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“She’s A 10 But She’s The Eldest Daughter”: 50 Tweets Every Eldest Daughter Might Relate To
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard the phrase, “Oh! So you’re the middle child.” The term itself comes along with a host of assumptions and implications, and while I may not personally relate to them all, I certainly feel bonded to my fellow middle children out there.
If you have siblings, you might find yourself fitting into an archetypal role as well. The baby, the middle child, the older brother, the little sister, or even if you don’t have any siblings, the only child. They each have their own expectations, but one group that seems to have it particularly hard is the oldest daughters.
If you’re an eldest daughter, we see you and we hear you, so we’ve gathered this list down below of tweets that you might find painfully relatable. Be sure to upvote all of the pics that make you laugh or feel uncomfortably seen, and let us know in the comments what your favorite and least favorite things are about being a big sister. Then if you’re interested in another Bored Panda article about how older siblings are treated vastly differently than younger ones, we recommend checking out this piece next.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago (edited)
My two best friends and I are eldest daughters. Please elect the three of us as U.S. president in 2024.
Cara G 3 years ago
Eldest daughter here. I'd like to nominate myself as your running mistress.
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Hello_my_name_is_Genevieve 3 years ago
Note to self for next elections: pick anyone who is an oldest daughter, whatever the party.
Elizabeth VanDyke 3 years ago
As an oldest daughter, it was up to me to "set an example" for anyone younger than me. I thought that job should be our parents' responsibility. I needed someone to set an example for me!
Mochi 2 years ago
Gosh I know right? Or getting blamed for behaviors you dont show that the younger kids are doing?
Load More Replies... Lauren Marcelle 3 years ago
Eldest daughters and Single Mothers....can do anything with nothing.
Christine Will 3 years ago
Hear, hear! I am both of those, and applaud your comment!!
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Even if you yourself are not an older sister, you might be familiar with the concept of what it is like to be one. In fact, the psychology of being the oldest daughter is even referenced in media, with one of the most famous recent examples being Isabela in Disney’s 2021 film Encanto. The movie is brilliant in many ways and features a beautiful, whimsical and heartwarming soundtrack, but the rich characters and story are what really draw audiences in.
Isabela is expected to be perfect at all times, and has a bit of “Golden Child Syndrome”. The family relies on her to marry a young man from the village and grow the family, despite her having no interest in that. But she has never had the opportunity to experiment or make mistakes because all eyes have always been on her. Isabela finally feels immense freedom when she stops worrying about being polished and perfect all the time, because for most of her life, she has been given no room for error. Isabela passionately sings, “I make perfect, practiced poses, so much hides behind my smile” and “I’m so sick of pretty, I want something new… What can you do when you know who you wanna be is imperfect?” She perfectly encapsulates how many oldest daughters feel, and the character has become very popular because of that.
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#2
Anyone-for-tea? 3 years ago
Oh what? Me too! I never realised this was a thing!
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Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Did I type this while I was high on meds from dental surgery? Because I'm pretty sure this is me.
#3
Shannon Denise 3 years ago
But MOST IMPORTANTLY is the youngest daughters trauma 💯
Load More Replies... JayCee 3 years ago
This is called parentification. The roles of parent and child flip, which causes major trauma for the child involved. No parent should expect their child to take care of their personl emotional needs.
Chancey 3 years ago
Yeah, as an oldest child tell my mom and sister that.
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Robin Barber 3 years ago
Eldest daughter with 11 siblings here...🙋♀️ and this is me exactly!!! #OldestChildIssues
Raven DeathShade 3 years ago
Holy goodness, are you me?! I'm the oldest daughter, but I have 10 siblings XD.
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People that grow up being expected to be the golden child can deal with an overwhelming need to please, being required to grow up faster than they would like, becoming high achievers to satisfy their families, and having a fear of failure. As adults, they can also encounter some difficulties in relationships. "On the one hand, the grown-up golden child might become excessively attached to another person, not knowing where they begin and end. For example, they might display excessive people-pleasing, seeking the validation they never received as a child,” says neuropsychologist Dr. Sanam Hafeez. “On the other hand, they might truly struggle with connection in relationships, seeking validation from outside sources like work and never becoming emotionally available to a partner.”
Work and school environments can even be challenging for golden children, if they never learned how to take criticism. "These children will also grow into adults who become defensive when they receive criticism,” Dr. Hafeez says. “Because golden children are accustomed to only receiving positive feedback from their loved ones, they struggle to accept any form of negative feedback as an adult. They will automatically believe that they have failed.”
#4
Berry-Nice 3 years ago
I'm not crying, you're crying. Why is bored panda having a go at me this morning?
Shayda 3 years ago
I know right? I didn't come here to get personally appreciated like this
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Jack 3 years ago
Just showed this to my older sister. She teared up. I hugged her and told her I appreciate her. Then I made a terrible joke cos I don't do well with serious feelings. But then we hugged again and it was my turn to tear up lol. It was oddly cathartic. I love Bored Panda.
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano 3 years ago
You're the kind of younger sibling we all want :)
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#5
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Well, I can't say I kept the family unit functioning at that age, as it was a pile of alcoholism, untreated mental illness, abuse, and divorce. But I kept my younger half-siblings safe and fed them Spaghettios.
pink_panda 3 years ago
That's an amazing accomplishment and a true act of love.
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Bobbie Thomas-Peters 3 years ago (edited)
Yes!! Cooking a family dinner, doing the family laundry, tending to younger siblings.... getting myself & siblings up for school & out the door. Started between 10 & 12.....continued from then on....even going to parent - teacher meetings & open houses of siblings because my single mom was working while I was in high school. Like other, coped with what I call the drama & trauma of family alcoholism, divorce, PTSD that was undiagnosed in a stepfather....much more but I was a momma hen to my siblings from younger than 10 keeping them out of the line of fire as much as I was able.
Theresa Carroll 3 years ago (edited)
So true by the time I was 12 years old I was raising my younger brother and sister completely alone my mom had left us with a tent on the riverbank so I had to hustle my butt off to feed those kids I didn't have time for school I had them but I am excellent at problem solving and multitasking because of this and I come up with amazing ideas.. have you ever tried to entertain a three and five year old while living in a tent on a riverbank at 12 years old? If not then you have no clue how imaginative and creative you can be... I also became very good at shielding them from my mom and her boyfriends.. they never had to endure any of the abuse I did and I wouldn't change a thing I endured it so they didn't have to my mom was an alcoholic and a drug addict and her boyfriend's were too there's not a week that didn't go by that I wasn't breaking up a fist fight between them.. one time my brother and sister's dad and drug my mom into the woods I was about 11and he was out there strangling her he was going to kill her.. I had my brother and sister in a closet and I took my little brother's shotgun BB gun and I went out there and I beat the heck out of him with it.. cracked his skull to get him off my mom and that was one of many times.. later on I found out he had dug a grave for each one of us that night...
