This Twitter Thread Is All About Casual Sexism At Work, And 30 Women Join In Sharing Their Infuriating Examples
Unfortunately, everyday sexism is alive and well. Though progress continues to be made in terms of women’s rights, the fight doesn’t end: subtle, casual sexism rears its ugly head when we least expect it. Some men, for instance, still don’t believe that a woman can run a company.
Sports industry expert Cathy Long, the CEO of Aposto, went viral on Twitter after sharing an example of everyday sexism in the workplace. She explained how she missed a client meeting because she simply wasn’t invited to it. The client left her out because he thought she was “just doing the admin.”
Other women shared examples of workplace sexism from their own lives. Scroll down to read what they said, Pandas, and if you’re feeling up to it, you can open up about similar experiences that you had at work and elsewhere, in the comments.
More info: Twitter | Aposto.co.uk
Image credits: Cathy_TwoHalves
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With Cathy having over 20 years of experience working with Premier League football clubs, you’d expect that all of her clients would know who she was and at least give her the time of day.
Unfortunately, some guys still live in the past and don’t see women as their equals: they prefer dealing with other men. The result? It impacts women’s businesses. Look, at the end of the day, if the bottom line is one of the things that suffer as a result of sexism, something seriously needs to change.
Ones like this need followups ... the reactions and fallout. We need to know!
And you just lost my business/vote/support/FUNDING of your agenda, a*****e.
Experienced this in a college classroom of a very misogynistic professor. I would make a very valid point or observation, and he would give me the deer in the headlights look. A minute later, one of the idiot guys would repeat the exact same thing I just said—-VER👏 BA👏 TIM👏!!!—-and the prof would applaud HIM as a f*****g genius! If someone else, even another guy, pointed out that I had just said that and been ignored, the prof would give them the same deer in the headlights look I got. A*****e. Even his colleagues in the department agreed he was long overdue for being put out to pasture, and we’re actively trying by severely reducing his class load. Problem was that he had tenure and was impossible to boot out. Sad state of affairs for the students, especially the female students, who had to endure his class.
Very recently, Bored Panda spoke about sexism, misogyny, and toxic masculinity with a representative of the ‘Fight the Patriarchy’ Facebook page, as well as writer Ariane Sherine.
According to ‘Fight the Patriarchy,’ it’s vital to protect the “preborn rights” of everyone: “We don't have to choose, we can fight against all oppression."
refreshingly nice to hear someone speak up, say they made a mistake and have now learnt from it. bravo.
And get your f*****g hand off my leg, NOW, or I will be mailing it back to you. Pervert.
“A privileged group thinking they are superior to an underprivileged group is the core of social injustice. Each generation of privileged individuals get taught that they are somehow special and they continue on the oppression of the underprivileged," the representative of the ‘Fight the Patriarchy’ project shared with Bored Panda.
To be fair, if I got an email signed Kerri I would ask too unless they was an email signature "Dr Kerri Baker". How it's the recipient meant to know whether the writer is the doctor or a personal assistant?
Reminds me of this puzzle: A boy cuts his hand; he needs stitches so his dad takes him to the hospital. The doctor gets to work, sows up the hand and scolds the boy for being so careless; and scolds the dad, too. So, after they leave the nurse says to the doctor: "Nice kid. And good looking, too." "Of course he's good looking," says the doctor, "He is my son." - How can that be? Duh, the doctor is his mother.
I’m a certified non-attorney mediator, with a Masters Degree in Conflict Resolution. My husband has told me, time and time again, that some of the situations I’ve handled (for confidentiality reasons, I could not go into any detail with him, but if you say you’re mediating something like a divorce or child custody, it is implied that sometimes clients’ tempers can flare and they can get rather nasty) would make him fly over the table and beat the ever loving s**t out of some a*****e for being abusive. Basically, I am the one with the intellect, temperament, ability, education, and training to do a very difficult and delicate job that my husband (not a mediator, no college degree) would never be able to, yet there are people who would look past me as just “the wife” (if they even saw me at all), and look to HIM to help them with interpersonal problems.
"Whether we're talking about men acting superior to women, born humans acting superior to preborn humans, cishet individuals acting superior to LGBTQIA+ individuals, white folks acting superior to POC, humans acting superior to nonhuman animals, or able-bodied individuals acting superior to the disabled, what would need to change is each of these privileged groups being open to how they or their ideologies have harmed the underprivileged."
Ohhhh it's plenty illegal in the US but still gets asked.
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I was made to sign something at work about not becoming pregnant or intentions of having children. Safe to say I quickly moved jobs afterwards. Ended up getting pregnant after 2 years in that role and had intentions of staying on after the birth, but started getting treated so coldly after I announced my pregnancy that I didn’t go back after maternity leave. Now a stay at home mum trying to become a freelancer. Wish me luck!
