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30 Childfree People Who Face Double Standards At Work Open Up About How Unfair It Is
While more and more people are now opting to stay childfree, some still find it hard to understand this conscious decision. Things become even more complicated when it comes to aiming for a healthy work-life balance. You see, managers or coworkers can suddenly decide that people without kids have plenty of time on their hands to cover the less-desired shifts and work during holidays or other important events.
And this viral Twitter thread illustrates it all too well. Therapist, bestselling author and relationship expert Nedra Tawwab recently tweeted, "I don’t know who needs to hear this, but: Being childfree doesn't mean being more available," and it deeply resonated with a lot of users.
Hundreds chimed in on how their bosses or colleagues show little respect for their personal life choices. Bored Panda has collected some of the most illuminating answers frustrated workers had to share, so check them out right below. Make sure to upvote the ones you agree with and, if you have any similar stories to share, tell us about them in the comments!
Recently, Nedra Tawwab’s tweet about the struggles childfree people face at work struck a chord with many users, inspiring them to share their own experiences
Image credits: NedraTawwab
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My cats have human names. Eugene & Boris. According to my company I have a 3year old and a 5 year old child. They don't have to know they're felines. They are still my children
Nedra Tawwab, who is also the author of Set Boundaries Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself told BuzzFeed, "People without children have become burnt out, especially during the pandemic, as they've been expected to do more. The perception is that when you don't have children, you have more time available and can therefore offer others more support."
"People must advocate for free time and challenge the expectation that they must be more flexible," she added. "It seems like a punishment to have more expected of you because you don't have children. All humans have a specific capacity to operate effectively — demanding more of people when their capacity is full doesn't increase productivity; it decreases it."
People who have children do it with choice. Even if a child is "unexpected"....come on...you knew the biology and the risks. So just live with your choice, and do not expect ANYONE to step in and make your life easier. It was YOUR choice....embrace it...and shut up.
Bored Panda was curious to learn more about why the decision not to have children is often a stigmatized one, so we reached out to Erin Spurling, founder of Curiously Childfree. "I think it stems from having children being seen as 'the norm' for so long, it’s then hard for people to understand something different to that," she told us.
This is partly why she set up this childfree space, which you can also find under the handle @curiouslychildfree on Instagram. Spurling wishes that people could speak more openly about this choice and help others understand and be more accepting.
The decision not to parent is sometimes hard to grasp for people who see kids as a crucial part of having a fulfilled family. "A very prescriptive view of life has been presented for such a long time," she explained. "Life is typically seen as — grow up, get married, buy a house, have children. Lots of people don’t consider something outside of that norm."
Spurling also added that non-parents are a minority, so those who have little or no interaction with childfree people can jump to conclusions or go along with stereotypes. "It’s often assumed we all choose this way of life because we’re selfish but that’s often far from the truth, and there are so many reasons."
Pew Research Center conducted a survey that found there’s a rising share of Americans who say they are unlikely to ever have kids. More than half (56%) of childless adults younger than 50 said they simply don’t want to have them. Non-parents who have other reasons stated it’s due to medical reasons (19%), financial reasons (17%), and because they do not have a partner (15%).
Around one in ten pointed out their age or their partner’s age (10%) or the state of the world (9%) is their main motivation to remain childfree, and 5% cite environmental concerns, including climate change.
Why didn't you just say No? We all have family, whether we have kids or not.
The founder of Curiously Childfree told Bored Panda childfree people might also be reluctant to talk about their life choices because of the harsh critique they so often receive. "The lack of conversation about it means there are fewer opportunities for people to learn and understand," she said.
People without kids face double standards at work because they are generally viewed as having more time, no commitments, no responsibilities, and lots of flexibility, Spurling argued. "But there is also an attitude that caring for children is more important than anything a childfree person might be involved with in their life, which can be frustrating. It can make you feel like you’re not valued, your time isn’t important and your choices aren’t respected."
This is ridiculous! Other people are not required to sacrifice because you have kids and they don't. WTF? This is like saying I can't have a cookie because you're on a diet. Sod off and tend to your own knitting.