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
I don't understand why you got a downvote for "Nope." Upvoting you now! You have the right to give this whole thing a bucket of "Nope."
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Tonita Vaughan 3 years ago
I agree. I managed 6 younger sisters how hard can it be to manage a country
Avocado Toast 3 years ago
When my parents divorced, I was able to somehow keep my wild sister under control. Does that count? IDK about a whole COUNTRY though.
#6
Trillian 3 years ago
You mean there was a time when the "men of the household" actually organised, fixed and took care of things? Like the mental load part too? Or is that just another myth of the patriarchy?
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago (edited)
Can confirm that both my grandfathers (born in the 1910s) did that. My father, uncles, and male siblings are a different story.
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L. Murphy 3 years ago
UM...I think a more accurate way to describe an eldest daughters' role would be she has all of the responsibility and grunt work, but none of the glory or rewards.
Melinda De La Rosa 3 years ago
Very true!! My family calls me the WARDEN, but let something go wrong or someone needs something then I have a name
Load More Replies... MellonCollie 3 years ago
Do you think this is why my MIL hates me? She's a first born daughter too. She knows we don't need anyone else. She knows she's redundant. Or am I overthinking it?
My O My 3 years ago
Depends. What time is it where you are? If nighttime : overthinking. If daytime : you might be on to sth
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Alice MontRose 3 years ago
I think this is true lol. I'm the eldest daughter of three and sometimes my dad jokingly presents me to people as his "son", which is kind of funny but in hindsight why the need to do that at all? I mean is it not enough for us to be who we are? There all of these weird expectations which don't even make much sense
Bobbie Thomas-Peters 3 years ago
In our family, my mom became the man of the house and I as the oldest became the Mom.
Susan Reid Smith 3 years ago
I became the boy of the family and there weren't any healthy boys on my street in my age group. Knowing how to mow a lawn can be a useful skill.
Sophie Parekh 2 years ago
my younger brother is supposedly the "man of the house" when my dads not there. bro, wtf, im the only one doing anything.
Although Isabela is the oldest daughter of the three Madrigal girls featured in the film Encanto, Luisa, the middle daughter, represents another experience that many older sisters know all too well. She sings a song titled “Surface Pressure” detailing all of the heavy burdens (literally and figuratively, she has superhuman strength) and responsibilities she is expected to carry due to her role in the family. While hauling donkeys, boulders, pianos and a church building, Luisa sings, “Give it to your sister, your sister’s older, give her all the heavy things we can’t shoulder. Watch as she buckles and bends but never breaks. No mistakes.”
According to psychotherapist Dr. Caroline Plumer, oldest daughters often start taking on more than they should at a young age. “Eldest sisters will have spent at least a small portion of their lives as only children, and as such have largely had adults, and particularly their mothers, to model their behaviors on,” Dr. Plumer told Metro UK. “Even today, women are still typically seen as the family caregivers, and if the mother is incapacitated for whatever reason, expectation can fall on the eldest child to step in to her role.”
#7
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
I'm not sure this is really an "either/or" thing. The conjunction you want here is "and."
Melissa Smith 3 years ago
“Conjunction Junction, What’s Your Function” Spoken like the youngest and only girl😸 not paying attention bc…. I didn’t have to!
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Lazy Panda (she/her/hers) 3 years ago
The answer is yes and yes. Also applies to performance reviews.
#8
David Force 3 years ago
My mother had ten children and she had serious heath problems so my oldest sister had to take over. We are now all in our 60’s and 70’s and she still thinks she’s the boss 😂. I was the 7th born and I don’t think I appreciated my sister enough and I need to tell her that.
Evelyn Fox 3 years ago
I dream constantly of yelling at my younger sister for not helping me with the housework when we were young. Until seeing this thread, it never occurred to me that I was dreaming my own memories.
#9
Victoria Anderson 3 years ago
Some parents have to depend on the oldest daughter to even get to the therapist office. Especially when younger siblings will throw tantrums because they don't want to go with Mommy, but Daddy's not home and we don't have a babysitter.
Dr. Plumer explains that it can also be common for parents to delegate some of the responsibilities of looking after and taking care of the younger siblings to the oldest daughter. This can be confusing for a child, when they are just trying to grow up and enjoy being a kid, but they are expected to fill a bit of a maternal role so their younger siblings can have the “full child experience”. “[This can] result long-term in a lack of boundaries and a tendency toward people-pleasing behaviors as eldest sisters believe it is their job to be responsible for everybody else’s wellbeing and happiness,” Dr. Plumer says. While it may seem like being the oldest kid has the perks of getting to make decisions or being able to boss younger siblings around, oldest daughters often don’t get to embrace the joys of being an older sibling. They might be too busy babysitting, changing diapers and helping mom and dad prepare dinner.
#10
Cara G 3 years ago
43 year old eldest daughter. It's 2:40 pm in New York. Today I managed the following family chaos: 1. Mother is annoyed with Grandma and me because we didn't open the dog bed she got for our puppy YET (I live with Grandma) so I need to remedy that soon 2. Cousin got irritated by a misunderstanding also involving Grandma so I did some explaining and stage managing of her feelings and she is fine now 3. My sister's youngest child is going to kindergarten tomorrow and she's been dreading this day for 5 years so I'm helping her with her feelings about it (she's ok right now) 4. Try as I may, I cannot get Grandma to stop sh!t talking her own sister who lives with...my parents. I try. She doesn't. Not even 3pm yet, guys.
David Force 3 years ago
You are the glue of the family. Part therapist and part social worker. Just because no one tells you this I think you deserve a big thank you from the universe. I bet deep down your family does appreciate you, at least I hope they do. Keep up the good work and don’t forget to take care of yourself.
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Lyssa Liane Lehmkuhl Virus Brogan 3 years ago
I'm 50 and this is literally how it is if you're the oldest AND the oldest girl.
Little Panda Bear 3 years ago
I actually gave up on this. If I did things without being asked I was out of character if I did it after being asked I was lazy so I stopped. Now it's mostly the latter.
Little Panda Bear 3 years ago
Thing is I gave up on doing this as soon as I realised it didn't matter. If I did something without being asked, I was a burden if I did it after being asked I was lazy. So now I mostly just do the latter.
#11
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Eldest daughter day is the day you move out of the house. I'm sure my sigh of relief could be heard in three countries.
