30 Alternate And Infuriating ‘Harry Potter’ Endings J. K. Rowling Wouldn’t Dare To Write
Anyone who has ever succumbed to the "Harry Potter" phenomenon knows that magic is real. And don't worry; we haven't gone mad. We realize Hogwarts doesn’t exist. We admit this parallel universe of magic and the wizards and witches who wield it are creatures of the imagination. But the way this fantasy series cast a spell on the Muggle world proves that the boy who lived in it continues to live on in the hearts of many.
Many devoted Potterheads recall the moment of putting the final book down and mourning that the story is over. Or is it? It looks like some fans couldn't help but wonder about the ways things ended and decided to take action themselves. "How could JKR have ended the Harry Potter books that would have most pissed you off?" Redditor ykickamoocow111 asked, and the internet offered heaps of responses.
The user kicked off the thread by sharing a few events that would have angered them a great deal:
- Harry gets on the train when Dumbledore makes the offer;
- Hermione and Draco realize they are incredibly in love and want to be together forever;
- Ron perishes in a stupid and/or pointless way;
- "It was all a dream. Harry defeats Voldemort and the final line is 'and then Harry woke up in his cupboard, a tear running down his cheek as he realized Ron, Hermione and Ginny never existed.'"
Hundreds of people got creative and decided to share their takes on the most horrible, sad, and riddikulus different endings that would have left them fuming. So we at Bored Panda gathered some of the most intriguing responses from the thread to share with you all. All aboard the Hogwarts Express! Be sure to upvote your favorite replies and chime in with your own ideas in the comments!
Psst! For more wizarding goodness, check out our earlier piece on funny memes every Potterhead will have no trouble relating to.
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The final scene is Harry sat in a therapists office, in a psychiatric ward. The therapist tries to convince Harry, yet again, that he needs to face the reality that his parents died in a car crash. That watching it happen and then being raised by his cruel aunt and uncle who locked I'm in a cupboard under the stairs often, gave him severe mental illness, delusions of grandeur and hallucinations. That this whole 'wizard school' doesn't exist, and he needs to face the truth.
Harry stands, shouts 'stupefy!' while pointing a pen at the therapist, before grabbing the broom in the corner of the room, leaping out of the window with it between his legs, and plummeting 40 feet to his death.
Right as Voldemort is about to kill Harry the Ford Anglia comes out of nowhere and runs him over
Harry wakes up. It was all a dream.
But, later that day, an owl arrives from Hogwarts with a letter for Dudley.
I have always had this alternative ending I’ve imagined since I was a kid. Like what if Harry fully defeats Voldemort and destroys all the horcruxes except the one within himself. The Voldemorts soul inside of Harry overtakes Harry’s consciousness and becomes himself in Harry’s body.
Ford Anglia saves the day. Gets official pardon from the Ministry of Magic and no longer has to live on the run. Ford Anglia and Hogwarts Express ride off into the sunset together
Harry's whole story is just a fanfic written by Colin Creevey. In actuality, Harry's only major issue was having to stay with the Dursleys over the summer who, honestly, weren't as bad as Colin portrayed them. Voldemort actually died when he cast the curse that left Harry alive. Other than that, he was a typical average Hogwarts student. Everything else was a product of Colin's overactive imagination and obsession with Harry.
If Harry had embraced dark magic and become "evil" so to speak. He spent 7 books fighting off the scariest dark wizard of all time just to turn into him.
Harry loses his mind at the last minute and rides on a dragon, destroying Hogwarts and killing indiscriminately.
After dueling Lupin for her love, Voldemort goes to Bellatrix in the Hogwarts basement. He takes her in his arms, says he loves her and that he never really cared about immortality anyways. They are then both killed by the castle collapsing in on them.
McGonagall, the obvious choice for headmaster, decides to instead go on a self imposed exile to America.
Ron and Hermione go their own separate ways, never to see each other again.
Finally, Dean Thomas is the one who truly saves the day at the end and restores order. Because who has a better story than Dean Thomas?
Laughing helplessly at "Who has a better story than Dean Thomas"
Dumbledore coming back to kill Voldemort revealing there are good versions of horcruxes that you can get with self sacrifice and then revealing Harry’s parents did the same and came back.
Harry realizes that the best way to defeat Voldemort is by showing him, and making him feel, *love*. And so at the climax of the battle, Harry drops his wand and embraces Voldemort and says “Tom, I forgive you.” Voldemort falls to his knees suddenly feeling the weight of remorse and regret. His dark magic flies out of him and we’re left with a restored Tom Riddle. To atone for his evil, he becomes headmaster of Hogwarts and works alongside Harry (the minister of magic) to restore balance in the wizarding world.
