and then the next day, I ate rice, again, but differently, so it didn't get boring ... where were we? Oh, and I have fingernails that bear no specialties in them, but are just regular and cut pretty short. Anyone cares, still? I have seen a bird a few seconds ago. In front of my window. It's a birdwatching device now, I guess ... or something ... hell, not even I care about any of this.
Stumbled Into This Gem
Sometimes I cannot differentiate these "woke" people from fundamentalist extremists by their views on things.
Debated Posting Here Or R/Ihavesex
It's pretty depressing to see that despite all the information at our fingertips these days, people still think socialism equals communism. But then again, ditching school and shagging, good times. Uhh I mean kids stay in school, and do not do this.
Ah, Facebook. A Breeding Ground For Creeps (The Comment)
.....what The F**k
Unless the sister is living in an Amish community, it doesn't take a psychic to see there will be some awkward family dinners in the future.
Scrooge
Fml
Unconditional Love
Bruh! Why?
Kids also watch the... *ahem* "Content" that has been generated on YouTube Kids.
Load More Replies...February 29th
50 Big Macs
Found On A "Day In A Life" Video Of A Japanese Youtuber
This Was Posted Under An Article About Disney Animation
And if I watch your life in fast-forward, the people on social media will help you learn your place too!
She breaks up with the prince, then gives him a shoe, goes dancing with him, gets a fairy godmother to turn her ballgown into rags, moves back in with her abusive stepfamily for a bit, then she gets a little younger, her stepfamily moves out and her parents come back to life, IIRC.
And if you play Trumps life fast forward you discover that his life will end like it started. As an entitled toddler who needs to have his diapers changed regularly.
Actually, backwards the story would be: She leaves her husband, he tries to buy her love with shoes, she moves in with her stepmother and stepsiblings, get's abused until she reunites with her father and is happy again.
Anyone read the french books by Comtesse de Segur? Feels the same at the end of most of them.
Her place is being a slave in her own house? I mean, that's literally her property.
They Had Me In The First Half, Ngl
Tried a jalapeno, had to switch to popsicles afterwards...
Load More Replies...Thanks For The Update!
I Wish You Were Joking Too, Buddy
Thank You Casanova, Very Cool
Wow, That's Neat
Ma'am
To all those people who asked how to behave more like a guy? Don't do it this way.
Ma’am Please There’s Children On Board
Bro Huuuuuhh??
Nice. And, never forget that you need two pairs of socks, right? I mean, keeping such an immense ... Maximus Apparatus Dickus - Enlarged - Ulitimate Penetraitor ... a so-called "MADE UP", warm is kinda important, as we're like kinda about to enter winter, ... said horse-sized most significant part of you shall not be compromised by cold shrinking - who bears 10 inches in his pants can never afford losing even 1/128" of it.
First Thing I See On Facebook This Morning
His Fingers Can Do A Lot
A guy who knows only a squeeze grip won't be as flexible as a pianist.
Load More Replies...I Assume They Pay For Both Activities
Well Then... Thanks For That Information I Guess? Happy Birthday?
Thanks For The Recipe I Guess
Seen On A Post About Small People
This Was On A Funny Spongebob Comic About Plankton And His Wife
Found On R/Gatekeeping. Thought It Would Be Appropriate Here Too
Dude Tries To Educate Tom Brady On How To Stay Healthy
Neil Degrasse Tyson
thats what he has the problem with not the fact she has ice powers and the talking snowman
That's because the ice powers are cool (see what I did there)
Load More Replies...You’re right: nobody asked, cause they’re smart enough to realize she’s a f*****g cartoon.
Look NDT's Twitter is all about random ramblings. I don't see how this fits onto this list.
What The F**k
On A Slime Vid
Have you heard of slime? Like on Nickelodeon? Have you heard of videos? People like to watch strange things. Visual fidget spinner.
Load More Replies...A Reply To My Shower Thought, Please Explain?
The Facebook Rabbit Hole Wields Cringey Rewards
He Even Acknowledges That Nobody Asked
Guys’ He’s Not Even Seen The Movie!😳 Kinda Cringe Ngl
Appreciate You Letting Me Know
I had to google "smegma"... Yuck, I did not even know it existed...
tell us what it is so we don't have to look it up
Load More Replies...A Gem I Found
Posted At 10 In The Morning
Probably these: "dude, nobody asked", "I'll join you", "wtf", "good to know", and "nobody wants to hear about your porn addiction"
Load More Replies...For The Aesthetic
Found This On Instagram... But Why?
F**kboi
Au contraire. Attractive assholes are precisely the opposite of incels.
Load More Replies...Thanks Youtube
Most Comments Were Pretty Nice And Were About Actual Bananas But Then This Dude Decides To Come In
Me too! I thought of that while having a dump!
Load More Replies...I do not understand this obsession with sharing about absolutely everything online. Bathroom habits? sexual habits? fantasies? periods? pimples? rows with family and friends? relationship stuff? nothing is off limits and I don't understand it at all.
Load More Replies...I'm actually starting to wonder how many of these are bots, trolls, attention seekers, or people who just aren't familiar with how social media works....
By far my favorite was the weird old toy doll post and someone replying about having a small white dog. Wtf is going on? Made me laugh/cry and I don't know why. I'm ashamed of how tickled it made me
Let's be honest, a good chunk of people share way too much online. A lot of media stories are things we don't need to know about celebs.
It's almost Hallowe'en (I assure you, that's the correct spelling; look it up) and none of these are Hallowe'en themed. I was almost an editor, but I got a better job. Now, I drive a BMW.
My birthday is Jan 26. Was having a nice birthday until some clown dmed me on twitter a few minutes before midnight. The awesome message they sent me was a screenshot of one of many articles talking about Kobe Bryant's death, as if it was my fault that he died. Just had to end my birthday on a sour note, I guess.
Me too! I thought of that while having a dump!
Load More Replies...I do not understand this obsession with sharing about absolutely everything online. Bathroom habits? sexual habits? fantasies? periods? pimples? rows with family and friends? relationship stuff? nothing is off limits and I don't understand it at all.
Load More Replies...I'm actually starting to wonder how many of these are bots, trolls, attention seekers, or people who just aren't familiar with how social media works....
By far my favorite was the weird old toy doll post and someone replying about having a small white dog. Wtf is going on? Made me laugh/cry and I don't know why. I'm ashamed of how tickled it made me
Let's be honest, a good chunk of people share way too much online. A lot of media stories are things we don't need to know about celebs.
It's almost Hallowe'en (I assure you, that's the correct spelling; look it up) and none of these are Hallowe'en themed. I was almost an editor, but I got a better job. Now, I drive a BMW.
My birthday is Jan 26. Was having a nice birthday until some clown dmed me on twitter a few minutes before midnight. The awesome message they sent me was a screenshot of one of many articles talking about Kobe Bryant's death, as if it was my fault that he died. Just had to end my birthday on a sour note, I guess.
