Authoritarian parenting places high expectations on children with little responsiveness. It focuses more on obedience, discipline, and control rather than nurturing the child.
And while this approach might raise responsible, goal-driven people, it also tends to damage their self-esteem, create problems with accepting failure, and leave them with a lack of social abilities.
Interested in how such moms and dads manage their households, Redditor u/Elveyon asked platform users to share the most ridiculous rule they had to live by. And many delivered.
Continue scrolling to check them out and don't miss the talk we had with broadcaster, lifestyle blogger, and parenting expert who runs the website Honest Mum, Vicki Broadbent — you'll find it in-between the entries.
This post may include affiliate links.
I was grounded from the time I was 8 until I moved out. My stepmom would always find another reason to extend it, no matter how small, even just my bookcase being messy, and at some point it just became normal that I wasn't allowed to do anything and my dad didn't bother to fight it. And grounding for me didn't just mean I couldn't play video games, it was everything. I had no access to any kind of tech (she took away my alarm clock when she found out I was using the radio on it), I couldn't go outside, I couldn't watch TV, I couldn't be up past 8 (yes, even in summer when I was 17), I couldn't leave my room without a good reason, I wasn't even allowed to be in my sister's room or talk to her at all.
I lost my real mom at 5, and my stepmom came into the picture within the year. I was still nowhere near recovering, and felt like she was trying to replace my mom, so of course I wouldn't call her "Mom" or anything like that. She and my father married when I was 7 without asking me or my sister (3 at the time). My little sister was only 1 when my mom died, and didn't feel bad letting our stepmom be "mom". She didn't even know anything else. She loved my sister and hated me, and I started doing worse and worse in school, giving my stepmom reason enough in my dad's eyes to keep me grounded that whole school year. It just never stopped after that.
When I was 9 she found a cover to a porn DVD I'd found in the trash and beat me with the buckle end of a belt. My grandparents (mom's side) got pictures of the bruises, but were too afraid my dad would move me across the country to do anything. It was enough that she was never physical again, but she just started making me write sentences after that. It started out *"I will not lie"* 100 times, but that didn't keep me busy long enough, so she kept adding to it every time I did something she didn't like. The worst was when I was 14, and I ate some stevia packets from on top of the fridge, and told her I didn't know where the empty packets came from out of fear. *"I will not lie, I will not steal. God hates a thief and sin is death."* 10,000 times. Due by the end of the month, in December. While I was writing them out, she came by my door, didn't say a word, and just set her belt on the doorknob.
That was about as bad as it got, and honestly I consider myself lucky it never got worse. I went to my grandparents' house almost every weekend, and they tried to spoil me as best they could. They weren't rich, but they loved me and gave me everything they could. I wouldn't be anywhere near the kind of person I am today without them, and I'm so thankful they were a part of my life. They taught me how a family is supposed to show love, since my mom couldn't, my stepmom wouldn't, and my dad didn't know how.
I don't know if anyone is gonna read this (I'm kinda late to the thread), but if you got all the way here, thank you. I've been thinking about that part of my life a lot lately and it's helped to just get it out. It's a huge part of me that I'll never completely get past, but it's gotten easier.
Oh my god. That is absolutely horrible. I really hope you're okay now <3
"The authoritarian parenting style seems utterly archaic and reminiscent of Victorian times, to me," Vicki Broadbent, the author of Mumboss: The Honest Mum’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work and at Home, told Bored Panda.
"It certainly reminds me of the style of teaching I was subjected to at strict private schools I attended (and wasn't a fan of). It's not how I raise my own children nor is it how I'd advise others to either."
It was never explicitly stated or anything, but I was never allowed to have a bad day, or feel upset about anything.
I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety during high school. Got home from the doctor, and my mother told me that she couldn't love me anymore and that I didn't have a right to feel like that.
Would get screamed at almost every day about how ungrateful I was and to 'snap out of this f*****g phase'.
She forced me to give her my passwords for Facebook, Skype and pretty much everything else, and would religiously log on every night to read through my private messages to see what I was talking about.
Had to have all electronic devices confiscated after 9pm, this caused a number of late assignment submissions at school.
I ended up burying my mental illness for a few years, didn't let my parents anywhere near what my feelings were doing.
Fast forward, now in first year of university. Started hearing voices and seeing things, thinking about dying on a more-than-daily basis. Turned 18, got myself to hospital and got prescriptions I've needed for years.
It's been almost a year since then, and while I'm still fairly unwell I'm doing a little better.
"Children need love and, most importantly, to know they are loved (through actions and words) in order to thrive. It is our duty of care as parents and guardians to be compassionate and nurturing whilst exercising boundaries," Broadbent said, adding that this doesn't mean you throw discipline out of the window.
"It's important children learn how to be respectful and follow rules but there is a gentle way of exercising those. Being firm and fair but equally loving. To criticize the behavior, not the child. For example, when my 13-year-old spoke rudely to me today, he lost access to his phone. The punishment must fit the crime."
If I farted it was 2 hours outside, even in the freezing winter. One day I collapsed in the cold and was taken away from my mum after I was hospitalised 3 hours after collapsing; then lived with my grandparents for the rest of my childhood and legally not allowed to see my mum until I was 18. Guess it counted as child abuse
Of course, mistakes happen. Especially when it comes to something as challenging as raising a child.
In fact, the statement that it is the hardest job in the world isn't just a catchphrase. According to a new Pew Research Center survey, most American parents (62%) say being a parent has been at least somewhat harder than they expected, with about a quarter (26%) saying it's been a lot harder.
This is especially true of mothers, 30% of whom say being a parent has been a lot harder than they expected (compared with 20% of fathers).
My mom once kicked me out of the house for being gay and I'm not even gay
The same survey also asked whether moms and dads tend to stick to their guns too much or give in too quickly, praise or criticize their children too much, be overprotective or give too much freedom, and push their children too hard or not hard enough, and the share which said neither option accurately describes their parenting style ranged from 34% to 53%, meaning that most households probably couldn't be described as solely strict or flexible, and have features of both.
My mom wouldn’t let me open a new milk without her permission or open anything really without it. Like we would have an extra milk in the garage fridge and I would use the rest of the mil inside.
Instead of a normal household where you could just get more I had to call her and ask. So that meant if she didn’t pick up then I would have to wait for her to call back.
The first time I realized this wasn’t normal is when I friend went to open a new gallon of milk and I got super anxious and was like “dude you have to call your mom right now or she’ll freak out.”
She was like “umm... my mom will be okay if I need a glass of milk.”
It suddenly clicked that my mom was a control freak.
"If you push your children to feel they must achieve 10/10 and nothing is ever good enough, they will feel constantly on edge and that your love is conditional," Vicki Broadbent said. "Focus on praising your children on their behavior, attitude, kindness etc., outside of school objectives/exams."
Analyzing your own past will probably point you in the right direction when you aren't sure how to react to a particular situation. "Reflecting back on my own high school days, I felt disrespected, dismissed and that I could never do any good in my teachers' eyes so I stopped trying," Broadbent added. "It's a miracle I did well academically."
Something less serious.
My mom was paranoid everyone and everything was a kidnapper. She hated the mailman on our route. So, when I was young, 3, 4 years old, my mom told me it was illegal to be outside when the mail came.
