
“[Am I The Jerk] For Demanding My SIL Pay Me Back For A Christmas Gift That She Destroyed That Was For My Kids And Shouldn’t Have Been Touched?”
Christmas is coming, and so is all this wonderful holiday magic that we love and always look forward to. Houses decorated with multi-colored lights, bright light from the windows where the whole family has gathered at the festive table, fluffy Christmas trees, Santa with his awesome gifts – in general, all these incredibly warm and wonderful stories that Christmas is so famous for.
However, Christmas is famous not only for such tales, and the one that we want to tell you now is far from being so bright. We can say that its main idea many, many years ago, in a galaxy far, far away, was expressed by Obi-Wan Kenobi: “You were supposed to fight evil! Not join it!” But one of the heroines of this story clearly went the way of Anakin Skywalker. No, of course, she is far from the Sith Lord’s brutal charisma, but the first step on the Dark Side of the Force has definitely been taken by her…
This story first appeared on the AITA Reddit community two years ago, exactly on Christmas Eve, and as of now, the original post has around 9.5K upvotes and over 1K different comments. A good reason to get to know all the details.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post and her spouse bought a VR set for their kids for Christmas and left it at the SIL’s house to not ruin the surprise
Image credits: college.library (not the actual image)
So, the author of the post and her husband had been leaving Christmas presents for their children at his sister’s house for many years. We must call it a commendable foresight – after all, on Christmas Eve, children are known to be aggravated by curiosity and everyone gets +10 to the Search for Hidden Gifts skill. And what could be worse than a spoiled surprise? Worse, as we will see later, happens, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Image credits: u/anonthrowaway629
So, the Original Poster and her husband decided to order a VR set for their children this time. Quite an expensive thing – it cost the couple $400, not counting shipping. The OP called her SIL in advance and they agreed that the gift would go to her pantry again to wait for its finest hour. She, of course, agreed. But the main events just lay ahead.
Image credits: u/anonthrowaway629
The day before it all happened, the spouses came over and the husband set everything up, installing several games as well
Shortly before the holiday, the OP and her husband came to SIL’s house because the man wanted to set up the Oculus in advance and install several games for the children so that the gift could be used immediately. So they did, and then they left, completely satisfied with themselves. There were only a few hours left until the moment when the new family drama would unfold…
Image credits: u/anonthrowaway629
The next day the SIL texted the author stating that her daughter had broken the VR set on accident
Thunder struck the next day when the OP received a message from her SIL saying “Sorry you guys but Heather found your Oculus and she took it out and broke it.” In other words, the OP’s 13-year-old niece had robbed her cousins of a Christmas present… Of course, the OP and her spouse were mad with frustration, so they jumped in the car and went to sort things out.
Image credits: Susanne Nilsson (not the actual image)
After seeing what was left of the wonderful $400 VR set, the OP couldn’t even believe that a teen girl had done it – after all, the unfortunate Oculus was literally smashed, as if someone had hit it with a hammer. And at the most tense moment, Heather appeared on the stairs wearing her headphones. The OP’s husband walked up to his niece, put his hand on her shoulder and asked, “What do you have to say for yourself?”
Image credits: u/anonthrowaway629
It turned out that the mom broke the gift herself and attempted to blame her daughter, but got exposed
The girl looked at her uncle with a blank look, and when he explained about the broken VR set, something unusual happened. Heather literally turned to her mother while laughing like a maniac and said: “Really? Are you serious right now? You broke the thing and now you’re trying to blame me? Are you kidding me?” After that, the teen abruptly turned around and ran out of the house, finally slamming the door deafeningly.
Image credits: u/anonthrowaway629
And then everything became quite clear to the spouses. The OP’s husband was indignant and told his sister that he expected her to pay $400 for the cost of the broken Oculus, plus $18 for shipping, so that they could quickly buy a similar replacement item for their kids and be in time for the rapidly approaching Christmas. The SIL, in turn, categorically stated that she wasn’t going to pay anything.
