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On Monday, Pfizer announced that early analysis of the coronavirus vaccine it has been developing with BioNTech suggested the vaccine was a success. A promising development considering the pandemic has already killed roughly 1.3 million people.

Pfizer provided only sparse details from its clinical trial but said the vaccine was more than 90 percent effective in preventing the disease among volunteers who had no evidence of prior coronavirus infection. If the results hold up, that level of protection would put it on par with highly effective childhood vaccines for diseases such as measles. No serious safety concerns have been observed, the company said.

The good news prompted an avalanche of memes, celebrating the vaccine. Without wasting a second, Bored Panda selected some of the best ones to commemorate the occasion, so continue scrolling and enjoy.

#1

Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

Report

로희
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a civil servant and the current administration of my country about a couple of months ago already declared the first batch of Covid-19 vaccine will be given to government officials and employees first. Not sure if that's a good news for us civil servants or not. 😅

GirlFriday
Community Member
Premium
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trump goes first

Bob Belcher
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Trumps already gone. I say we start with Mitch Mconnel, Ted Cruz and Lindsey Graham

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cybermerlin2000
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, but if its safe then that would be wasted doses on none essential workers. You vote in a politician but you don't vote in a nurse

Night Owl
Community Member
5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's why Germany plans first to offer it to at risk members of society, then essential workers, and then the rest of the society

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Purr·maid
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Love it! And The Office.

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Iris Gorfinkel, M.D., who is a general practitioner, medical researcher, and founder of PrimeHealth Clinical Research, said she is excited about the numbers. But she is also cautious. "We want to see the actual numbers, we want to see the real data on this. Right now, they have not reached the statistical significance needed for that vaccine," Gorfinkel told Bored Panda. "Also, they have not shared and been completely transparent so far with what the numbers are on side effects."

Another thing the doctor pointed out is that we still do not know how long the vaccine lasts. "That's a major issue with not just this product, but with all products, especially if it's being pushed through fast." Furthermore, what about the storage facility that the vaccine requires? Gorfinkel said almost no clinics have that. "We don't have the storage facilities to keep this vaccine at minus 70 degrees. It may work in a research setting. But I'm a vaccine researcher, and I don't even have that $15,000 refrigeration system."

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    #2

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    krupali Report

    Mark Howell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If it's like another Pfizer product, it will keep your p****r up ;o)))

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    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God damn it! I've come down with a severe case of decking and privets!

    Id row
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And make sure it's not a knock-off. I fell for these batteries one time. dinacell-5...c20ad1.jpg dinacell-5fb0571c20ad1.jpg

    BoredDragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    Croline Lason
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, but what if Pfizer Landscaping are "friendlier" ;) ?

    I Liquored On
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    ThEy WeRe TroLliNg BrO!

    Mohamed Abdi
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Do you wut to be fres

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    Gorfinkel stressed that we need systems that are telling us at all times who has received what vaccination, when and where it was given, and with what product. "Right now we lack centralized tracking systems. And this leads to vaccine wastage and an inability to divert vaccine supplies to where they're most needed," she explained. 

    A simple solution to this problem is barcoding. "Walmart's a great example. It has literally millions of products and over 400 stores in Canada. So there's no reason why this same technology is not applied to vaccines. Every Canadian should have a unique barcode that could be scanned right along with a barcode which is already existing on every vial of vaccine that we give."

    #3

    Thanks, Pfizer

    reddit.com Report

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nooooooooooooo I love working from home!!!

    kjorn
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    don,t get it... i hated work from home... kids screaming and teasing each other, hot as hell in the room, always the feeling to being at work, sit on a wooden chair and without any ergonomy... i'm better at work, alone, cold air, nice chaire, 2 big wide computer screen...

    Id row
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Once you get used to working from home it's extremely hard to go back to an office environment where you have to dress, wear a bra and shoes all day and can't take breaks to play with your pets.

    Radek Suski
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On a related not Pfizer haven't actually developed this vaccine

    I love izuku midoriya
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love being home I get more time with my family and I get to do just dance I can't do that at school

    Dabman2392
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lllooolll how dare u take my freedom

    okpkpkp
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Japanese seem to have such nice kitties.

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    "Instantly, those two little blips would automatically populate the patient's own electronic health record, local public health unit records, and also a provincial or territorial vaccine registry ... That the last record, the vaccine registry, would allow patients a private portal to see what vaccine was provided and when, and could also serve as a platform in which patients could be emailed about specific issues with a vaccine. That includes recalls, newly discovered side effects, the potential reminders for boosters, and how long-lasting the vaccine is discovered to be."

    #4

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    SortaBad Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Before putting on his SmartWatch and driving away with his telemetry-enabled.car.

