Woman Says She Can’t Forgive Husband For Their Wedding Day, Even After 3 Months, Asks For Advice
Your wedding day is supposed to be one of the most beautiful moments of your life, filled with love, joy, and hope for the future.
But Reddit user Samisintrouble remembers hers with a heavy heart and tears in her eyes.
The woman made a post on the subreddit ‘Am I Wrong?‘ explaining that it’s been a few months after the ceremony but she still can’t forgive her husband for the way he behaved and remains torn between wanting to end the relationship and trying to make it work.
Getting cold feet before the wedding is totally normal
Image credits: Felipe Bustillo (not the actual photo)
But this woman continues to have doubts about her marriage even months after she tied the knot
Image credits: Annie Spratt (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Aneta Voborilova (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)
Image credits: samisintrouble
Familial tension is present at many weddings
“I’m afraid to say that as a wedding planner, handling challenging family dynamics has become part of my regular ‘job role,’ whether it be due to separated, divorced, or estranged family members,” Lisa Burton, the founder and head planner at The Bridal Consultant, told Bored Panda.
To minimize the chance of potential conflicts, Burton often consults with couples on ways to handle this beforehand.
“Common problems are the top table and who will sit on it (or not), finances—specifically, who pays for what if family members are contributing—and one you might not immediately think of, but is quite common with blended families, is a very large and complex guest list,” she explained. “The couple might have to decide who they can [and cannot] afford to invite.”
“One instance that comes to mind is a couple that needed an extra-long top table so they could include all their parents and their new partners,” Burton recalled. “Not necessarily an issue unless you have a venue too small to accommodate it. In the end, the couple opted for a sweetheart table to sit alone, as they simply couldn’t decide who to place where without upsetting someone.”
“Another time, we had a very small wedding with only 20 guests; the family just didn’t get on, so we ended up with 5 or 6 separate tables at the reception, as the bride was worried there would be an altercation or fight at the reception,” she added.
The groom from the Reddit post could have definitely handled things with more compassion towards his wife.
“To get married in the first place, you would hope one has a healthy partnership with mutual trust, good open communication, and of course, respect,” Burton said. “If you have these, then working out how to manage family expectations during the wedding, while not necessarily easy, should be achievable. I find issues only arise when one of the above is missing.”
Lisa, who has planned over 1,400 weddings abroad, suggests partners discuss ahead what each of them wants, approach the big day unified, and communicate with respect. “That way, you’ll probably find your families are more than happy to oblige.”
Hopefully, the author of the post will find the courage to confront the situation head on
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
But once you’re married, in-laws become a hard-to-avoid part of your life. Plus, as we can see from the Reddit story, chances are your spouse is quite fond of their family, meaning that you will have to find ways to get along with them.
According to Billie Tyler, who is a licensed marriage and family therapist, ignoring a problem until it goes away is not a good answer for any issue, including those with your in-laws.
“Turning the other cheek can seem like an easier choice for many. However, it’s kind of like kicking the can down the road. Eventually, someone would reach a big pile of cans that they have to climb over,” Tyler said.
“If you’re struggling with your in-laws, you may want to actually lean into the discomfort and try and put yourself in their shoes.”
The therapist believes that empathy really is your best option to create a path toward harmony. “Time must be spent to try and understand the perspective of each person involved. Curiosity and empathy must be the lead in all pursuits of peace. If everyone can feel understood, there is more room for flexibility and change to happen in these relationships,” she explained.
So it sounds like the author of the original post should confront the situation sooner rather than later. But considering everyone else’s apathetic stance, her fear and hesitation are certainly understandable.
People who read the woman’s story were very supportive of her
You're so right. People post on those subreddits asking for help and opinions. It must be horrible for someone like OP to find their post shown off on a completely different website like this. BP should refrain from such posts in general.
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Oh dear. This is heartbreaking. I hope OP can gather the strength to leave this spoiled man-child and find someone who treats her with the respect she deserves. Things are not going to get better and it would be a huge mistake to bring a child into such a toxic environment. Move on now, OP. Be prepared for MIL to turn nasty because nobody throws a tantrum like a narcissist who has lost control of someone else's mind. Get. Out. Now.
What an insane thing to do. Sounds like the mother exerts complete control over him and he will take all his hate out on the wife. She needs to leave. He needs major therapy
No amount of therapy will fix him. He's a mommas boy and always will be. She should've left the ring and an empty house for him to come home to. Correction, just an empty house. Annul the wedding and find a real man.
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Oh boy, if I'd have been at this wedding as a guest from OPs side, I'd have torn that big Mama's bebe a new arsehole. What a total wiener!
Other people's lives..I can't imagine a world where this is acceptable behavior amongst family. It's a good way to never see me again.
We need an update immediately. I have to know that she left this loser.
Why would she even marry this guy in the first place? He made it perfectly clear that his mom would always come first.
I hope OP wises up and moves on with her life. That man she married has all the sensitivity of a pet rock. His family will always come first; a total stranger will get priority over her. She will have no control over her life, as his family will interfere at every turn. She needs to hand back the rings, pack her things, and head out. If she thought the wedding was bad, imagine getting pregnant. She needs to stop this nightmare before it comes to fruition.