American here. "Sod off and tend to your own knitting" is about to replace "mind your own business" in my vocabulary 💜
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They used to give this excuse to not pay women more than men because 'men have a family to support'. So I call BS. You don't know if someone has student loans, hospital bills, helping family members, etc. In some cases, I'd like to see the expenses, too. I'm generalizing here, but parents spend a lot of money on BS for their kids. I've seen 2-month-olds with $50 Timberland boots. I've seen babies who have more clothes than I do and they're going to grow out of them in a month. And the toys that are bought for a child are so crazy. Anyone telling me to lower my prices would get 'make better choices with your money' right back at them.
Walmart did that to my Mom. She was a co-manager in her 50s w/a guy in his 30s. They would get the schedule & this guy go to the office & start switching it around because "He's a Dad." He refused to work Sundays for religious reasons. My Mom heard about his family a lot, every time he took her days off or switched her hours or TOOK her hours, well, you are single & your children are grown. After 6 straight months of working every weekend, working nights, having to come in at the last minute because he switched her time (management approved this) Mom did two things. She joined & attended a few times a Seventh Day Adventist church. Sent them $10 a month after that to the day she died. So she had to have Saturdays off. Then, she told her doc she was having a little trouble seeing at night, which was true, & mentioned she had a 45 minute commute, often late at night. Doc writes a letter saying she can only work days. Poor unhappy family man. Happy Mom.
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You see this a lot on OfferUp and craigslist. "Can you lower the price / give it away for free because it's for my kid/" crap. Tough sh*t, your kid is not my financial problem.
Tell them "I'm trying to save up money so I can afford to have a family some day. I hear it's expensive!"
As funny as it is it is totally plausible and cannot be argued with. Brilliant
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Yeah, because the folks who send me bills are SOO much more lenient with me than they are with FAMILIES. /s
You still have to eat. What does having kids have to do with charging what you feel is appropriate for your services? If they can't afford you they need to find someone that they can.
Thats the biggest asanine assumption I've heard yet. I was told this very thing because I'm a woman and 'don't have a family to support' and the male co workers did so they were paid an extra dollar over their female co workers. Still boils my blood 20 years later.
So, wait - with THAT logic the guy with 8 kids should get paid more than the guy with 6, and the married lady with 4 should get paid more than the single dad with 3? What about the child supporting two disabled elderly parents, or a brother who can't find work with HIS 2 year old? Wages are NOT based on having to support others, they are based on THE WORK DONE. Anyone that thinks otherwise is using the same S**T reasoning that men have used to pay women less for, like, ever - well I HAVE A FAMILY TO SUPPORT little lady, go get married, get back in the kitchen & let a man support you!
You bred them, you support them. I'm not subsidizing your life choices. Pay what I quote, find someone else, do it yourself, or do without.
How would they even know you don't have kids? Don't mention it! And family might know, but we all know not to work with family.
My charge is based on what I know, how hard it is, and how long it takes. Not based on your family.
I had this happen A LOT when I was an LMT. Built up what I thought were good relationships with clients while finishing up all the tests to get my license. Smh, wrong! As soon as I started charging $35-45/hr to drive to their homes to do the massages (still a fabulous price considering that for the massages I was providing would've cost $80+/hr if they'd have been driving their own butts to an office), it was "that's so expensive", "I didn't know you were going to charge mooorree" and "why so much, I thought you weren't married/didn't have a family to care for". Wtf!? Keep in mind ALL these people had more than 2 vehicles, 4-5+ bedroom houses etc! It was one of the top 3 reasons I did not renew my license as a massage therapist.
If anyone ever tries to say this to me im finna hit them with "this is why you can make claims on your tax paper" literally when you get a job you can choose how many dependents you claim from your paycheq for. Though. You ahould claim less if you wanna pay less taxes and get a bigger tax return. Children arent an excuse as to why ones finances should be outta whack
There was a AITA post on here months ago about a guy who's sister would constantly volunteer his services for babysitting her kids. This particular time was because she had a hair appointment. He flat out told her no and she ended up just showing up at his house with the kids and he saw her coming and literally hid. She then texted him how rude and inconsiderate he was and it caused this big problem in his family. It's was so entitled and ridiculous and I just don't understand why being childless means you are automatically someone's babysitter as if your time means nothing? Especially when you aren't getting paid!
Recently, Spurling stumbled upon a job ad that stated parents got an extra week’s annual leave every year. "That could be hard to accept as a childfree person, but I would argue it might be even harder for a childless person who very much wanted to have children but then couldn’t, and now they find themselves covering the extra workload of those lucky enough to have been successful in their choice to have children."
