It's no secret that every person has their own skeletons in the closet, gloomy or not, secrets that are better not known to others. Sometimes these are just some small facts that, according to people, can cast a shadow on them in the eyes of others.
On the other hand, we are all human and we all make mistakes. And just like that, we want to look better than we are. Especially in such an important and responsible business as cooking. Who among us hasn't done little dirty tricks in the kitchen while no one is watching? Who hasn't passed off store-bought sauces as an old family recipe?
Some time ago, the AskReddit community faced one simple question: "What's your dirty kitchen secret?" The Original Poster herself was the first to admit - once she dumped out a whole bottle of her husband's nice balsamic vinegar, deciding that it was old clutter, and then "honestly" joined her husband in looking for it all over the kitchen. The thread became very popular, with about 5.4K upvotes and nearly 2.7K comments.
Bored Panda collected for you a selection of the most original kitchen confessions from various people. Some of them are real masterpieces, and some can turn into very useful advice for any home cook. By the way, if you need any culinary ideas - here's another one of our posts about "secret" ingredients when cooking, but for now, feel free to write your comments and maybe show something dark that is hiding in the back corner of your soul... and your kitchen as well.
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When I cook for other people, I’ll sterilize everything and buy most ingredients day of.
When I cook for myself, I’ll pick things up off of the floor and use any ingredient that passes the smell test.
As my family grows up and their various tastes/trends change I find it virtually impossible to please everyone or really anyone so I've basically lost my entire passion for cooking which used to be huge and now it's a freaking chore and they've choked one of my remaining pleasures right out of my life. I resent every bite that I cook. I've lost my mojo
I feel this deep. Sick of family members roll their eyes or say "I'm not going to like that". Maybe cook yourself?
I ordered 250$ worth of Belgium chocolate online and after it arrived, I hid the box from my kids.
My popular spinach dip recipe is just a specific store-brand deli item that I add things to (like sour cream, seasoning, etc).
Why don't I make it myself? No idea, this just seems easier.
Why don't I tell anyone? The pleasure of knowing I'm full of lies.
On grilled cheese sandwich night:
Wife's grandma: Make the tomato soup with water, not milk!
Me: *Makes it with milk*
Wife's Grandma: This is how I like it. I hate it with milk.
It's all fun and games until Grandma gets the walkin' toots from the milk
If Nana-in-Law is lactose intolerant, this could be a costly error. On the other hand, if she is not, and "doesn't like it with milk"... No harm. But find out beforehand.
It seems like literally no one read "It's grilled cheese night".
Load More Replies...If she's just picky - good for you. If she's gonna spend the next night playing porcelain tuba, then you should go there and smell the damage. Btw from the non milk milks I'd say almond milk is the best... or maybe soy milk. Almond is better with sweet foods and drinks soy with everything else
No way, my family can't tolerate milk. I use chicken boulion or stock
Load More Replies...My eldest sister always hated mushrooms. My mom used to make her cream of surprise soup and it was her favorite soup for years until she found the Campbell's can in the trash one day.
I think this speaks to a generational thing... Using water in condensed soups was more budget friendly than using expensive milk back during the depression. Now, if she's Lactose intolerant or has a legit reason, for not using milk that's different.
How about using boulion cubes or chicken stock instead?
Load More Replies...Im a bit mystified here as I've never heard of tomato soup made with milk. I make mine usually with sauteed onions and tomatoes, lots of pureed tomatoes and a dash of cream. Where does the milk, or water for that matter, come in?
When you make tomato soup from a can, it's usually concentrated and needs another can of liquid dumped in. Yours sounds delightful!
Load More Replies...When my mom used to make tomato soup, she would use a small bit of butter.
You can't make the tomato soup with water! It must be made with milk! :-)
Anyone care to explain how grilled cheese and tomato soup work together? Honestly asking
In an absolutely heavenly fashion. You cut the grilled cheese sandwich in half and dip it in the soup so the slight tangy sweetness of the soup soaks into the buttery bread and complements the melted cheese... Ugh, so good!
