ADVERTISEMENT

People talk so much every day, you'd think we'd run out of things to say. But we're as good with words as the weather is with ruining a perfectly fine day. Just take a look at the subreddit r/BrandNewSentence, for example. From the divorce rate among socks to the crotch fruit we make our employees, its members collect sentences they think have never been written before, and their collection is pretty impressive. Continue scrolling and take a look at some of the subreddit's top posts.

#1

Name That Death Megatron 300

Name That Death Megatron 300

exhaggerated_imagine Report

#2

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

We’ll Keep Ye Plump As A Partridge

benphillip Report

Add photo comments
POST
sammyanne1_sh avatar
Helen Haley
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My metabolism is confused about the weather. It is convinced that winter is coming, and I must be prepared with internal fuel.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

As soon as we put originality and language in the same equation, I can't help but think about the infinite monkey theorem. It states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost certainly type any given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

In fact, we can make it even more extreme: the monkey would almost surely type every possible finite text an infinite number of times. But the probability that monkeys filling the entire observable universe would type a single complete work, such as Shakespeare's Hamlet, is so tiny that the chance of it occurring during a period of time hundreds of thousands of orders of magnitude longer than the age of the universe is extremely low. Technically, however, it is not zero.

#4

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

I Do Not Vibe With This Soil

meme_mayezster Report

Add photo comments
POST
ryandeschanel avatar
Ryan Deschanel
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I planted seeds in a flower bed... They did not grow, except I the alley.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#5

Soak It In Olive Oil

Soak It In Olive Oil

2Apples3 Report

r/BrandNewSentence has a lot of sentences that strike the perfect balance between poetry and logic. In other words, they're vivid and they make sense. They're memorable. Like a good slogan. Or a song chorus that gets stuck in your head. But personally, I think the best brand new sentence came even before the Internet.

ADVERTISEMENT

"For sale: baby shoes, never worn." The story goes that this particular quote is a testament to Ernest Hemingway's extraordinary talent. Allegedly, these six words were a result of a $10 bet among Hemingway and several writers at a lunch spiced with wordplay

#7

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

Brad And His Cloud Of Lies

doenerzwerg Report

#8

Marked Slices Of Tree

Marked Slices Of Tree

KatieOldham Report

Add photo comments
POST
lisa-warndorff avatar
I want cake
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I definitely don't 'hallucinate' when I read. I love reading but have little to no visual imagination. I just love language and the associations the right combination of words can create, and when I read, I'm super focused on the use of language and the cadence of the writing. I will on occasion reread a section multiple times just because it was written so ridiculously well it makes me giddy.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

People say Hemingway asked each of his colleagues to place a $10 wager, and in return, he would match it. His task was to create this shortest of stories.

The only problem is, Hemingway may have never written it. Or if he did, the story wasn't entirely his invention. Similar "ads" have been recorded years earlier. But no matter who came up with it, I believe this piece of flash fiction would get a lot of upvotes on r/BrandNewSentence.

#9

No No, He's Got A Point

No No, He's Got A Point

Adm1sty Report

Add photo comments
POST
rkalligas avatar
bloatednoone avatar
qwerty
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agreed. I know that there will be people who disagree, but no sex offender should ever be given a second chance.

Load More Replies...
tammylshoemaker1 avatar
222T111
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My neighbor was a nurse in Ohio at one of the prisons that house mostly sex offenders for 34 years. I asked her if she thinks they can be rehabilitated. With no pause she screamed “NO!” 32 years with the worst of the worst and she said she never met one she thought had a chance.

mariacurtis avatar
alexk_1 avatar
Alex K
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because they make money without paying taxes, and government doesn't like competition

griffinx avatar
Fluffy Griffin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The only rapists I would consider worthy of a short sentence (or no sentence) would be the "statutory rape" that is between two consenting teenagers that are very close in age. (Like an 18 and 17 yo)

vt_shinomi avatar
Shinomi Chan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

All Rapists and Pedophiles should be put into one big deep pit, and leave them there. See what happens until they all die.

beth_wallace33 avatar
Maria Wallace
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rapist and pedophiles should have their thumbs and big toe cut off

adamserot avatar
Frankenfrog
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wouldn't want either. Don't want a rapist and don't want someone who wrecks people's lives and put them in danger

kaiweetoh avatar
Kai Wee Toh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because drug dealers destroy many many many lives. Not just that of the addicts, but also the lives of the ones closest to them.