My employer asks for volunteers to work every single weekend, and I never do. When I had my review they were like 'you're very punctual and you don't call out but we'd like to see you take some shifts on the weekends here and there so it's not always the same people volunteering' and i'm like....no. I'm not working past the schedule I'm given. Why is that even being brought up at my review as a negative when I'm not required to do this? It's volunteering for a reason-- it's not required. How about you fix your scheduling problem by hiring more people that way you don't have to guilt people into working on weekends who already work 50 hours a week?
It’s Strange …. People longing & wishing for Kids & a Big Family?!! When They finally get the Kids,all They do is complain about how tired & hard it is😳🤨 They want Sitters & “ Own/Me-time “!!!! What the F**k???? What’s wrong with U folks🤬 Kids are a Gift! U only have them for 18 Yrs!!! And YES!!! It is HARD,BUT 90% is Pure Love!! And Remember…. They didn’t choose to come here!!
17 is way past any kind of justification. It's not like you have to play with them and put them down for naps
Spurling somewhat agrees with Tawwab’s line of thinking: "I do think it can be true that we have more flexibility. … But I don’t think that means we should be expected to cover work for those who do have children." After all, people who opt not to have kids do have commitments in other forms — second jobs, caring for relatives, volunteering, pets, hobbies, she explained.
"I think it’s important to remember that committing to any of these is someone’s personal life choice, and none of these life choices should be seen as lesser or more important than another. Each of us lives our life to reflect what we want, for some that involves children and for others it doesn’t."
Or worse, you do all that with the hope that when YOU need help someone would do the same for you but it's very rare for it to go both ways. They often disappear as soon as *you* need them.
I have no problem with supporting programs that benefit kids because I think as a society we should help the most vulnerable, but that also doesn't mean I'm going to trade my vacation days, Diane, just because your kids' spring break falls around the same time. I asked for it off 4 months ahead as you should have too!
If you want to change your situation and set some healthy boundaries, Spurling advised you to stand your ground but not in a confrontational way. "When you find yourself being judged or devalued because of your choice, it can be easy to become quickly defensive in these situations but discussing it calmly will be far more helpful to both sides."
"It’s not that childfree people can’t or don’t want to help if a colleague needs to leave because a child is unwell for example, it’s about that help being a two-way street. Sticking to your own boundaries can be tough but once you start doing it, it does become easier, people will adjust and you will feel happier because you’ll be living within your own limits," she concluded.
"I have 3 kids and no money. Why can't I have no kids and 3 money?" - Homer
Exactly! I enjoy being able to travel and have hobbies and not be weighed down by sticky crumb snatching little humans. I'm sick of people with kids calling me selfish for wanting a life without the burden of children. The petty jealousy of my "easy" life is laughable. Move along with your parade of children (the one at the back wondered off btw) Becky because I need to get to the wine section and you're all in my way.
A guy I know was in a similar situation. He worked at different military posts in a civilian liaison post and he was always sent to the worst and most dangerous areas. When he turned 50 he had put in his '20' as he called it which was the length of time for this position where you can then ask for a specific assignment. He had been really excited about getting Italy and when it came up to choose, they forced him to stay where he was because someone who had a family ended up getting the spot. He can't prove it but it was so obvious. When he asked one of his former bosses (who was retired and they were friendly) why did he think he didn't get it he said Italy was more of a family-friendly location and he knew from experience that locations were chosen for people with families first and singles got the more difficult locations because if anything happened in a more violent area, there was less of a PR problem.
This. I remember managing a few stores in my early/mid 20s. I never once asked people to do more than what their availability stated. If I needed more people, I'd hire more, or, wild thought here, I WORKED IT. As a jewelry store manager, I worked 6 days a week, usually open to close. December I didnt have a day off. When I left, I had to hire a whole new core staff, all but 1 person quit. Owners of that company used me bad. So, any manager out there acting like their employees are their personal servants need to fùcking step up and do better.
Everytime I decline to babysit ANOTHER Grandchild, I am asked,( " why ? you have nothing to do! ) Oh, no just raising your first one isn't enough I suppose??