Load More Replies...Tomato soup made with milk is a different color than when made with water.
I have a very hard rule against messing with people's food. Allergies are no joke. Some allergies don't cause immediate problems, others can kill within minutes. That said... I have a special spice blend that I've created over the years. My husband is very adamant that he doesn't like most spices and I've made up a blend that is "free" of the things he claim that he doesn't like. I have the "recipe" taped to the inside of the pantry door and he reads it now and then, making sure I don't add something forbidden. He often tells people about my Amazing(!) blend and how it's so much better than anything you can buy. I'm doing it for my own sanity, salt and pepper is not enough seasoning to keep me happy.
No milk in tomato soup gross. Never heard of that. Now noodle soup, yes add 1/2 can milk 1/2 can water.
This is utterly irresponsible. Milk does nothing to me right away, but it causes my stomach to react to other foods for the rest of the week. It makes it very hard to eat and get the nutrients that I need, and your whole body can start to get sick without calories and things. I ain't got time for that. You have no idea how milk is going to affect the grandma. Imagine if she was getting sick and she didn't know why. If someone asks you to not give them a certain food, and you do it anyway, you're a bad person
I mean, I think making tomato soup with milk is superior but why is grandma not wanting tomato soup made with milk not a good enough reason? Even if it's not for health reasons, don't mess with people's food. Why is that the lesson when it comes to health reasons, yet when it's down to personal taste, it's 'I'll just ignore them and make it the way they don't want me to make it. They'll never notice.'?
I was inspired by Caramel week on the Great British Bake Off and made a batch of caramel sauce. It was so good I did shots with it until I drank half the batch.
Had a friend ask me to bring deviled eggs to a party but use non-fat yogurt instead of mayo because they hate mayo.
I used mayo and didn't tell them. They loved the deviled eggs.
I took up sourdough baking and serious home chef cooking prior the pandemic. I was home during throat cancer treatment (I'm fine now!) so I had time on my hands and my sleep schedule was wonky and I found that there was always something on Food Network to watch.
But the radiation killed my taste buds and I can't swallow food.
I've baked hundreds of sourdough loaves, countless baked goods, hundreds of meals from simple to complex.
Haven't. tasted. a. single. bite.
People rave over my new found skills.
Lol.
I use jarred tomato sauce.
Ain't nobody got time to f**k with a bunch of tomatoes.
Homemade marinara/pomodoro isn't difficult but it's definitely time consuming and honestly you can take the ragu garlic or garden vegetable and jazz it up with fresh garlic onions peppers and mushrooms and make it amazing. Also if you want a bolognese take a hot and a sweet Italian sausage and like half a pound of 80/20 ground beef (the lean stuff isn't greasy enough) and mix it with the aforementioned concoction and it's phenominal
The snickerdoodle cookies that everyone loves and asks for every Christmas are just Pillsbury slice and bake sugar cookies. I roll em in a ball, coat them in cinnamon and sugar and call it a day.
I make these from scratch, I'd do Pillsbury if I could too. Side note: those cookies need less butter and more baking soda/powder. And less time in the oven
Sometimes I just wipe out my non-stick pan with paper towel and put it back in the cupboard rather than washing it.
Nutmeg. My wife thinks she hates it. I put it in certain recipes to send them over the edge. She likes to cook, too, and hasn't been able to replicate those particular recipes, which she loves . It doesn't take much to enhance the nuttiness, or compliment the sweetness, or add a layer to the spiciness of certain dishes. For starters, try it in your quiche - nutmeg plays so well with gruyere and Swiss cheese!
My Asian wing sauce is equal parts sambal Olek and honey. Cut it with soy sauce.
I told everyone that it’s “a process”
It’s literally the easiest thing I make.
My wing sauce is: ketchup, sugar & honey, vinegar, hot sauce, pineapple juice, garlic, ginger, smoked pepper and a mix of flour and water for thickening. But I don't like wings so it's my everything chicken sauce (The recipe is from Washington DC)
I eat a fancy lunch at the fancy grocery store when I go shopping there. I purposely go solo so I don’t have to share my luxe meal with anyone.