Jonathan Nichols 3 years ago
A thousand times this Also, side note, it took me an embarrassingly long time for me to realize what your user name was a reference to
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Heidi Denton 1 year ago
Yeah eldest daughters have such a bad rep. In all the films my little sisters watch it’s always the older sister who is evil and for all they do for we do fro our siblings we need a bit more respect than always being the mean villain.
Merilyn Horton 3 years ago
Our eldest sister kept tabs on us all, but she was always there for me.🥲
#12
Victoria Anderson 3 years ago
Besides valuable time, you also lose your privacy if your bedroom door becomes... easily unlocked.
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
I always felt like it was indentured servitude. I've paid off my debt to my unhinged mother, and now I'm free.
Cheyanne Pavan 3 years ago
So very true! I kind of thought I'd be off the hook once my sisters graduated college, but that was almost 20yrs ago now & there's no end in sight!
K. Anderson 3 years ago
Eldest daughter- when my dad died I refused to be the executor of the estate as I always get stuck doing everything
Aunt Riarch 3 years ago
There's no end to it - my younger brother has made me his executor....
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Patricia McGrattan 2 years ago
Try being only daughter with 3 brothers, 6 and 7 years older and one 4 years younger.
Merilyn Horton 3 years ago
In partnership with the second daughter, there’s nothing cant be done.
Being the oldest daughter can be a very complicated role to fill. On one hand, you may be expected to be perfectly poised and polished at all times and feel the need to please people, but on the other hand, you might be controlling and develop an unhealthy competitive attitude. To try to reduce or prevent “oldest sister syndrome” from rearing its ugly head, parents are recommended to keep an eye on bossiness and ensure it is not tolerated. Constantly speaking over younger siblings or telling them what to do may seem harmless, but it’s not a great habit for kids to develop. At the same time, parents must make sure that their oldest children feel loved and valued regardless of their accomplishments. They need quality and quantity time with their parents, so they do not feel that their value rests on how well they do in school or activities.
#13
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
I'm off to get "screaming crying throwing up" embroidered on a tasteful throw pillow. Who's going with me?
AsexualShrimp 3 years ago
MEEEE! i can embroider little roses with green puke dripping off
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Theresa Carroll 3 years ago (edited)
Being the oldest daughter I didn't get to have a childhood when I was 8 years old my little brother was born and my mom told me you don't need me anymore you're grown he needs me now.. then when I was 10 and a half she had my little sister and at that point she was done being a mom so it was on me to raise them. And in my opinion I did a great job as a child raising two children my brother is thriving in the Air Force and owns his own home about to have his first kid.. my sister just turned 21 and she is the most amazing young lady you'll ever meet she's getting ready to get a degree to become a real estate agent she's taking her classes right now I couldn't be more proud.. but I do wish I would have been able to be a kid I wish I would have had a mom... Instead of having to be the mom...
Natalie Kelsey 3 years ago
My mom was screaming, crying and throwing up and I did NOT want that life. My ADHD trump's her anxiety every time. Too bad my eldest got both
Sunshine Pogue 3 years ago
I do pyrography art... that’s wood burning. I only mention because I get the you grew a third head when I say pyrography 😅🤣. I may actually start making scream, cry, throw up art for my home now 😅🤣 . Thank you, love and eldest daughter 🥰🤣
Queen Boudicca 3 years ago
Some of us on the tail end of being "Boomer Moms" are also screaming, crying, and throwing up... trust me. You all didn't invent trauma, abuse, PTSD, and disfunction.
CL Rowan 3 years ago
Interesting that you're invested in showing us that our feelings *still* don't matter. Thanks, honey.🙄
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#14
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Recruiter: "I'd love to get you hired, but I don't have a CEO position available right now."
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano 3 years ago
Would it count as an extracurricular on a college application, do you think?
TrippyBanana 3 years ago
It's definitely a life skill you can use for your professional experience.
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Love to get things done, smart, extremely capable and able to manage more than a hundred people with ease. Does not like recognition.. but you better freaking pay me for the excellent work I will be doing and 3 weeks paid vacation every year, as well as a desk /office where I can lock the door for 5 minutes.
#15
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
This. I have two master's degrees and an unshakable case of Complex (i.e., Childhood) PTSD.
Meredith Lill 3 years ago
I just said to my husband, "I wonder what it's like to be afraid of nothing?. Because I am afraid of almost everything.
Parents might often assume that their oldest daughter is fine because she never voices her concerns or that nothing is going on in her life. But when parents get in the habit of not checking in with their oldest daughter to make sure she is okay, she might start to feel unsafe sharing when something is wrong. The expectation has been set that she is always perfect and under control, so she may fear failure or admitting defeat. It is vital that parents never make assumptions about what is going on in their children’s heads and that they consider all of their feelings, even if they are not the “baby” or they appear to have it all under control.
#16
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
I see your "mother who is the eldest daughter" and raise you "mother who is the spoiled youngest daughter." Now that's a raving disaster.
Lilly Carmichael 3 years ago
Not an eldest daughter but only child - daughter of "spoiled youngest daughter of 4" and holy F**K am I glad there were no other children.
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Unnamed Hooman 3 years ago
My mom is the eldest daughter and so am I… our personalities are very… strong.
Cathelijne Van 3 years ago
Me and my mom were. She didn't want me to have the childhood she had (taking care of kids, chores, expected not to study), so she gave me freedom. I miss her...
Bobbie Thomas-Peters 3 years ago
Yes! My mother was an oldest, I am an oldest, my 1st born was a girl too. I tried to not be as hard on my daughter as I felt my mom had been on me. Demanding perfection that could not be reached while taking on so much responsibility at an age and level that ....well you know. It made me who I am today but I am conscious of the struggle my mother was living and the one I lived and that I did not have to continue the cycle on to my own daughter. Oh, my grandmother was a first born too.
Claudette Austin 3 years ago
I'm the oldest daughter of an oldest daughter of an oldest daughter of an oldest daughter. I don't know any further back than that.
Sunshine Pogue 3 years ago
Omg the way they raise you to be them 2.0 then get upset because you don’t have it together as well at 4 as they did at 14 🙄💀 mines passed on now however I still find myself going oh geeez now you pulled a “mom” 🙄💀 lord help me and lord help the world. 🤣
Nini 3 years ago
Keeps it fair, you don't have to raise your siblings, everyone has the same rules, no favorites and not serving as an exemple. I wish I was an only child ... altho my mom's crazy she might have murdered me if my brothers didn't tire her
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Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
The oldest daughter of immigrants? As they say in videogames, "God mode unlocked."
Hello_my_name_is_Genevieve 3 years ago
Psychology degree, with a major in international diplomacy.