In one very cold spell a few years back, three of us who lived within a few hundred yards of each other (two on the same road) couldn’t reasonably make it into the office for a couple of days without making a 3+ hour trek each way due to heavy snow and icy roads. Another single guy and I were made to book those two days as annual leave, while HR turned a blind eye to the third person, who had two children.
Note: this post originally had 34 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
The employers who allow bosses to take advantage of workers without children are being unreasonable. Also employers who allow employees to use their kids as an excuse for everything are being unreasonable. Just being a working parent isn't unreasonable
Replace single or childless with the word retired and repost this thread
Load More Replies... I will not contribute this human catastrophe. Why would I want to doom a kid I don't know to a lifetime in an Idiocracy? To borrow a playground idiom: I'm taking my balls and I'm going home.
Did you see Idiocracy? Only the stupid had children. Smart people need to have children and raise good people.
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Also I would like to add, that not everyone is childless by choice. Imagine you're always expected to cover for colleagues with children and having to hear comments like "Try having children..." or some of the things mentioned above....makes it hurt even more when you being reminded of the fact, that you're not able to have a child.
This to me sounds like an employer issue. Whether you have kids or not, off the clock is off. You need more work done, hire more people. To the childless people casting aspersions on parents, and vice versa, all we're doing is helping the employer keep this charade going. We are the employees and regardless of what's at home, you deserve to be there when you've fulfilled your work commitments expected, not the ones added cause employers just need someone to do it. It doesn't matter if you are raising kids, animals, plants, you're a person. You can say no and you're worth leaving work for yourself.
I've been very lucky, in this sense, because my manager is also unmarried, and with no children, so she has never pushed that nonsense onto us.
Also, just because you choose to be childfree does NOT mean that you're not doing your "womanly duty" that "God put you on this earth to do". I absolutely detest hearing that one. Like, yeah, I'm totally gonna go ruin my already struggling mental health and financial situation to pop out a few kids because that's what females are "supposed" to do. Get real. Imma punch the next person who says that.
Don't you all see how your employer is pitting you against each other? This is about their planning, not yours. If someone is hired with the understanding that they can't do x (whether that is because of children or other reasons) it really isn't anyone else's business. When your boss even shares that, it is completely inappropriate and their way of shifting the blame for their problems onto the workers. You are letting them lead you away from the real problem.
I have had the opposite. I didn't want to work every time Karen needed time off for a family thing, which was every week or two. Not kids. Family. Grown people. When I asked for time off to go to something for one of my two kids, I got attitude. Everyone has family and just because those family are children, doesn't mean that they are less, or more, important.
I'm not child free, but I have 2 kids (18 and 20), both still live at home because they go to the local community college. My oldest has an old car, but between their alternating school schedules and part time work schedules, I choose to work weekends. That way I can accommodate one of them whether it be taking them to work, school, or both if the breaks down. When I can't come in for an extra shift during the week, I get aren't you're kids in college? Can't they drive themselves to school/work? Why can't you let them drop you off/pick you up? You need to get them a better car, so they don't depend on you so much? Really? As a single parent, unless you have about $20,000 to shell out to buy 2 decent used cars, and are willing to put them on and pay for their car insurance, STFU about what I do in my house and for my kids. I will always be there for them regardless of how old they get.
If someone shitty pushes back on you and tries to belittle your life in any way because you don't have kids, say "Just because you're bitter for falling for society's lie that you have to have kids and now regret having them doesn't mean you can push your consequences on me." 100% of ppl will say you're wrong, but you will have done psychic damage to them and most will avoid the topic with you in the future because they don't want to confront the thought of that question (and because they now hate you).
I was denied vacation over Christmas. I don't have children, but my mother was terminally ill and I wanted to spend her last Christmas with her. Denial reason was that others have kids and they need those time slots, even though I put my bid in first. I told them I'm not asking. I'm going, and I will not be in on these dates. Period. I was threatened with disciplinary action. I went anyway. Didn't get in trouble and no regrets. Mom died the following June.
I moved around a lot with my family as a kid and totally caught the travel bug. All I wanted was to find a nice guy who likes to travel. I never wanted kids, except for the feline type; We have 2, Casey and Alex. I've had co-workers look at me sideways for making that life choice. I look at them the same way when they state proudly that they've never left the state. Let me tell you, there's a huge, wonderful and beautiful world outside of Ohio.
