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We may think that tucking away our feelings leads to a better career but that is usually not the case. Programming yourself into a senseless robot that cares only about CTR and ROI actually causes OMG FML.
To paraphrase researcher Sigal Barsade, we bring our brain to work and our brain brings emotions to work. Learning to manage the most challenging ones takes effort, but the payoff is huge—we learn to deal with problems before they overwhelm us. We don't get frustrated. We don't burn out. Instead, we become better team players and increase our sense of control.
Liz Fosslien and Mollie West Duffy share this sentiment. The co-authors of No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power Of Embracing Emotions At Work think we should acknowledge our feelings in the office, not suppress them. We should try to understand the valuable data within us, and then sometimes act on it.
To make their point, Liz also creates comic-charts. The playful, comprehensive pictures perfectly portray everyday work life, the key concept the duo believe in, and how these two things come together. Continue scrolling and take a look.
More info: lizandmollie.com | ETSY | Instagram | Facebook | Twitter
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Adulthood
N G 4 years ago
Where's household chores? That's separate from work. Care responsibility? Unless that's under family, I suppose.
Rissie 4 years ago
These are the fun things, because if chores an responsibilitues, you only get three. According to the drawing.
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Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 4 years ago
Yeah work and sleep are automatic. So it is really pick one.
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Wendillon 4 years ago
It's not just America. I'm South African and I"m lucky if I get to pick 3 of these in a standard week.
Load More Replies...Liz Fosslien leads Content at Humu, where she helps leaders and their teams take small steps towards profound improvement. Prior to joining Humu, Liz designed and led workshops for executives at Google, Facebook, and Nike on how to create inclusive cultures. Her writing and data visualization projects have appeared in CNN, The Economist, The Financial Times, and NPR. She starts the day by eating plain Greek yogurt and reading academic abstracts.
Mollie West Duffy leads Organizational Development at RALLY, and was previously an Organizational Design Lead at global innovation firm IDEO. Mollie also worked as a research associate for the Dean of Harvard Business School. She has helped companies of all sizes to develop good workplace culture. Her writing has been featured in Fast Company, Quartz, Entrepreneur, Quiet Rev and other digital outlets, and she's taught design courses at Stanford and USC. Mollie loves personality tests.
RELATED:
#2
Feeling Low On Bad Days Is Okay. Just Don’t Forget To Look Back On How Far You’ve Come
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
And whenever you have a good day, remember how shitty your life has been on a whole.
#3
Often We Push Off Our To-Dos Not Because We’re Lazy But Because We’re Afraid Of Failing, Or We Feel Overwhelmed, Or We Don’t Think We’re Good Enough So Why Even Bother Starting..a Few Strategies I’ve Found Helpful Are
1) To Say, “I’m Going To Do This For Just Five Minutes, And Then I Can Stop.”
2) To Figure Out The Smallest First Step, And Then Commit To A Time When I’ll Do It, And
3) Switching From Thinking “What If This Fails?” To “What If This Succeeds?” And Then Getting Excited
Hans 4 years ago
Procrastination can turn towards an illness. Many universities have units to care for such cases nowadays, as excessive procrastination can be a warning sign.
Giles McArdell 4 years ago
You mean like continuously scrolling through Bored Panda.
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Megan Gustafson 4 years ago
I've found it really helps me to ask - why am I procrastinating on this task? What feelings am I worried it will reveal? Even just putting a reason to the procrastination helps motivate me to get started. The shame of procrastination (assuming you are lazy) contributes to the paralysis.
Crazy Meerkat Lady 4 years ago
They forgot to add "I'm not in the mood" and "doing something more enjoyable at the moment"
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
I procrastinate because as long as I do not try I am technically not failing yet.
Their relationship started when the women were set up on a blind friend date after Liz moved to New York City and felt lonely. At the time, Mollie was writing articles about workplace culture and organizational design, and Liz was riding the highs and lows of a startup and creating illustrations based on her experience. "We decided it might be fun to try working on a project together, and we've been collaborating ever since!" the duo told Bored Panda.
"The topics we write about stem from our similar personalities and interests: we are both introverted, creative people who have studied and worked in the traditional business world. We've both experienced ups and downs as we navigated our career paths and have relied on introspection and emotional intelligence to help us choose the right roles and projects," they explained.
#4
Be Kind...
Tami 4 years ago (edited)
It's so cool that the younger generations these days are so much better at acknowledging mental health issues than older generations. My parents were always like 'what have you got to cry about, suck it up', so it felt not okay to admit weakness, mental or physical. Looking back, I realize I suffered from social anxiety and depression starting around age 4, always afraid of new situations and people. Folks just thought I was "shy", and they thought it was cute or something. Not cute from my end, painful and debilitating in ways I didn't realize until I was older. So bravo young people, don't be afraid to acknowledge and deal with your issues so you can explore life and your talents to the utmost!
