“Gifting In America Has Become Insane”: Woman Shares Her New Gift Strategy For Christmas
Interview With Author
The most wonderful time of the year is almost upon us, dear pandas! And with that, in many cultures, it means it’s time for the gift hunt! Toys for the kids, knit sweaters from the grandparents, and the classic holiday candle that trumps all.
However, the ever-more-present movement of minimalism has reached the gift-giving season as well. Some people are trying to figure out more planet-friendly ways of sharing the holiday cheer. Others want to give their loved ones presents without breaking the bank. One redditor has had enough. They shared their strategy for this Christmas to make gift-giving more sustainable for the planet and for people’s finances.
Bored Panda got in touch with the author of this post, Somanycatsinhere. We had a chat with her about what inspired her to make these holidays a no-gift season. Also, she shared some advice for people who are looking to start this tradition in their families.
Most Western cultures associate the holiday season with excessive gift-giving
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual photo)
One redditor shared their frustration with gifting items that end up unused or given to somebody else
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Maria Lin Kim (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Somanycatsinhere
The Redditor behind the post says the idea came to her because of the ever-rising consumerism in America
Somanycatsinhere tells us how she came up with the gift strategy for this Christmas. “I finished my degree in Marketing in 2013 and decided not to go into that field for ethical reasons – playing into people’s trauma and thoughts to sell a product always felt dirty to me.”
Just like she mentioned in her post, she thinks that gifting traditions are becoming more and more insane. “Recently, consumerism has gotten out of control, and I found myself falling into spending money due to the marketing of the product, personal feelings for the product, or to impress people.”
The Redditor had enough when she saw that the items donated to Goodwill don’t get that second life like their marketing promises. “The final straw was trying to donate some items that were nearly new to Goodwill, just to see them literally shoveling stuff out of donation bins into a dumpster. I knew it was time for a change in my consumerism habits,” the author of the post admits.
Don’t be afraid to broach the subject with your family members – maybe some of them already have stirrings of the same idea
Getting family members to cooperate with a no-gift policy might be the hardest part of this new trend. Somanycatsinhere says she wasn’t so worried about the reactions from the adults in the family. It was the younger family members that she was more worried about.
The conversation also wasn’t as difficult as one would expect. “I explained my [reasoning] behind the shift and it turned out many of my siblings felt the same way!” the Redditor gushed.
“The younger kids won’t understand it for some time, but I’m sure they will appreciate it in the future. The older generation in my family all expressed how they wished they had thought of it when their grandchildren were small.”
That’s why the Redditor says not to be so intimidated by introducing the idea to your family. You never know – maybe some family members are already thinking about it. Somanycatsinhere gives some advice: “Explain your ‘why’ to family members and always make sure to still give a card with a handwritten note explaining the gift or recognizing it.”
“Make sure to follow through with the gift. For example: if you’re gifting a night of babysitting, offer multiple times to schedule it. Don’t make it a chore for the receiver!”
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Here are some tips on how to let the people in your life know you no longer want to receive gifts
Perhaps the most difficult thing minimalists and zero-waste proponents face is the attitudes of other people. And by that, I don’t mean casually making jokes or occasional jabs. It’s that when it comes to issues like gift-giving, others still try to give you stuff that you essentially don’t want.
Zero-waste blogger Anne Marie Bonneau, the creator of the Zero-Waste Chef blog, refers to unwanted gifts as “landfill in transition”. She has some tips for people who are looking for ways to let their loved ones know they no longer want to receive gifts.
Tell your loved ones explicitly that you no longer want to be receiving gifts. If it’s a party of some kind and there are invitations, include the “No Gifts Please” policy in it.
If people are willing to listen, explain why you opted to not want gifts. Maybe you don’t have space in your home, maybe the kids just have too many toys they toss into the corner and don’t play with. Perhaps you don’t have the budget for gift-giving yourself, so receiving will just make you feel awkward. Ideological reasons are valid as well – turning your life around to be plastic-free or zero-waste, for example.
This third suggestion may backfire, but it’s still worth a try. Few people like it when they’re told what to do, but try telling them how this might benefit them. It’s easier on the wallet and saves them the effort and stress of rushing to the shops during the holiday frenzy.
If your friends and family come back with the classic “It’s Christmas! We have to give you something”, give them some alternatives that work for you. Time spent together, a homemade meal and even cash can be gifts as well. Just as commenters pointed out under the OP’s post, buying bonds or stocks for kids pays off well in the future. Bonneau recalls how she bought her daughter Microsoft stock with money people gifted her for birthdays. 19 years later, it paid for a whole semester of university.
This next piece of advice requires some compromise on your part. Not all people might listen and agree to stop giving gifts. There’s no use trying to change someone’s opinions. Simply accept and thank them for the gift.
