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“Going Downstairs After Turning Off The Lights” And 30 Other Things That Our Community Is Afraid Of Doing Alone
Before going on vacation alone, I'm always a bit of an anxious extrovert. I really love trying new stuff, meeting new people and being outside in the world but I'm anxious just before that. I have to warm up to the situation.
What's something you always wanted to try but are too anxious about doing all by yourself? For me, it's going to a bar and having a cocktail. I do that with my friends but I've never been alone.
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Been happily married for decades. My biggest fear is dying last and spending the last years of my life without him. Can't imagine remarrying anyone else. I don't want to spend my golden years alone and without sharing it with him.
I was afraid for 27 years of living by myself, supporting myself and facing who I'd become as a result of capitulating to my narcissistic husband for so long. Then he forced a divorce on me and after almost four years on my own, I've realized how stupid I was for being afraid. I'm finally free.
going downstairs after turning off the lights! this is kind of a joke but it’s not 🥲
Solo female world traveler here, absolutely adore going to a pub in England, will never go to an American bar. I'm American. Roofies, being sexually harassed/assaulted, being around volatile, unpredictable drunk people, NO.
I'm with you sister! I'm a single American female and wouldn't walk into a bar unless I had a body guard!
As a bigger woman it's 100% eating out alone. Doesn't matter if its something unhealthy or just a salad I always feel like everyone around me judges me. That's why I always order food in and eat at home when I don't want to cook.
Please don’t. I used to be afraid of eating alone because of the eating alone stigma around here, especially because I am not local and didn’t speak well. However, my lunch group was borderline unbearable that I started to go out by myself, clutching on the newspaper (this was 20 years ago) and ate at lightning speed. Now, eating alone is a bliss. And since I am staying far away from my loved ones, watching movie alone is my favorite leisure as well. I think there is a study that we feel watched and judged, but statistic actually show that is not the case. So, go out there and enjoy your time.
Probably going outside in the night by myself. Like I step one step and I think Slenderman, some kidnapper, or a wild animal is gonna get me
Travel - I'd love to explore new cities and places all by myself, but as a young woman it just seems too dangerous.
I would love to go to New York City (never been there) but definitely not by myself. I would be completely overwhelmed by a city that large and crowded.
Serious question here, is New York really that bad on your own? I'd love to go for a long weekend, but it's not really somewhere that my husband wants to visit, and even if he did come with me, I know he wouldn't be into the same type of trip as I would. I would try to see as many of the sights as possible and do a lot of walking, whereas he would prefer to only see one or 2 sights and find a nice café to relax in.
I've been alone, it's great, getting around is easy and there is so much to do! There are always places to go and new things to try. Museums, shopping, shows, landmarks, are all enjoyable in your own. Ofc it's better if you have someone to share it with, but it can be great solo. I lived alone and did many things on my own before I met my husband, and have zero regrets. One day I just decided I wasn't going to let other people (or lack of another person) stop me from enjoying my life.
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Manhattan is exceptionally safe, but I can easily see how it's overwhelming.
As someone who worked and before that played in the city. NY has so much to offer. Look confident, and just go for it. And think about this. Nearly all the people around you, are also by themselves.
I used to go to NYC alone all the time to see Broadway shows. I took the train and would see 2 or 3 shows a day. The rest of the time I'd walk around or sit in a restaurant watching people. It was one of the great joys of my life! I haven't been in a while though. Traveling solo can be a lot of fun.
I went alone for a weekend, as a youngish woman. I was fine. It’s a matter of being smart. Don’t travel at night in sketchy areas, pay attention to your surroundings, etc.
I'm going to NYC naxt year. I'm taking my best friend with me. Alone in NYC sounds scary, especially for the first time
It's worth a visit, I've been twice and loved it! But there is no way I would ever dream of going alone.
Try upstate new York, it's not inner city but it's beautiful in the right spots
I travelled to New York in my late 50's. Stayed in a tiny bed and breakfast on the Upper East Side. Ate, shopped and saw the sites on my own and never had a moments concern-( I was thoughtful about where I went and at what time) One of my travelling Hilights.
I have been to NYC and would definitely go alone. The best place on earth, in my honest opinion.