Rissie 4 years ago
It matters in your expectations. You don't need the details to stay considerate to people around you
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#5
Not The Same, Thank You To Those Who Understand
River Webb 4 years ago
your right those two are very different things, sometimes people need to just sit down and recollect their thoughts and that should be totally ok
Joanna Stasiołek 4 years ago
As an introvert I need sometimes time alone to recharge batteries, I like spending time with people but at some point my social battery gets low.
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
It is not "what some people hear" it is "what some jerks pretend they hear so they can have an excuse to treat you like crap".
Tami 4 years ago
Sure feels that way sometimes! I think some of those 'jerks' are very insecure themselves, so if you're not falling all over yourself to hang out with them, they get offended and lash out in anger.
Load More Replies... Claire Elizabeth 4 years ago
i used to have a friend who took it VERY personally when I told her that I just wanted to be alone for a while. I'm definitely more introverted, and after long days of seeing lots of people, all I want to do is lay in my bed and watch netflix or read a good book
#6
What Stage Are You? I Am A Potato
Liz and Mollie think a lot of our emotional problems come from outdated teachings telling us that to be a professional, we must never fail, fuss, or feel. "That's a ridiculous idea: if you're a human, you're going to have emotions, whether you're watching a sad movie, hanging out with your friends, or (you guessed it) on the job," Liz and Mollie said. "Even when we hear the phrase 'emotion at work,' we tend to think of career milestones: job interviews, salary negotiations, and annual reviews. But you've probably felt just as intensely about day-to-day, seemingly mundane events."
#7
A Little Kindness During A Difficult Time Can Go Along Way. And That Includes Being Kind To Yourself
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I have been a terrible friend of late. I am not really communicating or instigating convo, I am not actively organising to catch up and make excuses not to. I know I need to do better but I just can’t seem to get out of my funk.
#8
Sometimes, The Answer Is Just To Sleep On It (If You Can). When We’re Tired, Everything Tends To Feel Worse. This Doesn’t Apply To Every Problem, But Generally Getting The Rest You Need Will Help You Tackle Even The Biggest Challenges
Sum Guy 4 years ago
Sleep is always the answer... The problem is getting to sleep when you have the problem
Sofiia Melnikova 4 years ago
Or unless going to sleep is the problem that worries you
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Melanie King 4 years ago
This also works the in another way: when your sleep deprived, something may SEEM like a good idea but then the next morning...
Cooky Puss 4 years ago
I can drink coffee anytime of day and snuggle in for nap slash sleep... problems get large at night cause you know.... as you get older the memories and rap tap tap on my chamber door...... the problems get bigger at night cause of alcohol and they are null in the morni g cause... whew you made it haha
#9
Tag Someone Who Gets It
Randolph Croft 4 years ago
Just don't word it like: "Being with you is just as good as being alone." Take my word for it. Just don't.
"You're thrilled to receive a thumbs-up emoji from the CEO in response to your Slack comment, you're infuriated when a colleague interrupts you for the fifth time, and you fret over whether you need to immediately reply to a work email that appears in your inbox on a Saturday evening. That's all normal. And figuring out what to do with those feelings starts with accepting and acknowledging them."
Emotions at work get a bad reputation because we so often suppress them, Liz and Mollie said, instead of dealing with an issue when it's small and manageable, our feelings fester and come surging out as tears or anger or in some other, unhealthy way.
#10
Week
Sum Guy 4 years ago
You know last year deep in lockdown, I woke up on a Sunday and went to my desk ready for work
Wendillon 4 years ago
Honestly I'd rather get ready for work on a Sunday than forget to get ready on a Monday
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Phoebe Bean 4 years ago
My Tuesday this week was actually Thursday... and today (Sunday) I woke up convinced it was Saturday.
Ami Ainsworth 4 years ago
One time, waaay before covid, I fell asleep on the couch and ended up sleeping there through the night. I woke up at 7:30 am, panicked because I was supposed to be walking out the door for work at that time, got fully dressed and was brushing my teeth before I realized it was Sat and I didn't have to work that day
#11
Just A Few Gentle Reminders: You Are More Than What You Make, You Are More Than Your Level Of Productivity, And You Are More Than A Specific Title Or Job. During Times Of Economic Uncertainty, It’s Easy To Focus All Your Energy On Work. Make Sure You’re Taking A Step Back Now And Then To Remind Yourself Of Everything Else About You And Your Life That Matters
Ozacoter 4 years ago
But what makes you worthy when you cannot work, study, follow your hobbies o barely do housechores?