Around 11:15 every day I'd see that truck coming. I'd high tail it inside the house, terrified I would be spotted.
Fast forward 30 years. I still genuinely feel a tinge of panic in the smallest recesses of the back of my brain when I see the mailman arrive. Only now it's overpowered by the excitement of my latest Amazon package I really don't need.
Well at least this mom was concerned for her daughter unlike some in this thread
"Children fare better mentally, physically, and academically when they feel emotionally safe and furthermore, when they're having fun," Broadbent said.
"Parenting is a tough gig no doubt, no one expects you to be perfect, we're all simply trying our best but my advice, is to be the parent you wish you had in your life if yours didn't match up to expectations and reconnect with your inner child and how you felt at your kids' age."
I had a stepdad who was a police officer and all this occurred until I was 15:
-I had to eat beans first on my plate and then clockwise. If I didn't follow this rule, I would get no food and smacked from dinner table.
-I couldn't listen to Vanilla Ice because it was "black music"
-I had to stand in the corner with both feet on floor and back straight for hours
-I had a time limit on hugging my mother. If we hugged too long he called me homosexual slurs
-I had to get up in the morning and sit on the toilet and shine his leather while he showered
-I couldn't shut the door to poop
-I couldn't shut the door to shower or bathe
-if my bed squeaked at night, I would get whipped for what he thought was self-pleasuring
Oh, yeah. There is more. I just don't want to dig into those tunnels before bed.
EDIT: I am Mid-thirties straight male and in a professional career. Happened 84-1997 in Southern U.S. This is just surface stuff. I didn't even mention the stuff I KNEW was off growing up. He is retired on police pension living off the state. Never had a single charge formally put in his jacket or his criminal record.
Mom was abused as well.
Thanks for the words internets!
Luckily, it sounds like most moms and dads are succeeding. When KidsHealth.org and TIME for Kids surveyed over 9,000 children ages 8 to 14, 85% of them said they have fun with their parents and 79% said they feel close to them.
My dad wouldn't let me go out, at all. The only time he would let me leave the house was to walk to school and even then, he had to walk me to the entrance. Was teased for it all the time. Due to my isolated upbringing, I'm very socially awkward...and he wonders why I won't go out and find myself a partner. He never raised my sisters that way, just me.
He also wouldn't let me chew gum. He would flip out. He has physically pried my mouth open to take the gum out.
He is such a bizarre, controlling man.
Makes me wonder whether you were the youngest, or looked just like your mum/aunt/a relative who did something wrong when unsupervised. Hope you enjoy spreading your wings one day.
my time to shine.
-no nail polish
-no tights under dresses
-no drinking tea
-not allowed to watch anything with any cursing
-had to call my parents sir and ma'am (now they're upset that I call them this instead of mom and dad, but it's what they asked me to do)
-bed time of 9:30 until I was 18
-parents took my phone at 9pm every night when I was in high school and read through all of my texts
-opening my bank statements
-not a rule, but my parents would read my diary and go through my computer, and once left video cameras up while I was hanging out with a friend and talking. they loved to repeat things I had said or written to me, just to let me know that I had no privacy
-in elementary school, my parents sat me down and said "we just want you to know, if you get pregnant while living with us we WILL kick you out"
-my parents gave my dog away while I was at school one day without telling me. I was nine
and these days they wonder why I never want to share anything with them 🙃
edit: added more bc this is kind of cathartic
I once got grounded for 2 months because my school bus was late.
EDIT: Back story - I was 12 years old when this happened. A couple of kids almost got into a fistfight before the school left the parking lot and the bus driver had to get the principal to break it up and escort them back into the school. The bus driver lectured us about fighting before driving us home. This caused us to be 30-minutes late. When I explained this to my mother she blamed the whole situation one me which was completely irrational because 1.) I barely knew the kids who were involved 2.) I was an introvert/bookworm type who never got into a fight & 3.) if I had been in the fight I would have been taken to the principal's office for punishment instead of being allowed to ride the bus home.
She made a rule that I would be grounded every time the bus was late going forward regardless of the reasoning. I grew up in the northeast part of the U.S., so even when the bus driver had to drive home slowly because of snow I would still get punished. Needless to say, I wasn't allowed out of the house much in middle school & high school.
I was not allowed to use the money cheat on Sims growing up because that's not how the "real world" works, I used the cheat once and couldn't explain where all the money I had came from so I was grounded and had Sims taken away.
Come on, it's a freaking video game, not real world. Are there vampires, zombies and ghosts in the real world? (There weren't the last time I checked).
Nobody in my house was allowed to get the mail except my dad. Doesn't matter what time he got home. Leave the mail in the mailbox. He would also personally open all the mail no matter the recipient. He would always know if anyone touched it.
Edit: We aren't in piles of debt, I am not Harry Potter, I think he just likes control.
Go to school, but i wont drive you, get good grades but dont stay for any extracurricular or sports because once you get home you have a list of chores to do. Must be perfect, theres a water spot on this fork you have to redo every dish in the house. I just made food after you vacuumed, you missed all these crumbs do it again, why are you still up so late, light off (while trying to get homework done since i spent hours cleaning) no friends over, curfew is 8pm, 8:01 youre not allowed in just stay out. Youve done everything i asked, you dont deserve your room, you get the garage. And you need to pay some rent to live under this roof so you need to get a job. Oh you got a job okay move out, if your.stuff is here by the time i get home its going in the trash :)
Edit: i feel the need to note that i am a girl, ive seen a lot of references asking if im their brother or refer to me as he- probably makes this worse that their daughter had to be out at all hours of the night with all this but just tt clarify for yall
WHAT?!?! Man, so many insaaaaaane parents!! JFC people are absolutely bonkers.
When I was 17 my parents “grounded me” and confiscated my savings account. Literally transferring all of the money from my account to theirs. They day I became ungrounded and the money was transferred back, I closed the account and opened a new one with another bank that was not connected to theirs.
I had a ton of absurd rules growing up, too many to just list one.
No eating of birthday cupcakes at school. No giving or receiving of birthday presents.
No dressing up for Halloween or going trick or treating.
No Christmas presents.
Must get up every Saturday morning, put on a full suit and tie no matter the heat, and knock on strangers' doors to try to give them propaganda for a cult.
Not allowed to have friends who weren't in said cult.
Threatened with disownment if I ever wanted out of said cult.
That's part of why we live today without Prince. He was a JW and required a blood transfusion for his ailments which is against JW doctrine. The Jehovah Witnesses helped to kill our beloved Prince. RIP, you amazing man!
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Looking back over 30 plus years of being a Jehovah's Witness and I realize how truly disgusting it all really was. My only regret is not listening to my heart and leaving it way later than I should have. I have stories that could make your toes curl about all the lies and hypocrisy and things that happen behind those closed Kingdom Hall doors.
It’s really hard to break free of any cult. Been there. Done that. My family were not members of it and were overjoyed when I left. You had to leave everything and everyone behind. No matter how sick, it’s still hard. But you did. Find your OWN (emphasis) way and follow it. You’ve started to free yourself of it. That takes time too. The cool thing now, now, is you get to be you and the life you choose for yourself. Your own beliefs.
