Mom Thinks The Unique Name She Gave Her Child Is A Gift, Is Furious When She Legally Changes It
Do you remember, a couple of months ago, we brought you a wonderful and funny selection of baby names, proving that dad is not always the best person to choose a name for a newborn? Well, now it’s time to restore justice – not all moms have common sense in naming children.
Moreover, some mothers seem to sincerely believe that the best thing they can give their offspring is a “unique” name. And the fact that later the child will suffer problems in life with a name that looks simply strange to other people – who actually cares? At least this story from the user u/LowMistake7491 is the best proof of that.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is dating a girl whose mom gave her a very weird name
Image credits: Sergey Makashin (not the actual photo)
In fact, the name sounds quite common, but it differs very much in writing
Image credits: LowMistake7491
So one day the girl had had enough of it and officially changed her name to its pronunciation
Image credits: SAULO LEITE (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LowMistake7491
The girl’s mom, however, was incredibly outraged at such a ‘betrayal’
Image credits: Ron Lach (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LowMistake7491
The woman broke into the couple’s apartment and showered the daughter with accusations and insults
Now let’s meet the hero of our story – the Original Poster (OP) is a guy dating a girl who has a very rocky relationship with her own mom. There are many reasons for this, the author tells us, but one of the main ones is that at birth, the mother “awarded” her daughter with a completely strange name.
No, the name sounds quite normal, but in writing, everything turns out differently. Something like Hayzelle Mahrree, the OP writes. Moreover, at the time of the girl’s birth, her parents were not officially married, so she received her mom’s last name.
Perhaps you understand well that in adult life, at work, in school and so on – such a ‘unique’ name only caused problems for its bearer. And so, the girl took a completely logical and rational step – one fine day she did the proper paperwork and officially became ‘Hazel Mary,’ and to top it off, she also changed the last name to her dad’s.
Well, the OP and his girlfriend, of course, expected a violent reaction from her mom to this news, but they didn’t at all expect that it would be so damn volcanic. The mom literally broke into their apartment (the couple made a strategic mistake by renting it not far from the mom’s place) and showered her daughter with insults, accusations of ingratitude and God knows what else.
According to the woman, she, as a mother, has every right to name her daughter as only she wants, and this name is supposedly the best thing that her daughter received from her. Mom became more and more angry with each passing minute, so it took the OP’s physical intervention to push her out the door. Well, now the angry woman curses them both at every opportunity, and the author and the girl are seriously thinking about changing their place of residence…
Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)
The desire for parents to stand out when coming up with a name for their child can actually take many forms. Let’s say a baby can get a fairly well-known name, but not very popular in the recent years or even decades. Or parents may simply like a certain word.
Perhaps the most famous example is basketball legend Kobe Bryant, who was named after the popular meat dish, Kobe beef, which his parents once saw on the menu of a restaurants in Europe where his dad, also a fairly famous basketball player, then played. Or maybe another basketball dad: LaVar Ball, whose three sons also all have first names starting with L.
“No one keeps a tally of how many people change their names each year,” Chicago Tribune quotes Bruce Lansky, the author of several books about names. According to this source, the number of such people varies around 50K per year.
The reason for a name change can be literally anything – from a change of religion (Cassius Clay becoming Muhammad Ali or Lewis Alcindor becoming Kareem Abdul-Jabbar) to social beliefs (Lloyd Bernard Free becoming World Be Free). Or Ron Artest becoming first Metta World Peace and then Metta Sandiford-Artest (I honestly have no idea about the reasons for the name change here, but this example still looks damn outstanding).
In any case, the right attitude towards the likely change of a child’s name upon reaching adulthood was shown by the great musician David Bowie, who first named his son Zowie, and then in one of his interviews calmly noted that if his son later wants to change his name, then it’s his own business. Fast forward to now, that’s exactly what happened, and we now know the former Zowie Bowie as the film director Duncan Jones.
Well, if earlier, in the old days, picking a name for a newborn child really meant something for their fate (at least the parents and all the people around them sincerely believed in it), today it’s mainly solely a matter of the name-givers’ aesthetic preferences. And these aesthetic preferences can indeed be quite questionable.
