Hey Pandas, AITA For Hiding My Husband’s Trading Cards?
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If you find yourself disagreeing with this person’s actions, we encourage you not to downvote the post. Instead, kindly express your opinions in the comments. We recommend maintaining politeness and articulating your thoughts with well-constructed arguments.
I have consistently had a problem with my husband refusing to clean up/pick up his trading cards on a regular basis. I’ll pick them up and put them away every couple of weeks or so when I get tired of looking at the mess, but I’m handling all the other housework as well (we both work full time, but his week is about 60+ hours while mine is 40), so I don’t have time to do this every day. Our dining table is so covered with them that we have no room to sit there.
So one day, I got fed up and I told him, “these need to be picked up on a daily basis, or the next time I have to do it, I’m getting rid of them”
Image credits: Erik Mclean (not the actual photo)
Lo and behold, he does nothing. So I picked them all up again, and instead of throwing them away (some of them are valuable, and I’m not petty or foolish enough to just throw away money), I hid them all in his sock drawer.
He came home that night and asked me where they were right away because he had sold one of the cards
Image credits: Priscilla Du Preez (not the actual photo)
I told him I’d thrown them out like I said I would. That he was aware of the consequences, and that he had a chance to deal with the mess before I ever got involved. He was quietly mad, but he called the buyer back right away and told them that the sale was off.
Then I showed him the drawer with all his stuff in it, and I think he was more mad about that than about me actually throwing the cards away
Image credits: Die Handwerksmeister (not the actual photo)
I’m not saying I did the right thing; I know it was petty and childish. But I’ve been trying to ask nicely for the better part of a month, and he’s just not paying attention to it. I’ve spent upwards of $100 on organizers and shelves for him to use to put this stuff away, and they might as well be decorations for all the good they’re doing. I feel like nothing I do seems to matter. How bad did I just mess up?
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NTA. He needed a shock to the system to understand that you were serious, and by not actually throwing out the cards you gave him that shock without actually doing anything wrong.
Your husband is an open space organizer, he wont take the time to put things in tiny designated places. Get a pretty basket. Put it on the table. Say, "this is for your cards. When you are done with them, dump them in here." He's 90% more likely to clean if you make cleaning an easy task. For people like him (and myself) baskets are your best friend.
I agree with giving this a try. I didn't realise this til my 30s but it's really helped - I have quite bad executive dysfunction because of my Asperger's so basically I have organisation issues ++. But bigger tubs I can put related stuff in keeps the mess itself contained, I know where things are, and clearing up is simple. It's similar to how things work with waste in the kitchen - things go in the bin to be put out in the outside rubbish bin, a tub that goes out into the recycling bin, and into a food waste bin to go in the outside food waste bin (though obviously I don't throw out my stuff lol, I just put it in the appropriate tub.)
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Honestly, should have opened up about the lie before he told the buyer the deal was off. It's not the buyers fault what happened
He didn't tell me about the buyer til after I told him the cards were gone. As soon as I found out, I told him where they were, but he'd already called the buyer back by then.
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NTA Clearly stated boundary and consequences. He has no one but himself to blame for missing out on a sale. Perhaps you could have a constructive conversation where you ask what right he has to be annoyed when you had tried asking nicely, then firmly, then put your foot down. Yes, you both live there, it’s as much his space as yours. Now ask him to think about that statement. It’s as much YOUR SPACE as his, therefore you both have equal rights to say what you will or won’t tolerate. Reminds me of the time I warned my ex any time I found his sweaty socks ANYWHERE but the laundry basket, after years of pleading but resentfully picking up after him, I would throw them out. It was honestly disgusting, he’d leave them everywhere, including the kitchen and dining room 🤮. Took him a few weeks to realize his sock drawer was running low. He was also very angry. I just shrugged and reminded him I was crystal clear with my warning.
He may be a putz, but he's YOUR putz and it is his house too. If repeated requests and making an organizational plan for him wasn't working, sit him down and tell him that not having the table for use was a boundary for you, and what could you do TOGETHER that would allow him easy access to his hobby while giving you both back the table. Have him participate in planning a solution gives him buy-in to doing it instead of just being told what he has to do. My husband frequently covers our table in car parts (new, not dirty), tools and other project items. He is not uncomfortable with that, but he does like to sit down and have dinner. So we compromise - when he is actively working a project, I back off for a while. When he is not, I ask him where in the house he would like to eat because we don't have room at the table, and he organizes and puts things away.
