Until kids reach a certain age, they don’t get to make very many decisions for themselves. Mom and Dad decide where the family lives, what an appropriate amount of screen time is, when it’s bedtime and what’s for dinner. But once kids reach an age where they realize that they’re not living the same life as all of their friends, they might start questioning if Mom and Dad really know what’s best.
Below, you’ll find a story that one father recently shared on Reddit, detailing how he found out his son was secretly snacking on non-vegan food when out with his friends. Now, the dad is wondering if he was right to give into his son’s cravings behind his wife’s back.
This man is used to eating vegan in the home, per his wife’s request
Image credits: s_kawee (not the actual photo)
But when he found out his son was sampling animal products outside of the house, he decided it could be their little secret
Image credits: diego_cervo (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Lucky_Grass7069
It’s becoming more common for families to raise their children vegan nowadays
According to the World Animal Foundation, 6% of the population in the United States is vegan, increasing by more than 3,000% over the last 15 years. Some of the most common reasons for going vegan are concerns for animal welfare, to adopt a healthier diet, to fight climate change and be gentler on the environment, and to live a more sustainable lifestyle.
But the thing about going vegan is that it’s a personal choice. I’ve been vegan for over 6 years now, and I would have never taken the leap if someone else pressured me to or tried to guilt-trip me into it. I had to come to that conclusion by myself, and I had to believe in the ethics of it if I ever wanted it to stick. I don’t miss animal products because it’s my choice to eat alternatives instead, and I stand by that choice. But as we all know, being told something is off-limits by Mom or Dad just makes it all the more enticing…
The idea of raising a vegan family is often met with criticism, as people seem to be concerned about the health of the children. But the reality is that the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics in the US says a well-planned vegan diet is appropriate for all stages of life, including pregnancy, infancy and childhood. All vegans need to take supplements of Vitamin B12, but most of us should probably be taking some supplements anyway. And eating a balanced vegan diet is often much healthier than having McDonald’s several times a week.
Image credits: BULBFISH (not the actual photo)
A balanced vegan diet can be perfectly healthy during any stage of life, including childhood
LiveKindly reports that one in twelve families in the UK are raising their children vegan today, with health benefits being the leading reason behind the choice for 61% of families. So while it may not be the norm yet, it’s certainly becoming more common. But as adults, we have the choice to become vegan or vegetarian, as we’re in charge of buying groceries and preparing meals. Is it fair to be making this decision for our children, though?
Similarly to how many parents take their children to church with them on the weekends and require their little ones to say prayers before meals, Moms and Dads who are vegan likely hope to instill their beliefs in their children as well. But once they grow up, they might decide that religion is not for them. And they might decide that eating a plant-based diet isn’t their cup of tea either. As painful as it may be for a parent, they have to understand that their kids will one day be making their own choices.
As vegan mom Jenell B. Stewart explains on her blog, she wasn’t vegan her entire life either. She found the lifestyle within the last 10 years and realized it aligned with her values. So she doesn’t necessarily think it’s fair to force her children to permanently live a lifestyle that they didn’t choose.
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio (not the actual photo)
But going vegan is a personal choice, and kids might not always agree with their parents’ values as they grow up
But Stewart also notes that she wants her children to feel empowered to make suggestions that will open up her kids’ friends’ minds when it comes to veganism too. “What I want to teach my children is, if your friends are suggesting you go to a fried chicken spot, suggest a Chinese restaurant because your friends can get their fried chicken with fries, while my kids can get vegetable lo mein or general tso tofu, and everyone’s happy and my children don’t have to feel uncomfortable like they would sitting in a Kentucky Fried Chicken,” she writes.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Do you think this father was right to give his son animal products? Or should he have been up front and honest with his wife about it from the get-go? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article, we recommend checking out this one discussing even more drama surrounding veganism!
Some readers assured the father that he did nothing wrong
While others thought that both parents could have handled the situation more maturely
And some told the dad that he was in the wrong
The responses throwing hate at vegans is so unnecessary. Let people eat their tofu in peace. The problem is not veganism, it's the wife's controlling behavior. I don't think shreshould be forced to cook meat at home, but the kid should be able to eat what he wants when he's out and buy his own nonvegan snacks with his allowance.
There are so many examples of people compromising. A colleague of mine is vegan and flexible enough to compromise with her kids. A Sikh mother (vegetarian) told me that her kids eat burgers. My nephew's vegan girlfriend never lectured us. My sister provided vegan options so that they could enjoy meals with the rest of us.
Load More Replies...
This is not about veganisme. This is a 12 yo who is in the middle of puberty and doesn't want to be excluded from his friends. At that age friends trump food. Especially when it's not your own choice. He wants to make mom happy. Mom should get of her high horse and do what's best for the kid.
The kid also said they tasted better. It wasn't just exclusion, it was a decision. If he didn't like it and was still doing it, maybe... but saying it was peer pressure removes his ability to make a choice as well.
Load More Replies...
