Woman At Breaking Point After Finding Partner’s New Will: “My Heart Is Broken”
People can spend years building a trusting relationship, but it can be shattered in just a second.
In a recent post on the subreddit r/TrueOffMyChest, platform user PlusDefinition3458 explained that she found out her partner had secretly changed his will.
This may not have been such a big deal, but the couple had an agreement that they would be each other’s main beneficiaries if something happened to them, and the man went behind her back to replace her with his sister.
So, the woman was left wondering how she should navigate the unforeseen situation.
A person’s will is not just a legal document; it’s a testament to their values
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages / evanto (not the actual photo)
And after this woman discovered that of her partner’s, she was devastated
Image credits: Alex Green / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image source: PlusDefinition3458
In recent years, there has been a surge in similar cases
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto / pexels (not the actual photo)
The Redditor’s doubts about the future with her partner are understandable. Dr. Gary Chapman, clinical psychologist and author of The Five Love Languages, says that if you cannot trust your partner, it is difficult to feel close to them.
When people are preoccupied with doubts and suspicions, they may be less willing to be vulnerable and share their true feelings, which can lead to distance and a decline in intimacy and affection.
When trust is compromised, we’re no longer sure about our partner’s reliability, anticipate betrayal, become overly protective, and avoid commitment.
Trust issues often also result in a breakdown of open and honest communication, leading to jealousy, increased conflict, and other destructive behaviors such as snooping, stalking, and in some cases, infidelity.
According to law firm SAS Daniels, there has been a surge over the last few years in conflicts surrounding wills. This is due to several factors, including rises in house prices, families becoming more complex with the high rate of divorce and remarriage, and just people living longer.
Looking back on their cases, the team at SAS Daniels believes that the most common reasons why families argue over a will are:
- the document is unfair;
- it does not make reasonable provision for a particular person;
- the testator was unduly influenced to make the will in a certain way;
- the will has not been properly executed.
So although each case might be a little bit different, the Reddit story serves as a stark reminder that more money oftentimes means more problems.
As her story went viral, the woman joined the discussion in the comments
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OP was promised a helping hand; instead, she got the finger. Her best bet would be to IMMEDIATELY change her will, so that her (hopefully soon-to-be ex) boyfriend doesn't get the lion's share of her assets in case something happens. He certainly doesn't deserve it. Next, she should definitely rethink this relationship; it doesn't sound too stable, if he's willing to lie and cover up. If, after discussing her feelings with a therapist, she decides that she would be better off without that guy, then that's that. She should be taking her half of any joint bank accounts, removing her name from any shared credit cards, and moving out ASAP. The guy is a loser, treating his SO like dirt.
Just from the title I was wondering if maybe her boyfriend had a disabled sister or something like that, where she wouldn't be able to provide for herself... but this is ridiculous. Together they made wills, agreeing on certain things. Then he changed his completely, and even admitted he was just hoping she wouldn't find out. I don't think you can salvage a relationship when something this big has happened.
When he died (assuming that his share of the home was included in his estate), OP would lose her home and have to sell up and move unless she could buy out the estate. Let that sink in. I suspect this arrangement worked for her partner when he was on the receiving end but not so much when OP is the one receiving from him.
If they own the apartment as joint tenants with right of survivorship it's not an estate asset. It goes directly to the survivor. She really needs an estate planning attorney. First, they're not married so unless she is specifically named in his Will, she gets nothing. Secondly, leaving a percentage of the estate to the mothers mean the will needs to be probated. It's much better to leave them a specific amount as a specific bequest which comes off the top after administrative and funeral expenses have been paid. And she needs to leave his a*s right now. This is an absolute betrayal of her trust and is significant of much more than money. He didn't think she would find out? Well guess what junior, she did and you're an a*****e.
Load More Replies... OP was promised a helping hand; instead, she got the finger. Her best bet would be to IMMEDIATELY change her will, so that her (hopefully soon-to-be ex) boyfriend doesn't get the lion's share of her assets in case something happens. He certainly doesn't deserve it. Next, she should definitely rethink this relationship; it doesn't sound too stable, if he's willing to lie and cover up. If, after discussing her feelings with a therapist, she decides that she would be better off without that guy, then that's that. She should be taking her half of any joint bank accounts, removing her name from any shared credit cards, and moving out ASAP. The guy is a loser, treating his SO like dirt.
Just from the title I was wondering if maybe her boyfriend had a disabled sister or something like that, where she wouldn't be able to provide for herself... but this is ridiculous. Together they made wills, agreeing on certain things. Then he changed his completely, and even admitted he was just hoping she wouldn't find out. I don't think you can salvage a relationship when something this big has happened.
When he died (assuming that his share of the home was included in his estate), OP would lose her home and have to sell up and move unless she could buy out the estate. Let that sink in. I suspect this arrangement worked for her partner when he was on the receiving end but not so much when OP is the one receiving from him.
If they own the apartment as joint tenants with right of survivorship it's not an estate asset. It goes directly to the survivor. She really needs an estate planning attorney. First, they're not married so unless she is specifically named in his Will, she gets nothing. Secondly, leaving a percentage of the estate to the mothers mean the will needs to be probated. It's much better to leave them a specific amount as a specific bequest which comes off the top after administrative and funeral expenses have been paid. And she needs to leave his a*s right now. This is an absolute betrayal of her trust and is significant of much more than money. He didn't think she would find out? Well guess what junior, she did and you're an a*****e.
Load More Replies...
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