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“AITA For Telling My Brother’s Fiancée She Can’t Wear A Dress That Looks Just Like Mine?”
Finding the perfect wedding dress can be hard. According to Jana Ann Couture, brides try on an average of five to seven dresses before they find ‘the one.’ The A and B Bridal Shop claims that most brides need to try on fewer than 10.
But what if you already know what kind of dress you’re going to wear because you saw your sister-in-law wearing it? That’s what this bride decided, angering her SIL and her side of the family. This story sparked a discussion online: would this be considered stealing or are these women making the wedding dress conundrum way too deep than it needs to be?
RELATED:
A woman chose a copy of her SIL’s wedding dress for her own nuptials
Image credits: Mint_Images/Envato (not the actual photo)
When she found out, the SIL was furious, accusing the bride of disrespect
Image credits: LightFieldStudios/Envato (not the actual photo)
Image credits: DebtPutrid7448
The woman had no choice but to invite the copycat SIL to her bridal fitting
Brides and couples shouldn’t lose sight of what is most important about the wedding
Finding out that someone close to you is copying your wedding dress is hardly exciting. Perhaps that’s why more and more brides nowadays choose custom designs, just so they can be sure no one else will get a dress like them.
In fact, according to Zipdo, 48% of American brides choose custom dress designs. 40% of couples also choose customized wedding favors, pointing to the fact that newlyweds often want their wedding to be as personal and one-of-a-kind as possible.
It sucks when someone steals any kind of idea from your wedding, bet it the dress, the first dance, the cake, or the DJ. Yet most wedding experts advise not to lose sight of what is most important about the occasion: celebrating love.
Wedding planner Maureen Cotton of The Soulful Wedding told So This Is Love that some brides or couples might misunderstand what weddings are all about. “It’s not the palette, venue, or food, but rather how the love and connection between two people and their community can be experienced and celebrated.”
Millions of people look for wedding inspiration online, and ideas are bound to overlap
Image credits: Sandy Millar/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The sister-in-law in this story blatantly ripped off the author’s dress idea. However, nowadays, wedding ideas might overlap and repeat themselves in friends’ circles, and that might happen accidentally, with no one meaning any harm.
According to a recent survey by Zola, 91% of couples look for inspiration on social media. Pinterest is the Holy Grail of inspo for brides and wedding planners, but people often find that translating their picture-perfect ideals into real-life plans often is too difficult or costs too much.
Still, in 2024, there were more than two billion wedding ideas saved on Pinterest, and around 400 million wedding-related searches. Odds are, some bride might steal your dress, ring, or even honeymoon ideas totally inadvertently. And while that doesn’t excuse the SIL’s entitled behavior, it can give one a little bit of perspective on this whole situation.
It’s okay to be upset about stolen ideas, but it shouldn’t overshadow your own big day
Image credits: Photos by Lanty/Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The bride in this story wasn’t sold on the idea that imitation is the highest form of flattery. But some wedding experts recommend looking at situations like these through exactly this lens: think of yourself as a trend-setter!
Planner Amber Anderson at Refine for Wedding Planners also told So This Is Love that “it’s hard to say who saw something first and adapted for their style and personal touch. The world of weddings is all about inspiration and expanding on ideas, so imitation is considered flattery.”
Wedding experts also have some more tips for brides whose friends decided to copy elements of their weddings:
- Acknowledge your feelings but don’t dwell on them. “It’s okay to be upset,” Anderson said. “Give yourself a time limit and choose to be upset for a moment, vent with your partner, then let it go.”
- Don’t let it ruin your big day. Taking the h**h road is hard, but sulking on your wedding because someone else might be copying your dress at theirs might simply not be worth it. “Instead, choose joy, take a spin around the dance floor and have fun!” Anderson says. “Because remember, marriage and friendship are more important than any detail at any wedding!”
- Take solace in the fact that it won’t be identical. It’s almost impossible to recreate wedding details from one wedding at another wedding. And even if they somehow magically are, the people, the vibe, and the atmosphere probably won’t be the same.
Think of it this way: are there really any original ideas in the age of Pinterest and Etsy?