He knows it's his house.... If he didn't consider it his, I doubt he would be so messy (you could eat off the floors and desks at his work). And idk if it's relevant, but the furniture all came from my family, and I've been doing most of the housework and paying all the bills except rent, so it seems to me that the least he could do would be to pick up after himself... This is a grown adult we're talking about, not a 10-year-old who doesn't know any better. But maybe I'm just biased because I've been dealing with it for so long...
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NTA! I have a small child, who also likes trading cards, and immediately after finishing playing with them, he gathers them and puts them in a drawer, where they are beautifully organized. If a child can clean and organize his stuff, why can’t a grown man do it. If he behaves like a child, he gets treated like a child.
As a Pokemon card collector and an ADHDer, I can say that you're husband's habit of leaving cards on the table isn't to spite you in any way. I struggle with the same problem of cleaning up my cards when admiring or organizing them. When you talk to him, I fully believe that he intends to clean them up, but forgets when he's done. I don't think this is 'inconsiderate,' I think it's just him forgetting to pick his stuff up before moving on to the next thing. Now, I think the threat of throwing away the cards might be a little cruel, no offense to you. From what I can see in this post, he cares about those cards quite a bit, and he'd be shattered if they were thrown away. I think you two could have a conversation about this, and maybe give a little incentive to clean up. I know this may seem childish, but if it works, it works I suppose. Take this with a grain of salt, though. I'm just a random person on the Internet.
As far as I know, he has no -strong- emotional attachments to the cards. He cares about them because some of them are valuable, and because he went through a bunch of packs to find some of them. He'd be upset if they -all- got thrown out, but he himself has thrown away some of his bulk cards before.... I could believe you about the forgetting if I didn't remind him multiple times a week -and- put the organizer -right next to his bed- so he could take them with him when he got up to go to sleep. It's not unmanageable: alarms are a great tool....
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Why not find another large table for him to use? Give him a section of a room with plenty of lighting and let him corral his cards there. Both my husband and I have hobbies that require sorting and resorting, so I get the mess. And all kitchen table messes get no more than 24 hours to be removed.
Our house is tiny: we just don't have the room. I do understand the mess, and I have no problem with him having everything out when he's -actually there- sorting it. He just doesn't put it away when he's done.
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He's the bigger AH, but lying was a silly thing to do. If he's really got valuable ones, constantly taking them out and leaving them out is going to eventually cause damage that will devalue them, so not storing them nicely is already a bad choice on his part. The fact that you have talked to him about it and he isn't making any changes is really frustrating.
If he's keeping them to trade and sell surely he'd have them in slips to stop any damage but even more so storing them.properly would be even better. An album e.g. which would be even easier to tidy up once finished with.
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ESH. He's not respecting your request and creating more work for you which is not okay BUT you should not throw away someone else's belongings...or even threaten/pretend to. You treated him like a child. I wouldnt even do that to a child, actually. It sounds like you guys need some help with communicating your wants and needs in a healthy, respectful way. Is there some compromise? Does he have an area that is his...even a small desk,.etc that he can claim and clean as he sees fit? And you don't have to worry about it. It seems like a power struggle. I hope you guys can come up.with a resolution.
He doesn't have such an area, but neither do I (small space). That's why him cleaning up after himself is such an issue. And I have tried asking him, and telling him my expectations, and doing everything I can to make it easier for him. I've "communicated" til I'm blue in the face. This was not the first place my thoughts went to to deal with this issue, believe me.
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Old adage "two wrongs don't make a right" applies. He's an AH for not picking up after himself. Poster is an AH for both lying and threatening to destroy something someone loves. Emotional abuse is abuse and neither of them has an excuse for their behavior.
He just quietly accepted that you had thrown them out? He didn't get upset or try to retrieve them from the bin?
No, he didn't get overly upset until after I told him where they were. He's very much able to see when something is a consequence of his own actions (i.e., something he was warned about and did anyway), so I -think- he blamed himself at first for not picking them up by the deadline, and then he got mad at me for being petty after he found out I'd changed my mind (I did fully intend to throw them out when I'd said it, but then I realized how silly it would be to actually throw away that much potential value).... I'm not saying he was wrong to get mad. I just wanted to know if A) I went too far, and B) what other options I have to fix this issue.
