Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
I’ve always been an introvert with a generalized anxiety disorder, something which took me many years to figure out. You would think if you struggle with something your whole life, it would be easy to know what it is and how to fix it. But Bruce Willis spent all of The Sixth Sense not knowing he was dead, so maybe not.
When I became I mother, I found myself spending a lot of time on the internet, seeking advice and becoming friends with other moms who were also up at 3:00 am, frantically googling how to make their own baby shampoo out of coconut oil and the pine leaves in their backyard because apparently, commercial shampoo has too many toxins for a baby’s cristal skin; and I finally decided to start a blog and share my own experiences with the world, like an angel.
These are some of the things I’ve discovered in my first two years as a mom, while attempting to balance motherhood, work, and family, and keeping all the crazy on the inside, like a lady.
More info: amitheadultnow.com | twitter.com | pinterest.com | Instagram
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Final score:
80points
Turtleturleturtle 4 years ago
..do you understand that tantrums often happen because the kid is overwhelmed? Even little things can be VERY overwhelming and hard to deal with
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Me as a kid to my mom: "Tell gravity to stop being so mean to me!" Yep. She never tires of telling that. Never.
BluEyedSeoulite 4 years ago
My 3yo had a tantrum tonight because she didn't want to grow a beard like a grandpa... Somehow facial lotion would do that lol
RELATED:
#2
Final score:
79points
Elise Deegan 4 years ago
It's not love him again... Never stopped, that's what it is the be a parent.
#3
Final score:
65points
A Cat Named Dragon 4 years ago
Yeah I think this is unfair. Perhaps it used to be more true and very likely it was because girls were socially conditioned to share our feelings whilst boys were conditioned that feelings should be disregarded. If you are patient and listen to a child, that child will talk to you, irrespective of gender.
Commander Rex 4 years ago
WHEEZE WHEEZE WHEEZE HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH 10/10 FUNNY HAHAHAHAHAHAHHEHEHAHHAHAHWHEEZE! All seriousness, can we stop with this type of thinking now?
Load More Replies...
#4
Final score:
56points
#5
Final score:
55points
Stille20 4 years ago
Yea, my fiancé wants kids... and I agreed.... but also... would he want kids less if he had to birth them.
Load More Replies...
#6
Final score:
54points
#7
Final score:
52points
François Carré 4 years ago
Things like this are just training time for when your kids have left home and you consider having a cat.
#8
Final score:
48points
Dest 4 years ago
I forget to eat all the time. I don't feel hunger often, so I only remember when I feel dizzy
Load More Replies...
François Carré 4 years ago
You'll miss that when he grows up into a teenager boy who eats like he's a bottomless pit.
#9
Final score:
47points
#10
Final score:
41points
#11
Final score:
41points
Virgil Sanders 4 years ago (edited)
same reason adults "need" phones: entertainment, communication, and easy access to knowledge
Load More Replies... #12
Final score:
40points
Stimpy 4 years ago (edited)
I would also panic, if someone tried to drive a shirt through my head. What technique are you using? Do you Push the shirt through one ear using a knitting needle, and then pull it out of the other as soon as the tip pops through?
Amery 4 years ago
IKR?!?!? I caught that TOO, 'Stimpy.' Maybe I'm Ren in disguise ?!?!? LOL !
Load More Replies...
Sofia Monteiro 4 years ago
My 2 year old used to freak out when we dress the sleeves. I had to explain that the arms just don't disappear forever...
#13
Final score:
36points
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
And, as my mom tells everyone endlessly, even tho' I am now flipping well fifty, ask what the body parts are.
Load More Replies...
#14
Final score:
35points
#15
Final score:
35points
Virgil Sanders 4 years ago
lol, my mom said similar things when i was younger (not that last bit tho) XD
François Carré 4 years ago
I can't figure out how toddler-powered energy plants haven't been designed yet.
Fidgets McGee 4 years ago (edited)
I've heard from many moms this "long pooping" habit the husbands adopt, particularly right when its chore time. Odd phenomenon
#16
Final score:
34points
Mark Howell 4 years ago
After my wife gave birth, I used to sleep with a stab vest and on a different continent, for good measure ;o)
#17
Final score:
30points
#18
Final score:
28points
#19
Final score:
25points
A Cat Named Dragon 4 years ago
I am not sure what that has to do with this? But I was so shocked when i saw that news, and kinda sad too.
