Sometimes our brains just stop functioning and we do some seriously bizarre stuff. Probably all of us have heard of or experienced 'brain farts' or 'brain.exe stopped working,' and the results of the phenomena are usually pretty strange and hilarious. That is why after this Redditor asked: "What is the most bizarre thing you've caught yourself doing after your brain's autopilot misfired?" it resulted in some amazing and engaging stories.
People shared loads of amazing examples about this topic, from leaving things in the fridge, to getting ready for high school when they're all grown up. Do you have any brain farts to share? Please do so in the comment section below! And if you're interested in more of this type of content click here.
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Cup of coffee in left hand, phone in the right hand. Go to my room, take a sip of my phone and throw coffee on the bed.
We talked to Dr. Gleb Tsipursky about this topic and he gave some amazing insights: "Researchers have discovered that we have, roughly speaking, two systems that determine our mental processes: the 'autopilot system' and 'intentional system.' The autopilot system corresponds to our emotions and intuitions. This system evolved to help us survive in the ancestral savanna environment and mostly relies on the amygdala, the older part of the brain. It guides our daily habits, helps us make snap decisions, and reacts instantly to dangerous life-and-death situations. The snap judgments resulting from intuitions and emotions usually feel 'true' and 'right' precisely because they are fast and powerful. We feel very comfortable when we go with them. Decisions arising from our gut reactions are indeed often right in those situations that resemble the ancient savanna."
Turned around and went back home because I forgot my car keys.
I was driving.
I used to work at McDonald's drive-thru. 5 days a week, 8hrs a day; so I had been hard-wired to say, "Welcome to McDonald's. How can I help you today?" Every single time I heard the headset beep. Straight-up Pavlovian.
One day there was a particularly wily fly that was always just a second ahead of me. I became very focused on killing this fly.
I don't know how many times I said it before a coworker finally stopped laughing long enough to tell me, but it turns out I'd been saying "Welcome to McDonald's. How can I kill you today?" To every car in the drive-thru.
Not one customer even paused or acknowledged the fact that Ronald McDonald threatened them with murder. They just wanted their goddamn nuggets.
However, Dr. Gleb shared that the 'autopilot' isn't really necessary anymore: "Unfortunately, in too many cases they’re wrong. Our modern environments have many elements that are unlike the savanna. With growing technological disruption, ranging from teleconferences to social media, our modern world looks less and less like our ancestral environment. The autopilot system will therefore increasingly lead us to make disastrous decisions, in systematic and predictable ways, which are called cognitive biases."
I sat there at an intersection in suburban Palo Alto at 11PM, patiently waiting for the stop sign to change.
Drunk drivers will run through a stop sign; stoned drivers wait for it to turn green.
When I was in high school and living on the family farm, I used to feed the horses and barn cats every morning. Waking up at 6am for this as a 16 year old guaranteed that I was half asleep. So, I grabbed the cat food like I always did, walked to the table where my cat's bowl was like I always did, and poured some in. My cat always jumped up on the table right away to start eating right away, and one morning as something jumped up in front of me I absentmindedly pet it as usual. The hair felt a little rough so I looked down and instead of my friendly orange cat, there was a skunk. Just chilling there eating the cat food while I pet its back.
Dr. Gleb explains the intentional system in our brains that contrasts the autopilot: "The intentional system, by contrast, reflects rational and analytical thinking. It centers around the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that evolved more recently. This thinking system helps us handle more complex mental activities, such as managing individual and group relationships, logical reasoning, abstract thinking, evaluating probabilities, and learning new information, skills, and habits. While the automatic system requires no conscious effort to function, using the intentional system requires a deliberate effort to and is mentally tiring. Fortunately, with enough motivation and appropriate training, you can learn to turn on the intentional system in situations where the autopilot system is prone to make systematic and predictable errors."
As a teenager, I worked at McDonald's. My McDonald's was 24 hours and, during the summer, I worked the overnight shift. My sleep schedule would get all messed up.
My parents woke me up for dinner one evening. I zombie walked to the table and sat down. My dad asked me to say grace. I bow my head and say, "thank you for choosing McDonald's, may I take your order?"
"One side of nuggets pls" "that’ll be $4.99” “Ok now say the blessing pls” “Welcome to McDonald’s. How can I kill you today?"
I took the metro home then realized i drove to work.. that was a long night.
hahahaha same! I went home commuting late at night even though I used my motorcycle at morning going for work.
"We tend to think of ourselves as rational thinkers, usually using the intentional system. Unfortunately, that’s not the case. The autopilot system is by far the more powerful of the two systems, determining 80-90 percent of what we do, think, feel, and decide. Our emotions often overwhelm our reason. Moreover, our intuition and habits dominate the majority of our lives. We’re usually in autopilot mode. That’s not a bad thing at all, as it would be mentally exhausting to think through our every action and decision. However, it’s bad when this system makes the same errors, again and again. Fortunately, you can use your intentional system to interrupt these errors. You can change your automatic thinking, feeling, and behavior patterns to avoid mental blind spots."
I made the best ever chicken stock, lovingly simmered for 24 hours. Then, without thinking, I put the colander in the sink and tipped the stock down the drain, saving the scraps. I cried.
I would cry too, although i cry over more things than i should. "No use crying over spilled milk" BUT WHAT IF IT SPILLS ON MY LAPTOP
Was jogging late at night. A guy reached out his hand in front of me as I passed.
I high-fived him.
Turns out he was hailing a taxi.
All in all, both of these parts of our brain are quite important: "It’s crucial to recognize that these two systems of thinking are counterintuitive. They don’t align with our conscious self-perception. Your mind feels like a cohesive whole. Unfortunately, this self-perception is simply a comfortable myth that helps you make it through the day. There is no actual 'there' there; your sense of self is a construct that results from multiple complex mental processes within the autopilot and intentional system. When I first found that out, it blew my mind (every part of it). It takes a bit of time to incorporate this realization into your mental model of yourself and others, in other words, how you perceive your mind to work. Bottom line is that you’re not who you think you are."
1. Unwrap candy.
2. Throw candy in trash
3. Stare at wrapper
I woke up from a deep sleep having the feeling that there was an earthquake going on so naturally I call to my wife who I realized was in the living room reading and asked her if everything was okay and she asked why? I said there was just an earthquake is everything okay she said no you just farted in your sleep and woke yourself up. I went back to bed....
We also spoke to Instagram account Psychology Facts (we made an article about them which you can check out by clicking here) and they also shared their insights on this topic: "The human brain's autopilot system, also known as the default mode network, can sometimes lead to bizarre or unexpected behavior. The default mode network is a group of brain regions that are active when an individual is not focused on a specific task. It is thought to play a role in self-reflection, planning, and daydreaming. When the default mode network is active, an individual may find themselves engaging in behaviors that seem unusual or unexpected to others, as their brain is not fully focused on the present moment."
I dropped my pants when going through TSA....For those who fly in the super early morning it can be rough. I purposely didn't drink coffee so I could sleep on the plane...
I was on the security line, and did the normal routine of taking stuff out of my pockets and putting them in my laptop bag. Then off with the shoes, placed on top of my luggage, then off comes the belt as usual. Then of course when you take off your belt you take off your pants.....uhhh Nope damnit. Put them back on and WTFed for a moment as I finished up in security. Luckily not *that many* people fly at like 430am.