Satirical Duchess 4 years ago
Lol, imagine saying "When she said you aren't what you earn, that was bullshite" then turn straight around and say "oh, I guess you aren't really what you earn" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN
Load More Replies... #12
Useful Tips
Martha Meyer 4 years ago
Taking deep breaths, or worse listening to my heartbeat, has never worked for me. Just makes it worse.
Caffeinated Hedgehog 4 years ago
Instructions unclear... I summoned a furry friend to vanquish my enemies and hugged a dark spirit..
Biana Vacker 4 years ago
Does Vespera count as a dark spirit? If so, maybe Lady Gisela needs more therapy then we thought...
Aroace tiger 4 years ago
There seems to be an odd one out here puzzles are really hard not everyone can do those you know.
Siddharthkrishna Kodathala 4 years ago
Omg! That dark spirit thing is a connection to death note!
And it's not like the pandemic has been helpful too. "So many people we've spoken with have experienced burnout over the last year (especially working mothers; nearly 1 million working moms have dropped out of the workforce altogether)," Liz and Mollie said.
They highlighted that work can be stressful on its own, but the pandemic has added an extra layer of anxiety and uncertainty to everything. "One trend we've noticed is that people aren't taking breaks anymore. Data shows messages sent after normal work hours have doubled, and people are working three times as much as they used to over the weekend. And no one wants to take vacation days, because there's nothing to do. We've both tried to put healthy practices in place, like disconnecting from our devices completely one day of the weekend."
#13
We All Have Days When It’s Harder To Make Progress Than Others. In Moments When I’m Struggling To Focus Or I’m Not Moving As Quickly As I Think I Should Be, I Take A Deep Breath And Remind Myself That Moving Forward Slowly Is Still Moving Forward. It’s A Global Pandemic! Give Yourself Grace
Wendillon 4 years ago
Also don't do your best every day, you'll burn yourself out. Allow yourself a few days where you only do enough.
Salty Old Woman 4 years ago
I wish I could like this comment more than once.
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#14
Tag Someone Who Is Always On Your Team
#15
How I Handle Tasks
Random Anon 4 years ago
Don't worry eventually you will ease into this phase in life where nothing is urgent unless someone is dying or the house is on fire. Some people call it being jaded but I think it is a matter of perspective. You see things go wrong often enough and the world didn't end. So it stands to reason whatever you aren't doing, isn't going to cause anything catastrophic.
Ara Noguera 4 years ago
I agree with you. Life definitely teaches perspective. Also what used to be urgent or important changes over time. However "something catastrophic" might be different for everyone.
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#16
Some Emails Are Stressful, No Matter What. Others Are *unnecessarily* Stressful. For The Sake Of The People You’re Emailing, Remember To Emotionally Proofread Your Messages Before You Hit “Send”! Have You Given Full Context? Is Your Intended Tone Clear? How Would You Feel If You Received The Same Email?.writing “Let’s Talk” When You Mean “These Are Good Suggestions, Let’s Discuss How To Work Them Into The Draft” Will Make The Recipient Anxious Where They Don’t Have To Be...
Melanie King 4 years ago
Heh it doesn't matter how I word it... asking for help in an email is always WAYYYYYY harder than it should be (at least for me)
Calvin Suzuki 4 years ago
This is me when the school counselor emailed me saying they knew I looked up depression /._./
Crazy Meerkat Lady 4 years ago
My dad phoning me to ask when I'm stopping by because "we need to talk" Me having a mini panic attack for 2 days, just to get there and find he meant talk as in catch up a bit, oh and also I need to help him with his internet banking....
Psychologists are also reporting a rise in “pandemic burnout”. Many people find the current phase of lockdowns harder, with an increasing number feeling worn out and unable to cope.
They warn that many are finding the latest lockdown more difficult because of the realization that coronavirus will stay around longer than expected. This period of dashed hopes and sustained stress is similar to overwork, which has prompted symptoms such as fatigue.
In the UK, for example, 60% of people are struggling more to stay positive daily compared with before the pandemic – an 8-point increase from November, an Ipsos Mori survey found.
#17
An Apology Should Contain Three Things:
1) An Acknowledgement Of What Happened, That Shows You Clearly Understand Why The Other Person Is Upset
2) An Actual Apology, As In “I’m Sorry” Period, Not “I’m Sorry You Feel Like...”
3) A Clear Outline Of The Steps You’ll Take To Make Sure The Situation Doesn’t Happen Again In The Future
Hans 4 years ago
I think more important than these three is to show empathy for what your action might have done to the other person...you can apologize even if you did not do a mistake but your action still made someone miserable.
Wendillon 4 years ago
Yes empathy is important, but if you don't add an actual "I'm sorry" to your apology then it really wasn't an apology. There's a rather big difference between "I understand why that made you mad" and "I'm sorry, I understand why that made you mad".