I grew up with a vegeterian mother who still cooked meat for us, and I'm very grateful for it. She herself had a really low protein diet (e.g. she would make some spaghetti bolognese and herself just have pasta with tomato sauce and a little cheese on top) or sometimes have no protein at all. So when one of my brothers and my dad decided to try vegetarism as well, she decided to make all the family try it. Without adding more protein. So I, as the underweight teenager with very strong periods, really quickly got iron and vitamin b12 deficiency and I craved meat all the time, which caused her to start cooking it again. She also changed her eating habits and eats a much more balanced diet with enough protein now (which also keeps getting easier with the growing choice of veggi-products, so she can replace instead of omit). I'm a flexetarian now.
And I'm very well aware that meat is not the only source for iron and vitamin b12, but she didn't really use a lot of dairy/eggs or nuts or any of the other good stuff. Nearly a vegan diet basically. Going vegan requires some dietary knowledge, if you want to make sure to still get all the vitamins und minerals you need
Load More Replies...
Collectively the comments in the article are solid. Mom is the AH for forcing it. Dad is the the AH for hiding from his wife ( married people need to be able to have a mature conversation about hard topics). The kid is old enough now to decide if he wants to be vegan/vegetarian or not. Both parents need to be on board with that.
Kids should never be forced into certain diets unless it's for health reasons, Allergies, gain/lose weight etc
It's not about diet. Diet is just the most obvious result of it. It's about ethics. Just as religion, which is largely uncritisized regardless of often reactionary values - think mandatory hijab -, regardless of all the unfounded claims, regardless of all the damage it does. At least, veganism is founded in reality, the issues it does adress are neither negligible nor pointless, the suffering it aims to avoid to cause is real, proven, and not limited to nonhuman animals - think waste of perfectly edible food, think deforestation. It's just not right to consider it a mere dietary choice. It's no more about food than Islam is about pork. Plays a role, but the principle itself is neither centered on nor limited to food. Food is just the result of it that is most visible in daily life. Why is this result of some wellfounded principles and proven fact an exception in the parents' right to bring up their children respecting the same core values like themselves? Have you ever heard someone take objection that parents teach their children to not be racists, regardless of them, maybe, having the desire - or rather bad influence and lack of maturity - to engage in that principle? Is the impact on eating the only issue setting this apart? I genuinely don't understand the difference, and have a feeling that there might be a lack of sufficient reasons to treat this set of principles differently than other ones.
Load More Replies...
No one should be forced to be vegan or vegetarian or whatever against their will. I think it's great if people make that choice for themselves but forcing others who clearly don't want that lifestyle is just a horrible thing. The kid is only twelve but still feel he's kind of an a*****e throwing his father under the bus when he started eating non vegan things.
Not a great lie to tell the mother, but the father understands that he panicked. Given that the son is 12, it's more up to the father to defend his son than his son to defend his father. A 12-year-old has far fewer options than a grown man.
Load More Replies...
She sounds like a controlling psycho. You know you have failed as a parent when any confrontation causes your kid to panic and throw their father under the bus.
How about let the kid make some decisions for himself. The mom is being ridiculous.
I'd watch the mentioned documentary with him and then discussed why is our family vegan. Then let him decide. As he's old enough he should see and understand both his mom's view and his friends'.
A child doesn't need to be vegan or vegetarian and really shouldn't be. This is very unhealthy and dangerous diet for kids.
No, it's not. A balanced vegan or vegetarian diet provides more than adequate nutrition. The key word is "balanced". Sources: pediatricians and dieticians.
Load More Replies...
My 9 year old decided she wanted to be vegetarian, we told her that was fine and we would support her. IF she followed 2 rules-- 1. She stays healthy. She's a growing girl, so we are very focused on making sure she gets everything she needs nutritionally--not just Mac and cheese for every meal. And 2. She can't be a b******e about it. There are 6 others in the house that eat meat, and there will be many more out in the world. She doesn't have to eat it, but don't lecture or try to force other people.
To me veganism is like smokers(I am). Imagine I went around grabbing mfkrs by the hair and goin full on mouth to mouth with my menthol goodness? I'd get stabbed. And I'd deserve it. Especially omg especially to a kid. ALWAYS let kids decide how to STAY alive but never how to LIVE.
Hm, I expected a different spin on the story. I expected the parents to be divorced, with mom having primary custody. So the kid would get the non vegan snacks while visiting his dad xD But whatever, Dad is NTA. The mother is, though, Big time.
The responses throwing hate at vegans is so unnecessary. Let people eat their tofu in peace. The problem is not veganism, it's the wife's controlling behavior. I don't think shreshould be forced to cook meat at home, but the kid should be able to eat what he wants when he's out and buy his own nonvegan snacks with his allowance.
There are so many examples of people compromising. A colleague of mine is vegan and flexible enough to compromise with her kids. A Sikh mother (vegetarian) told me that her kids eat burgers. My nephew's vegan girlfriend never lectured us. My sister provided vegan options so that they could enjoy meals with the rest of us.