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Oof. My best friend in high school was raised JW. I accidentally got her in terrible trouble for giving her a birthday present. She noped out of that group when she found her dad making plans for an arranged wedding to one of his cronies. Now she's a very happy pagan. :)
"to one of his cronies." I'm so glad she got herself out before that happened. How disgusting!
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Right? Disownment means all the presents and cupcakes. Seems like a pretty sweet deal.
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They don't recognize any holidays. That's why. No birthdays, etc.
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My aunt became a JW sometime in her 30's I think. She told my Great Grandma she was going to Hell. After I gave birth to my first child, my aunt sent me a 4 page letter about Jehovah with one sentence congratulating me on the birth. After my dad, her older brother, died, she said he promised her a computer and gave the the specifics of what she wanted. (Nothing to do with JW, I know). I told her that if Dad wanted her to hav
have anything, it would be in his will. She didn't get anything.
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No Halloween, secular christmas parties, secular Easter celebrations here either. Pentecostal here. Child of the 80s. We were all lucky if we got two presents each growing up. More often than not, no presents due to no money for em. --. Now in my mid 40s and I do not partake in secular celebrations whatsoever.
Had to get home before the sun set. Even though I went to school an hour and a half away and would get home at the same time each day, but always found myself in trouble during winter.
The rule was that my mom had to pick out my friends because she didn't want me hanging out with anyone who wasn't Catholic or was into Satanic content.
To my mom EVERYTHING was Satanic. So basically just about everyone I brought home was influenced by the devil because their parents let them listen to modern pop music and watch Pokemon and DBZ (mid-late '90s.) Visiting their homes was strictly forbidden on account of the fact that the only opinions she wanted me to have were hers and hers only. It also didn't help when I wanted to play at the park with my friends and my mom would literally follow us and watch us the entire time. Eventually, no one wanted to be my friend anymore and that was when the bullying began. This torture went on for 7 years. Then my mom wondered why I didn't have any friends and was bullied for such a long time. It was a miracle that I even had friends when high school came along.
Needless to say, I'm not a Catholic anymore and my mom and I are not in good terms. There was a s**t ton of crazy rules living with my parents (mainly from my mom; my dad only followed to avoid arguments), but this rule was the one that affected me the most.
EDIT: Thank you for the gold!
I had to ask for permission to use the bathroom and I was not allowed to shut the door. My younger brothers did not have that rule.
I was not allowed to be in any room with the door shut unless it was with my dad.
I was not allowed to eat unless I had been weighed. If I weighed too much I did not get to eat.
I was allowed to watch some tv but I was not allowed to touch any buttons either on the tv or the remote. My brothers were allowed to do whatever.
I was only allowed to read 20 pages of material a day. This included school work and the mandatory newspaper reading session.
Even until I went to college I was not allowed off of the property unless it was for a job or school. We lived in a suburb. Getting a job was hard because I had to get my younger brothers to go with for the interview. And we had to come up with an excuse for them to leave.
Every time I had a conversation with someone I had to recount the entire thing to my parents and in my diary.
My diary was read on the daily and if I forgot to put something in, I was grounded.
If I ate something without permission, I was required to throw it up.
Attended Church 3 times on Sunday (9am 11am and 7pm) followed by Bible study Tuesday nights and Youth Group Friday nights.
I can count on 1 hand the times I missed attending from birth until I moved out at 17.
I haven't been back since.
Basically don't be shocked when she hits you. If you flinch, that's disrespect. If you raise your hands to cover your face, that's a threat. If you threaten to call the police or hit back, that's questioning her authority.
I put up with that for 22 years. Finally at 24 I stand up for myself. I have yet to hit her back lol. I'm compiling evidence to take to the police.
EDIT: Holy f**k I got my first gold!
As you are an adult, you can move out without her permission and you probably don't need masses of evidence to take to the police so please get yourself out of that dangerous environment as soon as you can. Police can put you in touch with volunteer groups who can help with emergency housing etc.
I wasn't allowed to leave my room. I could go to the bathroom or kitchen but I better have a reason to be there.
Noone in the house was allowed to shave or have a razor at all. I could go to a barber or shave at a friend's house, but had my PC taken away when I tried at home. I still don't understand my mother's logic behind this one.
When I was a teenager, my Mum wouldn't let me shave my legs in the shower - only dry shave so that I didn't end up with cuts that turned into scars. I could see her reasoning.
I'm 27 years old and still don't know what they expect me to wear on my feet when in the house. Barefoot? "Are you trying to catch a cold?" Socks? "Stop wearing bare socks! You'll wear a hole in them!" Shoes? "Stop tracking stuff in!"
Edit: forgot to add that a few years ago, I gave up on the idea of making them happy in any way, and they gave up on me in turn, so this particular fight hasn't come up in a while.
Edit 2: To the people saying house slippers, they shot that down too. "Money doesn't grow on trees. We're not buying special shoes just for the house."
After I turned 9 y/o I wasn't allowed to watch cartoons anymore. I hated my dad for it.
What are you supposed to watch on TV if not cartoons? Boring talk shows?
My parents were all over the place with strictness. When I was old enough to drive, my younger sister and I would drive to McDonald's, just a few miles away. My parents would admonish us "Whatever you do, do NOT eat french fries in the car!!!!". Invariably, we would get home, they would run out, open the car doors, sniff, and start screaming at us for eating french fries in the car. We never did.
Edit: Apparently NOBODY read those last three words, as I got a ton of messages saying "WHY DID YOU HORRIBLE KIDS EAT FRENCH FRIES IN THE CAR?????????", so, again, "We never did!"
It's a stupid rule of course, but I can see where the parents came from those fries stink up the car for days even if kept inside two bags
My grandmother made me write out the encyclopedia entry on witchcraft when she found out I had read the first 4 Harry Potter books, if that counts?
my dad was raised with the idea that kids essentially have no opinion, which he passed on to my sister and i. if we were doing anything and he or my mom needed us to do something else, we were expected to immediately drop it and go do the other thing. which doesn't sound that bad until i'd be in the middle of painting or something else messy, be called to do dishes, then in the middle of dishes be called to clean up the original mess, then go to clean that up and be yelled at for not finishing dishes. and lord help me if i said "just a minute!" or anything of that ilk.
My mom was absolutely obsessed with clean feet. Every day before school, she would make sure we got in the bath and cleaned our feet. I know most of you people are like, "Yeah well when I take a shower I'm already standing in soapy water, so good enough" but that attitude would get your face slapped off around my mom.
She'd have the bath full of scolding hot water every morning and the first thing would we do, before eating, before showering, before changing into our clothes, is dip our feet in that too hot water. Then my mom would load our feet up with this really strong smelling soap from some specialty store or something, because I've never seen it anywhere else, and she would scrub every square microinch of our feet with this stiff bristled big toothbrush thing. Maybe it was for cleaning horse teeth, I don't know.
It hurt so bad. The water was too hot, the soap stung, and the brushing was too intense. I never got used to it, but I couldn't talk back or avoid it either. If I tried to get out of it or complain about it, BLAM! Slapped across the face. Complain about the slap? BOOM! Grounded from TV, the computer, friends, and books.
It wasn't until I left for college did I experience what it was like to not thoroughly clean my feet every single morning. It felt liberating. I even walked around without socks sometimes (my mom always made us wear two pairs). I still had my feet scrubbed like hell when I came home to visit though. Only those times it felt good, as if they needed a good cleaning.