Image credits: u/anonthrowaway629
The author’s husband demanded that his sister pay the price of the broken gift and she just called them jerks for making her pay for something that was broken on accident
A completely ugly quarrel broke out between the Original Poster’s husband and his sister, in the heat of which the man accused her not only of breaking the gift for his children, but also of trying to lie and blame her own daughter. She, in turn, called her relatives jerks for making her pay for something that was broken on accident so close to Christmas.
Image credits: Eric Lewis (not the actual image)
Most people in the comments sided with the couple, calling the SIL rude and irresponsible
However, in this particular conflict, most of the commenters completely took the couple’s side, arguing that the author’s SIL is actually extremely rude and irresponsible for not only refusing to pay but for blaming it on her own daughter. However, as the author of the post herself said in the comments, she later called Heather and apologized to the girl for her mom’s blatant lie. Also, according to the OP, Heather was coming over to her house that night for dinner.
In addition, some folks in the comments believe that this story should become a kind of lesson for the future for the Original Poster and her husband – not to give such important things like expensive Christmas gifts to other people, even close relatives, but always rely on themselves. And maybe start educating their own kids not to open any packages brought to the house as well.
If you are interested in some great pre-Christmas stories, then this post of ours about a woman to whom a classical Hallmark movie moment happened in real life is quite likely to do. And besides, we are already looking forward to your own comments and possibly similar stories in the comments to this post.
While SIL was definitely in the wrong, I agree that 11 years old is old enough to know not to snoop or open packages. When I was a kid there was a sign on the spare bedroom in December that said, "Santa's Workshop: If this door is opened all the gifts will return to the North Pole." Not one of us ever dared open that door!
Rule at my house is "if you snoop, the present or presents you saw get returned" it's very effective.
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What's the point of that rule? If the kids know that's there is no Santa then why go out of your way to upset them for their curiosity?
It's really funny you think you could actually put a sign up that already tells the kid the presents are there, and then think you could outsmart an 11 year old. Lol, that's hilarious. It's always a mistake to underestimate how smart kids are. They are all professional crooks.
So what your saying is kods cant open the door to Santa's workshop, but adults that know better and should have a fully developed cognitive skills associated with an adult are allowed to snoop and break Santa's toys on top. Oooookay.
I agree. I'm twisting into a pretzel trying to imagine possible extenuating circumstances to push this from ESH to NTA. Like what if the box wasn't a plain brown box but had a picture of what was inside? Or what if they have more kids than the 11-year-old, or the 11-year-old is a "high spirited" child ("difficult") and the parents have made a judicious choice not to die on the hill of teaching the child not to open the mail? But then why didn't they find another solution like buying a porch-pirate-defeating package box or something?
Yes. Christmas aside, I knew full well by that age that I should not open anything that was not addressed to me. I do wonder if they started doing this 6 years ago, when the child was 5, and have just continued it more for the convenience of having someone accept their deliveries than because their kid will snoop. After all, the only way to know if he'd snoop now is to stop having things delivered to his aunt's house.
I don't understand kids or people that want to ruin surprises. I was never that way - as a kid I was terrified of seeing my gifts by accident somehow. Never went in my mom and dad's closet or anything.
I was the same.
I was a snooper as a kid. It's not that I wanted to ruin Christmas, I was just a very curious kid and it was more like a game for me. Often when I found where they were stashed, I'd leave it at that and not investigate further. I think we're being too harsh on the kids for snooping.
I think the whole thing is beyond ridiculous, is the kid knows there is no Sants, what is it too you if they snoop around and see their presents before is due, worst for them that they will have to wait until Xmas, but is a harmless behavior unless you're a control freak
The idea isn’t to ruin surprises, it’s just the curiosity can eat away at a child, so they snoop to satisfy their curiosity, giving themselves peace of mind. It’s not malicious at all
Curiosity killed the cat. You can hide the presents from the younger kids; the older ones need to practice self-discipline. If that's not possible, then go out and buy a freaking piece of lockable luggage to hide the presents in. It's really that simple. Another idea: get some "decoy" presents that are totally boring, like socks and a shirt, and wrap those up. Then, when the little snoops find those, they will be totally disappointed, which will serve them right. OP's kids sound very spoiled and undisciplined, IMO.