bloatednoone avatar
mark_wkelly avatar
Mark Kelly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Drug kingpins orders murders. I'd like to see all those and rapists get stiff sentences.

kjl01 avatar
Karen Lyon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well: it's an interesting point. I mean this as no disrespect to anyone out there who has been a victim of sexual assault, and I can't speak to the trauma to other family members when someone they love is sexually assaulted. I have seen the effects of addiction, though -- on parents, on siblings, on the children of the addicted. I think drug dealers ruin more lives than rapists.

temeriti avatar
Tara B.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having worked extensively with some pretty gruesome sex offenders (prison psychology), I can confirm that for 99.9% of them, rehabilitation is a farce. They parrot the material and say all the right things, then go out and reoffend. It’s sickening. So yeah bruh. Sell your pot, and give the rapist 25 years.

9360swilli avatar
Susan Williams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can make a drug dealer stop dealing. Once a sex offender, always a sex offender. Leaving a trail of traumatized girls who grow up into traumatized women.

tyusoliver avatar
surprised pikachu
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

Load More Replies...
9unicorn avatar
Mickie Shea
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cause smoking is bad for the lungs of the smoker, especially. The law is not equitable, it's more absurd.

backatya7 avatar
backatya
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Terrorist and traders get 10 yrs or less. They should serve life if not executed

ambarsanchezcuello avatar
Ambar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THIS NEEDS TO BE ON BILLBORADS! TV SHOWS EVERYWHERE!!!!!

badgirl407 avatar
Pasion Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

facts! as long as he not cooking up nothing we good!!! lmao dont need any Walter Whites

paulaguilera avatar
Paul Aguilera
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i wish all of america had the death penalty, it would solve so many problems if we just kill off the bad apples

melissa_9 avatar
Melissa Nunya
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as Pablo the plug isn't making meth, I have an aversion to having my house blow up

ayupama avatar
ayupama
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about the white collar criminals? They would never affect you. So, should they be free? Please, be more coherent!

alexboomhower avatar
Alex Boomhower
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also drug dealers know how to party. Rapists are just greasy.

pom avatar
humdrum
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I'll have Randy the rapist, then. I wouldn't expect either one of them to respect women, but Pablo will attract idiots at all hours and Randy will sneak out quietly every night.

macysharp avatar
AnonymousBtch
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But Randy would rape you. Youd just have idiots next door if it was Pablo. Youd have the fear of being raped if it was Randy.

Load More Replies...
johntopper avatar
John Topper
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Because rich white people like to rape. Honestly it's a wonder rape is illegal at all when you take that into account.

mhklevgard avatar
Melvin Dragvelk
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Well the Rapist generally leaves his house to commit his crime, whereas the drug dealer has hundreds of criminals coming to his house. And how do the druggies get money for drugs? Robbing people, like your house next door.

jadewilliamson89 avatar
Jade Lynn - Panda's Brat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not everyone who does drugs is a criminal, or even addicted to drugs. Some people do them for fun on the weekends after work. Also most people who buy drugs would not be stupid enough to rob the house beside their dealer, because their dealer would not put up with that s**t at all. That's a good way to get on the bad side of a drug dealer.

Load More Replies...
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#11

Lesbians To The Rescue

Lesbians To The Rescue

cloddishThyme983 Report

#16

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

“I Was So Insulted I Woke Up”

Blackpanther786110 Report

#17

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

Those Are The Holes Poked In The Container So We Can Breathe

reddit.com Report

#18

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

A Brain The Size Of A Chocolate Chip

highway_40 Report

Add photo comments
POST
meinespammailadresse1 avatar
A B C
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At what point in time this self-deprecation has become mainstream in the internet, and why?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#19

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

Spare Me The Itch Juice, Thank You

notsofancymum Report

Add photo comments
POST
masselabel avatar
Gandalf the Pink
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The itch juice is their saliva 💦💦 your body's immune system reacts to it with histamine making the area itch. They actually need to spit in the hole they made because their saliva works as an anticoagulant, meaning that your blood doesn't immediately clot and repair the hole, so they can drink until they're full.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#20

