Guy Uninvites Fiancée’s Closest Family From The Wedding After They Make Her Wedding Dress Shopping All About Her Sister
The dress appointment is one of the most special moments of wedding planning for every bride-to-be. These couple of hours are all about making you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world, ready to soak in the compliments and shine bright like there’s no tomorrow. So no wonder, as a groom, the bridal appointment would be the last place you expect your loved one to come back from in tears.
But this is what happened to redditor u/Futuristic-Ad3000, who witnessed his fiancée crying after she went to try on some dresses with her parents and sister. It turns out, the whole occasion quickly became all about her sister, who’s single, as the in-laws ended up getting her a wedding dress.
“The appointment was supposed to be for my fiancée but her sister took over and my fiancée didn’t even get to try on a single dress,” wrote the groom.
As you can imagine, the whole situation was not something the groom was willing to put up with, so he stepped up and made a decision he thought was the right one. Scroll down through the full story about this family drama and be sure to share your thoughts in the comment section below!
This groom was upset to see his fiancée cry after she came back from her wedding dress appointment with her parents and sister
Image credits: Charisse Kenion
It turns out her parents bought his fiancée’s sister a wedding dress although she is single and it was more than their budget was for the fiancée’s dress
Picking your dream bridal dress can be an overwhelming experience, especially if you don’t feel like your loved ones support you. But this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to wedding planning.
In fact, according to a new survey, 40% of couples categorized wedding planning as “extremely stressful” while 71% thought it was more nerve-wracking than other major life events like finding a new job. And for 35% of the couples surveyed, it’s the details that are driving them the craziest.
But according to Allison Hanrahan, Marketing Manager at Kleinfeld Bridal in New York City, “even with the constantly changing climate, wedding postponements, and moves to smaller, more intimate ceremonies and celebrations, brides-to-be still want to feel like a bride.”
The wedding gown is probably the most important thing to make that happen. Experts say that dress shopping should be treated with particular importance because the guests you bring can make or break the experience for you.
Be careful when deciding whom to invite, and try to make the bridal appointment guest list minimal. Inviting siblings, friends, parents, and grandparents will only add to the chaos, making it harder for you to concentrate on what really matters—yourself.
And this is what people had to say about this whole situation
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Serious. The parents and the sister are more toxic than Chernobyl. Imagine being 30 and being so clueless. Them add two more adults whom are over 50. I'd plan my future on having no interaction with them. It boggles the mind.
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Why would you buy a wedding dress if you aren't planning to get married in thу foreseeable future? You may gain or lose wight and this dress won't fit you the very next year, let alone after longer time.
Or she'll complain it's outdated and awnt a new one...
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NTA. The poor girl. This should have been her special day, looking for a dress with sis and mum. That sister is a selfish b!tch and I completely understand the groom's decision. I feel sorry for the bride to be. Aaaaaw, such a negative vibe isn't going to go away and will linger long after the wedding.
Thank you for being the man you are supporting your fiance, you have no idea how little men do this for their significant others. You stood up for her against her own bullying family who made her feel invisible on a day that was meant to be all about her, but instead they wanted to play favorites, and to do it so blatantly in front of your fiance shows the parents and sister neither love or respect her like you do. Both of you stand your ground, if either of you let this slide with the family, they will all disrespect the both of you at any given time because they've been given the green flag to do so. Screw them, you both be happy. Keep doing the fantastic job you're doing and loving your fiance right.
Parents, sister, and consultant are all the AH here. Where does this bride-to-be live? *I'll* go help her find a dress, and she won't even have to pay for a seat for me at the reception.
I'll join too, the girl sounds like she could use a team of supporting humans after that. (I'm also happy to provide keep the fam-away services during the event - free of anything)
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Honey, if your fiance couldn't really find the time to visit her family, and you don't know them well either, that's because they've been AHs her entire life. Trust me. If someone is avoiding their family like the plague, don't talk much about them, etc. there's a reason for it and it's never a positive one. This has been the straw to break the camel's back. And you did what she needed you to do the most: stood up for her, protected her and got her away from a very toxic situation. Good on you both and don't bother letting them back into your lives ever again.
looking forward this couple should gird their loins for 'baby drama', 'new house drama', hell even 'we got a puppy' drama.
