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People Are Cracking Up At These 35 Nonsensical Beliefs These Twitter Users Had As Kids
Childhood could be seen as one of the most adorable periods of a person’s life. The time when children start to ask and learn various things about the world is very important. And usually, it brings a lot of fun to adults who try to explain and share their knowledge as best as possible. I guess we all remember times when we struggled to understand certain matters. Having this in mind, Twitter user @ExileGrimm asked people what was the dumbest belief they had when they were kids. The tweet got more than 93k likes and almost 7k retweets.
Image credits: fklv (Obsolete hipster)
The Twitter user started the thread by sharing her own belief that birds grew from bird seeds and that she even managed to prove this to be right. In the comments, people also shared their own beliefs that they soon understood to be nonsense. Even though these thoughts were false assumptions, now they make thousands of people laugh and think of their own funny childhood stories.
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How dare you reveal his secret identity? Just between the two of us, my dad is his associate!
I thought people who spoke English were just faking it and everyone's native language was Ukrainian.
When I was little a whole bunch of people tried to get me to believe in that guy too! But at around the same time they wanted me to believe that a fairy took my lost baby teeth from under the pillow or out of a glass of water and left money instead, and they wanted me to believe SOMETHING (a magic rabbit?) left easter eggs hidden around the place, and also that a fat bearded man in a red suit broke into the house once a year to leave presents for children. The man in the sky was meant to be scary, but it was clearly just another made up character. And there was nothing to show for it like there was for the other characters. I decided against all of them.
Maria Schneider, I didn't need science to see through the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus. Really, this is what happened: all these guys were presented to me at around the same time - it was not possible for me to believe that they were real. Do you still believe in the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny? Did you need science to help you decide? No, you didn't. Science isn't necessary to see that these characters are all just ideas.
Load More Replies...Too bad. The Bible talks about a guy who healed people, took care of the poor, fought against those in power that oppressed the marginalized, called out those that made religion severe and meaningless, and talked constantly about a God that loves people. Not sure what you have against those attributes. I think we need more of that in this world.
You mean a god that created horrors like cancer in little children, ebola or the current pandemic? That condones a corrupt chuch that has been violent and criminal for centuries? ... That god does not exist but if he did he shouldnt be worshiped
Load More Replies...Who are you who are so wise in the ways of science?
Load More Replies...When I was a kid I thought God sent angels down earth to give kids to parents ,like my mom would be sleeping one day and next day morning she notice she had kid in her stomach but my question was how did God know who were married who were not?I didn't know unmarried people could have kids.I thought God was the Real Spy.Lol,I nevered asked my Mom.
Hey, I thought the same thing! Since I was told that god made us and sent babies to mothers, but only to MARRIED mothers (as far as I knew then), then how did god know when women were married? I guessed that god must be keeping track of the paperwork when a wedding happened. I wasn't very impressed by the idea of officework in heaven.
Load More Replies...Even though this is probably meant as a joke, I did actually believe this up until the age of about 12 or 13. I really felt a loss when It dawned on me that it was not the case.
This also can be, and mostly is, true. This is how kids learn about Christianity. This is how I was taught, but fortunately I started to think for myself and came to my senses - I'm very much atheist now.
Load More Replies...I believed that people would refrain from making judgments on concepts until they had studied them enough to fully understand them. I thought that is what intelligence was. Most of these comments sound like movie reviews by people who never saw the movie.
Children of 4 or 5 years don't make judgements on religion - or on any subject - after studying them enough to fully understand them. And what have religion and intelligence got to do with each other, anyway? Is religious understanding only for the intelligent, in your view?
Load More Replies...At 5, my mom and brother and I flew to California to join dad, who had been transferred. After mistaking the Grand Canyon for a snake, I asked her when we were going to see God. I figured we were in his back yard or neighborhood and we'd see him out mowing the lawn or washing his car.
If it turns out that there is such a thing as a man in the sky. He really sucks at hiring. Imo a big percentage of his ground crew sucks.
Jesus, that's worded perfectly, and is so very true (except I've always been an Atheist, luckily I never had to come to terms about religion, and the Bible is nothing more than contraindications, along w/a god that's, hands down, the biggest narcissistic sociopath whose ever 'lived', a wizard who demands his ego to be stroked constantly by humans. Who has setup rules that state you are to praise him constantly, and who will smite you for the tiniest thing. Yep, your religion sounds super fun and stress free.