Everyone forgets the full saying. It's curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. The saying generally means the opposite of people who want to use it to justify something.
Or ignore a harmless behavior?
Man people are missing the point.the kids didnt do anything. SIL did DO something and she is a grown adult. You expect a kid to follow the rules, but not an adult. Come on now.
Some people hate surprises....I do. Just give me the gift. No wrapping or tag needed
For real! That always drove me crazy in movies and tv shows. You’re ruining the fun for yourself.
For some of us, surprises are no fun :(
Same. Good things come to those who wait, after all.
right. I used to spend ages looking at my presents under the tree. never squeezing or feeling them. just looking at the piles of presents (not all for me, obviously) and feeling excited about Christmas. it was never about trying to guess what they were, it's that it was just so exciting that they were there. yes, i would wonder what they were, but it wasn't trying to guess. it was just anticipation and excitement. I had friends that were dreadful for searching the whole house, and I never understood why they'd want to ruin the surprise or the anticipation.
I was that kid. But then again, my mother and my sister were as well. Christmas was a game of keep away. The goal was to find out what they got you, without them knowing what you got them. We weren't surprise type people, but apparently, we were spy vs spy people. The game was the best part of christmas. Mom was a shake'n'sniffer, she could gues like 75% of the time just by doing that. Sister and I devised a new strategy every year. Bugged the house with microcassette recorders. Set up a series of well-placed mirrors around the house. Taped down the button on a walkie-talkie and lowered it down the heating vent. Figured out how to unwrap a present without damaging the paper, then rewrap. Games ended the year we found the stash of receipts. Our best christmas times wasn't the food, it wasn't the presents themselves, it wasn't family, it was the game.
If everyone is in on it and it’s a game then that can be fun!
my stepdad always used to hand over the present and encourage you to guess. he'd even write clues on the tags. I'm someone that always enjoys a surprise. so I hated that. so. in my more adult years, no matter the shape or texture, even when it was obviously socks, when he said guess (bear in mind my family has quite an earthy sense of humour) I'd squeeze it. look delighted, and say "it's gay p*rn!" he got the last laugh on that. one year it was clearly a DVD, and my guess was correct.
Sheena, that last sentence made my day!
it was the funniest christmas present ever. had to be virtually peeled off the floor, I was literally rolling on the floor laughing. best punchline ever. it was so unexpected.
Helena...you are so right. I loved your reply. We were like that too, and it was back when we risked getting a good beating. Otherwise someone like me would have ended up a hoodlum like so many kids do today.
While SIL was definitely in the wrong, I agree that 11 years old is old enough to know not to snoop or open packages. When I was a kid there was a sign on the spare bedroom in December that said, "Santa's Workshop: If this door is opened all the gifts will return to the North Pole." Not one of us ever dared open that door!
Rule at my house is "if you snoop, the present or presents you saw get returned" it's very effective.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
What's the point of that rule? If the kids know that's there is no Santa then why go out of your way to upset them for their curiosity?
It's really funny you think you could actually put a sign up that already tells the kid the presents are there, and then think you could outsmart an 11 year old. Lol, that's hilarious. It's always a mistake to underestimate how smart kids are. They are all professional crooks.
So what your saying is kods cant open the door to Santa's workshop, but adults that know better and should have a fully developed cognitive skills associated with an adult are allowed to snoop and break Santa's toys on top. Oooookay.
I agree. I'm twisting into a pretzel trying to imagine possible extenuating circumstances to push this from ESH to NTA. Like what if the box wasn't a plain brown box but had a picture of what was inside? Or what if they have more kids than the 11-year-old, or the 11-year-old is a "high spirited" child ("difficult") and the parents have made a judicious choice not to die on the hill of teaching the child not to open the mail? But then why didn't they find another solution like buying a porch-pirate-defeating package box or something?