Load More Replies... I was bored to tears when my sis dragged me on her dress-hunting wedding-dress excursions. But I still didn't go shopping for one for me. What is with the parents?
It's possible that the parents favoured the older daughter because she was first and the younger daughter may have been an "accident". I suspect they also feel sorry for their older daughter because the younger daughter achieved more in her own life.
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This man is the least asshole person on this planet. Like, god damn he's a good guy. The fact that he not only stood up for her but acknowledged that it's not up to him how this goes forward but that he needed to stand up for her because she deserves to be happy n shouldn't have to deal with that s**t just proves how good of a guy he is. Like... F**k her family. Also, I love how they say "it's none of your business" to him... AFTER they called him to "warn him" about how his wife got upset n how they're not the assholes but she is.... like... okay so it was his business when you thought that he wouldn't get involved or side with you... but then when he does the right thing it's all of the sudden not his business anymore? Y'all involved him before she did! Ugh. This reminds me of my mother n brothers so much. I cut ties with my mom because of similar behavior n it's been the best year of my life since I cut ties. Good riddance. Not the asshole at all! This mans a treasure!
NTA. And good for her not going back to the dress shop. Buying your wedding dress should be fun! I had an appointment at David's Bridal. They were not very friendly when I called. My MoH and I had time to kill until we picked up our moms so we stopped at a tiny bridal shop we had heard of, no appointment. The owner was the sweetest, motherly lady. I tried on 2 dresses. We went back with the moms and that first dress I tried on we knew was the one. It was only $400 (My mom had expected spending up to $2k) and needed minimal alterations. The lady even suggested a place where I could get a cheaper tiara (with my long hair and the dress style it looked perfect) because hers were expensive and a little too ornate.
Calypso, and I bet you've given props many times to that wonderful tiny shop!
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As one of four children my parents had, we have a "golden child" in our family, except we call her "The Princess". She's 45 and lives with the parents and has never had a full time steady job. I can definitely see her pulling this kind of thing.
As a 35 year old living with my parents and having never had a job, I feel kind of attacked... but I'm assuming your sister doesn't have any mental illnesses. My life is honestly a living hell, regardless of how comfortable or simple it seems to others
Load More Replies... 𝚂𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠.
My sister did that with drivers licenses... she forbid me from getting mine first even though she failed her written thrice
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Wow what a great soon to be husband! Your fiances family sounds just dreadful and how completely bizarre the way they behaved doesn't even come close to describing their cruel actions. Just because they are your family doesn't mean you have to put up with their toxic personalities.
The fiancée’s family sounds really insensitive, good for the partner for standing up for her.
Screw that and them. Poor girl, but what a beautiful man! She's lucky to have found someone who loves her that much!
Congrats OP I think y'all have dodged the weeding and holidays with these self centered people. WT actual F is wrong with those people. Sorry hun I know you THOUGHT today is going to be about you. Yet we decided to make it about your sister. Like we always do.
Good thing they disinvited the sister. I just have a nagging feeling the sister would wear the dang dress to the wedding...
Everytime I read one of these articles about toxic family members, I am reminded how blessed I am to have the family that I have. My big sister has told me that she knew from our early childhood that her role in life was to be there for me and protect me. My parents have treated us equally all our lives and we have gotten pretty much the same treatment. My sister has epilepsy and this has created a situation in which she can't live on her own anymore, so she is moving back in with our parents, but that will not change how our parents treat us. These parents are being TA and the sister is definitely being TA. I don't understand why the mother would find it appropriate to look at wedding dresses with her not engaged daughter over her engaged daughter. The consultant is also being TA. I don't care what kind of dresses the sister was looking at, her appointment was the bride. The fiance made the right call.