Accordingly, such a parent cannot be called otherwise than ‘entitled’. So the vast majority of people in the comments to the original post unanimously sided with the author and his girlfriend. “Congrats to your girlfriend in getting the name she wanted,” one commenter aptly wrote. “I am sorry her mother is having that way and hope leaves you two alone so that you don’t have to break your lease.”
In fact, when choosing a “quirky” or “cute” name for a child, many parents probably don’t even suspect that years will pass, their baby will grow up and will be left to deal with this name alone. “We don’t name babies, we name adults. No sane adult is going to sign their name as ‘Dr. Nevaeh Jhoone Smith’ or ‘Judge Kinzlee McTinsley Parker’,” another person says quite sarcastically.
And, perhaps, the most witty comment was this one: “This is such a tragedy.” So what do you, our dear readers, think about this situation? Do you remember any similar cases of such an inappropriate naming?
Most of the commenters sided unanimously with the author and his girlfriend, stating that she did 100% right
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
You May Also Like
Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk
Do you think childless individuals should be expected to chip in for group babysitting costs during friend gatherings?
17 Y.O. Is Done Sharing Her Birthday With Her Late Twin, Parents Are Not Having It
Do you think the girl should be allowed to celebrate her birthday without the remembrance of her deceased twin?
This fits wonderfully well with the other post right around the corner where some guy wants to convince his wife to call their daughter Stuarta. People, babies are humans, give them real names! I wouldn't even give a frog such a strange name, and they don't even listen to me
where are the frogs from, there was a story the other day on BP about a rescue dog that was not obeying any commands until they realized the dog only understood Spanish (I think) and once they switched form talking to the dog in English to speaking to it in Spanish it obeyed the commands, check your frogs passport
Load More Replies...
This weird name and weird spelling of common names needs to stop. It makes the parents look stupid and the kids get teased all their school years at the least.
THIS! But it gets worse, because adults with unique names earn less. Other studies show employers deliberately avoid people with unique names. They avoid the headache. In every situation where a person has a choice, they will avoid the person with the too-unique name. (Note: some of this is adjacent to racism or anti-immigrant, since many unique names in America come from other cultures, but it's also a sign of poverty, since for the longest time only poor people gave their kids unique names. And today, you see a unique name you think "entitled snowflake.")
Load More Replies...
Please stick with traditional spelling. Especially if you want people to take your kid seriously as an adult.
"Moms pathological desire to be unique": Surely that's spelled hyu'neeq or at least youneek??
There was a character in a children's show called the Backyardigans named Uniqua. I thought that was cute, but not enough to name my daughter that. Her mom and I hid the unusual name a the middle name so she could have the option of using it if she wanted, but have a normal name if she preferred.
Load More Replies...
Yes, those names were a gift from her mother. But gifts get exchanged all the time, don't they?
Someone once tried to explain away weird names/spellings with "OH, when they're grown these names will be normalized by everyone having them!" Yeah, I'm not buying that s**t.
NEVER burden a kid with the baggage of stupid mispellings or "joke" names. If your family name is Thursday, DON'T name your daughter Tuesday, even if it is a common girl name. [ .............................. ] I just looked though a list of common 18th century names that have fallen out of use. Most would make great and unique names today: Clementine, Florence, Henrietta, Cora, Cordelia, Adelaide, Franziska, Gwendoline, Millicent, Tryphena, among others. Try those out for size if you're naming your kid. [ https://nameberry.com/list/774/victorian-girl-names/all ]
The breeders gave me "normal" names and I ~~~HATED~~~ them because they came with baggage, easily used to tease as a kid. They got pi$$y when I changed my name, but IDGAF what they thought, I'm the one that has to LIVE with the name.
Load More Replies...
Once a person has reached the age of a legal adult who is capable of making their own decisions in life & are capable of being responsible for their own life; it no longer matters what the parents think … their “child” can go abroad to start a new life & there’s nothing they can legally do to stop them (at least not without being malicious, like declaring their child incompetent & incapable of making their own choices, even when there’s evidence to the contrary). If someone is 18 & wishes to legally change their name, they can do that; just as long as they don’t select one that has been banned by law. If their family doesn’t like it, tough. 🤷♀️🙄
I wish I lived in a country where they don't let you name your kid's stupid things. Show them you are naming the kid after grandma and they give you a pass. No passes for gobblygook just to be unique.