And on a related note – don’t start pushing your opinions and values on other people. “You won’t win any supporters if you judge people,” says Bonneau.
Image credits: Valeria Boltneva (not the actual photo)
Commenters praised the OP for their sustainable approach to Christmas
Other readers shared tips on how to buy practical gifts and avoid waste
People continued sharing their personal experiences and gave other ideas for potential gifts
This may be unpopular, but we give money to our daughters, to each other and to my in laws. I would rather than, than give tat that would end up in a landfill somewhere. It works for us and the recipients are happy with getting money. It allows them to either save it for a rainy day or spend it on something that they wouldn't normally buy for themselves. It's a win-win situation for us.
we Chinese people do that too. We just give each other money for all the occasions, birthdays, new year, weddings... we don't do gifts. you don't know what they want anyways
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Modern gift-giving culture reached peak absurd long ago. What happened to 'it's the thought that counts', or 'it's better to give than to receive?'
My family can't help but buy mountains of useless garbage every year for xmas and bdays. So, I smile, say thank you, and then the local Salvation Army gets lots of unused items and clothes about a month later. I tried telling them no or that I don't want anything but they don't care. So it's better to keep the peace and let them donate to charity indirectly.
This is my first Xmas back with the family in 30+ years and nobody will tell me if we are marking it with presents or not. I'm going to get the old folks stuff - one is a bracelet given to me that I refuse to wear and the other is a cute brooch that I got suckered into paying over the odds by Poppy Appeal. Dad gets a puzzle. Brother and husband a bit tougher to think about.
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Our neighbourhood does a 'recycle santa'. You bring toys, books and games your kids dont play with anymore, you get points and with those point you pick out toys other parents brought in. Some things still look brand new, others don't, but young kids dont notice. Much less waste.
If I was given the gift to fill my shopping trolley in a supermarket I would be sobbing with thanks and delight as I went round the supermarket getting what I need.
My grandchildren have plenty of books and toys. About 3-4 Christmases ago, I came up with a gift idea for each of my nine grandchildren: a magazine subscription. They each pick their own magazine - with their parents' permission, of course. They get a gift every month, and each year they can continue the same magazine for another year, or choose a different one. (Kids do age out of certain magazines.) And what kid doesn't like getting their own mail?
I don't understand why we have to limit giving gifts and saying thanks to one day a year. If I see something for someone that I know they'll really like, I get it for them. If they don't want for anything, I'll bake something. Food is always appreciated, even if it is very temporary. You know your families best, just go according to that. Not everything needs to be a spectacle.
I work in the language services and linguistic research fields which unfortunately do not pay as well as they should despite the insane list of credentials we need. Thus, the holidays are not the happiest of times for me as I feel under constant pressure to purchase material items for loved ones when I'm an overworked researcher. I am really into landscape and nature photography as a hobby and used to print out my images and frame them-- I tried to always pick photos that would resonate with the person. However, my stepmum never seemed to care for my home-made gifts which hurt like hell. She always was into material items and I really don't want to spend the holidays with my father and stepmum anymore because of that. I shouldn't feel obligated to bankrupt myself to buy someone a lavish gift. Many of my most cherished gifts have been beautiful items that friends have made for me.
If she doesn't respect what you've worked hard to make, then she doesn't deserve it. Spend your energy and talents on the people you know who will appreciate it!
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I have started giving all of my nieces and nephews books for Xmas. I have a big family and some younger siblings who might still have kids too and I just can't afford to spend a ton of money every year. Books are useful, all kids in school need them, and I still spend a lot of time trying to find something that suits their personalities. Also, easy to exchange if they don't like it or donate when finished. Under 5 years may still get a small gift since they can't read, but I always ask their parents what they NEED. When they start driving I will probably switch to gas gift cards.
Putting money into a child's college fund can just be the same as throwing money away on gifts that get donated or unused... instead, I would suggest some kind of CD or other money growing venture that they can access when they turn 18 or other adult age you are comfortable with... not every 18yo is an adult.
The thing is if they don't want to go to college they could use it for other things and if they do it's really really helpful
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what my friends and i have started is elfster lists with things we need that are either a little bit silly or expensive because they support fair wages or a charitable cause or both. one friend wanted dryer static balls, but cute ones that were handmade by someone local. another wanted higher end, more sustainable coffee. another wanted a zoo membership so they could reduce the cost of many many visits with their kids. all the parents give us kids sizes, favorite characters, and what is going to be needed for school/club/activity/sport for the year; this way they can open something, but it needed and helps cut down costs for their parents. we got older and just said screw surprises. there are things we want and need and who decided that we can't ask for it as adults?