When he said his fiancé was the least selfish person he knew, I immediately thought that it's probably because she has been treated the same way by her family her whole life. She's learned not to ask for things or get upset on her own behalf because they will gaslight her into thinking she's being selfish or dramatic... I know this feeling all too well due to my mom's treatment of me vs. my sister.
What a selfish and mean family. I would have a different wedding somewhere and not tell them anything. Elope on your honeymoon . Perhaps get married closer to a couple of friends so that they don't have to travel. Put in place rules of when you will speak to them and stick to it. Tell them nothing. They will be a continuing fester ever after. AND every best wish for your future together..
You are most certainly NTA. In fact, you have shown how much you love and support her no matter what. I'm proud of her for not caving to her family, too. Having you as support is almost assuredly WHY she is able to be strong. It sounds like her parents and sister may not ever see their multiple errors here, which is sad. Truth is, THEY will be the ones missing out on YOUR lives and grandchildren (should y'all have any). It's good you don't live close. That would be a nightmare. Continue to be supportive. You're a keeper and she's very lucky to have you. Happy wedding day and sending prayers and love for a happy life together!!!
NTA. The sister probably would have worn that dress to your wedding. Wedding dress shopping sucks enough as it is. You get body shamed and the sales tactics are extreme. The experience alone is not fun let alone having a family take it over. Sounds like the family is jealous of your partner.
They all sound so toxic! Good for you for supporting and respecting your fiancé and putting her first! Good luck to both of you!
Not only are neither you nor your fiance TA, but it's quite clear that this is a case of absolute narcissism- of both sister & parents. It baffles the mind, but when it comes down to it, some people are just horrible & if they are family, that doesn't make them less horrible. Sometimes you must ditch toxic people, family included. Just because you are related doesn't mean they can't be awful people & not worthy of your time. Life is far too short for that rubbish. All the best to you & your fiance & surround yourselves with people who are good & kind, regardless of whether you share any dna.
I wonder if the consultant fully understood that sister who was trying on dresses and being fussed over by the parents was *not* the one getting married? Because if that happened in front of me, I would definitely think that I must have gotten my signals crossed about which one was the bride-to-be.
The mother and sister may be relatives, but they're NOT family. As an adult, you have the power to choose who you call family. Relatives are not automatically family, and you DON'T have to keep them around if they're toxic.
The sister is probably a narcissist, and the parents have been allowing her to behave like this her whole life. Maybe they feel guilty that she doesn't have a partner and think it is their fault. That said, enough. They are a bunch of jerks, but she clearly has a loving partner and she can start building her own family (I mean friends--it doesn't have to be children)
Not an asshole, however uninviting them himself was a bit rash without having discussed it with his fiance first. By all means give them a piece of your mind and tell them exactly what you think of their behaviour, but it really should have been her decision to uninvite them. Luckily it seems she is of the same mind, but equally she could have decided that while she doesn't like them or what they did, she wouldn't want to get married without them there. Assholes are clearly the family, but wasn't really his place to decide.
I agree. I also don't necessarily think uninviting them works as an appropriate "punishment" for the parents and sisters being so rude and hurtful during dress shopping.
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I will never figure out some parents, even my own. I was skinny in my high school years and my father doted on me trying to buy me an expensive dress for prom and wanting to spend money on my senior trip. i told him I was happy with a borrowed dress and staying home. He encouraged me to go to school for accounting. Meanwhile, my mother blocks my older sister from college, prom and socializing even though my sister was more popular and got better grades than I did simply because she was overweight all her life and they were "protecting" her from the cruel people of the world. What about treating her equally and letting her have a life of her own?
Parents and the sister are the buttholes. Also the saleswoman is a b******e too.
