Woman Asks If She’s Wrong To Refuse A Wedding Invitation Where She Is Expected To Babysit All The Kids For Free
Interview With AuthorThere’s ‘rude’ and then there’s ‘Rude’ with a capital ‘R.’ A wedding’s supposed to be about celebrating the magical and everlasting love between two people, as they share their joy with all of their closest friends and beloved family members. What a wedding’s not supposed to be is a way to use your acquaintances to do work for free so you can save a penny or two.
Redditor Present-Objective-88 turned to the r/AITA community for a verdict on what happened to her with her friend’s sister-in-law’s wedding. Despite not being invited to the celebration, she was later given an invite… not as a guest, though! As a babysitter. And an unpaid one at that. Rude? Infuriating? Frustrating on a level so deep I can’t even handle it anymore? Check, check, and check.
Have a read through the redditor’s full story below, dear Pandas. We can’t wait to hear what you have to say about this bizarre situation.
The author of the post, Present-Objective-88, gave Bored Panda a small update to the story. She decided not to go to the wedding after all! And the positive side of things is that there have been no hard feelings on either side. All’s well that ends well. “They understood and respected my decision. I’m not sure what they will be doing with the kids since I declined, but I’m sure they’ll come up with an alternative,” she said.
Meanwhile, I wanted to learn a bit more about the proper etiquette for bringing children to weddings and taking care of them during the celebration, so I reached out to The Wedding Society. Anna and Sarah, Team Leaders at TCS, were kind enough to help me out with a very detailed analysis of what’s all right and what best not to do. “Please, do not leave childcare duties to a friend, family member, or guest. If you expect or offer for a parent to leave their child in the care of a person you have delegated, there are legal requirements that need to be in place such as police checks, CPR Training, childcare credentials, and carer/child ratios,” the wedding experts explained to Bored Panda.
“Ultimately, if something goes wrong, you cannot have the responsibility fall on the shoulders of someone not properly qualified or paid for the task. There are many professional wedding childcare options available—it’s important not to cut costs when it comes to providing the personal care of children and minors. You could be legally liable and it’s just not worth the risk.” You’ll find the full interview below, dear Pandas.
A woman was invited to an acquaintance’s wedding, not as a guest but to take care of other people’s kids… for free
The author of the post, redditor Present-Objective-88, also shared her thoughts about why babysitters and nannies tend to be looked down on. “Being a nanny is a tough job, you have to set boundaries so that you don’t act like a parent but you still have to take care of children as if you were a parent (which includes discipline and education),” she told Bored Panda.
“I think there’s plenty of reasons why they’re looked down on going all the way from gender to social status. Historically, a nanny’s job is to take over the women’s responsibility. So, it being a ‘women’s job’ is probably, in my opinion, what has made society look down on it even in 2021 when we’re supposed to be a lot more advanced and aware of these issues related to feminism and misogyny,” the redditor explained that, in her opinion, it’s a feminist issue, not just a job industry one.
When it comes to tasks other than childcare, Anna and Sarah from The Celebrant Society said there’s more leeway. Especially when the tasks are small and symbolic. “Many guests love feeling like they can contribute in some way so don’t be afraid to delegate small duties to anyone who asks if they can help. For simple tasks that allow a guest to still feel like a guest, payment shouldn’t be necessary but a nice gift or special thanks in the speeches should definitely be given,” they said.
But actual jobs require real payment. “If you are asking a friend or family member to provide their actual job (like a florist, photographer, or celebrant), it’s important to offer payment. The decision to gift this service should be made by the person providing the service and you need to remember that you’re asking for them to do the job that provides their income.”
As for the etiquette for bringing children to weddings, Anna and Sarah gave us the rundown on what’s expected and what pitfalls to avoid. “For guests, the standard (and best) etiquette these days is definitely to respect the wishes of the marrying couple when it comes to children at weddings, whether it be that kids of a certain age are welcome, only specific children of a few family and friends, or no kids at all,” they told Bored Panda.
“Please don’t take the inclusion or exclusion of your little ones personally (especially if the couple don’t have kids of their own to fully understand your situation) and remember—as nice as it is to bring your babes along to the celebration, it’s also an awesome opportunity for a fun night off if you’re asked to leave them with a sitter!” they said to look at the positives, whatever the couple decide that they want their wedding to be like.