Women are always asked about our plans for children. I've been told this multiple times over the last 30 years: I'm not worth investing in, training, hiring, whatever, because I'll just leave when I get pregnant. Note: I'm 50 and still childfree.
they also assume that women at a certain age must have childre and ask why you left them out of your CV... B*TCH even if i had children that's none of your f*ching business // EDIT: why is it still required to put your civil status and/or the number of your children in an CV?
I'm in the UK and I've honestly never put either of those things on a CV or seen them on other people's when looking for staff.
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It was still being asked in 2019 in Korea. My class of job seekers that summer consisted of 2 guys and the rest girls. The guys were SHOCKED at the amount of casual sexism the girls experienced daily
I don't know what country you are in, but here in the UK that type of question is illegal to ask.
It still happens though. I went to a pre-interview visit to a hospital department to look round, and the man escorting me asked me about my family and whether I was married or planning children. I told him that was irrelevant to my application and that he shouldn't be asking that sort of question. He said it was completely allowed because this was a casual conversation, not an interview situation. He was going to be sitting on the interview panel so it was very clear they were using the pre-interview visits to get round legalities .
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That is an illegal interview question in the US. It’s also illegal for secular employers to ask about your marital status.
I firmly believe that people need to know their rights, so I'm going to correct some misinformation here in the comments. For the record, I am FIRMLY AGAINST ASKING AT ALL. However, people need to know that it is not illegal in the U.S. to *ask* someone these questions; it is illegal to *base hiring decisions off of them*. So if you are asked this and immediately threaten a lawsuit, you will not automatically win. You have to prove that the company discriminated against your answer. It seems a slim difference, but if you're the one paying the lawyer to sue, then it's a pretty big difference. Most companies have *policies* against asking, because obviously it opens them up to a lawsuit, but that doesn't mean that the lawsuit will necessarily be open-and-shut, again, unless you can establish proof that they used it against you when hiring. More info: https://www.eeoc.gov/youth/pregnancy-discrimination-faqs#:~:text=Federal%20law%20does%20not%20prohibit,avoid%20these%20types%20of%20questions.
When I was first applying for law enforcement jobs, this was a common interview question for women. They all assumed we would finish the academy, start the job and poof! get pg. One department even called my engineer boyfriend, and asked him for his opinion about hiring me.
If you are in the USA you should know this is against the law and next time tell them that you will bring a lawsuit against them.
I had this happen so often I started "accidentally" dropping in job interviews that I'm infertile and I make up for not being able to have children by having a career. Any man had to do this? Men in my country get paternity leave too...
I'll be honest: when I was job hunting after grad school, I felt anxious to mention my future near plans include having a baby. I wasn't sure if I should say it or if it would bring up the issue of "she'll need maternity leave." I'm very lucky to have been hired by a job that not only has no qualms about it but are even supportively asking when we plan to have the baby.
I had a friend who wanted a baby and didn’t work and couldn’t afford it, so she got a job stayed for 6 months probation and fell pregnant for 2 years in a row. Not friends with her now but I get that it would be frustrating for a business if this is planned.
I understand that is illegal and intrusive but the potential enormous cost on an employer should be taken into account, in the uk as a small business paying for maternity and a replacement, and the being forced to offer flexible hours after the birth is a massive cost on a small business that few can afford...
Regardless, never ask someone you don't know for coffee unless they offer to get it for you. ITS BASIC MANNERS
According to ‘Fight the Patriarchy,’ true justice can only be achieved when people are “deprogrammed from the oppression they were raised to believe is ‘just how life works.’”
"Cismen need to be able to have an open mind and hear people out as well as tackle the prejudices that have been instilled in them by society. Capitalism, religion, white supremacy, patriarchy, born supremacy, and human supremacy are all detrimental power structures that have harmed vulnerable groups, but it doesn't have to be this way. The individuals who these systems benefit have to do the work to unpack that within themselves."
Oh, I've seen this happen. My vet was once called "little lady" by one of the older clients who was adamant on waiting for the male vet. Said "male vet" was actually a year 2 student intern... She's a saint for putting up with this c**p.
Meanwhile, writer Ariane said that, in her opinion, what lies at the core of sexism and misogyny is the fear of women’s power and resentment that they’re growing stronger.
“It's not as easy to subjugate us anymore. Of course, men still hold most of the power and wield male privilege, but they're being held to account more and more, and many of them aren't happy about this at all," she told Bored Panda.
This!! I (female) was once responsible for a project that culminated in a final meeting to brief out the results to 35 (male) managers. The MD (male) let everyone settle in then took my notes off me, said “I can take it from here” and asked me to go get coffee and bacon butties for everyone from the canteen.
That’s insubordination, so I hope you fired his a*s, and explained, in detail, exactly why.
There definitely has been some progress made towards greater gender equality in the past few decades, however, that doesn’t mean that the fight can ever stop.
“When my mum gave birth to me in 1980, she was expected by society to give up work and look after her kids. As a highly intelligent woman working as a university lecturer, having worked super-hard, prioritized her career and risen up the ranks until this point, this wasn't fair or right," writer Ariane told Bored Panda.