Voldemort: “Harry, I am your father. You have your mother’s eyes.”
A cringey epilogue where the kids are all grown up and married to each other and they are dropping their kids off at the train, and loudly announcing their kids names so we know that they named their kids after their teachers.
Voldemort kills Harry in the forest and the book ends. Just take out Kings Cross and everything after
The final book is published by EA games.
Each ending to a characters story is blacked out and requires you to buy the DLC.
Creating a sequel where Voldemort has an heir who tries to go back in time and stop Voldemort from attacking Harry’s parents
Oh wait
Pulling a George R.R. Martin and just not giving us an ending, then letting some smuchs come along an write an ending for you ruining a good series for everyone.
Actually, by book 6, I was pretty sure JK was doing that for herself...
Umbridge being elected as the Ministry for Magic because she seems the most capable to deal with the aftermath of the war. Then Harry receives a fine from the Ministry for public disturbance and vandalizing a historical building.
Harry and Voldemort start inexplicably flying around the castle wrestling. They finally crash down in an abandoned courtyard and square off. They say nothing to each other before the final dual. Voldemort casts AK, while Harry casts expelliarmus. The spells connect causing the AK to slowly rebound on Voldemort. Then for absolutely no reason whatsoever, Voldemort just evaporates into smoke.
I would be super pissed if that had been the ending.
This is on the list twice but i don't mind, it sucks so hard it deserves a double mention
“At that point Voldemort had Harry defeated, disarmed his wand, with his foot on Harry’s neck”
“All this effort, Harry. All this wasted effort, only to die in the end.” Voldemort coldy stated
“My effort wasn’t for nothing, I fought for something bigger than myself” Harry struggled to say with Voldemort further digging his foot into Harry’s neck.
“Even now with Death inevitable you chose to act heroic. I will enjoy killing you and your friends Harry. Like your mudblood mother and no good Father.” Voldemort then forced Ron and Hermoine forward to kneel next to Harry
“Lucius and Bellatrix, my two faithful servants. I award you both in killing these traitors. Lucius please kill Ron Weasley while Bellatrix handle the girl.”
“With pleasure my Lord” Malfoy coldly uttered
“In unison all 3 screamed *AVADA KEDAVRA*”
Motionless, our golden trio ended their fight where it began. With each other.
Harry finds out Voldemort was the good guy all along. Dumbledore comes back from the dead with literally no explanation whatsoever and shoots Harry with a gun.
What would his one liner be i wonder? "Who's Dumbledead now byotch??" Or maybe something like: "I TOLD YOU NOT TO PUT YOUR NAME ON THE GOBLET OF FYAH!!". Help me out here guys..
Ron dying as the result of a coldly calculated decision to sacrifice himself so Harry can defeat Voldemort would have been a beautiful parallel to the chess game in book 1
Harry woke up to stomping up and down the stairs. Dudley must be awake. Harry pulled on his glasses and looked at his companion with the missing toe, "I think I figured out how to end my books."
The graying, patchy haired rat nibbled at an itch on its leg.
"The three friends, all married with kids, meet once again on that magical platform."
Harry swung his legs off his tiny bed and prepared to go to his shift at Nando's. An unremarkable boy, with an unremarkable life.
If anyone at all who died came back, it would have made the books meaningless. I was afraid of a whole mass resurrection thing at the end of book seven; thankfully that didn't happen.
I think that was the whole point. Like there are certain things not even magic can make possible. The resurrection stone is magic yet it never really brought anyone back only a shadow of their self.
Imagine this plot twist: Snape is Harry's father
I can live with this. Better than Voldy being his father at least
Snape actually being a bad guy instead a grey area double agent. I think the reveal from Snapes memories is one of the hardest hits in the entire series.
Can you imagine they turned Voldemort good at the end and he’s in the 19 years later bit dropping his kids off at the train
If the ending was more cliched so to speak. Like a perfect happily ever after: Dumbledore comes back, Sirius didn’t actually die, Draco is actually super nice, etc. it’s just immature writing imo (I used to write like that when I was in middle school). Books have to have some stakes and having tragedies in this series make sense more than anything.
A good story must have some tragic side that haunts you forever, much more than some lame happy ending.
Harry choosing to get on the train when Dumbledore made the offer, essentially choosing to die rather than to live.
Hermione and Draco realising they are incredibly in love and want to be together forever.
Ron being killed in a stupid and/or pointless way. I could accept him dying in a way where he saved lives, doing something really brave, but it would have pissed me off a lot if he died by some other means, or some reasonably pointless death.
