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46 Americans Share How Being Abroad Changed Them Through These Reverse Culture Shocks
Interview With Expert
Living abroad can change a person in many ways. They will likely be more familiar with the culture they’ve assimilated into, maybe even be a fluent speaker of the language that was once foreign to them.
They may also find themselves shocked at the customs of their home country when they return, much like what these American expats went through. They shared their experiences in a recent Reddit thread, revealing how much they no longer recognize their own culture.
Enjoy reading, and feel free to share your reverse culture shock moments in the comments below.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Lived in Japan for 6.5 years, had a kid there, came back to the US in December 2016.
- *Everything* here seems to exist to create profit for someone: your health (or more likely your illness), your poverty, your education, etc.
- There is zero concept of "the greater good" or public welfare here, even when it would make more economic sense to do something collectively.
- In a similar vein, that you put a dollar value on your family's health. I had just started working when my toddler got really sick, and I had to try to figure out "is he sick enough that I can afford the doctor visit?" "Is he sick enough that I can afford a day off work to take him to the doctor?" "How long can I afford his care if it's not just the flu?" etc.
- Given all the above, the conclusion (here come the downvotes) that America is a massive machine designed and perfected to completely and utterly f**k poor people.
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#2
That people think the US health care system is normal. "GoFundMe" is not meant to pay for your hospital bills. It's insane that literally every other....EVERY OTHER....developed country can find a way to make health care a basic human right. And Americans are just like, "too bad if you're poor and get sick....just go ahead and die, you're going to die anyway." I don't understand the American mentality.
Tobias Reaper 3 months ago
even with all the people that get huge hospital bills health insurance being linked to employment there are still those that think universal health care is not good
#3
Australia made me realize how much racism in America affected my life. I did the same s**t in Australia that I do in America: teach at a university (USQ!), go to the gym, hang out with friends... normal s**t. But it felt extremely different. White women weren't afraid of me (they actually didn't even notice me mostly). When I met people, there weren't awkward jokes or comments about black people. No one followed me around the store. I even felt comfortable asking police for directions, and they gave them to me and went about their business. I came back to Houston, which is super diverse, and it was the exact opposite. Even my 60 something year old mother (who came to visit me in Australia) noticed it. I felt so.... normal.
Armac 3 months ago
I’m pleased to hear that, but unfortunately we have a very long way to go with the way first Australians are treated
Anthony Elmore 3 months ago
I suspect the problem is somewhat similar to here, in the sense of it differing by region of the country (hopefully it differs in the overall level, though). When he mentioned Houston, I instantly understood why he ran into so much of it in the US. Houston is probably better than rural communities in the south, but it's still not fantastic. There's a large difference depending on the region, though. When I worked in my first foundry in the south, one of the line leads, referring to someone using me as a gopher at work, actually told me "You don't have to be his ____ boy." and I reflexively did a double take because it hadn't occurred to me that that was just a thing people say so casually. The sad part is that I never got the impression that he actually looked down on black people overall, which really says something about how far embedded it is. He had enough awareness to be sheepish when I asked him what he said in confusion, but not enough to think twice about using the phrase.
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Gregory Garcia 3 months ago
Yeah thats why black jazz artists moved to France between the Wars
tmw 3 months ago
I appreciate this point of view. However, as a Native American, I had a very different experience in Australia. I have never encountered a place that is so racist towards their Natives (even Quebec isn't as bad!). I have travelled a number of places, but never felt as unsafe as I did in Australia - and that's not even counting the spiders!
Blue Bunny of Happiness 3 months ago (edited)
Heartbreaking that racism is still happening in any society. It doesn’t have to be overt, racism can be more subtle too eg an ad for Sanex body wash has just been banned in the UK due to it reinforcing racial stereotypes and that white skin is superior.
Earonn - 3 months ago
Not the brand, not the body wash. Just an ad that implied that whiter skin was superior. Which sounds very common sense to me.
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bernie bulk 3 months ago
if your a good bloke......end of story, us aussies couldnt give a s**t about your colour....unless you barrack for collingwood....
T'Mar of Vulcan 3 months ago
Come to South Africa; we're the Rainbow Nation and we totally embrace the love of all cultures, outfits and food!
Nicole Weymann 3 months ago
Looking forward to experiencing it - I'll be visiting come October 😃
Load More Replies...We had the opportunity to speak with a few people who are well-versed in reverse culture shocks. Writer Amy Poulton, who manages the Page Traveller blog, lived as an expat in Hong Kong and had been backpacking through Southeast Asia and Mexico. She has also lived overseas in Thailand and Italy.
As she tells Bored Panda, starting from scratch in a country where you are alone and unfamiliar with the language and culture makes you a stronger, more independent person. In her words, “it makes you a problem solver.”
#5
I lived abroad for 10 years, 4 in Europe and 6 in Asia with a few months in Latin America thrown in for good measure. Others have called out several that I agree with, tipping, obesity, lack of public transport. I could write a book.
