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“My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral
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“My Boyfriend Proposed And I Don’t Want To Marry Him Anymore”: Woman’s Honest Post Goes Viral

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Some girls don’t care about proposals. But others want the event to be really special. A proposal, after all, is about showing love and appreciation to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. So, the effort put into planning it reflects how much that person means to you.

And what does a proposal at a McDonald’s reflect? Because it’s exactly what this poor girl got from her boyfriend. The guy unironically got down on one knee mid-burger and popped the question. And with the wrong kind of jewelry! Furious and hurt, the woman decided to ask others whether she was being unreasonable.

We reached out to Michele Velazquez, proposal expert and date planner and owner of The Heart Bandits. She was kind enough to weigh in on this whole situation and told Bored Panda more about how not to propose and how couples should approach the big question.

More info: The Heart Bandits | Instagram | YouTube | Facebook | X | Pinterest

Hardly anyone would consider McDonald’s a romantic place

Image credits: Mike Mozart/ Flickr (not the actual photo)

But one man decided to propose to his girlfriend just as they were munching on some burgers and fries

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Image credits: Gift Habeshaw/Pexels (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: Julia Taubitz/ Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Unusual-Proof-9797

A proposal expert tells us the three worst ways to propose

Michele Velazquez, a professional proposal expert, says that a proposal at a McDonald’s is quite a big yikes. “Don’t propose at a fast food restaurant!” she says with conviction. What are some other rules to keep in mind when planning a proposal?

Michele says that the person proposing should be mindful of their partner’s preferences. “Don’t propose in a way that only you think would be cool. For example, if you love a crowd and your partner doesn’t, don’t propose with a Flash Mob.”

Another big no-no would be to do it in public places and events where there are huge crowds. It’s not romantic or intimate. One example could be a sporting event. “Proposing in front of thousands of people with beer and nachos on the ground is not romantic,” Velazquez points out.

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“Don’t propose using food,” she adds. “Long gone are the days when you can hide a ring in a cheesecake.” That goes for all the other cliches you can think of: ring in a champagne glass, Valentine’s Day proposals, skywriting or plane banners, and at someone else’s wedding.

Image credits: Toa Heftiba/Pexels (not the actual photo)

There is no one right way to propose

Those planning to propose soon might be thinking: so what do I do? Is my every idea bound to be a cliche? What is the right way to propose? Well, there is no one right way – it all depends on what you and your partner want.

“The key to a successful proposal is to create a proposal concept that would be meaningful and resonate with your partner,” the proposal expert says. “The way to do that is to brainstorm things about your relationship that may be unique to your love story.”

“Think about how you first met, how you fell in love, shared hobbies that brought you together, moments in your relationship that made you stronger, etc. Then circle those ideas that you think could be used as the central theme in your marriage proposal.”

Vazquez says that, nowadays, couples tend to talk about marriage before a proposal. “When the conversation comes up about marriage, it is ok to talk about what kind of ring you’d like and how you envision your proposal,” she says.

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“A more subtle way to suggest how you’d like to be proposed to is by starting a Pinterest page for your engagement or liking and sharing proposals you like on other social media outlets.”

What’s more, people don’t have to do all the planning themselves. “10 years ago, when someone was proposing, there really weren’t resources out there to help them. But now there are proposal planners [who] are experts in creating once-in-a-lifetime proposals, so don’t be afraid to utilize them!” Michele urges.

Image credits: Amy Humphries/ Pexels (not the actual photo)

Sometimes, it’s not about the “how” but the “why”

Just as with weddings, many people (especially women) have presupposed ideas about how their “perfect day” should look. But is the way your partner proposes to you really the most important thing in the relationship equation?

Some say that the stereotypical proposal doesn’t reflect the relationship dynamics between a man and a woman in the year of our lord 2024. Professor of marriage and family history at Evergreen State College, Stephanie Coontz, told the Atlantic that the tradition of the proposal is very resistant to change.

In most heterosexual couples, the woman expects a man to propose. By surprise, preferably. The whole ordeal can sometimes veer on the edge of the ridiculous: he’s supposed to know how she wants it to go, but he can’t tell her exactly how and when it will happen.

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“[The proposal is] still so wrapped up in the old tradition of males taking initiative and females being delighted that it’s very painful for everyone if it doesn’t go the way we expect—for the women who has to say no, for the man who feels humiliated, and for any public audience,” Coontz observed.

In the end, the proposal, above all else, should be meaningful to both partners, should it not? “However your other half (or you!) proposed, I hope you never forget that the ‘why’ is a million times more important than the ‘how,'” the founder of The Rock N Roll Bride magazine, Kat Williams, writes. “Whether you were dancing around your living room in your underwear, or standing atop the Eiffel Tower at sunset, that magical moment is YOURS.”