I do exactly this! I give things that will be used or eaten. A nice basket with yummy food, vouchers for car washes / gas, nice shower gel, selfmade jam, a block of parmesan cheese, wine, tea or ground coffee... There are so many useful things that won't end up in a landfill
We celebrate "Sinterklaas" in the Netherlands on December 5th. Santa Claus is based on this children's festivity. When the children get older, we have them make "surprises": the gift itself is small but the way you make fun of it is by designing something like a big doll from waste material. It's lots of fun. Many adults still do it that way. My children have reached a new stage in this: we invite lots of friends and play a detective game together. I buy small but useful presents like woollen socks, candles etc, that they can win in the game. However, at the end, everyone who won more than 2 gifts has to give away the surplus to someone with less than 2 gifts. Everybody happy :).
My family spends little or nothibg for bdays and xmas, instead spending the money on experiences or meals out when we visit each other. Memories are much more valuable than stuff.
"Potlatch" is a gift-giving feast practiced by Indigenous peoples of the Pacific Northwest of the United States. A potlatch involves giving away or destroying wealth or valuable items in order to demonstrate a leader's wealth and power. Ever since then, people have bankrupted themselves in competing to give the most extravagant gifts. Whoever gives the most away is proclaimed the winner.
We realised a few years ago that my sister in law and her husband have everything they need, we do likewise. The one thing we don't have is much time together. So every year, we take them somewhere, and they take us somewhere. It might only be a two night city break, but we all enjoy it greatly. And kids get to an age where they would much rather have money or gift cards. I used to buy my Nan meat for her little freezer, appreciated by someone who lived through the war. Grown ups get consumables, either specialities or home made. (I've just made a batch of medlar jelly, and there will be medlar liqueur). Everyone is happy with this, as one of the contributors said, there was audible relief from the rest of the family
When I worked in an ER, we had the best manager. For Christmas, one year she bought a bunch of good wool socks and we got to choose which color we wanted. Another year, it was a basket of unique coffee mugs, one per person, and another year, a choice of either a bag of good coffee or box of tea. They were all practical gifts and everyone got the same thing. No waste. She was always thoughtful.
If you don't want it. Give it to those who need it. Give to a charity, for them to sell. Or sell it on TradeMe or eBay.
I don't have this problem. My family and I get lots of gifts and give each other a lot of gifts too and we use every one of them. We grew up to appreciate everything and not waste anything.
It may be different for close families, especially w/kids, but I don't have either & my biggest yearly expense was office gifts. When COVID hit & we worked from home for almost 2 years, I started the tradition of doing a charity donation & sending a notification on a mass email, including my friends, most of whom live in other states/countries. These are charities I had sent $10 or $20 before so it was good to expand. I've kept it up, so now I send about $200. My note to the office & pals reads something like: "Instead of some trinket you don't want or need, on your name this year 2 people will get their vision back, 1 girl will attend school & a community will get water." It's good karma for everyone. I don't make much $$$, but for some charities even a small contribution can make a huge difference. If you need ideas, $50 at www.seva.org can restore the sight of a blind person. Happy gifting!
When my son turned 13 he told us he didn't want anything for Christmas. So, my husband and I planned a trip to DC instead of trading one thoughtless gift for an obligated one. I had been giving my so experiences for his birthday for a few years already so we just carried that on over to Christmas as well. I don't remember what I got for Christmas most years but I will always remember experiences I share with them. So far, these have been the best Christmas gifts. And so much less stressful! No wasting money on bows, boxes, tape or name tags. No fighting crowds online or at the store. No Christmas dinner to plan and cook and clean up.
Ions ago when I had my first son in 1992 I set up a price limit for everyone gift giving in my family. We have a small family, my mom, my brother and his to kids, and me with my one living child. So we set it $40 apiece and adjust it when needed. Many years brother and you skip each other to save money. I also stopped us giving cards to each. Talk about a waste of money!!! $4 a person to sit on the mantle for week to then throw them away!
We often send something home-backed because I enjoy baking. We usually include the recipe on a pretty recipe card and if they enjoy it, they can add it to their box.
My family keeps it small on the gift-giving. We just do the whole 'draw a name' so we all only buy for that one other person, our significant other, and kids in our life. The kids always make out like bandits but nothing overkill (though they're older now and would prefer a gift card anyway).
My kids are all adults now..none yet married or with children, so I still do them a stocking each. I give them their fave toiletries, socks and underwear (the brand they each prefer), some chocolate, a bottle of their favourite alcohol, and then a gift personal to them, ie, perfume, gift card for their fave clothing shop, cash for petrol. For inlaws, I do a hamper of their favourite treat foods, along with a voucher for their favourite restaurant.
I think it's funny how big $$$ stores put out these "for all your Christmas shopping" ads. Like Best Buy. Because of course I'm going to buy my second cousin a $600 PlayStation.