The biggest shock, however, is the ignorance of the population. The propaganda and political system here are sophisticated to such an extent that Americans will tell me directly and with no personal experience or seeming review of the facts that a for profit healthcare system is the only way to go. They’ll defend and believe that this is the greatest and freest country on earth. They still believe that most countries outside of the U.S. and Europe are third world. They’re still convinced that running everything, including social services, on a profit motive is the only way to guarantee a positive outcome for society. Many believe that China and Iran are the greatest sources of evil since the N**is. They tell me this without ever having been on the Bangkok metro, to a Taiwanese hospital, or seemingly having ever talked to a Mainland Chinese person.
Americans do travel and in great numbers. For those that do, they’re incredibly insightful and open minded. For the majority, however, they live in the biggest bubble of ignorance I’ve ever encountered.
#6
The rage. So much anger over the smallest things and not enough anger over big things.
In her experience, Poulton, who is from the UK, says her reverse culture shock happened when she could no longer relate to her home country the same way. As she tells us: “I am no longer connected to my home country in the same way, but I will always be connected.”
“What's funny is that I often feel very connected to other British expats because we share the experience so closely,” Poulton adds. “We have left the same culture and also ventured into this new one, so our cultural references, traditions, and responses to the new are usually the same.”
#7
People are fatter and more ignorant than I remember. Entitled victim mentality is very prevalent now.
#8
Not sure this counts as "returning".So, Back and forth. Mexico and US. Currently in Mexico. We flew domestic from one Mexican city to another last week on Volaris. Super orderly getting on the plane. Everyone had their luggage in the overhead and were seated in a weirdly, quiet and efficient manner. I think they closed the doors early and we were off. Then really weird...when we landed...NOBODY stood up. They just sat there. Usually in the US there's about a dozen morons that just stand up and start elbowing to get their stuff out of the overhead and then stand in the aisle breathing on you. Nope. Then the flight attendant would walk down the aisle and open 4 overhead doors on each side and the people under those would stand up in an orderly fashion and get their stuff and walk off the plane. Then the attendant would do the same with the next 4 compartments, rinse and repeat. It was AMAZING. Everyone was off quickly and in a super smooth fashion. Why can't WE do this!!!???
#9
The song and dance of the waiter bringing your bill and leaving, taking your card and leaving, then waiting for them to come back with the receipt so you can give them a tip and finally go home.
In many restaurants in New Zealand you just go to the host station to pay when you’re done, and there is of course no tip.
Siddhi Yoga CEO and founder Meera Watts has a different take on reverse culture shocks, having trained yoga teachers from more than 50 countries and experiencing cultural shifts between Singapore and India.
“Reverse culture shock does not mean that one is losing touch with his or her roots, but instead, it means that a person has grown and has a broader outlook,” she explained. “Having been exposed to the new cultures, you come back with a new pair of eyes that see what you could not see before.”
#10
I was so annoyed by not being able to pass on the left on the escalator.
In the UK you stand to the right if you're stationary so if people are in a rush they can pass on the left.
In the UK Public transportation was quiet and you avoided eye contact. No one would dare blast music without headphones. Not the case in the US.
It's like once you land back in the US everyone suffers from main character syndrome. The entitlement is palpable.
#11
I'm from the US, but moved to Germany when I was 7. Went back to the US for college, then decided on Germany for good. Bread, dude. Americans do not know bread. Germany, there's a bakery on every corner and you will get a decent roll for about 20 cents. Americans have bakeries but like why is there so much sliced bread for sale and so little fresh? Why is everything in the bakery section sweet?
Also, fun fact: Germans call all square, pre-sliced white bread toast. Americans only call it toast when it has been toasted. You do not know how confusing this is.
Marianne 3 months ago (edited)
I'm German and the thing about white bread / toast is true. I once embarassed myself while on holiday in the UK when I asked the lady serving us in the breakfest room "Can I have some raw toast for my toddler?" (because he wants it not toasted) and she went "Sooo ... you'd like some bread?" White square bread is just not bread for me.
#12
I spent a semester abroad in Sri Lanka then moved back to the US. What struck me the most was the amount of food people waste. In Sri Lanka it's heavily frowned upon to waste food, even among the wealthy who don't deal with issues of scarcity. Returning to my college dining hall and seeing my friends pile their plates with food to then eat half and throw the rest out was a little jarring and disheartening.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 3 months ago
I grew up in England in the '50s and '60s. Mum didn't let hardly anything go to waste and most British families of that time would be the same. I continued the same train of thoughts on food raising my kids in the '80s and '90s. Now being a granddad, I am pleased to see they are following the same regarding food wastage with raising their families too.
Watts adds that the “increased sensitivity” that expats experience is “transitory,” and is evidence that a person has successfully adjusted in a foreign country.
“The unease is an indication that you have truly embraced elements of a different culture, and this will enrich and not degrade your identity,” she said.
#13
Crazy healthcare prices, normalization of gun ownership, student debt, tipping culture, size of trucks.
bElLa sTairZz 3 months ago
never hear about americans going off road, but istg they all have the trucks for it
#14
The extremely processed food. I gained something like 30 pounds in less than a year before I realized I couldn’t eat like I did abroad.