Sadly, the very thing that a bride looks forward to when getting married is so often marred by the people who accompany them to appointments. Opinionated mothers (especially if making any degree of financial assistance in purchasing the dress), friends/family who get insulting critical about the bride's choices to try on. Not concerned at all about how the bride feels about the choice she makes. It's about how THEY think she should look coming down the aisle. NTA at all. Maybe after your fiancee has recovered a bit from such an emotional upheaval, do call her parents to explain it's also what she has decided. But I'd sure make it a conference call because I would bet something like this has happened her whole life and she may need immediate support during the call. If they made a dress selection appointment so upsetting imagine what they might pull on the wedding day.
And the sister is older too. She doesn't feel a little bad at least?
Narcissists don't allow themselves to feel bad. Everything MUST be about them, or they can't function. They gain their "fuel" from getting what they want, when they want, and by manipulating people into doing just that. Sister would only have felt joy in trying on all those dresses because all the attention was on her. She probably didn't even give her sister a thought.
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Why is it that weddings bring out such horribly rude behavior from people? A wedding is a ceremonial commitment between the 2 persons being married (yeah, yeah - joining families & all that crap). Her sister is a selfish bitch and her parents are the enabling reason why. Have a wonderful wedding & happy marriage, with as little contact with them as possible.
What decent bridal consultant spends more time withe the guest than with the bride, the consultant needs to move to another line of work, she could easily have taken control of the appointment by only focusing on the actual bride. As soon as she started showing the sister/guest dresses and helping her instead of the bride, she was done, in my opinion.
NTA, but he's a sweetie for saying he'll support whatever decision she makes.
it's probably because the sister is older and she should already be married but her parents feel bad and now that she's getting married yeah
They are not right to do that weddings are supposed to be the bride and the grooms special day and all the appointments in between
I would gladly cancel my parents and my sister if that happens to me. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Meaning, the family I choose is stronger than the family I was born to. This is not a matter of pride and ego. This is a matter of three *ssh*les versus one.
So, wait, BP will censor the word w***y, but not censor assholes? Whatever. Anyway, I think the guy made a decent decision. The problem with that decision is that it's now going to be the dominant topic at the wedding. I think, overall, it may ruin the bride's day more than have helped her out. If people aren't asking her directly about what happened and why her parents aren't there, then she will overhear them talking about it. Also asking why her father isn't walking her down the aisle. I really feel sorry for her. I think this day might be ruined regardless of what happens now.
Jesus and his Mother in Heaven..... what is going on nowadays in families...?! I am disgusted.
Otoh, I feel the man made the right choice. Otoh, what a family he's marrying into!
My mother bought my wedding dress second hand. I’d said ivory and no lace so she bought me white and lacy.
Don’t go to the same bridal shop again either. They don’t deserve your business.
Honestly I wish yiu had taken yiur fiancee and gone shopping yiurself. That way nobody would have been upset and there would be no animosity. Life is about affirming yiur position cause often people take your softness to be yiur weakness and ride all over you. So tears have never melted the hearts of the selfish as they live to justify their reasons for doing what they do . Yiur fiancee needs to learn to stand up for herself and maneuver her way around people such as these. They come in the form of family or someone in society at some point or the other. It's not worth having this ugh feeling specially onnyiur wedding day as it breeds anger and anger is not good for the soul . It will go down history of yiur life and leave a scar on the memory of what is supposed to be the most beautiful day of your journey ahead together. She is hurt because she lives them in some corner of her heart , so peace , live life and deal with people carefully by understanding bwhat they are all about .
Almost the same situation occurred to me. When I went to show my mother the dress I had picked out for my wedding, she ignored me the whole time. She was too busy helping my sister pick out a prom dress. Which she then bought for her. My mother didn't help me with my wedding at all (nor did she buy me a prom dress when I went years earlier). I wish I had been brave enough to uninvited her from my wedding. I was so upset I ended up not buying that dress at all and finding another one.
Why not elope or just go to city hall. Then when the smoke clears, maybe for a first anniversary, you can have a "reception" or renew vows. Is a wedding dress all that important to your fiance? Maybe the money should go toward a home or something more practical and renew vows on your 25th anniversary.