Catholicism has its flaws, as does any religion. But I mean you need to believe in some form of higher power or a supreme being?
No u don't. U only need belief for solace. What any able being needs is seeking
Load More Replies...Now think about how horrible that would be: someone deliberately manipulating you and your situations just to see how you react. Does that someone deserve worship or condemnation?
Well, it's more like someone trying to make you stronger to survive the torments of the modern world, but sure. It seems like the main problem most people have with Catholicism is the amount of misinformation that gets spread around.
Load More Replies...The Bible: Love everyone! Also the Bible: 90% of the population is goin' to hell ahahaha
The Bible is the most sold book in the world. It is also the least read. Who or whatever or wherever people feel at peace and closer to the head honcho, I never question. I personally picture Him and Jesus, chillin in the man cave watching what's happening on earth. Next thing He smacks his forehead and yells "I never said that! How the hell did they get that out it? Who translated this stuff. I thought you proofread everything." Jesus shakes his head slowly and mumbles "I told you to computerize all this stuff. I mean, we ARE THE CLOUD." Then they have another beer and God gets back to play his Wi game to see what we screw up next.
That last part kind of makes God sound like a real bitch.
Fortunately most of you seem to know everything, so mysteries of the universe are of no use to you. I feel sorry if you can't entertain the possibility of the infinite, unknowable Divine.
I wish BP would stop putting things like this up because it causes a lot of people in the comments to say negative things toward each other and each other's beliefs.
Hey, at least someone was more creative while insulting me!
Load More Replies...The whole concept of god, hell, etc. is extremely FUCCKED UP. So glad I quit believing such delusions a long time ago. Whatever works, tho'.
Load More Replies...In the sky? I suppose if you count a distant planet as "in the sky" you could technically be correct. But he can't do ANYTHING. One example of something he can not do is Titus 1:2 KJV Further more, the judgement is forgiving and anything but harsh. And situations are created by the free will of our fellow humans. Rev. Dr. ▢▢▢▢▢▢ you have it close enough to be 100% wrong.
Who in his right mind would teach children something so overtly simplistic? I would have turned my back on faith long ago if I’d ever been fed such nonsense. Image ban suddenly doesn’t seem so repressive.
What else are you going to tell a 3 or 4 year old?
Load More Replies...Understandable. 1 is the smallest-100 is the largest. It's a unit of measurement that children can relate to..
I thought that long haired dogs and cats were girls and short haired ones were boys.
I am italian but when I speak/write in english I think in english I do not translate from italian...
I always thought when a woman threw up she was pregnant immediately after. This was thought when i was 6 or 7. Every time i threw up after that i sobbed. 🤷🏻♀️
When I heard the term "Great depression" the first time I thought it was because evrybody was really unhappy with how things were going. They never explained it here in the UK fully in history lessons. They just said "and at that time America was going through the great depression."
I used to think when there was a young version of a person on a program or movie then it was actually a video of the actor when they were a kid
Like when Elmer Fudd stuck the rifle barrel into the hole and it curled up out of the hole behind him!
When I was young, I thought that if I behaved good, treat others with respect and kindness, be honest and law-abiding, that would automatically mean that I would have a good, happy life, and got treated back the same way. No such luck.
Yeah, kinda like how I thought as an adult I wouldn't never be bullied again because adults know better and behave properly... little did I know...
Load More Replies...My friend told me that when she was little she did know there were muscles, bones and organs in her body. She thought it was all poop the whole way through. She told me this like 20 years ago and I can NOT forget this. I just picture her adorable little self completely unbothered by the idea that she's a poop balloon
Yeah, many preschoolers (hopefully friend wasnt older) think this. I remember thinking my entire butt was for poop.
Load More Replies...When I was 5 they told me that paper was made with trees.. I thought for about 2 years that they accurately choosed trees with white wood and no defects, and cut very very thin slice of wood to make paper sheets, until my teacher explained the entire process at school..
Though that is precisely the process for making wood veneer, so you can just shift that knowledge.
Load More Replies...I tried to hatch a fish egg by putting it in warm water and waiting patiently. It was smoked caviar.