"This wouldn't be an expectation these days—jobs are held open for women and it's illegal to fire someone because they're pregnant," she added that it's also illegal not to hire someone in the first place just because they're pregnant.
Oh, yes. Not being subservient to a man is indeed aggressive. Why, his mother and sister would never act this way! /s
well Jo isn't a typical female name, but still, just to asume someone is/must be a man is just stupid. also do your f*cking homework and research who you're doing deals with... i hope she said "of course" only to come in the room a bit later to introduce herself to him "ah! XY nice to finally meet you after so many emails!"
And the client stood there, mouth agape, wondering how the world had changed with him left behind.
"There are more single women than ever and studies show we're happier than partnered women on average too. Women can have a baby without needing a partner, childcare is more widely available too, and only people stuck in the Dark Ages think less of women who work and put their kids in nursery," the writer shared her thoughts with us.
This happened when I was in the UK: all titles defaulted to me as "Mrs." Despite my username here, which is part of the joke of it, I hate "Mrs." So all of a sudden I'm being sent cards to "Mrs. George Glass," and nope. In the 2010s, this was still the assumption, and note: the men did not have automatic titles, so the cards would look like: "GEORGE GLASS [new line] MRS. JAN GLASS". So that's f****d. I do take great joy in correcting "Actually, it's doctor."
"However, Roe v. Wade being overturned was a devastating blow for women's reproductive rights and I truly feel for women of childbearing age in America right now. It's an incredibly regressive step and I hope they manage to reverse it," she said.
It’s like back in the day, when a highly trained professional woman would make the mistake of letting one of the guys find out she could type. Guess who would end up never getting to do the work she was educated and trained for, and be relegated to the position of secretary, while the guys got all the glory, promotions, and raises? Yeah, that’s how it used to be, girls. You really do NOT want to go back there, so you have to fight tooth and nail to keep what has already been achieved, and fight even harder to achieve more. You cannot rest on the laurels of those who came before you, because some a*****e is/group of assholes are out there ready to pull the rug out from under you the millisecond they can. They’ve already severely threatened Roe v Wade, so what more proof do you need?
Note: this post originally had 56 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
“We've taken great progressive strides from where we were in the 1950s when women were expected to be Stepford Wives, so in another 70 years, we may achieve parity with men. At least, that's my hope. And even if the fight against sexism is a constant, never-ending battle, it's one we must never concede."
A number of years ago, a friend was asked at an interview what sort of birth control she was using. She smiled at them and asked them the question instead. One of the men raised his eyebrow at her and said it was an inappropriate question. She responded, "Yes, highly inappropriate, and also illegal." Her next question was "To whom should I address my formal complaint?"
YES! wtf are people thinkig when they ask something like this
Load More Replies... When my partner and I were looking for a flat to buy, I was going to put in the whole upfront payment as my job payed better than his. The first state agent we spoke to did all this pitch about a mortgage based on foreign currency. He tried speaking too fast to skip over the confusing and dodgy bits. I kept asking him to clarify and he kept rolling his eyes, looking at my partner as if to say "what a thick lady you got here, man". Eventually I made him explain some parts of the scam and told him it sounded like fraud. He told me if I was unable to understand he'd speak to my partner, who was not understanding a word but he liked the attention so we had a major fight about it afterwards. We never spoke with the agent again and when I bought MY flat soon after I was the sole owner.
While these examples of obvious sexism are discouraging, I find the invisible sexism worse. They just quietly don't recognize you, don't pay you your worth, and act like they are treating you equally, and always get away with it.
Absolutely! Whenever I’m with my male partner, I just don’t exist at all. It’s infuriating!
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In grad school, after a lab one night, all of the women in the class began cleaning up while the men began packing up to leave, so I raised my voice and to invite the men to clean up the messes they helped to make. The professor later pulled me aside and I thought I was going to be reprimanded. She offered me a job. I got to direct those men for the rest of the year. :)
For what it's worth, it actually happens with women, too. It seems so crazy but (generalizing) older women often only want to speak to a man in charge, or talk to the male doctor, etc. There was a viral video not long ago of a Krazy Karen freaking out at a auto shop because she wanted to only speak to a man and only wanted a man working on her car. The video is really something. Sometimes women are worse because there's this shock. You kind of expect it from guys. Funnily enough, I find most older-over 65- men totally okay with it. It's middle management, middle-aged guys that are the worst.
Internalized misogyny is a helluva thing. My brother is a mechanic, and he learned from my grandmother, so he's always amused when someone her age would come in and refuse to believe that the women in the shop were just as capable of fixing her car. More than one has argued that "Men are naturally better" at auto repair and "everyone knows that!" There are plenty of men who believe this, too, but for the women, from his stories over the decades, it's almost always Boomers, or early-20s (sometimes with their daddies) who insist that men are the ones to fix cars.