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
I'm the eldest daughter of immigrants and I'm studying psychology LMAO
Lilly Carmichael 3 years ago
I am totally drawn to the field bc of my own experiences (not as eldest daughter) and I can totally understand why. A class I was in, they were talking about anxiety and personality disorders and trauma and every. Single. Person. Had a REALLY INTENSE childhood story or family member. Choo Choo Here comes the pain to psychology train
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Pantea 3 years ago
I could use an actual psychology degree. It could come in handy to deal with my family.
David Force 3 years ago
My wife has a Special Ed degree which has come in handy with my lunatic family (I have 9 brothers and sisters).
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Blessing N. 3 years ago
I love how I'm the eldest daughter and this was posted on my 18th birthday...
April Dancer 3 years ago
Happy 18th Birthday! Have a wonderful rest of your life x
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Oldest children seem to receive the worst punishments as well. They are likely to be the first ones being caught drinking, getting a speeding ticket, skipping class or failing a test, so parents might be shocked and disappointed by many things that no longer phase them by the time the youngest sibling makes it to high school or college. Parents must be careful not to be too harsh or strict on their oldest because they are the guinea pig in many situations. Parents are navigating how to deal with punishment and taking away privileges for the first time, so they might feel the impulse to be very hard on their oldest daughter. But I assure you, she will remember this. So try not to be overly cautious just because she’s the first one going through something.
#19
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Nah. I moved to another state, paid my way through college, cut off contact with my abusive parents, and married a great guy who loves me. I'm treated fairly now.
L. Murphy 3 years ago
Marriage is no guarantee of love tomorrow. Don't forget men are men and if you get sick first, they are 7 times more likely to leave you than a woman would leave a sick man. Good that you went to school, just never let yourself be dependent on another human being. They are not to be trusted.
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Bobbie Thomas-Peters 3 years ago
Yes, the younger ones got to do and get things that I never could at their ages.
Brandi-Jo Gerbert 3 years ago
My family will even plan "family" vacations without me as they expect me to stay home and take care of the family's pets for free. We have 3 houses all on our street (one with an in-law suite) That's 4 different households of pets to sit for aka 12 dogs, 6 cats, etc etc
#20
Mary Hapenny 3 years ago
Me either. Too anxious and fearful of doing anything wrong to lead
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Kimberly Winkelmann 3 years ago
I am the eldest daughter but was also the youngest then middle child when 3 teenage male cousin/uncles lived with us for 6 years. I'm a mess. I'm no leader for sure.
Adashimalover 2 years ago
People will say I'm a natural leader and I'll literally go "no I'm just the oldest daughter"
Is_this_thing_on? 3 years ago
Eldest daughter of Asian mom and white dad. Never Asian or white enough growing up but you'd better believe I was doing chores none of my younger siblings (or older brother) was doing 😕
Is_this_thing_on? 3 years ago
Pleasing everyone? ✔ Good grades/honor roll? ✔ Extreme anxiety, depression, imposter syndrome? ✔ ✔ ✔
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#21
Cheyanne Pavan 3 years ago
You know we can do it because we already do everything else!
Load More Replies... Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano 3 years ago
I'd be yelling at the screen while binge-watching it!!
Susan Reid Smith 3 years ago
We'd ask the producers if that was the best they could do creating the challenges.
Simone Saur 3 years ago
They're the authority figures of that situation, so naturally i assume we'd do their entire jobs
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Now, it’s not all bad being the oldest daughter. There are always some perks to being an older sibling as well. For example, oldest daughters tend to be excellent leaders. As Lisette Schuitemaker and Wies Enthoven wrote in their book The Eldest Daughter Effect, “Eldest daughters are responsible, dutiful, thoughtful, expeditious and caring. Firstborns are more intelligent than their siblings, more proficient verbally, and more motivated to perform.” In fact, oldest daughters are 16% more likely to excel in academics than their younger siblings.
#22
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago (edited)
And standing on top of this bridge, just out of shot, are two parents, five half-siblings, three step-siblings, two cats, and a dog. With the most functional one being the dog.
that weird wallflower 2 years ago
Are you saying this from experience? Because if so that sucks and I’m sorry
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Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano 3 years ago
I love the song Surface Pressure :). When I lucid dream, I always start by singing the part of the song about relaxation!
Christiana Bradshaw 3 years ago
This song was when I knew my instincts that this was going to be a great movie were right!
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strawberry idiot 3 years ago
Luis (dont remember how to spell it right lol) was the middle child, and as a middle child who is also the oldest daughter (older brother) I cried a little when she was on screen. Still relatable no matter the age :) /gen /lh
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neeru choudhary 3 years ago
mine is when my mum told me that I was the reason the server was down...
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
How dare you let the server go down, Neeru? You should have been holding it above your head! (See the above photo of Luisa from Encanto lifting the bridge...)
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UpupaEpops 3 years ago
My mother (after one of her many night outs) barges into my room at 6 A.M. Screaming at me, because I broke the coffee maker, while single-handedly deep cleaning her kitchen 'till 2 A.M. I couldn't even fully comprehend what the hell she was on about, so I reached out to turn on the night light. It didn't turn on. There was a blackout at some point and the fuse box needed to be reset. Obvs. no apologies of any kind because how would she know that I didn't break it.
Stacy B 3 years ago
This is too soon for me! I'm having my kitchen redone and the company doing the work has screwed up quite a few things yet somehow its my fault. Even though I've been out of my home for 3 weeks while they do the job. This c**p is crazy.
CL Rowan 3 years ago
That's what lawyers are for~~defending oldest daughters who don't want murder charges.
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EpicWolfandSparrow 3 years ago
Oh yes it's my fault for being too young to have neck/back problems. Because I chose them🙃. Oh and the constant parenting my siblings badly, yerp🙃. And my friends don't like me, I eat too much/not enough, I'm put of the house too often, never leave my room, being the oldest daughter is great🙃
AsexualShrimp 3 years ago
my story was when it's my fault that a tornado came a ripped off my roof... i'm still grounded for that apparently
Andrea Wylie 3 years ago
Holy c**p. I could be in bed at 3am, asleep, and a satellite could fall on me and kill me and my mom would have gone reasons it's my fault. The first is cuz I didn't take her advice on something.
My O My 3 years ago
Everything. The moment my younger brother was born everything was my fault. Every. Thing.
CL Rowan 3 years ago
I was wondering the other day if my mother's actions were partly post partum from my baby brother's birth. That,and a house fire that the next youngest caused, was when she started sliding off the rails. Now I think she was just a b!tch.
Load More Replies... CL Rowan 3 years ago
That was my father. I became *very* observant so that the leather belt wouldn't come off.