You guys ever watch Pretty Woman? It was my absolute favorite movie when I was 5. There is a part where Julia Roberts pulls out some condoms and they are all different colors, she asks Richard Gere which one he wants and I though she was offering him lollipops. I remember this huge fight cause my aunt walked in and me and my cousins were watching it because you know I owned that VHS and she put me in time out after screaming at me that they don't allow things like that in her home. I put up quite the fight, there was nothing inappropriate about Pretty Woman and I believed my aunt to be nuts. Still feel that way to this day. I didn't realize the movie was about a prostitute until I was around 13. That movie has solidified my belief that kids can watch rated R movies because they don't know what is going on, and when they are old enough to know what is going on, then they are also old enough to watch it. Just my opinion.
I watched so many movies as a kid that I didn't understand. Watching them as a teen/adult and realising all the innuendo and inappropriate stuff... embarrassing.
Load More Replies...When I was a kid, probably from age 6 to 13? I thought that every female finds females attractive. Then I got familiar with the term "lesbian" :D
I was growing up in a non-religious area, so I thought that religion was some ancient thing nobody believed in anymore. When I was 11, I experienced a cultural shock when my roommate in a summer camp turned out to be a Christian who prayed every evening.
That does sound like a shock. I used to think my family and people at church were the only Catholics. Imagine my surprise when my classmate Seth started praying before lunch...
Load More Replies...Thanks to my sister I thought you had to be 7 or older to drink 7up 🤦♀️
When I was little (60-odd years ago), I took the expression "there's a first time for everything" just a bit too literally and lived in terror of the first time I would break a leg or an arm, have a heart attack, drown in the neighborhood pool, etc., etc..
When I was little I thought that photo's where developed in developing countries.
I used to think men with moustaches are the married ones and the ones without, were singles.
I used to think everyone but me could see their own faces, without use of a mirror. You know, because I could see them, so they probably could too.
When I was five or younger, since I got to run around outside without a shirt like my dad, I thought that I was a boy and that when I grew up I would turn into a girl. I thought the reverse happened to girls.
I was born in 80s, and thought that when it was lightning, God was clicking my photos so I would pose. Of course I would never get to see the photo right away, because we had to waiting for the 36 roll film to be developed.
I thought snipe hunting was real. At parties, the adults would send us out with spoons to clack and paper bags to catch snipes. Really they were getting rid of us so we couldn't see them get high. No one caught a snipe....
When I was really little I dreaded our annual doctor's checkup. That's because I thought the blood pressure cuff inflated my arm. I thought it injected air under my skin. and then blew it up like a balloon As the doc inflated the cuff, which I never watched, I was always freaked out that my arm would pop. My siblings were scared of shots, but I was horrified by the blood pressure cuff.
When I was a child (motherless) I thought that the hard breasts on Barbie dolls was a true representation of reality.
My husband was surprised and pleased when he found out that breasts on a real live woman were squishy. In fact I think he still hasn't got over the excitement 🤣
Load More Replies...I thought I could see the world spinning slowly until my dad told me it was just the clouds moving.
As a kid believed that "ex-husband" and "ex-wife" meant they had gotten married really fast, soon after they first met, without getting engaged first - not that they were no longer married!
I live in the uk & i though bluebirds were mythical until a few years ago i didnt know they were an actual bird real in the US/canada, theyre amazing!
I used to think the deep sea was underneath sand at the bottom of the ocean (sunlight zone).
I thought that a blood pressure cuff didn't inflate around my arm -- it actually inflated my arm like a balloon. Somehow, it injected air under my skin. I was always freaked out that my arm would pop. I never told anyone and lived in fear of our annual doctor's checkups.
I, too, thought dogs were all boys and cats were all girls. Also, my mother told my sibling and I that being noisy while cakes were baking would stop them from rising, rendering it inedible; something to do with vibrations in the air (which obviously passed through a closed oven door). I believed this up until my 20s. Little did I know she would bake a cake when she just wanted an hour of peace and quiet.
My friend still believes this (she's 20). Whenever I'm baking something with her she always tells me to be quiet or leave the room because she just doesn't want to believe that her mom could've lied to her.
