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If you hate wasting time walking around the mall, online shopping might be right up your alley. It’s fast, it’s efficient, and it has become almost like a lifeline during quarantine. When you have something specific in mind, you often turn to the retail giant Amazon, a go-to site for virtually everything. Yet, once you scroll past the items you need, things take a bizarre turn.

The Worst Things For Sale (TWTFS) is a Twitter account dedicated to the most horrible objects on the web. After all, there’s plenty to choose from. The creator, Drew Fairweather, combs the site and handpicks "one terrible item every day" to make his followers a little baffled and a lot amused.

So if you’re looking for a terrible gift guide, you’ve come to the right place because we have selected some of the weirdest things the account had to offer. Continue scrolling, upvote the ones you enjoyed most, and tell us what you think about them in the comments!

When people say that all things should have a function and a purpose, they've probably never stumbled upon an enormous USB-compatible Enter Key or a fried chicken phone case. The internet is chock full of items so extreme that they seem unreal. Yet, all it takes is one look at Amazon to recognize that it’s a true treasure trove of weird, strange, and peculiar objects. 

We reached out to Drew Fairweather, the founder of the account, to learn more about his project and the inspiration behind it. The artist not only writes The Worst Things For Sale blog but is also the author of the daily comics Toothpaste For Dinner and Married To The Sea

Fairweather started TWTFS about ten years ago when he was simply looking through Amazon. He noticed that there were many weird and hilarious items "always peeking out from under what I was actually trying to find," he told Bored Panda. Ever since then, the author has faithfully documented the oddest and most pointless objects found online. "Once you realize the breadth of bizarre things available there, you can't un-see them!" 

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Invisible Potato
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have seen it, its actualy amazing becase it hugely desexualite woman wearing it, so they arent fpcus of some random boner

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When it comes to the Twitter account, it now has more than 11.6K followers. This shows just how many people are drawn in by a desire to discuss and figure out why on earth such things exist in the first place. Also, why some people actually buy them. Well, as they say, one person’s trash is another’s treasure.

"Since buying items is the main creative outlet of most people—most Americans, at least—people enjoy seeing unusual items for sale," he said. Statista reports that Amazon was responsible for 50 percent of US e-commerce spending in 2021. One of the company’s key tools to increase that spending is Amazon Prime, a membership that gives you free and fast shipping, plus extra privileges like streaming music and video. 

In 2018, as many as 62 percent of their customers in the US were Prime members. According to Statista, they are highly engaged shoppers who spend a lot of money—more than double the amount of non-Prime members per year—and are relevant to Amazon’s success. 

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klynch4 avatar
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Oh Mr. Sanders, you're just too finger-lickin' good", Claudia purred seductively as she bit into the hot, juicy drumstick. (I'm going to see myself out now...)

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Scagsy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They have the wrong cover. Judging by her taste in chicken this should have been called 'The Drumstick of Destiny'. Know your chicken people!

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rebeccagrzeskowiak avatar
Svelte Pantologist
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was a reward given by KFC to the first person on Twitter that figured out their account only followed Guys named herb and the spice girls

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ColdDrew
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A cocky chick flick, showing a c**k holding a chick holding a chicken wing

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whalien
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NO OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE WINGS OF FIRE NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Ferdinand Humperdinck
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Waaaaiiit, this actually exists???? .... Americans are even weirder than generally assumed.

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Chris Cristo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know that I should never judge a book by its cover, but I can't stop thinking, "what exactly is this one about?"

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rebecca augustin
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Big buff bear that brings you food. I have no problem with this fantasy

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Joy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The minx! She was flirting with Popeye earlier muttering HIS drumstick was the biggest.

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jBeachey
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t like romance novels., however I will make an exception. This is my kind of romance.

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liam mckirdy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

did you know theres a kfc dating game and a kfc romance movie

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Salty Wild Hair
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol his sleeves are gone so I guess this is the most beefcake the Colonel is going to get!

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elfin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She's not holding a wing. She's holding a drumstick.

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『•• espresso ••』
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This reminds me of a dating simulator where you date the founder of KFC. https://store.steampowered.com/app/1121910/I_Love_You_Colonel_Sanders_A_Finger_Lickin_Good_Dating_Simulator/

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Riley Quinn
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When Lady Madeline Parker runs away from Parker Manor and a loveless betrothal, she finally feels like she is in control of her life. But what happens when she realizes she can’t control how she feels? When she finds herself swept into the arms of Harland, a handsome sailor with a mysterious past, Madeline realizes she must choose between a life of order and a man of passi... (GoodReads)

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Mickie Shea
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sea breeze, a billionaire with his own xcastle and Kentucky Fried. Girls hit the jackpot.

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Smilodon, a Bad Cat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But why a typical Scottish castle in Kentucky? Still want this, and a bucket of extra crispy. If the KFC wasn't all the way across town, I'd go now.

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Lori
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wings of Desire is actually a wonderful film! Does NOT feature The Coronel though!