On most days I just resort to using Jarlic instead of fresh garlic.
This is a long one, the long con if you will.
Last year my girlfriend and I hosted Thanksgiving. Her family being from the Maritimes insisted that the stuffing be homemade, since their stuffing was always homemade. We reluctantly agreed.
We used Stovetop stuffing (the boxed stuff) and come dinner time, we got compliments, naturally. Her sister said "this tastes like stovetop" ... pause... "thank you!" I replied.
Her mother passed away a few months ago, and while we were saying our private goodbyes to her, while she was in a medically induced coma, we admitted that the stuffing was in fact the boxed stuff.
Nobody knows but her, and I love it.
No one knows I use Knorr Beef Stock Pot in many of my sauces and stews.
Those pots are literally flavor bombs
I'm classically trained, worked in the industry for... S**t since 1994, when I was 15 folding boxes in a pizza place. I've cooked every kind of cuisine imaginable, I've worked in places with michelin stars... And my all time favorite food is microwaved banquet salsbury steak. I'll buy and f**k up a [family size container of them at least once a month. I'm addicted.
I've been in the industry off and on both front and back of house at a variety of levels of cuisine (no Michelin stars but I've cooked at places with four dollar signs on yelp and I'm totally hooked on taco bell and pizza rolls....
I hide the jam from my husband. He's British and eats it by the spoonful every day, so I had to take measures
I only wash my vegetables/fruit if someone else is watching me cook (of if they’re visibly dirty obviously). I just can’t be arsed and I figured if pesticides/production contamination are what kills me, I was meant to eat fast and die young
While in a grocery store I watched someone sneeze (big open mouth sneeze) all over a fresh fruit display. You bet I wash my produce! What happened in the field isn't the only thing in our fruit and veggie's history!
My closely guarded family secret brisket recipe:
Brisket
Sliced onions
Heinz chili sauce (the whole bottle)
Lipton onion soup mix (must be the powder, must be Lipton)
12-16oz of the soda of your choosing. Mom does root beer, I do Dr Pepper.
Throw everything in the crockpot for at least 6 hours on low.
Also works for pork shoulder (for that I like ginger ale).
i use Better than Bouillon 'roast chicken' flavor base/bouillon in every soup i make, or anything that calls for broth/stock. sometimes i also add a little BTB mushroom base too, for even more umami. it tastes amazing, lasts forever, and saves time/space/waste. sometimes on special occasions i'll make stock from scratch, or i'll make specific stocks from scratch as a recipe calls for it (shrimp stock is easy/fast enough to make, and if i make pho or ramen i definitely go from scratch. but that's a rare project). but 9 times out of 10 i'm more than happy to use BTB, i think it tastes great.
Just to add a bit, if you ever make rice or a chicken pasta, add BTB in the water first. We started making it with chicken broth in the box and it was amazing. Then we switched to BTB to save packaging/waste/money. So worth it.
For the holidays I make cranberry sugar cookies for my grandma (her recipe), last year I completely forgot to mix the cranberry into the dough and she didn't notice. She blamed her lack of taste for the holiday weather and I let her, she kept lamenting on how she knows I'm so good at cooking and yada yada. Oh well, try again to remember to mix it in this year!
Also throw out stuff from my parents pantry that's old or that they'll never eat (looking at you canned creamed spinach) but I move boxes and cans forward to it looks like their shelves are full so they won't buy more stuff.
My mother passed away a few months ago and I'm the one who got most of the food from her pantry. My goodness, I threw so much stuff away it's incredible. Most of it was expired - like expired since 2012 or something. My brothers could have checked those out instead of packing everything and get me to lease a minivan to move my mother's stuff over at my house 6 hours away. Oh well. I would still probably needed the minivan without the food.
I chop storebought creamy caesar dressing in with the meat when I make a Philly cheesesteak. No one has ever guessed it, and everyone is blown away at how awesome they taste.