Load More Replies... Nadine Debard 4 years ago
This is very important in all your relationships, but don't forget to do the same at work. Everybody makes mistakes, and being able to recognize them and to apologize when needed is a big strength. It make your relationships far much healthy and good. Also, recognizing errors allows to improve the way you're working.
Laura Maeflower 4 years ago
Just as there are love languages there are apology languages. Really helped me and my husband make up faster.
Paul Budhram 4 years ago
My mom has us do: I'm sorry for XXX, In the future I will do XXX, Do you forgive me?
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
Does "I am sorry you wrongly felt like I owed you an apology" work too ?
#18
You Can See Your Mistakes As A Waste Of Time, Or As The Valuable Lessons They Are
Giles McArdell 4 years ago
Agree with this. I have always felt you actually learn more from a failure than a success.
#19
Remember Your Career Is A Marathon, Not A Sprint. To Be Successful In The Long Run, It’s Just As Important To Take Time To Care For Yourself As It Is To Focus On Your Work
Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago
I personaly think that sleep should be the biggest. 1) because I'm lazy. 2) Because I haven't had sleep for 5 days in a row. 3) I need sleep to be productive!!
#20
Nothing Like Hitting Someone’s Voicemail Or A Cancelled Video Call
If all of this hits you too close to home, give yourself permission to have feelings, and to have needs. Even at work. Deep breath, Liz and Mollie said, it's okay.
"Quick note: we're not saying you should become a feelings firehose and express every emotion that pops into your head," they added. "But if you're feeling overloaded, acknowledge that. And then ask yourself: is there anything within my control that I can do to feel better? Can I cancel any upcoming meetings to give myself more heads-down time? Can I talk to my manager about re-prioritizing some tasks? And if you need a break, take a day off! Watch Netflix, or go for a hike, or read a good book. Just do it. Chances are you'll feel better—and be a better employee—for it."
Speaking of books. Currently, Liz and Mollie are working on their second title that's focused on really hard emotions, like perfectionism, despair, and comparison-induced anxiety. No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power Of Embracing Emotions At Work was selected as a Best Book of the Year by NPR and Fortune, and I'm positive this will be just as engaging.
#21
I Keep Waking Up At 5am, I’d Love To Have A Very Boring Week Soon Thanks
Daisyflame4901 4 years ago
people are somewhere in between because everyone thinks differently and your "amazing" could be someone else's "horrible".
#22
Even Within Small Teams, The Challenges Each Person Facies Will Likely Vary Dramatically, And Change From Day-To-Day. Some Might Be Coping With Loss, Many Are Learning To Balance Homeschooling With Remote Work, And Still Others Might Feel Isolated. And Let’s Not Forget: Back-To-Back Zoom Calls Can Be Exhausting!.that’s Why It’s More Important Than Ever To Make All Social Events (E.g. Virtual Happy Hours) Opt-In. It’s Great To Connect With Others, And Also Ok If Some People Just Need Time For Themselves
#23
What Is Your Introvert Love Language?
Freya the Wanderer 4 years ago
I was about to write "...and your cat in your lap."
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Hufflepuff 4 years ago
What I learned about myself over quarentine is that I actually really love contact, and being around people, I just don't like being the center of someone's attention. So I don't like hanging out one on one with someone, but I love being in groups, like at a party, the lunch table, or gymnastics practices, where I get to feel included and wanted without always having to think of what to say and do, and I have no idea if that makes me an introvert or an extrovert. Oh, also, I absolutely adore physical contact, like hugs, high fives, holding hands with someone, etc.
Laura Maeflower 4 years ago
I'm an introvert. I wouldn't put these at the top of my list, but they're not wrong either.
#24
The Best Way I’ve Found To Get Myself To Sit Down And Write That Long, Stressful Email Or Make The Phone Call I’ve Been Putting Off Is To Ask Myself, “Do You Want To Be Anxious About This For Days Or Just Be Done With It?” It Still Doesn’t Work Every Time Lol, But Usually It’s The Gentle Push I Need
Salty Old Woman 4 years ago
Wow, now that is some of the most helpful advice I've heard in a long time! Thank you for this. I have anxiety, and this will actually help me!
Freya the Wanderer 4 years ago
Possibly the best of the bunch! I make myself do unpleasant things, such as cleaning the cat box, this way.
#25
Research Shows That Women Are Asked To Take On “Non-Promotable” Tasks (Think Organizing Office Parties Or Mundane, Routine Work) More Often Than Men, And That They’re More Likely To Yes When Asked..the Best Leaders Are Aware Of These Inequities And Try To Distribute Tasks More Fairly. Have You Seen This Happen?