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love when people with cellphones do this. If you're on the internet, you done been hacked and tracked... Me included, freely admitted. *waves at some random observer*

    Viviane
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm flattered that someone or some cabal wants to microchip me. I must be important! ... Oh wait, a vast number of people are to be microchipped? What, are scientists studying the migratory patterns of humans? Crap, I've been demoted to one of the herd :(

    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I LOVE how people think the government has the time and money to actively monitor everyone 1984-style. They can't even fix crumbling bridges!

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    Becca Gizmo the Squirrel
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some christians think it is the mark of the beast. Not me, as I am agnostic, but I find the paranoia interesting.

    Aragorn II Elessar
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well then, the non-vaccinated “Christians” can meet God real soon and ask Him all about it.

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    Janine B.
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't confuse people with facts.

    Catherine Spencer-Mills
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dogs are microchipped. That is not how they work. You have to have a special reader and the device has to be inches from the chip to read it.

    Id row
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    tbf, I don't think they're even working on a stupidity vaccine.

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    Clinicians could also gain access to the vaccine registry to see who has had what product and when, Gorginkel said, and ministries of health could be empowered to divert potentially limited supplies of vaccines to outbreaks.

    "It's not just one vaccine. Ultimately, we're talking about probably a whole group of vaccines, each with its own unique safety and efficacy profile, each with its own unique vaccine schedule of how it needs to be given how frequently it's going to get really complicated," the doctor added. "These complex issues will arise and we need to have that information at our fingertips."

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    #5

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    __SAMI_RASSAM__ Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, Trump is president-de-elect but technically not out. Alas.

    Cori
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'President-de-elect' I like that!

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    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Trump isn't out yet. He still has powers and at this time he's using them to fire anyone who dares to tell him that he lost the elections and to cause as much havoc as he can before he's escorted out of the White House. The GOP should take their responsibility and impeach him for reasons of insanity. But we all know that Greedy Old Perverts have each others backs, don't we?

    Blackheart
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    shhhhhh! 2020 can hear us. you'll jinx us. somebody knock wood.

    K.
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is how I walk outside now. Going to the grocery store with all the courage of middle earth’s men of the west.

    Aragorn II Elessar
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, Men of the West!

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    Todorokie-dokie
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    November is the older sibling coming to clean up the younger ones’ mess.

    Sick Fixx
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh God, that is the cringiest, unfunniest hot garbage since Biden's last word salad.

    Robert Thompson
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Things are getting worse now that The Associated Press has declared Biden the President-Elect. Am I the only one that has a problem with this? Record breaking number of new cases here in the USA almost every day now.

    Soap
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    November... then there's December in the way back.

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    #6

    Hehe Because Vaccine Do Autism

    Phil_Wil_Tape_U Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anti-vaxxers: all the chemicals like H20 and NaCl Will do that!

    Something
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You mean you take vaccines with dihydrogen monoxide in them?

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    Amelia Earhart
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't think the anti-vaccers are ready to laugh at themselves yet, so I'll do it for them!!!

    Marek Yanchurak
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, this was the best laugh I've had all day. Bravo!

    Mark Howell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a UK autist who had his vax's in the '60s. Maybe they should loo back at that time for their needs. ;o)

    Grumble O'Pug
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Idiots getting worked yo over IUPAC names they don’t understand

    Patricia Brown
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Y'all do realize some folks do not comprehend sarcasm, right? LOL

    Aidan Garza
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do they want it to cause autism?!

    Tobias the Tiger
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's satire, referring to the myth of vaccines causing autism. Which is total bullshit, as you can't "get" autism after you're born.

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    #7

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    watsoncomedian Report

    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah yes, being from the UK I can say I miss the old Reliant fields with the Scimitars standing proud and the Robins swaying in the breeze as the kittens gently rev in the trees

    Human #1,232,867
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just need to say something like : Only people vaccinated can take a plane.. And suddenly, they will get a shot.

    Soggy Crumpet
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, not getting a vaccine is silly but there is a difference between scientists and engineers...

    Hans
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Cars do not grow. You simply get them from retailers, stupid. And electricity comes from outlets! (Scnr)

    M Kate McCulloch
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my days, the intelligence of some people is ... absent.

    Meredith Redway
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Scientists don’t make cars. Engineers and the people you see every day do. Just because it’s a mom doesn’t mean she is sleep deprived and stupid. She had a point. You missed it because of your ease to judge.

    Kelly Hartle
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, that's one way to get an eco-friendly car...

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    #8

    Do Not Stop Germans From Drinking Their Alkohol

    VekerVenist Report

    Alex T
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    geez america, why can't you be more like your brother, germany

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Donald Trump jr saying: "We need a total war" comes a bit too close, though.

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    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, it was all about the Christmas markets!

    Xenia Granados
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dont mess with the Germans beer end of story

    TheDemonUnderYourBed
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am taking German as my language for my highschool credit and can I just say, Germany is so much more mature with their time. They even speak in the shortest way possible. This is a nice role model America. A very nice one indeed.