I bet if you'd just kept going, real casual and folded them up and just continued in your underwear, somebody would've potentially followed suit thinking security has just updated to be stricter yet again
Tapped a picture in the newspaper hoping to see the full article. Took me a good 5 seconds to realize where I messed up.
I once clicked a video pause button… in a damn photo in a book
"For example, someone might find themselves absentmindedly walking into a room and forgetting why they went there, or getting lost in thought while driving and missing their turn. These behaviors can be a result of the brain's autopilot system misfiring, as the individual's attention is not fully on the task at hand."
Rubbed aftershave in my hair and put gel on my face.
The worst part was that after I put the aftershave in my hair, I laughed at myself, thought, "F**k, what was all that about?" and then added the hair gel to my skin.
Once my brother put his shampoo on his shower towel, then proceeded to shower, without washing his dusty hair, and it was hilarious. Came out smelling for all he's worth like shampoo.
Drove to work and realized when I got to the parking lot that I forgot to drop the kids at school. The kids knew too and stayed quiet thinking they'd get to miss school. Love those sneaky little devils.
A bit like the woman who left her toddler in the car instead of dropping her off at daycare and didn't realise it until she heard a little voice say "Yay I get to go to work with Mommy!" (She realised how badly it could have ended if the kid hadn't spoken up, and sensibly took it as a warning to take some time off and get more sleep).
They also shared their own personal experience with autopilot: "The most bizarre thing I’ve caught myself doing after my brain’s autopilot misfired was when I was still in high school. I was in a classroom and everyone was dead silent because we were working on our homework, and most of us wore earbuds and listened to music while working. I remember listening to 'Black and Yellow' from Wiz Khalifa, which I apparently found an incredible song as a 12-year-old, because I remember that out of nowhere, I started singing along loud and clear with the chorus. I did this for around 5 seconds before I noticed everyone was staring at me, and I should probably stop distracting the rest of the class."
Night before last, I went to the back yard to bring the dog into the house. Autopilot moved my feet 10 or so steps out the door, telling the "dog" to come in. My brain then caught up and remembered the dog was in bed and I was indeed approaching a black bear that was eating watermelon rinds from the trash can.
I had a very long day of computer drafting, think +12 hours sitting and staring at .5mm lines, and got really lost so I asked the person next to me what the hell I did wrong because they seemed like they would absolutely have the explanation. I got most of the way through the answer before I realized not only had I asked my frazzled reflection a question, but I also calmly and matter-of-factly responded. I went home after that.
"It's important to note that the default mode network serves important functions in the brain, and it is not always a negative thing when it is active. The human brain's autopilot system serves a number of important functions in the brain that help to support mental health and well-being. It allows individuals to take a break from the demands of the outside world and engage in activities that support self-reflection, planning, and creativity. While the default mode network can sometimes lead to unexpected or bizarre behavior when it causes an individual to become disengaged from their surroundings, it serves important functions in the brain and is not always a negative thing when it is active."
The two that come to mind are while playing XBOX I got up to get a drink, then sit back down and can't find my freaking controller. I'm tearing cushions apart, looking under stuff, looking in drawers, etc. Turns out I took a soda out of the fridge and put the controller in the spot I took it from.
The other one happened the other day. Drove home from work, parked, went upstairs, opened the door, started to take off shirt. Then I remembered it was the middle of my shift and I hadn't left to go home, but just go buy a drink.
That second one is my nightmare, when I am home, there is no leaving for work until the next day.
Once I was laying in bed very tired watching tv. All the characters on the show piled into a car together, and I thought for a second "s**t I forgot to put my seatbelt on" before realizing I was safely in bed and no where near a car.
HAHAHAHA dude its1:30 an and Im trying to laugh quietly so I don’t wake up everyone else
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I was playing guitar and reached to grab a cracker, then I ate my pick.
Jumped out of bed frantically. Put my clothes on. Brushed all the s**t on my floor under my bed..paused. And realised its 3am in the morning and I don't have school. I'm 23.
My sister had a brain fart and left the water running in the kitchen.
I went to turn it off, and flipped the kitchen light switch. Repeatedly. Then started cussing when the switch wouldn't cut the water off. Then got my tool box and started taking the faceplate off the light switch so I could see why it wasn't cutting the water off.
At that point my other sister, who witnessed all of this, kindly pointed out that I had lost my ever loving mind and cut the water off herself.
When I was around 13 or 14 I woke up in the middle of the night, in my own bed and room, and thought to myself: I need to go home before my parents realize I'm not home. So I sneak out of the house, part of me obviously aware that my parents were sleeping and I needed to be quiet, and walked a block away. Then I realized I had been in my own room and just thought what the hell am I doing. So I walked back and snuck back into bed. So weird
After an 8 hour day of cashiering at Target(which has so many robotic-small talk conversations), I stopped at the dollar store. The conversation went something like:
Cashier: Hi, how are you?
Me: Good, how are you?
Cashier: I'm good, thanks.
Me: That's good. Did you find everything okay today?
That conversation was had to the effect of everyone in line and the cashier looking at me like I was psycho.
edit: I'm glad I'm not the only one who's done awk things on cashier autopilot! And thanks for the gold! <3
I once got my car impounded via brain-autopilot.
I lived across the street from a gas station and didn't drive very often. Once I was filling it up, went inside to buy something, forgot I was getting gas, and walked home.
A few days later I reported my car stolen since I couldn't find it in the apartment garage. About a month later I get a call from the police, saying my car had gone up for auction and only then was it discovered it had been reported stolen. I had to pay about $1500 in impound fees to get it back.
Definitely one of the dumbest things I've ever done.
Don't they try and contact the owners of the car first before they auction it?
There was a 6.0 earthquake at about 3 am so i was asleep. The quake lasted 20 seconds and I woke up about 16 seconds in standing in the hallway hugging a vase. What the f**k.
NOT THE VASE! YOU MAY TAKE MY OTHER BELONGINGS, O FURIOUS AND MIGHTY EARTHQUAKE, BUT NOT MY VASE
The night before my very first day at work where I have to bring my own lunch. I got all the ingredients out to make my sandwich for tomorrow and immediately after I made it I walked into the living room turned on the tv and ate it.
Tried to turn the sun off.
Bad hangover, opened my back door, feeling for the light switch.
No light switch, the light was day.
Came into work to work front of house after several extended nights of profound insomnia. I was holding up ok until a gal walks up with a dog in her arms. I always chat people up about their dogs because A. Dogs are awesome and B. people love to talk about their dogs, and often tip a little more when they feel like they've actually connected with you.
Today though... I didn't have two neurons to rub together to break from the script of "hey what can I get you... here's your total... do you want a receipt?" and so I lean over the counter like a drunk, lock my sleep-starved, unfocused googly eyes on this poor lady, and blurt out-
"your dog. Who is he" and then expectantly stare at her like that was a normal and not at all insane thing that I just kinda vomited at her. She kinda stared at me and clutched her dog a little closer and I think I probably went a little cross-eyed and tried to salvage the conversation by talking more. I don't remember what I said but it was definitely not an improvement on the situation. It may not have even been a coherent sentence.
Sleep deprivation does wonderfully disastrous things to people
Let's just say that now whenever I'm looking for my phone, the first thing I check is to see if it's currently in my hands.
I meant to put a brand new roll of toilet paper on the roll and instead just plopped it in the toilet.