#15
I was in Europe, and I really miss relying on public transportation, or just walking. Sure, it slowed down my day, but that was the normal.
I didn't realize the small but pervasive exhaustion and strain that having to drive everywhere causes on my body and brain.
Licensed psychotherapist Christina Kantzavelos, LCSW, MLIS, has lived abroad and worked with clients who have returned after long periods away from their home country. In her view, reverse culture shocks are a reflection of growth while being away.
She adds that the idealization of one’s native country is also common because the brain naturally highlights the comforts of home. As she puts it, it is a natural way of coping with uncertainty.
#16
Lived in Europe and the Middle East with the family for about 9 years, then came back home to Littleton, Colorado in early April of 1999. Our new house was about a mile and a half from Columbine HS.
The guns. The f*****g guns. Why does a presumably civilized society need so many god damned guns?
#17
Get rid of a for profit medical system, and suddenly our food gets healthier. In the U.S., the fatter and sicker we are, the fatter Big Pharma’s wallet gets. When you have to make something to work for EVERYBODY, you’re forced to maximize it’s efficiency. Cleaning up s****y foods is the easiest way to do that.
Noname 3 months ago
For me, it's the "extreme" food culture in the US, meaning the way eating food is treated like a completive sport, and there are tv shows that seem to encourage and glorify this behavior, like "Man vs Food" (and I believe that the guy who was doing that show became seriously ill due to it).
#18
We put a LOT of ice in drinks.
Auntriarch 3 months ago
Replying to Southern Gal who has unfortunately been downvoted to the point of no reply - yes it is wonderful! I have an ice machine at home and I love the tinkling sound of ice in my drink, before it even gets to my mouth. I'm happy to be the one weirdo amongst my friends and family.
So, how does a returning expat cope with reverse culture shock? Kantzavelos advises giving yourself time to readjust while allowing both versions of yourself to exist together. She also recommends staying connected with the people you met abroad.
“Bring parts of your life overseas back home with you, whether that is cooking a dish you loved, listening to music from that country, or practicing the language,” she stated, reiterating that feeling unsettled is not a sign of failure but is simply part of the process of “weaving together all the places you belong.”
#19
Everything is super sized. Including the people.
Jackie Lulu 3 months ago
I have a friend who is well traveled. She says she loses weight every time she is on a trip, even though she's eating just as much. We've decided that it's the quality of the food.
#20
America is full of people in a hurry to get to places they don't really want to go. It's very, very odd.
#21
This was 20 years ago, so it’s only gotten worse but….
It was the food.
After living in Thailand for a year, losing a ton of weight, and feeling 1000% better in general, the first time I got back to the states the realization hit.
All of the food was terrible, expensive, and basically p****n. It was like the scene from jaws in terms of my perception.
Bruce Mardle 3 months ago
It took me a while to figure out what "p****n" is. Paracelsus said (around year 1600) "All things are poison. It is the dose alone that makes something not a poison".
Poulton has a straightforward piece of advice when dealing with reverse culture shock: enjoy it. For her, it is never a negative experience, especially since she gets to appreciate everything about her hometown that she never did in the past.
“The best part is seeing my home country through the eyes of a traveller; I had never really explored the UK before I started living overseas and travelling to other continents.”
#23
Trying to figure out the actual price of anything since state and local taxes are never in the listed price.
#24
The way local police dress like they're preparing to invade Fallujah and how aggressive they are.
Geoffrey Scott 3 months ago
I have told several acquaintances who happen to be police officers that when I see a cop with his(it's ALWAYS a him) pants bloused into jump boots, I am immediately pissed off. What are they? Special Forces rejects?
For Watts, mindful integration is the best way to not feel strange about being back home. Apart from meditation and noting these feelings without judgment, she advises making rituals to celebrate both cultures you have lived in.
“This transition is not a loss, but an expansion, and during adjustment periods, they can use their breathwork to ground themselves.”
#25
Everything in the US is HUGE. I spent three months in Japan, when I returned home, I ordered a small drink from Pizza Hut and it was enormous. I could’ve gone swimming in it. I hadn’t noticed how big portion sizes and homes and vehicles are.
Grocery stores have so many options and bright colors (after coming back from Central America)
People are loud and not concerned with how their behavior affects others (Coming back from Japan)
Horrible public transportation (Coming back from Europe and Japan)
Lots of dirty streets (Japan again haha)
People don’t take pride in their appearances (Guess what? Japan!)
Males aren’t very affectionate toward one another (Middle East and Australia)
Children don’t respect their parents that much (Nigeria, Middle East, Central and South America, and….Japan!).
#26
The lack of public third party spaces that are free to hang out in.
Europe has so many free public spaces and youth/elderly centers for people to spend time with others without paying for entry or having to purchase something. The US is so desperately in need of more spaces like this. Especially for kids. It makes me really sad to see how much pay for play happens here.
#27
12 weeks of maternity leave (if you're lucky, not guilt-tripped to do less) - it's up to 18 months in Canada, can be used intermittently / spread out, and can be split with the dad.
