If you are a parent, you’re probably both anticipating and dreading the moment of your children moving out. On the one hand, you’ll finally have peace in your home, you can easily keep it as tidy and neat as you wish, and there won’t be any incidents of waiting for your child to come back from wherever they are until the break of dawn. On the other - they just won’t be there anymore, and missing your kids will always be on the daily agenda. But how this scenario will truly play out, you’ll know when you’ll get there; meanwhile, you can read the stories of these empty nesters who shared their experiences after their kids moved out in this ingenious Reddit thread. Ready to take a look?
While some of these people do relish the fact that they finally have their homes to their own, lots of additional space to spread out in, and nobody to fine-tune their habits to, most of them agree that life without kids is a life that’s missing something. Well, since we’re not in a position to either agree or deny their experiences without having any kids of our own, we can at least surmise the fact that children form a huge part of your life from the written evidence we’ve found on this awesome AskReddit page. I guess most of us will have to go through this experience firsthand, sooner or later.
But for now, let’s stick to reading these stories shared by parents about the interesting things they discovered when their kids moved out. Right now these findings are in no particular order, but if some of them resonate with you or make you laugh, give them your vote. And lastly, share this article with anyone to whom it might be relatable!
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"How much my kids truly like and love me. They keep in contact all the time and find any excuse to come over and hang out with me. I figured they would just go on their own lives and leave me behind. Guess I did a good job."
"My mom bought two guinea pigs because "the house felt empty"."
"The possibility to spend much more time with my wife, which wasn't a surprise, but to sort of rediscover her as the amazing individual I once fell in love with. I never lost sight of it, but the roles of mother and father took up soo much of our time, so our "we"-time had always been on the back-burner (I know I haven't worded this very clearly, but I hope you get what I mean)."
I hope my husband still likes me when the kids are gone. Right now we have no choice. Teenagers are the mutual enemy. Nothing makes an ally like a mutual enemy.
"We have 4 kids. When the 1st on left, I was surprised at how much the whole dynamic of the house changed. Don't know how to explain it. Just a different vibe. Also, we did a pretty good job of having dinner together as a family nearly every night. So, of course, everyone had their place at the table and that never changed. For a few months after the first one moved out, sometimes I'd look to the other end of the table and my wife would be spontaneously crying as she looked at the empty spot next to her. (Don't worry, we're doing better now.) Lastly, this can be quite emotional for some parents because in some ways they are almost having a funeral for the child. Once that kid moves out, there can be a literal mourning of the "death" of a child because that child is never coming back. When they visit again they are an adult. And by saying this I certainly don't want to trivialize the trauma folks experience at the actual death of a child. This isn't nearly as hard. Not even in the same universe of difficulty."
I have 2 son's. A 27 year old who moved for University a few years ago. My youngest turned 18 in August 2022 and went to University in September 2022. I am a single mum working full time and did almost everything for my youngest. It honestly felt like a bereavement, i cried so much when he left the house. He has clome home a few time for holidays and some family events. I have come to terms with him not being home, but love the time i have with both my boys.
"My parents have had 5 kids move out so far and are now the proud owners of 3 cats and 2 dogs. I'm fully convinced she is replacing us with animals. Not sure if I should be offended that she got a pomeranian when I moved out. That thing is annoying as hell."
Considering the wide range of pets available you could count your blssings they didn't replace you with a rat or a pig 😂
"My mom said the most surprising thing to her is all the meals she used to cook for us that I hated, I now request those same meals frequently."
"When I moved out (I moved countries too so I was gone, gone) I got a pitiful phone call from my parents. They begged me to return. My dad said he needed someone to talk to (basically he wanted his free therapist back) and needed someone to give him back massages (He historically had back problems and my mom is bad at massaging sore muscles without leaving bruises). My mom begged me to come back and take over parenting, cooking and cleaning again saying that she was too old. It made me feel very used. I hadn't realized how much I had been doing for them. It was especially manipulative when my mom put my baby sister on and she cried and asked why I didn't love her anymore and told me about how my mom wasn't taking care of her and just ignored her needs (she was 4)."