OP, please leave him ASAP. This will never get better. Hugs to you + you can do this! You're stronger than mummy's boy + mummy!
I think that stories or problems concerning non-western cultures, should not be published in BP. It's infuriating to read them. Women without own will, treated like merchandise or slaves of MIL. Grown men obeying the pater familias. I hate all this.
Its a way to learn about other cultures. I have a friend from Argentina who called off her engagement to an Asian man for the same reason.
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Get that wedding annulled and get on your own two feet. He's not gonna change. You are older and wiser with a strong family to support you. What his family did is rude beyond anything. And they won't change. Stop crying and start planning a new life. He isn't worth the drama from your heart. You even said if you weret married you would have left.
wow, she married him with the belief that he had changed and would be her partner, only to find that he couldn't cut the cord and abandoned her on their wedding day! a day that's supposed to be just for the two of them. i hope she leaves and finds someone who can truly appreciate her.
get out. get the jebus out of that marriage. That is so awful, I would be furious. Would literally turn around and say 'annulment?'
I can't really understand any of this. Too much of cultural gap. Living at your in-laws? How does that work? You stay until they die? Multiples generations and families live in the same dwelling just because? How is this expected? This mother in law deserve to be hit in the face with a book
Girl, you haven't been traumatized, YOU ARE ANGRY. That's what it feels like. Own your feelings and leave this manipulative a*****e. Sure, he's sorry and he regrets it until the next time what you want and what Mom wants are different. Get out before you get pregnant. You are worth more than this.
Pretty sure she’ll be murdered if she leaves the husband. Sounds like a controlling manipulative wife murdering psycho who cannot stand up to his parents.
You're so right. People post on those subreddits asking for help and opinions. It must be horrible for someone like OP to find their post shown off on a completely different website like this. BP should refrain from such posts in general.
Load More Replies... Oh dear. This is heartbreaking. I hope OP can gather the strength to leave this spoiled man-child and find someone who treats her with the respect she deserves. Things are not going to get better and it would be a huge mistake to bring a child into such a toxic environment. Move on now, OP. Be prepared for MIL to turn nasty because nobody throws a tantrum like a narcissist who has lost control of someone else's mind. Get. Out. Now.
What an insane thing to do. Sounds like the mother exerts complete control over him and he will take all his hate out on the wife. She needs to leave. He needs major therapy
No amount of therapy will fix him. He's a mommas boy and always will be. She should've left the ring and an empty house for him to come home to. Correction, just an empty house. Annul the wedding and find a real man.
Load More Replies... Oh boy, if I'd have been at this wedding as a guest from OPs side, I'd have torn that big Mama's bebe a new arsehole. What a total wiener!
Other people's lives..I can't imagine a world where this is acceptable behavior amongst family. It's a good way to never see me again.
We need an update immediately. I have to know that she left this loser.
Why would she even marry this guy in the first place? He made it perfectly clear that his mom would always come first.
I hope OP wises up and moves on with her life. That man she married has all the sensitivity of a pet rock. His family will always come first; a total stranger will get priority over her. She will have no control over her life, as his family will interfere at every turn. She needs to hand back the rings, pack her things, and head out. If she thought the wedding was bad, imagine getting pregnant. She needs to stop this nightmare before it comes to fruition.
OP, please leave him ASAP. This will never get better. Hugs to you + you can do this! You're stronger than mummy's boy + mummy!
I think that stories or problems concerning non-western cultures, should not be published in BP. It's infuriating to read them. Women without own will, treated like merchandise or slaves of MIL. Grown men obeying the pater familias. I hate all this.
Its a way to learn about other cultures. I have a friend from Argentina who called off her engagement to an Asian man for the same reason.
Load More Replies... Get that wedding annulled and get on your own two feet. He's not gonna change. You are older and wiser with a strong family to support you. What his family did is rude beyond anything. And they won't change. Stop crying and start planning a new life. He isn't worth the drama from your heart. You even said if you weret married you would have left.
wow, she married him with the belief that he had changed and would be her partner, only to find that he couldn't cut the cord and abandoned her on their wedding day! a day that's supposed to be just for the two of them. i hope she leaves and finds someone who can truly appreciate her.
get out. get the jebus out of that marriage. That is so awful, I would be furious. Would literally turn around and say 'annulment?'
I can't really understand any of this. Too much of cultural gap. Living at your in-laws? How does that work? You stay until they die? Multiples generations and families live in the same dwelling just because? How is this expected? This mother in law deserve to be hit in the face with a book
Girl, you haven't been traumatized, YOU ARE ANGRY. That's what it feels like. Own your feelings and leave this manipulative a*****e. Sure, he's sorry and he regrets it until the next time what you want and what Mom wants are different. Get out before you get pregnant. You are worth more than this.
Pretty sure she’ll be murdered if she leaves the husband. Sounds like a controlling manipulative wife murdering psycho who cannot stand up to his parents.
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