Bride Doesn’t Want Her Maid Of Honor To Be Pregnant, Asks Her Best Friend Of 20 Years To Step Down, Even Though She’s Not Pregnant Yet
There are lots of things to consider when choosing a MOH, which ideally should be done before making a decision, rather than canceling someone after they’ve already agreed.
The latter is what happened to the redditor u/esmeraldaH95. She opened up to the ‘True Off My Chest’ community about her friend withdrawing the invitation for being a MOH based on the possibility of her getting pregnant. The bride-to-be tried convincing her it’s for the OP’s own good, but that didn’t seem like the main reason. Scroll down to find the full story.
Most brides expect all eyes on them on the big day, but some care for it more than they do for their friends
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia (not the actual photo)
This woman was dismissed of her MOH duties because there was a chance she might get pregnant
Image credits: Juan Encalada (not the actual photo)
Image credits: esmeraldaH95
Thinking about all the possible scenarios is not unheard of when planning a wedding
The OP wasn’t pregnant when her friend decided to withdraw the invitation for her to be a maid of honor. Even though the bride-to-be’s decision was based on assumptions, she was considering all the possible scenarios, which is not unheard of when it comes to making wedding arrangements.
Planning a wedding can be a long and strenuous process. Of course, it all depends on the type of celebration, the number of people, and so many other things; however, according to a 2018 survey, planning the big day usually takes roughly 528 hours. The study found that an engaged person spends an average of 12 hours a week taking care of wedding-related matters, which adds up to 11 months of planning in total.
The survey also found that even though excitement and happiness are two of the main emotions accompanying the soon-to-be-wed, they also feel stressed, overwhelmed, and anxious. That is no surprise, considering the amount of things that have to be taken care of, the worst of which seems to be finding the right venue. The survey of 2000 Americans revealed that that’s the most time-consuming part of it all, followed by finding the right wedding dress and deciding upon who will be in the wedding party.
The size of the wedding party, as well as of the entire guest list, also differs with each couple. But according to The Knot, the average number of people at a wedding in 2022 was 117 guests. The soon-to-be-wed couple in the redditor’s story wanted the OP and her partner to come as guests, but not as the wedding party anymore. And the friend’s reasons for that might have been even more upsetting than withdrawing the invitation to be a MOH itself.
Image credits: Photos by Lanty (not the actual photo)
Making pregnancy-related assumptions can lead to some quite upsetting situations
The OP was dismissed from her duties as an MOH based on the assumptions she might get pregnant before the wedding. Making pregnancy-related assumptions can be somewhat detrimental. Similarly to asking someone if they’re expecting, it can open certain wounds or simply come across as rude at times.
Family Education emphasized that asking someone if they’re pregnant when they’re not can lead to some pretty uncomfortable situations. If the answer is no, it might get pretty awkward for you, as well as the other person who might be struggling with body-related issues or have simply put on some weight. Moreover, it suggested that not all people want and can have children, and for those who choose to be child-free, such questions might seem presumptuous, while for people dealing with infertility they can open up huge wounds.
In one of the comments, the redditor opened up that it might be difficult for her and her husband to conceive, and revealed that her friend knew it. However, that didn’t stop the friend from assuming the OP might get pregnant before the big day, which would likely take some attention away from the bride-to-be. That led to quite a few redditors shaming the latter in the comments.
Image credits: Anastasiia Chepinska (not the actual photo)
Fellow redditors showed support for the OP, she answered some of their comments
Some people had questions about the situation and their friendship
People in the comments shared similar stories, too
I don't get why she engages with this and "offers resolutions" to all possible scenarios brought up. Just listen to what bridezilla says, "Wedontwantcha"; simple. I've been to many weddings and I've never seen a MOH lift anything heavier than a bottle unless they chose to (like, help move a table with some stuff on, help a wheelchair up a some steps --- plenty of other hands around, they helped because they easily could).
I think they meant heavy lifting as in time and stress put into all of it.
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It’s so sad that brides today consider their weddings “my day” and “the day is all about me”. I thought weddings were about joining with someone you love in marriage and celebrating the day with family and friends. It’s not all about you.
Exactly. I've been married for 28 years. My wedding was very laid back. It definitely wasn't all about me! Some people! She just needs to cut her out of her life.
Load More Replies... I don't get why she engages with this and "offers resolutions" to all possible scenarios brought up. Just listen to what bridezilla says, "Wedontwantcha"; simple. I've been to many weddings and I've never seen a MOH lift anything heavier than a bottle unless they chose to (like, help move a table with some stuff on, help a wheelchair up a some steps --- plenty of other hands around, they helped because they easily could).
I think they meant heavy lifting as in time and stress put into all of it.
Load More Replies... It’s so sad that brides today consider their weddings “my day” and “the day is all about me”. I thought weddings were about joining with someone you love in marriage and celebrating the day with family and friends. It’s not all about you.
Exactly. I've been married for 28 years. My wedding was very laid back. It definitely wasn't all about me! Some people! She just needs to cut her out of her life.
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