Lena Flising 3 months ago
16 months per child i Sweden. Three months for dad, three for mom, and the rest can be split as they like, and used until the child is eight. Dad also has 10 days just after the birth, so mom and dad can spend the first two weeks as parents together.
#28
D**g ads and the amount of salt and/or sugar in all food.
Kevin Hickey 3 months ago
Why are there ads for products that you're not even allowed to buy unless your doctor says that you can??? And they all say, "Tell your doctor about...." this product. Absolutely ridiculous.
#30
I went to high school outside the US and came back to go to college while my parents still lived abroad. (They moved back the summer before my junior year.)
1. I felt really “out of the loop” in terms of pop culture. I had never seen an episode of ‘Friends’ or ‘Seinfeld.’ I had never heard of any of the popular bands or singers. People would quote lines from the show or lyrics to a song and I would just stare blankly.
2. I had no idea what the “in” brands were for clothing, electronics, cars, or anything else. People would say “I just bought a __” and I would have to fake smile and say something neutral because I didn’t know if they were talking about a handbag or a car.
3. I was shocked at how poorly my college classmates (and sometimes professors) understood geography. During introductions, I would give the name of the European country where I had been living and I would be met with blank stares. Several people asked me “Did you drive here?” (From Europe to America).
#31
Zero public transportation unless you live in about three major cities.
Anthony Elmore 3 months ago
And in those cities there is a statistically high chance that someone has recently peed on them. I'm not sure how this compares to other countries, but I really hope it's less there.
#32
I lived in Germany for a year. When I came back to America, the thing that struck me the most is how HUGE food portions are in restaurants and such. There was a local "American" place in Germany that served food on comically large plates, but after going back home I realized they weren't all that far off.
SouthernGal 3 months ago
That looks like an English breakfast in the photo. Definitely not American.
#33
Money seemed really weird when I moved back to the US from Australia. US coins felt light and tiny in my hands, like if monopoly had plastic toy coins. And it suddenly infuriated me that all paper denominations were the same color.
Allen Beloe 3 months ago
Not only different colours, but you can also go swimming in Australia and New Zealand without worrying about getting your notes wet - also as they are plastic the newer ones have dimples on them so the visually impaired can differentiate between the denominations. PS Australia uses the tech to make notes for a lot of other countries as well
#34
I spent over a decade in South Africa and here's what hit me the hardest:
* Nobody in the US seems to know much about the rest of the world. I feel like people in other countries are much more of a 'global community'.
* There's so much of everything! There's a whole aisle in the grocery store just for cake mix! JUST CAKE MIX! I used to get panic attacks because I was overwhelmed by all the choices.
* Everything is about 30% easier to accomplish. More online shopping, stores and businesses are open later, etc.
* Many Americans seem to assume that whatever way the US does it is the best. They can't fathom the idea that other countries may have done some things better.
* There's way more premade 'ready to eat' unhealthy food that's cheap and easily available. Suddenly it's actually more time and money to eat healthy, which feels weird. I gained a lot of weight my first year back.
* Racism is just as prevalent, it's just more subtle.
#35
Lived in Paris for 2 years, and it has to be how f*****g loud everyone is here. Like two people at a coffee shop sitting across from each other with full outdoor voices.
#36
The obesity was a complete shocker whenever I came home from Asia. The poor food quality and serving sizes at restaurants was another.
Once I permanently returned to the US the greedy, crappy healthcare system blew my mind and still does today even though I have “great insurance”.
chunky hoey 3 months ago (edited)
Haven't health insurance is pointless! It doesn't cover anything at all. You're paying greedy scam health insurance companies scamming your money!!
#37
How mean and self absorbed everyone is.
The separation between everyone. Both physically, as in we keep to ourselves and are not generally social, and culturally, as in we are not really a melting pot as much as a bunch of different cultures living in the same place that do not blend.
How bad the food makes you feel.
How bad the healthcare system is.
Good ones:
Very rarely have to worry about purchasing counterfeit products.
….
#38
American arrogance and entitlement is high, and a danger to continued prosperity - compared to countries that are ok with being humble and hungry to work hard ….
#39
The US: Shocked that im not able to go from the airport and just simply hop on a train/bus/tram and get to my home. The public transportation systems in South Korea and the Netherlands really spoiled me, and made me realise how terrible the US infrastructure is in this regard.
Logistically going to my home town is a nightmare, must rent a car (expensive!) or arrange for someone to pick me up each time. No uber or anything to take me to the rural part of my state where im from either.
Now i understand one of the reasons why people in rural America don’t really travel much.
James016 3 months ago (edited)
We flew to Rhodes on Saturday. Rather than get a taxi to the airport we got the train. £5 for a cab from home to the station and £30 for the three train tickets.A few stops to Luton airport parkway station and then the Dart to the terminal. It took about 30 mins in total. A cab would have taken longer and cost a lot more.
#40
After a year living in South Korea, I’d forgotten how people don’t have that sense of mindfulness of others in the US. I had also grown accustomed to handing payment over with two hands, which looks weird in the US but felt so impolite when I stopped doing it.