Well, it's better for the environment not to travel. Then again, having kids is even worse for the environment than traveling is.
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Im with the person about school taxes. I dont have kids and will never have kids (I may adopt or foster at some point if it's financially feasible because kids need help) but I havent ever cared about school taxes being high or raised nor any other tax. That's doing your part for living in a society. I choose to spend my time not-having kids. You chose to spend your time having kids. Our time is equally valuable and it's a 'you' problem and poor decision making on your part if you feel otherwise.
At my husband's work place, no person without children in school age is allowed to take any days off in August. Like ever.
Why would they? As long as I have the option, I will take my vacation outside school vacation times. I don't want my vacation location full of annoying kids and their parents.
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I'm currently the only person at our office (approx. 12) who is unmarried and without kids. When I tell you it comes up way more than its comfortable when talking about leave and allowances, it's ridiculous.
Just for fun, start booking time off during school holidays so other cant book it off. They will come begging lol
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I knew someone (childfree) who had booked time off work for her holiday 8 months in advance. A week before she was due to go, her boss contacted her to cancel because someone else who had children wanted the same 10 days off work and she thought she had more rights to the time off because she had children and my friend didn't. She left that place, it wasn't the first time someone with children had been favoured over someone without children.
I live and work in an area where an employer cannot discriminate based on family status.... but some still try. I worked full time for 16 years before having kids. I would gladly work holidays for my coworkers so long as my family did not have plans (my mom worked in heathcare and sometimes our holiday dinners were not day of) but only on my terms. I have kids now and accept that just like my childhood, sometimes Christmas dinner will be on the 27th, it does not make it less special.
I was asked all the time to switch days so they could have holidays off so be w/ their kids. I told them it like to be w/ my family, too. "But you don't have any kids." "No, but I have parents. I have family I only get to see once or twice a year because of busy schedule." "But these are the precious years for my kids." "I don't know how many years I have left w/ my folks."
What i loke to say when aaked to look after someones kid "You've always told me how great being a parent is, so I wouldn't want to deny you any of that experience."
I don't have kids but a much younger sibling, and my mom was stuck really busy at work, and my grandmother has medical issues (her dad is just...no) and I was asked that If my grandmother couldn't pick her up, if I could with my work being close to her school and I said sure and let my boss know of that I may be the only option to get my sister home safely. My boss, being one to constantly leave work for personal things, appointments, take full weeks off to babysit her grandkids, etc, got mad at me because "my mom was prioritizing her job instead of mine and that mine was important too (my mom works in a doctor's office, I work in a call center...)" And told me no. I was prepared if my grandma couldn't, to just clock out and go. If I got fired for going and making sure my sister got home safe, so be it, then I'd know how "important" I actually am. Luckily my grandma could, but to this day I have a very different view of my job and their 'family-that-isnt-your-kids' views
To clarify, I don't drive, I walk, my sister's school was 1 hour away walking cause like Baymax, I am not fast, she got out at 2:30, I got off at 2:30. I asked to leave at 1 or 1:30 so I could be there in time. I wasn't asking for multiple hours off or a whole day off, just to shave an hour off for the sake of my sister's safety.
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Agree 100%. My coworker was always like this, she can't work Saturday, she has three sons. Youngest is 17 and oldest live halfway across the country. Also, I'm not free babysitter for my relatives, surprisingly.
If the coworker was hired with the understanding that they can't work Saturdays, then that is none of your business. Do you have the same problem with people who need days off every week for non-child related things? Do you hate students with Friday classes?
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Firstly, you are right, having children does Not give you the right to have better Working hours, better Holidays, etc. Still, children are an Essential Part of pure society and we need them at least in the Long run. So if you decide Not to have children i personally think (and i can Not make it any more clear: this ist my Personal opinion) you should contribute in some way in collectively "raising children". It is a moral and social decision weather you feel you have to do it, and Nobody should punish you for deciding against it, But i still think you would be wrong for deciding "Not to Help". And helping by covering the less Desired Shifts is an easy one. You still have to do it willingly of Course.