    Kari Panda
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    May I ask what you mean by ‘the shortest way possible’? :D

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    Cigdem Kanburoğlu
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ones who discovered the vaccine are refugees from Turkey!!! Good luck to ban refugees

    Sandra Gramsch
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not just Oktoberfest but also Carnival, which is even bigger here.

    COcO BAMa
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ''WE WILL MAKE A VACCINE OUT OF SPITE ..but also to show america they suck .(this is a joke)

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    #9

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    jamiebryandj Report

    Alex T
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    after all, science is all fake news, right?

    Steve
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you want everyone to take the vaccine, tell everyone it also works like super-viagra

    s. vitkovitsky
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rather a broad and unsubstantiated generalization, there, Sam. One can only wonder at the company you keep.

    Turd Ferguson
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought that comment was pretty odd as well. I was wondering if it was just over my head.

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    Jjjane20
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's make a vaccine people can sniff then.

    Kathleen Jenkin
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you're actually saying that people who do not want a vaccine, brought to the table in under a year, coke sniffing druggies. Am I correcct?

    backatya
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's amazing the amount of stupid people who do buy drugs illegally and trust what they buy to put in their bodies

    Downunderdude
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or will swallow a pill bought from a stranger at a music festival...

    Red
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Sniff sniff*

    Jonathan Swayze
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am more safe around others since l take Hydroxychloroquine as a preventive, than the Vaccinated who still get Covid.

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    #10

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    nathan_boachie Report

    Something
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's introverts who live alone. Introverts who live with others hate lockdown, not because they want to leave, but because they want everyone else to leave.

    Id row
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband was going out of town one time and asked if I was going to have a party while he was gone. I just said, "Why would I have a party? I hate people." He hasn't let me live that down, lol.

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    Luther von Wolfen
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Speaking for all introverts, we will continue to avoid you after the vaccine.

    I I
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    what we gunna doooooo ?? i cant go back to "socialising" I hated people before they could kill me with a cough

    Jjjane20
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it weird that me as an introvert kind of miss the human contact after all?

    COcO BAMa
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Literrally me ...except i'm a animal person i had tons of pets with one roommate a long time ago we split because she said i only say 2 words to her but can have a whole convo with my macaw.

    Julie C Rose
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spare a thought for the introverted New Zealanders, whose lockdown was only 7-9 weeks...or the introverted Taiwanese people, who had no lockdown...

    Sue Hazlewood
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They are welcome to stay home alone, especially the one pictured

    Navy Blue Bandana
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes but I'm stuck with my extroverted brother and horrible mental state

    Meredith Redway
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s insecure, idiots who live thinking they understand people. Idiots who think they are better, not because they are but because they are scared of anyone unlike them

    Meredith Redway
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And I hope that was clear that you are the one feeling inadequate so you make fun of other people

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    John Kamau
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THAT'S ME you are talking about.

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    #11

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    birbigs Report

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In a way we all contributed, especially the covidiots who made it imperative that scientists found the cure so they worked double time to save us from ourselves

    Sophia Graubart
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't tell them they are helping, it'll only make it worse

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    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except the vaccine wasn't developed by Pfizer. Everyone should really stop saying that. BioNTech did it.

    deanna woods
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They have to come out with a vaccine so soon because a bunch of morons refuse to wear a mask.

    PopscotchM
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    they helped by not getting in the way

    Tedus
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    since biontech - a partner of pfizer developed it - guess you are wrong.

    #12

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    yehme2 Report

    COcO BAMa
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also signing up for twitter you gave your email:9

    Robert Catte (It, It's)
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think you can log on to twitter using a laptop or ipad.

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    Steve
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't forget the microchip in every MAGA hat!

    BoredDragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, it turns you into a Trump-worshipping zombie. (Plz don’t downvote just cuz I don’t like Trump)

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    Rod Egret
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just like the very stable geniuses who do DNA tests to prove they are 100% white....

    Shelley DuVal
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well, thats going to backfire very fast when they get the results

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    #13

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    theDapperilla Report

    Saphira
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hey I love the lemon skittle

    Jane Doe
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me who didn't realize they changed lime to green apple, gets vaccine. Dies from polio.

    EA
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m replacing yellow with green for this one. Lemon is my favourite 💛

    Lady Snowfall
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! So sad they replaced lime with *blergh* green apple 😔

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    #14

    Stable Genius Make Covfefe Vaccine

    Veracior Report

    Mohammad Ammar
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reminds me of the time in grade 2 when I lost my drawing only to find this girl presenting it as hers in show and tell.

    Isaiah Edwards
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did you call her out? What was the aftermath?

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    kevin
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a cute little scientist :P

    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He claimed the "Warp Speed program" not the vax. Keep it straight. It was yuge.