I worked at a restaurant where a kid made balsamic reduction out of the 3L of 25 year old balsamic.
To this day he’s known as “Money Bals”. That was 2012 😬
As a mexican, Doña María mole with a couple of large tomatoes cooked in chicken broth, blended with extra mexican chocolate and peanut butter for a "homemade" classic, lol. Thanks to my ex sis in law for the "family recipe".
I am intrigued by this meal. Tomatoes I love, broth is tasty, peanut butter also, and my favorite is chocolate.. but the combo of all.. hmm
I drank more wine than usual a few weeks ago and ate half a bag of Cheetos (family size) for dinner.
The secret ingredient to my famous from scratch mac and cheese is Velveeta. I have done it with real cheddar, gouda, swiss you name never as good as when there is a little Velveeta.
All my friends and family think I'm a great cook.
They tell me that all the time.
My dirty secret: I have very under-developed taste buds.
I'm only good at shape & texture of foods.
I once heard a similar story was the secret to Ben and Jerry's early success. One of them (I don't remember if it was Ben or Jerry) was developing the recipe for ice cream, and kept adding vanilla because it didn't taste much like vanilla. It turned out that he had a problem tasting it (again, I don't recall if it was a permanent condition or temporary), so by the time he could taste it, he'd added several times the typical quantity of vanilla. And that's why B&J's vanilla ice cream tastes so good.
My sister always insists only one specific pepper blend is any good to her. I replaced the pepper in her grinder with grocery store pepper. It still tastes good to her.
A sister of a friend only drank Volvic Water, an expensive brand. Their mother always filled the water up with tap water and acted like someone else already took a bit off it, so she wouldn't wonder about the seal being broken. She took six months to figure it out, though she's a smart person
I use these bullion cubes that aren't the super hard rocks, and before I drop them in l like to pinch off a corner and eat it.
I make tomato sauce for shakshuka “from scratch“ by adding tomato purée to diced tomatoes from a can. The tomatoes where I live suck and the stuff from the can is at least consistent with regard to flavour / acidity profile. Everyone loves me for “homemade” shakshuka ;)
this is what I'm always saying. Don't use "fresh" if it's old and shipped in. Freezing and canning and preserving is the better option. so is using them when they're made by others
My lemon bars I make for my family/coworkers every July 4 is just from the Pillsbury website.
The recipe literally ended up in a cookbook thing we did at work like it was something special I made up
I mix Frank's Red with Kraft ranch dressing and mash poor quality chicken into it to bring to parties as party dip. Everyone thinks I'm a culinary genius. I'm really really *really* not. Apparently me and my group of friends all have f*****g gutter pallets.
I mix those two as a wing sauce. If I were going to do what you're suggesting, I'd add cream cheese too!
I’m a pastry chef but storebought carrot cake all the way.
I LOVE carrot cake. One of the few that if you tried to ruin my birthday with it, you'd make it awesome. It really depends on the frosting. It needs that cream cheese tang. And yes, I've seen bakeries try to pass off carrot cake with whipped cream or terrible butter cream. Not cool.
My wife refuses to taste anything or try new foods so I sneak them in. Fish sauce being one lol.
Not mine but my SIL once ran out of the ingredients for brownies (like cocoa powder and flour specifically) and substituted hot cocoa mix. They were awful but she still served them to her boyfriend and pretended she had no idea what he was talking about when he questioned the consistency/flavor.
Hot cocoa mix is usually Coco powder and sugar. Getting the right amount would be the hard part. Adding melted chocolate bars/chips would have solved the problem. Super fudgy brownies 😋
We dropped part of the yolk mixture for deviled eggs on the floor. We considered scooping it up, but the cat got to it before we could. So we made up the difference with cottage cheese.
Mom and I got away with it cold, and that was before you could get smoked paprika.