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Is there any kind of mental health issue that he's struggling with? Because if not, then totally and absolutely NTA. Your husband appears to think of himself as an adult (he married you, and I'm sure marriage is for adults only), but apparently he is not adult enough to actually look after himself and his stuff and/or deal with problem solving (while being the cause of this particular problem).
Is Boredpanda starting to hide the links to the source of these posts now?
NTA. You told him multiple times that you would do it if he didn't change his behavior. If he didn't say that he wouldn't change, then he knew it was coming. Honestly, your husband is acting like a teenager. This sounds like a real problem and you need to talk with him.
We're both in our early 20s, so...we are young-ish? I've been talking with him. It just doesn't seem to make a difference...
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You are right to be annoyed about him leaving them out but you were incredibly wrong and manipulative to pretend to throw them away. Basically you treated him as a child instead of your husband and lied to him. Now he has less of a reason to trust what you say. You said you would throw them away. You didnt. you put them in a drawer. you should have told him that you would "put them away" your own way instead of lying and saying you would throw them out. Honeslty it sounds like you both need to have better communication which is hard working 40-60hours a week. he was wrong and inconsiderate to leave them out and you were really a jerk to lie to him. I think you owe him an apology and you both need to come up with a plan to deal with his cards. Help him figure out a solution instead of lying.
She's tried! She has said repeatedly that she tried. She bought stuff to organise them and he wouldn't use it. She has asked many times for him to tidy the cards away. What other option is left. It came across to me like it was a last resort to get his attention on how much it is annoying her to have the table in a small space be out of order because he can't pick up some cards when he's done with them.
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NTA but I think there is an easy compromise to be made. There are TCG binders that you can get. It keeps everything organized and on display in individual sleeves in a book format. That way there are no cards scattered about and every card is easy to find.
He has binders. He has deck boxes (and bulk boxes). He has a fancy 15-cubby organizer with a cabinet underneath that I -specifically bought- for his cards so they wouldn't be in the way, and I had previously put the cards -in- said cabinet the last time I cleaned them up, and told him "this is for your cards."
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I'm just amazed that he cares so little about the condition of his cards that he leaves them out all the time. I have a friend who's seriously into MTG and his cards are super organized and always stored away the moment he finishes gaming with them. But I guess everyone is a bit different.
Sounds like a pretty petty thing to get upset about, considering all the other problems of life and marriage. And one spouse dictating to another and imposing consequences is always problematic. No adult likes to be talked to or treated like a child, especially by the most emotionally important person in their lives. It hurts pretty bad when that happens.. some will say "well he was acting like like child". Not sure I agree, but even still,he's an adult. He shouldn't have to act a certain way or perform certain tasks to be accepted/treated as such by his spouse. Not saying she should ignore what bothers her. Just not sure about how it was addressed.
It would be petty to get upset about if I'd just asked once.... It's the fact that I've been asking repeatedly (and offering support) and he refuses to fix the problem that bothers me.
Load More Replies... Are you his mother or his wife? It sounds like you are treating him like a child for not picking up his toys. Why can't a grown man enjoy a hobby in his own home? I doubt you have even considered that he likes his cards out and may simply not want to put them away every time he decides to enjoy them. Hiding his cards sounds like a passive aggressive attempt to control him and will do nothing but create resentment. Let the poor guy have one thing in the house that makes it feel like his home instead of your empire.
It -is- his house. He knows that. I have no problem with him enjoying his hobbies. I just want him to respect that it -is- my space as much as it is his. You think I don't want to leave my jewelry-making stuff out, or my puzzles? IF I do, I either move it somewhere else out of the way, or I let him know "I'm going to leave this here because I'm not done with it, let me know if you need me to put it away." He has never had to put away my things because I do it myself. All I'm asking is for the same courtesy.
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You had a problem with where he left his things but did you ever try talking with him to find out why he might be leaving them out? Did you ever talk with him about how he would like to store his cards or did you just decide for him how best to organize his cards? How would you have responded if he took offense to something you enjoy and pretended to throw them out? You have likely destroyed his trust in you and, assuming you go with the NTA crowd, I wouldn't be surprised if he left you.
I am not offended by the cards: I'm tired of him not picking them up. I have spoken with him multiple times about picking them up. I have asked him what I can do to make this easier for him, and he said "I don't know." I have done my best to involve him at all points of this process. He keeps saying he's tired when he gets home and doesn't feel like talking about it.