Save the weirdness for the middle name. That way if they hate it they don't have to yell anyone. I agree with the "names that rhyme" . You don't know how tired I got of hearing "Alice lives in a palace with Malice" in school.
I have a somewhat unique name, but it is super easy to spell, exactly like it is pronounced. But it is very similar to two more common names. A bit like Eliza, Liza and Liz. In that scenario Eliza is the most common, Liza is fairly common and Liz is very unusual. It is also a traditional nickname for "Eliza" in the area I'm from and several relatives were called that. I am very happy with my name although I respond to a lot of names since people can get it so very wrong.
Got in to an argument at work with a guy (kept typing his name in for work purposes), because his name was Michael, spelt Micheal. Michael is my middle name. He continued to berate and call me stupid until I said google it. Ran out the shop fast after that. Showed me his drivers license and all, lol d******d found out his parents can't spell his own name properly Edit: this guy was in his 40s
You think that's bad? I have relatives named Jeffery (not Jeffrey) and Kalub (not Caleb). One is 60 and the other is 30 (and no, not directly descended). And this same side of my family proposed naming me "Liesel", like from the Sound of Music.... I'm -so- glad my parents went in another direction. ETA: Liesel is not a bad name, but it's very uncommon where I live, and I don't think I could've survived the high school nicknames.
Load More Replies...
I don't have a unique name (ironic because the name literally means unique) but it is a non- Western name... I love my name and wouldn't want to change it but I've had SO MANY problems because of it over the years so I generally sympathise with people with "unique" names...
I actually have met an adult with the name Unique. Instacart driver I dealt with a while back. Nice young woman, did her job very well, I hope she didn't get razzed too much about her name (I didn't say anything). Personally, given that I was born in 1969, I'm just glad my mother didn't get more inventive than she did and wind up calling me something like "Starshine Waterfall".
Load More Replies...
I have an usual name. It has been a blessing and a curse. Most people have heard it before (once, in a very popular old movie) so it's a great ice breaker but it also requires conversation (and spelling) when I don't always want it. I wouldn't change it but I can understand how some would want it to be easier.
When I see some names, I feel like some parents just sent their kids into the world with a giant "kick me" sign on their back. Or they listened to "a boy named Sue under the influence. A colleague decided on such a name that the initials spelt something like f.a.r.t. (I don't remember exactly, the baby will be almost grown up by now, but it was something in that vein). We begged her to change, but she was adamant.
I have a unique spelling of a common name. This isn't uncommon now, BUT, I was born in 1960. I grew up thinking my teachers weren't very smart because they always spelled my name "wrong". They left out the extra letter my mom added. I was ten before I realized that my spelling was different than normal. I know nobody is ever going to spell my name correctly, I always have to explain. Don't do this to your kids. Just. Don't.
We all get a mental picture when we hear a person's name, right or wrong. Bertha is a heavyset lunch lady with a hairy chin. Chad is a blonde frat boy. So when you have your kid Havoc (someone I know), do you think he'll grow up to be a judge or doctor? Or will he be stuck working retail - IF he can find a boss to take a chance that he won't live up to his name?
I would pressume this wont be such a rare occurrence in the upcoming decade, when the cute babies grow up and actually has to deal with their silly names.
"Most of the comments unianimously" Did you seriously write that? Most? Unanimously? Do you know what either word actually means? I doubt anyone actually reads the "article" part of these. Just fire whoever you have doing it and throw in the actual text.
You can't fire random people who aren't paid. You could write an article right now. They cant fire you.
Load More Replies...
“Do you believe parents should have full control over naming their children”: WTF? Who else would give kids names? The government? (Akshully, in a very small handful of cases, that’d be better than letting the parents do it.) I’ve seen some wacky things on BP (especially the poll options!), but this question is REALLY out there. (I went back and replaced “insane” with “out there” to be polite, but I meant INSANE.)