My mom gets anxiety around Christmas. When we were little it was easy to buy a bunch of toys, cause it was cheaper. Now everyone's hobbies are spendy, but her anxiety makes it hard for her to downsize, even though we've told her the gifts aren't necessary, and that if she wants to spend the money we would rather have one nice thing than multiple smaller things. But that's how anxiety works, sometimes it just doesn't make as much sense to people looking in. We do a secret Santa for the whole family (and if one of us has a good year we will also buy for everyone, but it's not expected as there are a lot of us and I don't consider any of materialistic). I usually try to get useful things, or unique from local shops. But I think I'm just going to start baking and maybe make some homemade jam to gift for each household from now on. Possibly include books because we all read something or other. I've bought from local-ish authors before for that too.
I run a local mom's page and this time of year it's especially difficult and we have moms posting asking for holiday help. And they feel guilty and ashamed that they can't give their kids the Christmas they feel their kids deserve. I always get a little frustrated because I remind them that gift giving is optional! And I think it's okay to be honest with your kids about what you can and cannot do to celebrate special days. It's not about the stuff. But I guess that's easy for me to say since I'm not a mom who is struggling. I just don't like seeing people beat themselves up because they can't participate in consumer culture.
They can give them the gift of their time- that's the most precious one of all!
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This is why cash is and always will be the best of gifts to give and receive - it is ALWAYS practical, no one ever dislikes receiving money, and the recipient can purchase whatever they want with it. And in addition to not creating more waste (like gift wrap, packaging, and all the freaking plastic that's just...everywhere and in everything 🤦🏻♀️) the person doing the giving isn't left having to decipher clues, make guesses, or clumsily ask someone about what they'd like in terms of a gift. I stopped buying material gifts when it became clear just how many toys my son had that only created clutter since he never played with them - he was given so much throughout the year cuz of his good grades & behavior that it seemed crazy to just keep getting more. So now I only give out cash, Visa or Mastercard gift cards (or specific stores if requested), or a singular "big" item that is definitely wanted (like the desktop computer setup we got our son last Christmas).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIXFSnNe_wQ i know this is British but please watch the video it sums up gift giving
I love to craft and make jewelry for my family. For those who travel a lot during the year, I buy gas cards. I also love to cook and bake so I give my family a gift basket. I also give store cards for groceries to my garbage guys and my mail lady with a small gift bag of chocolate and cookies I make. Merry Christmas to all!
I don't like giving and receiving money as a gift so much. 1, if everyone does it, it kind of defeats the purpose. 2, it's impersonal and shows a lack of thought and that you don't really know the person. 3, I enjoy a surprise. Also, most of my adult family members have everything they need, and most have more disposable income than me and my husband, as we have a total of 6 children. So, unless someone gives me a tip as to what they'd like, I look for creative, thoughtful gifts which I'm sure won't go to waste. For example, I used to work as a barista and have become quite the little coffee conassuer. So, I'll send coffee or espresso beans from small-scale roasteries to those family members whom I know drink coffee. Or other specialty food and drink items, usually as a gift set, and I pay attention to people's tastes. Don't just give everyone a fruit cake and expect them to like it. I wasn't sure what my dad's wife would particularly appreciate, so I asked my dad for tips. Easy.
My family is small, it's just my sister and mom and I, but we gave up on typical gift giving ages ago. Now we do strictly food and experience, and MAYBE a material something if we know what they would like. Sister got SummerSlam tickets a few years ago, I got Universal Orlando tickets, mom got to go kayaking with manatees in the middle of the night (really cool, she loved it). And all three of us like good food so we pick somewhere fancy to go for special occasions.
I'm in NZ and get Chrisco hampers and store gift cards for my oldest son and daughter in law who have 3 kidlets, my boomerang child and myself. It spreads the cost over 52 weeks and eases grocery costs for months. No mad last minute food shopping for Christmas, gift cards to spend on groceries, clothes, toys etc. My grandchildren love hamper day, seeing all the goodies for the freezer and pantry. We still do Christmas presents but nothing extravagant or fancy. Next weekend I'm taking my two older grandchildren to put presents under the Kmart Wishing Tree, something I started with my sons and now carry on with the next generation. Christmas is about giving and being grateful for all you have, I believe.
I've found that wish lists are the best way to make sure that people get what they want. That and simply asking them. If they don't want anything in particular, just give them money or gift cards.
I'm at such a loss as to what to get Dad for Xmas, and then I have to think about his birthday. And...I'm sad? not about being lost, because I already have some chonky guitar picks coming, one of which is relatively similar to an idea he had that might be perfect for him, and I can figure out consumables. But... Grandma passed earlier this year. So I should be looking for monkeys for her, and then something for her birthday, which is even sooner than Dad's. No, I'm definitely sad now.
I love Christmas crackers, but I hate waste. I I made some fabric reusable crackers, and fill them with fun stuff. Normally nice lintt chocolate, some Lotto scratch tickets, a little toy like playdough to play with while lunch is cooking. This year there are merino socks :)
Christmas is nice and everything but I think it has more of an impact if you reach out to someone outside of the holidays. My sister-in-law was upset that she didn't get the job. I sent her a handwritten letter with $100. It meant a lot to her and strengthened our friendship.