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NTA. In all fairness, you warned your husband about leaving his cards lying about. He chose to blow you off; he lost out on a sale as a result. But let him know that the next time he leaves his cards out, they WILL be thrown out, regardless of their value. Then follow through on it. Once he realizes that you mean business, he'll either get with the program, or watch his collection dwindle down to nearly zero. When you choose the action, you choose the consequences.
NTA. You warned him, he didn't listen. He's a grown man who can put his stuff away like a grown man. You've been gracious enough to actually not throw them away.
Talk with him about not wanting to function like ur his mother wrt the cards
It isn't your job to pick up after your husband like a child. Does he not have respect for his stuff? Cards are especially likely to be ruined and lose value if you aren't taking care of them appropriately.
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NTA. He needed a shock to the system to understand that you were serious, and by not actually throwing out the cards you gave him that shock without actually doing anything wrong.
Your husband is an open space organizer, he wont take the time to put things in tiny designated places. Get a pretty basket. Put it on the table. Say, "this is for your cards. When you are done with them, dump them in here." He's 90% more likely to clean if you make cleaning an easy task. For people like him (and myself) baskets are your best friend.
I agree with giving this a try. I didn't realise this til my 30s but it's really helped - I have quite bad executive dysfunction because of my Asperger's so basically I have organisation issues ++. But bigger tubs I can put related stuff in keeps the mess itself contained, I know where things are, and clearing up is simple. It's similar to how things work with waste in the kitchen - things go in the bin to be put out in the outside rubbish bin, a tub that goes out into the recycling bin, and into a food waste bin to go in the outside food waste bin (though obviously I don't throw out my stuff lol, I just put it in the appropriate tub.)
Load More Replies... Honestly, should have opened up about the lie before he told the buyer the deal was off. It's not the buyers fault what happened
He didn't tell me about the buyer til after I told him the cards were gone. As soon as I found out, I told him where they were, but he'd already called the buyer back by then.
Load More Replies... NTA Clearly stated boundary and consequences. He has no one but himself to blame for missing out on a sale. Perhaps you could have a constructive conversation where you ask what right he has to be annoyed when you had tried asking nicely, then firmly, then put your foot down. Yes, you both live there, it’s as much his space as yours. Now ask him to think about that statement. It’s as much YOUR SPACE as his, therefore you both have equal rights to say what you will or won’t tolerate. Reminds me of the time I warned my ex any time I found his sweaty socks ANYWHERE but the laundry basket, after years of pleading but resentfully picking up after him, I would throw them out. It was honestly disgusting, he’d leave them everywhere, including the kitchen and dining room 🤮. Took him a few weeks to realize his sock drawer was running low. He was also very angry. I just shrugged and reminded him I was crystal clear with my warning.
He may be a putz, but he's YOUR putz and it is his house too. If repeated requests and making an organizational plan for him wasn't working, sit him down and tell him that not having the table for use was a boundary for you, and what could you do TOGETHER that would allow him easy access to his hobby while giving you both back the table. Have him participate in planning a solution gives him buy-in to doing it instead of just being told what he has to do. My husband frequently covers our table in car parts (new, not dirty), tools and other project items. He is not uncomfortable with that, but he does like to sit down and have dinner. So we compromise - when he is actively working a project, I back off for a while. When he is not, I ask him where in the house he would like to eat because we don't have room at the table, and he organizes and puts things away.
He knows it's his house.... If he didn't consider it his, I doubt he would be so messy (you could eat off the floors and desks at his work). And idk if it's relevant, but the furniture all came from my family, and I've been doing most of the housework and paying all the bills except rent, so it seems to me that the least he could do would be to pick up after himself... This is a grown adult we're talking about, not a 10-year-old who doesn't know any better. But maybe I'm just biased because I've been dealing with it for so long...
Load More Replies... NTA! I have a small child, who also likes trading cards, and immediately after finishing playing with them, he gathers them and puts them in a drawer, where they are beautifully organized. If a child can clean and organize his stuff, why can’t a grown man do it. If he behaves like a child, he gets treated like a child.