“For marrying couples, the etiquette can be trickier. Newborns really need to be with their parents so please don’t ask for any babies under a few months to be left at home. It’s perfectly reasonable to ask for parents of older children to take the night off and leave them with a sitter, but the fairest way to do this is to make a blanket rule for everyone rather than picking and choosing which kids can come and who can’t.”
And here’s what people over on Reddit have been saying about the unusual scenario
Present-Objective-88’s tale got over 4.4k upvotes and the redditor even got 13 awards for opening up about what ails them.
Overwhelmingly, the members of the r/AITA community declared that the original poster wasn’t in the wrong.
There’s absolutely nothing nice about only inviting someone to the wedding because you expect them to work for free. You wouldn’t expect the baker, the DJ, and the florist to work for free, so why would you apply a double standard to a babysitter?
What this comes down to, in the end, is that a lot of people have a low opinion of babysitters and nannies. They believe that the work they do is so easy, it’s not even worth paying. Or if they do get paid, the parents might negotiate for a very low wage.
Anyone who’s ever taken care of a child knows just how difficult it really is. It’s not just watching cartoons, building cool things out of Legos, and binge-eating cereal bowl after cereal bowl all day long. (I mean, sure, it’s a part of that, but it’s the fun part, the reward, not the grind.)
You have to make sure that the kids aren’t putting themselves into any harm. That they’re eating well, getting enough fresh air, and learning new things. On top of that, you’re their bedrock for their development: there’s a lot of pressure to help them grow into awesome human beings.
At the end of the day, you get what you pay for. If you skimp on the hourly pay, then your babysitter might not be willing to go the extra mile for your family, even if they feel an emotional attachment to your child.
But that doesn’t even come close to the slap in the face that’s inviting someone to the wedding on the sole condition that they’ll babysit the kids so they don’t cause a ruckus. That’s on the same level as getting your pal, who’s a photographer, to work for free. Yuck!
What thoughts are running through your head, dear Pandas? Who do you think is in the wrong here? What do you think of the entire situation and why do you think some parents look down on babysitters? Let us know what you think in the comments below.
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Share on Facebookif you are not good enough friends to be invited anyway, they are not good enough friends to do it without pay without even asking.
My guess is the person that said "going to the wedding is payment enough" is also the same person that will ask a restaurant for free food in exchange for a shout out on their Instagram story...
Yeah, the same unwarranted feeling of entitlement
Load More Replies...Lol. She got a text saying, "she might have to go to the wedding to take care of the kids"? I would laugh in their faces!
"Have to"? What, is this a boss-employee relationship now?
Load More Replies...She's paying the other people performing services for her wedding. She's wrong to not offer to pay for services.
Just pay people for their services. Don't tell them they "have" to go to the wedding just to take care of the kids-for free! About 15 years ago, I worked for a few months babysitting at weddings: 25 €/h plus the wedding meal (especially great when the menu included lobster, haha!).
She mentions she doesn't know how to wrangle kids. "This is a bad idea. I am not good with kids. It would be a disaster. Come to think of it, I can't do it even if you did pay me. I have no idea how to handle kids."
Yeah. My fam dumps the kids on me pretty consistently (at least my maternal fam). But I've babysat since I was 12, I often babysat the people getting *married*. It's like, "Oh, okay, here we go, a baby, and here's the diaper bag, got it." I get annoyed b/c I'd like to have fun, but it's not the same situation at *all* as someone who isn't okay with kids.
Load More Replies...Why does someone even have to ask if they're being a jerk in this situation? Why still even consider keeping a friend who is that selfish and horrible to you?
Because we gotten to a point in society where you have to be careful about upsetting people because they will try to make your life miserable. They will talk about you on social media and make it seem like you are the villain.
Load More Replies...I'd just laugh in their face if it was me and go about my day. I bet these are the same kinds of people who claim no one suffers more than they do because they're parents and raising kids is difficult but at the same time they don't want to pay people to watch their kids. It's way pretentious to act like their wedding is that special that someone would be willing to watch a bunch of kids they don't know for free in order to go. Unless there's some magical Cinderella-like prince or princess there than forget it. The best response to people who act like you should jump for joy to do unpaid labor for them is f@% no.
yeah, people be like "oh you should be happy to do UNPAID LABOR for me because it's mE"... uh lady heck no
Load More Replies...My mother's wedding invites when she married my stepfather said, " due to the solemnity of the occasion, please do not bring children". We were 15, 13, and 10, and were unsure if WE were invited!