Vera 4 years ago
I know this is hard, but you need to be proactive and either snatch or create projects for yourself that contribute to promotion. I also explicitly refuse to participate in thankless tasks unless these have at least 50% male participation. Eventually colleagues and bosses learn that they can't take advantage of me that way. It also helps to save time and focus on the actual work.
Persp Gold 4 years ago
ok, so all women are just doing things wrong. thanks for the advise and blame on this comic?
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#26
The Advice To “Be Kind” Also Applies To How You Treat Yourself! We’re Often Harder On Ourselves Than We Are On Those Around Us, And We Tend To Compare Our Weaknesses To Other People’s Strengths. So The Next Time You’re Feeling Glum, Show Yourself Some Compassion
#27
If You’ve Been Here Too
#28
Just Some Classic Poses
#29
People Often Talk About Relationship (Platonic Or Romantic) Red Flags; What Are Your Relationship Green Flags?
ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago
I feel sorry for color blind people...they can't tell if they're red flags or green flags.
ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago
Which one is the fourth one? And how should it be different? And why were you downvoted??
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Helen Haley 4 years ago
Says exactly what they mean and means what they say. I am horrible at hints/inuendos/suggestions. Just tell me. Then I have the freedom to negotiate, agree, or decline. Feels way less manipulative.
#30
2020
#31
Love You Extroverts But... Serious Question. Happy Three Day Weekend!
#32
Emails
Shelli Aderman 4 years ago
I’m Shelli with an “I,” and I can’t tell you the amount of emails that are replied to me with “ShellY,” or “ShellIE,” etc., and 😰
littlesaresare 4 years ago
My name is Sarah, one of the most popular names in the Latin world. And yet somehow people still frequently write my name as Shara, Sahara, Sahra, Saran, Sara, Saarh, etc. And then when my last name was Butler, I got a lot of Buttlers, Bulters, etc. Even on official documents. It's just sheer laziness that people cannot be bothered to get a name right. I feel for all you people who have actually uncommon names and the disrespect you deal with.
Freya the Wanderer 4 years ago
I have a rare name, which occasionally is taken for one that sounds similar and is more common.
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#33
Sometimes We Burn Out Because We’re Making Ourselves Overly Available, Or Because We’ve Set Unrealistic Expectations For Ourselves. If You’re Feeling Stretched Too Thin, Take A Look At Your To-Do List (That Includes Social Events And Time You’ve Blocked Off To Work On Side Projects) And Cross Two Non-Urgent Things Off. You Can Always Come Back To Them, But Giving Yourself A Bit More Breathing Room Can Go A Long Way Towards Helping You Feel Better
Ozzie Ogawa 4 years ago
At least they are not like my parents. They expect me to do badly and will always get dissapointed of how good was i did. Once got 3rd best finals test result from the whole school back in highs school, all i heard from them was "stupid".
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Take Care Of Yourselves This Week It’s Okay To Have Boundaries
#35
Reminder As We Head Into The Week (From Someone Who Worked All Weekend And Feels Burnt Out Already ), You Need To Rest. Progress Happens One Step At A Time, With Breaks In Between
Freya the Wanderer 4 years ago
And occasionally there is some regression, depending on the project.
#36
The Next Time You React Strongly To Someone’s Actions, Take A Moment To Reflect:
What Can You Do To Move Forward? Can You Let The Other Person Know That They’ve Upset You, And Share What To Differently Next Time? Can You Talk To A Trusted Confidante About The Situation? Or Do You Need To Distance Yourself (Maybe Permanently) From That Person?.you’ll Never Be Able To Fully Control The Actions Of Others, But You Can Make Setting Boundaries And Practicing Self-Care A Priority
Daisyflame4901 4 years ago
your control over your response is determined by the amount of self-control you have
Wendillon 4 years ago
thankfully we can build up our self-control over time
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JLaw 4 years ago
I've had to learn that I can't control how some people are, how they act, what they say, but I can control how I respond. It's hard, but so worth it. ( Not always bitching about said person is important too. Get over it. The other person has no idea how you feel, and probably doesn't care, why should you.)
Foxxy (The Original) 4 years ago
I have pretty crap control. I am an emotional and reactive person. I know I need to change as it is not healthy for me or others.
#37
Especially If You Are A Manager Or A Leader, Please Make It A Point To Recognize What’s Going On In The World, Take Action, And Give People The Space And Time They Need Right Now
#38
Welcome To The Week
Levels of irony 4 years ago (edited)
Ye this happens when ur having test that the teacher announce before the next lesson
#39
Tag Someone Who Makes You Feel Amazing For Being You
ispeak catanese 4 years ago
Thank goodness for the people who love us in spite of ourselves. It's always amazing when you have them in your life. If you think about it, I'm sure there are a few you love unconditionally too. Love is like that.
Crazy Meerkat Lady 4 years ago
And then someone you trusted takes out the shears and you start again.....