It was all a dream. Harry defeats Voldemort and the final line is "and then Harry woke up in his cupboard, a tear running down his cheek as he realised Ron, Hermione and Ginny never existed"
Any of those events would have angered me a great deal.
"Ron, Hermione and Ginny never existed" I can't describe the feeling I had when I read this. It was so terrible, unimaginable so much so that it brought tears to my eyes. Growing up, the Harry Potter books were the one thing that gave me a reason stay. Without it, I'm not sure if I would be here today.
Hem hem Mr Potter has skipped school for an entire year, broken into the Ministry twice, destroyed Ministry property (hundreds of unique prophecies!), impersonated someone, attacked Ministry workers and interfered with their tasks, stolen 2 items from the now Minister herself, broken into Gringotts, used an Unforgivable on a Gringotts employee, stolen property from someone else's vault, caused huge damage to the building, set free a dangerous animal, broken into a school, used an Unforgivable on a teacher and murdered a 71-year-old man.
Having a Star Wars-esque duel, full of action movie cliches, where they even grab each other and fall out of a window, to wrestle around in mid apparation, and have it all end with a DBZ Kamehameha vs Galick Gun energy struggle, where Voldemort turns to ash and blows away.
I would be really pissed if she followed it up with a spinoff sequel play that was written by someone else. Especially if that play was completely inconsistent with the lore she spent 7 books establishing. Luckily she would never go for such a blatant money-grab…
ugh I'm so mad at Cursed Child- Harry, while I believe he'd have issues as a father, would not act how he did at all, Ginny is like in two scenes, Ron is depressing tbh, Hermione is a badass tbh but still kinda OOC, Draco... is actually a good father and I honestly liked him. Sue me. Albus was a... kinda a whiny brat? Like I get being Harry's son would suck but ffs dude. Scorpius was amazing. I don't care, I loved him, I wish we'd gotten to know Astoria, I wish the whole book was about him and him only.
What if he woke up in his parents’ home, aged 11, in time for the family owl to arrive with his Hogwarts letter
Dumbledore: "I guess you could say, Harry, that theres a little Voldemort in all of us...
...nah, I'm kidding, just in you, I've got my own Horcruxes lol."
Lupin was my favorite character from the moment he was introduced and I always swore up and down that if he was killed off, I would riot. Well when he died that was basically my worst case scenario. I get that thematically it made sense for the Marauders to all die, but this is still the darkest timeline for me
Voldemort winning the Wizarding War v.2.0 and Harry getting murdered by Voldy finally proving the fact that
"There is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it"
Side Plots :
Disclaimer : These could be brutal ones
1. Dumbledore put under the Imperius Curse by Snape in HBP.
2. Hermione marries Draco Malfoy or Viktor Krum.
3. James and Snape have the same fathers and separated at birth.
4. Dudley is actually a Wizard.
5. Weasleys are actually rich, just that Arthur weasely hid his wealth to evade taxes and ministry attention.
6.
There are... a few unforgivable atrocities of fiction I really hate. In my opinion anyway.
1. Going back in time to prevent Voldemort from ever existing.
2. Resurrection. Regret killing someone off? Sucks for you, shouldn't have done it.
3. Like you, it was all a dream/imagination/written, etc... To me, this sort of thing just kills the story. Takes the fun away. Fantasy is a way to *escape* reality, so dragging us back at the end is cruel.
4. Once a theory, ending it by undermining Voldemort's evil. Few people once thought that Harry and Voldemort would merge into a single entity to control both good and evil. That would be dumb.
5. A character turning out to be smeone from the future. Looking at you, Ronbledore!
Harry’s goodbye conversation with Ron and Hermione now becomes telling them they have to kill Harry when Voldemort enters his body
All the pressure gets to Harry during DH, and he snaps after figuring out he’s the last horcrux. Avada Kedavras Ron and Hermione before throwing himself from the astronomy tower.
Reasonable reaction... Edit: I love how you turned Avada Kedavra into a verb🤣
Ooo Sirius coming back with the resurrection stone because he fell through the dumb gateway thing so he wasn’t “dead” and the stone could give him life. I guarantee she put that dumb arch in as a way to bring him back if she wanted
I get that bringing characters back from the dead or supposedly dead can sometimes be stupid, but I WANT SIRIUS BACKKKKK 😭😭
Harry waking up a muggle. All that happened in all the books was a dream. He lives in Ohio with a Mom and Dad. One of the most overused ending twists. That would have upset some folks.
After the events at Hogwarts they unanimously choose the new Head of Auror Department and subsequent minister of magic, because who has a better story than Dean Thomas?