"We've made the decision on your behalf that you are going to work for free at our wedding". Yeah, no. The couple getting married are definitely the assholes here
I'd have said, "OK, my rates are $50 a minute. Per child." And I say that b/c at every flipping family wedding for 20 years now, I am the child-minder. I never see the wedding. I don't get to the reception (I'm exhausted!). I change diapers and reduce tantrums and rock he babies, but if it wasn't family? Oh, he** no!
But but but... why did you even go there?!Your family seems like d***s if they ask you to do that!! It's actually worse because they're YOUR FAMILY!!
Load More Replies...That feels like a super cheeky request from the Bride. That would be a hasty no from me!
NTA. "We deign to invite you to the wedding so that you can babysit our kids for free, and you should be grateful to be invited" is not how you are asking for a favour.
This requires several parties never having been at a wedding nor having met kids in their lives... If she goes she will have a rough time with overtired overhyper kids, and their parents in not much better shape.
I banned children under five at my wedding - five and up are easier to handle. The parents got free babysitters for their kids - the grandparents :)
Load More Replies...NTA. The people having the wedding are the AH here. They didn't invite you and now they're like "oh now we need you to take care of the kids" and it was right to see how much you were going to be paid, so it reinforces my earlier statement, when they said "going to our wedding will be enough pay". Is she paying the other people who are working the wedding? probably. I would have done the same thing you did. NTA.
Just because it's their big day doesn't make it your big day. I would say definitely not, don't go but that's me. Why would you go just to be there to baby sit, as stated you really don't know the bride or the groom. Just remember, if you decide to do this you can be sued and held liable if something happens to one of those children, reality check.
...because you're being paid? only reason I can think of. the appeal of children fades quite rapidly, when they're not related to you.
Load More Replies...I'd go to the wedding, eat, drink, and tell them I gotta go because of an emergency. F**k them and those damn kids. Besides, you get what you pay for.
This person is NTA, the person who wants her to do this is. If you want someone to watch all of these children, you should be willing to pay them. I would politely decline and leave it at that. If they get upset, oh well.
Simple. "I wasn't originally invited to the wedding, so I've already made plans for that day. Sorry. If it were a paying gig, I would probably be willing to cancel my other plans as I could use the money. But if I'm not going to get paid for chasing kids around while everyone else enjoys themselves, I'd rather be doing something I enjoy." They probably thought she'd feel obligated to watch the kids for free as a "wedding present" for the bride and groom.
I honestly wonder sometimes if these posters have absolutely no self worth... why on earth would anyone think he was in the wrong declining that „wedding“?
They may have been raised to be a "nice person" and not make waves (as I was). Since the writer is probably in their early 20s, they're probably still working on asserting themselves. I give her points for asking for a second opinion. I've met people older than that who said "yes" to unreasonable demands.
Load More Replies...This is similar to the "friend" who called me 2 weeks after my mother died, when I had been her 24/7 caregiver for over 3 years, with all that comes with that difficult job - and asked if I would become caregiver for HER mother - saying I could move in, work my online business and they would pay me $500 a month to care for her mother. Read that again. $500. Per. Month. For 24/7 care, feeding, clothing, bathing, toileting, watching that she doesn't slip out the door (she was sundowning at the time, this was a real risk) AND still try to run my business so I could feed & clothe myself & pay my own bills, because $500 a month... Her phrase was, "I've got a proposition for you - you can tell me to go to hell if you want..." I'll let you guess what I told her.
One wedding I went to was while I was 5. They had hired several babysitters, had a whole room for kids, and had even rented a bouncy castle. There was even food for kids, because I doubt any of us wanted to eat seafood or any other “grownup food”. That was a good wedding.