Commenters had some heartfelt and sincere advice for the girlfriend

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sharleedryburg avatar
TheBlueBitterfly
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"He takes me out to dinner, he buys me things, he takes me on trips" me me me money money money. Not "he listens to me, he genuinely cares. He makes me laugh." This sounds more like he got sick of her materialistic entitled attitude.

mikefitzpatrick avatar
Mike F
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And I wanted my mom, dad, sister, dog, goldfish, hell, the whole damned town involved! That's why it happened at Mickey Dee's, the town was already there and he got the ring from the bubblegum machine in the front!

Load More Replies...
byzantiume2 avatar
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So I think anyone who pretends discussing marriage is not a proposal and wants a musical production for themselves is awful, but I don't have to marry them. OP was clear about what she wanted, and is quite obviously the type of person who has it planned out, so BF could have asked for clarification, probably would have received a folder of links and suggestions, and chose not to. And that's fine, that's the counter offer. If they want to play these games for the duration of their marriage of hints and ignoring hints and daring the other one to blink, that sounds miserable to me. I wouldn't want to live like that. But probably that's what their relationship has been up to now. Everyone failed the others tests (his propisal failed to be hallmark enough, her response wasn't enthusiastic enough when it wasn't her choreographed show) now they have to decide if they accept the failures and move on or if they grade on a curve and just keep testing eachother and failing.

simoneyvandenheever avatar
neytjie
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get the hype around perfect romantic proposals. But McDs? What an AH. They both seem self centered and insufferable anyway. Saying he takes me to dinner and buys me things seems materialistic.

parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read that part as "we have regular date nights because he values the relationship, and he also does little, unscripted things to show that he values me". Neither of us has much to go on here... maybe she is materialistic. But maybe she isn't.

Load More Replies...
shaas avatar
TheBlinkingDuck
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's her dream man because he takes her out to dinner and buys her presents and takes her on trips. Not one word about him as a person. Her motivation is money

gillandbella avatar
Gillbella
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband dropped the ring box on to me while I was all yucky with flu. He never asked, I never said yes, then we didn't see each other for 7 months due to work... Gosh I love him to pieces!

debbykeir avatar
Debby Keir
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband proposed to me at his house, but he didn't have a ring. A few weeks later we went together to choose a ring - my daughters were in town too, and we arranged to all meet up at McD's. So, we had the ring, and he got down on one knee (in front of kids and customers ) and proposed again. I thought it was a great move.

charlesmcchristy avatar
Charles McChristy
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope, really hope, this guy was messing with her. To get her the ring in a medal she hates sounds like he may have done this to distract her from the real proposal, but by her answers this appears to not be the case unless hes playing the long game.

bookfanatic1979 avatar
BookFanatic
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad holds the record for the weirdest proposal I've ever heard of. They were at a drive-in and Dad turns to Mom, holds out a ring, and says "Well, what you do think?" They were married for 29 years. Second place goes to my bestie's husband--Starbucks in a grocery store. 7 years and counting for them.

karenhann avatar
Insomniac
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad sent a telegram to my mum when she was living for a year in Brazil. "I miss you so much. Please come home and marry me."

Load More Replies...
paulc_1 avatar
Paul C
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A McDonalds proposal is probably tacky (unless there is a very good personal to the couple reason for it). Similarly asking for a public proposal in front of all of the prospective bride's family is "all about me" selfish (with a hint of Bridezilla to come). Two people not mature enough to be married.

mikefitzpatrick avatar
Mike F
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet another idiotic reddit repost. Come on, this is bottom of the barrel even for reddit.

guineveremariesmith avatar
Gwyn
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His explanation makes me wonder if he was really nervous- just wanted to get it done with- so he chose somewhere he was comfortable. They need to talk more about why he did it this way.

michaellargey avatar
Michael Largey
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you offer your beloved a ring at McDonald's, don't forget to ask "Do you want fries with that?"

rdennis avatar
R Dennis
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I gave my wife a "So I guess we should get married." as a proposal... we have been married 25 years. If you need a fantasy to start a marriage, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It isn't a fairy tale, you aren't a princess. They obviously aren't in the same headspace seven years in...

karenhann avatar
Insomniac
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He set her up for humiliation. He did it in a way he knew she didn't want, with a ring he knew she'd hate. It's not the lack of fairy tale romance that's the problem, it's the fact that he deliberately made what was supposed to be a special moment into a humiliation for her.