    Marty Johncox
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do credit Trump with pulling out all the stops to facilitate vaccine development in less than a year. The irony is, most of his followers are lunatic conspiracy theorists and won't take it.

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    #15

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    piersmorgan Report

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How did he live to tell the story??

    Janine B.
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because all the sensible people protected him. You're welcome, covidiots.

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    Ty Stratton-Quirk
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "All on the word of a narcissistic sociopath with no political experience or scientific knowledge! Aren't I a wonderful person?"

    Marcellus the Third
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's Piers Morgan speaking, he wouldn't call himself a sociopath.

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    Banjo Peppers
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know you’re sh*t when Piers Morgan is more reasonable than you.

    Huey Simon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wasn't a sheep that believed the propaganda from government and media and spread that knowledge to others. That's what I did.

    Diane Patrick
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do all those things because I am not a mindless shallow thinker who accepts everything on msm.

    Malinda Petersen
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Since 97.5% of the people who get covid survive, he probably did survive to reporduce just fine. (yes I wear a mask, wash my hands and will get the vaccine)

    Sandra Gramsch
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, Piers Morgan talking sense for once.

    Viviane
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Just like when I was contrarian teenager, I told 'em 'Don't tell me what to do!'"

    Adam Torrens
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine telling you kids you fully brought in. Despite all the evidence you believed the "narrative" from a controled media. And during the globalist takeover you lambasted the people who saw through it. You wore mask that where already proven not to do anything to alter the spread of respritory viruses just because the head of the chinese CDC said so so they had to 180 known science on a dime and you still believed it. You supported the level of tyranny necassery to do this over yourselfs and and others over the worlds most over hyped head cold. Government corruption and collusion on a frightening level was exposed but you turned a blind eye to it because reality upset you. You tore down the only ones trying to help humanity. Yep. Imagine telling your kid that when the globalist takeover started you fought against the ones who tried to stop it. Imagine telling your kids that youbare they reason they are now a digital slave in a digital prison world.

    View more comments
    #16

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    chrissyteigen Report

    M@rlow_the BLINK
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I do Is glare at people super hard and they back away and for the rest of the day I'm gloowwwinnng

    DaVo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    https://www.tmz.com/2021/03/28/courtney-stodden-chrissy-teigen-bullying-twitter-negative-2011-old-tweets/

    AnimalMetalHeadUK
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a stupid idea, it's going to take a few years before everyone is vaccinated, we don't need people doing things like this, actually a multi-millionaire celebrity can but not us normal folks. This woman is a bore.

    Hans
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A slap in the face for these people sounds like a better idea.

    Michael Konopka
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is what your saying in code , for I'm rich and a rude b---h and stupid ,but you did eek out something right , covid shots are like the morning after pill, they kill babies after it deforms them...do some research parrot and maybe you'll eek out some common sense ya never know???

    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But new studies show we only lost 20,000 to Covid. Not the 100k they're pushing now. They counted almost all deaths as Covid related to crank up the paranoia. Chrissy, hook line sinker and kool aid.

    View more comments
    #17

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    ODDSbible Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let's hope some of the changed work culture can be kept for good!

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    More and more companies are discovering the advantages from working from home. It's a common belief that even after Covid more people wil be working from home for at least 50% of the time.

    Load More Replies...
    okpkpkp
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What? Does Zoom charge by the hour?

    Lunar Owo Potato
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like the teachers might be happier or sadder.

    Mark Howell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is 'Zoom' a chinese company ???

    #18

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    JimMFelton Report

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ditto what @Soap said> THIS IS NOT A CURE IT IS A POSSIBLE PREVENTIVE/PALLIATIVE. THat IS IT. And that's if it works as promised (as a miracle)...

    Victoria Lenny
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ................this is a joke. no sane person is honestly saying they would do this. chill

    Load More Replies...
    Hans
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Alas, wait for the second shot. ;)

    Logan Cheng
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom said it's my turn to do whatever the heck i want

    Mshauri Mazuri
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They can cure the virus but they cannot cure the idiocracy of licking stainless steel bar handles.

    Tanya Davies
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Vaccines don't grant instantaneous immunity, it takes a few weeks after inoculation for you to create an adequate immune response

    Opal Black
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you did that to begin with you probably would have a stronger immune system. You should give it a try.

    Syl Allard
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think maybe you should wait two weeks after your second jab

    backatya
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't let my child do that even before we knew about Covid. Stupidity

    Onion rings like to make your breath smelly
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i mean... we are so used to masks and disinfectant.. it would be super weird to go back to the normal days

    Kate Yeti
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looking forward to licking all the things! 🤣

    View more comments
    #19

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    HarryPhillips15 Report

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think that their next project should be a cure for stupidity, preferably in the form of tea

    Something
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is already a preemptive anti-vaxx movement specific to this vaccine, and they made claims about it before it was even developed.