Make them pay you if you want to go, even if you are not a guest, otherwise, decline, or... wait till the last minute when they will expect you there and then decline coming, so they have no time to spare. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Say NO and walk away. You do not need people like this in your life. They are using you and your good nature. You can do better than these people. After all they are paying for the catering, music etc. Why should they not pay for babysitting services as well? Either get paid or don't go.
le diría que sí ¡¡Por supuesto!!!...encantada por la oportunidad...,amiga...,luego no me presentaría a la boda y a ver de donde saca a alguien en el último momento..jjjjj
It is disturbing that her 'friend' would even mention this to her. It seems that one would be offended for a friend if that friend was asked to work for free.
This is ridiculous. Why would you even need to ask this question? Part of being a grown up is identifying stupid requests and people who are trying to take advantage of you and shutting them down. If you are afraid of hurting your friend's feelings maybe you should ask yourself are they are really your friend? Were they worried about your feelings and offending you? Or are you just someone they use?
What of you say yes and walk off and do your own thing? 😂 if it's a destination wedding.
Babysitting is a job, and I would expect to be paid in legal tender for doing a job. NTA
Not only would I not go to the wedding, I would drop that "friend" like the snake that she is....
At our wedding, we had children for the ceremony and the meal, for the reception, all the children were taken back to our place and I paid two neighbour teenagers to watch them until the reception was over and the children were picked up by guests and we came home. It was a win/win, the children get bored at the reception, people are drinking and not always on their best behaviour, the kids can run around at our place and enjoy kids friendly entertainment, we had a bouncy castle in the backyard, coloring, toys and disney movies for them to enjoy. It would never have occurred to me that I should "voluntell" a guest that they are the event's babysitter!
We hired someone to watch kids for our wedding. The venue suggested it and had someone in place for that. We had to purchase different food for the kids (pizza). The sitter was given a meal of her choice from the wedding. We also gave her a tip.
Sorry, I'm out of town that Day. No other answer could ever be possible...
I was asked to do the guest book at my sister-in-law's wedding. Lovely job that included chasing everyone, coordinating with the poor soul who had to take pictures of the guests (not the official photographer as this would have been too expensive), editing and printing the photos. The 80+ guests had zero interest to contribute to the guest book, but since the lovely bride insisted that my husband (her brother) and I had to do it, we spent most of her wedding in a sticky back room editing a guest book. We left totally exhausted at 2am and are barely on speaking terms with her now (not because of the guest book incident, this was just an indicator for everything to come).
It's so wrong to invite you to the wedding to be a babysitter without paying you, but would they expect a gift from you as well, you are after all also "part of the guest list"…? In that case they are asking you to have extra expenses to be able to babysit strangers children. You don't have to tell an excuse to why you can't come, call it "self care" don't let people take advantage of you. Why can't the parents get their own babysitters and leave the kids at home?
Children have no place in a wedding unless they’re old enough to comprehend or if they belong to the people getting married.
Say yes and then pull out at the last moment. F**k that for a game of soldiers.
Can't the guests take care of their own kids? I did at the weddings I went to when my kids were small.
While almost every comment on here is negative. There are many ways to look at this with a positive outcome.
Positives: the original writer is learning to assert themself; the writer consulted other people which shows willingness to seek help and consult others; the writer will now be on the lookout for other red flags in the friendship; maybe the friend and the bride and groom will find a real babysitter and pay them.
Load More Replies...Why? So that you'll have something to complain about. :)
Load More Replies...if you are not good enough friends to be invited anyway, they are not good enough friends to do it without pay without even asking.
My guess is the person that said "going to the wedding is payment enough" is also the same person that will ask a restaurant for free food in exchange for a shout out on their Instagram story...
Yeah, the same unwarranted feeling of entitlement
Load More Replies...Lol. She got a text saying, "she might have to go to the wedding to take care of the kids"? I would laugh in their faces!
"Have to"? What, is this a boss-employee relationship now?
Load More Replies...She's paying the other people performing services for her wedding. She's wrong to not offer to pay for services.
Just pay people for their services. Don't tell them they "have" to go to the wedding just to take care of the kids-for free! About 15 years ago, I worked for a few months babysitting at weddings: 25 €/h plus the wedding meal (especially great when the menu included lobster, haha!).
She mentions she doesn't know how to wrangle kids. "This is a bad idea. I am not good with kids. It would be a disaster. Come to think of it, I can't do it even if you did pay me. I have no idea how to handle kids."