Sorry but I didn't have kids and I certainly don't want to help raise yours in any way possible. You had them, you raise them. Leave me out of it. Trust me the population won't suffer. Enough people pop out kids without making me responsible for it. I'm not wrong for not helping you deal with your decisions. You don't help deal with mine
Load More Replies... Looks like you are confusing "Avalibility" with "Obligation". Yes, in general, childfree people DO have a lot more avalibility. I absolutely HAVE to leave work no later than 16:15, so I can get to the kindergarden. Thats not an issue my childfree collegue has. Even if she has other obligations, they extremely rarely have anything to do with other people depending on her to keep them alive. However. That does not mean that she has any obligation or responsibility to cover for me. It means that I have a responsibility to make sure that I can leave on time, and to get a job where that is possible. Luckily I have a good job at a good company where none of this is an issue.
Excuse me, what? Do you personally know each and every one of their calendars, what they do outside work?
Load More Replies... The problem isn't your lack of children, it's your lack of surprise nobody gives a sh*t about you, you lazy narcissists.
Don't ask me to donate to your kid's school, school supplies, or anything else. I already pay more in taxes than you because I don't get child tax credits, so even if we have the same salary, you get to keep more of your paycheck. If you can't afford them, don't have them.
You benefit by others having children. The economy needs to have actively working people to support those too young or old to work. It’s that age group that pay the most taxes and do the actual work.
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Wow. Som of these blow my mind. Just consider. People with children had been child free once. They know both sides. So yeah. Parents are more tired then you are. And theyr personal choice benefits the whole society including you. If no one has children then there would be basicaly no economy by the time you are 50 and your screwed as well.
There are 7 billion people on this f*****g planet and that's too many already!
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At the risk of getting flamed on, since most of the internet is an echo chamber... Having pets is in no way equal to having kids. Also, you are INEVITABLY more available and less tired without kids than you would be with kids. However, that does NOT mean that 1) you can or should ever be devalued or taken advantage of by an employer, and 2) mean that you are somehow less than people who are parents. I speak from experience on all these counts, but my experience is just that, MINE. Uniquely mine. Me being a parent might make me more tired and unavailable than I would be without kids, but that doesn't mean non-parents don't fill their free time with other activities and obligations! Bottom line, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to people. We are all unique individuals. Stop trying to label people and conform them to your expectations!!
What the f. Who exactly do you think you are? When did parents have monopoly on being tired and unavailable just because they had unprotected sex? You need to come back down to earth, your ego is floating
Load More Replies... The employers who allow bosses to take advantage of workers without children are being unreasonable. Also employers who allow employees to use their kids as an excuse for everything are being unreasonable. Just being a working parent isn't unreasonable
Replace single or childless with the word retired and repost this thread
Load More Replies... I will not contribute this human catastrophe. Why would I want to doom a kid I don't know to a lifetime in an Idiocracy? To borrow a playground idiom: I'm taking my balls and I'm going home.
Did you see Idiocracy? Only the stupid had children. Smart people need to have children and raise good people.
Load More Replies... Also I would like to add, that not everyone is childless by choice. Imagine you're always expected to cover for colleagues with children and having to hear comments like "Try having children..." or some of the things mentioned above....makes it hurt even more when you being reminded of the fact, that you're not able to have a child.
This to me sounds like an employer issue. Whether you have kids or not, off the clock is off. You need more work done, hire more people. To the childless people casting aspersions on parents, and vice versa, all we're doing is helping the employer keep this charade going. We are the employees and regardless of what's at home, you deserve to be there when you've fulfilled your work commitments expected, not the ones added cause employers just need someone to do it. It doesn't matter if you are raising kids, animals, plants, you're a person. You can say no and you're worth leaving work for yourself.
I've been very lucky, in this sense, because my manager is also unmarried, and with no children, so she has never pushed that nonsense onto us.
Also, just because you choose to be childfree does NOT mean that you're not doing your "womanly duty" that "God put you on this earth to do". I absolutely detest hearing that one. Like, yeah, I'm totally gonna go ruin my already struggling mental health and financial situation to pop out a few kids because that's what females are "supposed" to do. Get real. Imma punch the next person who says that.
Don't you all see how your employer is pitting you against each other? This is about their planning, not yours. If someone is hired with the understanding that they can't do x (whether that is because of children or other reasons) it really isn't anyone else's business. When your boss even shares that, it is completely inappropriate and their way of shifting the blame for their problems onto the workers. You are letting them lead you away from the real problem.