Walked into the bathroom at work to pee, and instead of unzipping my fly, I unbuttoned my dress shirt, took it off, then took off my white undershirt as well. Then realized I was standing shirtless at a urinal and wtf'd.
Put cat food in the coffee maker. 10/10 would not recommend.
I am curious- did the cat enjoy it?? You did give it to the cat... right???
Trying to get into a random person's car because I thought it was my friend's. The person whose car I was attempting to break into was very terrified.
dude. I would’ve been terrified if some weirdo started trying to get into my car
That happened to me once. I was sitting in my car outside a shop waiting for my mom. An old man opened the passenger side door, got in, stared at me for a few moments, looked around in the car, opened the door and got out. I think the funniest thing is that not a single word was exchanged 🤣🤣 He was pretty old and harmless looking so I wasn't terrified. Under different circumstances I probably would have been.
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I got into the wrong car after paying for petrol…same make, same colour. Only this car had a guy in the passenger seat. It took way too long to sink in, too. Luckily the guy thought it was hilarious.
Oooooohhh...I thought I was gonna get my butt kicked for something like this. Leaving a store, I walked up to a green minivan to find my key didn't work. Confusion began to set when I noticed that the interior was different...stepped back and saw MY van 2 spaces up. As I'm about to scurry away, the owner of the first van comes up and says "What the hell are you doing!?" After stuttering a bit, I just pointed and said "They're twins!" Owner lady was skeptical, but when she saw they were the exact same, she understood.
Friend of mine went out partying, got in what he thought was his car, went home. Next morning, police showed up, and he was super confused. They accused him of grand theft auto. Nope, sure enough, friend's car and other car were same make, same model, same year... AND SAME KEY. Other dude drove friend's car home. They met and swapped.
The is happened to me, husband had a new car and I ran into the shop for something. Came back out and tried the door handle, was getting really annoyed so was telling him not to be a di*k and unlock the door. The car behind me beeped with my husband rolling around laughing. I apologised to the lady in the car who was also laughing, and went and slumped into my seat in the right car.
I came out of a 7-11 once then proceeded to try to open the back passenger door to put the bag in, I started to hear a car horn , as I turned around it was my husband son looking at me, I was mortified, luckily the lady in car had a good laugh
Happened to me twice. First time, I went out from the office and saw our grey peugeot four meters from the hall. Got inside and said Hello, luv to a totally perfect stranger. We stare each other for a long moment totally speechlesses, then we noticed my husband, near our grey Peugeot, TWO meters from the hall, who was waiving to me and at the same time laughing incontrollably. Second time, I was with a white Toyota and had very little hours of sleep in those weeks. Got out to buy a parking meter ticket, went back and found a lady who was doing stuff near the car. Looked at her deadly and silently, she seemed agaze but backed off. So I got inside the car to leave the ticket and thought "when I bought this freshener? ... And the wheel... Has it always had this texture?" And fast I got out from the lady's white Renault parked on the right of my car.
Or after work, getting into a car exactly like mine (co workers), wondering why it smelled so fresh (I smoke). Took a minute. We did not lock our doors then.
My mom did this while in a grocery store parking lot. So, we have a white car and we are parked next to a white car. My mom went to go put the cart back and I'm in the front seat waiting for her and she comes to my side of the car unexpectedly and opens the car next to me and not our car. The elderly man inside the car was ofc like WTF but then he just laughed because he saw me almost in tears from embarrassment and laughing soooo much but my mom was just horrified but I'm not letting her live that down EVER!!!
LOL I've done that waiting for someone. These girls pulled up in a very similar looking car, I got in and started talking to them like I knew them. It took me a hot second to realize I knew no one in there and got out. They were so weirded out. I was apologizing profusely as I got out. I was scared they were going to call the cops on me LOL.
Accidentally entered into a stranger's car is not a rare occurance. Most people will understand the mixed-up once they see a similar colored car nearby. My wife and I each drive different cars. Different models with different colors. Imagine one driver's confusion when my wife jumped into his car and then quickly dashed out to another car which was in totally different model and color.
I had a brain fart when I went to visit my now-dog as a puppy. Had to pay an advance payment to "reservate" him, so I drove with my husband to a cash machine, and headed back to what I thought was our car ( blue BMW, black interior) I get into the car, said "I got it, let's go" and look at a total stranger. I got into the same color car, with the exact same interior parked 4 cars over except this one was a sedan and ours was a station wagon. Luckily the guy could laugh with my mistake and I apologized and got out of the car and looked over and saw our car. I'm still living it down with my husband. That guy has a funny story to tell as well, I know :)
I just recently got a new car. My old one stood out quite a bit, being old an not many like it anymore. Went to the mall, came out to where I parked, and stood there getting more and more frustrated when the stupid thing wouldn't unlock. Finally I looked at the license plate and realized, this is not my car! Walked two cats down, and there's mine! I just really hoped no one was watching;)
today my grandparents are picking me up from school and I was peering for a good minute into some strangers's car. thankfully they were oblivious, but all the security guards and teachers outside laughed at me :)
Every middle aged white mom has a white van in Utah and I’ve almost gotten into someone else’s car like three times. And yes my new glasses are coming, I should have seen well enough to realize it was a different blonde woman.
When I was a kid, my mom was taking me to school. We opened a car that looked like hers but the second we got in we knew something was wrong. The car was way too clean. So we got the real car back and I was forced to go to school.
I did that to a woman who had been in front of me at Motor Vehicles She was Already POed and Tore me a new one
Oh, golly, some people have no sense of humor. The DMV will do that to you, though.
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my friend and i spent ages in a car park trying to get into 'his' car. it was an old car, so you had to unlock the doors manually with the key. and we were so worried because the key wasn't working. then i looked closer at the car and pointed out that he had new decorations hanging from the rearview mirror. it was not his car. it was a few spots over. we just walked away like nothing happened. XD
Once while I was walking out of the store, I was looking at my receipt and was generally distracted, I headed to where I parked and saw a car the same make and color as mine and assumed it was mine... I didn't even see the old man in the driver's seat waiting for his wife. I almost gave that poor little old man a heart attack when I tried to open the driver's door. My (identical) vehicle was right next to theirs.
I’m terrified of this happening to me. I live in the US and a lot of people have guns in their car or on them. A guy was shot and killed when he tried to enter the wrong car after a night of drinking. They take their gun out when someone looks at their car; let alone trying to get in.
I did this as a kid. Neighbour down the street would take me and her kids to school every morning. One day I saw the car parked in front of the driveway. I didn't find it odd that the car was on the street but when I tried to enter it, I didn't recognize the person in it. I then realized that my neighbour's car was still in her driveway and I had been trying to get into a completely identical car. They were visiting my neighbour so everyone knew this story by noon.
My MIL came out of the fish and chip shop and got into the passenger seat of some old guy's car. Put her seat belt on before she realised it wasn't her husband. Wrong car, Love...