#40
Earl Grey 4 years ago (edited)
Frankly, I think the labels should be reversed. “Who I think I should be” is the person laboring against the heavy load. The rock is really who you are, “Who I am,” which is the load on your shoulders that is troubling your mind. You are that rock, and the rock is solid and just fine as it is. Allow your expectations to step out of the way to let the rock (you) find its own level.
Cara Strong 4 years ago
Yes!!! Who I am: a bubbly extravert Who I want to be: A lone wolf who knows everything about nature
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#41
A Reminder To Be Kind
Glory The Rainwing 4 years ago
I feel this. I see someone and they look like they slept for ages. And then there's me. The exhausted one who isn't afraid to show or say it.
ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago
This is the same thing as the other one, except the labels are different.
#42
Ask For The Thing You’ve Been Meaning To Ask For, Send That Email You’ve Been Nervous About, Or Reach Out To Someone You Admire. You Never Know What Might Happen!
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
Most of the possibilities if you ask are rejection, humiliation, punishment and judgment, though.
Nadine Debard 4 years ago
If it's true you should seek new acquaintances... Because your actual ones seem to suck...
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#43
I Need Vacation Inspiration! What Are Your Quarantined Holiday Plans?
#44
Remember: Your Negative Thoughts Are Not Inevitable Truths. If You Catch Yourself Thinking "Always" Or "Never" (E.g. "I'll Never Be Good At This"), Your Self-Reflection Has Likely Turned Self-Destructive. Take A Moment To Reframe The Situation: Think Of One Small Step You Can Take To Improve And To Feel Better. And Then Remind Yourself Of All That You Do Well
Ryan Deschanel 4 years ago
Rejecting your negative thoughts (which are always inevitable truths) is the best way to hope, try, fail, be disappointed, hope again, try again, fail again, be disappointed again... and to get stuck in a permanent toxic self-blaming.
#45
This Is Why I Like Scheduling Stressful Things In The Morning. Anyone Else? Have You Found Any Ways To Combat This Tendency?
Tigersquid Kittydoggy 4 years ago
This always happens to me! Even when something I’m happy or excited about is coming up, I will still stress about it!
Dahungryfella 4 years ago
This is a thing! You are also more productive in the mornings which leads to you making better informed decision. Anything challenging, i schedule in the mornings if i can.
Freya the Wanderer 4 years ago
I prefer to get unpleasant and potentially unpleasant things over with as early as possible. Often the anticipation is worse than the actual event.
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Salty Old Woman 4 years ago
I'm not a morning person, and have trouble doing the tough stuff first thing. I wish I could help with this.
#46
When I Was Going Through A Hard Time In High School, My Biology Teacher Once Pulled Me Aside After Class And Said, “I Just Want To Check-In On You And Let You Know If You Ever Want To Talk To Someone, I’m Happy To Listen.” I Never Took Them Up On It, But I Still Remember That Act Of Kindness..you Never Know How Much A Seemingly Small Gesture Could Mean To Someone. And Science Shows That One Act Of Kindness Can Kick Off A Virtuous Cycle Of Compassion. Today, Do One Nice Thing For Someone Else. It Won’t Cost You Much, And It Might Make Their Day
#47
What’s Your Fav? And Yes, An Introvert Hangover Is A Thing! Happens When You Wake Up After A Day Full Of Meetings Or Socializing Feeling Exhausted, Anxious, Or Just Mentally Frazzled
#48
Stop Comparing Your Weaknesses To Other People’s Strengths!
#50
So Far 2021 Is Just Nonstop Blocks Piling Up Too Fast
#51
When Art Imitates Life. I’m Ready To Travel And See My Family And Have My Friends Over For Indoor Dinner Again K Thx
#54
Drew This A While Ago, But Relevant Now. Stay Home!!