“You are not the only one who noticed. Everyone at the table noticed,” commenters sided with the original dress owner
People also recommended she distance herself from her SIL in the future
However, others saw no problem with identical dresses: “Nobody cares about your dress except you”
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What do you think ?
NJ P 3 months ago
I don't know why you care as she is getting married a year after you. Do you know how many other woman will be wearing a dress similar to yours as it is not a one-off design. Grow up. Such drama.
Ms.GB 3 months ago
Yeah it's only gonna look exactly how it is...that she's copying her. I would be so embarrassed if I were SIL.
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Mel in Georgia 3 months ago
This is probably just me, but I can't lay claim to a style of dress. If somebody close likes it, too, for them, fine! Twinsies! I was the inspiration! Cool, right? The "MY DAY" card gets way overplayed in weddings and causes so much grief and stress. But again, just my opinion.
Binky Melnik 3 months ago
Not only that but I can’t imagine being sooo self-obsessed that she thinks everyone will look at her SIL A YEAR LATER and think “Oh, no! She’s dressed *just like* the self-obsessed one!” Who (besides brides) can even remember what any given bride wore? More importantly, WHO CARES?! With all the planning, I can’t believe there’s time to worry about what other brides are doing. Having said all that, if she REALLY wants to make this a thing, going at her brother with the in cest thing seems to be the best way to do it, but I really can’t imagine anyone worrying about what some other bride does!
Load More Replies...
Child of the Stars 3 months ago
I know most people disagree, but I'm with the YTAs on this. It would be one thing if the FSIL was wearing it to the aunt's wedding, but I guess I just don't get the big deal on the other stuff. Even baby names wouldn't bother me. I have a common name, and there were always several girls at school with the same name. My ex-husband shares his name with two of his first cousins and has EIGHT family members with the name Michael. So what? I don't understand the need to be terminally unique.
Lyone Fein 3 months ago
I think this is so stupid. The dress was a ready made style. There is nothing unique about it whatsoever. It is off the rack. Dozens of other brides in the same city will be wearing the exact same dress for their wedding too. Get over it.
ॐBoyGanesh 3 months ago
I was reading that there are basically 12 designs of modern wedding dresses in the USA (specifically) and that only the flourishes make any real distinction. Even then, they’re not memorable. If you were to show your wedding dress along side a couple of similar dresses to your wedding guests a year after, only a few would correctly recognize it. It’s ridiculous to expect some sort of exclusivity with these designs, unless it’s custom or highly personalized. It sucks SIL can only see it as flattering & doesn’t feel she should get something less similar, but that’s the way it works when it’s such a specific type of clothing. I struggle telling my 11 year old what he can or can’t wear. I cost imagine getting upset over what an adult wears & absolutely wouldn’t tell them what they could or couldn’t. I feel kinda bad for women who put so much into the ceremony & how they feel obligated to make it their most important day. No one else cares all the much or remembers.
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Dusty's mom 3 months ago
I'm a woman and I don't get the obsession about clothes. It's instilled in some women to be incensed about things like this. Most of the men won't clock it at all, and a good many women won't either. Yeeesh! Besides, it will be patently clear who the copycat is. But like so many sensible people have stated; stop sharing info with future SIL.
Sarah 3 months ago (edited)
Stop with such childish drama. The dress is a big deal for you… and nobody, nobody else. most of your guests will have a vague memory of it, usually is was puffy or mermaid. That’s it, no one actually cares about your dress, other than admire and then forgotten abt- let’s be honest. There’s more important hills to die on ,get perspective. Nobody will remember your dress within a week of the day . Also what happened to borrowing ( my mum did ) my old boss boight second hand 10 yrs ago, lady had it for sale and boss just bought it from her- no fittings or anything, my other friend wore her mothers dress
R Dennis 3 months ago
Maybe it's because I'm a guy, but I find this all ridiculous. So, no one can wear the same wedding dress A YEAR LATER?!? I hate to burst the bride's bubble, but no one cares except her.