Yeah. My fam dumps the kids on me pretty consistently (at least my maternal fam). But I've babysat since I was 12, I often babysat the people getting *married*. It's like, "Oh, okay, here we go, a baby, and here's the diaper bag, got it." I get annoyed b/c I'd like to have fun, but it's not the same situation at *all* as someone who isn't okay with kids.
Load More Replies...Why does someone even have to ask if they're being a jerk in this situation? Why still even consider keeping a friend who is that selfish and horrible to you?
Because we gotten to a point in society where you have to be careful about upsetting people because they will try to make your life miserable. They will talk about you on social media and make it seem like you are the villain.
Load More Replies...I'd just laugh in their face if it was me and go about my day. I bet these are the same kinds of people who claim no one suffers more than they do because they're parents and raising kids is difficult but at the same time they don't want to pay people to watch their kids. It's way pretentious to act like their wedding is that special that someone would be willing to watch a bunch of kids they don't know for free in order to go. Unless there's some magical Cinderella-like prince or princess there than forget it. The best response to people who act like you should jump for joy to do unpaid labor for them is f@% no.
yeah, people be like "oh you should be happy to do UNPAID LABOR for me because it's mE"... uh lady heck no
Load More Replies...My mother's wedding invites when she married my stepfather said, " due to the solemnity of the occasion, please do not bring children". We were 15, 13, and 10, and were unsure if WE were invited!
"We've made the decision on your behalf that you are going to work for free at our wedding". Yeah, no. The couple getting married are definitely the assholes here
I'd have said, "OK, my rates are $50 a minute. Per child." And I say that b/c at every flipping family wedding for 20 years now, I am the child-minder. I never see the wedding. I don't get to the reception (I'm exhausted!). I change diapers and reduce tantrums and rock he babies, but if it wasn't family? Oh, he** no!
But but but... why did you even go there?!Your family seems like d***s if they ask you to do that!! It's actually worse because they're YOUR FAMILY!!
Load More Replies...That feels like a super cheeky request from the Bride. That would be a hasty no from me!
NTA. "We deign to invite you to the wedding so that you can babysit our kids for free, and you should be grateful to be invited" is not how you are asking for a favour.
This requires several parties never having been at a wedding nor having met kids in their lives... If she goes she will have a rough time with overtired overhyper kids, and their parents in not much better shape.
I banned children under five at my wedding - five and up are easier to handle. The parents got free babysitters for their kids - the grandparents :)
Load More Replies...NTA. The people having the wedding are the AH here. They didn't invite you and now they're like "oh now we need you to take care of the kids" and it was right to see how much you were going to be paid, so it reinforces my earlier statement, when they said "going to our wedding will be enough pay". Is she paying the other people who are working the wedding? probably. I would have done the same thing you did. NTA.
Just because it's their big day doesn't make it your big day. I would say definitely not, don't go but that's me. Why would you go just to be there to baby sit, as stated you really don't know the bride or the groom. Just remember, if you decide to do this you can be sued and held liable if something happens to one of those children, reality check.
...because you're being paid? only reason I can think of. the appeal of children fades quite rapidly, when they're not related to you.
Load More Replies...I'd go to the wedding, eat, drink, and tell them I gotta go because of an emergency. F**k them and those damn kids. Besides, you get what you pay for.
This person is NTA, the person who wants her to do this is. If you want someone to watch all of these children, you should be willing to pay them. I would politely decline and leave it at that. If they get upset, oh well.
Simple. "I wasn't originally invited to the wedding, so I've already made plans for that day. Sorry. If it were a paying gig, I would probably be willing to cancel my other plans as I could use the money. But if I'm not going to get paid for chasing kids around while everyone else enjoys themselves, I'd rather be doing something I enjoy." They probably thought she'd feel obligated to watch the kids for free as a "wedding present" for the bride and groom.
I honestly wonder sometimes if these posters have absolutely no self worth... why on earth would anyone think he was in the wrong declining that „wedding“?
They may have been raised to be a "nice person" and not make waves (as I was). Since the writer is probably in their early 20s, they're probably still working on asserting themselves. I give her points for asking for a second opinion. I've met people older than that who said "yes" to unreasonable demands.