Load More Replies...
jnogrimes avatar
UncleJohn3000
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's more important, that you get your way or you get what you want?

karenhann avatar
Insomniac
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he's deliberately doing things he knows you will hate, that's a huge red flag. I have lived that relationship. It gets worse and worse. Constant gaslighting, humiliation, being told I'm evil because I begged him to not give me a fishtank and then got mad when I came home and he'd gone into my house and put away my sewing machine to set up a fishtank in its place. He liked seeing me upset, and it gave him some twisted feeling of satisfaction to force things I hated on me. After we broke up I had a truckload of useless junk gifts to take to the dump. I begged and pleaded with him to give me books... I was in college and couldn't afford books for fun. I always gave him exactly what he asked for as gifts. But he'd insist on buying me c**p he knew I would hate and didn't have room for, and then he'd act all hurt I wasn't excited about something I'd already told him I didn't want.

Load More Replies...
kathryn-nordquist avatar
Salty_Sasquatch
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never told my (now) husband how I wanted him to propose to me, but I did tell him how other people proposed. One proposed while we were folding laundry. Another proposed at a bus stop. My husband proposed to me at the top of the Seattle Space Needle at sunset. It was wonderful.

karenhann avatar
Insomniac
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reactive abuse... he knew she would hate it and find it humiliating, but he did it and now he can hold it over her that she was ungrateful for the proposal. I dated a guy like that. He went out of his way to do "nice" things he knew I would hate, so I was always the bad guy when I didn't like it. That's a purposeful thing to mess with your head. I hope she leaves him.

drsupe avatar
Roberta Surprenant
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the life of me, I cannot understand why people think they need witnesses, family, friends, etc during something as private as a wedding proposal.

ga_5 avatar
G A
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She sounds like s terrible human being. He sounds like a clown. Don't breed if you do stay together. Spare the world that horror.

stacyjones avatar
Stacy Jones
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was 100% a test to see if she would say yes to the lowest effort possible. Me, I wouldn't want to be tested and lowballed my entire life, so I'd have to decline.

jennygooch avatar
Jenny Gooch
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was your age when my EX- husband proposed on NYE in front of the TV with the ugliest ring I'd ever seen. I didn't have any red flags at the time and went with it even though something told me not to. (And I was dreaming about my wedding for years.) Trust your gut. I should have trusted mine and I wouldn't have lost 5 years of my life to an a**hole and 12k in the divorce.

nicoleblom avatar
LCB
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go find a rich old man who treats you like the prostitute you are and enjoy his cash while you can. Then bawl when his will leaves you nothing

sharleedryburg avatar
TheBlueBitterfly
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"He takes me out to dinner, he buys me things, he takes me on trips" me me me money money money. Not "he listens to me, he genuinely cares. He makes me laugh." This sounds more like he got sick of her materialistic entitled attitude.

mikefitzpatrick avatar
Mike F
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And I wanted my mom, dad, sister, dog, goldfish, hell, the whole damned town involved! That's why it happened at Mickey Dee's, the town was already there and he got the ring from the bubblegum machine in the front!

Load More Replies...
byzantiume2 avatar
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So I think anyone who pretends discussing marriage is not a proposal and wants a musical production for themselves is awful, but I don't have to marry them. OP was clear about what she wanted, and is quite obviously the type of person who has it planned out, so BF could have asked for clarification, probably would have received a folder of links and suggestions, and chose not to. And that's fine, that's the counter offer. If they want to play these games for the duration of their marriage of hints and ignoring hints and daring the other one to blink, that sounds miserable to me. I wouldn't want to live like that. But probably that's what their relationship has been up to now. Everyone failed the others tests (his propisal failed to be hallmark enough, her response wasn't enthusiastic enough when it wasn't her choreographed show) now they have to decide if they accept the failures and move on or if they grade on a curve and just keep testing eachother and failing.

simoneyvandenheever avatar
neytjie
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get the hype around perfect romantic proposals. But McDs? What an AH. They both seem self centered and insufferable anyway. Saying he takes me to dinner and buys me things seems materialistic.

parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read that part as "we have regular date nights because he values the relationship, and he also does little, unscripted things to show that he values me". Neither of us has much to go on here... maybe she is materialistic. But maybe she isn't.