Unpopular opinion: if you buy store-bought anything, (dip, dressing, canned goods, pre-mades), and then you add things, stir it around, use it unconventionally... it no longer counts as store-bought. Home-made and made from scratch are two different things. A lasagne that I buy frozen and jam in the oven is store-bought, but if I buy lasagne noodles, cheese, and meatballs, and then assemble and cook it? it is not a store-bought lasagne.
Finally someone says there's a difference between "from scratch" and "homemade". Homemade can be from scratch but not always as read above in Elea Bell's definition.
Load More Replies...Seriously, don't try to "trick" people by serving them something they say they don't eat. They might be allergic to it, and if so, you possibly kill them for accident or sent them off to the hospital.
Even something as minor as the salt content in processed foods can cause issues.
Load More Replies...Highly intolerant to onion, I can't express how bad it is. So if you try to pull a trick on the food you serve me substituting a home made thing w/ store bought s**t that has onion in it? And it affects me? You will have pain coming your way.
I suggest that if you have people frequently eat what you cook, ask them for any food allergies to prevent accidents or if they're currently in any strict diet
My Dad hates garlic so always says to my Mother when she's making spaghetti bolognese 'Don't put garlic in' she always does ... he always eats it lol
Friendly reminder: downvotes are NOT dislike buttons. Downvoting a comment just because you don't agree = not cool. If a comment gets downvoted, its author will get banned from the site. So please downvote only in case of obvious spam ("how to make cash") or if someone is literally harrassing a fellow panda
I didn't know that, so thank you. Also, why would this site do that?? People say a lot of stupid or not particularly nice things, myself included occassionally, that deserve to be downvoted for many reasons. But, they don't deserve to be banned. I did notice that there isn't an option to report particularly horrible comments; now I realize that the downvote is essentially that. I'm sure the reasoning was along the lines of keeping things civil if down downvoting is meant for very nasty things or spam so people won't downvote others they just don't agree with.
Load More Replies...Chickpea brownies. I use a recipe from Chocolate Covered Katie and they are soooo good and fudgy. Try making them and surprising people! "Healthy" brownies!!
Here's the recipe if someone is interested: https://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/chickpea-brownies-recipe/
Load More Replies...My grandmother always made me banana bread, from when I was a toddler to sending me loaves when I was in boarding school. When I lived with her for a while, she wanted me to learn how to make it myself, and it was the recipe from the back of Jiffy box. She did teach me to use fully-ripened bananas, which she peeled and froze for future use. I hated bananas, but I loved me some of that banana bread.
When I was growing up, I was just happy to have food. I ate whatever I was served. Being grateful for the food you have can make "almost" anything taste good. If you're not allergic try it. You may find you have a new favorite dish. Also, people are more apt to invite you over for meals if you're not a picky eater.
Why does Ranch Dressing in the bottle taste nothing like what you end up getting from the powdered mix? I bought Ranch in the bottle from Hidden Ranch and it tastes nothing like original mix. Why, Hidden Ranch, Why?
My cooking secret is that I use malic acid instead of lemon juice or vinegar in most cases. I bought a small jar of it online years ago, and it's lasted for years, since you only ever need a pinch of it at a time. The benefit is that it comes in a powder similar to salt, so adding it doesn't add liquid to the meal. It doesn't run off meats, and it doesn't carmelize or lose flavor when heated like lemon juice does. The only time I would still use real lemon is if I also needed the peel or if I was making a pie where lemon was the main feature
I use steak sauce as a seasoning for everything. I use it akin to salt and pepper. It's just SO good and I love it! I will admit it doesn't go with everything... But it's like hot sauce.... I put that sh*t on everything! 😂
Throw it on some white rice... Throw it on some yellow or pink rice too (seasoned with sazon)... Mac n cheese... Mac salad... Tuna/tuna salad... And if course.... Some actual steak
Load More Replies...I don't make pinto beans. My sister and mother do. Hubs asked me to make him some. Then asked me not to ever again. Lol I didn't taste test cause I don't like them. I'm not even upset about it. Lol
Unpopular opinion: if you buy store-bought anything, (dip, dressing, canned goods, pre-mades), and then you add things, stir it around, use it unconventionally... it no longer counts as store-bought. Home-made and made from scratch are two different things. A lasagne that I buy frozen and jam in the oven is store-bought, but if I buy lasagne noodles, cheese, and meatballs, and then assemble and cook it? it is not a store-bought lasagne.