    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The viral load in the nasal pharynx of the vaccinated is just as high as the unvaccinated. Fauci. That means the vaccinated can still spread the virus while not ever showing symptoms. Unvaccinated would probably show signs and get some HCQ, and quarantine.

    Id row
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Waiting for Jenny McCarthy to chime in with her idiot self.

    Blackheart
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and lo, natural selection fell down upon the stupid

    Nicole Blake-Walen
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only vaccine like that is for flu depending on the type you come down with. However, it is still worth lessening the sickness so that you survive. Up to you if you choose not to be protected but than your decision becomes natural selection.

    Losferatu
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Build a wall around the anti-vaxxers and let them go extinct from the gene pool.

    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    There won't be any anti-vaxxers if we are lucky. All the people will take the shots and be free from COVID-19 while the anti-vaxxers will catch COVID-19 and eventually get wiped out Darwin Awards: Global Edition

    BoredDragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is Earth, where human beings live. There are gonna be stupid people who won’t take the vaccine.

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #20

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    nedostup Report

    Logan Cheng
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As soon as I saw this, my mind flashes back to 6th grade, when everyone was like "what's hard and starts with a D? Dinosaurs!!!" (sigh)

    Alex Hamilton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A chemist friend of mine has created a tablet which has the properties of Viagra and Prozac in the same pill. Apparently if one does not get a f**k one does not give a f**k. :-)

    TheDemonUnderYourBed
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *blushes hard enough you can see the red in her cheeks even with her dark skin that shows no emotion whatsoever* Oh Staaaaaaaaaaaaaahp!

    COcO BAMa
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I loved working from home now i will be able to go to work damn this will be "hard''

    #22

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Of course they deny. Just like everyone is denying that I won the elections. But I won the elections, by a lot. A tremendous bigly lot and there's voter fraud all over the place, I know that because no one knows more about fraud than I do. "

    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You forgot to mention how "beautiful" it was...

    Load More Replies...
    Alex T
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ugh, really Pence? go make ur own vaccine goddamn it

    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But the vax WAS available while he was in office. Did you swallow the lie about collusion too? He's been out of office for over a year and lacks the power to stop the DOJ like Brandon does for Hunter but there's no convictions after all the "investigations" that withheld evidence from Durham.

    M Kate McCulloch
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    SOOO GLAD HE'LL BE GOING TO ARGENTINA!

    Robert Thompson
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Unless PFIZER has a branch in China that did the vaccine, Trump was involved.

    Paula Swanson
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Fools. Trump has repeatedly stated that the scientists and pharma companies are doing all the work..stop listening to MSM and listen to HIS speeches yourself.

    View more comments
    #23

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    TheOnion Report

    Paul K. Johnson
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm going to order the Deluxe version that comes with the maps, lunchbox, bobbleheads and free DLC's for a year.

    Bender Bending Rodríguez
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh god no DLC. I hope we don't need to get DLC for this vaccine. I truly hope this is full content.

    Load More Replies...
    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonder how much you could get for the empty needle used on the video, get your jab promo. Black woman claps like she got something, and it was easy. How could one prove it was THE syringe? And where would one sell it? Asking for a friend.

    Kelly Hartle
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And they're joining with the Franklin Mint to distribute them.

    COcO BAMa
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Betta frame it when you get it cause in 200 years it will cost lots of money

    #24

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    Report

    Henny Hana
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah animorphs the golden days of youth

    Arctic Fox Lover
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it sad that I read some of the series thinking it came out just a few years ago? <:

    Load More Replies...
    Tanya Kysel'ova
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that's all ur poor little brain can yield after u take the american version. and before, actually

    D. Pitbull
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But wait... hm.... become fearsome, tall, magestic.... never need clothes... get to sleep for several months straight... being a bear.. .maaaybe not so bad?

    Analyn Lahr
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What happens to her clothes when she shifts? Are they there when she shifts back?

    Hilary Mol
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why does the all-human photo look like a straight-haired Shakira?

    Bob Ross
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Better than dying of COVID-19 I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    View more comments
    #25

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    GabbbarSingh Report

    Sophia Graubart
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *world continues to have deadly pandemic*

    COcO BAMa
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well ''Alexia say which company will make a vaccine'' She'll say it and i'll send it to them by voicemail...I'm so smart :)

    S.
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Love Alexa so much! And yes, you are.

    Load More Replies...
    Robert Bailey
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess Michelle Pfeiffer will get the first dose.

    Candace Zaiden
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I knew I learned German for a reason...

    I I
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    clue ..... none of it is silent ..... didn't say it would make it easier

    Tiari
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The German or the American pronunciation? It is an American company. Founded by a guy born in Germany with an German last name.