Harry retires to the north to work as a lumberjack and to have quiet secret life
Honestly though sometimes I think that was all Harry needed. Poor kid had enough adventures to last seven lifetimes.
Your last bullet point would have definitely sent me over the edge.
I guess just anything that would have cheapened the 7 book struggle, like trying to give Voldemort a redemption arc or something like that. Or the final battle having resulted in an anticlimactic lack of a fight (like twilight) or no casualties.
Please don't remind me of Twilight. The ending was terrible to say the least.
Ron dies and Harry and Hermione get together.
What do some people have against Ron?! He's a great character and is Hermione's soul mate (as Rowling has said)
Hagrid dying. I should have known all along he was safe, but I was afraid for him from OOTP-all of DH until the moment where he carries Harry out of the forest.
I kinda think Harry should’ve died. But if he did, it shouldn’t be after getting a choice. He could’ve met Dumbledore to give the readers closure, but then be told that unfortunately he has to follow into the afterlife or choose to be a ghost, the same choice as every other dead person.
But yes, if he does have the choice, it’s 100% within Harry’s character to go back. If given the choice, he’d never abandon the people he loves.
* Harry waking up and finding that he dreamed of being a wizard going to a magical school and making great friends, and that he still lives with the Dursleys.
* Hagrid being killed after taking Harry's "dead" body back to the courtyard
Harry accepts being sorted into Slytherin, is friends with Draco, over the course of the novels begins to turn evil but is able to hide it, creates his own Death Eaters, kills Voldemort and becomes the new Dark Lord.
Exactly. Or he uses his dark power at the end to prevent Tom riddle being born all while understanding that it will result in his own possible non-existence.
Load More Replies...Harry is non-binary, and Hermione is his alter ego. J K Rowling explodes.
"I am Grindelwald" Voldemort said, before revealing his entire past about how he and dumbledore had dated but then dumbledore dumped him and he got real pissed and grew evil
Didn't Grindy dump Dumbles though? Since technically Grindy is the one that left. "Leaving him that night was the worst mistake of my life....but I learned Harry, oh yes I learned".
Load More Replies...Harry dying out of the blue due to an undiscoved and undtreated heart condition and for no noble reason at all, would be a terrible ending. That world is magical, but life is not, and sometimes we just don't get the ending we want, where everything comes together and makes sense.
Also I don't understand the bashing of Ron in that post. He's a wonderful character and Hermione's soul mate.
He's a wonderful character, especially in the books (the movies dumbed him down too much) but I feel that Hermione and Ron were too close, more like siblings, after those 7 years, so I didn't really agree with them getting together, to be honest.
Load More Replies...Here is my favorite alternative: Voldemort: *About to kill Harry* Draco: *slaps voldy* Drarry: *runs off into the sunset* if you can't tell i ship Drarry :b
I'm still pissed Dumbledore didn't come back. He's Order of the Phoenix, for god's sake. Phoenix are reborn. This is the only correct answer, and she blew it.
I get it. But I still think it was the right thing. Dumbledore's death was what made them all actually grow up. Up till then, Dumbledore showed up at the end and everything was sorted but then they had to deal with everything themselves.
Load More Replies...I dunno. I think a horrible ending would have been defeating Voldy and cutting to the future where their kids are getting on the train with all the same prejudices and vices that led to the rising of a dark lord in the first place.
I've never understood why some people ship Draco and Hermione. Ron and Hermione are perfect for each other as it was meant to be and Draco is a mean bully. That's just toxic.
Because even if Ron & Hermione are cute together they argue a lot & that’s not a good basis for a mature adult relationship. It’s the basis for a pretty toxic one. Hermione/Draco is just as toxic [more, really, considering Draco bullied Hermione], but JK has never been good at examining the underlying nuances [or lack thereof] when it comes to romance. James Potter was a huge bully & ends up with the brightest girl in his class who hated him for years and watched him mercilessly terrorize her childhood friend. Her track record is questionable to say the least.
Load More Replies...Actually, some of these are okay by me. Seven godkids, I read all seven bloody nasty long AF novels out loud *seven times* for them... and endured the films. Anything but JKR's version at this point!
At the battle of Hogwarts where most of the magic people are present a comet appears on the sky. Not much people are aware of it since they are too busy with the fight. Luna Lovegood though look up and recognize it as an omen of salvation. Than it seems the comet is going exactly towards Hogwarts. Its not a comet after all but a trident ballistic nuclear missile sent by the muggles. Everybody is vaporizing. The remaining wizards are infiltrated by SAS commandos and interrogated by the MI6. They got rid of Dementors. Britain then enjoyed better weather.