Finally someone says there's a difference between "from scratch" and "homemade". Homemade can be from scratch but not always as read above in Elea Bell's definition.
Load More Replies...Seriously, don't try to "trick" people by serving them something they say they don't eat. They might be allergic to it, and if so, you possibly kill them for accident or sent them off to the hospital.
Even something as minor as the salt content in processed foods can cause issues.
Load More Replies...Highly intolerant to onion, I can't express how bad it is. So if you try to pull a trick on the food you serve me substituting a home made thing w/ store bought s**t that has onion in it? And it affects me? You will have pain coming your way.
I suggest that if you have people frequently eat what you cook, ask them for any food allergies to prevent accidents or if they're currently in any strict diet
My Dad hates garlic so always says to my Mother when she's making spaghetti bolognese 'Don't put garlic in' she always does ... he always eats it lol
Friendly reminder: downvotes are NOT dislike buttons. Downvoting a comment just because you don't agree = not cool. If a comment gets downvoted, its author will get banned from the site. So please downvote only in case of obvious spam ("how to make cash") or if someone is literally harrassing a fellow panda
I didn't know that, so thank you. Also, why would this site do that?? People say a lot of stupid or not particularly nice things, myself included occassionally, that deserve to be downvoted for many reasons. But, they don't deserve to be banned. I did notice that there isn't an option to report particularly horrible comments; now I realize that the downvote is essentially that. I'm sure the reasoning was along the lines of keeping things civil if down downvoting is meant for very nasty things or spam so people won't downvote others they just don't agree with.
Load More Replies...Chickpea brownies. I use a recipe from Chocolate Covered Katie and they are soooo good and fudgy. Try making them and surprising people! "Healthy" brownies!!
Here's the recipe if someone is interested: https://chocolatecoveredkatie.com/chickpea-brownies-recipe/
Load More Replies...My grandmother always made me banana bread, from when I was a toddler to sending me loaves when I was in boarding school. When I lived with her for a while, she wanted me to learn how to make it myself, and it was the recipe from the back of Jiffy box. She did teach me to use fully-ripened bananas, which she peeled and froze for future use. I hated bananas, but I loved me some of that banana bread.
When I was growing up, I was just happy to have food. I ate whatever I was served. Being grateful for the food you have can make "almost" anything taste good. If you're not allergic try it. You may find you have a new favorite dish. Also, people are more apt to invite you over for meals if you're not a picky eater.
Why does Ranch Dressing in the bottle taste nothing like what you end up getting from the powdered mix? I bought Ranch in the bottle from Hidden Ranch and it tastes nothing like original mix. Why, Hidden Ranch, Why?
My cooking secret is that I use malic acid instead of lemon juice or vinegar in most cases. I bought a small jar of it online years ago, and it's lasted for years, since you only ever need a pinch of it at a time. The benefit is that it comes in a powder similar to salt, so adding it doesn't add liquid to the meal. It doesn't run off meats, and it doesn't carmelize or lose flavor when heated like lemon juice does. The only time I would still use real lemon is if I also needed the peel or if I was making a pie where lemon was the main feature
I use steak sauce as a seasoning for everything. I use it akin to salt and pepper. It's just SO good and I love it! I will admit it doesn't go with everything... But it's like hot sauce.... I put that sh*t on everything! 😂
Throw it on some white rice... Throw it on some yellow or pink rice too (seasoned with sazon)... Mac n cheese... Mac salad... Tuna/tuna salad... And if course.... Some actual steak
Load More Replies...I don't make pinto beans. My sister and mother do. Hubs asked me to make him some. Then asked me not to ever again. Lol I didn't taste test cause I don't like them. I'm not even upset about it. Lol