As a Pokemon card collector and an ADHDer, I can say that you're husband's habit of leaving cards on the table isn't to spite you in any way. I struggle with the same problem of cleaning up my cards when admiring or organizing them. When you talk to him, I fully believe that he intends to clean them up, but forgets when he's done. I don't think this is 'inconsiderate,' I think it's just him forgetting to pick his stuff up before moving on to the next thing. Now, I think the threat of throwing away the cards might be a little cruel, no offense to you. From what I can see in this post, he cares about those cards quite a bit, and he'd be shattered if they were thrown away. I think you two could have a conversation about this, and maybe give a little incentive to clean up. I know this may seem childish, but if it works, it works I suppose. Take this with a grain of salt, though. I'm just a random person on the Internet.
As far as I know, he has no -strong- emotional attachments to the cards. He cares about them because some of them are valuable, and because he went through a bunch of packs to find some of them. He'd be upset if they -all- got thrown out, but he himself has thrown away some of his bulk cards before.... I could believe you about the forgetting if I didn't remind him multiple times a week -and- put the organizer -right next to his bed- so he could take them with him when he got up to go to sleep. It's not unmanageable: alarms are a great tool....
Load More Replies... Why not find another large table for him to use? Give him a section of a room with plenty of lighting and let him corral his cards there. Both my husband and I have hobbies that require sorting and resorting, so I get the mess. And all kitchen table messes get no more than 24 hours to be removed.
Our house is tiny: we just don't have the room. I do understand the mess, and I have no problem with him having everything out when he's -actually there- sorting it. He just doesn't put it away when he's done.
Load More Replies... He's the bigger AH, but lying was a silly thing to do. If he's really got valuable ones, constantly taking them out and leaving them out is going to eventually cause damage that will devalue them, so not storing them nicely is already a bad choice on his part. The fact that you have talked to him about it and he isn't making any changes is really frustrating.
If he's keeping them to trade and sell surely he'd have them in slips to stop any damage but even more so storing them.properly would be even better. An album e.g. which would be even easier to tidy up once finished with.
Load More Replies... ESH. He's not respecting your request and creating more work for you which is not okay BUT you should not throw away someone else's belongings...or even threaten/pretend to. You treated him like a child. I wouldnt even do that to a child, actually. It sounds like you guys need some help with communicating your wants and needs in a healthy, respectful way. Is there some compromise? Does he have an area that is his...even a small desk,.etc that he can claim and clean as he sees fit? And you don't have to worry about it. It seems like a power struggle. I hope you guys can come up.with a resolution.
He doesn't have such an area, but neither do I (small space). That's why him cleaning up after himself is such an issue. And I have tried asking him, and telling him my expectations, and doing everything I can to make it easier for him. I've "communicated" til I'm blue in the face. This was not the first place my thoughts went to to deal with this issue, believe me.
Load More Replies... Old adage "two wrongs don't make a right" applies. He's an AH for not picking up after himself. Poster is an AH for both lying and threatening to destroy something someone loves. Emotional abuse is abuse and neither of them has an excuse for their behavior.
He just quietly accepted that you had thrown them out? He didn't get upset or try to retrieve them from the bin?
No, he didn't get overly upset until after I told him where they were. He's very much able to see when something is a consequence of his own actions (i.e., something he was warned about and did anyway), so I -think- he blamed himself at first for not picking them up by the deadline, and then he got mad at me for being petty after he found out I'd changed my mind (I did fully intend to throw them out when I'd said it, but then I realized how silly it would be to actually throw away that much potential value).... I'm not saying he was wrong to get mad. I just wanted to know if A) I went too far, and B) what other options I have to fix this issue.
Load More Replies... Is there any kind of mental health issue that he's struggling with? Because if not, then totally and absolutely NTA. Your husband appears to think of himself as an adult (he married you, and I'm sure marriage is for adults only), but apparently he is not adult enough to actually look after himself and his stuff and/or deal with problem solving (while being the cause of this particular problem).
Is Boredpanda starting to hide the links to the source of these posts now?
NTA. You told him multiple times that you would do it if he didn't change his behavior. If he didn't say that he wouldn't change, then he knew it was coming. Honestly, your husband is acting like a teenager. This sounds like a real problem and you need to talk with him.
We're both in our early 20s, so...we are young-ish? I've been talking with him. It just doesn't seem to make a difference...