I was given a name that didn't suit me, I was teased about it, it was easily turned into insults. I had to wait for my parents died before I could change mine to something much more simple and nice. I'll thought names can cause a child years of pain
so question. i have "normal" name. i grew up with four other girls in my school with the same name but all spelled differently. which one is spelled correctly or the most normal? when people ask how to spell mine, i give them my spelling but joke that i'll answer no matter which way they spell it. brittany britney brittanie brittani britnee
I can't really take a side here because I have an opposite experience, though I will agree that the crazy spellings of standard names can be over the top. My parents had a weird and easily made fun of last name. So they figured to give me the most boring common first name and middle name that about half the girls in my class also had. I HATED my entire name all my life. My other family members had more unique first names (not crazy spelling - just uncommon but lovely names) and here I am getting made fun of for my last name without even a nice first name, I felt like a wallflower. I changed it when I was in my 20s to an older version of the name that is not so common. My parents seemed ok with it. I gave my kids more unique names and they love their names.
My mother gave me a good name, I just don't like it for a few reasons... 1. My mother only called me Chris. I didn't like having an androgynous name. That didn't bother me so much when I got older, but I was even married to a Crissy at one point. 2. There were always two or three other Chris's in my classes, one of whom was invariably a girl. I was Chris C. I told the teachers to just call me Crockett, to no avail. Christopher got really popular in the 70's for some reason. 3. I actually prefer Christopher, but no one would call me that even though I asked them to repeatedly. It's my damn name, but I finally just gave up. 4. Try being named Christopher (Follower of Christ) when you're an atheist. I wanted a name that was different, but not so different I couldn't find it on coffee mugs, lol. I've long since given up as I do love my mother and this is the name she chose for me. Besides, I write books and short stories now and use whatever name I want as a pen name, so I'm happy.
So I'm in my early 40s. My parents kinda made up my name. It's very similar to some other common names, but the spelling us.. weird. Nobody knows how to spell or pronounce it correctly. I go by the shortened form, which is at least a slightly recognizable nickname for Charlene or Charlotte. It's been... annoying, but I couldn't change my name. I gave my kids more common names.
If I was going to name a kid, would a nature-themed name from a different language be alright? (Something like Injangwe or Inyanja, from Kinyarwanda language.)
If you want an honest answer: I wouldn't, unless you have a tie to that culture specifically and you want to honor your heritage. Otherwise, I would be worried about drifting into "cultural appropriation" territory... Besides which, you'd have to decide whether it's something the child would have to explain to their peers on a regular basis, and whether or not the name is worth that burden. Also, whether anyone's going to come up with nasty nicknames for it...
Load More Replies... This fits wonderfully well with the other post right around the corner where some guy wants to convince his wife to call their daughter Stuarta. People, babies are humans, give them real names! I wouldn't even give a frog such a strange name, and they don't even listen to me
where are the frogs from, there was a story the other day on BP about a rescue dog that was not obeying any commands until they realized the dog only understood Spanish (I think) and once they switched form talking to the dog in English to speaking to it in Spanish it obeyed the commands, check your frogs passport
Load More Replies... This weird name and weird spelling of common names needs to stop. It makes the parents look stupid and the kids get teased all their school years at the least.
THIS! But it gets worse, because adults with unique names earn less. Other studies show employers deliberately avoid people with unique names. They avoid the headache. In every situation where a person has a choice, they will avoid the person with the too-unique name. (Note: some of this is adjacent to racism or anti-immigrant, since many unique names in America come from other cultures, but it's also a sign of poverty, since for the longest time only poor people gave their kids unique names. And today, you see a unique name you think "entitled snowflake.")
Load More Replies... Please stick with traditional spelling. Especially if you want people to take your kid seriously as an adult.
"Moms pathological desire to be unique": Surely that's spelled hyu'neeq or at least youneek??
There was a character in a children's show called the Backyardigans named Uniqua. I thought that was cute, but not enough to name my daughter that. Her mom and I hid the unusual name a the middle name so she could have the option of using it if she wanted, but have a normal name if she preferred.