Some dude tried to open the car door while me and my little brother were in there while my mom took a quick trip inside dollar general
I do this on a regular basis. Our car is black. Very common colour in my defence. At least once every 2 months I go to the wrong car in the supermarket car park. I am only 48 so I’m not senile but I don’t really give a c**p about cars so I just assume that the nearest black one is ours. Never occurs to me to look and see if my partner is in the driver’s seat.
this has happened to me more than once, but it was really scary when my sister's brother-in-law did it. He's a landscaper, and at the end of a long day he got paid. My sister drops her husband and his brother at the bank so they can deposit their checks. His brother a long, lanky, Afro-American looking none to wholesome (dirty and grimy, as he had just finished a long day) gets into this little old white woman's front seat, in a not bad, but not great part of Baltimore. He just turned to her and said, "Okay, let's go!" It wasn't until he saw her shocked face when he realized his mistake. He quickly and sincerely apologized and got into my sister's car behind it. She and his brother were laughing their heads off.
I used to drive a beige Toyota Corolla. It is the most nondescript car on the road. I don't know how many times I tried to get into other beige Corollas in parking lots. I finally put something on the rearview mirror so I could ID my own car.
I've got bumper stickers in my rear window and still climb into other people's cars. Too many 4-door black sedans around. Luckily, the only time I actually tried to start the wrong car, the key didn't work.
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Omg... thought I was getting into my own car once bc it was the same year (not quite the same model), and my remote key fob worked. Sat down and looked around, and the interior was a disaster! Thought I had been robbed, then gradually realized it was not my car!!! I opened the driver door and backed out of that s**t like Homer Simpson into the bushes!!! 😬
I walked up to my car on the passenger side and as I went to unlock the door (key, this was a long time ago) I noticed a purse on the seat. What the heck. Then the key didn't unlock the door. What the HECK? Same make model color year as mine which was one row over.
Grabbed milk from the fridge
Grabbed a dinner plate from the cupboard
Began tilting the gallon jug toward the dish
Was about to pour myself a plate of milk when my mom walks by and asks what the f**k I'm doing
Applying deodorant on my armpit with my shirt still on.
I was trimming a raw chicken breast and saw a spider in my kitchen. I screamed and immediately threw the chicken breast at the spider and embedded it in the meat. Whoops.
Edit: to those asking if I ate the chicken breast afterwards: I forgot to mention that the spider was on the floor.
I picked up my toothbrush to brush my teeth but I also had the urge to p**s, so I obviously toss my toothbrush into the toilet.
Swished my mouthwash for a solid 30 seconds and then just spit it on the floor where I was standing.
I tried to mail my buddy a check, and it had been a while since I mailed anything. Long enough to forget how mail works apparently. What I did was I wrote my name and address in the center, and his name in the upper left hand corner. The letter then got returned to me. But still, my first thought wasn't, whoops, I failed at mailing this check. Instead it was, well I guess this stamp is old, and the price of stamps went up. So I put another stamp on it and sent it again, to myself, again. My mailman must think I'm r******d.
Drove 20 min to my old house after I moved..was just zoning out
Vigorously picking my nose while holding a cigarette and driving; crammed lit cigarette up my nose.
Turned up at work with the landline phone and my toddler's lunch.
I was getting ready for work and had a contact in one hand and a vitamin in the other. Popped the contact in my mouth and washed it down with a glass of water. I'm sure the stomach acid took care of it.
Painting a picture, take a drink from the paint brush water instead of my coffee.
Done that before. 57000000/10 would not recommend. Especially if you actually *swallowed* it
I was making ramen noodles and a pitcher of crystal light at the same time. Berry flavored ramen is....not good.
My dad told me a story of him putting deodorant on his pizza, not recomended.
I found myself taking a bath with all my clothes on.
Never told anyone. Just went back to sleep.
I am currently at university and live on the fifth floor of a dormitory. All the floors are identical other than the colors of the paint on the wall. One day I was taking the elevator up to the fifth floor and I was sending a text to my mother. When I arrived at my floor a person I had never seen before got on the elevator. I consciously noted that it was weird because I knew everyone on my floor, but I walked to my room and walked in. My living room seemed slightly off and then a girl walked into the living room and casually goes, "what are you doing in my room." That's when I realized I had gotten off on an earlier floor and I just absentmindedly walked into someone else's room. Needless to say I got out of that room really fast after realizing what I had done.
Leaving work, I had my hat in one hand and cell phone in the other. Something misfired and I put the cell phone on my head and hat in my pocket. There was a flashing realization that something wasn't right while standing their holding a phone to my bald spot and sporting a look of bewilderment.
I wish someone had seen it.
My mashed potato brain thought you wrote “cat” instead of hat,sat on my couch for five minutes without realizing
it was 2am and way past bedtime, and I'd pulled an all nighter the previous night too. while finally clearing the table I was playing video games on, I decided to put all the water bottles away that had been out for days and days. I tossed the empty ones but my cat was being rambunctious and trying to open the trash can, so I picked her up.
I was holding my cat and putting some unfinished water bottles back in the fridge. she struggled free and hopped onto the counter but I was too tired to scold her so I continued grabbing huge amounts (6 or 7 at a time, both hands) of half-full water bottles from the counter and into the fridge
I pick them up, I put them in the fridge, I pick them up, i put them in the fridge, I pick her up. I put her in the fridge. I close the fridge. I take two minutes to finish up the dishes. I turn off the kitchen light. I hear faint mewing. I wake up. I open the fridge. she is so cold, but she is okay.
now every time I open the f*****g fridge she climbs in. sometimes I don't notice her and she's trapped for a moment until I hear mewing. and I know it's all my fault.
(edit to clarify that I don't just start new water bottles halfway thru. it's over days and days)
So you have like a dozen of opened water bottles and some have been open for days? Yuk....
Note: this post originally had 80 images. It’s been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes.
I haven't laughed this much in a while. Thanks, I needed that. And yes, I've my own brain derailments.
Yeah, these were fun. Bonus in that they made me feel better about the times my brain fails me.
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Woke up, went into the bathroom. Back then the basket for dirty laundry was in the bathroom too. Again, woke up went in there, socks and underwear from previous day in my hand. Opened the toilet lid and threw my underwear in there, thinking it was the laundry basket...
Lol...I hope you didn't then proceed to open the laundry basket thinking it was the toilet!!
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I've had a few. One time while WFH my alarm went off in the morning and I simply obeyed the alarm, got up, made tea and logged into my laptop. I worked for about half an hour, wondering where all my colleagues were, before I realised the office was closed. Another time I was hunting for my glasses, getting very frustrated that I could not see. I had become so fixated on the search, having lost any sense of what I was actually looking for, that when I found them I put them on to make the search easier. I searched for another 15 minutes before I realised the thing I was looking for was literally on my face.
My brother told me: after peeing he was desperately searching the thingy of the zipper fly, fiddling around for a good three minutes, swearing because he couldn't grab it, wondering how he's been able to open the fly at all ... until he noticed that he's wearing button fly-pants.
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Needed a glass of water. Grabbed my cat’s pill to give to her. In the time it took to walk to the living room I realized I was holding both water and a pill so I probably needed to take it. That was an embarrassing call to poison control.
Did it harm you? Hope it didn't! You made me laugh tho 🤭 Recently I misunderstood myself when talking to myself. Confused myself and forgot what I've been talking about... Still can't think of it without starting to cry laughing 🤣 but not telling details 🫣 too embarrassed!
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Is it just me, or is it concerning how many people seem not to worry much about driving their car when their brain clearly isn't working?