"That a gallon of milk and loaf of bread did not cost $20."
"How far I could make groceries stretch."
"I asked my dad this and he said it was how much money they suddenly had, and how everything wasn't broken anymore. Once we moved out, they bought all new appliances, windows, bathroom fixtures, recarpeted, and repainted."
A friend of mine who didn't spend much time at home during college because of distance and studies came home expecting his old bedroom to at least be there. Wrong! Craft room with a new door on one wall. He opened it and led to an addition with mancave. He had been home improvemented out !
"How much stuff they can actually live without. My kids left so much stuff."
That’s a great point, like, why am I keeping all of their old stuff?
"My mother told me that she didn’t realize how much noise I made lol."
Off-subject a little, but when my husband died, the silence of my mobile phone was deafening. We were best friends and chatted often throughout the day. I still have his phone. His kids call it sometimes to hear his greeting and leave voicemails. Heaven had to have him back.
"I do not know how to cook for two. Since my son moved out three weeks ago, I've been cooking twice a week and we've been eating a lot of leftovers."
We had four active daughters and let me tell you, whoever said girls can't eat never met athletic girls. In a family of 6 I cooked for 12 and learning how to cook for 2.....sheesh. That was HARD! It took me about 6 months just to stop buying 2 gallons of milk every time I went to the grocery store!
"Having to shift my focus from them to myself. What the heck do I do now."
Been there, done that. Get a pet or two. Preferably the friendly and cuddly kind.Two large Velcro dogs worked for me.
"I don't have to do laundry every day!!"
THIS! 🤣 I had four daughters and the amount of laundry I did daily was staggering!
"One thing is how much I do miss my kids. I enjoy them not being here (even more once the last one moves out and my MIL is gone) but I miss them. I was so tired of living in one room (master bedroom was also my office and I work from home) and I enjoy the extra room, but I hate not stopping by and joking around when I see something weird or funny online. Or just grabbing something I know they like when I am at the store and just kind of dropping it by their room as I go past. All those little things are gone now. I hope they realize how much those little things really meant. The other is some of my own personal issues. I want to hear from my kids but I don't want to bother them so I don't contact them as often as I would like. I have never been much of a just talk-to-talk person so that hurts me in communications. I see a lot of my dad in me that way, he rarely ever calls me except when there is a death in the family or something. I used to not call him when he worked because I could never remember when it was safe to call."
"That we talk more now that he lives on his own. We seriously play games at least twice a week for four to six hours. I also realized I was the safe mom that all his friends felt comfortable with. They still call to talk or stop by for a social distanced catch-up. I also realized that my water bill was only a 1/4 of what it used to be. I wasn’t imagining the super long showers."
"I’m not a parent, but my parents are going to notice how there’s still someone putting dishes in the sink."
"How the temperature miraculously stayed the same, 24/7."
"I’m the last child to move out. I guess what surprised me was how much my dad cared for his children. Mother told me how he’d cried for days because I could have stayed longer but decided to start my life. Never really dawned on me how much he loves us."
Kid #1 - mom cried a lot. Kid # 2 - mom kept setting an extra place at the table. Kid #3 (me) - mom always wanted me to come for dinner and take home extras.. Kid #4 - mom called a lot. Kid # 5 - mom dropped her off. ( Family joke ) . Three boys and 2 girls... Dad said 3 Kings and 2 Queens.... A Full House!
"When they move out, they also take a step towards adulthood, which means our relationship also changes for the better. We can take a step away from "parent-child"-relationship to "two people who love and respect each other" and we can talk about many issues much more as equals now. They have their own, thoughtful opinions on many topics, an I love having these discussions because more often than not they'll surprise me with a different perspective, and make me re-think my own opinions."
