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Guy Messages His Former Bully He Hasn’t Spoken To In 15 Years, Posts His Reply Online
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People, Social Issues2 years ago

Guy Messages His Former Bully He Hasn’t Spoken To In 15 Years, Posts His Reply Online

Social psychologist Arie Kruglanski coined the phrase “need for closure” in the 1990s. It describes our desire for a firm answer to a question that will alleviate confusion and ambiguity.

When Marc. M contacted his middle school bully, he was probably seeking just that. Something that could explain why the guy picked him. YeahMarkYeah didn’t force him into a corner, demanding an apology or anything. He just told him how he felt about it.

However, the answer the former bully penned proved that kids grow up and people change, and you can’t be angry at someone forever. If they give you a reason.

Marc. M decided to face the painful feelings he had been carrying with himself for years and contacted his middle school bully

Image credits: YeahMarkYeah

The answer was so unexpected, Mark just had to share it online

Image credits: YeahMarkYeah

The need for closure doesn’t just apply to difficult relationships. The death of a close person, the loss of a job or social status are other examples of prolonged and painful endings. Letting go of something that’s important can be difficult, and many people seek closure when doing so.

Like The Conversation described it, it’s like putting together a mental puzzle of what’s happened – examining each piece and its relationship to the overall puzzle. Closure is achieved when we are satisfied that the puzzle has been assembled to our satisfaction, that the answers have been reached and it is therefore possible to move on.

People had a lot to say about their exchange

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Renee Gauthier
Community Member
2 years ago

To those who think it's stupid to be bothered by this in adulthood, not all of us had families we could go home to & be comforted. Some people were bullied at home & at school. Some people already had mental issues that made it worse. It could make it a little harder to get over. I guess those people are of the "I'm fine so screw everyone else" mentality.

Stephanie Blasyak
Community Member
2 years ago

Yes, just because the abuse someone suffered in childhood came from other children doesn't mean it's not abuse and mental and physical abuse in childhood definitely has long lasting harmful effects on people.

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John Louis
Community Member
2 years ago

I contacted a woman and man whom I bullied and told them how very sorry I was. It was cathartic for me. I wish I had not done this and I wish the adults in my life had worked harder to prevent and or punish me for bully others. Please, please, please do all you can to keep your children from bullying others.

Viviane
Community Member
2 years ago

I bullied classmates on two occasions in early elementary school -- and I'm grateful that the teachers told me off. I got bullied in Grade One, too, but didn't tell anyone because first of all, I thought I deserved it; second, the teacher had told the class that you shouldn't tell on other kids. Looking back, I think, How convenient to teach a code of silence to little kids -- then you don't have to deal with bullying." Kudos to several of my teachers who were quite willing to confront bullies.

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Roman DeJesus
Community Member
2 years ago

#NoPlaceForHate

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Renee Gauthier
Community Member
2 years ago

To those who think it's stupid to be bothered by this in adulthood, not all of us had families we could go home to & be comforted. Some people were bullied at home & at school. Some people already had mental issues that made it worse. It could make it a little harder to get over. I guess those people are of the "I'm fine so screw everyone else" mentality.

Stephanie Blasyak
Community Member
2 years ago

Yes, just because the abuse someone suffered in childhood came from other children doesn't mean it's not abuse and mental and physical abuse in childhood definitely has long lasting harmful effects on people.

Load More Replies...
John Louis
Community Member
2 years ago

I contacted a woman and man whom I bullied and told them how very sorry I was. It was cathartic for me. I wish I had not done this and I wish the adults in my life had worked harder to prevent and or punish me for bully others. Please, please, please do all you can to keep your children from bullying others.

Viviane
Community Member
2 years ago

I bullied classmates on two occasions in early elementary school -- and I'm grateful that the teachers told me off. I got bullied in Grade One, too, but didn't tell anyone because first of all, I thought I deserved it; second, the teacher had told the class that you shouldn't tell on other kids. Looking back, I think, How convenient to teach a code of silence to little kids -- then you don't have to deal with bullying." Kudos to several of my teachers who were quite willing to confront bullies.

Load More Replies...
Roman DeJesus
Community Member
2 years ago

#NoPlaceForHate

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