    View more comments
    #26

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    edhelms Report

    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ..."However, the $1.95 billion allocated to Pfizer was for large-scale manufacturing and nationwide distribution. In short, the government intended to buy the vaccinations from Pfizer once the vaccine was made available, but did not fund research and development."

    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Trials lost like 1200 subjects in 90 days. That's why they tried to bury the "proprietary" info for 95 years. FOIA got it released. Tens of thousands have lasting injuries.

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pence *meant* "Thanks to Pfizer for my profits!"

    Paula Swanson
    Community Member
    5 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    With out Trump allocating the funds.......hmmmm

    Lis Daglish
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Paula. Seriously. Pfizer themselves, in the politest possible terms, told trump to f**k off with his lies.

    Load More Replies...
    #27

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    DanaSchwartzzz Report

    Logan Cheng
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can't wait for the vaccine so I can finally go to somewhere cold and lick a frozen pole

    Blackheart
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    there are other contagions besides covid, so no.

    Trin
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You’re more likely to hit the floor… 😂 sheeples… when will you learn 🙄

    backatya
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope it isn't an adult movie theater... EEEEEWWWW gooey

    View more comments
    #28

    Don't Take The Covid Vaccine Brian!

    MattyRFC72 Report

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't have a Brian, I have a Ryan though...

    Louloubelle
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't have a Brian either, but I have a Connor.

    Load More Replies...
    Steve
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Vewy Well! I will welease Bwian!

    CultOfBambi
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not something dear Matty has to worry about... I doubt he has a Brian, or indeed a brain, to be controlled.

    Viviane
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I broke up with Brian decades ago (on good terms). I think his wife will be unhappy that she has to hand over control to the vaccine.

    Paul K. Johnson
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a dude who has never noticed how out-of-control the typical Brian is.

    Karin Gibson
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t have any Brian’s I have a Michael and a Tim but no Brian’s.

    View more comments
    #29

    Just A Vaccine

    Alixxxtentacion Report

    CultOfBambi
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We're laughing now - but this is exactly what will be called for when the Russian vaccine causes the zombie apocalypse.. ;)

    S.
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A zombie apocalypse? Damn, December.

    Load More Replies...
    phantom buni
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m sorry but all of the officials look like green marshmallows mildly concerned for Kim.

    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Simple point and click interface exalted leader. Place under chin and click this button here

    Someone
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Technically both a vaccine and a cure. Works to either prevent or end covid-19.

    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not funny. The first N. Korean to get the vid was executed.

    backatya
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He should use it on himself

    Amelia Earhart
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The one in the blue jacket looks more than a little concerned about the barrel of the weapon...

    COcO BAMa
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kill anyone with the virus then it won't spread

    Dillon Campbell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YOU ARE HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Load More Replies...
    Hans
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Refer to Billy Wayne Davis.

    View more comments
    #30

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    laurenthehough Report

    Hilary Mol
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But your lawn's going to look GREAT next year.

    Red
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So did i...

    #31

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    theeclarkjones Report

    COcO BAMa
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They must be very active with the ladys i think you would get more than just the vaccine

    Bob Belcher
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It didn't go up that much. Although, I have a feeling once it's approved and distribution begins it will go up more. Also, check out MJ EFT funds.

    Brandy Grote
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pfizer and Zoom. Covering all my bases.

    See Also on Bored Panda
    #32

    Boycott Pfizer

    reddit.com Report

    Diddlybop
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Marge is God watching all this s**t sadly because hers/his creation, 'intelligent life' are arseholes. Including me.

    comics
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    crib-me attending zoom class dad-principal urging my mom for me to com back to school kid-my mom

    M@rlow_the BLINK
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Noooooooooooooooooo DON'T MAKE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    Dabman2392
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Marge is God watching all this s**t sadly because hers/his creation, 'intelligent life' are arseholes. Including me. Marge is God watching all this s**t sadly because hers/his creation, 'intelligent life' are arseholes. Including me. Marge is God watching all this s**t sadly because hers/his creation, 'intelligent life' are arseholes. Including me. Marge is God watching all this s**t sadly because hers/his creation, 'intelligent life' are arseholes. Including me. Marge is God watching all this s**t sadly because hers/his creation, 'intelligent life' are arseholes. Including me. Marge is God watching all this s**t sadly because hers/his creation, 'intelligent life' are arseholes. Including me. Marge is God watching all this s**t sadly because hers/his creation, 'intelligent life' are arseholes. Including me. Marge is God watching all this s**t sadly because hers/his creation, 'intelligent life' are arseholes. Including me. Marge is God watching all this s**t sadly because hers/h

    #33

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    badmike95 Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, after drinking two bottles you will not contract an coronavirus (well, nothing else, either).

    Janine B.
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually you need to drink two and a half bottle to be a 100% sure. :o)

    Load More Replies...
    Dee Tag
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sign me up, please. I'll take two.