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I am a college professor of English. I have written, edited, and published dozens of novels. My male colleague asked me how my picture book was selling. He assumed that, since I'm a woman, I only write for children. I also have ongoing issues with our Ed Tech who keeps attempting to mansplain how to use the software he's only just heard of. I took professional development classes on using said software and have been using it for 4 years. He knows this fact, but believes he knows more about it after "playing around" with it for the past week. 🙄
*gets bottle, glasses* FFS, WOMEN WHO TEACH ENGLISH/WRITE BOOKS DO NOT ALSO WRITE PICTURE BOOKS FOR KIDS. Picture books are a specific genre AND artistic endeavor with firm guidelines, and the authors of picture books are almost always _picture book authors_. Picture books are not throw-away weekend projects that ladies/moms/teachers do "to make extra money." They also require separate artists for illustrations, which also have firm guidelines. They are not light-and-easy "lesser" books. (For the record, we don't all love Jane Austen, either.)
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I work in IT. I did have many situations where people thought I'm IT assistant and asked for IT technician.
George does this. He loves pointing out to the sexist a*****e that the 22 year old gender-nonconforming woman in pigtails and a Red Dead Redemption t-shirt is the one who wrote the code for that particular program, and is one of the most talented people on the team. One of his longest-term colleagues started when he was a punk club kid in the 90s, with multiple earrings and spiky green hair. George and he worked together all the time because he was so freakin' talented. Interestingly, as George points out, he still gets way more complaints about "a girl!" on the team than he ever did about the punk guy with green hair and over-the-knee boots. And the punk guy is now a total Leather Daddy and he and George STILL love making sure that the nontrad IT folks get their chances. Company dinners are a whole lot of fun, too!
Load More Replies... makes me sick. Thankfully in our country (SA) this is illegal. Our parliament is something like 46% women and the president's cabinet (ministers) is 50% women.
Cute of you to think that discrimination being illegal means everyday sexism no longer exists. 🙄
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I have had two bottles of wine as thank you gifts addressed to Sally The Secretary'. I want to know why these people thought the secretary would have done their physical examination and subsequent surgery......I'm an orthopaedic surgeon.
I'm not sure what a quote from Arielle of "Fight the Patriarchy " speaking to Bored Panda was supposed to mean, (situated after number 12) something doesn't sound quite right, she said, "so you have problems of privileged people feeling superior to unprivileged humans, such as men feeling superior to women, born humans feeling superior to unborn humans..." Wait a minute- ??!? doesn't that sound like she is saying something anti abortion? Would seem unlikely coming from Fight the Patriarchy, but what with Roe v Wade I'm not sure what to think. Born humans are superior to unborn humans- fact. If you there was a fire and you could save a five year old child or a container of a thousand embryos, which one would you choose??!
A young man in a snappy suit and tie entered the place I work in downtown Taipei, a very well known brand name, and was directed to wait over there. Presently a young lady, early 30s, wearing a nice, informal green dress walked over and said, "Hello, who are you?" (It's more polite in Mandarin.) The guy got all snippety, "I'm here for a job interview. Is it any business of yours? I'm here to see the General Manager. My business is above your pay grade. What's your pay grade? What's your position?" She very pleasantly replied, "I'm the General Manager." The guy did have enough brain cells to figure out that the interview was already finished.
Here’s my story: I was in middle school and we were doing a football course for PE, was the only girl that actually participated. All the boys said I wouldn’t make it with out doing it wrong. Throughout the whole semester, coaches as using me as example and calling out all the boys for not doing it right. Got to choose my position and choose running back. Was used every time needed, even with the extras. Caught the ball and ran. Thanks to my long legs I got there in like 30 seconds to 1 min. After the course, before we went to volley ball (which I rocked once again) the boys that would make those jokes wouldn’t look me in the eyes. Been using that for the workouts my new coach has been making us do in basketball training. Doing pretty good for my first year, I think. Moral of the story: don’t let idiots define who you can be. They’re, well, idiots, and you’re a superstar. Push through that adversity, and come out stronger. 💜
Boss/owner of my my workplace once told me " tell one of those women to clean that toilet" 😲 This was in 2022!! I've just left that toxic hell hole last week.
Mark I hope you realize that this stuff happens all the time and make space in your new workplace for the women to speak, share ideas, etc. And make sure they get credit.
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I was in a call center doing software support for many years. A guy called with a software problem. It would've taken me 15 minutes to help him out. But instead, he insisted on speaking to a male. I transferred him to one of the new male employees who was still being trained in. Two hours later, the guy's problem still hadn't been resolved. It needed escalating to the IT Director... who was a woman, like me.
When I was working in escrow, we had a lot of male realtors who would only speak to my male boss. I was annoyed, so one day I put an end to it. Told those realtors I was the one who was actually writing the contracts, not my boss. No I'm not transferring you, you can tell me what you need.
It's funny, because a similar sounding word in French (escroc - but the final c is silent) means "crook". I had to look it up to know what it was.
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I wish I were just reading such content on 5000year old ancient scrolls, not here typed in electronic devices in 2022 🥹
in my office, the coper/fax machine/scanner is closest to my desk. so people are always asking me how to do XYZ. i'm like, idk go ask the IT guy. once has someone ask me if i could watch for a fax come in. i said i never pay attention to that thing, it goes off all the time. sorry buddy.