In the future, do not underestimate your wife's family. Sadly, you will only be inviting similar behaviors. You have been given a peek into her family's dynamics and they are unlikely to change for the better. Move on and have a great life together.
omg beyond gross behavior. What narcissistic parents & a sister to top it off! Feel bad for the fiancee but yay for her having a great man to back her up! I hope the OP & his finacee have a beautiful drama free wedding all about THEM
Yes her family are aholes. Still, if my fiance took it on himself to uninvite them without consulting me about it, I'd be livid.
She tried to and was told she was being dramatic. Her fiancé stepped in a handled it.
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Since when do we read only Reddit posts here? I enjoy Reddit on my phone and think we should stop copying all the time the posts.
Some of us don't like Reddit. It's not an easy format to scroll through. BP takes the most interesting things from Reddit and other places and puts them in one place. The most liked posts show up first, depending on how you use BoredPanda, so a lot of people were obviously interested in this post.
Load More Replies... This is just too manichean, the point of view of the other side is missing here.
And what point of view would make this ok exactly?
Load More Replies... Serious. The parents and the sister are more toxic than Chernobyl. Imagine being 30 and being so clueless. Them add two more adults whom are over 50. I'd plan my future on having no interaction with them. It boggles the mind.
Load More Replies... Why would you buy a wedding dress if you aren't planning to get married in thу foreseeable future? You may gain or lose wight and this dress won't fit you the very next year, let alone after longer time.
Or she'll complain it's outdated and awnt a new one...
Load More Replies... NTA. The poor girl. This should have been her special day, looking for a dress with sis and mum. That sister is a selfish b!tch and I completely understand the groom's decision. I feel sorry for the bride to be. Aaaaaw, such a negative vibe isn't going to go away and will linger long after the wedding.
Thank you for being the man you are supporting your fiance, you have no idea how little men do this for their significant others. You stood up for her against her own bullying family who made her feel invisible on a day that was meant to be all about her, but instead they wanted to play favorites, and to do it so blatantly in front of your fiance shows the parents and sister neither love or respect her like you do. Both of you stand your ground, if either of you let this slide with the family, they will all disrespect the both of you at any given time because they've been given the green flag to do so. Screw them, you both be happy. Keep doing the fantastic job you're doing and loving your fiance right.
Parents, sister, and consultant are all the AH here. Where does this bride-to-be live? *I'll* go help her find a dress, and she won't even have to pay for a seat for me at the reception.
I'll join too, the girl sounds like she could use a team of supporting humans after that. (I'm also happy to provide keep the fam-away services during the event - free of anything)
Load More Replies... Honey, if your fiance couldn't really find the time to visit her family, and you don't know them well either, that's because they've been AHs her entire life. Trust me. If someone is avoiding their family like the plague, don't talk much about them, etc. there's a reason for it and it's never a positive one. This has been the straw to break the camel's back. And you did what she needed you to do the most: stood up for her, protected her and got her away from a very toxic situation. Good on you both and don't bother letting them back into your lives ever again.
looking forward this couple should gird their loins for 'baby drama', 'new house drama', hell even 'we got a puppy' drama.
Load More Replies... I was bored to tears when my sis dragged me on her dress-hunting wedding-dress excursions. But I still didn't go shopping for one for me. What is with the parents?
It's possible that the parents favoured the older daughter because she was first and the younger daughter may have been an "accident". I suspect they also feel sorry for their older daughter because the younger daughter achieved more in her own life.
Load More Replies... This man is the least asshole person on this planet. Like, god damn he's a good guy. The fact that he not only stood up for her but acknowledged that it's not up to him how this goes forward but that he needed to stand up for her because she deserves to be happy n shouldn't have to deal with that s**t just proves how good of a guy he is. Like... F**k her family. Also, I love how they say "it's none of your business" to him... AFTER they called him to "warn him" about how his wife got upset n how they're not the assholes but she is.... like... okay so it was his business when you thought that he wouldn't get involved or side with you... but then when he does the right thing it's all of the sudden not his business anymore? Y'all involved him before she did! Ugh. This reminds me of my mother n brothers so much. I cut ties with my mom because of similar behavior n it's been the best year of my life since I cut ties. Good riddance. Not the asshole at all! This mans a treasure!