Oh, but make sure you go, you have to experience the NY life. And- I totally agree, take someone with you, so worth the experience. My boyfriend took me to see the Rockefeller Christmas Tree, that is all I wanted to see, I stood there and stared at the beautiful lights for quite awhile. Everything else that I experience was amazing.
NYC is safe as safe as any other city. Tourists stay in their own places and no one bugs them. Just go it's awesome!
Wow... I wasn't expecting this one. Have some common sense, don't act like an idiot, and you'll be fine.
I've been to NYC several times on my own, usually go for a few weeks then visit my bestie I Ohio. I'm female and from the UK, I've never been street smart to be honest, but I've mostly felt safe when I'm there on my own.
I actually don't mind walking through NY city. Even at night. What terrifies me is walking in downtown Denver during the day.
I wouldn't travel to *any* large city alone, especially if you're female.
You're not missing anything but over paying for everything. Go visit Buffalo much more beautiful and you can go to Canada in 10 minutes!
Leaving the house. I'm disabled, and cannot take more than a few steps before I need to rest.
I put skull decorations on my cane. It made my point for me. If I need to stop a moment, then go ahead. Say something to the lady with the cane covered in laughing evil skulls...
Going to the toilet in the middle of the night... what if the bogeyman comes and raids your secret candy stash when you're in the bathroom?
Parallel parking in a tight spot with the work van.
Well... I am petrified of being the centre of attention (like making a speech or preforming) but it kinda helps if my friend is there, not a lot but a bit.
Entering a room full of people (even if I know some of them). Approaching a group of acquaintances alone is scary too.
How about watching a horror movie, and then lying in bed waiting for the zombies to come?
It worries me to drive on my own at night.
Going to a place with big crowds without a group I’m specifically going with. Take a recent school dance. Even when I went with a group, they left for 20 minutes to chat with other friends and I couldn’t find them anywhere. I have pretty bad anxiety in social situations and when it flares up I unconsciously scratch my arm. By the time I found other friends, my arm was raw :( luckily my friends I went with found me again after a little while, but man I don’t like being by myself in big crowds.
I used to scratch my arm under pressure or in stress. Once, I scratched it to bone. Now I have this ravine-like scar. It's like my skin had been removed permanently. Most ppl are scared of it
I’m afraid of showering without someone in the house. I have some issues tbh
I don't blame you. It's always comforting knowing any sounds I may hear will likely be someone else. But if I'm alone I get a strong feeling I'm not alone and I hear noises that I feel like I shouldn't be hearing, including voices.
Something I'm afraid of doing alone... I'm scared of existing alone. If you understand, you understand, if you don't, you don't.
Oddly, merely writing that and seeing the answers should make you feel less alone.
Parenting. I've always wanted to have kids but I've witnessed loads of great relationships completely fall apart after kids. I've seen so many men who start out excited to be dads just walk away when things get tough and either barely put in any effort to see their kids or never bother with them at all. My 4 sisters have all struggled as single parents with nonexistent dads and it affects every aspect of their lives as well as their kids' lives.
One of my sisters had 2 kids 11 months apart and her ex left her when she was pregnant with the second, they're 3 and 4 now and my sister is a mess. Mentally she can't cope, she's permanently exhausted and overwhelmed and her kids are extremely anxious and run circles around her.
I've been with my partner for 12yrs and known him for 19yrs but as much as we both desperately want children and I think he'd be a great dad, the fear of him changing or walking away when things get tough, leaving me to do it all alone, terrifies me. We've been trying to get pregnant for years with no luck and the idea that it might never happen breaks my heart, but I'd rather never have kids than have them and end up struggling to do it alone.
Putting together IKEA furniture
I rather do it alone when no one is home. Being a woman seem to make especially men think they need to come and take over without my consent.
Talking to older kids/people who aren’t someone that I know. The only exception is asking to pet other people's dogs.
This one is weird but hey, I’m 11
This was actually hard for me to answer because I really like doing most everything alone. I've lived a very adventurous life and been extremely independent, I even intentionally became a single parent which has been awesome. But I think something I might be intimidated to do on my own is travel to countries where I don't speak the language.