That happened for me when son was in high school--he was learning about things I didn't teach him! I loved it!
"As the one who moved out: how pets can take to the change of household members. My parents have a cat, Riley, who was with them the time I was living with them (note: This was my second time living at home, bad times in my life) - he always had a connection with me, and would enjoy curling up next to me and purring for me, plus, I am the only one he allows to carry him baby style, and after I moved out, he spent several days wandering around the house, as if he was trying to find where I had disappeared to. And the first time I visited after that, he meowed at me a lot, like he was shouting at me for leaving. Even now, when I visit, he'll cuddle up to me the moment I am sat down."
I believe he was fussing at you. You can't do anything about it. Enjoy the cuddles, he lives for them. You too maybe.
mel_cache said:
"How much my food bill went down. Also the quiet."
RayNooze replied:
"And electricity. And heating. And water. And how little you move your car anymore."
Definitely the car one. Not that we usually had to move it for someone to get out, but even when they were driving on their own with their own vehicles, they wanted us to drive somewhere with them.
dc1732 said:
"That he never called his mother for 3 weeks. She was crushed. She loves her babies even at age 22. We still have 3 at home thank goodness."
FattyTheNunchuck replied:
"I was the same way for a long, long time. I grew up with strict parents. Religious, politically conservative, all that. My folks were strict enough, that when I was in college and over the age of 18, they would still interfere and make decisions for me. When I finally got out on my own, I stopped telling them about a lot of my life. I started doing a lot of things that I had always wanted to do. And I also found that I didn't need or want to talk with them that often, because they were my primary social group even up to my early 20s. Last year, I made the decision to start calling my mom once a week. Before that, even though I didn't talk to her frequently, I made sure to tell her I loved her before I hung up. This year I am calling my mom twice a week. Our relationship has gotten a lot better, and I kind of wish I had started doing this 10 years ago."
I'm probably gonna end up doing this although I don't know if I'll ever reconnect with my mother.
"Answering for my parents: that it wasn't their kids who kept making the house messy and hoarding."
Must have come as a nasty surprise to at least one of them ... and leaves the questions how well they knew each other before they moved in together way back when
"I never realized how much my parents relied on my rent. Every month I have to come up with a different excuse so they'll still take it."
"Last kid moves out, divorced a year later."
A prominent male figure in my life and his wife divorced after 35-40 years together shortly after their youngest moved. Said they just didn't know each other as anything other than parents anymore...
"How similar it feels to starting your life over after a breakup or graduating from college. And then the immense sadness you feel when they ask to move back in because the $150K liberal arts degree you bought them won’t let them actually make a living."
Don't get a liberal arts degree unless you have serious talent. Or at least do the first 2 years at a community college. But if you can't do stem, getting a business degree is your best best.
"On the flip side; my mum told me the first night I moved out, she found my dad sitting downstairs reading my favorite childhood book to himself. I hilariously refused to let anyone read me that book. That was mine and dad's book up until I was about 6 (then I just read by myself). After all the emotional/verbal abuse he dealt throughout my life I was surprised he cared enough to miss me..."
Your dad probably has regrets. My dad died 2 years ago, and as I got into my mid 20's, he started to open up to me more. Admitted to me he had a lot of things he knew he messed up on and wishes he had done differently. You gain perspective as you grow, and he probably got hit hard with reality when he saw you really left. I've learned that my dad had a messed up childhood himself, and justified it as he wasn't as bad to me as his dad was to him. He was caught up in his own stuff at the time, but it doesn't mean he didn't love me at all. He just didn't know how to deal with his own stuff. Made me pity him a little.
"It's an instant pay rise. God knows I love them, but even when they have been working and contributing to the household, me and my wife have still fronted most of the bills and purchases. Going from providing for a family of five to just me and the wife... let's just say we eat better cuts of meat and our savings accounts have never been healthier."