It is concerning that they drive but also some jobs are dangerous if you are drowsy too. I wonder if they can't take time off, our society failing us all through lack of time off and health care, etc
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I'm 37 years and since a half year I've got my drivers license. So my entire life I was the passenger, not the driver. When I finally had my own car it happened more than once, that I opened the car and took place on the passenger seat, just waiting an invisible driver will drive me home. I guess, lol.
Hahaha! Better than my friend who had the license since many years and the car too. She sat down on the backseat - puzzled because there was no steering wheel! No joke, but when she told me we couldn't stop laughing for at least 10 minutes!
Load More Replies... Went up to the cashier at CVS one time to pay for my items, and was having a little Convo with her about how I had spent like 40 minutes ripping apart my house before I left for the store trying to find my eyeglasses. I never found them which is why, I told her, that I was wearing my old, taped up, broken pair. She smiled at me and proceeded to tell me that my good, missing pair were on top of my head. Nice.
When my company moved me to Texas to open a shop they let me use a white Chevy truck while I worked out getting my stuff shipped down from my old house. This truck had keyless entry. In south Texas, a white truck is the most common vehicle. I could never find this truck when I went shopping. I'm at Target getting stuff for work load it up and head out to the lot. Find my truck, unload the cart in to the back and climb in the truck. I'm sitting in the truck confused, trying to figure out when my windshield got cracked and why there is a baby seat in the back. Oh c**p. I quickly dismount the vehicle, get my stuff from the back of what is clearly not my truck, and gtfo of there. This is Texas and you'll get shot getting in another person's truck. My truck has keyless entry, theirs just had unlocked doors. My loaner truck now has a batman license plate frame and several company stickers on the back window.
Me making coffee. Put the water in the machine, turn it on. Came back a few minutes later to clear hot water in the pot. "oh you idiot, you forgot the coffee!". Empty the pot of hot water in the sink, put it back back in the machine, made absolutely sure I put the ground coffee in the filter, turn the coffee machine on. Came back after a few minutes and the pot was empty. I forgot to put the water. Got my partner to make the coffee.
The hardest part about the morning is making the coffee.
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A couple of years ago my uncle and aunt arrived at a party, sat on the sofa made small talk etc. then my other aunt called him and asked where they were. “You said you were at the door 10 minutes ago!” They had arrived at the wrong house and crashed a neighbour’s party. The amazing thing to me is that they were let in! You just have to have the confidence of someone who really thinks they know what they are doing I guess
I go to 12-step meetings daily. I do not go to church, but for some reason, I went with my mom once. They were doing a Bible study that involved discussion. I raised my hand to ask a question, and when the teacher called on me, I said "my name is queenie-poo, and I'm an alcoholic" 🤦♀️
Back in the 90's I was in a Cantonese restaurant in Soho. It was a multi level restaurant and I went to find the toilets on the ground floor, I got to the stairs, they were split stairs (go down a few steps, turn, go down some more) and I went down the first few steps to the flat part to find someone coming towards me. I said excuse me, then stepped to the left, this other person stepped to their right, I stepped to the right, this other person stepped to their left. I looked up to make eye contact with this idiot messing with me only to realise it was me! Yes the back wall of the stairwell was mirrored, and yes other people noticed, lol. :D
When i was a kid, i woke up, wanted to wear a specific pair of green leggings, put them on, and promptly forgot that i had. I had looked all over the house for 20 min, then i asked my twin if he had seen any green leggings. He said, "um, the ones you're wearing?"
This one happened just the other day. I was at a certain fabric shop - the first one in the franchise to open in my area. While chatting with the cashier I said "this is so much more convenient! You know, before this outlet opened, you used to have to go all the way out to [the suburb this outlet is in, in which I'm currently standing]!"
thanks for the good laugh :-D I was making oatmeal, and got a glass of apple juice. Ended up pouring applejuice in my oatmeal. It was surprisingly good. Also poured applejuice into my coffee once instead of milk. Was also nice.
Many years ago I put my dinner in the oven and set the timer as normal. Once the timer beeped, I opened the oven to find it empty. I could not figure out for the life of me what had happened as I clearly remembered putting the tray in the oven. After a few moments I went to get something from the fridge and ta da. There is my dinner. In the fridge, not in the oven
Half of these are from people who are overworked & under-rested. Something has to be done about the hours people have to work to make even a halfway decent living :(
I was looking to see if someone would post this! For those who aren't overworked and underslept, mindfulness meditation is specifically designed to help with these types of problems. I haven't actively practiced it in years, but after my responses to these posts, I'm realizing I need to start again. It really does help with staying focused and in the moment, but nothing except rest will cure overworking and/or undersleeping.
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Dutch comedian: "I woke up one morning, took a p1ss, got out of bed, and thought *this was in the wrong order*"
We of the brain fog ,brain fart society salute you. It's great to be a human, ain't it.?
1. Coin op laundry...took the clothes from the washer, tossed them in the dryer followed by my softener sheet and 4 quarters. 2. Couldn't find the spray cleaner because it was in the refrigerator. 3. Seemed to be running out of dinner plates. They were in the oven. 4. Holding a bag of shredded lettuce in one hand while removing lettuce with the other. Look into the bag and see a severed thumb. Then realized the bag was clear and the the thumb was mine...and still attached
I was standing at a urinal at work, doing my thing, and I heard the distinctive click clop of high heels. I start to panic. "Did I go into the ladies' room?" I decided to just face the wall and finish up at the urinal--that had to be in the mens' room.
A coworker put a plastic jug of iced tea on the coffee pot warmer where it melted and spilled all over. My dad wore my work shirt, which was from a well-known grocery store chain, to his own job. I got confused once in grade school and went home during mid-day thinking school had ended, but not before laughing and making goofy faces from the school hallway at my classmates who were still in class, because I thought they were all in detention and staying late. A family member drove to my location to pick me up and drove off without me. Having a religious background, I have genuflected in a movie theatre more than once.
Was desperatly trying to find the button that folds the front seat so I could get out of the car. All my friends who had succeeded in getting out of the car where all standing outside watching me, untill one of them opened the rear door and asked what the heck I was doing. I had somehow forgott it was a 4-door car...
Did that too on a friend's car once. Geez man, you car is impossible to access the rear seat. Finally got seated, noticed the arm rest and door handle as found in a four door car. WTH???
Load More Replies... I love my sleep, am a very deep sleeper and take ages to wake up. This one time as a 16yo i was working weekends with my father (plasterer). After this particularly hard day i was exhausted and crawled to my room and fell asleep on the bed. The next morning dad shouts up, I don't hear him properly and just assume its time to get up for work. i stumble into the shower and take a few to wake up. during this process dad has come up to find out where i am and I start to come round to the fact im still fully clothed, in the shower and its not actually the next morning but still the evening and he was calling me to dinner!
While driving I felt like my car was weaving because of the wind. It didn’t look windy so I rolled down my window and stuck my hand out to see if it the wind was blowing. It was blowing about 65 Mph
We had a litter of puppies one time and I was sooo tired. It's a 24/7 job. So I'm kind of falling asleep on the couch and I hear them start squeaking (which means time to feed them) and I absent-mindedly picked up the TV remote and tried to shut them off. Another time I drove 30 miles to work and didn't realize it was Sunday until I parked the car and wondered why the lot was empty.