I have had the opposite. I didn't want to work every time Karen needed time off for a family thing, which was every week or two. Not kids. Family. Grown people. When I asked for time off to go to something for one of my two kids, I got attitude. Everyone has family and just because those family are children, doesn't mean that they are less, or more, important.
I'm not child free, but I have 2 kids (18 and 20), both still live at home because they go to the local community college. My oldest has an old car, but between their alternating school schedules and part time work schedules, I choose to work weekends. That way I can accommodate one of them whether it be taking them to work, school, or both if the breaks down. When I can't come in for an extra shift during the week, I get aren't you're kids in college? Can't they drive themselves to school/work? Why can't you let them drop you off/pick you up? You need to get them a better car, so they don't depend on you so much? Really? As a single parent, unless you have about $20,000 to shell out to buy 2 decent used cars, and are willing to put them on and pay for their car insurance, STFU about what I do in my house and for my kids. I will always be there for them regardless of how old they get.
If someone shitty pushes back on you and tries to belittle your life in any way because you don't have kids, say "Just because you're bitter for falling for society's lie that you have to have kids and now regret having them doesn't mean you can push your consequences on me." 100% of ppl will say you're wrong, but you will have done psychic damage to them and most will avoid the topic with you in the future because they don't want to confront the thought of that question (and because they now hate you).
I was denied vacation over Christmas. I don't have children, but my mother was terminally ill and I wanted to spend her last Christmas with her. Denial reason was that others have kids and they need those time slots, even though I put my bid in first. I told them I'm not asking. I'm going, and I will not be in on these dates. Period. I was threatened with disciplinary action. I went anyway. Didn't get in trouble and no regrets. Mom died the following June.
I moved around a lot with my family as a kid and totally caught the travel bug. All I wanted was to find a nice guy who likes to travel. I never wanted kids, except for the feline type; We have 2, Casey and Alex. I've had co-workers look at me sideways for making that life choice. I look at them the same way when they state proudly that they've never left the state. Let me tell you, there's a huge, wonderful and beautiful world outside of Ohio.
Well, it's better for the environment not to travel. Then again, having kids is even worse for the environment than traveling is.
Load More Replies... Im with the person about school taxes. I dont have kids and will never have kids (I may adopt or foster at some point if it's financially feasible because kids need help) but I havent ever cared about school taxes being high or raised nor any other tax. That's doing your part for living in a society. I choose to spend my time not-having kids. You chose to spend your time having kids. Our time is equally valuable and it's a 'you' problem and poor decision making on your part if you feel otherwise.
At my husband's work place, no person without children in school age is allowed to take any days off in August. Like ever.
Why would they? As long as I have the option, I will take my vacation outside school vacation times. I don't want my vacation location full of annoying kids and their parents.
Load More Replies... I'm currently the only person at our office (approx. 12) who is unmarried and without kids. When I tell you it comes up way more than its comfortable when talking about leave and allowances, it's ridiculous.
Just for fun, start booking time off during school holidays so other cant book it off. They will come begging lol
Load More Replies... I knew someone (childfree) who had booked time off work for her holiday 8 months in advance. A week before she was due to go, her boss contacted her to cancel because someone else who had children wanted the same 10 days off work and she thought she had more rights to the time off because she had children and my friend didn't. She left that place, it wasn't the first time someone with children had been favoured over someone without children.
I live and work in an area where an employer cannot discriminate based on family status.... but some still try. I worked full time for 16 years before having kids. I would gladly work holidays for my coworkers so long as my family did not have plans (my mom worked in heathcare and sometimes our holiday dinners were not day of) but only on my terms. I have kids now and accept that just like my childhood, sometimes Christmas dinner will be on the 27th, it does not make it less special.
I was asked all the time to switch days so they could have holidays off so be w/ their kids. I told them it like to be w/ my family, too. "But you don't have any kids." "No, but I have parents. I have family I only get to see once or twice a year because of busy schedule." "But these are the precious years for my kids." "I don't know how many years I have left w/ my folks."
What i loke to say when aaked to look after someones kid "You've always told me how great being a parent is, so I wouldn't want to deny you any of that experience."