Load More Replies...I asked my mom if girls *points to a 13 year old at the bus stop, out of earshot* grew penis's when older. I was 5 or 6. Similarly, the first time I felt a hole down there (aka my vagina) I thought it was new and everything sucked in. i internally freaked for a minute. Nobody explained that to me.
I thought any dirty looking cars, old cars, or cars that had anything visibly broken were alive and going to eat me. I cried and wouldn't let my parents park next to "junky cars." I saw the movie Maximum Overdrive when I was too young.
When I was a kid I used to think that if anyone got shot anywhere on their body in movies, then they'd die. So like if someone was shot in the leg, that character would perish.
I thought flushing a toilet summoned witches. I was terrified and would run like hell out of the bathroom after flushing.
I was told that humans "used to be monkeys" but misinterpreted it to mean that humans were born as animals. I was convinced that my grandma was born as a hen and "evolved" into a woman. My town was also hit by a tornadon in 1994, so I would have just turned 4. I wa convinced we had been attached by a killer tomato like the animated show. :p
I thought if I spoke up about ppl being mean it would stop.... NOPE. made it worse! So now I'm an introvert who barely stands up for herself bc shes scared of losing everything :D (sorry to being the mood down guys :l)
When I was little I believed that a ghost rider was a real ghost driving a car. It made perfect sense to me. A ghost could never get a drivers licence. So he must have stolen a car . I was disappointed when I found out it was a person in a car driving against traffic.
When I was a kid I thought ad breaks on TV were so the actors could have a rest. Mind you, it was because a mischievous teacher told me that just to mess with me.
Dude, you sound a little bit angry and dissapointed. It's not my party, but take care that the bitterness doesn't kill your soul. No offense..
Load More Replies...When I was young, I thought that if I behaved good, treat others with respect and kindness, be honest and law-abiding, that would automatically mean that I would have a good, happy life, and got treated back the same way. No such luck.
Yeah, kinda like how I thought as an adult I wouldn't never be bullied again because adults know better and behave properly... little did I know...
Load More Replies...My friend told me that when she was little she did know there were muscles, bones and organs in her body. She thought it was all poop the whole way through. She told me this like 20 years ago and I can NOT forget this. I just picture her adorable little self completely unbothered by the idea that she's a poop balloon
Yeah, many preschoolers (hopefully friend wasnt older) think this. I remember thinking my entire butt was for poop.
Load More Replies...When I was 5 they told me that paper was made with trees.. I thought for about 2 years that they accurately choosed trees with white wood and no defects, and cut very very thin slice of wood to make paper sheets, until my teacher explained the entire process at school..
Though that is precisely the process for making wood veneer, so you can just shift that knowledge.
Load More Replies...I tried to hatch a fish egg by putting it in warm water and waiting patiently. It was smoked caviar.
You guys ever watch Pretty Woman? It was my absolute favorite movie when I was 5. There is a part where Julia Roberts pulls out some condoms and they are all different colors, she asks Richard Gere which one he wants and I though she was offering him lollipops. I remember this huge fight cause my aunt walked in and me and my cousins were watching it because you know I owned that VHS and she put me in time out after screaming at me that they don't allow things like that in her home. I put up quite the fight, there was nothing inappropriate about Pretty Woman and I believed my aunt to be nuts. Still feel that way to this day. I didn't realize the movie was about a prostitute until I was around 13. That movie has solidified my belief that kids can watch rated R movies because they don't know what is going on, and when they are old enough to know what is going on, then they are also old enough to watch it. Just my opinion.
I watched so many movies as a kid that I didn't understand. Watching them as a teen/adult and realising all the innuendo and inappropriate stuff... embarrassing.
Load More Replies...When I was a kid, probably from age 6 to 13? I thought that every female finds females attractive. Then I got familiar with the term "lesbian" :D
I was growing up in a non-religious area, so I thought that religion was some ancient thing nobody believed in anymore. When I was 11, I experienced a cultural shock when my roommate in a summer camp turned out to be a Christian who prayed every evening.
That does sound like a shock. I used to think my family and people at church were the only Catholics. Imagine my surprise when my classmate Seth started praying before lunch...
Load More Replies...Thanks to my sister I thought you had to be 7 or older to drink 7up 🤦♀️
When I was little (60-odd years ago), I took the expression "there's a first time for everything" just a bit too literally and lived in terror of the first time I would break a leg or an arm, have a heart attack, drown in the neighborhood pool, etc., etc..