#41
Fat people. There are so many fat people in the US. Plus crumbling infrastructure and homelessness. It’s weird I never saw it before.
#42
I never realized how loud Americans were until I moved abroad and went back to visit. I find it really annoying now, especially when as soon as I step off the plane into the noisy airport I hear everyone yelling and talking so loudly. Very different from where I live now.
LovesBerk 3 months ago
I live in Australia and my husband and me went to a bowling club for lunch (place where they have outdoor bowling as in bowls). Anyway we were sitting there waiting for out lunch and along comes an American guy and just out of the blue shouts out if we know if the lobster will be on for the night time. I was bowled over by his loudness and the way he barged in. He wasn't rude or anything. Just loud. I thought he was going to attack or something, the way he barged in. I just answered that I didn't know and he should go to the counter and ask them. All good. He just walked over and asked. But Jesus. We're not used to that sitting inside in Australia. We are like that if you are out and at a barbecue or something similar and have had a few beers.
#43
I came back from Mexico to attend a family members wedding in Dallas:
1- Literally could not walk to the book store that was 1/4 mile from my hotel as it crossed a freeway and another major intersection. Ended up doing a 30 min loop to get there, which I could see from my hotel window.
2- We went to the Cheesecake Factory on my first night back- got a massive stomachache.
bElLa sTairZz 3 months ago
spent a whole lesson once looking at the cheesecake factory website. never seen a place make more foods that arnt cheesecake
#44
I lived in Japan for a year. When I came back to the US (Houston) it was the diversity that struck me almost immediately.
Anthony Elmore 3 months ago
It's kind of funny that US is in the 'moderate' range for diversity. For those who didn't necessarily pick this up, Japan has... like no diversity. Been there. It's a lovely country, but diversity is not a thing in most area, and if you do see diversity, it's a tourist, most of the time. But then I also here stories of people surprised by the diversity when visiting OTHER countries, which is also incredibly true if you use rural communities in the US as a reference point. Regional difference in the US is freakin' wild.
#45
I was so overstimulated the first time I walked into a Walmart I thought I was going to die. The shops here are so much bigger, brighter, louder, more going on.
#46
Coming back to the states after living in Brazil, you notice that the reason waitstaff at restaurant are always harassing you with questions is not because of “attentive” service but because they want to keep you moving.
#47
1. The amount of toxic chemicals allowed in the food, shampoo, lotion, makeup, perfume, detergent, soap, etc was startling
2. Sports betting was legalized and gambling addictions increased
3. The anti-vaccine movement
4. The amount of conspiracy theories- OMG!
5. MAGA
6. Trump won. I didn’t see that coming!
7. The amount of anger, hatred and hysteria is weird
8. Backlash against the LGBTQ community - why the obsession with them? That’s weird. Are they a new f****h? Did someone watch too much T-girl p**n? I’m very suspicious of the religious leaders and politicians who are against drag queens, trans people, gay people, etc. Are you mad because they don’t want to date you?
No drag queen or trans person ever harmed me. That was straight men. Why are straight men not seen as dangerous but drag queens are? This is really weird and backwards.
9. The amount of guns and gun violence - go have s*x with your gun if you love it so much! It’s another weird f****h
10. D***s being advertised on TV, the radio, bus bench ads, billboards and this is really weird. How much of America do the d**g companies own?
11. Everything is sexualized and I mean everything. This is weird
12. Religious leaders getting heavily involved with politics - stay in your lane! Separation of church and state. If you don’t shut up you will be taxed. This is odd. It’s heavily narcissistic
13. No universal healthcare - it feels like a third world country in America if there’s no universal healthcare
14. Huge cars - are men buying such big trucks and SUVs to make up for their tiny d**k? The bigger the car? The smaller the d**k is what I’ve seen. The bigger the car the more insecure the man is. The man who drives the compact car tends to have a bigger d**k.
Why not go to smaller cars to be able to have smaller parking lots? The obsession with huge cars is so freaky weird.
15. P**n - way too much p**n is easily accessible and kids are getting messed up by it. There aren’t any laws to prevent this from happening. Justin Baldoni is an example of this and he’s got a track record of talking about how much his p**n a*******n messed him up. I guess a p**n a****t is well tolerated now?
16. Depression and anxiety rules the land - I get it. There’s plenty to cause depression and anxiety, but why is nothing being done about it? That’s weird
I didn’t encounter this when living abroad. Are people making it part of their identity now? I’m depressed and that’s who I am. I’m anxious and that’s who I am. We don’t say I am cancer. We say, I have cancer. Why do people not say, I have anxiety or depression? Why is it part of their personality and identity? That’s not healthy or helpful, but it is odd.
When I lived in another country people said, my mom has depression. My sister has anxiety. They didn’t say, they are depression or anxiety.
Why are people so quick to claim a mental illness as who they are?
17. The amount of people who want to be neurodivergent is odd. Why do you want to be called autistic without any testing?
Is this more, it’s my personality and identity? I’m autistic! No, you have autism. Again, no one says I am cancer. You have something, but it isn’t who you are.
The way people describe themselves is strange.