Load More Replies... Katerina Taleska 3 years ago
I moved to Colorado a month before everything shut down because of the pandemic… my mom’s response “see you left Illinois and everything shut down“
#24
Susan Boulton 3 years ago
The other aspect of being the oldest is that you are the one to have to find everything yourself. No older sibling to guide you as to growing up.
Kim Lorton 2 years ago
Ooooh… eldest daughters should not marry eldest sons! Awful things will happen. I know, because I did.
Oldest siblings also have unfiltered access to their parents’ attention, for at least a small portion of their lives. As babies and perhaps some of their childhoods, they were given all the attention in the world and were able to soak up as much knowledge as possible from their parents. They also usually get things first, whether its clothes, a cell phone, a car, or a variety of other things. Older siblings tend to get less hand-me-downs than their younger siblings, if there are no older neighbors or cousins to hand things down to them. They might even have the largest funds for college stored away, as the money might be slowly depleting as the baby makes their way to university.
#25
EpicWolfandSparrow 3 years ago
Except that everyone but the eldest daughters' boyfriend thinks the depression is made up 🙃 lol
David Force 3 years ago
My oldest sister has been bossy her whole life. She is 75 and still try’s bossing the rest of us 9 siblings around. I have an only child, a daughter, and she is bossy too, so maybe it’s a first born thing.
Adashimalover 2 years ago
Ngl I can't tell if I'm depressed or not I have small moments of happiness here and there then I just feel like c**p other times
#26
Stephanie Cunningham 3 years ago
Especially when your mom was only 17 when you were born and had a LOT of growing up to do.
Shane Van Veghel 3 years ago
Not if you REFUSE the role! I let my younger sister handle that... she knows everything anyway.
#27
Erin Witzke 3 years ago
I feel this all the time. Monday, ready to start a new week working out and cleaning house! Feeling awesome! Sister calls. Her fiancé is telling her to leave. There goes the week. Time to mediate, care for, cuddle, make the feel good food and prep the couch bed. Sigh
Holly Benedict 3 years ago
Being the oldest of 5 & being 10 years old by the time I lost 'only child's status meant i was old enough to 'help' take care of my siblings. I'll never want to have kids because I've already been a mom. I still have resentment that my parents never came to my violin recitals in middle school because their baby sitter was me and I was too busy doing some stupid violin recital to watch their kid so they could come to my violin recital. (You might be thinking I'm lucky to have any after school activities, but a music class was required in my middle school and attending the recitals was for a grade, otherwise i wouldn't have been allowed to go at all)
Raabh Aquino 3 years ago
This happened to me too, my siblings are 10 and 11 and a half years younger than me. Suddenly, I was pushed into this weird second mom position being a child myself. It took me several months of therapy to understand a lot of feelings I've always had as well as process them properly. I used to feel guilty for the feelings I had towards my siblings, like resentment, anger and inequality, for a long time. I feel like I had my teen years robbed. Don't get me wrong: I love my siblings to death, but it was hard growing up with this huge age gap. I felt overlooked and at the same time had a lot of demands on how I should help raise them.When my therapist told me that, psycologically, teenagers require the same amount of work a child does from their parents, I finally understood a lot of things. My parents did their best at the time, especially my mom, but growing up like that wasn't easy, I had a lot of responsabilities on my shoulders when I was supposed to be just living my teenage years.
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Jeanne Versweyveld 3 years ago
I always said I was neither fish nor fowl….oldest of 7 ..ten years between the next oldest and 18 years from the youngest. My teen years were hell!
Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
I actually am a mother now, far more complex than the big sis gig I was used too lol.
Rune Rosen (they/them) 3 years ago
Probably because you know oldest daughter struggles and changed parenting ways-
Load More Replies... Sharon Ingram 3 years ago
I was 8 1/2 when my sister was born. Dad was in the Army and deployed to the Dominican Republic. Mom was sick with mastitis for several months. I WAS my sister’s mother. I had three brothers, one older, two younger before my sister.
Norma Nelson 3 years ago
Some of us play the real parents cause the real ones are not doing it
Every family is different, and not all oldest daughters are the same. But if you are one, I’m sure you can relate to at least some of the posts on this list. Whether you are bitter your younger siblings never felt the wrath of your parents as strongly as you did or you’re thankful that you grew up to be so ambitious and successful, we would love to hear about your experience being an oldest sister down below. Be sure to keep upvoting the pics that you find to be spot-on, and then if you’re interested in another Bored Panda article examining the unique relationship between oldest and younger siblings, check out this story next.
#28
Feminist Percussionist 3 years ago
What’s enby?…does that stand for non-binary
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Josie Bisbano 3 years ago
My husband is an eldest daughter. Except he somehow bowed out and let his little brother take all the responsibility for an alcoholic single mother. So we disagree about family obligation in a big way.
CL Rowan 3 years ago (edited)
Obligation~~the way family controls the abused members to remain with the abusers. No thanks.
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Cara G 3 years ago
I really don't want to downvote you but without a lot more context, this reads as potentially transphobic. If it's supposed to be humorous, it's not coming across. Just letting you know in case you want to delete or edit it before other people downvote you into a temporary ban.
Load More Replies... #29
MellonCollie 3 years ago
The partners they carefully pick? Note to self: do not pick an eldest son in your next life ...
L. Murphy 3 years ago (edited)
If there is a next life, I would like to be a lesbian. Or a spoiled house cat. Anything but a tragically hetero female.
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Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Other eldest daughters. My two best friends are eldest daughters, and we take care of each other.
Lyssa Liane Lehmkuhl Virus Brogan 3 years ago
No one. We're stuck taking care of ourselves as well
Krystol Grayson 3 years ago
I married a man who is second of four boys... Best decision of my life. He treats this eldest daughter with care and understanding.
Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
I married an eldest son 8 years ago, and we have an incredible marraige.
Sharon Ingram 3 years ago
No one, because no one gets it or understands. You’re just too………. (Pick something).
#30
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
*hands you a couple of tissues* *saves one for me*
Load More Replies... Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
I am the eldest girl in my family and would prefer not to to be stared at. I'm a bookworm and usually prefer the company of my own family and books.
#31
Unnamed Hooman 3 years ago
If we’re not too busy being yelled at or taking care of our siblings
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Blessing N. 3 years ago
If we're going based off of this logic, then i thank all of my fellow eldest daughters for their service to their families and this country.
#32
MellonCollie 3 years ago
Can we spare a thought for the eldest daughters' bank accounts as well, after all the years of therapy needed to realise they don't have to live their lives pleasing people? Thank you.
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
I'm pretty sure my therapist has built a house on Martha's Vinyard with the money.