"Mom here. I was worried that I would be sad and heartbroken. I found out that was not the case. I was excited to see where her path took her. It's amazing to see her making her own world and dreams come true. I now have more money, so I travel a lot more."
"My best friend found half of their dishes hidden in their son's closet. They were dirty and disgusting. They knew dishes were going missing and had asked him dozens of times if he had them but he always denied it. He wasn't mean or rotten just lazy and goofy."
I hope he decides to live alone until he learns to clean up after himself properly.
"That they each came back at least once, usually for just a few months, to save some money. It's expensive out there."
I would love and hate having mine move back. Though I'm sure that the adults they are now are not the same as the kids who left.
"How much harder it is to raise grandkids. We just weren't expecting that one."
"How little clothing mattered around the house."
I streak around my house unless I have visitors. I'm not out in public, so outside of maybe cleaning/going to get the mail/being cold why do I need clothes?
"I was the youngest of 3 and moved out with my sister. My mom kept going on about how excited she was to be free. 2 months in she adopted a cat that look exactly like mine. I still call her once a week to make sure she isn't too lonely."
"I remember my mom being surprised at how many dishes my dad left out. She had always assumed that it was me. "
"When I moved out, my mum suddenly realised how much of a pain taking out the rubbish was (the path to the bins was awful and it was a lot of stairs to climb). She never did it before, lol. Also, our relationship improved drastically. We now live in different countries and haven't seen each other for over a year. The same can be said about the rest of my family tbh, we are all totally introverted and everyone lives alone now and everyone likes it so much better this way."
"The moment our son moved out to live on his own he became vegetarian. He never gave us any indication he was planning to or wanted to be vegetarian."
"To answer on my parents behalf: how much the two of them had grown apart."
wederservebetter said:
"The dad identity I adopted, isn't who I am. I'm a dad, but I used to be more than that and still want to be."
vicariousgluten replied:
"I've seen that with my own dad since I moved out. We now actually seek out each other's company. He's doing stuff he really enjoys doing and it's great to see him be enthusiastic and excited about new stuff. He's not the "no dad" anymore. He travels with friends, he's taken up cooking, he's out most nights (pre-plague) and has at least one zoom call a day with people. I often wish I could tell my Mum how much he's blossomed."
"I moved out at 17 because my GF got an apartment. Mom was heartbroken and I feel bad about it today."
"Answering on their behalf "just a joke" they now have to take out the trash and do grocery shopping themselves, plus they have to get off their seats to get a cup of water."
"How quickly they pick things up. I don’t mean that literally. I think I thought my daughter would be a potato for much longer than she was."
"My parents begged me to move home because they wanted to have a full house again. When COVID hit, they got their wish. They seem to forget their kids aren't children anymore and that we don't have to ask permission to come and go or to spend time somewhere that isn't home."
"All the stuff he had. I don't know where he got thousands of dollars worth of cameras, tablets, laptops, and other expensive things. He never had a traditional employer. When we saw all the stuff, we thought he got into drugs or stealing or something."
"That I could get naughty whenever I wanted haha!! And also the laundry and dishes my God those pesky kids had some washing to be done."
"That he was more like his mother than he or I realized."
Sounds like what my father would say about me... the only thing I really got from him was his laid-back temperament
"That I would worry so much about them when I no longer see them every day. For sure, I call them often and we talk, but we don't see much of each other these days (for obvious reasons)."
"Just how much I still miss living with him, even though he’s been settled out of home for a few years now after yoyoing a bit."
"The p**n that boy stashed under his mattress. I burned it. Not to my taste whatsoever."
I used to stash my video games under my mattress when I didn't want my mom to find them. Most of them where violent, M-rated shooters because she didn't like that I played FPS games (I love em but only when angry, and when the anger dissipates I turn it off because it's no longer as satisfying) Edit: if it's between killing in a video game and killing IRL, I'd rather kill in a video game
"He remains independent. It's been years since he moved out and he has never had to move back in."