18. My identity is my career, religion, political party - um what? Did you lose your personality?
Why do people make their personality and identity all about the group they belong to? Why do they not describe themselves as who they are as a person? I’m a lawyer. Is that all? I’m a Mormon. Is that all? It’s weird.
I’m a shy introvert. I’m a talkative extrovert. I enjoy horseback riding and competing in rodeos. I enjoy playing hokey and watching hockey. Why do people not describe themselves this way?
This has been a strange adjustment for me. How people see themselves in America is very odd. How they describe themselves is weird.
SouthernGal 3 months ago
I like this comment from OP “ No drag queen or trans person ever harmed me. That was straight men. Why are straight men not seen as dangerous but drag queens are? This is really weird and backwards.”
#48
I'm American and lived in the Balkans for a year (Bulgaria, Serbia, Greece -- in that order). I've gotten so used to completely impersonal strangers and overly personal friends, that when I got back I briefly thought it was EXTREMELY WEIRD that the waiter checked up on us. I missed customer service.
I didn't really miss how Americans conduct friendships though. We befriend one another, usually, to only have fun together, which is fine, but friendships in the Balkans were much deeper much faster. I could discuss divisive political matters and reveal all of my deepest, darkest secrets one night, then the next morning the person I had an argument with was buying me cheese bread and making me coffee. We'd have fun then go back to calling each other morons over a political argument... and the next day we'd go explore an old monastery or something. In the US this is usually the end of the friendship.
This is completely, 100% based off of my anecdotes and by no means defines all Balkan and American friendships, of course. I've had "Balkan-type friendships" with other Americans too, it just seems to be the exception for me personally.
SouthernGal 3 months ago
Sadly, most Americans tend to be narrow minded. They are determined that one side is right and the other is wrong, instead of realizing that it’s a good thing to have various ways to view things and we should have respect for the opinions of others.
#49
Customer service, it's not a thing here.
But also, the tipping, so much tipping, everyone wants a tip. For doing their job. It's tiring.
Anthony Elmore 3 months ago
Everyone needs a tip because companies wormed their way into denying workers wages just because they get tips. Tipping would have been fine if it had remained what it was: Thanks for great service.
#50
- Giant parking lots
- Huge stores like Walmart that sell everything, not just groceries
- Wanting to walk or take my bicycle was "weird"
- dressing nicely (just not in sweats and sweatshirt) was me "trying really hard".
Geoffrey Scott 3 months ago
As far as super centers go, they have been around since at LEAST 1965. Our local one, Meijer(midwest), set the mold for this.
#51
I left the country after 2007 and returned in 2 years, shocked that people’s lives were revolving around Facebook. I had expected it to fizzle out like Myspace 😂.
General Anaesthesia 3 months ago
Instead, Faecesbook spread all over the world like a brain-eating pandemic.
#52
Lots of fat people, no public transport, reduced quality of food, giant cars, excessive advertising.
#53
My fiancee was in Japan for a year. When she got back, the train that goes from Newark Airport to the NJ Transit train broke down in the middle of the tracks before the stop. Well, stopped for 45 minutes, then started again. If the trains in Japan are more than a few minutes late, they are all over themselves apologizing. I don't know if that was her biggest culture shock, but it was what she commented on immediately.
#54
How fast everything moves as compared to Italy. My car broke down; it was towed and fixed in 24 hours. It would've taken a week in Italy.
#55
Americans are so casual: dress, manners, speech.
Jessica Cooney 3 months ago
This is true. Not unheard of in my family to see men in jeans at a funeral.
#57
How much people complain without realizing how good they have it.
How ignorant many people are about geography.
#58
When I returned to the US from China, I got my personal space back. Everyone in China is always pushing up against you. In China it's normal to have 20 people crammed in an elevator. And the smoking! The doctors in China smoke while they're examining you. People smoke in the elevators. Once when there were about 12 of us crammed in the elevator a gentleman was smoking and he almost caught my shirt on fire. It's like they think there is only one elevator and they must all cram into it like their lives depend upon it.
Oskar vanZandt 3 months ago
Nope. I'm hoping out of ever visiting China. Perhaps they need to be pushy in China because their population is so massive?
#59
Others have said it but the food.
The quality of accessible food in America is s**t. You can pay out the nose for quality but elsewhere it is just more available.
#60
Lived in rural China for 2 years. Came back to the US and noticed:
The rapid speed at which everyone walks.
The green grass.
The people who used wheelchairs were visible in society.
The food sucks.
I can't haggle anymore.
The individual is more important than the group.
#61
I grew up in the US. I then lived in Brazil for a bit. I moved back to the US at 19. I couldn't drink legally in the US. It was so weird to have alcohol taken away as an option.
On a happy note, I had somewhat forgotten just how safe the US was.
On a sad note, I also forgot how depressed the US population was.
#62
Echoing another comment here:
The USA infrastructure is so depressingly depleted and crumbling compared to pretty much any modernized Western nation. I haven't been to SE Asia or China, but that's above our heads as well as far as I can tell.
#63
That upon returning home, my American friends had zero interest in the 2 1/2 years I spent living in Asia and South America.