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Rhianna Hollowaye 3 years ago
Yeah and then the younger siblings annoy you so much that you snap at them, then feel bad and apologise for snapping!!!
Rune Rosen (they/them) 3 years ago
But they snap at you all the time and never care when it hurts you the most-
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Jamie Williams 3 years ago
If I wanted to go on a date while in high school, I had to pay for the babysitter to watch my younger siblings.
Theresa Carroll 3 years ago
Exactly thank you.. I did so good in school until my siblings were born then when I was in 6th grade my grades went downhill I didn't have the time.. when you have a mom and her abusive partner and your mom's an alcoholic and drug addict and you're constantly being verbally mentally and physically abused and raising your siblings you don't have time for school it doesn't seem that important.. God I wish things could have been different... There needs to be a program for all of us eldest daughters where we get a second chance kids again and go to school again and have all the high school memories like prom cheerleading squad being on teams and stuff I didn't get to do any of that I had to drop out my sophomore year and get my GED because I had to be a mom to my siblings.. I wish I could have done the normal high school thing.. I would give anything to have been able to have a normal childhood...
Little Panda Bear 3 years ago (edited)
I don't know if I can be in the "eldest daughter" groups anymore. Because I gave up and have basically shut my family out at 15. Instead I do it for the outside world now, people pleaser for them. Because my family cares not for my efforts. So I guess I'm a failed eldest daughter.
#33
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago (edited)
Me too! I remember getting dirty looks for being the thirteen-year-old walking two tiny tots down to the corner store to get chocolate bars. People thought I was the Mom. They were basically right.
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Krystol Grayson 3 years ago
This is why I don't have/want children of my own. I already raised two!! I'll be the fun aunt for my niblings/grandchildren.
Holly Benedict 3 years ago
I had 4 by the time I was 20. How many nights did i give up saying "sorry I can't go out, I have to watch my siblings."? Then my parents wonder why I never dated in highschool and why I'm in a long distance relationship now. Y'all broke me. Normal was not an option for me.
Caiman 94920 3 years ago
Oldest of 13, told my soon to be husband that I've spent the first 25 years of my life raising kids and I am done. If having kids is something he needs, I am not the wife for him.
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Yeah! Four half-sisters, one half-brother, two stepbrothers here. My parents didn't know how to raise one kid, so they churned out six and got two others from their spouses' previous relationships.
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Nicole LeClerc Mosher 3 years ago
I’m the oldest of 6. My sisters and I are 2.5 years apart. Then there is a five year split before my brother was born. And three years later my parents adopted my two cousins. I’m 10 years older than my first brother and 15 years older than my younger brother. It was like two separate families that I had to help parent. On top of all of that, my cousin who had my little brother and sister was my age when it happened (15 years old) so people assumed that they were my kids all the time. I’m a crazy people pleaser who didn’t go on a date until I was twenty something. All of it really messed with my head and my siblings don’t even appreciate that I was a second mom to them. Therapy has helped but I still have all of the responsibility on me at 44. I raised my kids when I was a teenager and now I can’t even have kids of my own which is a real kicker.
Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
There is a big difference between younger siblings and your own kids. I thought by taking care of my younger brother I knew everything about child care...then I became a Mother whole different ball game. Now I have a sis in law who thinks that helping to raise her sibling taught her everything...I just smile while mentally laughing maniacally at the life lesson that's coming her way. (Same one I learned).
#34
Anita Rapp 3 years ago
How many times have I heard from my father "I can't talk to your sisters like this."
#35
neeru choudhary 3 years ago
I am reading this on an old office laptop that only works when it is plugged in.
Zoey McMullin 3 years ago
that only counts as "plugged in" and a very specific angle
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Mary Hapenny 3 years ago
My sister always got the best stuff to "keep her happy" and I got second hand or crappy because I wouldn't complain. Still happens now.
Erin Hamann 3 years ago
... What's this "laptop" you speak of?... My giant desktop is still running windows XP...#eldestdaughter
Carlina Ward 1 year ago
Both of my little brothers have PS5's and a shared keyboard/mouse setup, but I'm still tryna get up the courage to ask my parents for help buying a laptop for college. Like I feel bad for no reason...#eldestdaughter
Chris Osborn 3 years ago
Ahhh yes, I now make the least of the 3 of us, but still fork out the most of the 3 of us. Plus I'm single, no kids for any of us. I'm still helping, them and my parents sometimes.
#36
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago (edited)
Not to mention laundrywoman, pet care specialist, babysitter, dishwasher, maid, and general dogsbody. I also juggle. Contact me for weddings and bat mitzvahs.
That one Bean 3 years ago (edited)
I’ve been reading all of your comments and your amazing- you went through alot from what I’ve seen, and yet your funny as heck. Go pirates of zen plants!!!! :D
Load More Replies... Cara G 3 years ago (edited)
Gaming partner, vocal coach, chauffer, stylist, nurse, housekeeper, landscaper, errand runner, office manager, IT consultant, dog groomer, dog trainer, dog walker, veterinary technician, personal Alexa, pharmacist, secret keeper, detail rememberer, and apparent liaison with and for the entire family because I am the one with 24 hour access to Grandma, the Family Elder. And yes, Grandma is also the eldest daughter.
Raabh Aquino 3 years ago
Growing up, I had this stupid notion that if I did all the house chores and the care of my siblings, I would be contributing to family peace and my parents' effed up marriage was gonna thrive. Ha Ha Ha, joke was on me.
Erinia Verde 3 years ago
I'm not such a mediator. I suggested my mom to leave my dad, I already was taking care of his freaking responsabilties
Key Lime 3 years ago
My sister is 63, I am 61 and our brother is 57 and she is still mad at US for " stealing her childhood " as if we asked our parents to make her take care of us.
CL Rowan 3 years ago (edited)
And you're still acting entitled. Put yourself in your SISTER'S shoes. When did she get to have fun? Go on a date? How many times did she catch hell over something you guys did, even if she wasn't home when it went down?
Load More Replies... #37
Unnamed Hooman 3 years ago
Technically Isabella is older than Luisa, but emotionally that’s accurate!
DancingPanda 3 years ago (edited)
And she nearly marries someone she doesn’t even like to keep the family happy/peaceful and is constantly told to stay perfect, and is yelled at when she colors out of the line and gets messy, oh, not to mention she didn’t get the cool powers like talking to animals or being strong or healing with food, or even no power and not having that pressure, but she got the gift of “being perfect” and a perfect flowery room, and is constantly held to that standard cause it’s a “gift” even though no one it perfect, but noooooooo. NO one talks about that cause she’s the eldest daughter and it’s taken for granted
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Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 3 years ago
Yea she's my favourite and her song is my favourite too
#38
Cheyanne Pavan 3 years ago
We are never truly okay! Even when it seems like our parents & siblings are all doing fine on their own, we're always waiting for the other shoe to drop!
