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This Twitter Page Documents Only The Most Savage Yet Also Clever Comebacks, And Here’re 30 Of The Best Ones
Crafting a snappy and witty comeback that’ll grab everyone’s attention is no easy feat. However, all that effort and comedic instinct are worth it—if it’s on the internet, it might just live on in the digital hall of fame in screenshot form. Who knows, you might see peeps sharing your comeback for years and years. Ego boost? Yes, please!
One place where these legendary testaments to people’s wit are documented is the ‘Clever Comebacks’ page on Twitter. Having been founded just a few short months ago, in February, it’s grown to have nearly 67k followers since then.
We’ve collected the crème de la crème of clever comebacks for you to enjoy, dear Pandas, so go on and have a look at them below. Hopefully, some of these will inspire you to greatness the next time you need a snappy one-liner. Don’t forget to upvote the ones you enjoyed the most and let us know what the very best comeback you’ve ever said or written was in the comments.
I reached out to British musical stand-up comedian and comedy writer Ariane Sherine to talk to her about comebacks, the role that courage plays in comedy, and how we can overcome our fear of being judged whether on-stage or on-screen. Have a read below for Bored Panda's interview with the humor expert.
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"Courage is hugely important," British comedian Ariane told Bored Panda about its role in comedy. "The more courageous you are, the more you'll shed your inhibitions and the greater the chance that you'll say something shocking and funny."
According to the comedy expert, the element of surprise is "essential" to comedy. And more often than not, "there's an edge or a hint of cruelty" in most jokes and comebacks. "If you're timid and careful, then you're probably not going to want to offend people with comebacks and will be polite rather than witty," she said.
The anonymity that the internet and social media provide can be a double edged sword: it can help people feel freer because they'll take criticism less personally, but it can also empower bullies to spew hatred. Comedian Ariane agreed that anonymity is a tool and everything depends on how we use it.
"We feel freer to say things we wouldn't say in real life, but that also means we're more likely to be hurtful. I think the same is true of being on stage for comics—when we're holding the mic we feel free to dispense with niceties," she gave us her take on the relationship between anonymity, honesty, and comedy.
In reply to "Something" - Umm, prepare to have your mind blown: you can eat more than one slice of cake.
Bored Panda was also intrigued to find out how best not to freeze up when you're going on-stage as a comedian or if we're paralized for fear of being rejected before posting a joke or a witty comeback. "Alcohol! Only joking. I guess it's to remember that fear of rejection never got anyone anywhere," Ariane quipped and then pointed out that we have to focus on what our end goals really are. "All the comics you admire have overcome fear of rejection. So do you want to make people laugh or not?"
Comebacks, from cool and clever to lame and drab, are nothing new to us. Previously, I’d also spoken with comedian Ariane about the art of the comeback, as she's an insider in the world of comedy, timing, and shutting down hecklers.
Speed, according to Ariane, is where the essence of comebacks lies. Without it, our attempts at humor can fall flat. “I think the most important thing with comebacks is speed. Even if the joke isn't a total zinger, people will be impressed by your quickfire response," she told Bored Panda in an earlier interview.
Put "decent people" instead of women. It still works, but it is more accurate and inclusive.
However, unlike us mere mortals, most stand-up comics actually come prepared. They’ve got an entire repertoire of comebacks at the ready, just in case they need to shut down a heckler or fire off a rapid put-down or two. What’s more, comedians tend to share these comebacks with one another.
“We're not all as fast and talented as it seems! But if we're doing stand-up, our own routines will be original—it's just heckle putdowns that might not be," Ariane gave us an insight into the giggle industry.
Ariane highlighted the fact that you grow your emotional resilience with experience as a comedian. Over time, you get better at delivering comebacks and how quickly you can do so. “You don't want to give them the chance to reject you—you've got to get in there first with a funny insult!" she said about the dynamic between the performer and the audience if the latter’s feeling a tad cheeky and wants to have a go at ruining the show.
I hate how you can’t comment on people down arrowed. Anyway, to the sexist guys who only seem to care about embryos not actual living babies “no uterus, no opinion”
They found men who wore a mask were better than those who didn't because no woman wants to go near someone with a high risk of carrying COVID-19
If you feel like you’re not up to snuff, you really should draw on others for inspiration when it comes to good comedy. Whether it’s reading through tons of screenshots of clever comebacks that you find on the net or watching reruns of your favorite comedians (both are great).
However, British comedy pro Ariane pointed out that you shouldn’t be stealing original stand-up material for your own shows. It’s fine if you’re doing it to impress your friends, but there’s a certain code of honor that pops up when you start earning money for your jokes.
Here's a radical thought: maybe being concerned for the greater good is beneficial for the individual. We live in a society, not in isolated cells.
It's called negativity bias. Our brains are still wired to pay better attention to bad news. It used to keep our ancestors alive. Now, it just gets in our way.
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Am I the only one that reads the CNN headline the exact same way as the "comeback"? It is really enforcing the smallness of the number.
I didn't, they should've written "only X people got infected" and lose the "anyway".
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People are completely misunderstanding the "efficacy" part, it isn't about NOT getting infected... it's about NOT dying from the virus. So, we KNOW even vaccinated we can become infected but we've armed our immune system to fight the infection so we may be asymptomatic or experience mild to moderate symptoms. It's 90+% effective IN KEEPING YOU OUT OF THE ICU AND ALIVE!
All vaccine is just like that.. You still could sick by the disease.. But, you will not having the severe level of sickness
The point of a vaccine is so you don't. If you get sick with it you can still pass it on. Completely defeats the PURPOSE of the vaccine. FFS don't you fools know anything? "Oh yeah I had the vaccine, but I can still get covid and I can still pass it on!" Yep, that makes me feel safe. We're all in together, yeah, nah were not.