Even now when I see my mom, she wants to clean my feet. It's pretty great actually. Imagine going to the dentist to get your teeth cleaned, but it's for your feet instead.
My parents were horrible parents in general but the most bizarre rule that my siblings and I put up with was that we weren't allowed to sneeze multiple times in a row. One sneeze? Fine. Another sneeze after some arbitrary number of minutes later? No problem. Two sneezes in a row? Get yelled at for being unhygienic (even if you covered your nose/mouth properly) and for having no manners. God forbid if you sneezed thrice or more in a row... I have seasonal allergies and one time, my dad was in a particularly bad mood and caught me in a sneezing fit and grounded me for a week.
My mom and I didn't get along and she did this count to 3 thing. I used to get in trouble for stuff I didn't do so I got sent to my room a lot. I would then refuse to go there so she came up with this rule where she would add an extra hour every time I talked back after she got to 3. I ended up spending 8 hours in my room once because my sister lied about me doing something.
My parents had some pretty weird ideas about what was "safe" for their kids to do.
Me: Can I go to a boy/girl sleepover?
Parents: No!
Me: Can I go to a party where there will be booze if I promise not to have any?
Parents: No!
Me: Can I teach myself how to breathe fire?
Parents: Just keep it outside, sweetie!
Reminds me of that Calvin and Hobbes comic. "When I grow up I'm gonna be a radical terrorist!" "Mm-hmm." "I'm gonna inhale this can of pesticide!" "Mmh." "I'm gonna watch TV all night!" "No you're not."
My parents were super laid back but my mother's step dad Larry could be a huge a*****e. She told me that one morning, as a kid, she was given a chocolate covered donut and, as a kid will do, decided to start nibbling off the chocolate. Larry decided this pissed him the f**k off, and asked her promptly to stop eating the donut like that. "Oh just let her eat the donut how she wants" said mom's mom washing dishes. Kid mother continues to eat chocolate around the edges. Larry then shoots up shouting "KNOCK THAT OFF" and f*****g pitches his morning cup of coffee across the kitchen where it explodes on the wall next to mom's mom.
I'm thankful that Larry was not in my mother's life for long.
Edit: if you're out there Larry, f**k you.
I was raised religious and my mom invented a concept called microsinning. Home by 11 make it home at 10:50 punished because it was too close to 11 and your being defiant.
My mother would come home from work occasionally and say "I know you did something you weren't supposed to, go to you room, you have 15 minutes to think about what you want to say. If you lie, you'll get double punishment" I would freak out and say anything I thought might be bad I did during the day. I watched TV and I wasn't supposed to. I forget my textbook at school. I made fun of a girl at school. I climbed a tree. Etc. She would ground me for a week and I would feel relieved it wasn't worse.
F****d up thing is that she had no idea what bad thing i did. She just knew I would confess to anything and everything; being raised religious I always thought I was sinning. So this is a way for her to control me and ground me so she was comfortable with where I was when she had night shifts.
Asian parents. I had to study or do homework for 2 hours everyday. Even if didn't have homework they were force me to re read what i learned for the day
EDIT- some of you are wondering what i am doing as well. I didn't go to university with a scholarship( i could of but i felt so burned out after high school i rejected 2 offers) i took a year off and then went to a technical college called BCIT in Vancouver. I got a IT diploma and am working in the field. I LOVE IT. Sure i could of maybe attended univerisity and got a better job but after high school i wanted to do what i wanted to do.
I'm Hispanic and my family was extremely strict. I had around 4 hours of homework everyday besides school and gym at 8 years old. No music, no TV, no friends. Love to read now because it's the only thing that kept me sane.
My dad wrote "contracts" for me, including clauses like daily wake up/bed times, times to eat and what I ate, chore, homework, studying and sports schedules, and strict rules and regulations regarding how I spent my free time, such as 30 minutes of computer use or video games, one hour of television, one sleep over per month, etc. If I didnt follow my schedule to the dot, missed sports practice or a game, failed to do a chore, or fail to get a 4.0 on every report card, I would be "super grounded" as my friends referred to it. Basically I had to read quietly in my room, I wasnt even allowed outside. I had to sign these contracts and commit to them or I would be sent to military school, which is where I spent every summer after 7th grade, taking classes, anyways. As a result of those classes, I was a couple of grades ahead with math, english and science, and was still expected to make perfect marks every semester. I was grounded virtually all the time, but luckily my parents had joint custody, and I escaped to my mother's house as much as possible.
I fought for sole custody to belong to my mother when he finally decided that, having caught me in the "act" with my girlfriend at the time, he was going to send me to a military academy four hours away. *Nope.*
Havent spoken to him in almost 6 years.
edit: forgot to mention the mandatory drug testing from age 14 onward. Dont even get me started on what he would have done if he knew how much I smoked.
Good, may he die a lonely and regretful death later on while you continue to flourish. Smh!!!
My stepdad typed up and printed a 5 page list of rules. He made me print, sign and date the last page.
I was to be held accountable and if any rules were broken I had to move out.
I wasn’t a bad kid. The whole thing was to establish his dominance on me.
MOVE OUT?? I'm sorry but I'm pretty sure kicking your kid out of the house when he's underage is kinda extreme and possibly illegal
That I was not allowed to have friends and hang out with classmates because they were wordly or whatever it's called in english. I wish I could have had a more normal childhood without feeling like a traitor all the time for wanting to have friends.
I couldn't shave my legs until I was 16. I did when I was 12. Mom found out and grounded me.
I had to ask to get a drink of anything or eat anything.
Couldn't go anywhere unless my little brother could go with too or if he had a play date. If he didn't have anyone to play with, then I couldn't either. (We are 8 years apart).
Edit: Thank you kind stranger for my first Reddit gold!
Mom told me when I passed 8th grade I could shave my legs so I shaved my legs the Summer after I passed 8th grade. She found out and got pissed. I told her you told me I could. She was still pissed.
We had to drink a glass of lemon juice right before bed. Pure, freshly squeezed lemon juice. A whole glass. Timer went on for ten minutes. If it went off and you weren’t finished, spanking. Set timer and repeat until the lemon juice is gone. I did ok, maybe one spanking, but my sister has a terrible gag reflex so she really got it bad. As you can imagine, being five and going to bed like that makes for some nasty heartburn/nausea.
My dad was a Indian man with strong core values and really strict regime
- no drinking anything expect water and milk
- no added sugars
- have to run and do push ups for a hour everyday
- no music except Hindu religion songs
- he kept my hair buzzed all the time
- no graphics on tee shirts only solid colors and no bright colors only basics like Gray,White,Black and sometimes dark green
- No American food
Eventually I broke and lashed out got black out tattoos started listening to everything especially Rob Zombie and making really f*****g stupid choices just to get back at him he died this November and he told me he was sorry for being so controlling and he's glad I found my direction in life so I guess he wasn't the biggest lunatic after all
Tbh, I'm not mad at making kids get some exercise everyday. We are going through an obesity epidemic after all
Lots of weird rules when I was growing up, but the one that sticks out as the most dysfunctional is “no talking at the dinner table!”
When my brothers and I would start talking, my dad would just yell, “Hush! I’m trying to watch the news!”