JustCallMeAcorn 3 years ago
Yeah I'm doing pretty good how about the other first born daughters?
#39
rennie roo 3 years ago
that moment when you're the eldest daughter and you have your dad's anger and just snap :/
Load More Replies... that.bitch.mae 3 years ago
You know what probably doesn't go good together? Anxiety and anger issues. You know what I have? :)
Avocado Toast 3 years ago
Literally me because I have to take care of my lil sister ALL THE TIME. She is quite a handful...
#40
HangryHangryHippo 3 years ago
No strictly limited to asian households... I'm latina and 100% relate to that 😅
Sharon Ingram 3 years ago
Just oldest daughter.....doesn't matter what ethnicity....it's all relevant. I never put all this into words. I have never felt so damn validated.
Chris Osborn 3 years ago
It's not just a specific ethnicity, I'm a white girl I have the same thing. 😱
#41
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Dad: "What are these mysterious substances you call paper and tape?"
Seonag Udell 3 years ago
Every bloody Christmas and birthday. I even chose the presents now, so he is as surprised as my mum.
Cara G 3 years ago (edited)
43 and I have to leave the last few evenings before Christmas available because I know I'll be getting the inevitable annual phone call from Daddy asking me to go shopping for Mom. It's kind of our tradition now except that I never know what night he's going to call 🤣
Load More Replies... Michele Viney 3 years ago
How about an only child who is also eldest daughter who gives Dad a list of what he can give as a gift to his wife. I also buy his choice and wrap it.
Callie Hagood 3 years ago
Just makes me think of how my dad invites my little sister to go places with him but I have to invite myself if I want dad time.
Holly Benedict 3 years ago
Least my dad wraps his gifts , it's always something weird. One year he made my mom and I cardboard house shoes with $ folded into bows that he taped to them. It was my favorite that year
Erin Robinson 3 years ago
"He buys"?? What you don't buy all your parents' presents for each other from each other?! Then it's a surprise for both of them when the wrapping is opened.
Erinia Verde 3 years ago
At least he's the one buying the gifts and not blatantly adding himself when you give her a present "that's from me too"
#42
Unnamed Hooman 3 years ago
Half the people I know don’t think I’m funny (and they make sure to let me know), the other half thinks I’m hilarious
#43
#45
Summer Mason 3 years ago
Seriously.. I felt blessed when my siblings passed out on me.
Load More Replies... Cheyanne Pavan 3 years ago
I remember those days! Even worse is when you're stuck in the middle and have siblings sleeping on you from both sides!
Amber Kaul 3 years ago
yeah bruh i'm the oldest and i'm usually the one in the car mostly because i have car sickness
Little Panda Bear 3 years ago
I refuse to let my brother fall asleep on me considering he can't stand me even tapping him on the shoulder to tell him dinner's ready.
#47
Reyna Avila Ramírez-Arellano 3 years ago
I'm considering being a therapist for this reason. I am 100% mediator
#48
Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
Nope not a parent..yet. while the oldest daughter skills you learn will be helpful still does not compare to actual parenthood. (I learned this lesson the hard way).
Sonya Kou 3 years ago
Haha, as a mom and an oldest daughter... I feel like your parents must have been relative cool. Parenthood is easier for me, at least I get freedom of choice in my life with all of that responsibility, guilt, fighting, etc. 😜
Load More Replies... that.bitch.mae 3 years ago
Being the eldest kid actually makes me want children less. Might adopt but f**k having a kid.
CL Rowan 3 years ago
I chose to not have kids because I didn't want them treated the way I was.
Load More Replies... #49
Call Me Mars 3 years ago
I tried... but my younger sister dosen't like 90s rock or early 2000s music. Oh well, her loss.
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
I failed. My New England-born sisters love country and western. Me: "People fought and died in the Civil War so you wouldn't have to listen to country and western." Sisters: "F off"
Analyn Lahr 3 years ago
I hated my older sister's music out of principle. I'm cool with it now that I'm an adult.
Shiroppi 3 years ago
I tried to not expose my sister to so much anime and jpop, or 90s nu metal... so that she could have her own taste in music. But I had a CD that I titled "GermAmerJap (German, North American, and Japanese rock) -- she still remembers those songs and is a fellow weeb now.
Load More Replies... Ava Herrera 2 years ago
Yes!! Although my brother doesnt like 90s rock or metal yet, but he's getting there
#50
#51
Unnamed Hooman 3 years ago
I’m the favourite cousin! My mom is the eldest daughter in a family of 12, so I have tons of cousins. All of them think I’m great!
#52
#54
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Your MBA is in the mail, along with your Doctorates in Psychology, Education, Labor Relations, and Social Work.
Amy Broderick 3 years ago
same only in an Italian family . . . . dear lord my parents thought my siblings were mute and couldn't walk because they had an eldest sister. Not much has changed and I'm close to 50.
#55
#56
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
Dude, I moved out of state, and I'm still kind of sorry I didn't move out of the continent.
HangryHangryHippo 3 years ago
Yup. I even moved out overseas and the family drama followed me here via WhatsApp...not even 10000 kilometers of distancing where enough to avoid being dragged into it 😵💫
#57
#59
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#61
MellonCollie 3 years ago
I would say that is an enormous advantage, though. But I am not brown and I also feel this counts for me. Shall we say it counts for all eldest daughters?
#64
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#67
Izzy Curer 3 years ago
He says, nah, it's just been a long fight, I just got to have a warrior's spirit.
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zovjraar me 3 years ago
i'm the oldest and a daughter and i felt pretty much all of these. i always had to sit in the middle seat in the back so my brother and sister wouldn't fight i never asked for anything because i could see the stress and sadness it caused in my mum when my siblings did. i was the unpaid babysitter, cook, and maid. not to mention the emotional support i had to give. it's no wonder that i'm now an introvert with no interest in "friends" (i just can't do the emotional support thing anymore) or kids (raised my siblings). yet most people like me and say i'm a great listener and easy to talk to, and also funny. yes, because i STILL feel like i'm supposed to take care of everyone!
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
It warms my heart to see all the people who don't relate to these! Today I learned that some people have parents with reasonable expectations.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 3 years ago
Holy s**t....as the 10 year old left to care for a newborn due to a gravely I'll mum and a dad who couldn't afford to not work while her brothers were still allowed to be kids (one older, one younger) this hits a wee bit too hard
CL Rowan 3 years ago
Girls are *supposed* to know instinctively how to do housework, childcare, and yardwork!