#65
-Drivethru restaurants everywhere
-No people on the streets because everyone is in their cars
-Grocery Stores were overwhelming because of all the choices
-Tipping everywhere for everything, and more specifically the expectation that you need to tip 20%.
#67
The ABSOLUTE HARDEST PART is paying 3x the price at restaurants for simple meals that are essentially poverty food. Rice, mandolin julienne veggies, a dollop of sauce, dash of oil, and - holy s**t - a fried egg, all for 12-18 bucks.
#69
Seeing closed stores completely empty keeping their lights on all night, after being in places with constant electricity outages where people were unable to complete basic tasks like boiling unclean water or cooking in the middle of the day.
#70
- Obsession with phones/being glued to your phone. I left when smart phones were just released but still mostly out of reach for most people. When I came back everyone had a smart phone and it was impossible to get a "dumb phone".
- Lack of community or separation of communities.
- Lots of choices and stuff. So much useless stuff.
- You can have ice in your drink wherever you go and it's safe to drink.
- Washer, driers, dishwashers are luxuries we take for granted.
#71
Lived in Europe for 13 years. I went over overweight, out of shape, eating huge portions, and living off takeout. Came back healthy, in shape, eating clean, and walking every day. Drinking soda or eating anything sugary makes me sick because it’s too sweet. I’ve been back for 8 years now, and I still only eat half my food and save the rest for later and I still eat clean and exercise almost daily.
#73
How big the roads are.
Bruce Mardle 3 months ago
I was struck by the same thing in Melbourne, Australia, when I visited in 1990.
#74
Ireland back home to USA.
Mine were seeing all the American flags everywhere, Ireland has plenty of Irish flags, but nowhere near as many as America.
whenever I sneezed back at home, I would get told "bless you" every time. In Ireland, maybe one out of ten times would someone say that. Not a big deal, but I noticed it.
Normal grocery shops in Dublin have ~15 cereal options, but back in America at Wegmans grocery shops there are two aisles dedicated to cereals, it's glorious. Basically just the amount of everything is much bigger due to the larger populations.
I love Ireland and Dublin, but there's nowhere like home and it's little quirks.
#76
The insane amount of choice. I came back to the states after only a year in the Middle East, and this was 33 years ago. We went to the grocery store and found it very overwhelming. I’ll never forget it. And it’s much more true now.
#77
How so many people hate their parents and don’t feel a responsibility to care for them as they age.
#79
Having to tip again......
#81
Grocery stores.
I lived in suburban US. I lived and worked in 13 countries over a period of 5 years with my longest trip being about 5 months.
What always got to me when I came home were grocery stores. Each country I worked in always had unique challenges. One place, we struggled to find anything drinkable (bottled water, soda, Gatorade, anything that wouldn't make a foreigner sick). Some places, if you wanted things you had to go to individual stores (meat came from a butcher, veggies from the market, etc..). When you found products, you often didn't have any choices, you took what they had or you went without (oh, you want milk? We got shelf stable milk in a box. Oh you don't like milk in a box? Too f*****g bad, that is what we have here).
When you spend months away, living in places where people don't have excess and a myriad of choices, it is really hard to suddenly come back and make choices. The grocery store was always the toughest for me.
It i tough to explain. The closest I have ever seen it attempted to be explained is in the movie The Hurt Locker. In the end, after spending a year in the Middle East, a soldier is with his wife (or gf) and kid in the grocery store and she asks him to get some cereal. The next shot is showing him in an entire aisle full of cereal, trying to figure out which one to get and not really knowing how to figure it out.
It sounds strange, but I can always feel the anxiety and confusion of that scene in the movie. Almost anything in a grocery store in the US is done to excess. Water? We got water with and without bubbles. You want it from a glacier in Iceland or you want treated municipal water that tastes really good? Plastic bottles bother you? Oh, we have these 6 brands in glass bottles, would you like clear or green glass? 0.5L or 1.0L bottles? US or imported? Mineralized or plain? Caffeine or no caffeine? Natural flavorings added or plain? and all you want is a bottle of water because where you just came from, tap water will give you the s***s and you are still in that habit.
#82
How racially diverse America is compared to NZ at least. I spent 8 yrs in NZ and visited the US last year. We are really a cultural melting pot that other countries just don't experience/have.
Roxy222uk 3 months ago
A good few years ago now someone set themselves the challenge of meeting somebody from every single country of the world living in London. I believe he managed every single one except one, somewhere like Kiribati, but managed to find someone from there once his challenge was finished and he published his book.
#84
Being able to understand everyone talking around me all the time. It was so jarring.
Also, the choices in the grocery store. Please just give me three types of toothpaste to choose from. I truly don't need to choose from 40.
#85
Racial divide. Came back to the States for college. Freshman orientation week at Purdue. I was with my roommate who is white and a pair of black fraternal twins. I saw a group of 4 girls, I suggested to the guys let's go and offer our services as campus guides. One of the fraternal twins said: "But they are White". This was 1975.
I was shocked as I had been at a boarding school in England all this time and had not encountered this.
What do you think ?