So, yeah, socializing was frowned upon. You should see my dad’s face at my house now and all 3 of my kids are chattering at the exact same time. The look in his eyes is priceless! Poor bastard can’t handle it...
I wasn't raised strict at all, but looking back I realize that not being allowed to have a drink at dinner is kinda weird. At lunch? Fine. At a restaurant? Sure. But regular dinner at home? No drink or you might be too full to eat all of your food.
Wtf mom.
EDIT: No guys, I actually never wet my bed.
My mom also recommends my sister and I not to drink while having rice and other carbohydrates since water will make rice expand and it actually makes you full really fast.
My dad's ex wife wouldn't let me put my hair in a towel to dry it. Like you know how normal people wrap their hair in a towel when they get out of the shower- even she did it- she wouldn't let my sister and i do that.
She also wouldn't let us get up from the table until we ate all our food (this was never a rule before she got there and wasn't a rule at my moms during the week) my sister sat at the table for 4 hours once until my dad noticed shed been there all night. We started tossing the food we couldn't eat in the toilet which prompted the new rule that we couldn't go to the restroom during dinner.
I had the same rule enforced upon me, luckily those ássholes, I mean parents, didn't notice the dog under the table that doubled as a garbage disposal. 👍🏾
Wasn't allowed to eat diet food. Half the family was on a diet and almost all the food was diet food. The skinny people were NOT allowed to eat any of the "special" food and there was a LOT of "special" food.
I remember being caught eating a cup of yoghurt, I would hide it and got caught once and got the $hit chewed out of me.
Even family friends used to comment on how skinny I was, my parents would simply laugh and say "I WISH I was that skinny".
People used to make fun of my body as a freshman in HS, I got a job, joined a gym and had to buy my own food.
Not one of the obese people ever lost any weight, they just ate a lot of diet food, most of them died very young.
My parents forced me to avoid talking to girls because they didn't want me dating but they would disown me for being gay. Which one is it you f*****g dumbasses?
Could not watch Disney movies as a child because they showed kissing before marriage. Wasn't allowed to go to friends houses or let them give me a ride home from school because I'd be imposing on their parents. Mother went through my trash to make sure I didn't throw out anything important.
My grandma went through my trash and would get mad at me for getting rid of stuff I could donate
I'm a girl. My mom wouldn't let me wear shorts that were shorter then above knee length. I remember how embarrassing it was on spring break when long shorts were all I had to wear and even my friends parents were wearing shorter shorts then me. I bought some normal sized shorts once when i was at the mall with my friends. I put it on with a tank top and asked my mom if I could go to the movies. She told me I looked like a street walker.. I was 12.
Fast forward several years when we were looking at old family photos. I saw my mom wearing extremely short jean shorts herself when we were babies!
When I was even younger, around 8, I got a dress from Limited Too that I loved. I wanted to wear it to church. While I was in the car my mom started yelling at me about how it was too short and I was embarrassing and how we'd have to turn around and she'd make me change. It made me cry. My dad stood up for me and told her it was only a dress and to stop being so mean.
Ever since I got my own car and could buy my own clothes I wear extremely tight short shorts and tank tops. F**k you mom, you're the only one who cared what I wore, you body shaming witch
Southern independent baptist family. You could rent movies, but not go to the movie theater. The logic was people may think your seeing a rated R movie if your seen at a theatre and that sets a bad example. Radical baptists are a cooky bunch.
It was not appreciated when 13 yr old me pointed out that movie stores actually had those curtained rooms with the real stuff.
Edit: this feels like some weird support group for people who experienced a peculiar religious upbringing.
My dad is all about cleanliness, despite not really washing his hands. He likes the walls, floor and bathroom to be impeccible. Since I can remember I haven't been allowed to touch any of the walls in our house. He actually gets upset with me and will lecture me on it if he catches my finger grazing a wall. I haven't been comfortable touches walls ever because of this.
edit: smokers leave nasty fingerprints.
Surprised to see so many dads who don't like touching walls.
My dad doesn't like me touching windows, but I can see why. If this were to apply to walls though? I don't think that I'd understand
My parents weren't really strict (didn't have to be) but one of the dumbest rules I ever had to endure was I had to wear socks at all times, because my step-dad hated me walking around with bare feet. It was only me, too - my mom could be barefoot, my younger (half) brother could be barefoot, but I couldn't.
To this day I f*****g hate wearing socks unless I have shoes on.
EDIT: Since a lot of people are asking the same questions, I'll respond here: No, my feet didn't stink (pretty sure) since I wasn't a very active kid growing up. I'd like to think my feet weren't ugly but.....maybe? And I'm REALLY hoping it wasn't because he had a foot fetish, but I suppose it's possible haha.
Could never have my door shut because as a kid "I don't pay any bills so I'm not running anything around here"
My parents never let me lock ANY doors, no matter what, other than the front doors. I get it, you don't want a five-year-old trapping herself in the bathroom alone and getting stuck. But not letting a teenager lock the bathroom door or bedroom door or anything like that? F**k it.
Dad is a professor. Wouldn't let me go out and play without doing math problems and/or a short essay and then checking it with him
Took off the door to my room during high school because I brought in a PSP (no technology in the bedroom)
They would call the cops if the bus was 5-10 mins late dropping me off
Friends couldn't come over until they got to meet both parents and speak with them
-I know they mean well and I turned out smart, but I have no social skills and am awkward af
Calling the cops when the bus ran late. 🤣 Having been a teacher and understanding school funding and the law, busses are another FREE service being offered by the school districts, their budget does not require funding for shuttling students and schools only started doing this to increase attendance cuz shítty parents who are to lazy to get their children to school on their own. That's why when kids misbehave the driver can kick them off and even have them completely removed because the bus is an added privilege that the school has provided, not a requirement. Hence why I find it so laughable, calling the cops because a free service offered to you is running a little behind. Fúck off!
My grandfather was kept as a prisoner in a back room and I wasn't allowed to talk about it. Also had to eat every thing on the plate at every meal, also saw same grandfather die in the hallway of a massive heart attack and was beat when I cried.
Was beaten every other day or so for 16 years. Mostly for "not listening" but sometimes for just having the wrong expression on my face. Yes if I smiled or frowned at the wrong time I got beat.
So "most absurd...."?...... maybe the beating for moving a record I never touched, or maybe one for having friends make to much noise outside our house when I wasn't even home. Or maybe the one for yelling at my dad beating my mom.... i thought that yelling was justified... nope guess not.
How awful, and as an adult outside of such abuse we say "go tell a teacher" but as a kid in that position, you never do. Hope things are better for you now.
Not me, but one of my friends. For context, my friends and I are 23/24. Went over to my friend's house in Long Island a week ago. I don't have my own car yet, so my brother-in-law and sister dropped me off. I moved to a different part of Long Island about a year ago, so I don't have a ride back home like I usually did back when I lived in Queens. Asked my friend, whose house I was at, if he could drop me home. Initially he said yes, but as we were all ready to leave to go home, my friend informs me that his parents have a tracker on him and he can't drop me home. I had no problem taking the train back home, but we were so perplexed when he said it, as if it was normal. I knew his parents were strict and really wouldn't let him go anywhere when we were kids, but holy s**t, the fact that he's still subjected to this, to the point where they **placed a f*****g tracker** on him made me incredibly sad on my way home.
