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Crafting a snappy and witty comeback that’ll grab everyone’s attention is no easy feat. However, all that effort and comedic instinct are worth it—if it’s on the internet, it might just live on in the digital hall of fame in screenshot form. Who knows, you might see peeps sharing your comeback for years and years. Ego boost? Yes, please!

One place where these legendary testaments to people’s wit are documented is the ‘Clever Comebacks’ page on Twitter. Having been founded just a few short months ago, in February, it’s grown to have nearly 67k followers since then.

We’ve collected the crème de la crème of clever comebacks for you to enjoy, dear Pandas, so go on and have a look at them below. Hopefully, some of these will inspire you to greatness the next time you need a snappy one-liner. Don’t forget to upvote the ones you enjoyed the most and let us know what the very best comeback you’ve ever said or written was in the comments.

I reached out to British musical stand-up comedian and comedy writer Ariane Sherine to talk to her about comebacks, the role that courage plays in comedy, and how we can overcome our fear of being judged whether on-stage or on-screen. Have a read below for Bored Panda's interview with the humor expert.

#1

Clever-Funny-Comebacks

CleverComebacks Report

Kira Okah
Community Member
4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are only three companies in the USA that are allowed, by government regulation, to produce insulin. Talk to your government.

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    #2

    Clever-Funny-Comebacks

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    varwenea
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a sick burn. Hope he got bonus points for that answer.

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    "Courage is hugely important," British comedian Ariane told Bored Panda about its role in comedy. "The more courageous you are, the more you'll shed your inhibitions and the greater the chance that you'll say something shocking and funny."

    According to the comedy expert, the element of surprise is "essential" to comedy. And more often than not, "there's an edge or a hint of cruelty" in most jokes and comebacks. "If you're timid and careful, then you're probably not going to want to offend people with comebacks and will be polite rather than witty," she said.

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    #4

    Clever-Funny-Comebacks

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    Sum Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We saw the man kill a man on TV. f**k if the trial wasn't fair

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    #5

    Clever-Funny-Comebacks

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    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The student is not wrong. See what education does?

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    #6

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    Sum Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People should really start taking those Grammarly adverts seriously.

    RatherLoopy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed! It wouldn't make them any smarter but if their grammar improved, Americans might look a little less ignorant to the rest of the world. Then again, they'd still be making the same asinine statements, so probably not.

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    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People who give a f**k about other people's sexuality although it is none of their business as if it were somehow relevant, dowvote me.

    Marcellus the Third
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's vaguely relevant here though. I don't want a straight pedophile teaching my daughters... So I'm not 100% cool with straight teachers.

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    third molar
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How are people ok to send their girls(/boys) to heterosexual teachers, who are with them for 8 hrs?

    Julie
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because our kids need to learn reading, history and maths. ( I read your question wrong, sorry...but I will leave my answer anyways😁)

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    CatWoman312
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What your teacher does outside of his job is none of anyone’s business

    Alexander Neil
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The they're, their, and there comment was spot. on

    Susan Bosse
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm more concerned with his grammar than his sexual orientation.

    Alejandra Lima
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never knew this "they-their-they're-there" thing was an issue for so many people. I'm not a native english speaker but I had never mistaken these words.... Why? May be I was taught well? May be I paid attention? May be is just about how they sound so similar so kids learn how to pronounce them before they learn how to write? I don't get it...

    Hermione
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ESL speakers are usually less sloppy with the language than native English speakers.

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    pusheen buttercup
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jeez, there's a difference between homo and child molester. It's school curriculum, not how2Bgay101. No one taught me, after all.

    Seabeast
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *they're* Why is it these people are usually just barely literate?

    Aleksei
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They also misspelled "you", so that's there too

    Nikki Hilton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Throw in aisle, I'll and isle and we're good to go.

    April Pickett
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is a problem - how? They have graduated with a degree in education, have successfully "shadowed" a certified teacher, have been certified themselves, your school district hired them. They are qualified teachers. Please don't pass on your homophobia to your children.