Load More Replies... This is not about veganisme. This is a 12 yo who is in the middle of puberty and doesn't want to be excluded from his friends. At that age friends trump food. Especially when it's not your own choice. He wants to make mom happy. Mom should get of her high horse and do what's best for the kid.
The kid also said they tasted better. It wasn't just exclusion, it was a decision. If he didn't like it and was still doing it, maybe... but saying it was peer pressure removes his ability to make a choice as well.
Load More Replies... I grew up with a vegeterian mother who still cooked meat for us, and I'm very grateful for it. She herself had a really low protein diet (e.g. she would make some spaghetti bolognese and herself just have pasta with tomato sauce and a little cheese on top) or sometimes have no protein at all. So when one of my brothers and my dad decided to try vegetarism as well, she decided to make all the family try it. Without adding more protein. So I, as the underweight teenager with very strong periods, really quickly got iron and vitamin b12 deficiency and I craved meat all the time, which caused her to start cooking it again. She also changed her eating habits and eats a much more balanced diet with enough protein now (which also keeps getting easier with the growing choice of veggi-products, so she can replace instead of omit). I'm a flexetarian now.
And I'm very well aware that meat is not the only source for iron and vitamin b12, but she didn't really use a lot of dairy/eggs or nuts or any of the other good stuff. Nearly a vegan diet basically. Going vegan requires some dietary knowledge, if you want to make sure to still get all the vitamins und minerals you need
Load More Replies... Collectively the comments in the article are solid. Mom is the AH for forcing it. Dad is the the AH for hiding from his wife ( married people need to be able to have a mature conversation about hard topics). The kid is old enough now to decide if he wants to be vegan/vegetarian or not. Both parents need to be on board with that.
Kids should never be forced into certain diets unless it's for health reasons, Allergies, gain/lose weight etc
It's not about diet. Diet is just the most obvious result of it. It's about ethics. Just as religion, which is largely uncritisized regardless of often reactionary values - think mandatory hijab -, regardless of all the unfounded claims, regardless of all the damage it does. At least, veganism is founded in reality, the issues it does adress are neither negligible nor pointless, the suffering it aims to avoid to cause is real, proven, and not limited to nonhuman animals - think waste of perfectly edible food, think deforestation. It's just not right to consider it a mere dietary choice. It's no more about food than Islam is about pork. Plays a role, but the principle itself is neither centered on nor limited to food. Food is just the result of it that is most visible in daily life. Why is this result of some wellfounded principles and proven fact an exception in the parents' right to bring up their children respecting the same core values like themselves? Have you ever heard someone take objection that parents teach their children to not be racists, regardless of them, maybe, having the desire - or rather bad influence and lack of maturity - to engage in that principle? Is the impact on eating the only issue setting this apart? I genuinely don't understand the difference, and have a feeling that there might be a lack of sufficient reasons to treat this set of principles differently than other ones.
Load More Replies... No one should be forced to be vegan or vegetarian or whatever against their will. I think it's great if people make that choice for themselves but forcing others who clearly don't want that lifestyle is just a horrible thing. The kid is only twelve but still feel he's kind of an a*****e throwing his father under the bus when he started eating non vegan things.
Not a great lie to tell the mother, but the father understands that he panicked. Given that the son is 12, it's more up to the father to defend his son than his son to defend his father. A 12-year-old has far fewer options than a grown man.
Load More Replies... She sounds like a controlling psycho. You know you have failed as a parent when any confrontation causes your kid to panic and throw their father under the bus.
How about let the kid make some decisions for himself. The mom is being ridiculous.
I'd watch the mentioned documentary with him and then discussed why is our family vegan. Then let him decide. As he's old enough he should see and understand both his mom's view and his friends'.
A child doesn't need to be vegan or vegetarian and really shouldn't be. This is very unhealthy and dangerous diet for kids.
No, it's not. A balanced vegan or vegetarian diet provides more than adequate nutrition. The key word is "balanced". Sources: pediatricians and dieticians.
Load More Replies... My 9 year old decided she wanted to be vegetarian, we told her that was fine and we would support her. IF she followed 2 rules-- 1. She stays healthy. She's a growing girl, so we are very focused on making sure she gets everything she needs nutritionally--not just Mac and cheese for every meal. And 2. She can't be a b******e about it. There are 6 others in the house that eat meat, and there will be many more out in the world. She doesn't have to eat it, but don't lecture or try to force other people.
To me veganism is like smokers(I am). Imagine I went around grabbing mfkrs by the hair and goin full on mouth to mouth with my menthol goodness? I'd get stabbed. And I'd deserve it. Especially omg especially to a kid. ALWAYS let kids decide how to STAY alive but never how to LIVE.
Hm, I expected a different spin on the story. I expected the parents to be divorced, with mom having primary custody. So the kid would get the non vegan snacks while visiting his dad xD But whatever, Dad is NTA. The mother is, though, Big time.
37
29