In final battle, Harry and Voldy creates a big explosion, that hits the whole world. Magic vanishes like it never existed.. While wizards are panicking, Hermione brings gun and shoots Voldy.
"...jk rowling for her horrible discrimination towards minority groups..." "...overrated bigot..." Wait What? Can you give an example of stuff she's said? From what I understand, she had concerns about single-sex spaces and the erasure of women and lesbians, then radical activists freaked out (https://terfisaslur.com/j-k-rowling/) and sent her death threats, told her they'd kill her children, sent her images of bomb-making manuals, doxxed her and posted her private home address online, and sent her rape threats (and keep in mind she's a sexual assault survivor). What part of that makes her a "bigot"?
Load More Replies...Harry accepts being sorted into Slytherin, is friends with Draco, over the course of the novels begins to turn evil but is able to hide it, creates his own Death Eaters, kills Voldemort and becomes the new Dark Lord.
Exactly. Or he uses his dark power at the end to prevent Tom riddle being born all while understanding that it will result in his own possible non-existence.
Load More Replies...Harry is non-binary, and Hermione is his alter ego. J K Rowling explodes.
"I am Grindelwald" Voldemort said, before revealing his entire past about how he and dumbledore had dated but then dumbledore dumped him and he got real pissed and grew evil
Didn't Grindy dump Dumbles though? Since technically Grindy is the one that left. "Leaving him that night was the worst mistake of my life....but I learned Harry, oh yes I learned".
Load More Replies...Harry dying out of the blue due to an undiscoved and undtreated heart condition and for no noble reason at all, would be a terrible ending. That world is magical, but life is not, and sometimes we just don't get the ending we want, where everything comes together and makes sense.
Also I don't understand the bashing of Ron in that post. He's a wonderful character and Hermione's soul mate.
He's a wonderful character, especially in the books (the movies dumbed him down too much) but I feel that Hermione and Ron were too close, more like siblings, after those 7 years, so I didn't really agree with them getting together, to be honest.
Load More Replies...Here is my favorite alternative: Voldemort: *About to kill Harry* Draco: *slaps voldy* Drarry: *runs off into the sunset* if you can't tell i ship Drarry :b
I'm still pissed Dumbledore didn't come back. He's Order of the Phoenix, for god's sake. Phoenix are reborn. This is the only correct answer, and she blew it.
I get it. But I still think it was the right thing. Dumbledore's death was what made them all actually grow up. Up till then, Dumbledore showed up at the end and everything was sorted but then they had to deal with everything themselves.
Load More Replies...I dunno. I think a horrible ending would have been defeating Voldy and cutting to the future where their kids are getting on the train with all the same prejudices and vices that led to the rising of a dark lord in the first place.
I've never understood why some people ship Draco and Hermione. Ron and Hermione are perfect for each other as it was meant to be and Draco is a mean bully. That's just toxic.
Because even if Ron & Hermione are cute together they argue a lot & that’s not a good basis for a mature adult relationship. It’s the basis for a pretty toxic one. Hermione/Draco is just as toxic [more, really, considering Draco bullied Hermione], but JK has never been good at examining the underlying nuances [or lack thereof] when it comes to romance. James Potter was a huge bully & ends up with the brightest girl in his class who hated him for years and watched him mercilessly terrorize her childhood friend. Her track record is questionable to say the least.
Load More Replies...Actually, some of these are okay by me. Seven godkids, I read all seven bloody nasty long AF novels out loud *seven times* for them... and endured the films. Anything but JKR's version at this point!
At the battle of Hogwarts where most of the magic people are present a comet appears on the sky. Not much people are aware of it since they are too busy with the fight. Luna Lovegood though look up and recognize it as an omen of salvation. Than it seems the comet is going exactly towards Hogwarts. Its not a comet after all but a trident ballistic nuclear missile sent by the muggles. Everybody is vaporizing. The remaining wizards are infiltrated by SAS commandos and interrogated by the MI6. They got rid of Dementors. Britain then enjoyed better weather.
In final battle, Harry and Voldy creates a big explosion, that hits the whole world. Magic vanishes like it never existed.. While wizards are panicking, Hermione brings gun and shoots Voldy.
"...jk rowling for her horrible discrimination towards minority groups..." "...overrated bigot..." Wait What? Can you give an example of stuff she's said? From what I understand, she had concerns about single-sex spaces and the erasure of women and lesbians, then radical activists freaked out (https://terfisaslur.com/j-k-rowling/) and sent her death threats, told her they'd kill her children, sent her images of bomb-making manuals, doxxed her and posted her private home address online, and sent her rape threats (and keep in mind she's a sexual assault survivor). What part of that makes her a "bigot"?
Load More Replies...