    John Baker
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not to mention the difference between "u" and "you."

    Martha Higgins
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If his teacher taught him the difference between they're, their, and there, that second guy missed the lesson.

    Eric Lafleur
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You shouldn't blur/hide user names on stupid, racist, sexist and hommophobe posts like that so their entourage see how an hugly person they are.

    Janet Graham
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let the teacher teach! The days of morality clauses in contracts are passed. But, there should always be a list of what they cannot teach; religion. political ideology, sexually inappropriate stuff.

    Marty BlackEagle-Carl
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i had gay teachers, only around them maybe a hour a day then of to another class.

    IlovemydogShilo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gay straight WHO CARES???? As long as the kids get a good education that's all that matters

    Frogladysharon
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THIS sucks and doesn't belong in this at all, WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????????

    Edwin Lesperance
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That straight male needs a gay teacher, his straight teacher didn't teach the difference between they're, their, and there.

    Carpeton
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The point is good. However so many homosexual teachers (as usual, not all) use their position to preach on their opinion on sexual behaviour to kids, that it is understandable that many parents have concerns on them.

    Priscilla Reshell
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    The difference is men liking men their own age and creeps liking little boys. gay isn't creepy but gay pedo is.

    James Dean
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Did someone forget to put the clever comback bit on?

    Mickie Shea
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Most gay professionals are difficult to tell. Only the flamboyant ones will stand out. Better than a hypocrite.

    Debbie Lavender
    Community Member
    4 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    So Panda is asking us to read a snappy comeback by a human boing boing? ps, the Venn diagrams of gay and pedophilia are not coterminous.

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    The anonymity that the internet and social media provide can be a double edged sword: it can help people feel freer because they'll take criticism less personally, but it can also empower bullies to spew hatred. Comedian Ariane agreed that anonymity is a tool and everything depends on how we use it. 

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    "We feel freer to say things we wouldn't say in real life, but that also means we're more likely to be hurtful. I think the same is true of being on stage for comics—when we're holding the mic we feel free to dispense with niceties," she gave us her take on the relationship between anonymity, honesty, and comedy.

    #7

    Clever-Funny-Comebacks

    CleverComebacks Report

    Kesam
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agree but disagree. Everyone should do their part.

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    #8

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    Chris Wade
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In reply to "Something" - Umm, prepare to have your mind blown: you can eat more than one slice of cake.

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    Bored Panda was also intrigued to find out how best not to freeze up when you're going on-stage as a comedian or if we're paralized for fear of being rejected before posting a joke or a witty comeback. "Alcohol! Only joking. I guess it's to remember that fear of rejection never got anyone anywhere," Ariane quipped and then pointed out that we have to focus on what our end goals really are. "All the comics you admire have overcome fear of rejection. So do you want to make people laugh or not?"

    #10

    Clever-Funny-Comebacks

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    Nat Hedley
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    (You could text in the 90s though).

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    #11

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    troufaki13
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I prefer dad bods, but everyone has a preference :)

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    Comebacks, from cool and clever to lame and drab, are nothing new to us. Previously, I’d also spoken with comedian Ariane about the art of the comeback, as she's an insider in the world of comedy, timing, and shutting down hecklers.

    Speed, according to Ariane, is where the essence of comebacks lies. Without it, our attempts at humor can fall flat. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda in an earlier interview.

    #13

    Clever-Funny-Comebacks

    CleverComebacks Report

    Ryan Deschanel
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Put "decent people" instead of women. It still works, but it is more accurate and inclusive.

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    #15

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    Ben Moss
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jesus f*****g christ what idiot still doesnt understand that vaccines STRENGTHEN the immune system? Who honestly thinks that training your army makes it weaker?

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    However, unlike us mere mortals, most stand-up comics actually come prepared. They’ve got an entire repertoire of comebacks at the ready, just in case they need to shut down a heckler or fire off a rapid put-down or two. What’s more, comedians tend to share these comebacks with one another.