I don't have kids but a much younger sibling, and my mom was stuck really busy at work, and my grandmother has medical issues (her dad is just...no) and I was asked that If my grandmother couldn't pick her up, if I could with my work being close to her school and I said sure and let my boss know of that I may be the only option to get my sister home safely. My boss, being one to constantly leave work for personal things, appointments, take full weeks off to babysit her grandkids, etc, got mad at me because "my mom was prioritizing her job instead of mine and that mine was important too (my mom works in a doctor's office, I work in a call center...)" And told me no. I was prepared if my grandma couldn't, to just clock out and go. If I got fired for going and making sure my sister got home safe, so be it, then I'd know how "important" I actually am. Luckily my grandma could, but to this day I have a very different view of my job and their 'family-that-isnt-your-kids' views
To clarify, I don't drive, I walk, my sister's school was 1 hour away walking cause like Baymax, I am not fast, she got out at 2:30, I got off at 2:30. I asked to leave at 1 or 1:30 so I could be there in time. I wasn't asking for multiple hours off or a whole day off, just to shave an hour off for the sake of my sister's safety.
Load More Replies... Agree 100%. My coworker was always like this, she can't work Saturday, she has three sons. Youngest is 17 and oldest live halfway across the country. Also, I'm not free babysitter for my relatives, surprisingly.
If the coworker was hired with the understanding that they can't work Saturdays, then that is none of your business. Do you have the same problem with people who need days off every week for non-child related things? Do you hate students with Friday classes?
Load More Replies... Firstly, you are right, having children does Not give you the right to have better Working hours, better Holidays, etc. Still, children are an Essential Part of pure society and we need them at least in the Long run. So if you decide Not to have children i personally think (and i can Not make it any more clear: this ist my Personal opinion) you should contribute in some way in collectively "raising children". It is a moral and social decision weather you feel you have to do it, and Nobody should punish you for deciding against it, But i still think you would be wrong for deciding "Not to Help". And helping by covering the less Desired Shifts is an easy one. You still have to do it willingly of Course.
Sorry but I didn't have kids and I certainly don't want to help raise yours in any way possible. You had them, you raise them. Leave me out of it. Trust me the population won't suffer. Enough people pop out kids without making me responsible for it. I'm not wrong for not helping you deal with your decisions. You don't help deal with mine
Load More Replies... Looks like you are confusing "Avalibility" with "Obligation". Yes, in general, childfree people DO have a lot more avalibility. I absolutely HAVE to leave work no later than 16:15, so I can get to the kindergarden. Thats not an issue my childfree collegue has. Even if she has other obligations, they extremely rarely have anything to do with other people depending on her to keep them alive. However. That does not mean that she has any obligation or responsibility to cover for me. It means that I have a responsibility to make sure that I can leave on time, and to get a job where that is possible. Luckily I have a good job at a good company where none of this is an issue.
Excuse me, what? Do you personally know each and every one of their calendars, what they do outside work?
Load More Replies... The problem isn't your lack of children, it's your lack of surprise nobody gives a sh*t about you, you lazy narcissists.
Don't ask me to donate to your kid's school, school supplies, or anything else. I already pay more in taxes than you because I don't get child tax credits, so even if we have the same salary, you get to keep more of your paycheck. If you can't afford them, don't have them.
You benefit by others having children. The economy needs to have actively working people to support those too young or old to work. It’s that age group that pay the most taxes and do the actual work.
Load More Replies... Wow. Som of these blow my mind. Just consider. People with children had been child free once. They know both sides. So yeah. Parents are more tired then you are. And theyr personal choice benefits the whole society including you. If no one has children then there would be basicaly no economy by the time you are 50 and your screwed as well.
There are 7 billion people on this f*****g planet and that's too many already!
Load More Replies... At the risk of getting flamed on, since most of the internet is an echo chamber... Having pets is in no way equal to having kids. Also, you are INEVITABLY more available and less tired without kids than you would be with kids. However, that does NOT mean that 1) you can or should ever be devalued or taken advantage of by an employer, and 2) mean that you are somehow less than people who are parents. I speak from experience on all these counts, but my experience is just that, MINE. Uniquely mine. Me being a parent might make me more tired and unavailable than I would be without kids, but that doesn't mean non-parents don't fill their free time with other activities and obligations! Bottom line, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to people. We are all unique individuals. Stop trying to label people and conform them to your expectations!!
What the f. Who exactly do you think you are? When did parents have monopoly on being tired and unavailable just because they had unprotected sex? You need to come back down to earth, your ego is floating
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