Load More Replies...This is similar to the "friend" who called me 2 weeks after my mother died, when I had been her 24/7 caregiver for over 3 years, with all that comes with that difficult job - and asked if I would become caregiver for HER mother - saying I could move in, work my online business and they would pay me $500 a month to care for her mother. Read that again. $500. Per. Month. For 24/7 care, feeding, clothing, bathing, toileting, watching that she doesn't slip out the door (she was sundowning at the time, this was a real risk) AND still try to run my business so I could feed & clothe myself & pay my own bills, because $500 a month... Her phrase was, "I've got a proposition for you - you can tell me to go to hell if you want..." I'll let you guess what I told her.
One wedding I went to was while I was 5. They had hired several babysitters, had a whole room for kids, and had even rented a bouncy castle. There was even food for kids, because I doubt any of us wanted to eat seafood or any other “grownup food”. That was a good wedding.
Make them pay you if you want to go, even if you are not a guest, otherwise, decline, or... wait till the last minute when they will expect you there and then decline coming, so they have no time to spare. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
Say NO and walk away. You do not need people like this in your life. They are using you and your good nature. You can do better than these people. After all they are paying for the catering, music etc. Why should they not pay for babysitting services as well? Either get paid or don't go.
le diría que sí ¡¡Por supuesto!!!...encantada por la oportunidad...,amiga...,luego no me presentaría a la boda y a ver de donde saca a alguien en el último momento..jjjjj
It is disturbing that her 'friend' would even mention this to her. It seems that one would be offended for a friend if that friend was asked to work for free.
This is ridiculous. Why would you even need to ask this question? Part of being a grown up is identifying stupid requests and people who are trying to take advantage of you and shutting them down. If you are afraid of hurting your friend's feelings maybe you should ask yourself are they are really your friend? Were they worried about your feelings and offending you? Or are you just someone they use?
What of you say yes and walk off and do your own thing? 😂 if it's a destination wedding.
Babysitting is a job, and I would expect to be paid in legal tender for doing a job. NTA
Not only would I not go to the wedding, I would drop that "friend" like the snake that she is....
At our wedding, we had children for the ceremony and the meal, for the reception, all the children were taken back to our place and I paid two neighbour teenagers to watch them until the reception was over and the children were picked up by guests and we came home. It was a win/win, the children get bored at the reception, people are drinking and not always on their best behaviour, the kids can run around at our place and enjoy kids friendly entertainment, we had a bouncy castle in the backyard, coloring, toys and disney movies for them to enjoy. It would never have occurred to me that I should "voluntell" a guest that they are the event's babysitter!
We hired someone to watch kids for our wedding. The venue suggested it and had someone in place for that. We had to purchase different food for the kids (pizza). The sitter was given a meal of her choice from the wedding. We also gave her a tip.
Sorry, I'm out of town that Day. No other answer could ever be possible...
I was asked to do the guest book at my sister-in-law's wedding. Lovely job that included chasing everyone, coordinating with the poor soul who had to take pictures of the guests (not the official photographer as this would have been too expensive), editing and printing the photos. The 80+ guests had zero interest to contribute to the guest book, but since the lovely bride insisted that my husband (her brother) and I had to do it, we spent most of her wedding in a sticky back room editing a guest book. We left totally exhausted at 2am and are barely on speaking terms with her now (not because of the guest book incident, this was just an indicator for everything to come).
It's so wrong to invite you to the wedding to be a babysitter without paying you, but would they expect a gift from you as well, you are after all also "part of the guest list"…? In that case they are asking you to have extra expenses to be able to babysit strangers children. You don't have to tell an excuse to why you can't come, call it "self care" don't let people take advantage of you. Why can't the parents get their own babysitters and leave the kids at home?
Children have no place in a wedding unless they’re old enough to comprehend or if they belong to the people getting married.
Say yes and then pull out at the last moment. F**k that for a game of soldiers.
Can't the guests take care of their own kids? I did at the weddings I went to when my kids were small.
While almost every comment on here is negative. There are many ways to look at this with a positive outcome.
Positives: the original writer is learning to assert themself; the writer consulted other people which shows willingness to seek help and consult others; the writer will now be on the lookout for other red flags in the friendship; maybe the friend and the bride and groom will find a real babysitter and pay them.
Load More Replies...Why? So that you'll have something to complain about. :)
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