NTA. And good for her not going back to the dress shop. Buying your wedding dress should be fun! I had an appointment at David's Bridal. They were not very friendly when I called. My MoH and I had time to kill until we picked up our moms so we stopped at a tiny bridal shop we had heard of, no appointment. The owner was the sweetest, motherly lady. I tried on 2 dresses. We went back with the moms and that first dress I tried on we knew was the one. It was only $400 (My mom had expected spending up to $2k) and needed minimal alterations. The lady even suggested a place where I could get a cheaper tiara (with my long hair and the dress style it looked perfect) because hers were expensive and a little too ornate.
Calypso, and I bet you've given props many times to that wonderful tiny shop!
Load More Replies... As one of four children my parents had, we have a "golden child" in our family, except we call her "The Princess". She's 45 and lives with the parents and has never had a full time steady job. I can definitely see her pulling this kind of thing.
As a 35 year old living with my parents and having never had a job, I feel kind of attacked... but I'm assuming your sister doesn't have any mental illnesses. My life is honestly a living hell, regardless of how comfortable or simple it seems to others
Load More Replies... 𝚂𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚕𝚒𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚘𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗'𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚕𝚎 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚋𝚎𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚎𝚝 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚠.
My sister did that with drivers licenses... she forbid me from getting mine first even though she failed her written thrice
Load More Replies... Wow what a great soon to be husband! Your fiances family sounds just dreadful and how completely bizarre the way they behaved doesn't even come close to describing their cruel actions. Just because they are your family doesn't mean you have to put up with their toxic personalities.
The fiancée’s family sounds really insensitive, good for the partner for standing up for her.
Screw that and them. Poor girl, but what a beautiful man! She's lucky to have found someone who loves her that much!
Congrats OP I think y'all have dodged the weeding and holidays with these self centered people. WT actual F is wrong with those people. Sorry hun I know you THOUGHT today is going to be about you. Yet we decided to make it about your sister. Like we always do.
Good thing they disinvited the sister. I just have a nagging feeling the sister would wear the dang dress to the wedding...
Everytime I read one of these articles about toxic family members, I am reminded how blessed I am to have the family that I have. My big sister has told me that she knew from our early childhood that her role in life was to be there for me and protect me. My parents have treated us equally all our lives and we have gotten pretty much the same treatment. My sister has epilepsy and this has created a situation in which she can't live on her own anymore, so she is moving back in with our parents, but that will not change how our parents treat us. These parents are being TA and the sister is definitely being TA. I don't understand why the mother would find it appropriate to look at wedding dresses with her not engaged daughter over her engaged daughter. The consultant is also being TA. I don't care what kind of dresses the sister was looking at, her appointment was the bride. The fiance made the right call.
When he said his fiancé was the least selfish person he knew, I immediately thought that it's probably because she has been treated the same way by her family her whole life. She's learned not to ask for things or get upset on her own behalf because they will gaslight her into thinking she's being selfish or dramatic... I know this feeling all too well due to my mom's treatment of me vs. my sister.
What a selfish and mean family. I would have a different wedding somewhere and not tell them anything. Elope on your honeymoon . Perhaps get married closer to a couple of friends so that they don't have to travel. Put in place rules of when you will speak to them and stick to it. Tell them nothing. They will be a continuing fester ever after. AND every best wish for your future together..
You are most certainly NTA. In fact, you have shown how much you love and support her no matter what. I'm proud of her for not caving to her family, too. Having you as support is almost assuredly WHY she is able to be strong. It sounds like her parents and sister may not ever see their multiple errors here, which is sad. Truth is, THEY will be the ones missing out on YOUR lives and grandchildren (should y'all have any). It's good you don't live close. That would be a nightmare. Continue to be supportive. You're a keeper and she's very lucky to have you. Happy wedding day and sending prayers and love for a happy life together!!!