The Starsong Princess 3 months ago
You are getting married first so I’d let it go, sort of. But her nickname in the family is now Single White Female and when she pulls this stuff, push the narrative that Single White Female is embarrassing herself again.
NJ P 3 months ago
I don't know why you care as she is getting married a year after you. Do you know how many other woman will be wearing a dress similar to yours as it is not a one-off design. Grow up. Such drama.
Ms.GB 3 months ago
Yeah it's only gonna look exactly how it is...that she's copying her. I would be so embarrassed if I were SIL.
Load More Replies... Mel in Georgia 3 months ago
This is probably just me, but I can't lay claim to a style of dress. If somebody close likes it, too, for them, fine! Twinsies! I was the inspiration! Cool, right? The "MY DAY" card gets way overplayed in weddings and causes so much grief and stress. But again, just my opinion.
Binky Melnik 3 months ago
Not only that but I can’t imagine being sooo self-obsessed that she thinks everyone will look at her SIL A YEAR LATER and think “Oh, no! She’s dressed *just like* the self-obsessed one!” Who (besides brides) can even remember what any given bride wore? More importantly, WHO CARES?! With all the planning, I can’t believe there’s time to worry about what other brides are doing. Having said all that, if she REALLY wants to make this a thing, going at her brother with the in cest thing seems to be the best way to do it, but I really can’t imagine anyone worrying about what some other bride does!
Load More Replies... Child of the Stars 3 months ago
I know most people disagree, but I'm with the YTAs on this. It would be one thing if the FSIL was wearing it to the aunt's wedding, but I guess I just don't get the big deal on the other stuff. Even baby names wouldn't bother me. I have a common name, and there were always several girls at school with the same name. My ex-husband shares his name with two of his first cousins and has EIGHT family members with the name Michael. So what? I don't understand the need to be terminally unique.
Lyone Fein 3 months ago
I think this is so stupid. The dress was a ready made style. There is nothing unique about it whatsoever. It is off the rack. Dozens of other brides in the same city will be wearing the exact same dress for their wedding too. Get over it.
ॐBoyGanesh 3 months ago
I was reading that there are basically 12 designs of modern wedding dresses in the USA (specifically) and that only the flourishes make any real distinction. Even then, they’re not memorable. If you were to show your wedding dress along side a couple of similar dresses to your wedding guests a year after, only a few would correctly recognize it. It’s ridiculous to expect some sort of exclusivity with these designs, unless it’s custom or highly personalized. It sucks SIL can only see it as flattering & doesn’t feel she should get something less similar, but that’s the way it works when it’s such a specific type of clothing. I struggle telling my 11 year old what he can or can’t wear. I cost imagine getting upset over what an adult wears & absolutely wouldn’t tell them what they could or couldn’t. I feel kinda bad for women who put so much into the ceremony & how they feel obligated to make it their most important day. No one else cares all the much or remembers.
Load More Replies... Dusty's mom 3 months ago
I'm a woman and I don't get the obsession about clothes. It's instilled in some women to be incensed about things like this. Most of the men won't clock it at all, and a good many women won't either. Yeeesh! Besides, it will be patently clear who the copycat is. But like so many sensible people have stated; stop sharing info with future SIL.
Sarah 3 months ago (edited)
Stop with such childish drama. The dress is a big deal for you… and nobody, nobody else. most of your guests will have a vague memory of it, usually is was puffy or mermaid. That’s it, no one actually cares about your dress, other than admire and then forgotten abt- let’s be honest. There’s more important hills to die on ,get perspective. Nobody will remember your dress within a week of the day . Also what happened to borrowing ( my mum did ) my old boss boight second hand 10 yrs ago, lady had it for sale and boss just bought it from her- no fittings or anything, my other friend wore her mothers dress
R Dennis 3 months ago
Maybe it's because I'm a guy, but I find this all ridiculous. So, no one can wear the same wedding dress A YEAR LATER?!? I hate to burst the bride's bubble, but no one cares except her.
The Starsong Princess 3 months ago
You are getting married first so I’d let it go, sort of. But her nickname in the family is now Single White Female and when she pulls this stuff, push the narrative that Single White Female is embarrassing herself again.
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