I started a new tradition when I became a grandmother. Every year I buy an adventure photo album and decorate a page for each month. Each page will 8nclude what adventure we will do together on that month. We then take pictures and place them in album. It can be as simple as going to lunch or watching a movie together or a trip.
I'm an artist and often make gifts for friends. But my family just does not see the value in handmade things. So I'm stuck buying them things. My mom, although good intentioned, is so out of touch that last year she bought me a set of 6 identical mass produced mugs. I make artisan pottery!!! I felt like a jerk but I asked her to return them. I was never going to use them and I'd rather her get the $80 back. I wish I could give her a special mug but she would be disappointed. She wants jewelry. lol oi vey
She could have gotten a good piece of jewelry with that $80 if she had shopped around and looked for deals.
Load More Replies... I have convinced some friends that £5 - £10 on at least 5 toys from Poundland is as effective as expensive toys that will be forgotten in 3 days. There is no need to buy £50 of stuff for a baby that doesn't even know what is happening. And taking them to charity shops when they have been abandoned. Some kids prefer the wrapping paper.
I tell folks to take what they would have spent on me and donate it to the charity of their choice, as I don't really need/want anything. Managed to get one person doing it this year, finally. While I appreciate gifts, and will get you something if that's you're thing, I prefer not to get any more stuff.
Christmas time I definitely get an urge to shower my kids with presents. It's mental effort to rein myself in. My kids are still young so they get Santa gifts, which are always board games or puzzles. Then they get a couple individual gifts plus something big for the family. They also may get some new books as presents.
I pretty much only buy experiences now, afternoon tea, visits to venues/ museums that are linked to their interests/ driving experiences etc that way they get a memory and a fun experience and not something that they don't need that'll sit gathering dust. I have bought a few physical gifts, but they're things they actually need like new slippers or for children I always buy books. This year they have personalised Christmas books that makes them the 'star' of the story. I'm very glad I'm not from a large family who loves to give piles of un needed gifts. My ex MIL did this and most of the stuff I didn't need or want or could even use and it all got donated. Such a waste
When my daughter was young my mum used to take me to the supermarket and told me to fill a trolley, it was so useful and very much appreciated. I now do the same for my daughter but it's via the supermarket app. Everyone else I ask if there is something they need or something they would love to have but can't justify it in their budget.
This may be unpopular, but we give money to our daughters, to each other and to my in laws. I would rather than, than give tat that would end up in a landfill somewhere. It works for us and the recipients are happy with getting money. It allows them to either save it for a rainy day or spend it on something that they wouldn't normally buy for themselves. It's a win-win situation for us.
we Chinese people do that too. We just give each other money for all the occasions, birthdays, new year, weddings... we don't do gifts. you don't know what they want anyways
Load More Replies... Modern gift-giving culture reached peak absurd long ago. What happened to 'it's the thought that counts', or 'it's better to give than to receive?'
My family can't help but buy mountains of useless garbage every year for xmas and bdays. So, I smile, say thank you, and then the local Salvation Army gets lots of unused items and clothes about a month later. I tried telling them no or that I don't want anything but they don't care. So it's better to keep the peace and let them donate to charity indirectly.
This is my first Xmas back with the family in 30+ years and nobody will tell me if we are marking it with presents or not. I'm going to get the old folks stuff - one is a bracelet given to me that I refuse to wear and the other is a cute brooch that I got suckered into paying over the odds by Poppy Appeal. Dad gets a puzzle. Brother and husband a bit tougher to think about.
Load More Replies... Our neighbourhood does a 'recycle santa'. You bring toys, books and games your kids dont play with anymore, you get points and with those point you pick out toys other parents brought in. Some things still look brand new, others don't, but young kids dont notice. Much less waste.
If I was given the gift to fill my shopping trolley in a supermarket I would be sobbing with thanks and delight as I went round the supermarket getting what I need.
My grandchildren have plenty of books and toys. About 3-4 Christmases ago, I came up with a gift idea for each of my nine grandchildren: a magazine subscription. They each pick their own magazine - with their parents' permission, of course. They get a gift every month, and each year they can continue the same magazine for another year, or choose a different one. (Kids do age out of certain magazines.) And what kid doesn't like getting their own mail?
I don't understand why we have to limit giving gifts and saying thanks to one day a year. If I see something for someone that I know they'll really like, I get it for them. If they don't want for anything, I'll bake something. Food is always appreciated, even if it is very temporary. You know your families best, just go according to that. Not everything needs to be a spectacle.