I was talking to a coworker about my bad habit of going to bed late. (I have depression and anxiety which makes it hard to take care of myself sometimes.) He couldn't understand why I don't just go to bed early, and said that he "gave up on women being logical long ago." Also, the copy machine was out of paper one time. I asked the same coworker if he had any paper. He did, and I asked for it. But he did not give it to me and insisted on changing the paper himself. Dude, I know how to change the paper. Sigh.
Over the years I have worked for and with people and have had people work for me. Never cared if they were women or men. Only cared if the person was competent and good to work with. Have had male and female doctors, vets, plumbers etc, same thing. Do not understand why people get wrapped up in if a person is in a certain role they have to be a specific sex.
The opposite happened in a big church in Canada. My ex was a pastor of a real small church. It was a conference. I was chatting with a woman, really nice. Then she asked if I was an elder or a pastor. Well my husband is a pastor. She didn't dare talk to me anymore, as if I was Saint Nicholas himself. Ehm I'm just a cartographer, the church is tiny and he does it all. I do not lead anything there. Really funny, cause in Holland it was the opposite. Some ppl would go slime to the holy man and I was just nothing to them.
Certified translator here. There is a diploma for that, plus a title given by my order. I once worked for the translation dept. of a major Canadian telecom company. A VP, on another floor, calls me into his office, hands me a paper and tells me without looking at me to type it in English. I said no, I'm not a glorified secretary, and left. He didn't work there very long.
My boss is a woman and we have a strong professional relationship. I never let her down and neither does she. One word and the job is done. As opposed to my male bosses, big ego bigger attitude. Always let me know how far they went to get a simple job done. I think women are good with management and social skills. Not all of them but still.
I worked for a retail chain and was automatically moved to the cosmetics department when the beauty advisor there quit. No one asked me, I was not given a choice, and when I brought it up with the manager (I literally knew two makeup items) they gave me this overall "you're a female" gesture and said "customers won't buy makeup from any guy we put over there." It was irritating then, though I'm lucky I was able to learn and adjust. I became very good but the fact that I was only put there due to the lack of females (and was also never included on truck days because that was only for the male employees to attend) always did not sit well. (And I didn't MISS truck days but it was the principle).
I got mad all over again just reading the column. We have not progressed enough if this is still happening. I am old enough th have been fired or denied jobs because I wouldn’t sleep with the old boss, was a military wife and therefore considered unstable, and denied a job I really wanted building jeeps because the tools we hung from the ceiling and I wasn’t tall l enough that 5’9” to reach up and pull it down. I hope every misogynist man misses out on great opportunities when they ask for the real Dr. Or the man lawyer
Hmm. Mostly I have been lucky, But I was spitting tacks (and still angry) when we borrowed money to make alterations to our house (in joint names). I HAD the money in a term deposit, held by the bank we were borrowing from, but discovered it was cheaper to borrow the money that to get it out of the term deposit. However, when we were given the loan, it was ALL in my husbands name Not even a mention of me! DH couldn't understand why I was livid!@
Took a car in for regular maintenance (oil/fluids change, tire rotation). When I got the car back, while driving out to access road (this was a dealership, LONG driveway), there was NOISE from right front tire. Drove back, the "technician" who'd done the "work" comes over irritated "What's wrong?" I told him, he pooh-poohed me, and I headed out again. Got on access road, got reoriented to get on highway home, noise is STILL there, I nope'd it back to the dealership got the lower level manager to ride in the car with me. He STOPPED the ride after 20 feet, took the car back to the service bay. The big boss manager sought me out, apologizing up & down - turns out the lug nuts weren't properly tightened on the front passenger side (of a front wheel drive car). A typical Texas frog strangling storm was headed in, and I would have driven right into it. My husband's remark was that he would have OWNED this (very large) dealership, had something happened, especially after my (con't)
TELLING them BEFORE I EVER LEFT THE PROPERTY. As a woman who has preferred "non-traditional" jobs (USMC helicopter electrician, telephone installation, armed security) over my 65 years, I no longer choose to do the down-&-dirty physically-demanding types of jobs. I'm still more capable than a lot of women (AND men) when figuring how to fix things. I RESENT being treated as a "little old lady", or worse, a "Karen", because I'm smart enough to see through bull$#!t.
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I do not agree with asking a woman about baby plans, but I also don't like the reason they don't ask men. It's because if their partner goes into labor, the men are expected to finish the work day and be back the next day so the employer doesn't need to worry about the man missing work. Both aspects of this need to be changed.
Many years ago I worked front office for a medical practice. Had a pharmaceutical rep try to walk by me to get to the docs. I went and "escorted" him back to the lobby. When he finally got to speak with the doctor he made a comment about 'the guard dog' stopping him. The doctor told him "then she's doing a good job". All the reps learned to be polite to the guard dog or they would be waiting a looooong time to speak with the doctor.