Load More Replies... Jack 3 years ago (edited)
I wish my sister could have had a proper childhood instead of having to look after me while our mum and step dad went out every night drinking. I wish she hadn't witnessed the awful behaviour and physical abuse our real dad inflicted on our mum. I wish she could have felt as care free and non burdened as I did growing up, not understanding how she was treated by our mum. Now I'm older and I see the long term effects this had on her, I wish these things everyday. Going through what she did, for me, I know she knows how much I love her. But sometimes I don't feel like I tell her enough. If you have an older sib. Tell them how much you appreciate them. It means more to them than you might think.
ChickyChicky 3 years ago
Tell her! Recognizing and seeing what she did will mean so much to her.
Load More Replies... Krystol Grayson 3 years ago
I have never felt more seen in my life! Thank you to all the other eldest daughters who are keeping it strong and getting the therapy we all need!!
Mattewis88 3 years ago
I don't relate to a lot of these but I do feel like I was the guinea pig child for whatever the hell my parents thought raising a kid was. My younger sibling got away with everything I didn't and they'd be like "so, it wasn't as bad as we thought." "It didn't work with you." "We're not THAT again."
wowbagger 3 years ago
Wow, I didn't know this was a thing. But I'm an eldest daughter and I related to every one of these. I did manage to break free from my family and put my energy into my career, but of course I ended up playing the same role at my job that I played in my family. By the age of 45 I was having massive panic attacks and was perpetually exhausted, so I had to retire. After a lot of therapy, I'm doing much better now!
CJ Slays🇺🇦 3 years ago
eldest son but i'm trans and i understand every single one of these, i have to be the second parent to my little brother while also making sure the house is clean and the dishes are washed and the laundry is done.
CL Rowan 3 years ago (edited)
How many of us did/do this not because we want to, but for what will happen if we *don't*? I was dragged downstairs to the laundry room in the middle of the night by my father because I hadn't washed the dirty blankets before bed. I was told to stay there and not leave until it was DONE (about 5 hours of work). I put the 1st load in, cried for a half hour, and went back to bed figuring that I didn't care about the whipping I'd get. They had either forgotten by morning or figured sending me to school with belt marks would be a bad thing.
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NewNicknameAlert 3 years ago
I didn't agree with every last post, but more than half of these was something I dealt with growing up and still dealing with as an adult. Its sad and hurtful to not feel validated, seen or heard. I spent my childhood trying to get church members, school staff and family to hear my cries. Every last one let me down except my second grade teacher. Family even showed me that they didn't care much.
CL Rowan 3 years ago
Same, except it was my senior year creative writing teacher who saw me. Didn't help at that point, but I appreciated her concern.
Load More Replies... zovjraar me 3 years ago
i'm the oldest and a daughter and i felt pretty much all of these. i always had to sit in the middle seat in the back so my brother and sister wouldn't fight i never asked for anything because i could see the stress and sadness it caused in my mum when my siblings did. i was the unpaid babysitter, cook, and maid. not to mention the emotional support i had to give. it's no wonder that i'm now an introvert with no interest in "friends" (i just can't do the emotional support thing anymore) or kids (raised my siblings). yet most people like me and say i'm a great listener and easy to talk to, and also funny. yes, because i STILL feel like i'm supposed to take care of everyone!
Pirates of Zen Pants 3 years ago
It warms my heart to see all the people who don't relate to these! Today I learned that some people have parents with reasonable expectations.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 3 years ago
Holy s**t....as the 10 year old left to care for a newborn due to a gravely I'll mum and a dad who couldn't afford to not work while her brothers were still allowed to be kids (one older, one younger) this hits a wee bit too hard
CL Rowan 3 years ago
Girls are *supposed* to know instinctively how to do housework, childcare, and yardwork!
Load More Replies... Jack 3 years ago (edited)
I wish my sister could have had a proper childhood instead of having to look after me while our mum and step dad went out every night drinking. I wish she hadn't witnessed the awful behaviour and physical abuse our real dad inflicted on our mum. I wish she could have felt as care free and non burdened as I did growing up, not understanding how she was treated by our mum. Now I'm older and I see the long term effects this had on her, I wish these things everyday. Going through what she did, for me, I know she knows how much I love her. But sometimes I don't feel like I tell her enough. If you have an older sib. Tell them how much you appreciate them. It means more to them than you might think.
ChickyChicky 3 years ago
Tell her! Recognizing and seeing what she did will mean so much to her.
Load More Replies... Krystol Grayson 3 years ago
I have never felt more seen in my life! Thank you to all the other eldest daughters who are keeping it strong and getting the therapy we all need!!
Mattewis88 3 years ago
I don't relate to a lot of these but I do feel like I was the guinea pig child for whatever the hell my parents thought raising a kid was. My younger sibling got away with everything I didn't and they'd be like "so, it wasn't as bad as we thought." "It didn't work with you." "We're not THAT again."
wowbagger 3 years ago
Wow, I didn't know this was a thing. But I'm an eldest daughter and I related to every one of these. I did manage to break free from my family and put my energy into my career, but of course I ended up playing the same role at my job that I played in my family. By the age of 45 I was having massive panic attacks and was perpetually exhausted, so I had to retire. After a lot of therapy, I'm doing much better now!
CJ Slays🇺🇦 3 years ago
eldest son but i'm trans and i understand every single one of these, i have to be the second parent to my little brother while also making sure the house is clean and the dishes are washed and the laundry is done.
CL Rowan 3 years ago (edited)
How many of us did/do this not because we want to, but for what will happen if we *don't*? I was dragged downstairs to the laundry room in the middle of the night by my father because I hadn't washed the dirty blankets before bed. I was told to stay there and not leave until it was DONE (about 5 hours of work). I put the 1st load in, cried for a half hour, and went back to bed figuring that I didn't care about the whipping I'd get. They had either forgotten by morning or figured sending me to school with belt marks would be a bad thing.
Load More Replies... NewNicknameAlert 3 years ago
I didn't agree with every last post, but more than half of these was something I dealt with growing up and still dealing with as an adult. Its sad and hurtful to not feel validated, seen or heard. I spent my childhood trying to get church members, school staff and family to hear my cries. Every last one let me down except my second grade teacher. Family even showed me that they didn't care much.
CL Rowan 3 years ago
Same, except it was my senior year creative writing teacher who saw me. Didn't help at that point, but I appreciated her concern.
Load More Replies... You May Like 45 People Share The Funniest Pics They Have With Their Siblings, Prove It’s A Blessing And A Curse To Have Them 157 Funniest Mother In Law Jokes That Might Bring The House Down
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