I work in the language services and linguistic research fields which unfortunately do not pay as well as they should despite the insane list of credentials we need. Thus, the holidays are not the happiest of times for me as I feel under constant pressure to purchase material items for loved ones when I'm an overworked researcher. I am really into landscape and nature photography as a hobby and used to print out my images and frame them-- I tried to always pick photos that would resonate with the person. However, my stepmum never seemed to care for my home-made gifts which hurt like hell. She always was into material items and I really don't want to spend the holidays with my father and stepmum anymore because of that. I shouldn't feel obligated to bankrupt myself to buy someone a lavish gift. Many of my most cherished gifts have been beautiful items that friends have made for me.
If she doesn't respect what you've worked hard to make, then she doesn't deserve it. Spend your energy and talents on the people you know who will appreciate it!
Load More Replies... I have started giving all of my nieces and nephews books for Xmas. I have a big family and some younger siblings who might still have kids too and I just can't afford to spend a ton of money every year. Books are useful, all kids in school need them, and I still spend a lot of time trying to find something that suits their personalities. Also, easy to exchange if they don't like it or donate when finished. Under 5 years may still get a small gift since they can't read, but I always ask their parents what they NEED. When they start driving I will probably switch to gas gift cards.
Putting money into a child's college fund can just be the same as throwing money away on gifts that get donated or unused... instead, I would suggest some kind of CD or other money growing venture that they can access when they turn 18 or other adult age you are comfortable with... not every 18yo is an adult.
The thing is if they don't want to go to college they could use it for other things and if they do it's really really helpful
Load More Replies... what my friends and i have started is elfster lists with things we need that are either a little bit silly or expensive because they support fair wages or a charitable cause or both. one friend wanted dryer static balls, but cute ones that were handmade by someone local. another wanted higher end, more sustainable coffee. another wanted a zoo membership so they could reduce the cost of many many visits with their kids. all the parents give us kids sizes, favorite characters, and what is going to be needed for school/club/activity/sport for the year; this way they can open something, but it needed and helps cut down costs for their parents. we got older and just said screw surprises. there are things we want and need and who decided that we can't ask for it as adults?
I do exactly this! I give things that will be used or eaten. A nice basket with yummy food, vouchers for car washes / gas, nice shower gel, selfmade jam, a block of parmesan cheese, wine, tea or ground coffee... There are so many useful things that won't end up in a landfill
We celebrate "Sinterklaas" in the Netherlands on December 5th. Santa Claus is based on this children's festivity. When the children get older, we have them make "surprises": the gift itself is small but the way you make fun of it is by designing something like a big doll from waste material. It's lots of fun. Many adults still do it that way. My children have reached a new stage in this: we invite lots of friends and play a detective game together. I buy small but useful presents like woollen socks, candles etc, that they can win in the game. However, at the end, everyone who won more than 2 gifts has to give away the surplus to someone with less than 2 gifts. Everybody happy :).
My family spends little or nothibg for bdays and xmas, instead spending the money on experiences or meals out when we visit each other. Memories are much more valuable than stuff.
"Potlatch" is a gift-giving feast practiced by Indigenous peoples of the Pacific Northwest of the United States. A potlatch involves giving away or destroying wealth or valuable items in order to demonstrate a leader's wealth and power. Ever since then, people have bankrupted themselves in competing to give the most extravagant gifts. Whoever gives the most away is proclaimed the winner.
We realised a few years ago that my sister in law and her husband have everything they need, we do likewise. The one thing we don't have is much time together. So every year, we take them somewhere, and they take us somewhere. It might only be a two night city break, but we all enjoy it greatly. And kids get to an age where they would much rather have money or gift cards. I used to buy my Nan meat for her little freezer, appreciated by someone who lived through the war. Grown ups get consumables, either specialities or home made. (I've just made a batch of medlar jelly, and there will be medlar liqueur). Everyone is happy with this, as one of the contributors said, there was audible relief from the rest of the family
When I worked in an ER, we had the best manager. For Christmas, one year she bought a bunch of good wool socks and we got to choose which color we wanted. Another year, it was a basket of unique coffee mugs, one per person, and another year, a choice of either a bag of good coffee or box of tea. They were all practical gifts and everyone got the same thing. No waste. She was always thoughtful.
If you don't want it. Give it to those who need it. Give to a charity, for them to sell. Or sell it on TradeMe or eBay.
I don't have this problem. My family and I get lots of gifts and give each other a lot of gifts too and we use every one of them. We grew up to appreciate everything and not waste anything.
It may be different for close families, especially w/kids, but I don't have either & my biggest yearly expense was office gifts. When COVID hit & we worked from home for almost 2 years, I started the tradition of doing a charity donation & sending a notification on a mass email, including my friends, most of whom live in other states/countries. These are charities I had sent $10 or $20 before so it was good to expand. I've kept it up, so now I send about $200. My note to the office & pals reads something like: "Instead of some trinket you don't want or need, on your name this year 2 people will get their vision back, 1 girl will attend school & a community will get water." It's good karma for everyone. I don't make much $$$, but for some charities even a small contribution can make a huge difference. If you need ideas, $50 at www.seva.org can restore the sight of a blind person. Happy gifting!