So many smug replies from the women, but I'd really like to see the men just publically taken down a peg with a direct, "Your casual sexism isn't welcome here. Go home and think about what an idiot you made yourself out to be in front of all these people. Grow up and be a proper man by morning ". You know, something blown up and mortifying that they'd never forget it and causally just do it again.
I had a terrible, horrible boss who just happened to be female. Every time she got off a meeting with a man that didn’t go so well, usually because she was a jerk or overconfident and ignorant, she would always say “he must just not like working with women.” I always wanted to reply, ‘Nope, you’re just terrible regardless of your gender.’ So glad I quit that job and haven’t spoken to her since.
Maybe, Shane, she was a jerk and angry because she'd spent her life being exposed to the type of actual sexism detailed here. How is it nobody has ever asked why "Karen" is so pissed and wants to talk to the manager? Maybe women get to middle age and just aren't willing to take it any more.
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Yes please think of those poor, poor men, who are on the defensive, after treating all the women like described in this post. Do you have any idea what it is like to be dismissed like these examples, day in, day out, for years of your life? And you expect women to be careful of your fragile male egos? Seriously??
Load More Replies... A number of years ago, a friend was asked at an interview what sort of birth control she was using. She smiled at them and asked them the question instead. One of the men raised his eyebrow at her and said it was an inappropriate question. She responded, "Yes, highly inappropriate, and also illegal." Her next question was "To whom should I address my formal complaint?"
YES! wtf are people thinkig when they ask something like this
Load More Replies... When my partner and I were looking for a flat to buy, I was going to put in the whole upfront payment as my job payed better than his. The first state agent we spoke to did all this pitch about a mortgage based on foreign currency. He tried speaking too fast to skip over the confusing and dodgy bits. I kept asking him to clarify and he kept rolling his eyes, looking at my partner as if to say "what a thick lady you got here, man". Eventually I made him explain some parts of the scam and told him it sounded like fraud. He told me if I was unable to understand he'd speak to my partner, who was not understanding a word but he liked the attention so we had a major fight about it afterwards. We never spoke with the agent again and when I bought MY flat soon after I was the sole owner.
While these examples of obvious sexism are discouraging, I find the invisible sexism worse. They just quietly don't recognize you, don't pay you your worth, and act like they are treating you equally, and always get away with it.
Absolutely! Whenever I’m with my male partner, I just don’t exist at all. It’s infuriating!
Load More Replies... In grad school, after a lab one night, all of the women in the class began cleaning up while the men began packing up to leave, so I raised my voice and to invite the men to clean up the messes they helped to make. The professor later pulled me aside and I thought I was going to be reprimanded. She offered me a job. I got to direct those men for the rest of the year. :)
For what it's worth, it actually happens with women, too. It seems so crazy but (generalizing) older women often only want to speak to a man in charge, or talk to the male doctor, etc. There was a viral video not long ago of a Krazy Karen freaking out at a auto shop because she wanted to only speak to a man and only wanted a man working on her car. The video is really something. Sometimes women are worse because there's this shock. You kind of expect it from guys. Funnily enough, I find most older-over 65- men totally okay with it. It's middle management, middle-aged guys that are the worst.
Internalized misogyny is a helluva thing. My brother is a mechanic, and he learned from my grandmother, so he's always amused when someone her age would come in and refuse to believe that the women in the shop were just as capable of fixing her car. More than one has argued that "Men are naturally better" at auto repair and "everyone knows that!" There are plenty of men who believe this, too, but for the women, from his stories over the decades, it's almost always Boomers, or early-20s (sometimes with their daddies) who insist that men are the ones to fix cars.
Load More Replies... I am a college professor of English. I have written, edited, and published dozens of novels. My male colleague asked me how my picture book was selling. He assumed that, since I'm a woman, I only write for children. I also have ongoing issues with our Ed Tech who keeps attempting to mansplain how to use the software he's only just heard of. I took professional development classes on using said software and have been using it for 4 years. He knows this fact, but believes he knows more about it after "playing around" with it for the past week. 🙄
*gets bottle, glasses* FFS, WOMEN WHO TEACH ENGLISH/WRITE BOOKS DO NOT ALSO WRITE PICTURE BOOKS FOR KIDS. Picture books are a specific genre AND artistic endeavor with firm guidelines, and the authors of picture books are almost always _picture book authors_. Picture books are not throw-away weekend projects that ladies/moms/teachers do "to make extra money." They also require separate artists for illustrations, which also have firm guidelines. They are not light-and-easy "lesser" books. (For the record, we don't all love Jane Austen, either.)
Load More Replies... I work in IT. I did have many situations where people thought I'm IT assistant and asked for IT technician.
George does this. He loves pointing out to the sexist a*****e that the 22 year old gender-nonconforming woman in pigtails and a Red Dead Redemption t-shirt is the one who wrote the code for that particular program, and is one of the most talented people on the team. One of his longest-term colleagues started when he was a punk club kid in the 90s, with multiple earrings and spiky green hair. George and he worked together all the time because he was so freakin' talented. Interestingly, as George points out, he still gets way more complaints about "a girl!" on the team than he ever did about the punk guy with green hair and over-the-knee boots. And the punk guy is now a total Leather Daddy and he and George STILL love making sure that the nontrad IT folks get their chances. Company dinners are a whole lot of fun, too!