    MantisKeeper
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    but this one is only 40% effective

    M. Evripidou
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bah it needs to be at leastv60%

    Arctic Fox Lover
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Russia is a "he"? So that must mean you're talking about Russia from Hetalia.

    Soap
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My first response was "Is it vodka?"

    View more comments
    #34

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    danadonly Report

    Viviane
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone who gets it - thank you!

    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're welcome to watch them administer the vaccine... You don't have to be anesthetized for it... It's a liquid.

    Kelly Hartle
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes--they've learned to feed microchips through a needle now. Isn't technology great?

    backatya
    Community Member
    5 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even if they can make a chip that small how would they keep it running without a battery and recharging it. You see how long your phone battery lasts

    #35

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Duke nukem forever anyone?

    Flisey
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's called Cyberpunk 2077 because it's not going to come out until 2077

    Jerry Mathers
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It’s a good thing you didn’t mention The Elder Scrolls follow up to Skeimy

    Logan Cheng
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    or Trump to have a decent idea? I think I know what I'm putting my money on

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    #36

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    Aaron_Magook Report

    Kelly Hartle
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's like the other drug companies aren't even trying.

    #37

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    RomanShortall Report

    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not a problem but I would prefer the person getting the vaccine to step over your body rather than awkwardly try to reach them

    Susan Westmoreland
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm willing to bet a large sum of money she's from Florida.

    Carrie Laughs
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I might be wrong but I think this is the late actor Sheila Reid who was Scottish.

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    Steve
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, Tonya Harding really went downhill

    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If any vax had 50 deaths it would not have been accepted. Trials lost 1200 + - in 90 days and tried to hide it. FOIA worked.

    Alex Hamilton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her face and dress need ironing, what a f*g!

    backatya
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    stupid people. Let them have their way. It's a good way to get rid of them

    Shelley DuVal
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well, she already looks like she has skin cancer and lung cancer, so really, no need for a vaccine for her. (also cleans out the gene pool)

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    #38

    Give 'Em Hell

    WhiteWaterr Report

    Hilary Mol
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Somebody tell me what the rapidly spinning thing is. It looks like Speak & Spell and Simon Says had a toy child.

    COcO BAMa
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I laughed so hard at this one I guess this is what "LMAO" means

    Isaac Kim
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YOU'VE PICKED THE WRONG BODY FOOL

    #39

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    roland_slice Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And now you get a new job: Planning vaccinations for over 300 million people while having to deal with anti-vaxxers, identity-chip conspiracy theorists and 5G radiation fools. Good luck.

    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When did the world shrink from 7.8 billion to just 300 million?

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    Blackheart
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    some of us are already out here...medical, educational, delivery personnel etc. welcome

    Alex Hamilton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A who farted? face if ever I saw one.

    #40

    Russia Just Unleashed It's Most Lethat Vaccine

    ninpou_kuchiyosei Report

    AroAcePanda
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Understandable, have a nice day"

    S.
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ight imma head out now

    Load More Replies...
    Isaac Kim
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It probably won't work, he didn't say "please"

    BoredDragon
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey COVID-19, could you please stop? Ok we’re good now.

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    ME
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    aight covid you good we good so like would ya please stop its not funny anymore aight?

    COcO BAMa
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about we ask the Pope to tell the virus to stop. huh..huh?

    #41

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    TragicAllyHere Report

    gargling_gargoyle
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I miss him :/ Loved him since I first saw Dogma at a wee 10 years old (which was honestly probably too young to be watching that movie but 🤷‍♀️)

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    Rando Pando
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rest In Peace Alan Rickman 🌹

    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So 10% were injured or killed by it? No thanks. And thanks FOIA.

    H Waddle
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    90% effective at causing death within a decade.

    See Also on Bored Panda
    #42

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    Report

    Bella
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I shall not stay calm!

    Logan Cheng
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    then you realize its probably like one of those soap bottles where they say "gets rid of 99.99% of germs" even though they don't make it 100% because they don't want to get sued...

    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The vaccine death rate might have been worse than the virus.

    #43

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    Report

    Hans
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only 100% effective vaccine is death.

    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Effective? Did you ever hear of Typhoid Mary? Vaxxed can carry it and not get sick. It does NOT slow the spread.

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    #44

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    DaveMcgrath1 Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Trump: Stock market is up!!!

    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But now we have better info. Vax killed thousands in trials.

    Gabriel Sbárbaro
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What "God" did to receive any credit???

    #45

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    piersmorgan Report

    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sad. What will horny Democrats do now?

    Kelly Hartle
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And I just now added the app--a day late and a dollar short again.

    #46

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    hungry_cap Report

    Banjo Peppers
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Okay how many more people are going to make this joke?

    #48

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    chickpee_ Report

    Chris
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's the blurred word??