Yes. Christmas aside, I knew full well by that age that I should not open anything that was not addressed to me. I do wonder if they started doing this 6 years ago, when the child was 5, and have just continued it more for the convenience of having someone accept their deliveries than because their kid will snoop. After all, the only way to know if he'd snoop now is to stop having things delivered to his aunt's house.
I don't understand kids or people that want to ruin surprises. I was never that way - as a kid I was terrified of seeing my gifts by accident somehow. Never went in my mom and dad's closet or anything.
I was the same.
I was a snooper as a kid. It's not that I wanted to ruin Christmas, I was just a very curious kid and it was more like a game for me. Often when I found where they were stashed, I'd leave it at that and not investigate further. I think we're being too harsh on the kids for snooping.
I think the whole thing is beyond ridiculous, is the kid knows there is no Sants, what is it too you if they snoop around and see their presents before is due, worst for them that they will have to wait until Xmas, but is a harmless behavior unless you're a control freak
The idea isn’t to ruin surprises, it’s just the curiosity can eat away at a child, so they snoop to satisfy their curiosity, giving themselves peace of mind. It’s not malicious at all
Curiosity killed the cat. You can hide the presents from the younger kids; the older ones need to practice self-discipline. If that's not possible, then go out and buy a freaking piece of lockable luggage to hide the presents in. It's really that simple. Another idea: get some "decoy" presents that are totally boring, like socks and a shirt, and wrap those up. Then, when the little snoops find those, they will be totally disappointed, which will serve them right. OP's kids sound very spoiled and undisciplined, IMO.
Everyone forgets the full saying. It's curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. The saying generally means the opposite of people who want to use it to justify something.
Or ignore a harmless behavior?
Man people are missing the point.the kids didnt do anything. SIL did DO something and she is a grown adult. You expect a kid to follow the rules, but not an adult. Come on now.
Some people hate surprises....I do. Just give me the gift. No wrapping or tag needed
For real! That always drove me crazy in movies and tv shows. You’re ruining the fun for yourself.
For some of us, surprises are no fun :(
Same. Good things come to those who wait, after all.
right. I used to spend ages looking at my presents under the tree. never squeezing or feeling them. just looking at the piles of presents (not all for me, obviously) and feeling excited about Christmas. it was never about trying to guess what they were, it's that it was just so exciting that they were there. yes, i would wonder what they were, but it wasn't trying to guess. it was just anticipation and excitement. I had friends that were dreadful for searching the whole house, and I never understood why they'd want to ruin the surprise or the anticipation.
I was that kid. But then again, my mother and my sister were as well. Christmas was a game of keep away. The goal was to find out what they got you, without them knowing what you got them. We weren't surprise type people, but apparently, we were spy vs spy people. The game was the best part of christmas. Mom was a shake'n'sniffer, she could gues like 75% of the time just by doing that. Sister and I devised a new strategy every year. Bugged the house with microcassette recorders. Set up a series of well-placed mirrors around the house. Taped down the button on a walkie-talkie and lowered it down the heating vent. Figured out how to unwrap a present without damaging the paper, then rewrap. Games ended the year we found the stash of receipts. Our best christmas times wasn't the food, it wasn't the presents themselves, it wasn't family, it was the game.
If everyone is in on it and it’s a game then that can be fun!
my stepdad always used to hand over the present and encourage you to guess. he'd even write clues on the tags. I'm someone that always enjoys a surprise. so I hated that. so. in my more adult years, no matter the shape or texture, even when it was obviously socks, when he said guess (bear in mind my family has quite an earthy sense of humour) I'd squeeze it. look delighted, and say "it's gay p*rn!" he got the last laugh on that. one year it was clearly a DVD, and my guess was correct.
Sheena, that last sentence made my day!
it was the funniest christmas present ever. had to be virtually peeled off the floor, I was literally rolling on the floor laughing. best punchline ever. it was so unexpected.
Helena...you are so right. I loved your reply. We were like that too, and it was back when we risked getting a good beating. Otherwise someone like me would have ended up a hoodlum like so many kids do today.