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

The Future Is Meaningless But The Pasta Is Now

Matelord99 Report

Add photo comments
POST
alexmehlberlin avatar
Alex the awful German
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate to be the "smartass": But this is how our mind actually works. It is really interesting, and there is scientific proof. Some of you might have read "the chimp paradox" by Prof. Steve Peters. There you will find the details about it.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#22

I Am Chorizo

I Am Chorizo

kevinowdziej Report

#23

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

Be The Inexplicable Phenomena You Wish To See In The World

yoyoha Report

#24

Floppy Discs

Floppy Discs

karenvideoeditor Report

Add photo comments
POST
lindacowley avatar
Auntriarch
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Never mind the computers, how about the printers that were so noisy they had their own room. Bit like my brother really

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#25

World Changer

World Changer

ronnui_ Report

#26

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

“Gays Are Using Windmills To Waft Homosexual Mists Into Your Home”

jackwick23 Report

#27

Crotch Fruit Employees

Crotch Fruit Employees

MaxQuill Report

Add photo comments
POST
bryguy369 avatar
bryguy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

y'all gots some kids y'all can use to gets y'all some stuffs whens y'alls wants some stuffs?!?!?! ...like really. I can't stand reading that s**t.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#28

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

Have We Checked All Food To See If Exploding Them Makes Them Into Something Better, Or Did We Just Stop With Corn?

ShinigamiDady Report

Add photo comments
POST
ii_3 avatar
I I
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no ive blown many types of bean up in the microwave by accident , if you're after a big mess go with beans

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#29

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

“Are Millennials Killing The Serial Killer Industry?”

lindsaybauer36 Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#31

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

Classic Jesus Or Republican Jesus?

praaany Report

#33

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

Cotton Eye Joe Has Been Terminated

SwipingNoSwiper Report

Add photo comments
POST
nfrlprdpr avatar
Mazer
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awww, spidey boi be the best room mates. Gets rid of bugs and adorns the place with lacey goodness

View more commentsArrow down menu
#34

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Two Mini Hellpanthers

Lemightyman Report

#36

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Smoked Myself Back To Segregation

Capt_of_the_Borealis Report

Add photo comments
POST
kathrynbaylis_1 avatar
Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thought you had some powerful, time machine weed. Oh, would that there was such magic in the world. But I dream.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#39

Wiggles Concert

Wiggles Concert

Daniel_Min Report

Add photo comments
POST
stijn_vlas avatar
elStiJneriNO
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

why not take your progeny to italy? they only like spaghetti anyway

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#41

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

Funniest Sh*t I've Seen All Week

reddit.com Report

#43

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

Cyberbullied And Entire Studio

drnkchineseboi Report

#44

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

LEGO Ass Of A Fictional Bipedal Animal

CrimsonComet777 Report

#45

Cool Sport Rush

Cool Sport Rush

RyckandMorti Report

Add photo comments
POST
southon avatar
Bobert Robertson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of the lady from a few months ago that didn't want to smell like lavender, and instead wanted to smell like Eagle Claw Mountain or something

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#46

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

One Nice Way To Feel Better About Yourself Is To Imagine What Steve Irwin Would Say About You If You Were A Little Snake He Found In The Desert

markedly Report

Add photo comments
POST
rkalligas avatar
Friday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Crikey! Have a look at this little ripper, isn’t she a beaut?! You know, you can touch a stick of dynamite, but if you touch a venomous snake it’ll turn around and bite you and kill you so fast it’s not even funny. Give her plenty of space and she’ll be right.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#47

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

Dress For The Jockey You Want, Not The Jockey You Have

genius23sarcasm Report

Add photo comments
POST
alexmehlberlin avatar
Alex the awful German
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have the vision of an old fashioned british cottage, where there is a house with a polished brass sign saying "HORSE TAYLOR"

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#48

Life Pro Tip

Life Pro Tip

UnculturedYam Report

Add photo comments
POST
baconycakes1337 avatar
Bacony Cakes
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE PFWHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#49

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

Life Is A Tornado And I’m Just A Cow Being Spun Around For Cinematic Value

MartinniTheJawa Report

#50

Snarrot

Snarrot

s3csh3n8 Report

Note: this post originally had 137 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.

See Also on Bored Panda