#55
It’s Thanksgiving Week In The Us, Which Means The Big Theme Of The Week Is Gratitude. The Holidays This Year Might Be Hard, As Many Of Us Won’t Be Able To Celebrate With Our Loved Ones..this Week, Be Especially Kind To Yourself, And Take Some Time To Reflect On All The Reasons You’re Grateful That You’re You. When We Think Of Gratitude, We Often List Out The People Or External Events That Make Us Happy. And That’s Wonderful! But It’s Also Important To Remind Yourself Of All The Things You’ve Done, How Far You’ve Come, And Why, Even On Your Darkest Days, You’re Still A Worthy, Amazing Person
#58
It Can Be Easy To Dwell On What Happened In The Past, And Especially On What You Could Have Done Differently. Consider This A Gentle Reminder: You Can’t Change Any Of That, But You Can Learn From It And Craft A Better Future For Yourself. Try Imagining Where You’d Like To Be A Year From Now (The More Specific You Get, The Better) And Then Figure Out How To Move Towards That Goal Today
#60
Micro-Actions For Building Belonging At Work That Anyone Can Do:✅ If Someone Gets Interrupted, Jump In And Ask Them To Continue Sharing Their Thoughts✅ Revisit Your Interview Process To Make Sure You’re Asking Each Candidate The Same Questions So You Can Evaluate Responses Fairly✅ When Someone Joins A Conversation, Fill Them In On What’s Happening✅ Plan For What You’ll Do Or Say If Someone Makes A Comment That Could Be Hurtful✅ Take Note To Delegate Fairly, And Hear From A Range Of Perspectives Before Making A Decision
If Someone Gets Interrupted, Jump In And Ask Them To Continue Sharing Their Thoughts
Revisit Your Interview Process To Make Sure You’re Asking Each Candidate The Same Questions So You Can Evaluate Responses Fairly
When Someone Joins A Conversation, Fill Them In On What’s Happening
Plan For What You’ll Do Or Say If Someone Makes A Comment That Could Be Hurtful
Take Note To Delegate Fairly, And Hear From A Range Of Perspectives Before Making A Decision
#63
It Might Feel Simple, But Feeling Better Over Time Really Is About Finding Your Footing Through The Smallest Next Step You Can Manage. That Might Be Walking Around The Block, Calling A Friend, Or Writing Down Three Things You're Grateful For. I’d Love To Hear What Little Things You Do When You’re Feeling Low..also: Trying Something New Won't Always Work. You May Have To Try A Few Different Things, A Few Different Times. But This Is The Surest Way I've Found To Combat Gloomier Moments
#64
Based On One Of My Favorite Quotes: “Success Is Liking Yourself, Liking What You Do, And Liking How You Do It.” - Maya Angelou
#65
Would Love To Hear What You’re Doing To Keep Your Spirits Up At Home. Read The News To Stay Informed, But Stop When It Becomes Too Much. I’m Checking It About Twice A Day. Sending Love To All Of You
Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
Can't bake cuz we don't have baking stuff, my friends don't answer their regular calls or texts, let alone Zoom notifications, I don't have anything to be cleaning or organizing, I don't have a pet I can talk it out to, I get in trouble each time I write or draw, and YouTube doesn't work for me. :)
ℜ𝔬𝔟𝔢𝔯𝔱 ℭ𝔞𝔱𝔱𝔢 4 years ago
Then get a pet. Plus, if you get one, then you'll have a lot of stuff that needs to be cleaned (because of the pet). You can also bake your pet, you don't need much practice for 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵. And you need new friends.
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The First Monday Of The New Year Can Be Overwhelming. As You Get Back Into The Swing Of Things, Remember To Speak To Yourself With Kindness
#67
Feedback Doesn’t Always Feel Like A Gift! I Get It, Hearing What You Need To Do Differently Can Be Pretty Painful. But To Learn And Grow (And Get Promoted), You Need To First Know What’s Not Working. Two Things I Do To Receive Criticism More Gracefully:
Keep A Smile File. I Save Praise And Nice Comments To A Folder That I Can Return To When I Get A Piece Of Negative Feedback. This Helps Me Remember That I Do A Lot Well! And That It’s Ok That I Might Need To Improve In One Area. Write It Down And Come Back To It Later. In The Moment, My Knee-Jerk Reaction To Criticism Is Often To Dismiss It Or Rationalize It Away. Coming Back To When I’m Not As Emotional Helps Me See The Value In The Advice I’ve Received..(Important Note: Feedback Can Absolutely Be Biased, Inaccurate, And Unfair. If It Seems Seriously Flawed Or Wrong, You Are Allowed To Toss It Out)
#68
You Can Have A Lot In Your Life To Be Grateful For, And Still Feel Sad Or Exhausted Or Disappointed At Times. Practicing Gratitude Doesn’t Need To Involve Suppressing All Your Other Emotions. As We Write In Our Book, Feeling Bad About Feeling Bad Will Only Make You Feel Worse. So If You’re Having A Gloomier Day, Do Remind Yourself Of What You Can Be Thankful For, But Don’t Beat Yourself Up If You Still Feel A Little Down
Kno 4 years ago
The whole gratutide fad kinda pisses me off. I have 3 apps who bombard me with reasons i should feel grateful, or stuff i should be grateful for... be grateful for the bad experience - it helps you grow! Well i can't, the bad experience sucks elephant balls, can't see how it will make me better; in fact, i am at my worst and nothing makes me feel good anymore. The bad experience was not required, it is not useful in any way, and changes me in a bad way, and now i feel bad cause i can't be grateful.