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Alexander Brior
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Between this and the dating sim, I'd say their marketing is on point

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Denise Indoung
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As I promised below, I've Googled this book as well, it got terrible reviews, and I've got too many other books on my reading list to waste an hour-of-my-life-I'm-never-going-to-get-back on it. But, here is a review site with a review from reader Tilly Booth, who gives the story a re-write that I very much enjoyed. https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/35059487-tender-wings-of-desire

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Nicole Tomme
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Better than a normal harlequin novel. And his shirt is buttoned! Yay! Too many Fabio lookalikes so I see this as an improvement. And he brought dinner! How romantic!

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Mz Phit
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A Wim Wenders classic! I'm going to watch that one again

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Rachel Fagerburg
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand. I don't know if I want to understand. But it is my destiny to understand! 😂

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Michał Osiecki
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

oh yass, colonel, stick that drumstick right into my mouth please

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Metallicd3ath
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And here I thought the Please Date Me Colonel Sanders or whatever the game was called was the first of it's kind.

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Keisha
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's about enough from you Colonel Sanders. I'm going to have to ask you to put those guns away. This isn't 50 Shades Of KFC up in here.

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John Dilligaf
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

fingers aren't the only things that get licked (nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more)

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Brian Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Every surburban housewifes dream man....he brings home the bacon, and the chicken!

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Ozymandias73
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You know the line "Finger lickin' good" is in there somewhere

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Annie Bieber
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm so craving a bucket o' grease right now...taters, gravy & coleslaw...🥺

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Droopsnoot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparently, they are constantly trying to make the colonel look hot (remember the dating sim?)... If that's better or worse than their unpleasant and nasty restaurants, you decide

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Fairweather also writes about items "that seem normal—branded waffle irons, pink screwdrivers—that have a strange or sinister subtext hidden beneath the sales pitch." When it comes to some of the most bizarre things he has ever come across, it has to be the "BabySaver, a box where you store your child's baby teeth after they fall out." 

"The box has holes for each tooth, so you can reassemble your child's teeth into a jaw-shaped curio," he explained. "If that's not enough, it has a slot in the middle for your child's umbilical cord." 

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Scagsy
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe the follow-up is Melanie's Funeral and then Melanie's Wake to complete the trilogy. Not many twists, I'll be honest. Unless there's a crossover into George's Marvellous Medicine.

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When it comes to finding such items floating around Amazon, he revealed that most of them he has dug up on his own, though his followers also help with suggestions. "I tend to stay away from novelty items, which are those intentionally created to be 'wacky,' since there's nothing unusual or sinister about these." 

"I'd rather write about something like Extylus, which is a stylus for your smartphone that you strap to your finger, so you can use your finger to control your smartphone."

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Chris Lehr
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That’s actually quite funny… I think even Jesus would laugh at this.

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"As with any items manufactured and sold, these were all created with the purpose of making money! A lot of these companies, I'd imagine, start with someone having an idea they hope will be popular, a niche product that will become the next Beanie Baby or Scrub Daddy," he told us. "They're then put through the wringer of marketing to become one of the abominations I write about, like Bumper Dumper, the toilet you attach to the trailer hitch of your truck."

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Madison Feehan
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My family destroyed capitalism and the only thing they brought back was this tee shirt.

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The artist revealed that his ultimate goal is to make people think about what they’re buying and why. "These products are mostly made of plastic, manufactured by underpaid factory workers, sold at a premium to people who don't need them," he explained. 

"They're a colossal waste of energy and material resources, and it engenders suffering from the human cost of manual labor, the occupational health hazards experienced by the workers, and the ecological damage done by extracting these limited resources from the Earth." 

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Call Me Mars
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok but I NEED this! I have autism and HATE when food touches, and I would buy this is an INSTANT!

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Fairweather continued: "The very richest people accumulate wealth and use their power to strip the rest of us of health and happiness, then sell it back to us, one plastic piece at a time. We don't need any of these things! It's all a symptom of a society which has prioritized the accumulation of the wealthy over all other aspects."

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Flopsy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wonder if it stores the pee or it just flows out on the other side, and you use it more like a watering can.

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May
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Am I missing something? Why is everyone so grossed out? Pre covid testers for moisturizes were common, and that's essentially what Vaseline is, isn't it?

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So while these awful objects catch our attention and allow us to let out some genuine laughs, they also show a much deeper problem. Remember that each time we consume a product, we support certain businesses and their values. So next time you want to buy a funny-looking thing online, think long and hard whether it's actually worth it.

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OctoPaige
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least make it sticky notes so it doesn't get erased by your sleeve. Amateurs

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You can even store the umbilical cord and the lanugo in it. Every proud parent should have one.

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Lauren Caswell
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amazing how much american flag apparel there is. I'm sure that there's something written that the flag is not supposed to be worn

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IsABELLA
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think its to prepare your cat for a baby in the house so it doesn't eat your child

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Luther von Wolfen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because you can't just use your hands to shape hamburger into any shape you want.

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