ADVERTISEMENT

English is the most spoken language in the world with a mind-bending total of 1.348 billion speakers. So no language like it has ever dominated the world. The influence of English can be easily traced in the way its vocabulary has infiltrated so many other languages.

Researchers at the IULM University in Milan have noticed that, in the past 50 years, Italian syntax has shifted towards patterns that mimic English models, and that’s just one example. And thanks to the global influence of social media, younger generations from around the world are all speaking fluent English, mimicking insta-famous natives from across the sea like it's no big deal.

So it’s only fair to expect something from this language, right? For example, that it makes sense, is user-friendly and somewhat intuitive. And it kinda is, or is it? Well, you gotta draw your own conclusions after scrolling through some of the weirdest, most frustrating and pretty incredible English language quirks we collected below. From the cursed English pronunciation to the sentences that have 7 or more different meanings depending on the stressed word, this is a crazy class you wouldn’t like to have an exam in.

English, the universal language of this world, is somewhat of a tough nut to crack for anyone who just got on board. The reason for this is the fact that this language is full of unique quirks and incredible oddities that, although challenging at first, give it character. For example, think of the sentence “I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long” by Mitch Hedberg, who created this paraprosdokian, a phrase that figuratively defeats your expectation. The listener or reader will have to reframe or reinterpret the earlier clause. Coming from the Greek ‘para’ meaning ‘against’ and ‘prosdokia’ meaning ‘expectation,’ a paraprosdokian leaves the reader somewhat baffled by the conclusion of the sentence.

#4

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

showerfeelings Report

Add photo comments
POST
t762778 avatar
Tails
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I will one up you. Every E in Mercedes is pronounced differently.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#5

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

shadowwraiths Report

Add photo comments
POST
just_a_spooky_dude avatar
XSpooky_Mint
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't kill your dog. I DIDN'T kill your dog. I didn't KILL your dog. I didn't kill YOUR dog. I didn't kill your DOG.

wendillon avatar
ner_diz avatar
vickyz avatar
Vicky Z
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't think so... I can already think of two that this doesn't work! At least not after every single word in the sentence

Load More Replies...
jmscargill avatar
Scagsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a difference a comma can make: Eats shoots and leaves

drolltimes avatar
Klaatu Verrata (Cough)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The meaning can change contingent upon where you put "only"--which is the whole point, in case anyone missed it. Also: PLEASE use the Oxford comma. I don't care that 30-year olds feel it's unnecessary. Working in law, let me tell you: it is 100% necessary.

maxinekl avatar
Maxine Kaufman-Lacusta
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"I want to thank my parents, Ayn Rand and God" vs "I want to thank my parents, Ayn Rand, and God." I case there's any doubt re Oxford comma!

Load More Replies...
z-poziomka avatar
ellalmckenney avatar
Floof
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I spent so long putting only before every word just to make sure there was a loophole

drolltimes avatar
Klaatu Verrata (Cough)
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should be in law. Our other favorite go-tos (which actually remove loopholes): "and/or", and "any and all". I sometimes have to use either or both (another favorite) of those so many times in one complex sentence in a contingency Settlement that I have to break it down into parts to make sure that even -- I -- know what I'm saying. Luckily, I use Oxford commas---or else there'd really be trouble. 😆

Load More Replies...
olgadremina avatar
Olga Dremina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In Russian you put words in any order for this very reason: "She him told that she him loved" makes perfect sense, so as "That she loved him, she told him", but "Him told she that him loved she" is a complete Yoda-style. Thing with "only" will do too)

ellajmoffat-1 avatar
ThEboRedEsTpANdA
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

ONLY she told him that she loved him. She ONLY told him that she loved him. She told ONLY him that she loved him. She told him ONLY that she loved him. She told him that ONLY she loved him (harsh). She told him that she ONLY loved him. She told him that she loved ONLY him She told him that she loved him ONLY.

nickyoldfielddesciple avatar
IlovemydogShilo
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get your friends and family together. Separate into 2 teams of boys V girls. Give them this sentence and ask them to punctuate it. WOMAN WITHOUT HER MAN WOULD BE LOST. I guarantee you each team will punctuate the sentence differently. 😁😁😁

drolltimes avatar
Klaatu Verrata (Cough)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would probably refuse to play just on principle of how sexist it all would no doubt quickly get. 😆

Load More Replies...
dmarsh avatar
Daniel Marsh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hold on... this isn't a flaw in the English language. First, this is common. Second, it's brilliant. Third, it's easy as Hell to use. Just stick "only" directly in front of the word it refers to.

craig_reynolds_usa avatar
Craig Reynolds
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Should I write the sentence out and post it on a board and then pin the word "only" on it or can just PUT it in the sentence? Is this some British retardation?

debraobinna avatar
Debby Marengo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She only told him that she loved him. She told him that she loved only him. She told him only that she loved him. She told him that only she loved him. [did I miss one]? lol

fiekeengelen avatar
Fieke Engelen
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can honestly say that I love the English language for it's quirkiness

nlynch1010 avatar
drolltimes avatar
Klaatu Verrata (Cough)
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or is it a hard time learning that people wonder why dyslexics have? I'm about to confuse even myself. Good illustration though that not only is punctuation important, but also is word USE and ORDER.

Load More Replies...
symhart avatar
drolltimes avatar
Klaatu Verrata (Cough)
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No, no. Please don't. It's an attempt to illustrate how one qualifying word (such as "only" or "just") can change the entire idea a sentence means to convey, depending on where it is placed. Many times, people don't read back to themselves what they write, and that leads to confusion in their attempts to convey their thoughts or arguments. I see this quite a bit in my field. Someone will write out legal arguments that are made more or less invalid because of their own inability to proof and scrutinize their own writing (including punctuation). Writing skills are essential in many professional fields and, yet, they are also the skill Americans are woefully inadequate at teaching--and stressing the importance of-- to later generations.