When my son turned 13 he told us he didn't want anything for Christmas. So, my husband and I planned a trip to DC instead of trading one thoughtless gift for an obligated one. I had been giving my so experiences for his birthday for a few years already so we just carried that on over to Christmas as well. I don't remember what I got for Christmas most years but I will always remember experiences I share with them. So far, these have been the best Christmas gifts. And so much less stressful! No wasting money on bows, boxes, tape or name tags. No fighting crowds online or at the store. No Christmas dinner to plan and cook and clean up.
Ions ago when I had my first son in 1992 I set up a price limit for everyone gift giving in my family. We have a small family, my mom, my brother and his to kids, and me with my one living child. So we set it $40 apiece and adjust it when needed. Many years brother and you skip each other to save money. I also stopped us giving cards to each. Talk about a waste of money!!! $4 a person to sit on the mantle for week to then throw them away!
We often send something home-backed because I enjoy baking. We usually include the recipe on a pretty recipe card and if they enjoy it, they can add it to their box.
My family keeps it small on the gift-giving. We just do the whole 'draw a name' so we all only buy for that one other person, our significant other, and kids in our life. The kids always make out like bandits but nothing overkill (though they're older now and would prefer a gift card anyway).
My kids are all adults now..none yet married or with children, so I still do them a stocking each. I give them their fave toiletries, socks and underwear (the brand they each prefer), some chocolate, a bottle of their favourite alcohol, and then a gift personal to them, ie, perfume, gift card for their fave clothing shop, cash for petrol. For inlaws, I do a hamper of their favourite treat foods, along with a voucher for their favourite restaurant.
I think it's funny how big $$$ stores put out these "for all your Christmas shopping" ads. Like Best Buy. Because of course I'm going to buy my second cousin a $600 PlayStation.
My mom gets anxiety around Christmas. When we were little it was easy to buy a bunch of toys, cause it was cheaper. Now everyone's hobbies are spendy, but her anxiety makes it hard for her to downsize, even though we've told her the gifts aren't necessary, and that if she wants to spend the money we would rather have one nice thing than multiple smaller things. But that's how anxiety works, sometimes it just doesn't make as much sense to people looking in. We do a secret Santa for the whole family (and if one of us has a good year we will also buy for everyone, but it's not expected as there are a lot of us and I don't consider any of materialistic). I usually try to get useful things, or unique from local shops. But I think I'm just going to start baking and maybe make some homemade jam to gift for each household from now on. Possibly include books because we all read something or other. I've bought from local-ish authors before for that too.
I run a local mom's page and this time of year it's especially difficult and we have moms posting asking for holiday help. And they feel guilty and ashamed that they can't give their kids the Christmas they feel their kids deserve. I always get a little frustrated because I remind them that gift giving is optional! And I think it's okay to be honest with your kids about what you can and cannot do to celebrate special days. It's not about the stuff. But I guess that's easy for me to say since I'm not a mom who is struggling. I just don't like seeing people beat themselves up because they can't participate in consumer culture.
They can give them the gift of their time- that's the most precious one of all!
Load More Replies... This is why cash is and always will be the best of gifts to give and receive - it is ALWAYS practical, no one ever dislikes receiving money, and the recipient can purchase whatever they want with it. And in addition to not creating more waste (like gift wrap, packaging, and all the freaking plastic that's just...everywhere and in everything 🤦🏻♀️) the person doing the giving isn't left having to decipher clues, make guesses, or clumsily ask someone about what they'd like in terms of a gift. I stopped buying material gifts when it became clear just how many toys my son had that only created clutter since he never played with them - he was given so much throughout the year cuz of his good grades & behavior that it seemed crazy to just keep getting more. So now I only give out cash, Visa or Mastercard gift cards (or specific stores if requested), or a singular "big" item that is definitely wanted (like the desktop computer setup we got our son last Christmas).
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KIXFSnNe_wQ i know this is British but please watch the video it sums up gift giving
I love to craft and make jewelry for my family. For those who travel a lot during the year, I buy gas cards. I also love to cook and bake so I give my family a gift basket. I also give store cards for groceries to my garbage guys and my mail lady with a small gift bag of chocolate and cookies I make. Merry Christmas to all!