Arctic Fox Lover 4 years ago
I'm in the same boat, however I do find it helpful to be grateful. If I think about all the wonderful things that are still in my life, I can't help but feel just a tad better. I have to follow this terrible schedule that my dad forced me to do, and I plan on trying to shut it down by the end of this week, but there's a big chance that won't happen (my dad's very headstrong). I think about how my mom's friend's birthday was yesterday and that we'll be celebrating it this evening, I think about how another episode of WandaVision is coming out today, I think about how I have some friends on Bored panda who care about me (hint hint, I'm your friend now :>) etc. I always feel just a little better ;)
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#69
When You Get To Know Someone Personally, You Might Find You Have A Lot More In Common Than You Initially Thought
#70
Somehow It’s Possible. It’s “There’s So Much I Still Need To Do This Week” Paired With “Oh Well It’s Friday!”
#71
If You’ve Been Feeling Zoom Fatigue Lately, Here Are A Few Things To Try This Week Instead Of Video Calls
#72
Thinking “I’ll Be Happy When...” Or “I’d Be Happy If...” Is A Trap. It’s Good To Set Ambitious Goals, And You Will Feel Great When You Achieve Them! But Don’t Forget To Have Fun And Take Care Of Yourself Along The Way. Because That’s The Real Key To Happiness, And To Staying On Track So You Eventually Do Achieve Your Biggest, Long-Term Goals
#75
Ahhhh This Is Why Sending An Agenda Before A Meeting Is Super Helpful, Please And Thank You
#76
Important Reminder: Healthy Relationships Are Those In Which Love Yourself, Not Those In Which You Lose Yourself
#77
Here’s The Thing About Trying Really Hard To Impress Others: Even If You Succeed, You’ll Still Feel Unfulfilled Because You Accomplished Someone Else’s Goal, Not Your Own..the Best Feeling Is Getting Something That You Have Always Dreamed Of For Yourself. Remember, It Is A Beautiful Thing To Want Something For Yourself That Originates From You
#79
The Last 24 Hours I Woke Up At 3a And 5a And Both Times Immediately Reached For My Phone To Check The News
#81
Lately I’ve Been Trying To Be Kinder To My Future Self By Blocking Off Two Nights A Week And One Weekend Day For Alone Time. It’s A Useful Way To Remind Myself: Prioritize Self-Care!
#82
Important Reminder, Especially For Those Of Us Working Remotely. The Person Who Is Most Willing To Speak Up On A Video Call Or Lead A Meeting Isn’t Necessarily The Person Working The Hardest, Or Doing The Best Work. Especially If You’re A Leader Or Manager, Make Sure You’re Building Up And Recognizing The Achievements Of The Quieter Members Of Your Team
#84
Can We All Please Keep In Mind That Finding It Harder To Focus Or Get Work Done Is A Normal Response? Thanks
#86
It’s Been A Week. Make Sure To Take The Care You Need
#87
One Of The Smallest, Most Impactful Things You (Men And Women!) Can Do To Support Women Is To Note And Correct Your Communication Biases
#90
A Few Mindset Shifts To Help You Start 2020! I Find The Gym Reframe Especially Helpful. It’s About Taking Care Of Your Well-Being, Not Forcing Yourself To Achieve An External Standard
#91
I’ll Work Really Hard To Find The Easiest Way To Do Something
#93
I Said This To My Extroverted Partner Once, And He Did Not Take It As A Compliment Lol. But Really... It’s The Nicest Possible Thing I Could Say To Anyone. Tag The People You Feel This Way About, Whether They’ll Get It Or Not
#94
Especially In Your Darker Moments, It’s Worth Taking A Step Back To Remind Yourself Of All The Good In Your Life. Too Often We Compare Our Weaknesses Or Failures To Other People’s Strengths And Wins, And Expressing Gratitude Can Help You Step Out Of Those Unhealthy Thinking Patterns..this Is Not To Discount Your Gloomy Days, But Rather To Help You See Enough Light In The Darkness To Keep Moving Towards Better Times
#95
I Would Love To Hear About Your Remote Work Setups. I’ve Been Sitting At My Dining Table With My Laptop Stacked On A Pile Of Books. Sometimes I Work From Bed! It’s All Very High-Tech And Ergonomic
#96
I’ve Been Thinking A Lot Recently About When I’ll See My Family Again, Who Are All 2,000+ Miles Away. I Asked In A Story How All Of You Were Planning To See Far Away (Or Even Close!) Friends And Family Again, And Heard From So Many Of You That You’re Not Sure. Sending Love To Everyone Forced To Be Apart Right Now. And Of Course, Happy Mother’s Day Weekend
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What do you think ?
renee brack 4 years ago
These are superb and validating not jus for self but for others around us. They generate empathy and understanding. Yay!
renee brack 4 years ago
These are superb and validating not jus for self but for others around us. They generate empathy and understanding. Yay!
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