NTA. The sister probably would have worn that dress to your wedding. Wedding dress shopping sucks enough as it is. You get body shamed and the sales tactics are extreme. The experience alone is not fun let alone having a family take it over. Sounds like the family is jealous of your partner.
They all sound so toxic! Good for you for supporting and respecting your fiancé and putting her first! Good luck to both of you!
Not only are neither you nor your fiance TA, but it's quite clear that this is a case of absolute narcissism- of both sister & parents. It baffles the mind, but when it comes down to it, some people are just horrible & if they are family, that doesn't make them less horrible. Sometimes you must ditch toxic people, family included. Just because you are related doesn't mean they can't be awful people & not worthy of your time. Life is far too short for that rubbish. All the best to you & your fiance & surround yourselves with people who are good & kind, regardless of whether you share any dna.
I wonder if the consultant fully understood that sister who was trying on dresses and being fussed over by the parents was *not* the one getting married? Because if that happened in front of me, I would definitely think that I must have gotten my signals crossed about which one was the bride-to-be.
The mother and sister may be relatives, but they're NOT family. As an adult, you have the power to choose who you call family. Relatives are not automatically family, and you DON'T have to keep them around if they're toxic.
The sister is probably a narcissist, and the parents have been allowing her to behave like this her whole life. Maybe they feel guilty that she doesn't have a partner and think it is their fault. That said, enough. They are a bunch of jerks, but she clearly has a loving partner and she can start building her own family (I mean friends--it doesn't have to be children)
Not an asshole, however uninviting them himself was a bit rash without having discussed it with his fiance first. By all means give them a piece of your mind and tell them exactly what you think of their behaviour, but it really should have been her decision to uninvite them. Luckily it seems she is of the same mind, but equally she could have decided that while she doesn't like them or what they did, she wouldn't want to get married without them there. Assholes are clearly the family, but wasn't really his place to decide.
I agree. I also don't necessarily think uninviting them works as an appropriate "punishment" for the parents and sisters being so rude and hurtful during dress shopping.
Load More Replies... I will never figure out some parents, even my own. I was skinny in my high school years and my father doted on me trying to buy me an expensive dress for prom and wanting to spend money on my senior trip. i told him I was happy with a borrowed dress and staying home. He encouraged me to go to school for accounting. Meanwhile, my mother blocks my older sister from college, prom and socializing even though my sister was more popular and got better grades than I did simply because she was overweight all her life and they were "protecting" her from the cruel people of the world. What about treating her equally and letting her have a life of her own?
Parents and the sister are the buttholes. Also the saleswoman is a b******e too.
Sadly, the very thing that a bride looks forward to when getting married is so often marred by the people who accompany them to appointments. Opinionated mothers (especially if making any degree of financial assistance in purchasing the dress), friends/family who get insulting critical about the bride's choices to try on. Not concerned at all about how the bride feels about the choice she makes. It's about how THEY think she should look coming down the aisle. NTA at all. Maybe after your fiancee has recovered a bit from such an emotional upheaval, do call her parents to explain it's also what she has decided. But I'd sure make it a conference call because I would bet something like this has happened her whole life and she may need immediate support during the call. If they made a dress selection appointment so upsetting imagine what they might pull on the wedding day.
And the sister is older too. She doesn't feel a little bad at least?
Narcissists don't allow themselves to feel bad. Everything MUST be about them, or they can't function. They gain their "fuel" from getting what they want, when they want, and by manipulating people into doing just that. Sister would only have felt joy in trying on all those dresses because all the attention was on her. She probably didn't even give her sister a thought.
Load More Replies... Why is it that weddings bring out such horribly rude behavior from people? A wedding is a ceremonial commitment between the 2 persons being married (yeah, yeah - joining families & all that crap). Her sister is a selfish bitch and her parents are the enabling reason why. Have a wonderful wedding & happy marriage, with as little contact with them as possible.