My mother insisted that I called her EVERY time I moved to a different location, and she wanted to speak with the parents of my friends each time as well... she taught me how to be super sneaky, and how to lie without flinching...
We were never allowed to stay up past our bedtime. Ever. I never saw the end of Grease until I was in high school because my bedtime was 830. (Obviously I grew up before vcrs, I think we got one when I was in 6th grade.). 4th of July? Block party? Going to a baseball game with friends? Nope. Because of bedtime. When I was 12 I watched the fireworks from my bedroom window, got caught and got grounded for two weeks.
I had unlimited texting on my cell phone plan, but couldn't go over 100 in a month or I was grounded.
I get that. I remember on the news how kids in HS were getting early onset arthritis from texting too much.
We weren't allowed to touch or use anything that wasn't specifically ours. It was kind of frustrating by the time I was a teenager, I couldn't do any of my own laundry or anything because I wasn't allowed to touch the washer and dryer, so I always had to wait for my mom to do that stuff even though she was working full time. Which meant I often didn't have clean clothes. Now that I'm a parent I understand better though, I still think my mom was a bit too strict about that stuff, but kids can be really destructive. She would also throw out our stuff if we didn't pick it up, any kind of mess would just really stress her out. I can't imagine throwing away my kids toys as a punishment.
I lived in a no touch house. but to be fare she has a lot of breakable $hit everywhere.
My mom went a little nutso when I left for college. I'm the youngest by 5 years and my mom's always had a lot of anxiety about my safety and my life choices, and just way too involved in everything to do with me. However, I was a really good kid in high school, mostly because I was an introvert who hated my classmates and spent all my free time reading or rehearsing for a play (former theater nerd). So the crazy my mom possesses did not come out fully until I had moved away and she could not keep tabs on me.
Long story short, she - without my knowledge - installed a tracking device into my car and preceded to flip her lid when I went to visit a friend in Santa Cruz. After that fiasco, rules were established. I was not allowed to drive out of the county my college was located in unless it was to come home. I was not allowed to drive after 10 PM, I was not to have anyone in the car with me, and I was not to drive over the speed limit (somehow she would get alerts on her phone that told her my MPH). We discussed me giving the car back to them and purchasing one myself, but she told me that she would consider that incredibly disrespectful and if I did that she would stop assisting me with tuition. I was very lucky my parents were willing to pay my way through school, and support me, but my mom definitely used that to her advantage to control my behavior as much as she could throughout school. We had a pretty strained relationship because of it for a few years. She got relatively normal as I got older. I'm 28 now, and the crazy only comes out occasionally.
EDIT: for anyone wondering why I didn’t just take the tracking device out when I needed to, it would send my mom alerts if it was tampered with. [Here’s] (http://www.motosafety.com/features.html#geofence) the one I had for those who are curious. It’s possible I could’ve gotten around it somehow, but like I said, I was a good kid all through high school and wasn’t experienced in the art of subterfuge .
Not me but my best friend in Elementary school was raised in a ultra-strict home and one of the most ridiculous things was her phone calls were restricted to 3 minutes. Her mom used a timer and she never, ever made exceptions. This was way before cellphones so we literally had three minutes to communicate. It sucked.
What if she had a 3-min call, hung up, and then called again like a minute later?
Not me but a friend of mine had s****y foster parents would force him to start his sentences and conversations over if he didn't articulate it perfectly. This led to him having serious stuttering issues along with all the other requirements he had to follow to appear proper according to his foster family. He got out of that family when he turned 18 and doesn't stutter nearly as bad.
If you didn't instantly say what you wanted to eat my father would cook onions and garlic. He didn't like people wasting his time.
I wasn't allowed to swim in public swimming pools because I would catch AIDS. When my PE class would go to the pool one week a year, I had to walk laps around the pool because I couldn't participate.
My parents hadn't been strict in the traditional sense, but we did have some very unusual rules.
The weirdest of which involved new shoes.
We would get punished for putting new shoes on the table. Dirty old shoes? Fine. New shoes? Thats a Time-out.
If we (my brother and I) weren't at the breakfast table by exactly 6:30 all we got for breakfast was unbuttered toast. My mom was all about breakfast but she despised tardiness.
My brother ate a lot of unbuttered toast growing up.
I ate unbuttered toast cuz my mom told my 11yo self I was going to get fat if I ate things like butter and salad dressings, etc. Thanks, Mom, for the anorexia. 😒
My mom used to not allow me to watch any movies that had magic in them. Jumanji was considered “demonic.” I didn’t even see the Little Mermaid until I was 16. I didn’t watch the Princess and the Frog until I had moved out.
I was also banned from reading/watching Harry Potter. I managed to sneak that in at the age of 20. Mom never caught me. Dad didn’t give a care.
I couldn't brush my teeth after breakfast on school mornings.
I had braces, and my mom wouldn't let me brush my teeth after breakfast in fear of us being late for school. I offered to make my own breakfast earlier in the morning in order to compensate, so I could get all the gunk out of my braces after eating. However, when I made my breakfast the next morning she revoked my "ride to school privilege." Had to ride my bike to school every day from then on (luckily my school wasn't a long ride, but rainy days sucked). It was my punishment for being disobedient.
Zero right to any personal property. Sure, I had stuff that was mostly mine, but they made sure I knew that they could take literally anything away from me at any moment. Clothes, shoes, tech, doors, diaries - no boundaries as long as I lived under their roof. And they would take it just to prove a point.
My mom was the winner. ANYTHING I had ,had to be shared. The clothes I wore were all hand me downs, so I relished anything near new. My mom would also ground me if I didn't get up and do the 2 am feeding for my newborn sibling. I still had to get up for school and this was during the era of 1960s when bottles were boiled before being filled with formula. Took awhile. My uncle and aunt gave me a stereo they were no longer using. She insisted that I share it with my sibs, until my uncle hollered at her. Shall I continue??
I wasn't allowed to read Harry Potter because it was "witchcraft"
At 19, I was to be home before midnight, even with an SO, I had to always tell them where I was. If I didn't, they'd just look to see where I was and for how long on the tracker they put on my phone. If you've heard of the kid's pc game "Wizards 101", I wasn't allowed to play that. Still at 19, mind you. At 18, I couldn't watch TV by myself, and I had to use my laptop where everyone could see me, always. I couldn't read Gandhi's autobiography because God. I had strange parents...
No matter where I am or what I'm doing in my house (including using the bathroom) me and anybody I have over has to be at the door to say "hi" when my parents get home. Otherwise I get really b****y parents ALL night.
Mine weren't strict in the traditional sense, but they did have a lot of weird rules. My younger sister and I had to ask to watch tv, use the bathroom, have a snack, or be excused from the table, etc. all the way up until we moved out. We were usually told yes, so it didn't feel controlling. Just an odd thing looking back at it.
I would have to ask for a cup of water. Tap water. My mom would tell us we didn't have tk ask, my dad would say otherwise. I listened bc he was very abusive and didn't want to get beat on.
You couldn't ask for anything (if you could go to a friend's house let's say) while still on the phone with your friend. If you did, it was an automatic no. I just abused it to not have to go places I didn't want.
Wasn't allowed to watch Spongebob or Catdog because "they were mean to each other." Also, bedtime was 7:30 until the 8th grade.