Load More Replies... Yes, those names were a gift from her mother. But gifts get exchanged all the time, don't they?
Someone once tried to explain away weird names/spellings with "OH, when they're grown these names will be normalized by everyone having them!" Yeah, I'm not buying that s**t.
NEVER burden a kid with the baggage of stupid mispellings or "joke" names. If your family name is Thursday, DON'T name your daughter Tuesday, even if it is a common girl name. [ .............................. ] I just looked though a list of common 18th century names that have fallen out of use. Most would make great and unique names today: Clementine, Florence, Henrietta, Cora, Cordelia, Adelaide, Franziska, Gwendoline, Millicent, Tryphena, among others. Try those out for size if you're naming your kid. [ https://nameberry.com/list/774/victorian-girl-names/all ]
The breeders gave me "normal" names and I ~~~HATED~~~ them because they came with baggage, easily used to tease as a kid. They got pi$$y when I changed my name, but IDGAF what they thought, I'm the one that has to LIVE with the name.
Load More Replies... Once a person has reached the age of a legal adult who is capable of making their own decisions in life & are capable of being responsible for their own life; it no longer matters what the parents think … their “child” can go abroad to start a new life & there’s nothing they can legally do to stop them (at least not without being malicious, like declaring their child incompetent & incapable of making their own choices, even when there’s evidence to the contrary). If someone is 18 & wishes to legally change their name, they can do that; just as long as they don’t select one that has been banned by law. If their family doesn’t like it, tough. 🤷♀️🙄
I wish I lived in a country where they don't let you name your kid's stupid things. Show them you are naming the kid after grandma and they give you a pass. No passes for gobblygook just to be unique.
Save the weirdness for the middle name. That way if they hate it they don't have to yell anyone. I agree with the "names that rhyme" . You don't know how tired I got of hearing "Alice lives in a palace with Malice" in school.
I have a somewhat unique name, but it is super easy to spell, exactly like it is pronounced. But it is very similar to two more common names. A bit like Eliza, Liza and Liz. In that scenario Eliza is the most common, Liza is fairly common and Liz is very unusual. It is also a traditional nickname for "Eliza" in the area I'm from and several relatives were called that. I am very happy with my name although I respond to a lot of names since people can get it so very wrong.
Got in to an argument at work with a guy (kept typing his name in for work purposes), because his name was Michael, spelt Micheal. Michael is my middle name. He continued to berate and call me stupid until I said google it. Ran out the shop fast after that. Showed me his drivers license and all, lol d******d found out his parents can't spell his own name properly Edit: this guy was in his 40s
You think that's bad? I have relatives named Jeffery (not Jeffrey) and Kalub (not Caleb). One is 60 and the other is 30 (and no, not directly descended). And this same side of my family proposed naming me "Liesel", like from the Sound of Music.... I'm -so- glad my parents went in another direction. ETA: Liesel is not a bad name, but it's very uncommon where I live, and I don't think I could've survived the high school nicknames.
Load More Replies... I don't have a unique name (ironic because the name literally means unique) but it is a non- Western name... I love my name and wouldn't want to change it but I've had SO MANY problems because of it over the years so I generally sympathise with people with "unique" names...
I actually have met an adult with the name Unique. Instacart driver I dealt with a while back. Nice young woman, did her job very well, I hope she didn't get razzed too much about her name (I didn't say anything). Personally, given that I was born in 1969, I'm just glad my mother didn't get more inventive than she did and wind up calling me something like "Starshine Waterfall".
Load More Replies... I have an usual name. It has been a blessing and a curse. Most people have heard it before (once, in a very popular old movie) so it's a great ice breaker but it also requires conversation (and spelling) when I don't always want it. I wouldn't change it but I can understand how some would want it to be easier.
When I see some names, I feel like some parents just sent their kids into the world with a giant "kick me" sign on their back. Or they listened to "a boy named Sue under the influence. A colleague decided on such a name that the initials spelt something like f.a.r.t. (I don't remember exactly, the baby will be almost grown up by now, but it was something in that vein). We begged her to change, but she was adamant.
