Here Are 23 Facts That Having Kids Has Taught Me

Darn water. I WANT A REFUND!

Seriously! Their brain is exploding as it rushes to make a person. Like no one is expecting me to explain why I'm crying during PMS... accept my BF... he still doesn't get that logic doesn't apply....that's another story

My 3yo had a tantrum tonight because she didn't want to grow a beard like a grandpa... Somehow facial lotion would do that lol

True true

Sour Patch Kids

*cringe*

Optimistic much?

YEP, my youngest, @17, rarely speaks to me & still lives here!!

My friend's kid is 40+....she is still waiting.

Hur hur... boys dumb, girls smart. Am I funny now?

My boyfriend said he was traumatized by the birth of our daughter because I was in such pain. Even a year later he still doesn't want to talk about it.

Well, I’m glad I’m male

*abstinence intensifies*

Ouch ouch ouch

Might?

Lies ! My dogs wouldn't bite anyone.

Yay children are fun and grateful

....or the wrapping paper, bow, & box(es!)

I don't think I'll ever have kids but I always imagine my "parenting style". One of those is never having any sort of party until the kid is old enough to have a memory of it/or at least enjoy it. Same thing with travelling to Disneyland/other countries etc. with your kids.

If you forget to eat you’re a madman

You'll miss that when he grows up into a teenager boy who eats like he's a bottomless pit.

A great reason to have an extroverted kid around :D

When I was a kid I would stay up all night if you let me nap. My parents wouldn't let me nap so I would sleep at night.

Yes, yes that is important

True

I would also panic, if someone tried to drive a shirt through my head. What technique are you using? Do you Push the shirt through one ear using a knitting needle, and then pull it out of the other as soon as the tip pops through?

And they just *have to* show you the dead squirrel

Aw crap. Teacher:what color is that? child: rojo. Teacher:damn it you’re in fifth grade

I have been doing 'this little piggy went to market' on my daughter and i tell her every time afterwards that they are also called toes.

lol, my mom said similar things when i was younger (not that last bit tho) XD

I've heard from many moms this "long pooping" habit the husbands adopt, particularly right when its chore time. Odd phenomenon

After my wife gave birth, I used to sleep with a stab vest and on a different continent, for good measure ;o)

Bangs aren't cool anymore, anyway . . . so ?!?!?!?

AGREED~!! ^^^^

True

Well, Bill and Melinda ARE getting divorced; just saying~! ;)

Ahh, *now* that movie makes sense ;D

Ooh, what's the name of the movie?