OMG THE BEDTIME THING- The spongebob thing isn't so bad though
One of my best friends (neighbor) growing up had extremely strict parents. In the summer time, they wouldn't let him come outside to play baseball with us because there were mosquitos. I think they were just insane, overprotective, and didn't help him in the long run. Once he got to college, he kind of lost it, and ended up dropping out and going back home to live with his parents and do community college. Still lives with them today at 32 years old. Poor guy.
Kept my daughter inside a lot during the summers when she was little. Had every kind of repellent and physical barrier going. Even so, we ended up at the hospital a couple of times each year after she got bitten by mosquitoes.
Mine aren’t that strict but my dad has this weird thing he’ll end up going crazy over. My dad’s side owns a truck repair garage and they get tons of cardboard from shipments and they burn it. At home we have a garbage bag that he takes up and puts in with the stuff to be burnt and will get extremely angry if you put burnable garbage in the normal garbage to the point he will go through and get anything out that can be burnt. It’s really weird and kinda stupid because unless if I’m wrong we don’t get charged more if our collector gets more bags but he looses it over the idea of something in the wrong bin.
My parents had "trash" and they had "garbage." I'm 56 years old and still don't know the difference.
Not that strict parent but we had a rule that we could only play videogames 30 minutes a day when we first got into it with PS 2 so we had a cooking timer set when we started playing.
Obviously it didn't hold for many years
My dad was super strict about coming home on time. If I was supposed to be home 4 a clock, and was home 4:02 he would be "really disappointed" and said I was too late. 2 minutes, one hour is just as bad. Late is late.
I get now he was sort of preparing me for the adult life and being on time for work and stuff like that.
He also was big on grounding. Once I got a note home from school saying that I was talking back to teachers and was "a disturbing element in the classroom"
I got grounded "until my attitude changed"
My grandfather was like that too. He would beat my dad and his siblings with a belt if they were even seconds late. My aunt even once cut herself with a shard of glass to get hospitalized and have an excuse to miss curfew. My grandmother said she would get nervous and panicky if her kids weren't home when curfew was approaching. NGL I'm kinda glad he died before I was born, although I feel bad saying so.
I came to say the same, most are not just "weird rules", but outright abuse.
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One thing weird about my parents is that onion and garlic are banned in my house. The reason is because my mom believes that onion and garlic cause depression and give out negative vibrations. She also hates it whenever I talk about astronomy around her as she believes that it’s all fake and that the world will end soon in the next decade and then some “golden age” will happen where only she and a few thousand other people will be reborn as deities. She doesn’t believe in evolution and she thinks that our country (India) is the oldest and best country and all others “stole” our culture.
There aren’t any weird rules that I grew up with but that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t abused. I was held up to the ceiling and choked for wearing jeans and doing mild warm ups that didn’t require any stretching. I also got threatened with a knife because my former friend told my parents that I was suicidal
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This was a terrible f*****g thread. I was hoping for you know. oh I couldn't go out before 7 am because of ghosts. Instead it's either straight up child abuse, or children just not liking being punished when they do stupid s**t.
We both know what BP is, and we all know is that this thread was gonna be about abuse, not crazy rules
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I left home at 17 as soon as I finished high school. My stepfather was a pervert who walked in on me showering or getting dressed. He also gave me a hiding over his lap, on my bare bottom, when I was 16. Mom did nothing. He was furious with me when I grew taller than him (6ft@15). I was punished for being left-handed (rapped on the knuckles for using cutlery in the "wrong" hand). He was an absolute @55hole and the day he finally died was probably the best day of my life.
Okay...I expected like....we aren't allowed to drink soda or something like we couldn't wear red....these are jot absurd...these are insane
had to stop reading after a while. A lot of these are just straight child abuse. My parents were strict and had weird rules, but were not abusive in any way and have lightened up considerably since then. I didn't go to a movie theater until 11th grade. That's about the worst I've got I think.
This thread makes me appreciate my parents and the childhood I had. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't always the happiest it could be. We were poor and the house was overcrowded, but I didn't go through anything like this.
My parents kicked me out of the house when I was 19 because they found out I had sex with my very serious, long term boyfriend (I married him 5 years later; he is an incredible partner). No warning, no help, and my dad didn't speak to me for 3 years! For having premarital sex! I had one day to pack my stuff and then I was out. Thankfully, a friend had a spare room she let me rent for a few months but I want to reiterate: I was 19, I had no money, worked a crappy job that paid basically nothing, and they took my car and my phone. It was a very dark time. I spent several months couch surfing, narrowly escaped a few assaults, and spent one night sleeping in a park. Many tens of thousands in credit card and student loan debt I managed to figure it out. Eventually, they started speaking to me again, but anytime anything goes slightly askew in my life my mother likes to remind me that it's because "I gave my heart away too soon" but that's growing up in a Christian house I guess...
No, that's growing up in an abusive house. Plenty of people grow up in Christian houses and aren't treated like that and people who hide behind "Christian ideals" are just cowards not true believers.
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Here, since I can't add a post I'll just put it in the comments: This isn't really child abuse, it's just super unfair. Once, my dad wanted me and my siblings to clean up the house- we had company coming over later that night! He told me to put away the groceries. I did. Then he told me to do the laundry. Done! Then he told me to take care of my brother (who at the time was five) while he went to the grocery store, and I also did that. He made me clean two rooms. I did that too. Then he yelled at me to make rice. That was easy, I did that. Then I had to clean up all the food after dinner was finished and package all the leftovers. Finished. Yeah, that's a lot of work for (at the time) a 12-year-old girl. What did he make my teenage sister do? Nothing.
Not as bad as many of these posts but, my mother used to have a tantrum and/or return things that I bought when I was a teenager. Item I got with the money that I earned from the Saturday job that she made me get. Numerous times I caught her trying to get into my phone (again funded by myself)
These for sure are all emotional and/or physical child abuse. I know - I am a retired social worker - worked in that area almost all my professional life. I hope all these now grown children have gotten some therapy or other kinds of help. Carol
No friends over at the house. No sleep overs...no neighborhood kids playing in our yard. If we wanted to play, we went over to our friends houses. We were also not allowed to get sick during the school year or miss classes. If we had to stay home because we were sick, my mother would let us know how much of an inconvenience it was to her. The kids were not allowed to drink soda in the house. All soda consumption (a rare occurrence) was to take place outside. Then my grandmother on my Dad's side always wondered why their garage fridge, that was filled top to bottom with soda, was always empty after us kids left......
This girl at school wasn't allowed to wear a mask when masks were optional but encouraged. Otherwise their parents would take her car away.
My rules were tough: No drugs. No tattoos. You help around the house - you have to be responsible for your environment. When they graduated, they could stay with free room and board, as long as they followed the rules and were either working or going to college... got told how wrong I was on more than one occasion...
This post makes me so grateful for the amazing parents I had growing up. These poor people with such horrible abusive disgusting humans that are meant to love and care for them. And the parents that allow step parents beat and abuse their kids are even worse. Horrible things to do on kiddies.
Mine was don't be depressed. You are just being like that to fool people into feeling sorry for you. You aren't sad, everybody gets sad. Depression is a choice and you just have to change your mind! Yeah cause being suicidal was so much fun. Medication was for the weak and an embarrassment to the whole family that must be hidden away from sight.