Load More Replies... You are right to be annoyed about him leaving them out but you were incredibly wrong and manipulative to pretend to throw them away. Basically you treated him as a child instead of your husband and lied to him. Now he has less of a reason to trust what you say. You said you would throw them away. You didnt. you put them in a drawer. you should have told him that you would "put them away" your own way instead of lying and saying you would throw them out. Honeslty it sounds like you both need to have better communication which is hard working 40-60hours a week. he was wrong and inconsiderate to leave them out and you were really a jerk to lie to him. I think you owe him an apology and you both need to come up with a plan to deal with his cards. Help him figure out a solution instead of lying.
She's tried! She has said repeatedly that she tried. She bought stuff to organise them and he wouldn't use it. She has asked many times for him to tidy the cards away. What other option is left. It came across to me like it was a last resort to get his attention on how much it is annoying her to have the table in a small space be out of order because he can't pick up some cards when he's done with them.
Load More Replies... NTA but I think there is an easy compromise to be made. There are TCG binders that you can get. It keeps everything organized and on display in individual sleeves in a book format. That way there are no cards scattered about and every card is easy to find.
He has binders. He has deck boxes (and bulk boxes). He has a fancy 15-cubby organizer with a cabinet underneath that I -specifically bought- for his cards so they wouldn't be in the way, and I had previously put the cards -in- said cabinet the last time I cleaned them up, and told him "this is for your cards."
Load More Replies... I'm just amazed that he cares so little about the condition of his cards that he leaves them out all the time. I have a friend who's seriously into MTG and his cards are super organized and always stored away the moment he finishes gaming with them. But I guess everyone is a bit different.
Sounds like a pretty petty thing to get upset about, considering all the other problems of life and marriage. And one spouse dictating to another and imposing consequences is always problematic. No adult likes to be talked to or treated like a child, especially by the most emotionally important person in their lives. It hurts pretty bad when that happens.. some will say "well he was acting like like child". Not sure I agree, but even still,he's an adult. He shouldn't have to act a certain way or perform certain tasks to be accepted/treated as such by his spouse. Not saying she should ignore what bothers her. Just not sure about how it was addressed.
It would be petty to get upset about if I'd just asked once.... It's the fact that I've been asking repeatedly (and offering support) and he refuses to fix the problem that bothers me.
Load More Replies... Are you his mother or his wife? It sounds like you are treating him like a child for not picking up his toys. Why can't a grown man enjoy a hobby in his own home? I doubt you have even considered that he likes his cards out and may simply not want to put them away every time he decides to enjoy them. Hiding his cards sounds like a passive aggressive attempt to control him and will do nothing but create resentment. Let the poor guy have one thing in the house that makes it feel like his home instead of your empire.
It -is- his house. He knows that. I have no problem with him enjoying his hobbies. I just want him to respect that it -is- my space as much as it is his. You think I don't want to leave my jewelry-making stuff out, or my puzzles? IF I do, I either move it somewhere else out of the way, or I let him know "I'm going to leave this here because I'm not done with it, let me know if you need me to put it away." He has never had to put away my things because I do it myself. All I'm asking is for the same courtesy.
Load More Replies... You had a problem with where he left his things but did you ever try talking with him to find out why he might be leaving them out? Did you ever talk with him about how he would like to store his cards or did you just decide for him how best to organize his cards? How would you have responded if he took offense to something you enjoy and pretended to throw them out? You have likely destroyed his trust in you and, assuming you go with the NTA crowd, I wouldn't be surprised if he left you.
I am not offended by the cards: I'm tired of him not picking them up. I have spoken with him multiple times about picking them up. I have asked him what I can do to make this easier for him, and he said "I don't know." I have done my best to involve him at all points of this process. He keeps saying he's tired when he gets home and doesn't feel like talking about it.
Load More Replies... NTA. In all fairness, you warned your husband about leaving his cards lying about. He chose to blow you off; he lost out on a sale as a result. But let him know that the next time he leaves his cards out, they WILL be thrown out, regardless of their value. Then follow through on it. Once he realizes that you mean business, he'll either get with the program, or watch his collection dwindle down to nearly zero. When you choose the action, you choose the consequences.
NTA. You warned him, he didn't listen. He's a grown man who can put his stuff away like a grown man. You've been gracious enough to actually not throw them away.
Talk with him about not wanting to function like ur his mother wrt the cards
It isn't your job to pick up after your husband like a child. Does he not have respect for his stuff? Cards are especially likely to be ruined and lose value if you aren't taking care of them appropriately.
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