Load More Replies... makes me sick. Thankfully in our country (SA) this is illegal. Our parliament is something like 46% women and the president's cabinet (ministers) is 50% women.
Cute of you to think that discrimination being illegal means everyday sexism no longer exists. 🙄
Load More Replies... I have had two bottles of wine as thank you gifts addressed to Sally The Secretary'. I want to know why these people thought the secretary would have done their physical examination and subsequent surgery......I'm an orthopaedic surgeon.
I'm not sure what a quote from Arielle of "Fight the Patriarchy " speaking to Bored Panda was supposed to mean, (situated after number 12) something doesn't sound quite right, she said, "so you have problems of privileged people feeling superior to unprivileged humans, such as men feeling superior to women, born humans feeling superior to unborn humans..." Wait a minute- ??!? doesn't that sound like she is saying something anti abortion? Would seem unlikely coming from Fight the Patriarchy, but what with Roe v Wade I'm not sure what to think. Born humans are superior to unborn humans- fact. If you there was a fire and you could save a five year old child or a container of a thousand embryos, which one would you choose??!
A young man in a snappy suit and tie entered the place I work in downtown Taipei, a very well known brand name, and was directed to wait over there. Presently a young lady, early 30s, wearing a nice, informal green dress walked over and said, "Hello, who are you?" (It's more polite in Mandarin.) The guy got all snippety, "I'm here for a job interview. Is it any business of yours? I'm here to see the General Manager. My business is above your pay grade. What's your pay grade? What's your position?" She very pleasantly replied, "I'm the General Manager." The guy did have enough brain cells to figure out that the interview was already finished.
Here’s my story: I was in middle school and we were doing a football course for PE, was the only girl that actually participated. All the boys said I wouldn’t make it with out doing it wrong. Throughout the whole semester, coaches as using me as example and calling out all the boys for not doing it right. Got to choose my position and choose running back. Was used every time needed, even with the extras. Caught the ball and ran. Thanks to my long legs I got there in like 30 seconds to 1 min. After the course, before we went to volley ball (which I rocked once again) the boys that would make those jokes wouldn’t look me in the eyes. Been using that for the workouts my new coach has been making us do in basketball training. Doing pretty good for my first year, I think. Moral of the story: don’t let idiots define who you can be. They’re, well, idiots, and you’re a superstar. Push through that adversity, and come out stronger. 💜
Boss/owner of my my workplace once told me " tell one of those women to clean that toilet" 😲 This was in 2022!! I've just left that toxic hell hole last week.
Mark I hope you realize that this stuff happens all the time and make space in your new workplace for the women to speak, share ideas, etc. And make sure they get credit.
Load More Replies... I was in a call center doing software support for many years. A guy called with a software problem. It would've taken me 15 minutes to help him out. But instead, he insisted on speaking to a male. I transferred him to one of the new male employees who was still being trained in. Two hours later, the guy's problem still hadn't been resolved. It needed escalating to the IT Director... who was a woman, like me.
When I was working in escrow, we had a lot of male realtors who would only speak to my male boss. I was annoyed, so one day I put an end to it. Told those realtors I was the one who was actually writing the contracts, not my boss. No I'm not transferring you, you can tell me what you need.
It's funny, because a similar sounding word in French (escroc - but the final c is silent) means "crook". I had to look it up to know what it was.
Load More Replies... I wish I were just reading such content on 5000year old ancient scrolls, not here typed in electronic devices in 2022 🥹
in my office, the coper/fax machine/scanner is closest to my desk. so people are always asking me how to do XYZ. i'm like, idk go ask the IT guy. once has someone ask me if i could watch for a fax come in. i said i never pay attention to that thing, it goes off all the time. sorry buddy.
I was talking to a coworker about my bad habit of going to bed late. (I have depression and anxiety which makes it hard to take care of myself sometimes.) He couldn't understand why I don't just go to bed early, and said that he "gave up on women being logical long ago." Also, the copy machine was out of paper one time. I asked the same coworker if he had any paper. He did, and I asked for it. But he did not give it to me and insisted on changing the paper himself. Dude, I know how to change the paper. Sigh.
Over the years I have worked for and with people and have had people work for me. Never cared if they were women or men. Only cared if the person was competent and good to work with. Have had male and female doctors, vets, plumbers etc, same thing. Do not understand why people get wrapped up in if a person is in a certain role they have to be a specific sex.
The opposite happened in a big church in Canada. My ex was a pastor of a real small church. It was a conference. I was chatting with a woman, really nice. Then she asked if I was an elder or a pastor. Well my husband is a pastor. She didn't dare talk to me anymore, as if I was Saint Nicholas himself. Ehm I'm just a cartographer, the church is tiny and he does it all. I do not lead anything there. Really funny, cause in Holland it was the opposite. Some ppl would go slime to the holy man and I was just nothing to them.