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The vaccine doesn't prevent one catching Covid-19; it prevents one DYING from it.
Lots of countries have given the vaccine to a huge part of the population, and yet thier covid numbers are growing, and people are still dying. In a few years time we will reflect on either the good or the harm that has come off this. From the start this whole covid issue has smacked of corporations taking advantage of this terrible time. It's only local and small business that have failed worldwide, while big corp has made a ton of money. Why would the pharma industry be any different? They make a killing on people being unwell. How many types of vaccine? So few companies and it Is Not Free. We will all across the world be paying for this. Not one GVT a has yet said how we will, as the taxpayer foot this massive bill for all the govt assistance we've had during covid Ooh ouch! It's gonna hurt
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This is exactly why I will be wearing a mask for the rest of this year even though I’m 100% vaccinated
As with any virus, you can still spread it without catching it. I work with autistic anti-vaxxers, who sneeze on me, constantly put their fingers in their mouth and up their nose (and sometimes MY nose), and occasionally lick random things in public places (This is not a slam on autistic people. I'm not saying that all autistic people do these things. My job is to work with the individuals who need help with certain behaviors). I will totally be wearing a mask until the virus is under control. Even though I'm vaccinated, I could still infect people.
Load More Replies... Yes, as Bill Maher just found out, you can be fully vaccinated and still get sick. But most won't and those who do won't die.
"... And out of the 5,800 infected no one died or had to be hospitalized, as the fact that you can still contract the virus doesn't mitigate the immune response boosted by the vaccin."
Only a few people in my station got the vaccine, I have my 2nd shot next week. Most people are afraid because of the Johnson & Johnson, they tell me this while vaping and smoking.
Good luck with the shot! Getting my first next week
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Yeah CNN is just reinforcing the efficacy of the vaccine. 5,800 out of TENS of MILLIONS of vaccinated people is a VERY small percentage. I guess math and fact-checking aren't their forte.
Yep. Untill it's your vaccinated kid that passes it onto your sick grandmother that hasn't had the shot cause she's prone to blood clots, that you ASSUMED would be safe because you have had the Vax. See the dangerous level of complacency in that?
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Headlines' main goal is to put questions on your mind in order for you to click/read the whole article. Click bait? yes.
5,800 people have been infected up until now, doesn’t mean everyone who has been vaccinated has been exposed to the virus
Just like how a woman's fertility decreases by 50% after 35. The real number is like 2.4% VS 1.2%
That would be the triumvirate of Fox, NewsMax and OANN.
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Condoms don't protect you 100% against STDs or pregnancy, but I'm still going to use them. Eating healthy does not guarantee a long life, but I'm still going to eat vegetables. Taking self-defense classes doesn't mean I will never be attacked, but I still go to the classes. Wearing a seatbelt doesn't mean I will never die in a car accident, but I still wear it. I could still get infected after taking the vaccine, but I got vaccinated as soon as I could.
More like: Misunderstand the math, die despite the math
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I'm not getting vaccinated, but if I HAD to choose it'd be the Johnson.
Ariane told Bored Panda something that most people know but few voice aloud: it’s very clear to everybody when a comeback is good and when it’s so bad, you’ll be remembering it and cringing for years. We instinctively know what’s quality and what’s best left on the dusty lower shelf in the joke store.
He could have also used $30 million to built houses to fight homelessness.
Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
“It needs to be very fast, well-timed, and take people by surprise as well as being clever, witty, and immediately understandable,” the stand-up comedian listed all the things that a comeback needs in order to grab our attention and make us laugh.
I am grateful that BP reposts from Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit, because I don't spend time on those apps.
All I gotta say is that there are a lot of trolls on the internet and the best way to deal with them is to not give them any attention at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But it's more fun of you do give them attention
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Ok so me and my sis were on the bus yesterday and some dumbass boys were hung annoying. So anyways one of them tells her "I bet your dad spends more money on milk than you!" And she just ignored him and he said "Aww, are you gonna cry?" And she whips around with the biggest smile and says "At least my dad came home with the milk" IT WAS THE BEST COMEBACK EVER
Ok so the point of the original joke the boys were trying to make was following the story of like a dad going to get milk and never coming back, just their own dumb version of it
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Ok, funny article, but does anyone else find when they click the upvote button they get a pop up to another website? it's super annoying.
Use uBlock origin as an addon in your browserand you won't get ad popups.
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This is just a forum for one guys posts. Don't veil it, just call it "an account i like"
I found this gem... probably no one looks down here but i thought it was a good comment >:D Screen-Sho...01-png.jpg 
I'm on 240% magnification, and I still can't see that.
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I am grateful that BP reposts from Twitter, Tumblr and Reddit, because I don't spend time on those apps.
All I gotta say is that there are a lot of trolls on the internet and the best way to deal with them is to not give them any attention at all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
But it's more fun of you do give them attention
Load More Replies... Ok so me and my sis were on the bus yesterday and some dumbass boys were hung annoying. So anyways one of them tells her "I bet your dad spends more money on milk than you!" And she just ignored him and he said "Aww, are you gonna cry?" And she whips around with the biggest smile and says "At least my dad came home with the milk" IT WAS THE BEST COMEBACK EVER
Ok so the point of the original joke the boys were trying to make was following the story of like a dad going to get milk and never coming back, just their own dumb version of it
Load More Replies... Ok, funny article, but does anyone else find when they click the upvote button they get a pop up to another website? it's super annoying.
Use uBlock origin as an addon in your browserand you won't get ad popups.
Load More Replies... This is just a forum for one guys posts. Don't veil it, just call it "an account i like"
I found this gem... probably no one looks down here but i thought it was a good comment >:D Screen-Sho...01-png.jpg
I'm on 240% magnification, and I still can't see that.
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