I don't like giving and receiving money as a gift so much. 1, if everyone does it, it kind of defeats the purpose. 2, it's impersonal and shows a lack of thought and that you don't really know the person. 3, I enjoy a surprise. Also, most of my adult family members have everything they need, and most have more disposable income than me and my husband, as we have a total of 6 children. So, unless someone gives me a tip as to what they'd like, I look for creative, thoughtful gifts which I'm sure won't go to waste. For example, I used to work as a barista and have become quite the little coffee conassuer. So, I'll send coffee or espresso beans from small-scale roasteries to those family members whom I know drink coffee. Or other specialty food and drink items, usually as a gift set, and I pay attention to people's tastes. Don't just give everyone a fruit cake and expect them to like it. I wasn't sure what my dad's wife would particularly appreciate, so I asked my dad for tips. Easy.
My family is small, it's just my sister and mom and I, but we gave up on typical gift giving ages ago. Now we do strictly food and experience, and MAYBE a material something if we know what they would like. Sister got SummerSlam tickets a few years ago, I got Universal Orlando tickets, mom got to go kayaking with manatees in the middle of the night (really cool, she loved it). And all three of us like good food so we pick somewhere fancy to go for special occasions.
I'm in NZ and get Chrisco hampers and store gift cards for my oldest son and daughter in law who have 3 kidlets, my boomerang child and myself. It spreads the cost over 52 weeks and eases grocery costs for months. No mad last minute food shopping for Christmas, gift cards to spend on groceries, clothes, toys etc. My grandchildren love hamper day, seeing all the goodies for the freezer and pantry. We still do Christmas presents but nothing extravagant or fancy. Next weekend I'm taking my two older grandchildren to put presents under the Kmart Wishing Tree, something I started with my sons and now carry on with the next generation. Christmas is about giving and being grateful for all you have, I believe.
I've found that wish lists are the best way to make sure that people get what they want. That and simply asking them. If they don't want anything in particular, just give them money or gift cards.
I'm at such a loss as to what to get Dad for Xmas, and then I have to think about his birthday. And...I'm sad? not about being lost, because I already have some chonky guitar picks coming, one of which is relatively similar to an idea he had that might be perfect for him, and I can figure out consumables. But... Grandma passed earlier this year. So I should be looking for monkeys for her, and then something for her birthday, which is even sooner than Dad's. No, I'm definitely sad now.
I love Christmas crackers, but I hate waste. I I made some fabric reusable crackers, and fill them with fun stuff. Normally nice lintt chocolate, some Lotto scratch tickets, a little toy like playdough to play with while lunch is cooking. This year there are merino socks :)
Christmas is nice and everything but I think it has more of an impact if you reach out to someone outside of the holidays. My sister-in-law was upset that she didn't get the job. I sent her a handwritten letter with $100. It meant a lot to her and strengthened our friendship.
I started a new tradition when I became a grandmother. Every year I buy an adventure photo album and decorate a page for each month. Each page will 8nclude what adventure we will do together on that month. We then take pictures and place them in album. It can be as simple as going to lunch or watching a movie together or a trip.
I'm an artist and often make gifts for friends. But my family just does not see the value in handmade things. So I'm stuck buying them things. My mom, although good intentioned, is so out of touch that last year she bought me a set of 6 identical mass produced mugs. I make artisan pottery!!! I felt like a jerk but I asked her to return them. I was never going to use them and I'd rather her get the $80 back. I wish I could give her a special mug but she would be disappointed. She wants jewelry. lol oi vey
She could have gotten a good piece of jewelry with that $80 if she had shopped around and looked for deals.
Load More Replies... I have convinced some friends that £5 - £10 on at least 5 toys from Poundland is as effective as expensive toys that will be forgotten in 3 days. There is no need to buy £50 of stuff for a baby that doesn't even know what is happening. And taking them to charity shops when they have been abandoned. Some kids prefer the wrapping paper.
I tell folks to take what they would have spent on me and donate it to the charity of their choice, as I don't really need/want anything. Managed to get one person doing it this year, finally. While I appreciate gifts, and will get you something if that's you're thing, I prefer not to get any more stuff.
Christmas time I definitely get an urge to shower my kids with presents. It's mental effort to rein myself in. My kids are still young so they get Santa gifts, which are always board games or puzzles. Then they get a couple individual gifts plus something big for the family. They also may get some new books as presents.
I pretty much only buy experiences now, afternoon tea, visits to venues/ museums that are linked to their interests/ driving experiences etc that way they get a memory and a fun experience and not something that they don't need that'll sit gathering dust. I have bought a few physical gifts, but they're things they actually need like new slippers or for children I always buy books. This year they have personalised Christmas books that makes them the 'star' of the story. I'm very glad I'm not from a large family who loves to give piles of un needed gifts. My ex MIL did this and most of the stuff I didn't need or want or could even use and it all got donated. Such a waste
When my daughter was young my mum used to take me to the supermarket and told me to fill a trolley, it was so useful and very much appreciated. I now do the same for my daughter but it's via the supermarket app. Everyone else I ask if there is something they need or something they would love to have but can't justify it in their budget.
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