Load More Replies...
shaas avatar
TheBlinkingDuck
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's her dream man because he takes her out to dinner and buys her presents and takes her on trips. Not one word about him as a person. Her motivation is money

gillandbella avatar
Gillbella
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband dropped the ring box on to me while I was all yucky with flu. He never asked, I never said yes, then we didn't see each other for 7 months due to work... Gosh I love him to pieces!

debbykeir avatar
Debby Keir
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband proposed to me at his house, but he didn't have a ring. A few weeks later we went together to choose a ring - my daughters were in town too, and we arranged to all meet up at McD's. So, we had the ring, and he got down on one knee (in front of kids and customers ) and proposed again. I thought it was a great move.

charlesmcchristy avatar
Charles McChristy
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope, really hope, this guy was messing with her. To get her the ring in a medal she hates sounds like he may have done this to distract her from the real proposal, but by her answers this appears to not be the case unless hes playing the long game.

bookfanatic1979 avatar
BookFanatic
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad holds the record for the weirdest proposal I've ever heard of. They were at a drive-in and Dad turns to Mom, holds out a ring, and says "Well, what you do think?" They were married for 29 years. Second place goes to my bestie's husband--Starbucks in a grocery store. 7 years and counting for them.

karenhann avatar
Insomniac
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad sent a telegram to my mum when she was living for a year in Brazil. "I miss you so much. Please come home and marry me."

Load More Replies...
paulc_1 avatar
Paul C
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A McDonalds proposal is probably tacky (unless there is a very good personal to the couple reason for it). Similarly asking for a public proposal in front of all of the prospective bride's family is "all about me" selfish (with a hint of Bridezilla to come). Two people not mature enough to be married.

mikefitzpatrick avatar
Mike F
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yet another idiotic reddit repost. Come on, this is bottom of the barrel even for reddit.

guineveremariesmith avatar
Gwyn
Community Member
1 week ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

His explanation makes me wonder if he was really nervous- just wanted to get it done with- so he chose somewhere he was comfortable. They need to talk more about why he did it this way.

michaellargey avatar
Michael Largey
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you offer your beloved a ring at McDonald's, don't forget to ask "Do you want fries with that?"

rdennis avatar
R Dennis
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I gave my wife a "So I guess we should get married." as a proposal... we have been married 25 years. If you need a fantasy to start a marriage, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. It isn't a fairy tale, you aren't a princess. They obviously aren't in the same headspace seven years in...

karenhann avatar
Insomniac
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He set her up for humiliation. He did it in a way he knew she didn't want, with a ring he knew she'd hate. It's not the lack of fairy tale romance that's the problem, it's the fact that he deliberately made what was supposed to be a special moment into a humiliation for her.

Load More Replies...
jnogrimes avatar
UncleJohn3000
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's more important, that you get your way or you get what you want?

karenhann avatar
Insomniac
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If he's deliberately doing things he knows you will hate, that's a huge red flag. I have lived that relationship. It gets worse and worse. Constant gaslighting, humiliation, being told I'm evil because I begged him to not give me a fishtank and then got mad when I came home and he'd gone into my house and put away my sewing machine to set up a fishtank in its place. He liked seeing me upset, and it gave him some twisted feeling of satisfaction to force things I hated on me. After we broke up I had a truckload of useless junk gifts to take to the dump. I begged and pleaded with him to give me books... I was in college and couldn't afford books for fun. I always gave him exactly what he asked for as gifts. But he'd insist on buying me c**p he knew I would hate and didn't have room for, and then he'd act all hurt I wasn't excited about something I'd already told him I didn't want.

Load More Replies...
kathryn-nordquist avatar
Salty_Sasquatch
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never told my (now) husband how I wanted him to propose to me, but I did tell him how other people proposed. One proposed while we were folding laundry. Another proposed at a bus stop. My husband proposed to me at the top of the Seattle Space Needle at sunset. It was wonderful.

karenhann avatar
Insomniac
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reactive abuse... he knew she would hate it and find it humiliating, but he did it and now he can hold it over her that she was ungrateful for the proposal. I dated a guy like that. He went out of his way to do "nice" things he knew I would hate, so I was always the bad guy when I didn't like it. That's a purposeful thing to mess with your head. I hope she leaves him.

drsupe avatar
Roberta Surprenant
Community Member
3 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For the life of me, I cannot understand why people think they need witnesses, family, friends, etc during something as private as a wedding proposal.

ga_5 avatar
G A
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She sounds like s terrible human being. He sounds like a clown. Don't breed if you do stay together. Spare the world that horror.

stacyjones avatar
Stacy Jones
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was 100% a test to see if she would say yes to the lowest effort possible. Me, I wouldn't want to be tested and lowballed my entire life, so I'd have to decline.

jennygooch avatar
Jenny Gooch
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was your age when my EX- husband proposed on NYE in front of the TV with the ugliest ring I'd ever seen. I didn't have any red flags at the time and went with it even though something told me not to. (And I was dreaming about my wedding for years.) Trust your gut. I should have trusted mine and I wouldn't have lost 5 years of my life to an a**hole and 12k in the divorce.

nicoleblom avatar
LCB
Community Member
1 week ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go find a rich old man who treats you like the prostitute you are and enjoy his cash while you can. Then bawl when his will leaves you nothing

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