What decent bridal consultant spends more time withe the guest than with the bride, the consultant needs to move to another line of work, she could easily have taken control of the appointment by only focusing on the actual bride. As soon as she started showing the sister/guest dresses and helping her instead of the bride, she was done, in my opinion.
NTA, but he's a sweetie for saying he'll support whatever decision she makes.
it's probably because the sister is older and she should already be married but her parents feel bad and now that she's getting married yeah
They are not right to do that weddings are supposed to be the bride and the grooms special day and all the appointments in between
I would gladly cancel my parents and my sister if that happens to me. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. Meaning, the family I choose is stronger than the family I was born to. This is not a matter of pride and ego. This is a matter of three *ssh*les versus one.
So, wait, BP will censor the word w***y, but not censor assholes? Whatever. Anyway, I think the guy made a decent decision. The problem with that decision is that it's now going to be the dominant topic at the wedding. I think, overall, it may ruin the bride's day more than have helped her out. If people aren't asking her directly about what happened and why her parents aren't there, then she will overhear them talking about it. Also asking why her father isn't walking her down the aisle. I really feel sorry for her. I think this day might be ruined regardless of what happens now.
Jesus and his Mother in Heaven..... what is going on nowadays in families...?! I am disgusted.
Otoh, I feel the man made the right choice. Otoh, what a family he's marrying into!
My mother bought my wedding dress second hand. I’d said ivory and no lace so she bought me white and lacy.
Don’t go to the same bridal shop again either. They don’t deserve your business.
Honestly I wish yiu had taken yiur fiancee and gone shopping yiurself. That way nobody would have been upset and there would be no animosity. Life is about affirming yiur position cause often people take your softness to be yiur weakness and ride all over you. So tears have never melted the hearts of the selfish as they live to justify their reasons for doing what they do . Yiur fiancee needs to learn to stand up for herself and maneuver her way around people such as these. They come in the form of family or someone in society at some point or the other. It's not worth having this ugh feeling specially onnyiur wedding day as it breeds anger and anger is not good for the soul . It will go down history of yiur life and leave a scar on the memory of what is supposed to be the most beautiful day of your journey ahead together. She is hurt because she lives them in some corner of her heart , so peace , live life and deal with people carefully by understanding bwhat they are all about .
Almost the same situation occurred to me. When I went to show my mother the dress I had picked out for my wedding, she ignored me the whole time. She was too busy helping my sister pick out a prom dress. Which she then bought for her. My mother didn't help me with my wedding at all (nor did she buy me a prom dress when I went years earlier). I wish I had been brave enough to uninvited her from my wedding. I was so upset I ended up not buying that dress at all and finding another one.
Why not elope or just go to city hall. Then when the smoke clears, maybe for a first anniversary, you can have a "reception" or renew vows. Is a wedding dress all that important to your fiance? Maybe the money should go toward a home or something more practical and renew vows on your 25th anniversary.
In the future, do not underestimate your wife's family. Sadly, you will only be inviting similar behaviors. You have been given a peek into her family's dynamics and they are unlikely to change for the better. Move on and have a great life together.
omg beyond gross behavior. What narcissistic parents & a sister to top it off! Feel bad for the fiancee but yay for her having a great man to back her up! I hope the OP & his finacee have a beautiful drama free wedding all about THEM
Yes her family are aholes. Still, if my fiance took it on himself to uninvite them without consulting me about it, I'd be livid.
She tried to and was told she was being dramatic. Her fiancé stepped in a handled it.
Load More Replies... Since when do we read only Reddit posts here? I enjoy Reddit on my phone and think we should stop copying all the time the posts.
Some of us don't like Reddit. It's not an easy format to scroll through. BP takes the most interesting things from Reddit and other places and puts them in one place. The most liked posts show up first, depending on how you use BoredPanda, so a lot of people were obviously interested in this post.
Load More Replies... This is just too manichean, the point of view of the other side is missing here.
And what point of view would make this ok exactly?
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