I was leaving highschool with a group of colleagues, when we passed a small kid at one of those private neighbourhood gates. I said "Good afternoon" to that kid, for no reason, and she said the same thing to me, without looking. I guess I saw her with her backpack and remembered how I used to salute teachers when I was her age
Many years ago I'd been playing Super Mario 64 for three days straight. In the morning I decided I needed a break so took a walk to my local newsagents to get a paper and some provisions. As I got near an intersection a car was approaching so I broke into a run fully intending to leap into the air and somersault over it, landing safely on the opposite pavement. I came to my senses at the last millisecond, otherwise it might be a ghost posting this comment.
I've had two. One of them I was doing dishes, putting them in the sink. I saw a cup mostly filled with juice, grumbling about what a waste it was, and rather than pour old juice down the drain, simply emptied it on my kitchen counter. I just stared at it before going to watch TV for a bit. Apparently my sleep deprived brain needed a reset.
I had one many years ago that I cannot believe hasn't been brought up before. I woke up, walked to my door, and freaked out because the door didn't go where I thought it went. I thought I was in another house for some reason and began freaking out. My mom trying to console me through the door didn't register.... till I woke up fully and realized I had walked into my closet instead. Gratefully mom was the only one home and never told anyone that story because she must have realized it would be humiliating but she laughed so hard.
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When I was in the Navy standing watch, at 4am a shipmate comes up to the Quarterdeck and reports "some a*****e" is sleeping in my rack. He said he told the guy to get out and was told F** off! Either I do something or he's going to get a beating. I wake up the Duty Master at Arms who takes along a couple of friends and they extricate the person. Turns out he's assigned to the ship across the Pier. Right berthing assignment, just wrong ship. The previous watch had just let the drunk dude aboard.
Multiple times I’ll see a random object and think it’s an animal. One time I was so tired and didn’t catch myself and asked my professor “what? Why do you have a duck? Is that for an experiment?” It was a scarf. He was carrying a scarf to the lost and found. He looks at me and says “do you need stronger glasses or something?”
Was working huge hours and sleeping about four or so hours a night. Woke up before my alarm one night. Switched it off, dressed, bathroom/shave, bowl of cereal and drove over to pickup my friend who carpooled with me. Friends' house was very dark, as we're all the houses. Hardly any traffic. Switched on the radio and realized not only was I three hours early it was also a day off. Drove home and went to bed. Bought a watch that day....
I have the day off from work today so I went to brunch with my cousins. After leaving the restaurant, I drove to work. Once I got there, I sat in the parking lot wondering why sonething seemed off before I realized I should have gone home instead. Btw, this brunch involved no drinking!
I have one good one. A year back, when my sons were young enough they needed formula during night, I woke up veeeeery badly, went to the kitchen, warmed up a water and suddenly the water was gone. Formula was prepared in bottle, but the I just couldn't find the water... Angrily I heated up new water, finished the formula, gave it to my wife and went back to sleep. In the morning I found out what happened. I just poured the water right into (newly opened) package of formula. It cost me $20.
These always remind me of the time I caught myself about to squeeze toothpaste onto my razor with the intent of brushing my teeth....
I was once making myself toast for breakfast. When the toaster pops, I stare blankly at the empty toaster for a while before realizing that I hadn't actually put bread in.
A few years ago I worked for a bank branch and went to work. Waited for an hour and non of my coworkers show up. Text my manager asking if anyone was coming in. He said "dude it's Sunday". He was the best boss.
I once was using voice-to-text while driving. In the middle of the text I sent to a girl I had just met it read: "pick a lane you stupid twat!"
I'm sitting at my desk reading this on my tablet that's leaned against my monitor and tried scrolling with my mouse
I am a teacher. One morning I was trying to get into my classroom, mentally cussing because the door would not work. Then I realized that instead of using my class' key I was pressing the unlock button on my vehicle's key.
I was making lunch while watching studio c and I put my food in the fridge instead of the microwave
When I was in 3rd grade, I sat in the front left corner of the room, returning from recess I walked into the wrong classroom and I was confused to why all the kids from the other class were in my classroom because they both looked the same. I walked to the front left corner desk and sat down the girl who was meant to be sitting there came in just after and asked why i was sitting in her seat and to please get out of her seat. I said it was my seat and then it clicked. I apologized left. When I was about ten my mums car crashed and we had to rent one for about a week. So we rode that car somewhere and parked in a parking lot. When we were coming back there were three cars that looked similar to it all next to each other. tried to open the wrong car's door I was like OH NO and ran to the next car and which I thought was the rental, but it wasn't so panicking, I ran to the next car and luckily that one was the right car but I got it wrong twice lol.
Oh also one time my brother ate a bunny poop thinking it was a raisin
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I almost took a drink of my valve oil once. Thank god for child safety locks or I would be dead(for non brass instrument players, valve oil is dangerous if ingested and can be fatal). Here’s the whole story. I had my Pepsi bottle right next to my valve oil when I was practicing baritone. I put the oil bottle to my mouth, WITH THE LID ON, and realized nothing was coming out, so I proceeded to try and take the lid off. I do this occasionally with my drinks where I forget to take the lid off first, so that didn’t faze me, but I was really confused why it was suddenly so hard to open my Pepsi. It wasn’t until I looked down at my hand that I realized I just tried to poison myself. Shout out to the inventor of child safety locks. They protect adults sometimes too.
This is why I habitually look _both_ ways before crossing a *one way* street… 😅 we could all maybe use some more sleep to help with our focus
My dog had passed away recently, and I hadn’t quite gotten used to it yet- I dropped a piece of ham on the floor making a sandwich. I shouted “cleanup!” Expecting to hear a dog rush down the stairs and come eat it. I wander off looking for him, because he *always* comes for cleanup. My mother comes in to find a half made sandwich and a piece of ham on the floor.
Once I went to a public toilet in a mall. Entered one cubicle and noticed the seat was up but didn't think much of it. I did my business and got out only to find urinals attached to the wall. My shortcircuit brain had lead me to gents toilet (I'm a woman).
I had some xmas icicles outside my house. one evening, they were tapping on the window in the wind, so my half asleep brain, got up, turned them off at the plug, then came back into the room, asking my partner why they were still making the noise when i had turned them off. i got laughed at a lot that evening!!
I can be absent-minded sometimes so I have my moments. From walking into a room to get something and then wondering why I went into this room as soon as I enter to burning frozen pizzas because I forgot that I had put something in the toaster oven.
I love these kinds of posts! They always have my laughing until I cry
I haven't laughed this much in a while. Thanks, I needed that. And yes, I've my own brain derailments.
Yeah, these were fun. Bonus in that they made me feel better about the times my brain fails me.
Load More Replies... Woke up, went into the bathroom. Back then the basket for dirty laundry was in the bathroom too. Again, woke up went in there, socks and underwear from previous day in my hand. Opened the toilet lid and threw my underwear in there, thinking it was the laundry basket...
Lol...I hope you didn't then proceed to open the laundry basket thinking it was the toilet!!
Load More Replies... I've had a few. One time while WFH my alarm went off in the morning and I simply obeyed the alarm, got up, made tea and logged into my laptop. I worked for about half an hour, wondering where all my colleagues were, before I realised the office was closed. Another time I was hunting for my glasses, getting very frustrated that I could not see. I had become so fixated on the search, having lost any sense of what I was actually looking for, that when I found them I put them on to make the search easier. I searched for another 15 minutes before I realised the thing I was looking for was literally on my face.