Dk if this counts bit my Aunt (legally my mom through adoption) wold tell me "ask for help if you need it! Don't just do it wrong!" Getting on to me for doing something wrong then when I ask for help on a simple task "WHY DONT YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS? ITS SIMPLE AND EASY YOURE GONNA DO IT EVERYDAY FOR A WEEK!"
Some people need serious evaluation before being allowed to procreate. Those up there would have obviously failed said evaluation and seriously need the common sense bashed into them with a sledgehammer... Smh!!!
The creators of this post should know that people in all stages of recovery, including none, will be reading this and posting. It would be good if they would provide some resources in the intro that people can access (phone numbers, websites, literature) to help them work through these experiences and memories. I was abused as a child and went to therapy for years as a young adult. My favorite writer for helping me back away from codependent behavior (extreme people-pleasing) in my adult life is Melody Beattie, especially her book Codependent No More. Best wishes to all those who suffered or who are suffering now.
Most of these parents will be like "whyyyy won't my kids visit me at the nursing home waaaaagh"
I came to say the same, most are not just "weird rules", but outright abuse.
Load More Replies... One thing weird about my parents is that onion and garlic are banned in my house. The reason is because my mom believes that onion and garlic cause depression and give out negative vibrations. She also hates it whenever I talk about astronomy around her as she believes that it’s all fake and that the world will end soon in the next decade and then some “golden age” will happen where only she and a few thousand other people will be reborn as deities. She doesn’t believe in evolution and she thinks that our country (India) is the oldest and best country and all others “stole” our culture.
There aren’t any weird rules that I grew up with but that doesn’t mean that I wasn’t abused. I was held up to the ceiling and choked for wearing jeans and doing mild warm ups that didn’t require any stretching. I also got threatened with a knife because my former friend told my parents that I was suicidal
Load More Replies... This was a terrible f*****g thread. I was hoping for you know. oh I couldn't go out before 7 am because of ghosts. Instead it's either straight up child abuse, or children just not liking being punished when they do stupid s**t.
We both know what BP is, and we all know is that this thread was gonna be about abuse, not crazy rules
Load More Replies... I left home at 17 as soon as I finished high school. My stepfather was a pervert who walked in on me showering or getting dressed. He also gave me a hiding over his lap, on my bare bottom, when I was 16. Mom did nothing. He was furious with me when I grew taller than him (6ft@15). I was punished for being left-handed (rapped on the knuckles for using cutlery in the "wrong" hand). He was an absolute @55hole and the day he finally died was probably the best day of my life.
Okay...I expected like....we aren't allowed to drink soda or something like we couldn't wear red....these are jot absurd...these are insane
had to stop reading after a while. A lot of these are just straight child abuse. My parents were strict and had weird rules, but were not abusive in any way and have lightened up considerably since then. I didn't go to a movie theater until 11th grade. That's about the worst I've got I think.
This thread makes me appreciate my parents and the childhood I had. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't always the happiest it could be. We were poor and the house was overcrowded, but I didn't go through anything like this.
My parents kicked me out of the house when I was 19 because they found out I had sex with my very serious, long term boyfriend (I married him 5 years later; he is an incredible partner). No warning, no help, and my dad didn't speak to me for 3 years! For having premarital sex! I had one day to pack my stuff and then I was out. Thankfully, a friend had a spare room she let me rent for a few months but I want to reiterate: I was 19, I had no money, worked a crappy job that paid basically nothing, and they took my car and my phone. It was a very dark time. I spent several months couch surfing, narrowly escaped a few assaults, and spent one night sleeping in a park. Many tens of thousands in credit card and student loan debt I managed to figure it out. Eventually, they started speaking to me again, but anytime anything goes slightly askew in my life my mother likes to remind me that it's because "I gave my heart away too soon" but that's growing up in a Christian house I guess...
No, that's growing up in an abusive house. Plenty of people grow up in Christian houses and aren't treated like that and people who hide behind "Christian ideals" are just cowards not true believers.
Load More Replies... Here, since I can't add a post I'll just put it in the comments: This isn't really child abuse, it's just super unfair. Once, my dad wanted me and my siblings to clean up the house- we had company coming over later that night! He told me to put away the groceries. I did. Then he told me to do the laundry. Done! Then he told me to take care of my brother (who at the time was five) while he went to the grocery store, and I also did that. He made me clean two rooms. I did that too. Then he yelled at me to make rice. That was easy, I did that. Then I had to clean up all the food after dinner was finished and package all the leftovers. Finished. Yeah, that's a lot of work for (at the time) a 12-year-old girl. What did he make my teenage sister do? Nothing.
Not as bad as many of these posts but, my mother used to have a tantrum and/or return things that I bought when I was a teenager. Item I got with the money that I earned from the Saturday job that she made me get. Numerous times I caught her trying to get into my phone (again funded by myself)
These for sure are all emotional and/or physical child abuse. I know - I am a retired social worker - worked in that area almost all my professional life. I hope all these now grown children have gotten some therapy or other kinds of help. Carol
No friends over at the house. No sleep overs...no neighborhood kids playing in our yard. If we wanted to play, we went over to our friends houses. We were also not allowed to get sick during the school year or miss classes. If we had to stay home because we were sick, my mother would let us know how much of an inconvenience it was to her. The kids were not allowed to drink soda in the house. All soda consumption (a rare occurrence) was to take place outside. Then my grandmother on my Dad's side always wondered why their garage fridge, that was filled top to bottom with soda, was always empty after us kids left......
This girl at school wasn't allowed to wear a mask when masks were optional but encouraged. Otherwise their parents would take her car away.
My rules were tough: No drugs. No tattoos. You help around the house - you have to be responsible for your environment. When they graduated, they could stay with free room and board, as long as they followed the rules and were either working or going to college... got told how wrong I was on more than one occasion...
This post makes me so grateful for the amazing parents I had growing up. These poor people with such horrible abusive disgusting humans that are meant to love and care for them. And the parents that allow step parents beat and abuse their kids are even worse. Horrible things to do on kiddies.
Mine was don't be depressed. You are just being like that to fool people into feeling sorry for you. You aren't sad, everybody gets sad. Depression is a choice and you just have to change your mind! Yeah cause being suicidal was so much fun. Medication was for the weak and an embarrassment to the whole family that must be hidden away from sight.
Dk if this counts bit my Aunt (legally my mom through adoption) wold tell me "ask for help if you need it! Don't just do it wrong!" Getting on to me for doing something wrong then when I ask for help on a simple task "WHY DONT YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS? ITS SIMPLE AND EASY YOURE GONNA DO IT EVERYDAY FOR A WEEK!"
Some people need serious evaluation before being allowed to procreate. Those up there would have obviously failed said evaluation and seriously need the common sense bashed into them with a sledgehammer... Smh!!!
The creators of this post should know that people in all stages of recovery, including none, will be reading this and posting. It would be good if they would provide some resources in the intro that people can access (phone numbers, websites, literature) to help them work through these experiences and memories. I was abused as a child and went to therapy for years as a young adult. My favorite writer for helping me back away from codependent behavior (extreme people-pleasing) in my adult life is Melody Beattie, especially her book Codependent No More. Best wishes to all those who suffered or who are suffering now.
Most of these parents will be like "whyyyy won't my kids visit me at the nursing home waaaaagh"