Load More Replies...
#20
Final score:
24points
Sofia Monteiro 4 years ago
My most important task during the two confinement periods we had in my country related with covid19 was making sure my 2 year old was safe at all times, insidethe house. Their imagination for crazy stuff is just endless
#22
Final score:
23points
#23
Final score:
20points
Shelby P 4 years ago (edited)
When I had my daughter and I went to breastfeed the first time. The nurse (we'll call her Ratchet) kept shoving my daughters head into my boob saying "she needs to latch on" and I'm pretty sure I could tell that she *was* latched on...
LuckyL 4 years ago
When I tried to breastfeed my daugther directly after birth, nurse asked if she's latched on. And I could only say - I think so... - an hour later she really latched on, another thin I wasn't prepared for ^^
Load More Replies... Add New Image
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Virgil Sanders 4 years ago
why are so many people in the comments being such downers? these were funny and were supposed to be, ya know, j o k e s. as in you don't take them seriously and you just look at them, laugh, and move on with your day?
Shelby P 4 years ago
taking life not so seriously and understanding sarcasm as a method of silly/harmless release... these are dying concepts *sigh*
Load More Replies...
Am I The Adult Now? (Post author) 4 years ago (edited)
Hi everyone, thank you so much for reading my post!! These are just jokes, I promise my kid is happy (she said proving she's a good mom). They are mostly about the hard and messy parts of parenting because those are the ones we should find the humor in. Because the times when your kid behaves and the house is clean are not that funny, and if I only wrote about those I'd write like once a year. Again, thank you all for reading my post, means the world. I'm gonna go hug my kid so nobody judges me.
Noelle Morrison 4 years ago
This makes me not want to be a mother! It also makes me wish I didn't exsist...
Amery 4 years ago
There ARE help lines for that; sorry you feel that way. I got burnt out on 'mommying' early as well. Do over? Maybe not..idk!
Load More Replies...
Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
This mom knows whereof she speaks! Let us all bow down before the wise woman! These were all really cute...and accurate.
Oerff On Tour 4 years ago
For all those people who complain about their kids:"You wanted to have sex."
Fidgets McGee 4 years ago
I also wanted to have sex many times and don't have kids. Lil thing called family planning. 😉
Load More Replies...
s. vitkovitsky 4 years ago
Yes, everything is wrong and life is terrible.
Load More Replies... Virgil Sanders 4 years ago
why are so many people in the comments being such downers? these were funny and were supposed to be, ya know, j o k e s. as in you don't take them seriously and you just look at them, laugh, and move on with your day?
Shelby P 4 years ago
taking life not so seriously and understanding sarcasm as a method of silly/harmless release... these are dying concepts *sigh*
Load More Replies... Am I The Adult Now? (Post author) 4 years ago (edited)
Hi everyone, thank you so much for reading my post!! These are just jokes, I promise my kid is happy (she said proving she's a good mom). They are mostly about the hard and messy parts of parenting because those are the ones we should find the humor in. Because the times when your kid behaves and the house is clean are not that funny, and if I only wrote about those I'd write like once a year. Again, thank you all for reading my post, means the world. I'm gonna go hug my kid so nobody judges me.
Noelle Morrison 4 years ago
This makes me not want to be a mother! It also makes me wish I didn't exsist...
Amery 4 years ago
There ARE help lines for that; sorry you feel that way. I got burnt out on 'mommying' early as well. Do over? Maybe not..idk!
Load More Replies... Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
This mom knows whereof she speaks! Let us all bow down before the wise woman! These were all really cute...and accurate.
Oerff On Tour 4 years ago
For all those people who complain about their kids:"You wanted to have sex."
Fidgets McGee 4 years ago
I also wanted to have sex many times and don't have kids. Lil thing called family planning. 😉
Load More Replies... s. vitkovitsky 4 years ago
Yes, everything is wrong and life is terrible.
Load More Replies... You May Like “Because I Was Born Male”: 36 Cases Where Parents Dislike Or Actually Hate Their Kids 30 Mom Jokes That May Have Both You And Your Mom Cracking Up 40 Parenting Jokes That Might Help You Appreciate Parenthood Even More
Dominyka Proškėnaitė
Aivaras Kaziukonis
Aivaras Kaziukonis
Related on Bored Panda