When I was little I thought that photo's where developed in developing countries.
I used to think men with moustaches are the married ones and the ones without, were singles.
I used to think everyone but me could see their own faces, without use of a mirror. You know, because I could see them, so they probably could too.
When I was five or younger, since I got to run around outside without a shirt like my dad, I thought that I was a boy and that when I grew up I would turn into a girl. I thought the reverse happened to girls.
I was born in 80s, and thought that when it was lightning, God was clicking my photos so I would pose. Of course I would never get to see the photo right away, because we had to waiting for the 36 roll film to be developed.
I thought snipe hunting was real. At parties, the adults would send us out with spoons to clack and paper bags to catch snipes. Really they were getting rid of us so we couldn't see them get high. No one caught a snipe....
When I was really little I dreaded our annual doctor's checkup. That's because I thought the blood pressure cuff inflated my arm. I thought it injected air under my skin. and then blew it up like a balloon As the doc inflated the cuff, which I never watched, I was always freaked out that my arm would pop. My siblings were scared of shots, but I was horrified by the blood pressure cuff.
When I was a child (motherless) I thought that the hard breasts on Barbie dolls was a true representation of reality.
My husband was surprised and pleased when he found out that breasts on a real live woman were squishy. In fact I think he still hasn't got over the excitement 🤣
Load More Replies...I thought I could see the world spinning slowly until my dad told me it was just the clouds moving.
As a kid believed that "ex-husband" and "ex-wife" meant they had gotten married really fast, soon after they first met, without getting engaged first - not that they were no longer married!
I live in the uk & i though bluebirds were mythical until a few years ago i didnt know they were an actual bird real in the US/canada, theyre amazing!
I used to think the deep sea was underneath sand at the bottom of the ocean (sunlight zone).
I thought that a blood pressure cuff didn't inflate around my arm -- it actually inflated my arm like a balloon. Somehow, it injected air under my skin. I was always freaked out that my arm would pop. I never told anyone and lived in fear of our annual doctor's checkups.
I, too, thought dogs were all boys and cats were all girls. Also, my mother told my sibling and I that being noisy while cakes were baking would stop them from rising, rendering it inedible; something to do with vibrations in the air (which obviously passed through a closed oven door). I believed this up until my 20s. Little did I know she would bake a cake when she just wanted an hour of peace and quiet.
My friend still believes this (she's 20). Whenever I'm baking something with her she always tells me to be quiet or leave the room because she just doesn't want to believe that her mom could've lied to her.
Load More Replies...I asked my mom if girls *points to a 13 year old at the bus stop, out of earshot* grew penis's when older. I was 5 or 6. Similarly, the first time I felt a hole down there (aka my vagina) I thought it was new and everything sucked in. i internally freaked for a minute. Nobody explained that to me.
I thought any dirty looking cars, old cars, or cars that had anything visibly broken were alive and going to eat me. I cried and wouldn't let my parents park next to "junky cars." I saw the movie Maximum Overdrive when I was too young.
When I was a kid I used to think that if anyone got shot anywhere on their body in movies, then they'd die. So like if someone was shot in the leg, that character would perish.
I thought flushing a toilet summoned witches. I was terrified and would run like hell out of the bathroom after flushing.
I was told that humans "used to be monkeys" but misinterpreted it to mean that humans were born as animals. I was convinced that my grandma was born as a hen and "evolved" into a woman. My town was also hit by a tornadon in 1994, so I would have just turned 4. I wa convinced we had been attached by a killer tomato like the animated show. :p
I thought if I spoke up about ppl being mean it would stop.... NOPE. made it worse! So now I'm an introvert who barely stands up for herself bc shes scared of losing everything :D (sorry to being the mood down guys :l)
When I was little I believed that a ghost rider was a real ghost driving a car. It made perfect sense to me. A ghost could never get a drivers licence. So he must have stolen a car . I was disappointed when I found out it was a person in a car driving against traffic.
When I was a kid I thought ad breaks on TV were so the actors could have a rest. Mind you, it was because a mischievous teacher told me that just to mess with me.
Dude, you sound a little bit angry and dissapointed. It's not my party, but take care that the bitterness doesn't kill your soul. No offense..
Load More Replies...