    PotatoNinja5000
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor Bored Panda taking the time to censor words, only for us to have it as the top comment anyway 😅

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    Douglas DeViney
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    FOIA worked. Vax killed around 1200 in 90 days. No longer buried for 95 years. Democrat congress said we can't take Pfizer to court.

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    #49

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    ghoulcabin Report

    Cori
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And how the hell did they manage to cram themselves into those pants!?

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    Carrie Laughs
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who don't realise that certain fashions look dreadful if you take them to the extreme.

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    Cindy N
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are their pants so tight? Are there no workout machines for their legs in the gyms? How did that one guy fit a phone in those tight pants? So many questions.

    Khavrinen
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least you can be absolutely certain they're not afraid of needles....

    Blackheart
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    their pants will prevent it from circulating through their bodies

    Hilary Mol
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is anybody going to tell them they all borrowed their wives' or girlfriends' pants?

    Carole Deem
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How come all their legs look so skinny? They need to stop upper body workouts and work their other muscles.

    Animal lover❤
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's all so tight, how do they walk?

    Wyndmere
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guys in skinny jeans - look like lollipops with 2 sticks.

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    #50

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    TimRunsHisMouth Report

    Marcin Bulus-Trando
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which means that by taking the vaccine, you have 90% chance of not having to test your luck against the COVID-19 mortality odds. Yay!

    Kristin Ingersoll
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's way to much thinking for people who believe the entire world started a pandemic to make trump lose.

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    Viviane
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lots of people survived polio before the vaccine came along. They made do just fine with iron lungs and wheelchairs and leg braces and what not.

    H Edwards
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That really depends on who you are. If you're over 60, the survival rate is much lower.

    I I
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yeah math is wayyyyyyyy off with a death rate currently at 3% world wide , hell of a lot of people need to get un-dead to hit 0.2%

    VANILLA
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah but clorox kills 99% of germs

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The current worldwide death rate is about 3%. Even taking asymptomatic spreading into account, that's a lot less than a 99.8% survival rate.

    Henry Tuttle
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Closer to 99.5% for general population. That doesn't include the odds of hospitalization or serious illness or long term health problems. Also, doesn't include time/money lost as a result of the disease if you survive. Realistically, if you are under 40, you don't have much to worry about. But if you are 40-60, there is some real chance of serious illness even if odds of death are still fairly low.

    Mewton’s Third Paw
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m under 40, and I’m normal weight and whatever. But still, I’m not willing to just gamble on “you prolly be aiight.” I see people younger than me dying from blood clots caused by covid. And it’s totally random. “Prolly be aiight” is more for ordering clothes online or trying a new drink flavor. Not your actual only life.

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    Rod Egret
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When people don't understand numbers....

    Lu
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Survival does not mean living.

    Spinaap
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's painfull to say, but survivable and without any lasting damage are very, very very, very different things!

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    #51

    Thank God For Trump And Pfizer

    EbuShabaz Report

    Louloubelle
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you suppose these people are proud of this picture?

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Undoubtedly yes. Or in their language "Oh, Fishing Hell Yeah, B!tch!!!!"

    Load More Replies...
    BusLady
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder if they left their white robes at home.

    Downunderdude
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not to be political or anything, but why are Trump voters so ugly? Oh, wait - I was just political. Oh ,well.

    View more comments
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #52

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    StockCats Report

    Red
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why dont we try??

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm even willing to risk with only the cannabis and the Covid vaccine.

    Leo Domitrix
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wake up from this nightmare regularly. Thanks for the reminder. *sigh*

    #53

    Vaccine

    Gullible_Eggplant_56 Report

    Navy Blue Bandana
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This joke has been made way too many times at this point

    #54

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    Gilology Report

    #55

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    OfficCrumlinSC Report

    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not from the UK are you? NHS means it is free and if you don't qualify it will be about £9

    John Carr
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's from Dublin. Can buy loads of knocked off / fake goods around Crumlin......

    Load More Replies...
    #56

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    housewaif Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because Wendy is nearly as bad as Covid-19

    manon M
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    5g .... covid vaccine ???

    #57

    Gg Pfizer

    _thefaber_ Report

    Soap
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can someone explain?

    Bob Ross
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is a game called Plague Inc. and the symbol 'God' is showing is the upgrade you can get to make your disease more likely to bypass a vaccine.

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    #58

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    blutchman_ Report

    rspanther
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least I could swim better.

    A Jones
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not a bad trade. Being on land and around people can be a real drag sometimes. OCEAN ADVENTURE TIME!!!

    #59

    Covid-Vaccine-Jokes

    teblue Report

    The Fiddler on the Roof
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IF you think about it the people who think there are microchips in the vaccine most likely weren't going to take it either way.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe that chip will have Bluetooth capabilities. Then you could always locate your phone, your keys, and your remote.