Wang Zhuang 3 months ago
I moved away from the US in 2014, returned for a year in 2018 before leaving again in 2019. Two things surprised me: 1) How much more expensive things had become, especially housing, and 2) How out of control the tipping culture had become.
Puppy Dancing! 3 months ago (edited)
I am in Canadian, but lived in the US. I missed the variety as a child moving from US to Canada. Couldn't get my usual cereal, favourite Candy. I also went prejudices, despite my mom's best friends and babysitters all being black. I learned all the put downs as normal, I remember holding my breath on the bus as black people went by. Now when I go back, the weirdest thing is the constant boasting about jobs, money, clothing. They all want to put you in a category, and ask you about your wage, show off brand name stuff and ask what do you think about this designer or that one. And discussions around how they are just living in this apartment for a few years until they make the move to a custom made home when they get a promotion. You ask how they are, they tell you some fantasy. They "notice" non brand name sneakers and shoes, your jacket is the wrong type. They take you to brand name restaurants to impress you, and to luxury stores . They always want to shop when you visit.
Gavin Johnson 3 months ago
I worked at a hotel in England and we held a large number of international conferences, through these I dealt with a lot of American guests. I always found them to be decent folk, travelling expands the mind and they never displayed the stereotypical behaviours which are foisted upon their nation. Equally I’ve been lucky enough to have visited the U.S. and drove the Pacific Coast Highway, we had a blast, never encountered anything approaching negativity, even the Police who pulled us over for being a bit too enthusiastic with our speed were decent with us. Our English accents did get us into some awesome conversations and experiences, they also got us OUT of some sticky situations, we didn’t get a ticket for the speeding!
nicholas nolan 3 months ago
This list makes me think two things. 1. F**k Poland and it's super sexist immigration laws, preventing my wife from getting her dual citizenship there, preventing us from escaping to the EU, and also leaving it so her grandmother died a stateless person, as she never became a US citizen. 2. I am looking forward to an obesity-related illness killing me, as it's the only escape. Hope my daughter can escape in her life after I'm gone.
AcraN 3 months ago
Do you ever wonder why 'Amercian bashing articles' are common?
Load More Replies...
Historyherstory (old guy) 3 months ago
So when they say, "I spent a year in so and so", surely you hear, "when mom and dad sent me to so and so for college". What i mean to say here is, some of those judging so harshly come from a comfortable background. Perhaps from families better at hiding wealth even? They have less in common with a toiling everyday American and thusly, I measure the criticism accordingly. Just as maga is a thing (truly) Coastal elites bring their own baggage.
Wang Zhuang 3 months ago
I moved away from the US in 2014, returned for a year in 2018 before leaving again in 2019. Two things surprised me: 1) How much more expensive things had become, especially housing, and 2) How out of control the tipping culture had become.
Puppy Dancing! 3 months ago (edited)
I am in Canadian, but lived in the US. I missed the variety as a child moving from US to Canada. Couldn't get my usual cereal, favourite Candy. I also went prejudices, despite my mom's best friends and babysitters all being black. I learned all the put downs as normal, I remember holding my breath on the bus as black people went by. Now when I go back, the weirdest thing is the constant boasting about jobs, money, clothing. They all want to put you in a category, and ask you about your wage, show off brand name stuff and ask what do you think about this designer or that one. And discussions around how they are just living in this apartment for a few years until they make the move to a custom made home when they get a promotion. You ask how they are, they tell you some fantasy. They "notice" non brand name sneakers and shoes, your jacket is the wrong type. They take you to brand name restaurants to impress you, and to luxury stores . They always want to shop when you visit.
Gavin Johnson 3 months ago
I worked at a hotel in England and we held a large number of international conferences, through these I dealt with a lot of American guests. I always found them to be decent folk, travelling expands the mind and they never displayed the stereotypical behaviours which are foisted upon their nation. Equally I’ve been lucky enough to have visited the U.S. and drove the Pacific Coast Highway, we had a blast, never encountered anything approaching negativity, even the Police who pulled us over for being a bit too enthusiastic with our speed were decent with us. Our English accents did get us into some awesome conversations and experiences, they also got us OUT of some sticky situations, we didn’t get a ticket for the speeding!
nicholas nolan 3 months ago
This list makes me think two things. 1. F**k Poland and it's super sexist immigration laws, preventing my wife from getting her dual citizenship there, preventing us from escaping to the EU, and also leaving it so her grandmother died a stateless person, as she never became a US citizen. 2. I am looking forward to an obesity-related illness killing me, as it's the only escape. Hope my daughter can escape in her life after I'm gone.
AcraN 3 months ago
Do you ever wonder why 'Amercian bashing articles' are common?
Load More Replies... Historyherstory (old guy) 3 months ago
So when they say, "I spent a year in so and so", surely you hear, "when mom and dad sent me to so and so for college". What i mean to say here is, some of those judging so harshly come from a comfortable background. Perhaps from families better at hiding wealth even? They have less in common with a toiling everyday American and thusly, I measure the criticism accordingly. Just as maga is a thing (truly) Coastal elites bring their own baggage.
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