My brother told me: after peeing he was desperately searching the thingy of the zipper fly, fiddling around for a good three minutes, swearing because he couldn't grab it, wondering how he's been able to open the fly at all ... until he noticed that he's wearing button fly-pants.
Load More Replies... Needed a glass of water. Grabbed my cat’s pill to give to her. In the time it took to walk to the living room I realized I was holding both water and a pill so I probably needed to take it. That was an embarrassing call to poison control.
Did it harm you? Hope it didn't! You made me laugh tho 🤭 Recently I misunderstood myself when talking to myself. Confused myself and forgot what I've been talking about... Still can't think of it without starting to cry laughing 🤣 but not telling details 🫣 too embarrassed!
Load More Replies... Is it just me, or is it concerning how many people seem not to worry much about driving their car when their brain clearly isn't working?
It is concerning that they drive but also some jobs are dangerous if you are drowsy too. I wonder if they can't take time off, our society failing us all through lack of time off and health care, etc
Load More Replies... I'm 37 years and since a half year I've got my drivers license. So my entire life I was the passenger, not the driver. When I finally had my own car it happened more than once, that I opened the car and took place on the passenger seat, just waiting an invisible driver will drive me home. I guess, lol.
Hahaha! Better than my friend who had the license since many years and the car too. She sat down on the backseat - puzzled because there was no steering wheel! No joke, but when she told me we couldn't stop laughing for at least 10 minutes!
Load More Replies... Went up to the cashier at CVS one time to pay for my items, and was having a little Convo with her about how I had spent like 40 minutes ripping apart my house before I left for the store trying to find my eyeglasses. I never found them which is why, I told her, that I was wearing my old, taped up, broken pair. She smiled at me and proceeded to tell me that my good, missing pair were on top of my head. Nice.
When my company moved me to Texas to open a shop they let me use a white Chevy truck while I worked out getting my stuff shipped down from my old house. This truck had keyless entry. In south Texas, a white truck is the most common vehicle. I could never find this truck when I went shopping. I'm at Target getting stuff for work load it up and head out to the lot. Find my truck, unload the cart in to the back and climb in the truck. I'm sitting in the truck confused, trying to figure out when my windshield got cracked and why there is a baby seat in the back. Oh c**p. I quickly dismount the vehicle, get my stuff from the back of what is clearly not my truck, and gtfo of there. This is Texas and you'll get shot getting in another person's truck. My truck has keyless entry, theirs just had unlocked doors. My loaner truck now has a batman license plate frame and several company stickers on the back window.
Me making coffee. Put the water in the machine, turn it on. Came back a few minutes later to clear hot water in the pot. "oh you idiot, you forgot the coffee!". Empty the pot of hot water in the sink, put it back back in the machine, made absolutely sure I put the ground coffee in the filter, turn the coffee machine on. Came back after a few minutes and the pot was empty. I forgot to put the water. Got my partner to make the coffee.
The hardest part about the morning is making the coffee.
Load More Replies... A couple of years ago my uncle and aunt arrived at a party, sat on the sofa made small talk etc. then my other aunt called him and asked where they were. “You said you were at the door 10 minutes ago!” They had arrived at the wrong house and crashed a neighbour’s party. The amazing thing to me is that they were let in! You just have to have the confidence of someone who really thinks they know what they are doing I guess
I go to 12-step meetings daily. I do not go to church, but for some reason, I went with my mom once. They were doing a Bible study that involved discussion. I raised my hand to ask a question, and when the teacher called on me, I said "my name is queenie-poo, and I'm an alcoholic" 🤦♀️
Back in the 90's I was in a Cantonese restaurant in Soho. It was a multi level restaurant and I went to find the toilets on the ground floor, I got to the stairs, they were split stairs (go down a few steps, turn, go down some more) and I went down the first few steps to the flat part to find someone coming towards me. I said excuse me, then stepped to the left, this other person stepped to their right, I stepped to the right, this other person stepped to their left. I looked up to make eye contact with this idiot messing with me only to realise it was me! Yes the back wall of the stairwell was mirrored, and yes other people noticed, lol. :D
When i was a kid, i woke up, wanted to wear a specific pair of green leggings, put them on, and promptly forgot that i had. I had looked all over the house for 20 min, then i asked my twin if he had seen any green leggings. He said, "um, the ones you're wearing?"
This one happened just the other day. I was at a certain fabric shop - the first one in the franchise to open in my area. While chatting with the cashier I said "this is so much more convenient! You know, before this outlet opened, you used to have to go all the way out to [the suburb this outlet is in, in which I'm currently standing]!"
thanks for the good laugh :-D I was making oatmeal, and got a glass of apple juice. Ended up pouring applejuice in my oatmeal. It was surprisingly good. Also poured applejuice into my coffee once instead of milk. Was also nice.
Many years ago I put my dinner in the oven and set the timer as normal. Once the timer beeped, I opened the oven to find it empty. I could not figure out for the life of me what had happened as I clearly remembered putting the tray in the oven. After a few moments I went to get something from the fridge and ta da. There is my dinner. In the fridge, not in the oven
Half of these are from people who are overworked & under-rested. Something has to be done about the hours people have to work to make even a halfway decent living :(
I was looking to see if someone would post this! For those who aren't overworked and underslept, mindfulness meditation is specifically designed to help with these types of problems. I haven't actively practiced it in years, but after my responses to these posts, I'm realizing I need to start again. It really does help with staying focused and in the moment, but nothing except rest will cure overworking and/or undersleeping.
Load More Replies... Dutch comedian: "I woke up one morning, took a p1ss, got out of bed, and thought *this was in the wrong order*"
We of the brain fog ,brain fart society salute you. It's great to be a human, ain't it.?
1. Coin op laundry...took the clothes from the washer, tossed them in the dryer followed by my softener sheet and 4 quarters. 2. Couldn't find the spray cleaner because it was in the refrigerator. 3. Seemed to be running out of dinner plates. They were in the oven. 4. Holding a bag of shredded lettuce in one hand while removing lettuce with the other. Look into the bag and see a severed thumb. Then realized the bag was clear and the the thumb was mine...and still attached
I was standing at a urinal at work, doing my thing, and I heard the distinctive click clop of high heels. I start to panic. "Did I go into the ladies' room?" I decided to just face the wall and finish up at the urinal--that had to be in the mens' room.
A coworker put a plastic jug of iced tea on the coffee pot warmer where it melted and spilled all over. My dad wore my work shirt, which was from a well-known grocery store chain, to his own job. I got confused once in grade school and went home during mid-day thinking school had ended, but not before laughing and making goofy faces from the school hallway at my classmates who were still in class, because I thought they were all in detention and staying late. A family member drove to my location to pick me up and drove off without me. Having a religious background, I have genuflected in a movie theatre more than once.
Was desperatly trying to find the button that folds the front seat so I could get out of the car. All my friends who had succeeded in getting out of the car where all standing outside watching me, untill one of them opened the rear door and asked what the heck I was doing. I had somehow forgott it was a 4-door car...
Did that too on a friend's car once. Geez man, you car is impossible to access the rear seat. Finally got seated, noticed the arm rest and door handle as found in a four door car. WTH???