Certified translator here. There is a diploma for that, plus a title given by my order. I once worked for the translation dept. of a major Canadian telecom company. A VP, on another floor, calls me into his office, hands me a paper and tells me without looking at me to type it in English. I said no, I'm not a glorified secretary, and left. He didn't work there very long.
My boss is a woman and we have a strong professional relationship. I never let her down and neither does she. One word and the job is done. As opposed to my male bosses, big ego bigger attitude. Always let me know how far they went to get a simple job done. I think women are good with management and social skills. Not all of them but still.
I worked for a retail chain and was automatically moved to the cosmetics department when the beauty advisor there quit. No one asked me, I was not given a choice, and when I brought it up with the manager (I literally knew two makeup items) they gave me this overall "you're a female" gesture and said "customers won't buy makeup from any guy we put over there." It was irritating then, though I'm lucky I was able to learn and adjust. I became very good but the fact that I was only put there due to the lack of females (and was also never included on truck days because that was only for the male employees to attend) always did not sit well. (And I didn't MISS truck days but it was the principle).
I got mad all over again just reading the column. We have not progressed enough if this is still happening. I am old enough th have been fired or denied jobs because I wouldn’t sleep with the old boss, was a military wife and therefore considered unstable, and denied a job I really wanted building jeeps because the tools we hung from the ceiling and I wasn’t tall l enough that 5’9” to reach up and pull it down. I hope every misogynist man misses out on great opportunities when they ask for the real Dr. Or the man lawyer
Hmm. Mostly I have been lucky, But I was spitting tacks (and still angry) when we borrowed money to make alterations to our house (in joint names). I HAD the money in a term deposit, held by the bank we were borrowing from, but discovered it was cheaper to borrow the money that to get it out of the term deposit. However, when we were given the loan, it was ALL in my husbands name Not even a mention of me! DH couldn't understand why I was livid!@
Took a car in for regular maintenance (oil/fluids change, tire rotation). When I got the car back, while driving out to access road (this was a dealership, LONG driveway), there was NOISE from right front tire. Drove back, the "technician" who'd done the "work" comes over irritated "What's wrong?" I told him, he pooh-poohed me, and I headed out again. Got on access road, got reoriented to get on highway home, noise is STILL there, I nope'd it back to the dealership got the lower level manager to ride in the car with me. He STOPPED the ride after 20 feet, took the car back to the service bay. The big boss manager sought me out, apologizing up & down - turns out the lug nuts weren't properly tightened on the front passenger side (of a front wheel drive car). A typical Texas frog strangling storm was headed in, and I would have driven right into it. My husband's remark was that he would have OWNED this (very large) dealership, had something happened, especially after my (con't)
TELLING them BEFORE I EVER LEFT THE PROPERTY. As a woman who has preferred "non-traditional" jobs (USMC helicopter electrician, telephone installation, armed security) over my 65 years, I no longer choose to do the down-&-dirty physically-demanding types of jobs. I'm still more capable than a lot of women (AND men) when figuring how to fix things. I RESENT being treated as a "little old lady", or worse, a "Karen", because I'm smart enough to see through bull$#!t.
Load More Replies... I do not agree with asking a woman about baby plans, but I also don't like the reason they don't ask men. It's because if their partner goes into labor, the men are expected to finish the work day and be back the next day so the employer doesn't need to worry about the man missing work. Both aspects of this need to be changed.
Many years ago I worked front office for a medical practice. Had a pharmaceutical rep try to walk by me to get to the docs. I went and "escorted" him back to the lobby. When he finally got to speak with the doctor he made a comment about 'the guard dog' stopping him. The doctor told him "then she's doing a good job". All the reps learned to be polite to the guard dog or they would be waiting a looooong time to speak with the doctor.
So many smug replies from the women, but I'd really like to see the men just publically taken down a peg with a direct, "Your casual sexism isn't welcome here. Go home and think about what an idiot you made yourself out to be in front of all these people. Grow up and be a proper man by morning ". You know, something blown up and mortifying that they'd never forget it and causally just do it again.
I had a terrible, horrible boss who just happened to be female. Every time she got off a meeting with a man that didn’t go so well, usually because she was a jerk or overconfident and ignorant, she would always say “he must just not like working with women.” I always wanted to reply, ‘Nope, you’re just terrible regardless of your gender.’ So glad I quit that job and haven’t spoken to her since.
Maybe, Shane, she was a jerk and angry because she'd spent her life being exposed to the type of actual sexism detailed here. How is it nobody has ever asked why "Karen" is so pissed and wants to talk to the manager? Maybe women get to middle age and just aren't willing to take it any more.
Load More Replies... Yes please think of those poor, poor men, who are on the defensive, after treating all the women like described in this post. Do you have any idea what it is like to be dismissed like these examples, day in, day out, for years of your life? And you expect women to be careful of your fragile male egos? Seriously??
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