I'll still do it alone, for sure, that's my plan actually, but yeah, it's something I'm a little afraid of. Fears are meant to be either faced or respected and we each decide which it is every time.
Usually, if I'm afraid to do something alone, I take some time to plan and prep, then I go for it. It's worked out well for me so far.
Having a seizure
okay I have a seizure disorder and I'm scared of that too. I'm not conscious when I have them so I could seriously hurt myself. Oh and here's a tip if you witness someone having a seizure with no one around, turn them on their side, and talk to them letting them know you're helping them. Turning them on their side can stop them from choking to death if they throw up, and talking to them may help if they are conscious.
More dread and social phobia which is fear-adjacent, but taking an Uber or Lyft alone and the awkwardness of feeling like I am a princess for sitting in back seat while I am driven around. But the real phobia here kicks in if so am going solo and the driver opens the front passenger door or motions for me to sit in the front seat. So damned either way.
Taxi licenses, in Canada anyways, are required to be on display. Always match the drivers face to the ID before you get in and close the door. As an extra precaution, after you call to arrange a taxi ride, call back and ask the dispatcher who picked up the job and correlate the name with the ID. Keep your GPS on on your cellphone, 911 ready to dial, and always inform family or a close friend of your location, time, and destination beforehand.
Driving long distances. Drove 1,500 miles round trip once and almost fell asleep. I had to take BIL home after FIL funeral and had to work the day we left and only had one day off between shifts. I couldn't stop to rest because of work so yeah 24 hours and almost fell asleep and wrecked five miles from home. Falling asleep was prevented by getting a phone call and managed to pull out of the small ditch with no damage to the vehicle.
Bench pressing. I've seen enough fail videos to know that it can be painful (maybe end with a hospital visit) if you don't have a spotter.
Being alone in an apartment at night. I have no such problem during the day but at night I'm always afraid that I'll get ill or have an accident and there will be no one to help me. Even though I'm perfectly healthy and not really accident-prone.
(Paradoxically, I've no problem with being alone on the street at night despite being a rather petite woman.)
No wait! Think of it THIS way........ If you have an accident at night, in a crowded apartment building, I like to think there is more chance SOMEONE will be awake to hear you yelling, because there is more people around you. But then I used to worry that some idiot might be smoking in bed or fall asleep with the deep fryer on two floors down. So I guess it's a real rock or a hard place kinda thing.
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I am not sure I fear it, but I do know I would not want to die alone.
I'd like at least to have my SO (if I have one) there with me. If not, the people I love and care about the most that are still alive.
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I was going to say something similar. I prefer to do pretty much everything alone.
Load More Replies... wow, some people really have issues doing stuff alone. I'm rather the opposite, I love doing stuff by myself. I rather struggle if I don't get enough me-time.
Talking to anyone alone. There are very few people I feel comfortable in 1-on-1s with.
Being alone with my sons they're just like me, and it's scary as hell
My fear is the future. I would elaborate. But I'll say this, it's 2023 and I live in America
When I get out of bed, flying leap to get back on cause duh monsters go there if I’m alone 😂
Traveling. It sounds really dumb even to me. I could go all over Europe, see so many amazing things, and do stuff; but I stay home because most transportation scares me, as well as the idea of becoming lost.
I am not sure I fear it, but I do know I would not want to die alone.
I'd like at least to have my SO (if I have one) there with me. If not, the people I love and care about the most that are still alive.
Load More Replies... I was going to say something similar. I prefer to do pretty much everything alone.
Load More Replies... wow, some people really have issues doing stuff alone. I'm rather the opposite, I love doing stuff by myself. I rather struggle if I don't get enough me-time.
Talking to anyone alone. There are very few people I feel comfortable in 1-on-1s with.
Being alone with my sons they're just like me, and it's scary as hell
My fear is the future. I would elaborate. But I'll say this, it's 2023 and I live in America
When I get out of bed, flying leap to get back on cause duh monsters go there if I’m alone 😂
Traveling. It sounds really dumb even to me. I could go all over Europe, see so many amazing things, and do stuff; but I stay home because most transportation scares me, as well as the idea of becoming lost.