Load More Replies...
tianarandazzo avatar
Anita Pickle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She only told him that she loved him. She told him only that she loved him. She told him that she loved him only.

roberta_bray-enhus avatar
Roberta Bray-Enhus
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It should be IN the sentence,not ON the sentence. It should read, She told him that she only loved him.

lisanorman2009 avatar
Lisa Norman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one here who knew English well enough to notice. Even native English speakers don't seem to know how to use prepositions correctly these days...

Load More Replies...
maverickatlarge avatar
Hugh Walter
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This could be talking about 2, 3, or 4 people as well. Fun with pronouns!

francesami avatar
Francesa Miller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And this is why fiction writers need to have more skill than screen writers who can let actors do the emoting..

timothymclaughlin avatar
Timothy McLaughlin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

only she only told only that only she only loved only him only. only fans.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#6

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

moist-grunge Report

Add photo comments
POST
maylin_martinsen avatar
May
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English is considered one of the easier languages to learn - it gets much more complicated out there people

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

Another confusing thing in the English language may be syntactic ambiguity. Here is an example: “I’m happy I’m a tennis player, and so is Albert.” It can mean four things: “I am happy Albert and I are both tennis players,” “I’m glad I'm a tennis player, and Albert is also a tennis player,” “Albert and I are both glad I’m a tennis player,” or “I am glad I’m a tennis player and Albert is also glad to be a tennis player.”

#8

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

allisonkollins Report

Add photo comments
POST
liverpoolroze avatar
Rose the Cook
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Both are rarely heard outside America except from people who think Americanisms are trendy.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

Geronyms, brand names used to mean an everyday item, are also common in the English language. These terms have seeped into the general psyche and are used more often than their technical counterparts. We almost always ‘Google’ something instead of doing an ‘online search.’ In the US especially, for example, people often refer to cotton swabs as ‘Q-Tips’ after their brand name. Increasingly more popular nowadays is the process of ‘Photoshopping’ an image, after Adobe’s software of the same name.

Auto-antonyms are words with multiple meanings, two of which are antonyms of one another. Some are used in everyday language without our realizing it: the word ‘off’ is guilty of this. We can turn something off, meaning it will cease to be on. Conversely, the alarm can go off, meaning it has—rather bizarrely—just turned on. In more technical terms, a ‘strike’ can, in baseball terminology, mean a hit or a miss.

ADVERTISEMENT
#10

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

chlothegod Report

#12

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

dajo42 Report

Add photo comments
POST
ohxrkqra avatar
Kira Okah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

English has more than five vowels but only five letters to display them.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#13

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

egberts Report

Add photo comments
POST
abigail-hope-cullen avatar
Gay_Forg
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO READ THIS CORRECTLY AND UNDERSTAND IT

View more commentsArrow down menu
#15

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

lisaquestions Report

Add photo comments
POST
manusal avatar
El muerto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when ask to use ones own words. I go; "emjuju wata wata majojo" because those are my own words.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#18

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

trexis__ Report

Add photo comments
POST
der-tod-auf-raedern avatar
Cactus McCoy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Easy. As an English/American native speaker go for german words like "Streichholzschachtel".

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#19

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

Real_jaeflex Report

Add photo comments
POST
ner_diz avatar
Serial pacifist
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, if a person from Poland is a Pole, then shouldn't a person from Holland be a Hole?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#20

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

farmsuggestion Report

Add photo comments
POST
saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The "if" throws me. "You all would have" all contract in previously accepted ways. Same with "I would have". I have never seen "if" contracted into anything before. It would have been recognisable as Y'all'd've if I'd've. (Because I'd also like to point out that the apostrophe around I'd was in the wrong place)

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#24

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

rudy_betrayed Report

Add photo comments
POST
ianmilne2159 avatar
Ian Milne
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pony Bologna only rhymes if you pronounce Bologna incorrectly

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#26

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

Report

Add photo comments
POST
ohxrkqra avatar
Kira Okah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know about anyone else, bt seeing "nineth" makes me want to say it as nin-eth with two syllables. Maybe that is why ninth eventually beat nineth, for a time both versions were correct.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#28

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

Report

Add photo comments
POST
wendillon avatar
Monday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Huh...TIL that intimate was also a verb. Thank you random sentences.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#29

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

livemulticulturually Report

Add photo comments
POST
allanjohnbreum avatar
Allan Breum
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kowtow is technically not an English word, its an anglicized version of a Chinese words.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#31

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

maddylizy Report

Add photo comments
POST
summermason avatar
Summer Mason
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trying to teach my daughter to read and write is hard. She has to sound out her words when reading. But the sounds the words make are not the same as spelling them on paper. 🙃

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#32

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

ohheykenz123 Report

Add photo comments
POST
ohxrkqra avatar
Kira Okah
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Different words developing the same spelling over time. Bass (base) is from Mediaeval Latin, bass (fish) is from a Germanic root.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#34

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

alexkoford Report

Add photo comments
POST
rebeccabailey_1 avatar
Rebecca Bailey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Arkansas and Kansas didnt come from English. Arkansas is a French corruption of the pronunciation of a Quapaw word meaning "The Down River People" Kansas is named after the Kansa people. Almost all of the states names came from native words, or French or Spanish corruptions of those native words.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#35

English-Language-Frustrating-Logic

PatrickReza Report

Add photo comments
POST
saragregory0508 avatar
NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because it relates to gratitude, not greatitude? (Very much a guess, I haven't had a brew yet)

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Note: this post originally had 37 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.