Load More Replies... I love my sleep, am a very deep sleeper and take ages to wake up. This one time as a 16yo i was working weekends with my father (plasterer). After this particularly hard day i was exhausted and crawled to my room and fell asleep on the bed. The next morning dad shouts up, I don't hear him properly and just assume its time to get up for work. i stumble into the shower and take a few to wake up. during this process dad has come up to find out where i am and I start to come round to the fact im still fully clothed, in the shower and its not actually the next morning but still the evening and he was calling me to dinner!
While driving I felt like my car was weaving because of the wind. It didn’t look windy so I rolled down my window and stuck my hand out to see if it the wind was blowing. It was blowing about 65 Mph
We had a litter of puppies one time and I was sooo tired. It's a 24/7 job. So I'm kind of falling asleep on the couch and I hear them start squeaking (which means time to feed them) and I absent-mindedly picked up the TV remote and tried to shut them off. Another time I drove 30 miles to work and didn't realize it was Sunday until I parked the car and wondered why the lot was empty.
I was leaving highschool with a group of colleagues, when we passed a small kid at one of those private neighbourhood gates. I said "Good afternoon" to that kid, for no reason, and she said the same thing to me, without looking. I guess I saw her with her backpack and remembered how I used to salute teachers when I was her age
Many years ago I'd been playing Super Mario 64 for three days straight. In the morning I decided I needed a break so took a walk to my local newsagents to get a paper and some provisions. As I got near an intersection a car was approaching so I broke into a run fully intending to leap into the air and somersault over it, landing safely on the opposite pavement. I came to my senses at the last millisecond, otherwise it might be a ghost posting this comment.
I've had two. One of them I was doing dishes, putting them in the sink. I saw a cup mostly filled with juice, grumbling about what a waste it was, and rather than pour old juice down the drain, simply emptied it on my kitchen counter. I just stared at it before going to watch TV for a bit. Apparently my sleep deprived brain needed a reset.
I had one many years ago that I cannot believe hasn't been brought up before. I woke up, walked to my door, and freaked out because the door didn't go where I thought it went. I thought I was in another house for some reason and began freaking out. My mom trying to console me through the door didn't register.... till I woke up fully and realized I had walked into my closet instead. Gratefully mom was the only one home and never told anyone that story because she must have realized it would be humiliating but she laughed so hard.
Load More Replies... When I was in the Navy standing watch, at 4am a shipmate comes up to the Quarterdeck and reports "some a*****e" is sleeping in my rack. He said he told the guy to get out and was told F** off! Either I do something or he's going to get a beating. I wake up the Duty Master at Arms who takes along a couple of friends and they extricate the person. Turns out he's assigned to the ship across the Pier. Right berthing assignment, just wrong ship. The previous watch had just let the drunk dude aboard.
Multiple times I’ll see a random object and think it’s an animal. One time I was so tired and didn’t catch myself and asked my professor “what? Why do you have a duck? Is that for an experiment?” It was a scarf. He was carrying a scarf to the lost and found. He looks at me and says “do you need stronger glasses or something?”
Was working huge hours and sleeping about four or so hours a night. Woke up before my alarm one night. Switched it off, dressed, bathroom/shave, bowl of cereal and drove over to pickup my friend who carpooled with me. Friends' house was very dark, as we're all the houses. Hardly any traffic. Switched on the radio and realized not only was I three hours early it was also a day off. Drove home and went to bed. Bought a watch that day....
I have the day off from work today so I went to brunch with my cousins. After leaving the restaurant, I drove to work. Once I got there, I sat in the parking lot wondering why sonething seemed off before I realized I should have gone home instead. Btw, this brunch involved no drinking!
I have one good one. A year back, when my sons were young enough they needed formula during night, I woke up veeeeery badly, went to the kitchen, warmed up a water and suddenly the water was gone. Formula was prepared in bottle, but the I just couldn't find the water... Angrily I heated up new water, finished the formula, gave it to my wife and went back to sleep. In the morning I found out what happened. I just poured the water right into (newly opened) package of formula. It cost me $20.
These always remind me of the time I caught myself about to squeeze toothpaste onto my razor with the intent of brushing my teeth....
I was once making myself toast for breakfast. When the toaster pops, I stare blankly at the empty toaster for a while before realizing that I hadn't actually put bread in.
A few years ago I worked for a bank branch and went to work. Waited for an hour and non of my coworkers show up. Text my manager asking if anyone was coming in. He said "dude it's Sunday". He was the best boss.
I once was using voice-to-text while driving. In the middle of the text I sent to a girl I had just met it read: "pick a lane you stupid twat!"
I'm sitting at my desk reading this on my tablet that's leaned against my monitor and tried scrolling with my mouse
I am a teacher. One morning I was trying to get into my classroom, mentally cussing because the door would not work. Then I realized that instead of using my class' key I was pressing the unlock button on my vehicle's key.
I was making lunch while watching studio c and I put my food in the fridge instead of the microwave
When I was in 3rd grade, I sat in the front left corner of the room, returning from recess I walked into the wrong classroom and I was confused to why all the kids from the other class were in my classroom because they both looked the same. I walked to the front left corner desk and sat down the girl who was meant to be sitting there came in just after and asked why i was sitting in her seat and to please get out of her seat. I said it was my seat and then it clicked. I apologized left. When I was about ten my mums car crashed and we had to rent one for about a week. So we rode that car somewhere and parked in a parking lot. When we were coming back there were three cars that looked similar to it all next to each other. tried to open the wrong car's door I was like OH NO and ran to the next car and which I thought was the rental, but it wasn't so panicking, I ran to the next car and luckily that one was the right car but I got it wrong twice lol.
Oh also one time my brother ate a bunny poop thinking it was a raisin
Load More Replies... I almost took a drink of my valve oil once. Thank god for child safety locks or I would be dead(for non brass instrument players, valve oil is dangerous if ingested and can be fatal). Here’s the whole story. I had my Pepsi bottle right next to my valve oil when I was practicing baritone. I put the oil bottle to my mouth, WITH THE LID ON, and realized nothing was coming out, so I proceeded to try and take the lid off. I do this occasionally with my drinks where I forget to take the lid off first, so that didn’t faze me, but I was really confused why it was suddenly so hard to open my Pepsi. It wasn’t until I looked down at my hand that I realized I just tried to poison myself. Shout out to the inventor of child safety locks. They protect adults sometimes too.
This is why I habitually look _both_ ways before crossing a *one way* street… 😅 we could all maybe use some more sleep to help with our focus
My dog had passed away recently, and I hadn’t quite gotten used to it yet- I dropped a piece of ham on the floor making a sandwich. I shouted “cleanup!” Expecting to hear a dog rush down the stairs and come eat it. I wander off looking for him, because he *always* comes for cleanup. My mother comes in to find a half made sandwich and a piece of ham on the floor.
Once I went to a public toilet in a mall. Entered one cubicle and noticed the seat was up but didn't think much of it. I did my business and got out only to find urinals attached to the wall. My shortcircuit brain had lead me to gents toilet (I'm a woman).
I had some xmas icicles outside my house. one evening, they were tapping on the window in the wind, so my half asleep brain, got up, turned them off at the plug, then came back into the room, asking my partner why they were still making the noise when i had turned them off. i got laughed at a lot that evening!!
I can be absent-minded sometimes so I have my moments. From walking into a room to get something and then wondering why I went into this room as soon as I enter to burning frozen pizzas because I forgot that I had put something in the toaster oven.
I love these kinds of posts! They always have my laughing until I cry