    #17

    Clever-Funny-Comebacks

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    Lisa
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know the bible never mentions the word, "Apple." Early Christian art depicted it as a fig. They believe Apple came into play because when translated "malum" means evil and "malus" is apple.

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    “We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," Ariane gave us an insight into the giggle industry.

    #21

    Clever-Funny-Comebacks

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    infinite upvote
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol Ryan doesnt know about corporate tax breaks

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    Ariane highlighted the fact that you grow your emotional resilience with experience as a comedian. Over time, you get better at delivering comebacks and how quickly you can do so. “You don't want to give them the chance to reject you—you've got to get in there first with a funny insult!" she said about the dynamic between the performer and the audience if the latter’s feeling a tad cheeky and wants to have a go at ruining the show.

    #22

    Clever-Funny-Comebacks

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    CatWoman312
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited)

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I hate how you can’t comment on people down arrowed. Anyway, to the sexist guys who only seem to care about embryos not actual living babies “no uterus, no opinion”

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    #23

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    Sum Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think we have peaked with this comeback... I don't see a better one coming up

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    #24

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    cybermerlin2000
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They found men who wore a mask were better than those who didn't because no woman wants to go near someone with a high risk of carrying COVID-19

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    If you feel like you’re not up to snuff, you really should draw on others for inspiration when it comes to good comedy. Whether it’s reading through tons of screenshots of clever comebacks that you find on the net or watching reruns of your favorite comedians (both are great).

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    However, British comedy pro Ariane pointed out that you shouldn’t be stealing original stand-up material for your own shows. It’s fine if you’re doing it to impress your friends, but there’s a certain code of honor that pops up when you start earning money for your jokes.

    #25

    Clever-Funny-Comebacks

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    Mark Schilling
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's a radical thought: maybe being concerned for the greater good is beneficial for the individual. We live in a society, not in isolated cells.

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    #26

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    Sum Guy
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's easier to run a negative story than a positive story

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    #27

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    Nona Wolf
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey... they said you're loved - they never said you were valuable.

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    Ariane told Bored Panda something that most people know but few voice aloud: it’s very clear to everybody when a comeback is good and when it’s so bad, you’ll be remembering it and cringing for years. We instinctively know what’s quality and what’s best left on the dusty lower shelf in the joke store.

    #28

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    Something
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminder that you created the world last Thursday.

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    #29

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    #30

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    CleverComebacks Report

    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He could have also used $30 million to built houses to fight homelessness.

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    “It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” the stand-up comedian listed all the things that a comeback needs in order to grab our attention and make us laugh.

    #31

    Clever-Funny-Comebacks

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    Kira Okah
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thing about Superman is that he wants to help and get people working together, so they can't do an edgy dark gritty reboot of him. He's too nice and not broody enough.

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    #32

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    Watching
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We all saw a video of trumps "peaceful protesters" that was released yesterday, showing them trying to murder a different cup and Brian Sicknick on January 6. I am truly disgusted.

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    #33

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    Something
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In order for these people to be satisfied, the vaccine would have to make people immortal.

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    #35

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    Ozacoter
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually this is something that is barely talked about. For example how it affects academic performance.

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    #36

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    WilvanderHeijden
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can slam the anti-vaxxers with logic, facts and figures all you want. It's just as useless as telling toddler Trump and his followers that he lost the elections fair and square.

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    #37

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    James016
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cartel wonders why people who are paid slave wages can't buy their criminally overpriced products.

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    #38

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    Indra Servo
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Whoa, lots of Brits Royal Agents in this comments section

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    #39

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    Chris Wade
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What?! You cut off the comeback! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5c79n0/you_can_have_sex_with_one_real_person_from_all_of/d9uf56l/?context=1

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    #40

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    Her Highness, Duke of Qin
    Community Member
    4 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like all lil nas songs even montero but those shoes bro...who ever gave him the idea?

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    #41

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    #42

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    CleverComebacks Report

    See Also on Bored Panda