Father Forgot About His Daughter’s Existence After Her Half-Brother Got Cancer, More Than A Decade Later Tries To Reconnect With Her, But She Shuts Him Down

Agree 1010%

Really? The *child* should understand the trauma of the parent? The CHILD?! THE child is a product of the upbringing, or lack of in this case. Her father and stepmother scarred her for life. AND THE GRANDMOTHER kept the record of the child's trauma in a BOOK for her, along with the caring ones ftom her dead mother. So in your opinion she should lie about that book, crush it into herself, never show it to the very person/people who caused her to create it, who caused her pain as a child?? You would blame her for wanting to stay away from this person who had nothing for her? What don't you understand about trauma and neglect?

This person Chico , either has a controlling narcissistic mother that guilts him constantly or he himself is a narcissistic parent. That's the only explanation.

Why did you pin this on the MOTHER?? It was the selfish father who did this, but you blamed the mother.

He's right about one thing: OP is broken. But he seems to have twisted the narrative to epic proportions.

YOU LOSE! YOU GET *NOTHING*!! GOOD DAY SIR!!

Her grandmother kept the mother's drawings, not op's, the book she gave only has the mother's work, not her trauma or anything.

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The "child" is now an adult. She's not at fault but she really should seek professional help to deal with her grief and lack of empathy. Her father is a human being and humans are not perfect. They also are capable of change. She very likely will find that her hard headedness and cold heartedness will leave her with even more regrets.

Just because she's an adult *now* doesn't negate the harm done to her growing up. That was the entire point of her sharing her journal with him. To show him the harm he caused. Humans aren't perfect, but generally speaking, unless confronted with their bad acts, fail to improve. She also expressed the wish that he does get better, for the sake of his family members who are still emotionally invested in him. But she has every right to revoke *her* emotional investment and move on with her life. Emotional investments are *earned*, not obligations.

Yes, they're capable of chnage, but no one is obliged to forgive, even if it's the nicer form of action. Her father, and adult, couldn't hold himself together and be there for his 7 years old daughter during an also extremely difficult time in her life, and only scarred her throughout his life, now she's only 24 years old, and adult yes, but years of trauma aren't that easily dealt with, she empathised with him, but that doesn't forgive or excuse anything he did to her. As a human she can empathise and wish him the best, bur its hard to accept him as her father again and accept him back in her life. Maybe her now even much older adult father could reflect mroe on her actions and try to apologise or make it up to her in any way, but it'll take a long time and patience from both parties.

She also described that time as trying to survive herself so I took it that was one reason it was dark and that she was older and figuring out how her neglect and the cruelty they had shown her was actually abuse and reason for her depression and freezing up. That's what I read and that's not being cold but coming to stark reality that abuse victims come to when they finally can no longer deny it ans can no longer make excuses. They have to face it and get lots of help to overcome it and keep themselves together and moving toward healing/ surviving. The realization if she was just allowed to live with grandparents her life and mental health would've been so different and he was selfish to deprive her means he's more than just neglectful!! To deny her is unparentlike is what this middle aged parent sees and his attorney probably told him to get in touch with her bc of divorce as they do that ya know, especially if wife was going to claim cruelty or neglect too! It's strategy and her reality check devastated that plan and to have his flying monkeys guilt/ shame her proves manipulation too. NC is her haven until he gets therapy and empathy for her lost, traumatic childhood

Flying monkeys.... exactly. This man is a manipulative narcissist. I only hope she stays strong and stays NC forever. He already ruined her childhood I hope he isn't allowed to ruin her peace.

This. You describe OP rightly as a victim of parental abuse. Those people who are writing that she lacks empathy, well, she was shown none when her mother died. Those saying that she will regret cutting off her father, because “he’s himan. he makes mistakes.” No he systematically abused his daughter. And those saying she should have spent time with her brother, like it was such a simple thing, are blind to the fact that access to him was controlled by father and step mom. She could continue to be abused by them, or she could save herself.

Exactly, she probably felt like she was "abandoning" her brother when she stopped seeing him, but realized that she might not survive herself if she continued living with them

That's right, she is telling us the story from her side. That's what she lived through. The fact you have no concern for her pain makes me believe you are probably like her so called father. The fact you're telling her ( the abandoned child) to see the pain her "father" is going through, is very telling, either you're a narcissist or you have a narcissistic parent. Clearly you lack empathy. Go away.

I guess you ARE the father!

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I have to agree. I do understand for a kid she felt neglected but she did sound very detached talking about every person. Seems like life is to short to punish people for their shortcomings. Life is too short to miss out on family. I'm speaking from someone who comes from a family that was abusive and selfish and I still keep healthy relationships with them because life is so short man

Thank you for proving my point about selfishness. As for "my generation", I was born in 1970.

Ummm, I'm of "your generation". I was born in 1968. Our generation IS selfish and self centered. Much more so than the ones that have come after us.

I was replying to Noname's comment which seems to have actually dropped below this one. He was implying younger generations are more selfish. I happen to agree with you, instead. I think our generation has some of the most selfish, entitled bastards in the last century. The kids growing up now are alright - much less self centered.

Don't you think that our generation's selfishness is just backlash from the entitlement we were the progeny of?

I was born in 1972. Our generation is, imo, NOT generally selfish and self-centered. If this seems the case it's often backlash because folks felt like they had no voice. The ones before are, with many notable exceptions, much worse. And the ones after are not worse, they just aren't eating the shìt silently like we did.

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She wasn’t a child she was a teenager. A self absorbed teen girl that thinks the world revolves around her. Most teenage girls are complete devious a******s but when her HALF brother 3 yr old has cancer and parents had even more on plate she only thought of self. Dad doing things with brother probably treatment or therapy God forbid

She was 7 when her mother died and about 9 when the neglect began. She was a *child*.

Coming to recognize abuse for what it is and taking steps to protect yourself from it isn't and should be considered not supporting your family. You're exactly the type of abuser who would rather push these things under the rug than accept any sort of responsibility or consequences for your personal poor decisions. It's not up to those around you to accommodate your hatefulness.