I have a unique spelling of a common name. This isn't uncommon now, BUT, I was born in 1960. I grew up thinking my teachers weren't very smart because they always spelled my name "wrong". They left out the extra letter my mom added. I was ten before I realized that my spelling was different than normal. I know nobody is ever going to spell my name correctly, I always have to explain. Don't do this to your kids. Just. Don't.
We all get a mental picture when we hear a person's name, right or wrong. Bertha is a heavyset lunch lady with a hairy chin. Chad is a blonde frat boy. So when you have your kid Havoc (someone I know), do you think he'll grow up to be a judge or doctor? Or will he be stuck working retail - IF he can find a boss to take a chance that he won't live up to his name?
I would pressume this wont be such a rare occurrence in the upcoming decade, when the cute babies grow up and actually has to deal with their silly names.
"Most of the comments unianimously" Did you seriously write that? Most? Unanimously? Do you know what either word actually means? I doubt anyone actually reads the "article" part of these. Just fire whoever you have doing it and throw in the actual text.
You can't fire random people who aren't paid. You could write an article right now. They cant fire you.
Load More Replies... “Do you believe parents should have full control over naming their children”: WTF? Who else would give kids names? The government? (Akshully, in a very small handful of cases, that’d be better than letting the parents do it.) I’ve seen some wacky things on BP (especially the poll options!), but this question is REALLY out there. (I went back and replaced “insane” with “out there” to be polite, but I meant INSANE.)
I was given a name that didn't suit me, I was teased about it, it was easily turned into insults. I had to wait for my parents died before I could change mine to something much more simple and nice. I'll thought names can cause a child years of pain
so question. i have "normal" name. i grew up with four other girls in my school with the same name but all spelled differently. which one is spelled correctly or the most normal? when people ask how to spell mine, i give them my spelling but joke that i'll answer no matter which way they spell it. brittany britney brittanie brittani britnee
I can't really take a side here because I have an opposite experience, though I will agree that the crazy spellings of standard names can be over the top. My parents had a weird and easily made fun of last name. So they figured to give me the most boring common first name and middle name that about half the girls in my class also had. I HATED my entire name all my life. My other family members had more unique first names (not crazy spelling - just uncommon but lovely names) and here I am getting made fun of for my last name without even a nice first name, I felt like a wallflower. I changed it when I was in my 20s to an older version of the name that is not so common. My parents seemed ok with it. I gave my kids more unique names and they love their names.
My mother gave me a good name, I just don't like it for a few reasons... 1. My mother only called me Chris. I didn't like having an androgynous name. That didn't bother me so much when I got older, but I was even married to a Crissy at one point. 2. There were always two or three other Chris's in my classes, one of whom was invariably a girl. I was Chris C. I told the teachers to just call me Crockett, to no avail. Christopher got really popular in the 70's for some reason. 3. I actually prefer Christopher, but no one would call me that even though I asked them to repeatedly. It's my damn name, but I finally just gave up. 4. Try being named Christopher (Follower of Christ) when you're an atheist. I wanted a name that was different, but not so different I couldn't find it on coffee mugs, lol. I've long since given up as I do love my mother and this is the name she chose for me. Besides, I write books and short stories now and use whatever name I want as a pen name, so I'm happy.
So I'm in my early 40s. My parents kinda made up my name. It's very similar to some other common names, but the spelling us.. weird. Nobody knows how to spell or pronounce it correctly. I go by the shortened form, which is at least a slightly recognizable nickname for Charlene or Charlotte. It's been... annoying, but I couldn't change my name. I gave my kids more common names.
If I was going to name a kid, would a nature-themed name from a different language be alright? (Something like Injangwe or Inyanja, from Kinyarwanda language.)
If you want an honest answer: I wouldn't, unless you have a tie to that culture specifically and you want to honor your heritage. Otherwise, I would be worried about drifting into "cultural appropriation" territory... Besides which, you'd have to decide whether it's something the child would have to explain to their peers on a regular basis, and whether or not the name is worth that burden. Also, whether anyone's going to come up with nasty nicknames for it...
Load More Replies...
62
51